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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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15 Important Life Skills Kids Should Be Taught By The Time Theyre 15

As parents, caregivers, and teachers, it’s only natural that we want to protect and help our children in order to make their experiences in life as painless and enjoyable as possible. Whether they’re 5 months, 5 years, or 15 years old, we want to spare our precious little people from hurt and protect them from difficulties we may have experienced at their age.

Yes, we have the very best of intentions, but when we over-parent, we leave our kids unready for the world and life as adults. If you shelter your child up until they move out into their own apartment or college dorm, they will end up bewildered out in the real world… so it is extremely important that we teach our children the skills to grow into strong, respectful, self-reliant, and successful adults.

Not sure where to start? Here are 15 life skills I taught my own son by the time he turned 15:

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1. Basic financial management

Start with the simple and very necessary skill of budgeting and making personal financial decisions. Once your child is old enough to earn an allowance, theyre old enough to begin picking up financial skills. This is a good time to teach them to wait before they buy something and to know the difference between wants and needs. Teach them to comparison shop when youre at the store or shopping online together. Teens can start learning about building credit and investing in a Roth IRA from summer jobs.

2. Wake themselves up on time

A child entering high school should be able to wake themselves up, get washed, and dressed in clean clothes — on time. I admit, I’m guilty of being my son’s alarm clock, but after several weeks of rushing breakfast and being late for his classes, I put my foot down when I realized all I was teaching him was, “I’ll always be here to wake you up, have food ready for you, and get you in class on time no matter what.” Maybe it was OK when he was 7, but 15? Let alone 18? Nope.

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3. Taking care of another life

Being responsible for a pet is a wonderful way to teach children how to respect, value, and care for another life. But before leaving a child responsible for animals such as a cat or a dog, it’s a good idea to start smaller like with a goldfish or gerbil. Younger children can begin learning this responsibility by taking care of small plants and regularly watering and re-potting when necessary. Learning to get along with and look out for siblings and friends will help your child grow in this area as well!

4. Personal communication skills

Our children currently live in a world of silent communication. Complete conversations take place over text, email, social media posts, etc., so it’s up to us to verbally engage and connect with our kids. Encourage them to practice personal communication skills with friends from school, employees at the supermarket, kids from their extracurricular activities, and others with whom they see in real life.” Teach them to effectively and respectfully articulate their thoughts and feelings and encourage them to practice painting a clear picture of what they are trying to communicate.

5. Advocate for themselves

Kids need to know that they have the right to let their voices be heard, but in the right way. Teach your child how to have a conversation with an authority figure and to advocate for themselves. For example, if they disagree with a grade received at school, encourage them to speak to their teacher respectfully and ask for clarification or a chance to make corrections. Let them know you have confidence in their abilities and offer to practice the conversation with them.

It is also critical to prepare your child to really listen to what the other person says and understand they may not get the outcome they want. This will help teach them that even though not everything in life will always go their way, they can use the information gained from this direct exchange to increase theire chances of success in the future — an important ingredient in strengthening their coping and recovery skills.

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6. Emotional awareness/intelligence

Teaching your child to understand and manage their emotions, stress, and anxiety is a very necessary skill (many adults lack this). Encouraging your child to accept her emotions including anger, sadness, disappointment, and frustration as normal, will help her respond to these feelings in a healthier, more effective and confident manner. This skill can very well prevent her from breaking down at the first sign of negative feelings because she will be empowered with the understanding that not feeling happy does not always mean there is something wrong with her and feeling sad isn’t a sign of weakness.

7. Take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions

With finger pointing and victim mentality becoming more common, it is important to help kids understand that they have the power to choose and the responsibility to own up to their own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is just as important to teach children that they are not responsible for another person’s thoughts and actions, and how to set and maintain their personal boundaries.

8. Digital etiquette

We must teach our children internet kindness, selfie regulation, and the dangers of social over sharing and bullying. Help our kids understand that even though communication from behind a computer of smart-phone screen may feel impersonal, they must strive to treat everyone — including themselves — with respect. Respect for others results in kindness. Respect for oneself results in self-worth.

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9. Basics of cooking & doing laundry

High school age children should be able to prepare simple meals and feed themselves if necessary. Soups, pastas, omelettes, salads, and sandwiches are some examples of simple meals that can be prepared quickly. If you get hit with the flu and don’t have the strength to drag yourself out of bed, you want to know your 15 year old can make breakfast, pack his lunch, and/or make dinner (and hopefully prepare something yummy for you too)!

As for laundry, I don’t mind doing my son’s wash, but like the example above, if I’m sick in bed and he urgently needs something washed for the next day, 15 is a mighty good age to take care of that himself. Even your five year old can begin helping with the laundry by folding towels and putting their own clothes away until they’re old enough to do their own wash.

10. Pitch in

Teach your child how to contribute for the betterment of the whole — whether it’s helping a sibling with their chores when they notice they’re having a rough day or donating clothes they no longer wear to charity. This helps them get out of the “all about me” mindset and appreciate and value what they can offer to improve and strengthen causes outside of themselves. Also a great lesson in kindness and empathy!

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11. Talk to strangers

We protect our children by teaching them not to talk to strangers. However, middle school children should be taught how to discern the suspicious strangers from “normal” everyday strangers to help keep them from being fearful of all people they do not know. For example, with you close-by, allow your child to ask a worker at the grocery store where an item can be found or instruct your child to go to the restaurant counter and ask for extra napkins. This will give them a feel for the type of people they can approach with questions and in case of emergencies.

Just for the record I still stand by the rule of, “Never open the door to strangers.” That one will never change.

12. Forgive and let go

Teach kids to resolve disagreements peacefully by keeping a level head during arguments. Encourage your children to focus on the problem and not the person, to make it easier to control heated emotions.

It’s just as important to teach children to apologize when they are wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. There is no shame in asking for forgiveness and in forgiving others. In fact, apologizing and forgiving others takes courage!

And finally, children need to learn that whileforgiveness is an act of compassion, its also the key to set themselves free from pain caused by another person, and having the freedom to move forward in a more positive direction. After all, holding grudges only hurts the one holding it!

13. Show up and work

While showing up is the first step to reaching a goal, children must learn the importance of putting in the work to actually achieve the goal. Remember that unearned rewards set children up to expect a win just for showing up, resulting in entitlement.

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14. Time management

Learning how to stay organized, on task, and productive is something everyone will need. Knowing how to effectively manage your time will also help prevent unnecessary stress and anxiety while helping boost self confidence and the feeling of accomplishment. Kids need to master this early so they dont suffer the consequences as adults.

15. Identify and solve problems

Teach children that while life isnt always easy, they have the knowledge, skills, resources, and support to get them through anything. Show them that mistakes and failures are not absolute, and there is always another way to succeed as long as they keep learning, improving, and trying. When children learn to be proactive in finding a solution, it will help prevent them from falling into victim mentality and greatly increase self confidence!

For more fromCarmen Sakurai, visit her blogNinja Mom Diariesand herFacebookpage.

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#15 Important Life Skills Kids Should Be Taught By The Time Theyre 15

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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If I hadnt met Michelle Obama, I might not be where I am today

The first ladys campaigning on education took her all over the world. Here, some of those she met over the years recall her golden touch

Isha Sesay

A presenter and correspondent for CNN International. She travelled with Michelle Obama in Liberia and Morocco last year for the making of the CNN documentary We Will Rise: Michelle Obamas Mission to Educate Girls Around the World

It will be a strange and sad moment for me, a woman of colour, when Michelle Obama leaves the White House. To lose the imagery of a black first family and all that Michelle Obama has bought to the table, all she has actively and routinely worked for. Ive been in the States now for 11 years now but every time they stepped out as the first family it got me. It never lost its potency. She is such an active and participatory first lady. No one knows what kind of first lady Melania Trump will be. No one is saying she wont carve her own path, but Michelle Obama was very special.

I first met her in 2014 when I was invited to the White House to attend a formal dinner for a US/Africa summit. All the heads of state from Africa came to DC along with their first ladies and I was asked to moderate a panel for Mrs Obama and Mrs Bush at the Kennedy Centre. Later an invite came to the formal dinner, which was thrilling. At the White House you wait in line to be introduced and when I got to Mrs Obama she said I almost wore that same dress tonight! And I say No! and she says Yes! and she gave me the biggest hug. She was just amazing, very tall, very warm, she just scooped me up into this big hug the very first time I met her.

The Obamas celebrate people of colour, they want to include them. Both she and the president are skilled at knowing what they can achieve by aligning themselves with other successful people of colour, how it amplifies the message of what is possible. I think they almost do it as a public service. They understand that every time they have Beyonc with them, or John Legend or Jay Z, the message goes further and it opens the minds of kids in the inner cities to the possibilities and I think thats smart.

CNN discussed various projects with the White House and then settled on the first lady going to Africa, for her last overseas trip. [In the documentary Michelle Obama, along with Sesay and actors Freida Pinto and Meryl Streep, meets and speaks with young north African women who describe their struggles to get an education.] I got an email asking how I would feel about travelling to Africa with the first lady and practically had to pick myself up off the floor.

When we were in Liberia I kept watching how she was trying to connect with the girls who spoke, really watching them and willing them on as they struggled in some cases. It was very moving because she really wanted them to feel safe and able to share. Before we arrived I asked the White House about the protocol for the girls who would meet her. How should they address her? Could they touch her? I was able to tell them that from the White House point of view, once youre in the bubble so to speak [through security], once you are in the room with her, youre good. So the girls could touch her, refer to her freely, there were no restrictions placed on interactions with her at all.

We went to hear her talk at the Peace Corps [the US governments volunteer programme] in Monrovia and she just walked into that space and practically blew the roof off with her energy levels. I will say, and Im 41, that whenever Im with her and I listen to her speak you walk out and you are charged by being in her presence, by hearing her words of motivation. Its not just the words she utters, its her conviction and its her life story that backs them up. In Morocco I saw how willing she was to share her own insecurities, her own challenges with the girls. She said to them: Were all girls here together. Were all going to share. How many first ladies in the world can you imagine just busting in and saying: This is girl-talk time? And it resonates authentically. I think maybe thats the difference. Other people say it but she means it.

I last saw her for a special screening of the film at the White House. She was really mischievous. I told her that in Morocco I had been in the souk late at night and as I was wandering around a guy asked me: Are you an Obama? and I looked left and I looked right and I said: Yes, I am! and she roared with laughter. And then she walked into the east room and was doing her intro for everyone, welcoming Meryl Street and Andra Day who did the song [Rise Up] and then it got to me and she said: And by the way, Isha here has been passing herself off as… I almost died.

I am not surprised by her popularity at all. Not now that Ive met her on a couple of occasions. I understand it and I think if more people had the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with her there would be more people clamouring for her to run, because she is that amazing. I mean when she gave that speech during campaigning, when she just laid out her heart and said how offended she was by the Trump video, and the speech she gave during the conventions. I think those speeches really elevated her. I wouldnt want her to stand though. I think shell be far more effective outside the machinery of government. Look at what Hillary Clinton went through and the double standards that were forced upon her. Now imagine what would happen to a black woman the intersection between gender and race is just a whole other ballgame.

I asked her while we were working in Liberia: What will your post-White House years look like? and she said: This. This is what shes committed to doing lifting up girls and ripping off the roof and removing all the limitations girls feel and others impose on them and expanding their horizons. I hope thats what shes able to do. Its what shes good at and she can make such a difference.

Isha Sesay is the founder of WE Can Lead, a non-profit organisation working in Sierra Leone to educate and empower girls.

Tamanna Islam

A 15-year-old student at Mulberry school in east London. After visiting the school in June 2015, Michelle Obama later invited a group of students, including Tamanna, to the White House in November that year

Before she came, there was such a buzz. I was in the main school hall with 300 other students. Everyone was quiet, everyone eagerly awaiting her arrival. When she walked on to the stage, we jumped to our feet clapping, shouting, crying. She brought this incredible vibe and the atmosphere was just electric.

Throughout her speech she made eye contact with everyone, and gave these little smiles. It made it feel so personal, like she was just talking to you. And then, at the end, she hugged every pupil in the front row, including me! She pulled me close, looked me in the eye and told me: Im so proud of you.

I was one of the 20 students selected by my teachers to travel to the White House in Washington DC. When we met her again, she recollected every single detail from her visit: how special it was to see us waving the American flag, how moved she was by our performance of Still I Rise [the Maya Angelou poem]. It was nerve-racking going through all of the security, but once we were inside, Michelle made us feel like we were visiting a friend. In addition to meeting her, we were introduced to lots of senior women working at the White House, such as in the justice and crime department. It was so inspiring and enlightening to see so many women and people from ethnic-minority backgrounds in positions of power.

Michelle Obama understands what it is like to be a young Muslim woman in Tower Hamlets. Your story is my story, she told our school. Growing up in a working-class environment in Chicago, she faced her own sort of unfairness, but she worked hard and showed the world that she could do anything. And if girls like us can raise our aspirations, it shows the rest of Britain, the rest of the world, that we can do anything.

Since meeting her, Ive started to seek out what I can do to make a positive change in my community. She taught me I have a responsibility to use my voice to break down negative stereotypes of Muslim women, and make change for the next generation after that. Her charisma, her energy it makes you feel like you can take on the entire world.

Dr Vanessa Ogden

Headteacher, Mulberry school

We had been approached by the American embassy a couple of months prior about the possibility of helping to launch a project on girls and education, but had no idea that Michelle Obama was involved in any way. Over about a two-month period, it became apparent that we were one of the top two institutions they were looking at and I still had no idea who was fronting the launch. We eventually found out about the visit in May 2015, and had just three weeks to get ready for her arrival in June! I learned a lot in those weeks about how to manage high-level security. One of my favourite, and most surreal, moments was standing in a school conference room, debating with special ops and secret service officers about how to manage the security in a working school environment. Of course I was nervous I had a responsibility to make things as good as they could be, and it was a very high-adrenaline time. But more than anything I just felt hugely appreciative, so grateful for what this could bring to the school.

For me, the most important aspect of the first ladys visit was making sure that every girl at Mulberry should have some kind of interaction with her, whether it was watching her speech, presenting gifts or performing a song. The whole thing, from start to finish, was for the girls. It wasnt about Mrs Obama, it wasnt about the other important people there, it was absolutely for the girls.

Thats the thing about the first lady she has no ego. These visits for her are completely non-hierarchical. Theyre about the person shes meeting, the people shes addressing. She connects with people because of who they are not because of who she is.

For example: one of the things that made the planning so complex was that we arranged to live-stream Michelles speech into the sports hall, so that every girl who couldnt fit in the main hall could experience it at the same time. It was Michelles idea to go and surprise all the girls gathered in the sports hall at the end of the speech. Thats what makes her so special she thinks so carefully and prepares so well for each visit. They had no idea she was coming, and when they saw her, they went absolutely wild.

We visited the White House in November, as part of a 10-day cultural trip to the US. Students underwent a rigorous selection process to take part, which involved attending an after-school civil rights programme, a written application, making a speech in front of a panel of teachers and finally being interviewed by myself and the governors.

After a tour of the west wing and a cuddle (and a selfie) with Bo [the Obamas pet dog], the girls sat down and asked Michelle questions, all of them quite serious. At the end, Michelle leaned forward and said, eyes glittering: Now come on. Lets talk about the things you want to know. For 15 minutes the girls and Mrs Obama chatted on a personal level, as girls and women do every day. Im afraid we made a pact to keep our discussion secret, so I cant reveal if Barack Obama does the chores.

Myesha Haque

A 17-year-old student and aspiring lawyer, who hosted the first lady when she visited Mulberry school

I couldnt believe she was there at first. I had to keep blinking and blinking. Out of all the schools in the UK, all the schools in London, she chose to come to Mulberry, our school! As deputy head prefect, I had been given the responsibility to host the first lady. Because of this, I found out about her visit earlier than any of the other students, which was so hard to keep secret. After taking photos next to the American flag, we began our tour of the school. Even just walking beside her, I was star-struck by her charisma and charm.

Walking into the main Mulberry courtyard with her was an absolutely awe-inspiring moment. The flags were waving, there was cheering, there was clapping. Four hundred students all trying to get a glimpse of her. As she met people, her eyes lit up. Her face, her body language was so uplifting you could just see how happy she was. We walked on to our Year 9 project area, where our choir, conducted by a Year 9 pupil, sang Something Inside So Strong and another student read the poem Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. While the girls were performing the First Lady hugged me to her side and murmured to me, I cannot believe this. This is amazing. I was nervous, but that warmth really comforted me. She felt like a friend, even though shes in high power. That hug was an experience Ill never forget, one Ill cherish for a lifetime.

Her story, of growing up in a working-class environment in Chicago, has made me realise I can all overcome all barriers and challenges in my life, that I can achieve anything. Weve been inspired as Mulberry students to carry on her Let Girls Learn campaign, even after she stops being first lady. Mulberry and Michelle were besties now. Were linked for life.

Ronald Ligon

A 19-year-old graduate of Harper high school, Chicago, and a member of the US military. He met Michelle Obama when she visited his school in April 2013, and was invited to the White House in June that year

All I said was that my favourite food was french fries. But that was enough to make her face split into a big smile and laugh: Thats my favourite too! She got up and hugged me just because I get the same satisfaction from french fries. It was too funny. I just felt like awh, oh my God, this is wonderful.

The first lady came to my school nearly four years ago. She sat down with a group of about 20 of us and asked us questions about our lives, about what its like to grow up in the south side [of Chicago]. For someone that has so much power, she cancelled all of that out. She told us to relax, slouch if we wanted to, make ourselves at home. Im a regular person trying to make a change, just like you are, she said. We didnt have to use big words or act proper to get through to her, we could just be ourselves.

For about three hours we talked to her about the violence in our communities. She wasnt surprised she grew up in Englewood [Chicago] and lived through a bunch of shootings around her house but she was hurt that we have to go through it every single day.

Honestly, If I hadnt met Michelle Obama, I might not be where I am today. Pretty much two weeks after I returned after visiting the first lady in the White House, my family got into a big fight with other people in my community. We ended up losing our home, and for about four to five months we were homeless. The first couple of months I was really low. I didnt want to go to school, I didnt want to do anything. I had no hope.

But then one day I came back to find my mom on the couch crying, saying that she couldnt provide for us, that she had failed our family. It hurt so bad to see her so sad. I remembered, then, how Michelle had told me that no matter what hardships you have, theres always a strong possibility you can overcome them. Looking at my mom sitting there crying, I decided to step up. I got back into school and I got a job working eight hours a day, seven days a week. I got enough money to fix things for my mom and get the house were living in now. I graduated from school and I enrolled in the military. I got back on track because of the first ladys words, because of the honesty and trust that she put in me. I try not to remind myself too much about those times, but whenever Im in a deep situation I always look back on that moment.

Im still not over how Donald Trump won and how were going to lose both the first lady and Barack Obama as well. Im so happy I got to meet her in person, twice, but Im really going to miss them.

Fouzya Toukart

She met Michelle Obama in Morocco in June 2016 as part of her Let Girls Learn initiative and the CNN film We Will Rise

Im the first girl in the family to get a baccalaureate and the first girl in the village to get a BA. I come from an illiterate family: my parents are farmers in the village, they are poor people. Getting an education was like a war for me it felt like everyone was against me. The mentalities in my village are all the same: girls have to marry and have kids and stay home and cook, like machines, and thats it.

In primary school I was top of my class but my family decided I would not go to secondary school. It was really hard for me, but I went on a hunger strike when I was 12 and I convinced them to let me go. The secondary school was very far, seven kilometres each way, and I was the only girl. In the beginning my parents were not convinced, but after I kept getting the highest grades, I could see in their faces that they were satisfied and proud. I got a BA in English in Marrakesh, and my goal is to get a doctorate and be a translator and linguist I speak Amazigh, Arabic, French, English and Japanese.

I met Michelle Obama in Marrakech in June, just when I was doing my final exam, and meeting her was like a push for continuing. The thing I remember most is that she saw me and said: Yes, I read a lot about you and I remember you that was really awesome. I also met Meryl Streep and Freida Pinto, and they were very kind-hearted and friendly too. Later I had a week in Washington DC it was my first time flying anywhere and met Michelle Obama again there. They say Washington gets busy and loud, but it was super fun.

Michelle Obama has helped so many people, and shes always been the person who fights for something which is very good for our society. With education were going to find solutions for so many problems in life. My message for all the girls around the world who dont have the opportunity to go and study, I just want to tell them that if I can do it, they can do it too, whatever the boundaries they can be overcome.

Cindy Sanders

A counsellor at King college prep in Chicago. Fifteenyear-old schoolgirl Hadiya Pendleton, who attended King, was shot and killed in 2013

I met Michelle Obama during Hadiyas funeral. She felt compelled to come to Chicago and pay her respects to Cleopatra and Nate [Pendleton, Hadiyas parents], not necessarily as the first lady but as a mom, to support another mother who had lost her child. It was very moving that she would put all of her stuff on hold for the funeral. Two years later she spoke at the graduation of the class that Hadiya would have graduated in. It was a bittersweet graduation because of this, but everybody was excited, because weve never had a speaker of this calibre. The students will remember that for ever, that Michelle Obama was the graduation speaker for their class. She talked about how she came from just this community, and how the students have so many options, and that anything is possible with an education. We all got to take photos with her and talk to her. She congratulated us, and thanked us for doing a great job with the students.

Having a first lady from the south side of Chicago means everything. Shes like the peoples first lady, and shes definitely Chicagos first lady. She was very personable: she was giving hugs, she was giving motivation. And not just surface motivation; it was because she had been in a Chicago public school. And to see what she accomplished, having a similar background and a similar upbringing it was powerful. Its very inspiring to see that with hard work and determination you can be anything.

In Chicago the whole issue of gun control is so polarised: people are getting killed by guns, and we need to do something about this. We dont want parents losing their teenage children. I have a teenager too in the city of Chicago and so we definitely need to speak up on that. And when you have the first lady championing causes it definitely puts some weight with it.

Ill miss her being in that office, but the good thing is shes still going to champion those causes shes still going to care about helping children reach higher, and having counsellors support them. Shes tough but shes also down to earth. And well miss her putting on her jeans and being on Ellen and challenging her to dance-offs.

Kyra Caldwell

A 19-year-old former student at King college prep and friend of Hadiya Pendleton

When my friend Hadiya passed, Michelle Obama ended up coming to the funeral. They had a few people in a separate room before the funeral started, and she came in went around and shook our hands. I was with a friend and we were so nervous we were about to shake hands with Michelle Obama, the first African American to be first lady in the White House. She came over and gave us both hugs, and gave us words of encouragement. The fact that she hugged me was just crazy to me. Usually youd think people who are famous would act fake, but she was the complete opposite when I spoke to her it was very calm and normal, very natural. She also came to speak at our graduation and gave a really motivational speech, which was really exciting.

Our school had done this FAFSA challenge [a video for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid]: it was Scandal-themed [after the US TV political drama series] and we sent it in to Michelle Obama. She then sent it to the cast of Scandal and got them to make a video telling us how good our video was. So you had [characters] Olivia Pope and Huck and Abby saying we did a good FAFSA challenge thats something Ill always remember.

Its very reassuring that shes another woman of colour from the south side of Chicago. I feel like once youre born and raised here you always have a connection to it, wherever you go. She went to the same high school as my mother, so it makes it seem more real: anybody can go anywhere, no matter where youre from. I also attended Tuskegee University in Alabama, and I found out that she had also spoken at a graduation there, so I was thinking: Is this a sign that Im going to be the first lady next time?

When I think of Michelle Obama, reassuring is the word I think of. Shes brilliant she went to two Ivy League schools [Princeton and Harvard Law School] and has done all these great things. Its definitely something to look up to. Im now studying occupational therapy, and after this the plan is to go to a really good physical therapy school so I can get my doctorate. Michelle said we can do anything, so I believe it.