#15Fannies

[sharperthewriter]

The 15th Annual Kim Possible Fannies - Chapter 1

From the Desk of Sharper Hello, everyone, we finally made it to that point. It is time to reveal the winners of the 15th Annual KP Fannies Awards. Of course, this is the third (and last) time (for now? Who knows. :P ) that the plot of this story will focus on the live-action movie. Also present is a parody of the streaming services that every network seems to be going into these days...and of course, the craziness that we're all dealing with right now with the...thing-that-shall-not-be-named. So let's kick back and enjoy the ceremony...hopefully without incident this time...hopefully... :P Kim Possible, characters and settings (both live-action and the toon) are created by Schooley and McCorkle and (c) by Disney. The fanfic is rated T for some language, comic action violence, a drug reference, mild thematic elements and some suggestive dialogue.

Chapter 1 - Quarantine (LAM verse, April 16, 2020, 6pm) And the Dow dropped today by another 1000 points due to the virus pandemic... ...schools throughout Colorado will be closed until further notice... ...there are now 7,303 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Colorado with 290 deaths... ...Smarty-Mart is now instituting rationing for paper towels, toilet paper, and tissues, along with hand sanitizer and cold medicine...

Kim Possible sighed, looking at the depressing news on the TV. Even though she was the girl who can do anything, it was  beyond her comprehension to dealing with the sitch involving the coronavirus, something that wasn't machine-made by one of her rogue's gallery of villains in one of their world-domination plots. Although she, Ron, and Athena were deemed as 'essential workers' in their duties of saving the world by Colorado's governor, no villain on Kim's list has even attempted a world-domination plot because they required the use of henchpeople, which would be a violation of 'social gatherings' of more than 10 people. "Athena, can you please turn off the TV? It's bringing my mood down!" she insisted. The current 15-year old, in a blue shirt and jeans with her Kimmunicator pendant, was sitting on one end of the couch. “I'll have to switch it to a streaming service.” Athena was  sitting on the other end of the sofa. She was in a purple heart t-shirt and jeans. “I'll get it...” the teenaged cyborg said. She looked in the cushions.

“That is, if I can find it...” Kim tried her hand in finding the remote. However, it was nowhere to be seen in the couch. “Don't tell me the Tweebs have it!” Kim groaned. She knew what potential danger a mere TV remote would be in the hands of Jim and Tim.  Last time they did so, they caused a 12-hour long power outage in Middleton. “I'll ask your Dad...” Athena said while standing up from the couch. “Ask away.” Kim insisted, “Keep in mind, though, that Dad is busy doing the 2020 US Census.”

“Hey  Mr.Possible! Have you seen the remote?” she asked into the kitchen. “Yeah, it should be on the coffee table....I think..." James replied. "Now...do we count you in the census?" "Dad...you're a rocket scientist and Mom is a brain surgeon. You should probably know the answer!" Kim replied. "Then I would take that as a yes." James replied, marking down his answer. "Speaking of Mom, is she still at the hospital?" Kim asked. "Unfortunately, yes, she is, Kimmie-cub." James answered. "She has been working 14-hour shifts ever since this whole virus outbreak began. And I'm working from home as well due to the fact that one of the scientists at the space center tested positive for the virus."

Kim sighed, "I can't be cooped up in here!" "Doesn't Middleton High have that e-learning thing up?" Athena questioned. "They do, yes." Kim said, "But some students in the district don't have access to a computer."

"Have you two seen Ronald?" James asked, sniffing the air. "He's coming over here to the house." Kim replied, "Said something about getting a few things from Smarty-Mart." "How can he? Did you even see the scenes of empty shelves?" Athena asked in disbelief. "I don't get him sometimes, Athena." Kim said before hearing a knock on the door. "Can you get that, Kim? It's probably Ron." Athena replied. Kim got up from the couch and wondered. "How did you know?" She opened the door and saw Ron clad, head to toe, in a HAZMAT suit with disinfectant spray in two gun holsters. He was also holding a duffel bag. "Ron...what are you doing?" Kim groaned. "KP, I'm doing what I have to do to protect my friends!" Ron exclaimed as he took a couple of cans of disinfectant spray from the holsters to begin spraying the Possible house. "I do not want the death virus to kill the ones I treasure the most." Kim began to cough. "Ron...you don't have to go that far! All we have to do is follow the CDC reccomendations and we should be fine!" she insisted.

"What about Nana, though?" Ron countered, "At her age, the virus would be more problematic!" "It's no big, Ron! We can still chat with her!" Kim said, dismissing his concern. "How?" Ron asked. "Duh! We live in the year 2020, Ron! Video chat!" Kim sighed. "Oh right!!" Ron said, realizing the technology. "I almost forgot about that."

"Ronald..." James said as he entered into the living room. "...would you mind being watchful about the disinfectant spray?"

"Dad, it's just Ron being Ron." Kim replied. She then whispered, "You did stock up in the panic room, did you?"

He whispered back, "We did. We bought at least 50 rolls of toilet paper and 20 rolls of paper towels. As long as we don't run out of supplies, we should be fine." "Ron...lose the HAZMAT suit..." Kim insisted. "Why don't you come and sit with us so that we can stream some movies together? It'll take our minds off this thing for at least a few hours."

Thankfully, Kim made Ron take off the suit, but not before he sprayed every square inch of the Possible household with at least 30 cans of the disinfectant spray.

[lesilla]

The sparkle you need for the most glamorous parties: 

FANNY, a stiletto sandal in black silk satin with diamond shaped crystals. 

Discover more at http://bit.ly/15Fanny

[sharperthewriter]

The 15th Annual Kim Possible Fannies - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Evil Self-Isolation "Shego...this isn't fair!" "What are you whining about this time, Dr. D?" Shego recognized the complaining from her boss, whom thankfully was now back to his normal adult state after being stuck as a kid for a solid four weeks following the 'Athena' incident. He had done about 15 schemes since then, but every single one of them had been foiled by Team Possible prior to COVID-19 hitting the world. Drakken moaned, "The government has restricted not just me, but also my fellow villains, from organizing any take-over-the-world schemes!" "And how, may I ask, did they do that?" Shego questioned. "Did they finally manage to stop you from obtaining parts for your lame inventions?"

"It is not that, Shego!" Drakken muttered, "The beer bug managed to singlehandedily wreak havoc on the economies of countries around the world, cancel sporting events, and made billions of peoples' lives miserable...before I EVEN have the chance to!!"

Shego smirked while filing her nails, "And come to think of it, Kim Possible and the dopey sidekick of hers..."

"...whose name still escapes me." Drakken interrupted. It has always been a problem of his to forget Ron's name in his schemes. "Would you please let me finish before you start blabbering, Dr. D?" Shego snarled. "Fine, Shego. What were you about to say?" Drakken asked, making sure that he won't get blasted by his assistant.

"As I was saying...those two twerps didn't even have to blow up one of your lairs this time around!" Shego continued. "Ah yes, that is the other thing that totally blows about the beer bug!" Drakken ranted, "It has really disrupted my ability to assemble the henchpeople since they are all working from home!!"

"And that stinks because...?" Shego questioned to what point her boss was getting to. "It has been a policy of Deviotix that any evil scheme by its members require a minimum of 30 henchpeople in order to be approved!" Drakken shouted. "And, unfortunately, the government classifies 'world-domination plots' as 'social gatherings'! So because of those insipid clowns, all evil schemes will be put on hold until the restrictions are lifted!"

"So what are you going to do, Dr. D, if you can't do any schemes?" Shego questioned. "Simple, Shego! I can fix up my inventions so that I won't have any glitches the next time I use them!" Drakken grinned. "Hopefully all of this will blow over in the next few weeks."

"Or if they blow up on you..." Shego muttered. Drakken groaned at his assistant. ________________________________________________________________________

Back at the Possible house, Ron had thankfully disinfected every single square inch. It took him 30 cans, but he did it. Then a drone with four cameras on the top hovered from upstairs. Athena looked above.

"Um, Kim, isn't that your brothers' drone?" she asked. Kim groaned, "Who else could it be, Athena? That's what happens when you have a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon as parents!"

Jim and Tim were both controlling the drone from the second floor. "We want to see..." Jim began. And Tim finished, "...what you two are doing!"

"We're doing nothing right now! And don't make me bash your drone with a baseball bat!" Kim snarled at her younger brothers. "Fine..." the two said in unison as their drone hovered away. Ron came back into the living room with a bag of chips. "So what can we do now that we're under quarantine?" he asked. "Maybe stream some movies until it lifts?" Athena replied. "Ron, you don't know how long this thing will last!" Kim countered. "It could last for a couple of years for all we know!"

"Come on, KP! We have like a whole boatload of movies to go through! We can easily be entertained!" Ron replied with his hand on the remote. "Alright, Ron!" Kim replied with a smile. "Which movie do you want to go with first?"

"Duh! The Bricks of Fury Series!" Ron said. "I was going to go with the Notepad but martial arts can suffice!" Kim said as she sat down on the couch. So, Team Possible went to stream The Mortar Dojo, the first movie in the series.