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callunavulgari · 3 years ago

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Scrapbook 2021 | Part II

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books (as of today, i am at 31 books, which sounds not great but goodreads assures me that it’s only 1 book behind schedule), finish five video games (at two at the moment... mostly because I keep dragging my feet on actually finishing P5R), write more than 20 fics (at... 6) or something larger than 20k (negative), and write either an original short story or start a novel (i have started plotting for the novel? does that count?)

Past Years

MOVIES

May

Mortal Kombat

(SW: The Phantom Menace)

(SW: Attack of the Clones)

(SW: Revenge of the Sith)

(SW: Rogue One)

(SW: A New Hope)

SW: Clone Wars

Enola

Wonder Woman 1984

Dark Phoenix

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

June

(Princess Mononoke)

Sailor Moon: Eternal

In The Heights

Wish Dragon

July

Luca

(Thor: Ragnarok)

(Doctor Strange)

(Guardians of the Galaxy)

Black Widow

Space Jam 2 Electric Boogaloo

August

The Green Knight

Godzilla vs Kong

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

BOOKS

May

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig [Fin]

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within | Becky Chambers [Fin]

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott

People We Meet On Vacation | Emily Henry [Fin]

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren [Fin]

June

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott [Fin]

September Love | Lang Leav [Fin]

One Last Stop | Casey McQuiston [Fin]

The Chosen and the Beautiful | Nghi Vo [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 2 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

For the Wolf | Hannah Whitten [Fin]

The Sandman | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater

July

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

TAZ: The Crystal Kingdom | The Mcelroys [Fin]

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav

August

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan [Fin]

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 3 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 4 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

May

The Penumbra Podcast, s3-END

June

The Magnus Archive - Fear Winners 1 & 2

July

Gods of Appalachia, Eps 1-6

(Wolf 359)

Janus Descending

August

(Wolf 359)

Mabel

(Zero Hours, ep 7)

Time:Bombs

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

May

Watcher Entertainment, Are You Scared?

Castlevania, s3, s4 [Fin]

Word of Honor [Fin]

Buzzfeed: Kelsey in Control?

Demon Slayer, s1

June

Demon Slayer, s1 [Fin]

Kim’s Convenience, s4

Leverage, s5 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3

Loki, s1

Lucifer, s2, s3, s4

Trese, s1

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, s3, s6?)

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s1)

Sweet Tooth, s1

Love, Death & Robots

July

Loki, s1 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3 [Fin]

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Shark Week

Lucifer, s5

Masters of the Universe: Revelation

August

The Owl House, s2

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Watcher Weekly+

Buzzfeed: Ruining History

Star Trek Discovery, s1, s2, s3

What If..., s1

VIDEO GAMES

May

Monster Hunter Rise, 12 hours

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, 25 hours

Pokemon Go

June

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, ? hours

Pokemon Go

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, ??? Hours

Persona 5 Royal, ??? hours

July

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

August

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

Ori and the Blind Forest [Fin]

DELIGHTFUL FIC

May

The word is help. by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 9k | In a flash, Fett has his blaster out and pointed at Luke’s head. “You’re right,” he says. “Turnabout’s fair play. So maybe I oughta shoot you.”

Don’t be afraid. by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 12k | “Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”

who carried the hill by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 22k | Din’s about to head up the ramp onto the newly-repaired Razor Crest when a string pulls taut around his heart and yanks him into the sky.

Tapestry by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 8k | In March, Obi-Wan drags Anakin to another faculty party, where Anakin gets all sorts of wrong ideas about Quinlan Vos and decides to fellate Obi-Wan in a coat closet about it.

wonderterror by peradi | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 6k | Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force.He’s half human and half something monumental.What does that make his children?

Xen Gardens by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan & Shane | 1k | Shane Madej saves the day.A strange man comes to congratulate him.

A Series of Better Decisions by SassySnowperson | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 9k | "Kill him. Kill him now!" Chancellor Palpatine hissed, as Anakin held the two blades against Dooku's neck. "No," Anakin said. "It's not the Jedi way."

Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama | Star Wars | Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan | 60k | Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.

Comfort in Wartime by Rosbridge | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 4k | Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

spark me up, i'm a firework (i'll burst into light) by coffeeinallcaps | FATWS | Bucky/Sam | 7k | "You know how the super-soldier serum makes everything, well, super? I guess you could say that's what happened to my sex drive."

Thaw by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 6k | That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

Christ in Repose by spqr | Din/Luke | 8k | More on this story as it develops. Subscribe to HNN’s JEDI WATCH newsletter for instant updates on Jedi sightings throughout the galaxy.

Insufferable by perkynurples | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Wen Kexing asks a question. Zhou Zishu only hesitates to answer for a little while.

parasitic, parasocial by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 45k | Xue Yang stumbles upon the channel of Fuxue, a popular videogame streamer, and immediately becomes completely and utterly obsessed with him. Unfortunately, Fuxue has a boyfriend -- but that's fine: Xue Yang loves a challenge.

Aaron Burr has Hamilton's RSI and he isn't pleased about it. by DragonBandit | Hamilton | Hamilton/Aaron Burr | 3k | Aaron knows 2 things about his soulmate: The first is that they're angry about everything. The second is that they need to fucking sleep.

dinluke lawyer au by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 31k | At 1:18 a.m., just when Luke is starting to think he might’ve gotten away with something, Biggs Darklighter shows up on the other side of his desk and says, “I can’t believe you called in sick to get shotgun married to a Mando.”

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | Lord of the Rings | Gimli/Legolas | 90k+ | Legolas meets Gimli for lunch - unfortunately, he meets someone else, too.

a jackal; a thief by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Ye Baiyi | 11k | This is not the first time Wen Kexing’s body has been poisoned like this.

you're the trouble that i always find by sundiscus | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 27k | “Do you know him?” Jin Wang asks.The ringing in Zhou Zishu's ears gets louder. “No, Wangye,” he says.At Zhou Zishu’s voice, the prisoner freezes.

vampire!wwx threadfic by sundiscus | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | ??? words | in which vampires exist in a modern cultivation au, lwj is investigating a string of strange deaths, and wwx is a vampire he can’t seem to kill.

Velle by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | LotR | Gimli/Legolas | 29k | Velle (Latin): to want.

June

May All My Wounds Be Mortal by hansbekhart | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 10k | Peeled out of his many robes, Wen Kexing’s body reveals itself to be mostly leg. He strips eagerly, grinning up at Zhou Zishu as if this is another joke between them. See? Wen Kexing’s body seems to say, I have no secrets from you.

drop by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 4k | Xue Yang has had this dream before.

Splenda by Tierfal | FMA | Ed/Roy | 19k | WIP | A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.

From the Ashes by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 3k | “This doesn’t need to leave this room,” Ryan had said that first time. “Casual is my middle name.”

Whale Songs by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 2k | It could be humming, he thinks. Some distant angelic humming. What it’s humming about, he’d have to find out the hard way. All he can hear in his mind’s ear is come closer. There’s so much more in the depths than you’ve ever known.

A Good Bargain by Neery | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 11k | The Window of Heaven captures the Ghost Valley's master. Zhou Zishu is put in charge of interrogating him.

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 13k | Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

the agony and the irony by arostine | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 44k | WIP | Ryan has a lot on his plate right now. He’s one of three members of his species employed at BuzzFeed, and the only male omega, and his boss keeps asking him to do videos about being an iterant ‘to educate the humans,’ when what he really wants to do is videos about ghosts.

the rest of your life by bestliars | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 30k | MYSTERY DISAPPEARANCE IN THE MIDWEST! The year is 2034. Successful video producer Ryan Bergara uproots his whole life to take care of his friend’s children.

sit in my circle and hold my hand by soda_coded | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 14k | Ryan and Shane work for the metaphysical department of the LAPD, fool around and get cursed.

Idle Hands (Do the Devil's Work) by ma_malice | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | In which the only upside to being a demon stuck in a seasonal Chicago snowstorm is the ability to abandon your body and possess your boyfriend in LA.

Shell Game by Giddygeek | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 20k | Or, Quentin can’t believe he never thought to ask if there was a magical time in Fillory when people swapped bodies with the last person they slept with.

Contention by hollybennett123 | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 3k | The Zhou Zishu of ten minutes ago, who first agreed to the whole thing — the evening’s conversation and general bickering over drinks taking an unexpectedly filthy turn — had been thinking only about the imminent pounding on offer and not, well, everything else that might come with it.

Necrocafé by etothey | Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon/Harrow | 2k | Harrowhark Nonagesimus isn't sure which confounds her more: the new boxes of bones she is to animate, or the hot redheaded courier who brings the boxes.

simple man by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius, Loki/Loki | 6k | “Tell you what,” says Mobius, shortly after the Timekeepers have sentenced Loki to death, “why don’t I take care of this?”

(Un)disclosed desires by Springandastorm | Loki | Loki/Mobius | "That's not how I see you at all, Loki." Mobius said, unexpectedly earnest. "We all play roles sometimes."

sources of light by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Zhou Zishu makes a difficult choice in order to save Wen Kexing's life. The morning after is not an easy one.

warm company, cold nights by janonny | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 23k | He gave Zhou Zishu a lingering look from beneath his lashes. “Your virtuous wife will accompany you of course.”

July

the potential of broken things by icarusinflight | Harry Potter | Drarry | 11k | "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place."

little beast by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Payback's a bitch.

you, undeniable you by returnsandreturns | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake/Amy | 1k | “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jake asks, for the fourth time. “Because we can just ditch that thing, toss it out a window, do it missionary like the founding fathers intended.”

Car Talk by drunkbedelia | Loki | Mobius/Loki | 1k | ‘When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki,' Sylvie said.

one too many by sarcasticfishes | Watcher | Ryan/Shane | 1k | “Stay here,” Ryan says, just casual enough, “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”

Tencent and Chill by quoth_the_ravenclaw | The Untamed | Nie Huaisang/Nie Mingjue | 2k | “Da-ge,” Huaisang whines, all for show, as much a performance as the actors on screen. He wiggles his toes. “My feet are so sore, you worked me too hard.”

The House at the End of the World by Hopetohell | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1k | What will they do, now that they can do anything?

moderate the middle by ElisAttack | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 9k | People only smiled with their eyes when it was real. Unless they were a Loki. No matter the differences between the variants, their tricky grins were a constant as much as they were indiscernible.

Lost and Sound by snack_size | Loki | Loki/Thor/Sylvie | 5k | “Sylvie, did you help my brother defeat the Time Police?”

push the button (and let me know) by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | “How about this?” hands folded on the table, he watches Loki intently. “If you tell me why, I’ll answer.”

We're (not) all villains here by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 19k | WIP | Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

what remains by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | “You’re no analyst.” Mobius sounds stunned. They are not aligned, they are not in tandem. But there are wistful glimmers of what is now agonisingly out of reach.

worth a shot by thereyoflight | Loki | Loki/Sylvie | 2k | When Loki and Sylvie are moments away from being cornered on the train in Lamentis, they resort to desperate measures.

Bug Problems by xorabbit | Marvel | Grandmaster/Loki | 7k | Loki ends up on Sakaar, of course, with just that many more schemes to scheme. However, the Grandmaster is not altogether too terrible--a bit of fine luck, for once--and perhaps it's all right to have a better-natured fling while one works out what's next.

our way, no takebacks by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 20k | "Nice speech," Sylvie drawls, but the sarcasm doesn't land.

August

Vennen min by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 12k | The day they let Mobius out of the infirmary, Loki gets assigned to a new handler. This, Mobius is pretty sure, is where the trouble starts.

new terms by dinosuns | Loki | President Loki/Mobius | 21k | For the first time in his life, Loki triumphs. How fitting then, for the end to swiftly barge in unannounced.

Icarus by Waako | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | When Mobius got pruned, he expected two different outcomes. Either eternal peace or eternal emptiness. He certainly didn’t expect a grey sky, ruins of old buildings looming over him, and a Loki variant watching him like he was a piece of fresh meat.

Stress Relief by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 3.5k | “Let me read you something,” Loki says. He rifles through the pages, clears his throat, and Mobius puts a hand over his eyes because he knows what’s coming before Loki even reads the first word—“Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō—“

just like the weather by sarcasticfishes | BFU | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 6k | “Y’know,” Ryan shrugs. “Friends have kids together sometimes. Like if a same-sex couple has a friend surrogate for them. Or sometimes people just co-parent.”

Woodash and iron and leather by iffervescent | The Witcher | 9k | Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Food of Love by tanktrilby | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 22k | I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

If The Morning Light Sets In by nagia | Castlevania | Sypha/Trevor/Alucard | 45k | Save the Belmonts, save the world.

halfway by ivelostmyspectacles | Castlevania | Sypha/Alucard/Trevor | 12k | Vampire attacks are happening again. Unprovoked, strange, humans and vampires dying alike. A disease. Alucard assures them that he isn't susceptible.

lonely lonely heart by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 7k | Mobius looks down at the paperwork, gets a sort of flustered farmboy look on his face, looks back up at Loki and says, “You offered to give a cop fellatio in the middle of Central Park.”

Bedrest by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen& Xue Yang | 3k | Xiao Xingchen's newest patient is causing him problems. He just won't stay put.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

May

Jesper Fahey | 99 Problems

Jesper Fahey | OLD TOWN ROAD

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

human | kaz brekker

bucky barnes || humble

The Mandalorian || Warriors

The Mandalorian | I'll See You Again

Hope is the light.

►Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing | Beautiful mess

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

versailles at night | alina & the darkling

look what you made me do | the darkling

Bucky Barnes | Rasputin

Obi-Wan || dirty work

Blood in the water [the Witcher]

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

Enola Holmes || Unstoppable

Shadow & Bone || Fire Meets Fate

Mo Dao Zu Shi Season 3 AMV/Trailer - Teeth

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

June

MARVEL || Rasputin

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

i dont enjoy hurting people | Loki [1x01]

loki laufeyson • unsteady [⚠ 1x01]

MARVEL || Levitating

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

Glitter & Gold | Jesper Fahey

Shadow and Bone | Levitating

wen kexing ✘ zhou zishu | put your lips on mine

Erik Lensherr - Magneto

The Crows || Circus

The Crows | Thrift Shop (Shadow & Bone)

Zemo & Bucky — RASPUTIN [tfatws]

Cruella | Feeling good

Percy Jackson || Watch Me

THE KILLING KIND || The Magnus Archives Animatic

LOKI || Glorious Purpose

The Darkling | Black Heretic

Sam x Bucky || Handclap [HUMOR]

Loki || Lovely

Doctor Strange || Dystopia

Loki & Sylvie || I’m not your friend

Loki || Hate Me

MARVEL || River

Loki & Bucky || Paint It Black

Wanda Maximoff || The Scarlet Witch (WandaVision)

Play With Fire || MARVEL || Loki Doctor Strange Scarlet Witch

MARVEL || Warriors

Loki || God of Mischief || You Do You

(Marvel) Loki | You Will Never Be A God

Marvel's Horror Cinematic Universe

community gardens || the magnus archives PMV

July

Thor || Rise

Loki & Sylvie - Demons in my head [ep.3]

//HUMANS// THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Loki | Lost

A Quiet Place

Loki & Sylvie || Strange Birds

Loki & Sylvie "I won't let you down" | (+1x05)

♚ Loki & Sylvie | If You Love Me (1x04)

Loki & Sylvie | If our love is wrong [Loki +1x04]

Loki and Mobius | Hold On [Loki +1x05]

loki laufeyson • in the end [+ 1x04]

Loki and Sylvie || Feeling Good

Marvel || Black Widow - Counting Stars || Natasha Romanoff

Cruella || Little Wicked

MARVEL || This is My Time || Shang-Chi Trailer Music

Sylvie | Unstoppable (Loki +1x03)

Loki and Sylvie (Lady Loki) || Play With Fire

Wanda and Vision || Dancing With Your Ghost

Wanda Maximoff and Loki || You Should See Me In A Crown

Loki and his Variants ⚔ King of Space [ep.5]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ This world is slowing down [ep.5]

Sylvie || Confident (+1x04)

•Loki x Sylvie ⱠΞⴼ King and Queens•

Loki - In The End | Marvel

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Out of Control [ep.4]

Loki & Mobius | Dynasty [LOKI/+1x04]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Love War [ep.6]

(Marvel) Loki | Glorious Purpose

(MARVEL) Loki | Chaos

Loki | In The End [+1X06]

Loki x Sylvie | Another Love

Loki & Sylvie | Arcade [ Loki +1x06]

MARVEL || The Assembled Universe (c/w ASTrix UI)

August

Natasha & Yelena || Do It Like A Dude

Black Widow || Smells Like Teen Spirit

MARVEL || Uptown Funk

MARVEL || 1 in a Million

MARVEL/DC || Dies Irae

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness TRAILER #1

MARVEL || Loki

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

May

The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

What’s So Funny ‘Bout - Sharon Van Etten

Levitating - Dua Lipa

The Underground - Meg Myers

You Won’t Find Me - Narrow Skies

Elixir of Life - Leah

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers

ERROR - Niki, Kradness

Runaway - AURORA

Butterfly Water - Pastelle

Close to the Sun - Porcelain Pill

Selkie-boy - The Lost Words

Good Riddance - Annapantsu

Die Anywhere Else - Julia Henderson

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Down - St Vincent

Word of Honor OST

Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

I’m Not That Girl - Kerry Ellis

Meant to be Yours - Ryan McCartan

Ex Wives - Six

Euphoria - BTS

Walls - Cher

96,000 - In the Heights

Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Ziti E Buoni - Maneskin

Shum - Go_A

Loco Loco - Hurricane

Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Glass Animals

The Horror and the Wild (whole album - The Amazing Devil

Chant - Hadestown

Titans - Major Lazer, Sia

Bones - Galantis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Le Nozze di Figaro - Hybrid

Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

Psycho - Post Malone

Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Close to Me - Ellie Goulding

And So It Went - The Pretty Reckless

help herself - bbno$

Fire For You - Cannons

Twist the Knife - Chromatics

He Said She Said - Chvrches

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Campus - Vampire Weekend

Your Power - Billie Eilish

Reach - Eternal Eclipse

1 Last Cigarette - The Band Camino

Insertion - Hans Zimmer

from the edge - fictionjunction

The Devil Is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

Meet Me In The Woods - Amarante

Fire - Saint Mesa

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

Appetite - Casey Edwards

All Things Devour - aeseaes

Throne - Saint Mesa

Witchcraft - Vian Izak

June

The Shrine / An Argument - Fleet Foxes

It’s Tricky - Run

Darjeeling - Barrie

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty

Picture Me Better - Weyes Blood

Loch Lomond - Mackenzi Tolk

Punta - Matzzy

Touch It Clean - DJ Raulito

Oh No - Kreepa

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Marina

Sofia - Askjell

The Boy - Shannon & the Clams

First Steps - Lena Raine

The Power of Balance Rearranged - Rush Garcia

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine

Paper Mache - Iris Lune

Catch Me If You Can - Desert Belle

Darkroom Double - Moon & Pollution

Serotonin - girl in red

In the Air Tonight - Natalie Taylor

When Your Heart Is a Stranger - Friends In Paris

Moon Effect - Sailor Moon Eternal OST

In A Black Out - Hamilton Leithauser

Forever - CHVRCHES

Way Less Sad - AJR

Helter Skelter - Detention

The Devil You Know - X Ambassadors

TVA - Natalie Holt

Honeybee-The Head and the Heart

Home All Summer - Anthony Ramos

In the Shadows - Amy Stroup

My Way - Lucifer Cast

In the Air Tonight - Jon Howard

The Beast - Old Caltone

The Beast - Delta Rae

Freak Like Me - Adina Howard

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Winds of Change - Scorpions

good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

If I Could See The World - Patsy Cline

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron

The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench

Bones - Wens

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat

How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES

July

Dark Moon - Bonnie Guitar

Free Smiles - Tia Ray

Sundown Blues - Joanna Levine

Citta Vuoto - Mina

If You Love Me - Brenda Lee

Very Full - Tom Hiddleston

Loki Green Theme - Natalie Holt

Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

The Wolves - Cyrus Reynolds

Cure For Me - Aurora

Theory of Light - Eternal Eclipse

Fate of the Clockmaker - Eternal Eclipse

Potential Breakup Son - Aly and AJ

transparent soul - travis barker

My Love Will Never DSie - AG, Claire Wyndham

Happy Together - King Princess

Atomise - Temple

Darkside - Oshins

Someone to Watch Over Me - Lucifer Cast

This is Ours - Peter Sivo

Love and War - Fleurie

Take Me To Church - MILCK

Devil I Know - Allie X

East of Eden - Zella Day

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

Losing My Religion - BELLSAINT

Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley

Dark Side - Blind Channel

Tanz Mit Mir - Faun

My Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Stuttering - Fefe Dobson

August

Monsters and Fairies - Savannah

Chosen - SVRCINA

IAN HA 3BYK - GO A

Freya - Verdandi

Sick on Seventh Strett - Sarah and the Safe Word

Tarah - Sae Sae Norris

Suspicion - Sherwood Roberts

Fjorgyn - Osi and the Jupiter

Fight to Make It Up - Takenobu

The Edge of Dawn - Rozen

Innocence - Cannon Diviision

A Stray Child - .Hack//Sign

The Kiss - Luigi Rubino

Any Kind of Dead Person - Ghost Quartet

The Great Unknown - Dominique Gilbert

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

over the rainbow - misterwives

Fireflies - Cullen Vance

My mother Told Me - Nati Dreddd

Athetosis - Crywolf

Major Tom - Shiny Toy Guns

Novacaine - 10 Years

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

NDA - Billie Eilish

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

Completing the Circle - Gareth Coker

There’ll Always Be Another Monster - Brian D’Oliveira

POSTED FIC

May

take my hand and i'll drown you with me | Star Wars | Rey & Ben Solo | 2,157 words | “You brought this upon yourself,” the creature told her, its voice serene.

June

keeping me restless and whole | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,584 words | Mobius was very young when he encountered his first Loki.

July

feed me lies until i'm dead | Loki | Thor/Loki | 3,476 words | ��Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Thor asks.

the ghost of us can linger here | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 4,432 words | “So, how do you crazy kids want to do this?” Mobius asks them in a stage whisper, mouth twitching. At her back, Loki laughs, burying the sound against the curve of her neck.

there's a whisper in my bones | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,794 words | “All right,” she says. “Fine. Let’s make things more interesting. Take off your clothes.”

east of eden | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,202 words | “How long have you been fucking him?” Mobius asks, stroking his fingers against the place where leather meets skin.

Triptych in C Minor | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1,647 words | Pt 1 | There is a house at the end of time, past the last storm, pushed up against the very edge of the unknown. It is a castle, a manor, a fortress - all depending on who inhabits it. But one thing that it never is, is a home.

August

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

May

2k of Reylo mermay fic

June

N/A

July

1k+ of Xue Yang being a slut for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

300 words of vampire Song Lan

7k of Green Knight AU

August

10k of Green Knight AU

1.5k of hair dye shenanigans

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

May

yearning: a playlist for the heart

June

the chosen and the beautiful: a mix for jordan baker

July

kings & queens of the ruckus: a mix for loki and sylvie

August

N/A

#heather says what #heather writes #scrapbook #2021

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raptorginger · 6 years ago

Text

Handprints (Complete, 10k+ words) - by raptorginger

Chapter 1: Dark Souls

It was 11:00PM when he heard the tiny voice behind him. He was levelling up in Dark Souls III after a particularly grueling battle and hadn’t heard her sneak up behind his chair.

“Uncle Ben?” asked the tiny voice timidly.

He turned immediately to see the little girl that had become his whole world in a few short months. Little Cass. She stood rubbing her big brown eyes, blonde hair sleep ruffled, black jammie dress with the little aliens on them wrinkled. She was holding her favorite stuffed dog by its paw, the one that was almost as big as her. He could see tear tracks down her pink cheeks. She’d had the dream again.

“What is it, Sweetheart? Did you have the dream again?” he asked tenderly, holding his arms out.

The tiny creature clambered eagerly into his arms and lap, nodding as she did so. “Uh-huh.”

Ben readjusted her in his lap so he could hold her, the stuffed dog, and his controller. He held her tight. She’d been having the dream on and off in the several months since her parents had died. She would be with them, her mom and dad, somewhere sunny and happy, when a dark shape would take them from her, consuming them in a dark cloud. She would scream and reach out, her tiny hands grasping at nothingness. And she would fall, fall forever into a dark pit, the darkness swallowing her small body completely.

Since Cass had come to live with Ben after his sister, Padme, and her husband’s death, he had done all he could to help her adjust. He knew he was a poor substitute for her parents, but Cass had loved him all the same, even opening up and talking to him a little bit. The first time she’d come to him holding out a tea cup and asked him to play, his heart had soared, and he knew he’d do anything for this small child. It killed him that he couldn’t keep her nightmares from her sleep.

He held her tightly while the game’s music played quietly in the air around them. He sensed that there was more she wanted to say, but he didn’t push. She was starting kindergarten tomorrow. She was having a hard time socially, which was understandable, and honestly, he probably wasn’t the greatest role model in that department. She was probably terrified.

He felt guilty about that, but there honestly wasn’t a whole lot he could do. He’d done the playdate thing a few times at the behest of his mother, trying to make awkward small talk with the other parents, typically moms, but all had simply looked at him askance and with strange, slightly accusing looks, like they didn’t believe he was Cass’ legal guardian. They’d all huddle together, whispering, keeping him out. It was like high school all over again, and it pissed him off. But, he’d borne his discomfort for Cass’ sake. Cass hadn’t had an easier time. She couldn’t talk to the other children. She’d always end up playing alone. So, they stopped doing the playdate thing. Now Ben would take her to the park, and they would just play together. They’d play pirates or swing or scramble about on the fort. That’s when he’d see her old smile come out, and his heart would soar.

“Are you scared of starting school tomorrow?” he asked quietly.

Cass nodded, nuzzling into her dog. “Uh-huh.”

“Why?”

She thought awhile before answering. “What if the other kids don’t like me? Like all those kids at the park?”

Ben felt himself getting angry. He counted to ten. He sighed, “Those kids at the park were not nice. The kids in your class are going to be different. And they’d be crazy not to like you. You do have to talk to them though, Sweetheart. They won’t know you’re nice if you don’t talk to them.”

“But what if there’s like, a hundred?! That’s too many people to talk to!”

Ben felt a smile quirk his lips. “That is a lot, but I highly doubt there will be that many.” In fact, he knew that for certain. He’d picked this school specifically because of the small class size. And the teaching philosophy, but that was beside the point at the moment.

Cass made a small humming sound into the dog’s neck.

Ben continued, “And you don’t have to talk to everybody. Maybe just pick one classmate who seems nice like you and say ‘Hi.’ That would be a good start.”

“What if they don’t say hi back or say something mean?” Cass asked plaintively.

“Then they don’t say ‘hi’ back, and you’ll know not to try and be friends. If they say something mean, then tell your teacher.”

“What if the teacher is mean?”

Ben highly doubted that. The teacher, a Rey Johnson, had sent a letter to each parent about a week ago. It had been a cheery introduction, detailing her background and how committed she was to their child’s education. Ben had gotten the sense that this woman was irrepressibly cheerful and probably the nicest person in the world, perfectly suited for her job. “I don’t think your teacher is going to be mean. But if she is, come tell me, ok?”

Cass nodded, “Ok, Uncle Ben. Do I really have to talk to anybody?”

Ben sighed softly. “No, you don’t have to, but I’d like you to.” He really wanted Cass to have a friend her age. Her 30 year old surrogate parent uncle couldn’t be the only person in her life.

Cass snuggled deeper into her stuffed animal.

“I’ll make you a deal. If you talk to one of your classmates, I’ll take you out for ice cream when I pick you up. Deal?”

Cass looked at him. “Ok.” She paused, “Can we get ice cream even if I don’t?”

Ben looked into her big brown doe eyes. “Of course. But if you talk to another kid, I’ll make it a McFlurry.”

She broke out into a wide grin, making Ben break out into one of his own.

“Can I watch you play a while?”

She really shouldn’t, she had school tomorrow, but she looked like she’d fall asleep any second. “Ok, Sweetheart.” Cass snuggled deeper into Ben’s arms as he unpaused his game, making sure he didn’t fight anything too scary. She was asleep in an instant. A few minutes later, Ben saved his game, turned off the television, and carried Cass to her bed, tucking her and her dog in tight before kissing her softly on the forehead, hoping that kept the bad dreams away.

Chapter 2: Purple Cubby

Ben pulled his black Jetta TDI into a parking space near the entrance to the school. It wasn’t the designated drop off area per se, but Ben wanted to walk in with Cass. They’d arrived a bit earlier than the typical drop off time. Ben was hoping to have a word with Cass’ teacher Mrs. Johnson (Ben assumed she was married; most teachers he’d met were), and Cass wanted him to walk in with her anyway.

Ben knew he looked ridiculous, walking in to the school. He was tall and broad and even looked ridiculous in buildings with regular size furniture. He tried to shrink himself, hunching his shoulders, ducking his head sightly, one hand stuffed in the pocket of his jeans. Cass clung to his other arm. He led her to her classroom, following the cheerfully painted signs to Miss (he noticed) Johnson’s room. He looked like a giant among the child sized chairs and tables.

It was a bright and cheerful room. There was an abundance of windows letting in the natural light, what little wall there was was painted white and covered with boards that would eventually display the students’ work. A banner ran around the room near the ceiling, repeating the alphabet in bright colors. There was a little alcove off the room that held the children’s cubbies for coats and bookbags and boots. Each cubby was painted a different color of the rainbow, a prettily painted little sign with each child’s name hanging from it. Ben presumed Miss Johnson had made those herself. Ben helped Cass find her cubby and hang up her jacket and backpack. Ben saw Cass smile sweetly when she saw her cubby was painted purple, her favorite color.

“Did Miss Johnson know that’s my favorite, Uncle Ben?!” she asked incredulously, her voice barely above a whisper.

“No, but I’m glad it worked out that way,” a lovely voice answered. Ben turned and saw a young woman behind them. Miss Johnson was very young and very pretty, he realized. She was wearing a white a-line dress with an eyelet overlay under a seafoam green cardigan and black flats. It accented her natural tan skin, warm brown hair, and the smattering of freckles on her face. Her hazel eyes were full of light. Her rosy lips were smiling sweetly down at Cass. “Hi! I’m Miss Rey,” the woman said, still looking at Cass. She had knelt down to one knee to bring her eye level with her as she introduced herself. Ben tried not to look down her dress. He felt his face starting to turn red. He ran a hand through his unruly hair, mussing it further.

“I’m Cass Antilles,” Cass said softly.

“Hi Cass! I’m happy to have you in my class,” Rey replied softly. “Since you’re the first here, would you like to go pick your seat?”

Cass nodded enthusiastically and scampered off to choose a seat near one of the windows, leaving Ben alone with Rey.

Ben held a hand out to her, to help her up. She took it, his large hand dwarfing her small one. He had a good foot on her in height. Keeping a hold of her hand, he gave it a slight shake. “Hi, I’m Cass’ uncle Ben Solo.”

She smiled up at him, her hand very warm in his own. “I’m Rey Johnson.” Her voice had a lovely timbre and a British accent. He could listen to her talk all day.

“Umm, listen, could I talk to you a minute? About Cass?” Ben asked. When she glanced at the clock, he added, “I won’t take too much of your time, I just need you to know a bit about her situation.”

Rey nodded, “Alright, Mr. Solo. But other children will start arriving soon.”

“I know. I’ll be brief. I became Cass’ legal guardian when her parents died. Her mother was my sister. She and her husband died in an accident a few months ago, and Cass came to live with me. She’s been having trouble opening up to people since then. She’s very quiet and shy, even before the accident, but even more so now. But she’s a sweet girl with so much light and niceness. I just really want her to have a friend that isn’t me…” Ben realized he was starting to ramble, his hands beginning to tug at his hair. He was looking everywhere but at her.

He quieted when Rey touched his arm. Her touch was warm and gentle. “I’m so sorry for your loss Mr. Solo. For yours and Cass’. She is a sweet girl. I will do my best to help with her social development this year, you have my word.”

Ben nodded, meeting her sincere gaze. He often forgot, in caring for Cass, that he had also lost his sister, his best friend. He didn’t dwell on it too long or he might fall apart, right in front of the glowing woman before him.

“And if I may say so, you’re incredibly sweet,” Rey blushed when she paused a bit too long. “To be concerned about her well being I mean,” she added hurriedly.

“Of course I am. Who wouldn’t be concerned about their child making friends their own age?” Ben replied, trying desperately to ignore her blush.

“You’d be surprised, Mr. Solo,” Rey replied sadly. “Anyway, thank you for telling me about Cass.” She held out her hand again.

Ben reached out slowly and took it, the warmth spreading through him again. “Call me Ben. Thank you for listening, Miss Johnson.”

“Rey, if you please,” she replied, giving his hand a small shake. She released him, turning to address the other children beginning to filter into the classroom.

Ben watched her move about the children, directing them to their cubbies and helping others find their seats. She moved gracefully, a big smile on her face. She radiated happiness. Ben walked to the door, flipping a wave to Cass as he left. He saw that a small dark skinned girl had approached her and was offering her a graham cracker from her bag. Cass timidly took it and offered the girl the seat next to hers. He smiled. He had a good feeling about this year.

Chapter 3: Naptime

Rey worked quietly on her seating chart by lamplight during naptime. She had switched off the overhead light and drawn the shades over the windows. Soft classical music was playing. Soon she would switch it off, open the blinds, and start waking the kids up. For now, she worked. Until a pair of soft brown eyes began to cloud her mind, filled with warmth and sadness. Slowly the rest of Ben’s face formed in her mind, and her thoughts drifted to him. His concern for his niece was so earnest. Rey hadn’t missed the fact that he’d called her his child.

She was glad she’d get to tell Ben he didn’t need to worry. She looked over to where Cass was curled up, asleep. She was huddled together with Marlo, the daughter of her friends FInn Brahe and Rose Tico, and Killian, the son of her other close friend Poe Dameron and his wife Jessika. Marlo had offered Cass a graham cracker earlier that day, and Cass had offered her a place to sit. Killian had taken another seat at their table, since he and Marlo were inseparable. All three looked like they were becoming fast friends. Rey smiled. She couldn’t think of two nicer children to be friends with.

Her thoughts turned back to Ben. He’d looked so sweet, large shoulders hunched, shuffling awkwardly, tugging his hair as he spoke. His eyes held such a sadness. Rey sighed. She wondered if he’d had time to grieve for the sister and friend he’d lost. If he had allowed himself that time, or if he’d thrown himself completely into caring for Cass. Rey wondered if he had even wanted to be a father, what he’d had to do to adjust. He seemed young, a bit older than her to be sure, but still young to have fatherhood unexpectedly thrown at him. She wondered if he had anyone to take care of him.

Suddenly, an image popped into her mind. Her fingers running gently through his hair, soothing him while he rested his head on her shoulder, his strong arms around her waist, holding her to him. What if his plush lips ghosted along her neck? Maybe his large hands would drift slowly up her back then back down, down to grip her…

Rey shook her head. Nope, nope, she couldn’t think of that right now. Besides, she thought sadly, someone like Ben probably wouldn’t want someone like her. She was incredibly independent. Finn, Rose, Poe, and Jessika were the only people in her life who had stuck around, seeing her loneliness in spite of her independent attitude. Her parents had abandoned her, and she’d been kicked around multiple foster homes until she aged out of the system about 5 years ago. She’d made peace with her past, but it had left its mark. Most men she went out with found her difficult to deal with, and there had never been more than one date. She didn’t need to inflict that on Ben, who clearly didn’t need anything else complicated in his life.

***

The rest of the day went wonderfully for Rey. After naptime was art, music, and crafts. She was too busy to think about anything but her kids. Before she knew it, 3:00PM rolled around. The bell rang, and Rey released her kids to their cubbies to gather their things. Once the kids had everything, Rey herded them together and led them to the pick up line outside. She waved when she saw Finn and Poe waiting patiently for Marlo and Killian. The pair tugged on Cass’ arms, wanting to introduce her to their respective fathers. Both men went down on one knee to say hello to the small girl hiding her face in Marlo’s shoulder, peeking at them shyly. Rey was smiling at the group, hugging her arms to her midriff, when a shadow came up beside her.

“I can’t believe it,” she heard Ben murmur beside her. His voice sent a shiver down her spine. She held herself tighter and looked up at Ben’s bewildered but smiling face. Her stomach did a flip.

“I’ve known those two since they were born. You couldn’t find two nicer children,” Rey said.

“Rey, I...I can’t thank you enough for this,” Ben said, looking down into her eyes.

“I had nothing to do with it. Cass did it all on her own,” she replied, returning his smile with a shy one of her own.

She saw something change in Ben’s gaze that made her blush slightly. She looked away. “I’ve known their parents since I was a teenager. They’re good people.”

“Seems like it,” Ben said with a hint of caution. His expression changed when Cass ran up to them. He bent down and scooped her up in his arms, lifting her high. Rey’s stomach flipped again. She needed to get a hold of that; this really wasn’t fair.

“How was your day, Sweetheart?” Ben asked Cass.

“Great, Uncle Ben! I made two friends! Marlo and Killian!” Cass replied excitedly.

“You did?! That’s awesome!”

Cass was nodding enthusiastically. “Can I play with them at the park on Saturday? Their dads said it was ok.”

“Of course, Sweetheart. Did they say what time?”

“Lunchtime.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Cass hugged his neck tightly. “Yay!! Miss Rey, will you come too? Mr. Poe said you should come.”

Rey had been so absorbed in the conversation between the two of them that she was startled when Cass addressed her. “I would love to, if that’s alright with your Uncle Ben,” she stammered, looking at Ben.

Ben looked at her again, his brown eyes warm and inviting. Was she mistaken, or was there less sadness when he looked at her? “I’d love that.”

Chapter 4: Black Hat

Ben spent the hours Cass was at school actually in his office at First Order Web Design and Security. He and another guy named Hux handled the security part while another team handled the web design part. It was all run by this old codger named Snoke who wanted a foot in the tech world.

“Well well, the prodigal son returns,” Hux grumbled as Ben sat down at his desk. Ben had made an arrangement to work from home until Cass started school. He’s kept himself free that first day in case she needed him. From all appearances, it didn’t look like she was going to. With the help of her new friends, Cass was adjusting incredibly well. It helped that Rey was their teacher, with her serene demeanor and just general air of kindness. And she had those hazel eyes that danced when she saw him. And that warm brown hair that complimented her golden skin perfectly. And those damn adorable freckles...

“I hope you didn’t pester the NSA too much while I was out, Hux” Ben replied, shaking his head to scatter thoughts of Rey. He was in a good mood.

“No more than you do anytime you jump online, Kylo,” Hux retorted. Ben scowled at Hux. Both of them had done some black hat work in college and after, when Ben had used the hacker alias Kylo Ren. Ben had given that up the second Cass was born. Hux used the name to tease him now.

“Whatever,” Ben mumbled.

“So how is the little one? Still ridiculously precious, I assume?” Hux asked. Anyone else would have taken offense at Hux’s prissy tone, but Ben knew that’s just how Hux was. Somehow Cass had reached through Hux’s cold exterior, and he genuinely did care.

“Great, actually. She’s making friends, smiling more. It’s incredible, Hux,” Ben replied, gleaming.

“Really? Who’s the teacher?”

“She’s, umm, new this year, according to her letter. Her name’s Rey Johnson. She’s…” Ben paused, trying to think of how to adequately describe Rey to Hux.

“Oh my Gawd, you have the dopiest look on your face,” Hux snickered. “She’s that hot, huh?”

“Shut up, Hux. It’s not like that.”

“Umm, yes it is. I’ve known you since college, and I have seen that look precisely once.”

“Then you’ll remember the look that came after it,” Ben grumbled. Rejection was not a good look on Ben. He’d fallen hard for a girl in one of his classes. She did not return the feeling. He’d spent the rest of the day in his apartment, growling at Hux and stomping around. Hux had finally had enough and had dragged him to the bar that night to get drunk and hook up with a random girl. That had essentially been Ben’s only sexual encounter, and it had been shitty. He found out he wasn’t the hook up type. Ben realized a physical connection wasn’t enough. He wanted an emotional one too.

“Oh please. That was ages ago. And who knows, maybe she’s The One,” Hux said, rolling his pale blue eyes. He was Ben’s polar opposite in that department.

“Maybe…” Ben whispered to himself as he worked, seeing Rey dancing in his code.

Chapter 5: Touch

When Saturday rolled around (finally), Rey found herself staring at her closet like a deer caught in the headlights. What the hell did you wear to a playdate in the park? When you weren’t even a parent to one of the kids on said playdate. And half the reason you were going was to slyly check out the large brooding man with the soft dark hair.

Rey had found an excuse to touch his hair this week at pick up time. She’d lied and said a bit of dandelion fluff had gotten caught. Ben had obligingly bent down and allowed her to pluck the imaginary fluff from his hair. She may have lingered a bit, stroking the soft strands gently.

“Got it,” she’d whispered. The look he was giving her left her breathless.

“Thanks,” Ben had replied, holding her gaze as he rose.

Rey rifled through her shirts. Unless she was mistaken, Ben must feel the same way she did. At least a little bit. It seemed he’d found any excuse to touch her this past week. When a couple kids had bumped into her, she hadn’t really been in danger of falling over, but his long fingers had wrapped around her arms anyway, just to make sure. She’d shivered as his thumbs rubbed inside her upper arms. Another time his hand had come to rest on her lower back once when she’d tripped, just a little, on a bit of uneven pavement. His warm touch had lingered maybe a tad longer than was necessary.

Rey found herself blushing like a teenager in her closet, one hand on her cheek, the other over her stomach. She felt giddy, nervous. She shook her head. Focus, she told herself. You don’t want to be late, she thought as she grabbed a pair of dark wash skinny jeans off the shelf and a fitted light grey tunic top off the hanger. She tugged on her dark brown leather Frye riding boots to complete the ensemble. She brushed her hair, working it into her favorite three bun style and rubbed some BB cream onto her face. She grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen and threw it along with her phone and keys into her bag and headed out of her apartment.

***

It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. Everyone was already at the park when Rey pulled up. Poe and Finn were chatting on a bench with Jessika while Rose was helping Killian cheer Marlo and Cass on as they tried to wrestle Ben to the ground.

Rey placed her hand over her heart, willing it to slow its rapid beating. If she thought Ben was attractive when he was brooding, that was nothing compared to when he was laughing with a big smile on his face, children climbing all over him like a jungle gym. And then Ben saw her. He stopped laughing, but his smile grew broader. Ben said a few words and pointed to her, the kids all turned and ran to Rey screaming, arms out. Still holding his gaze, Rey knelt down and held her arms out, little bundles of energy crashing into her.

By the time she disentangled herself, Ben had made his way over. He held his hand out to help her up. She took it gladly, giving it a slight squeeze as she let go when everyone else came over.

“Glad you made it, Rey!” Jessika exclaimed, giving Rey a hug.

“It’s been forever!” said Rose, doing the same.

“How have you been since yesterday?” Poe asked cheekily.

Rey laughed, “Fine, Poe.”

“Can we have lunch now, Daddy?” Marlo asked Finn.

Finn laughed, “Sure thing, Peanut. I’m starving.”

They all made their way over to a shady spot under some trees, Rose and Jessika spreading out blankets, Finn and Poe distributing sandwiches to everyone and bottles of cold tea to the adults, and Ben and Rey handing out sippy cups of water and bags of Cheez-its to the kids. They sat in pairs, with the kids kind of in the middle. The little ones ate and drank quickly and fell asleep just as fast.

They all talked for awhile, asking Ben about what he did for a living, Ben asking what they did, what everyone enjoyed doing on weekends. Rey watched Ben grow from cautious and guarded to warm and open as he grew more comfortable with her friends. She smiled, hugging her knees to her chest. Picnics were all well and good in theory, but sitting on the ground quickly lost its charm.

Poe nudged Finn, prompting him to turn to Ben and ask, “Hey, Ben, what was that you were saying about your friends? They’re playing some concert tonight or something? Rey you’re not busy tonight are you?”

Rey shook her head, watching as a blush crept up Ben’s cheeks as he turned to her, tugging his hair again in that adorable way he did.

“Umm, yeah, my friends Hux and Phasma are playing tonight at the brewery downtown. My parents offered to watch the kids for the night, if you’d like to come too. I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want…”

Rey smiled at him, resting her head on her knees. “I’d love to.”

Chapter 6: Beer Garden

Ben’s palms were sweaty. Why were his palms so sweaty? Wiping them on his jeans, he kept an eye out for Rey. A lot of people had turned out for the concert; that would please Hux and Phasma. He’d helped them set up a couple hours ago before going home to shower and change.

Cass and her friends were already at his parents’. Leia had been overjoyed to host a sleepover. Han was already on the phone with the pizza place, ordering stuffed crust. Ben almost wished he was staying with his parents. Almost. His mother had given him a pat on the cheek before he left, his dad gave him a wink. Apparently he hadn’t been as subtle about Rey as he thought in his conversations with them.

He’d also spent a few minutes before he left straightening up around the house, putting empty glasses and sippy cups in the dishwasher, putting his D&D 5e books back on the shelf with his video games, making his bed. Not that he thought anyone but him was going to see it tonight, just because he had some time to kill. Really, that was the only reason.

As he waited for Rey, he thought about Hux’s comments while he’d helped them set up.

“I swear to Hades, Solo, if you don’t make a move, I am going to call you out on stage,” Hux had said.

Phasma, overhearing, had come up and added, “Yeah, we’ll make you sing.” Ben scowled at Hux. He must have told Phasma about Rey during one of their practices.

“You’ve been moon-eyed over this girl all week and you won’t shut up about her. Just go for it, you moron.”

“Hux, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Just leave it alone,” Ben had snarled.

Hux sighed, his haughty facade replaced with a kinder one Ben had only seen a couple times. He put his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Ben, in all seriousness. If you care about this girl, really care about her, you need to do something about it. You can’t let fear hold you back from what could be the best thing to happen to you...ok, second best thing.”

Ben had looked at Hux dumbfounded.

“I mean, I’m obviously the best,” Hux had added in an exaggerated haughty manner.

Phasma laughed and threw in her two cents. “If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. But you won’t know until you DO something. And from what Hux has told me, it sounds like this girl is warm for your form dude. Go for it.”

And there she was, walking in with Finn, Poe, Rose, and Jessika. She was laughing and smiling at something one of them had said. When their eyes met, her smile grew a little broader, her eyes a little brighter. She had let her hair down, the warm brown tresses curling slightly. The afternoon sunshine had brought her freckles out a bit more. Why was she always glowing? Ben felt his palms get sweaty again. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

The group made their way over to him, Rey coming to stand beside him. “Hey guys, glad you could make it,” Ben said sheepishly, trying very hard not to stare at Rey. “Umm, they’ve set up a bar out in the beer garden where the concert’ll be. They pulled some limited stuff out of the cellar, high octane so I’d be careful. I can be the DD, if you want.”

He pulled some cards out of his pocket, handing one to each of them. “Hux and Phas gave me these as a thank you for helping them set up. These’ll get you 15% off your drinks when you show them to the bartender.”

“Thanks, Ben! That’s awfully nice of you!” Rose chirped.

“Yeah, that’s awesome of you to offer, but we can just get a cab or something if you want to partake,” Poe said.

“No big deal. I have room in my car, and I don’t really drink.” He’d made sure to borrow his dad’s SUV, since there was no way he could get everyone in his Jetta. Han had been almost too happy, shoving the keys in Ben’s hand and nearly shoving him out the door, telling him to have a good time with his friends.

“Well alrighty then! Make a path, Finn is cutting loose!” Finn had cried, making a beeline for the bar.

Rose laughed, trailing after him. “If I don’t keep an eye on him, I’ll lose him!” she shouted behind her.

Poe and Jessika followed after them, leaving Rey and Ben alone.

“Can I, umm, get you something?” Ben asked, running his hand through his hair as they walked out into the beer garden.

“Sure. What do they have?” Rey asked as they approached the bar. She was toying with her fingers nervously.

The bartender helped them both pick a beer, a session ale for Ben since it was low ABV and a chocolate mint stout for Rey. As they were about to turn to leave the bartender called out, “Hey Miss! Wait you forgot your cookie!”

Rey turned around confused, and the bartender handed her a Thin Mint. “Your beer comes with a Thin Mint. It highlights the chocolate and mint notes in the beer.”

Rey thanked him and went back to Ben, nibbling her cookie. “I got a cookie,” she said bemused.

“I can see that,” Ben replied, laughing. He held his hand up when she offered him half.

They found the rest of their friends standing off to the side of the crowd and joined them.

***

A ways into the concert, Rey had lost herself in the music, and she failed to notice they’d lost Finn and Poe. Rose came up to her, a bit drunk and frazzled. “I lost Finn,” she wailed.

“Oh dear, he can’t have gone far,” Rey said, trying not to laugh. She saw that Ben was still beside her, staring off into middle distance.

“Will you help me find him? You know how he and Poe get sometimes,” Rose asked.

“Sure. Ben, will you help me find Finn? Ben?” Rey touched Ben’s arm lightly.

“Huh? Oh! Sure thing. Come on, I think I saw one of them go this way,” Ben replied, shaking himself out of his reverie. He grabbed Rey’s hand, pulling her into the crowd.

“Thank you!” Rose called out as she headed a different direction.

Ben and Rey moved through the sea of bodies until they reached the middle of the crowd. Ben was so tall, he was hoping he’d be able to spot one of them from the middle. He scanned the crowd, but couldn’t see either of them. He looked down and saw that Rey was wrapped up in the music again, moving slightly to the beat. He stopped looking and watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Ben saw Phas catch Hux’s eye and jerk her chin in his direction. Hux seemed to look him square in the eye. Surely they couldn’t pick him out of the crowd.

Or maybe they could. Phasma stepped up to her microphone and said, “Alright folks, we’re gonna slow things down a notch. Take a chance...to catch your breath.” She and Hux started in on a slow romantic melody. They had seen him. Ben’s palms got sweaty again. He wiped them on his jeans again.

As the song played on stage, Ben felt a surge of...something...flow through him. Something bright and shining. His hand sought Rey’s beside him. Wrapping his long fingers around her hand, he pulled her closer. She was looking up at him, her hazel eyes meeting his brown ones, her lips parted slightly.

“Rey,” Ben swallowed. He bent down to whisper in her ear, “Can I...can I kiss you?”

Rey’s free hand came up and stroked his cheek gently. “Yes,” she whispered back.

Ben’s heart sang as he turned his head slightly, capturing her lips with his own. He kissed her gently, bringing his hand up to the nape of her neck, his thumb stroking behind her ear along her hairline.

Rey returned his kiss shyly, having never been kissed like this before, or really ever. He was being so gentle, almost like he knew. When she felt his tongue brush her lower lip, a bolt of feeling went straight to her lower abdomen. She opened her lips a bit, letting him in. He deepened the kiss, increasing the pressure on her lips slightly as his tongue explored her mouth. Her hand slipped into his hair, the soft locks like silk beneath her fingers. She felt a hum vibrate in his throat. Encouraged, she let her tongue slip across his. His grip tightened on her neck and hand.

Ben ended the kiss as gently as he began it when the song came to an end. Resting his forehead against hers, he whispered, “I wanted to do that the second I met you.”

“Really?” Rey asked quietly, almost unable to believe it.

Ben nodded.

“Can I tell you something, Ben?”

“Anything.”

“That was, umm, my first kiss,” Rey stammered, looking down.

Ben pulled away from her slightly, a look of incredulity on his face as something almost primal roared through him. Placing his fingers beneath her chin, he urged her to look back up at him. When she complied, looking up at him through her lashes, Ben held her face between his hands, bringing his lips to hers again. This kiss was deeper, almost insistent. Another bolt of feeling shot through Rey, straight to the place between her thighs as Ben’s tongue stroked inside her mouth.

“We’d like to remind the audience that while PDA is fine, please keep it PG,” Ben heard Hux’s amused voice over the clamor of the crowd. He and Rey jumped apart almost instinctually, both of them blushing deeply.

“And to the two guys doing push ups in front of the stage, thank you for the entertainment,” Phasma added.

Ben cocked an eyebrow at Rey. “You don’t think…”

Rey held a hand up to her mouth, stifling her laughter. “I absolutely do.”

Rey grabbed Ben’s hand and led him towards the front of the crowd. There they found Poe and Finn, on the ground, doing push ups while Rose and Jessika tried in vain to get them to leave with them. Apparently they had really enjoyed the bar’s high octane offerings. With Ben and Rey’s help, Jessika and Rose managed to get Finn and Poe off to the side of the stage. Both were incredibly inebriated.

Rose turned to Ben saying, “I think it’s time to go.”

Rey smiled shyly when Ben looked at her and said, “I think so too.”

Chapter 7: New

Rey stood on Ben’s stoop as he unlocked the front door of his house, hands clasped together, nervously chewing her lip. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit scared. She was a virgin, and while the concept held no meaning for her, the physical implications intimidated her a little bit. She’d experimented a bit with her fingers in the past, read novels and stories online, but this was guaranteed to be something else entirely. Ben was just so large; there was no way the parts she couldn’t see weren’t proportional. And what about Ben? Was he going to expect things from her? Was she supposed to do something for him?

Ben pushed the door open and turned to her, holding his hand out to her. “Come in,” the faintest hint of a question in his words. Rey took his hand tentatively, walking in. Ben’s thumb brushed across her knuckles, trying to reassure her.

“Rey, I can take you home if you want. You don’t have to stay. With me,” Ben said gently.

“No, Ben. I want to stay. I...want it...to be you,” Rey replied haltingly, not quite sure how to convey that she wanted her first time to be with him. Without sounding like a teenager anyway. She pulled off her boots, a sign she intended to stay.

Ben wrapped her in his arms, holding her close. “To be honest, Rey, you aren’t the only inexperienced one here,” Ben murmured into her hair.

Rey looked up at him. “What?”

“I...I’ve only been with one other person. It was a drunk hook up thing in college. I learned that wasn’t for me. Since then, there was never anyone that I...cared about enough to want to sleep with.”

Rey could only stare at him. How could someone as attractive and caring as him have only slept with one person? And did he say he cared for her?

“I mean, I’ve read and...stuff, so I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing,” he said with a lopsided grin.

Rey reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, saying softly, “I trust you.” She rose on her toes, “Make me yours, Ben” she whispered in his ear, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

That primal instinct roared through Ben again- the need to claim and possess. Where the hell had that come from? He’d examine that later. Right now, he bent and scooped Rey up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He set her gently on top of the king size bed, cradling the side of her face in his hand. Rey turned and nuzzled into his palm, pressing a kiss there.

Rey sat on the edge of the mattress, watching him intently. His fingers trailed from her cheek down her neck, ghosting over her breast, causing her to shiver. Ben leaned forward, capturing her lips in a deep kiss and his hands crept to her waist, grabbing handfuls of her shirt and pulling it up and over her head. Rey blushed as he regarded her with eyes blown wide by lust.

“Stand up for me, Rey,” Ben said, his voice rougher and deeper.

Rey stood, shaking slightly, but trying to hold herself still. Ben reached and unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them slowly over her hips and down to to the floor and off, kneeling before her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Ben looked up at Rey.

“So beautiful,” Ben whispered as he began to press kisses onto her stomach and hips. His large hands began caressing her back, down over the curve of her ass and back up. He could smell her arousal through the grey silk. Shit that was hot. Ben felt his erection straining against his jeans. Rey’s hands threaded through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. He rose and began to undress, Rey watching him with wide eyes.

When Ben stood before her, Rey reached out and touched his chest, trailing her fingers lightly down his abdomen. His skin was pale, bearing moles and scars. She felt him shudder as her touch reached his hip. Rey could see now that she had been right; everything was proportional. She swallowed thickly, but she trusted Ben not to hurt her.

He wrapped her in his arms again, kissing her more urgently as he pushed her back against the bed. Tangled together, Rey felt Ben’s hands roaming slowly all over her body as his mouth moved from her lips to her neck, sucking gently at the sensitive place where it met her shoulder. She raked her nails softly down his back as soft moans escaped her.

He moved lower kissing her sternum, stroking her breast over the lace of her bra. Reaching behind her, Ben deftly undid the hooks and pulled it off her, throwing it to the side. He raised himself up, taking in her flushed skin and the dusky rose of her nipples. He reached out and stroked each with the backs of his fingers, watching the delicate skin harden and pebble beneath his touch. Rey gasped when he lowered his head suddenly, taking one in his mouth, licking and nipping at the sensitive skin while he kneaded the other. He reached out with his other hand and interlaced their fingers, holding her tight.

Rey had been so wrapped up in the sensation of his mouth on her breast that she jumped as she felt his fingers slipping beneath the band of her underwear.

Ben released her breast, coming back up to look in her pleasure glazed eyes. “I’m going to touch you, Rey,” he said, panting. “Are you wet for me, Love?”

“Yes, Ben. I’m so wet for you. Only you,” Rey replied breathlessly. “Please, Ben. Please.”

He felt himself throbbing painfully at her words. Only you. Please. He ground his hips into the mattress, hoping to relieve the pressure on his cock somewhat. They were the most beautiful words he’d ever heard. Obligingly, he reached beneath the thin silk and stroked her slit gently. He pressed his lips to her ear, purring, “So wet.”

Rey moaned and cried beneath Ben’s careful ministrations. He took his time with her, finding out what made her moan and what made her scream. When her cries became whimpers and her body started writhing, he slid one finger inside her, causing Rey to arch. Ben began stroking inside her, revelling in how tight she was around him.

“Oh, Ben,” Rey sighed, drunk on pleasure.

“Hmm,” Ben hummed in her ear. “Am I hurting you, Love?”

“Oh God, no,” Rey moaned as Ben continued to stroke her, finding a patch that felt different than the others. Rubbing it, he smiled as that caused Rey to cry out loudly. He continued to stroke her, using his thumb to rub at her tight bundle of nerves. Adding another finger, Ben began stretching her as he stroked, her pleading cries music to his ears.

Rey’s insides felt strange, like there was a spring in her middle, coiled tight. She writhed and squirmed beside Ben as he touched her, breathy moans and loud cries escaping her. She threw a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle herself, but Ben grabbed her wrist and pulled it away.

“I want to hear you, Rey. I want to hear you when you come for me,” he murmured, holding her gaze.

Rey nodded. The look in Ben’s velvet brown eyes made Rey’s stomach flutter. She held his gaze as she arched up. “Fuck, Ben. I’m so close. Please make me come,” she moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Ben growled as he kissed that delicate spot between her neck and shoulder again, grazing his teeth over it. He added a third finger into her wet heat, causing Rey to keen. He pumped them into her, over and over, continuing to rub her clit as he did. He nipped at her neck gently. He could feel how close she was.

Rey’s climax hit her hard. All at once it felt like the spring inside her let loose, and she was vaguely aware she screamed Ben’s name. Everything went dark then came back, sharper than before. She felt her intimate walls clamp down around Ben’s fingers, trying to pull him deeper into her.

Ben rode out Rey’s climax with her, bringing her back down to him. When her breaths turned deep and slow, Ben pulled his fingers from her, marvelling at how slick they were. Looking back into Rey’s eyes, he licked his fingers clean, causing her eyes to widen.

“Next time, I’m going to taste you Rey. I’ll make you come on my tongue,” Ben hummed. She tasted amazing.

Rey could barely focus, so she simply watched Ben as he reached over her to the drawer of his nightstand. On impulse, she grabbed his wrist, stopping him. When he looked at her with one eyebrow raised, she shook her head.

“IUD. Please don’t. I want…” Rey bit her lip. Ben’s pupils dilated further. “I want you to come inside me, Ben. Please.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asked, his voice low and rough. Mine.

Rey nodded, pulling off her underwear.

Ben moaned in appreciation as he settled himself over Rey, reaching down and pushing her legs apart. Rey wrapped them around his waist instinctively as he lowered his hips, his rigid cock pushing at her wet entrance. He heard Rey’s sharp intake of breath as he pushed into her.

“Just relax, Love. Let me control it,” Ben stammered. She was so tight, so warm. “Fuck, you’re amazing.”

Rey reached up and held the side of his face in her hand as he pushed slowly into her until he was buried to the hilt. He held still while he felt her adjust around him until he couldn’t bear it anymore. He ground his hips, setting a slow rhythm. Rey started panting, there was so much of him inside her.

“You take my cock so well, Love,” Ben whispered, praising her. As he began to slowly pump in and out of her.

Rey hummed in response, her hands moving to his back, fingers digging in to tense muscle. She could feel how hard he was trying not to hurt her, to control himself. She felt silly, but it brought tears to her eyes. He cared so much, and it touched her deeply. She moved her hips, matching his movements, encouraging him to thrust into her harder, faster.

It didn’t take much encouragement. Ben had been close for so long; listening to Rey moan and cry out his name had almost done it. And each thrust of his hips brought another breathy sigh from her, encouraging him to pump into her harder and faster until his hips were snapping and her sighs became screams of pleasure.

Ben began to groan, feeling his release getting closer. But he’d be damned if he left her hanging. He reached between them to where they were joined, feeling for her hard bundle of nerves. Rubbing it, he moaned as he felt her walls clench around his hard length, causing him to release inside her. Ben’s head fell to Rey’s shoulder as he thrust gently with each throb, feeling his spend coating her. Rey’s hands gently caressed his back, helping him ride out his own climax.

When his throbbing subsided, he pulled out of her, a hiss escaping his clenched teeth. He collapsed onto his back, panting. Rey curled onto her side, her small hand resting on his chest. She could feel fluid leaking from her. She shifted uncomfortably.

“Do you mind of I, umm, clean up?” Rey asked Ben timidly.

Turning his head, he looked into her bright eyes. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Of course not,” Ben replied. “Bathroom’s just there. There’s washcloths in there too.”

Rey smiled as she left the bed. Ablutions completed, she returned and saw that Ben had gotten under the covers, pulling them to the side for her. She crawled in beside him, curling into his side and resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, throwing the covers over her and tucking them in. Rey rested her hand over Ben’s heart, feeling the strong beat beneath her fingers. His other hand came up to rest over hers, holding it tight. Rey felt Ben sighed contentedly, and she smiled. They both were asleep within seconds.

Chapter 8: Warmth

Rey’s eyelids fluttered open as diffused early morning light filtered in through the curtains at the bedroom window. She was lying on her side, facing Ben’s bedroom door. She could see their clothes strewn about the floor. His hand was resting gently on her naked hip. Rey brought her hand up to her mouth, biting down on her knuckle to hide the big silly smile that was spreading across her face. She felt giddy.

Abandoned by her parents, neglected by the uncle forced to take her in, and shunned by other children for one reason or another, Rey had spent most of her life feeling unwanted and alone. The empty feelings still haunted her even though by all accounts she’d put her past behind her, had finally found some measure of happiness. But lying here beside Ben, she felt that empty feeling replaced by something warm. She felt whole, for the first time in her life. And unless she was mistaken, Ben must feeling somewhat similar. This past week, she’d seen the sadness in his eyes replaced by something else. Something that looked just as warm as the feeling inside her.

Rey wiggled back against Ben, surprised to feel something warm and hard pressing against her lower back. Oh. Biting her lower lip, she gently pressed her backside into his hardness. Ben moaned in his sleep and ground his hips into her, the grip on her hip tightening. Rey felt a warm feeling building between her thighs, and she was overcome with the desire to touch him, to see him. She rolled over carefully, pushing Ben gently onto his back. His eyes were struggling to open, and Rey took the opportunity to pull the blankets back. She smiled sheepishly when she saw that he was now fully awake, regarding her with hungry eyes.

“I wanted to see you,” Rey whispered, leaning up on her elbow.

“Hmm,” Ben replied as one hand played with her hair and the other went to grab her other hand. He pulled it to his lower abdomen. “Do you like what you see?”

Rey, unable to muster any cheekiness when Ben was looking at her like he was, said sincerely, “I think you’re beautiful.” She briefly considered that he might think it odd to call a man beautiful, but it seemed to be the only word that applied to him. His broad body bore the marks and scars of a rough and tumble boyhood. His arms were strong, but not grossly muscled. His features were unconventional, but no less attractive to her. His hair was sinfully thick and dark. She even thought his more...sensitive...parts were beautiful, in a way. It fascinated her, watching his rigid cock twitch under her gaze.

Ben smiled at her. “So are you.” He let his hand trail to her breast, where he began to stroke and tug at her nipple, watching it harden at his touch.

Rey sighed with pleasure. “Mmm...Ben...please can I touch you?”

He almost laughed at her, but she asked so sincerely. In reply, he tugged her hand lower to his throbbing dick. He inhaled sharply as she gently stroked his hard length. Rey watched him twitch and throb and grow harder beneath her touch, unbelievably turned on that she was doing this to him. When she wrapped her hand around him, Ben moaned loudly. Rey yelped in surprise when he flipped her onto her back, pinning her to the mattress with his large hands on her hips.

“Did I hurt you?” Rey asked, concerned. She didn’t think she had, but what did she know. Ben’s eyes were so dark.

“Oh no, Love. You touch me so well. But I just remembered something,” Ben replied, a devilish glint in his eye.

“What’s that?” Rey asked breathlessly, her hands resting on either side of her face.

Ben looked down at the beautiful woman beneath him, all warm and glowing and perfect. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough, “I said that next time I’d make you come on my tongue, Rey. And I’m a man of my word.”

***

After a morning spent with Ben enthusiastically keeping his word, among other things, Rey was grateful to share Ben’s shower with him. They had both finished washing and rinsing and were simply standing under the warm spray, holding each other.

“Rey, would you… I mean, I know it’s Sunday and there’s probably other things you want to do today…” Ben stammered, “But would you like to spend the day with Cass and me?”

Ben had no idea where that had come from, what had possessed him to ask her that. Of course she’d be busy. She was a teacher. She had her own life.

Rey tilted her head up, resting her chin on his sternum, a smile on her rosy lips. “There is nothing I’d rather do today.”

Ben felt his heart flip flop from the way she was looking at him. And he felt himself grinning like an idiot when she’d agreed to spend the day with him and Cass.

“What do you normally do on Sundays?” Rey asked as Ben turned the water off.

“Have breakfast with my parents, go to the park, come home with Chinese food for dinner and play either Mario Kart or Dungeons & Dragons,” he replied, handing her a towel. Too late he realized he was essentially asking her to meet his parents, and there was no way he was going to be able to be subtle about how he felt. He had to talk to Cass anyway, and Leia was infamous for eavesdropping. He looked at her, hoping he hadn’t put her off.

“That all sounds wonderful, Ben! But isn’t D&D a bit too complicated for Cass? I mean, I barely get it and I’m 24.” Rey noticed that Ben was looking at her a bit apprehensively. She didn’t mind meeting his parents so soon. She hoped she conveyed that.

“I modify it for her. We don’t really run a campaign or anything. I helped her create her character, and I send her on missions to find unicorns and young metallic dragons and things like that. She has quite the menagerie going. Wait, do you play?!”

Rey laughed at the expression on Ben’s face. “Yeah, a bit. Finn and Poe were really into it in college when I met them. We still play with Jessika and Rose every once and awhile.”

Ben pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, the feeling of finding out she liked something he liked overwhelming him. “We’re making you a character when we get back.”

Rey laughed again. “Alright. Would you mind stopping by my apartment before we go to your parents though? I’d like to grab some clean clothes and my phone charger.”

“Sure thing.”

It wasn’t long before they pulled up beside Ben’s Jetta in Han and Leia’s driveway. Ben could see the curtain in the front window twitch, meaning Cass had been on the lookout for him. His suspicion was confirmed when the front door flew open and Cass rushed toward the car, her arms flung wide. Ben quickly exited the car and ran to her, swooping her up and spinning her around.

Leia was in the doorway, watching them. She did not fail to notice the young woman getting out of the car too. She smiled when she saw Cass squeal at the sight of the young woman. This was obviously someone Cass knew and liked.

Rey came up beside Ben and hugged Cass while Ben held her in a kind of awkward group hug.

“Well well, doesn’t that make a lovely picture!” Leia called out. “Hurry up and get in here before your father finishes the pancakes.”

Ben walked up to his mother, Cass in one arm, Rey beside the other. He bent down and kissed her cheek. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, Sweetie. Your friends picked up their kiddos already.” Leia turned to Rey. “And who is this lovely young woman?”

Rey held out her hand, replying, “I’m Rey Johnson, Cass’ teacher.”

“Uh-huh. Just Cass’ teacher?” Smiling at Rey’s blush, Leia took Rey’s hand and shook it firmly before pulling her in for a hug. Over Rey’s shoulder, she mouthed to Ben, “I like her.”

Ben rolled his eyes and herded everyone back into the house. He could hear his father cursing at the bacon in the kitchen. Han made a mean breakfast, but not without swearing a couple times at the bacon for spitting at him.

“I better go help your father finish cooking. You all get settled at the table,” Leia said, still smiling.

“Yeah, in a minute Mom,” Ben replied. He waited until Leia went into the kitchen before he took Cass into the living room, setting her on the floor. He knelt down on one knee to bring himself eye level with her.

“Hi Uncle Ben! Hi Miss Rey!” Cass said, bouncing up and down, looking quickly from one to the other.

Rey was standing apart from them a both, wanting to give them space. “Hi, Cass,” she murmured quietly.

“Cass, I want to ask you something,” Ben said, somewhat seriously.

Cass stopped bouncing and looked at Ben, her head cocked to the side. “Ok,” she said trying to match his serious tone.

Ben smiled, chuckling quietly. “What would you think if Miss Rey spent some time with us today? And maybe some more days.”

Cass looked quickly at Rey, then back to Ben. Leaning forward, Cass whispered in his ear, “Are you friends? Is she nice to you? Do I need to get you ice cream because you’re friends?”

Ben pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. “No, you don’t need to get me ice cream. And yes she’s nice to me.” Ben looked over at Rey and held out his hand as he said softly, “And I think she’s more than my friend, but that’s up to her too, not just me.”

Cass looked at Rey again. “What’s more than friends?”

Rey walked up and took Ben’s outstretched hand. “Partners,” said Ben.

Epilogue: Two Years Later

Cass came up quietly behind her Uncle Ben. He was writing diligently in a notebook he used for D&D. He and Miss Rey met their friends every week to play, which meant Cass got to play with her best friends Marlo and Killian. They usually ended up watching the grownups though, offering very helpful advice, in Cass’ opinion.

Right now though, she was on a mission. Miss Rey had asked her to tell Uncle Ben something. Something important.

It was late, but Cass had had a bad dream and had seen the light on in Miss Rey and Uncle Ben’s room. The door was open, so it was okay to go in. Only Miss Rey was in there, sitting on the edge of the big bed, looking off into the distance. Her hair was messy, and she wore an old rumpled shirt of Uncle Ben’s and some leggings. She looked tired, but happy.

Cass liked having Miss Rey living with them. She made Uncle Ben happy, and she was so nice. Cass clambered up onto the bed beside her. Miss Rey had smiled and pulled her into her lap.

“Hi, Sweetheart. Did you have a bad dream?” Miss Rey had asked.

Cass had actually forgotten about her dream. She always felt better when she saw Miss Rey. “Yeah, but I’m ok now. Did you have a bad dream Miss Rey?”

Rey shook her head. “No, but I have something to ask you. Can you go tell your Uncle Ben something for me?”

And then Miss Rey had told Cass what to tell Uncle Ben. Cass had jumped off the bed and more or less ran to the living room.

“Boo!” she cried at him.

Ben jumped in his chair. “Jeez, Cass! What are you trying to do? Make me fall down?”

Cass giggled. “No. But I have to tell you something. Miss Rey asked me to.”

“Hmm,” Ben murmured. He lifted Cass and plopped her onto his lap. “I have something to tell you too.”

“You first, Uncle Ben,” Cass said. Maybe Uncle Ben already knew what Miss Rey had told her.

“What do you think about calling Miss Rey Aunt Rey instead?” Ben asked quietly, in case Rey was listening from the hallway. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and showed Cass the gold band with the modest diamond.

Cass squeed and hugged him around his neck.

“I take it you’d be ok with that,” Ben said, laughing.

“Yeah!” Cass exclaimed. This was perfect! It wasn’t the same as what Miss Rey, sorry Aunt Rey, had told her.

“What did you want to tell me?”

“Miss Rey, I mean Aunt Rey, wanted me to tell you,” Cass corrected.

“I’m sorry, what did she want you to tell me?”

“That there’s a baby in her tummy,” Cass whispered, afraid to say it too loud. She didn’t think babies could hear through people’s tummies, but just in case, she didn’t want to wake it up.

Ben’s eyes widened. He hugged Cass closer. He knew Rey had opted not to get another IUD at her appointment over a year ago, but the doctor had told her that she probably wouldn’t be able to conceive without assistive technology. Her ovaries were polycystic, which meant she didn’t ovulate regularly, if at all. Her periods were never regular; her cycles often lasted months. They had opted to just kind of see what happened.

“Are you ok, Uncle Ben?” Cass asked, concerned. He was holding her really tight.

“Yeah, everything’s perfect,” Ben replied, choking back tears. Everything really was. He stood and carried Cass to his bedroom. Rey was sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for him, her hands in her lap, her feet barely reaching the floor. She looked so nervous, a small smile on her face when she saw him approach.

Holding Cass in one arm, he reached out and cupped Rey’s cheek with his other hand, wiping a tear away with his thumb. She leaned into his touch and sighed happily.

Ben deposited Cass into Rey’s lap carefully, before crawling into the bed. He pulled them both to his chest, holding his little family close.

#reylo #reylo fanfic #modern au #reylo modern au #fluff #smut #fluffy smut #all the fluff #like it's a dandelion of fluff #kindergarten teacher rey #single dad ben solo #rey #ben solo #ben x rey #based on a true story

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