#100% open to corrections btw!! I'm working entirely off my previous experience reading 19th century novels and a couple of google searches

[brotherdusk]

I saw some people asking for a simplified version of mr bilder’s speech today so I made a quick stab at it! I hope it helps someone :)

"Now, sir, you can go on and ask me what you want. You'll excuse me refusing to talk of professional subjects before meals. I give the wolves and the jackals and the hyenas in all our section their tea before I begin to ask them questions."

"How do you mean, ask them questions?" I queried, wishful to get him into a talkative humour.

"Hitting them over the head with a pole is one way; scratching their ears is another, when rich gentlemen want a bit of a show for the ladies. I don't so much mind the first—the hitting with a pole before I throw in their dinner; but I wait until they've had their sherry and coffee, so to speak, before I try with the ear-scratching. Mind you," he added philosophically, "there's much of the same nature in us as in the animals. You came and asked me questions about my business, and I was so grumpy that if you hadn't given me a half-sovereign I'd have damned you before answering you. Not even when you asked me sarcastically if I'd prefer for the Superintendent to ask me the questions. Without offence, did I tell you to go to hell?"

"You did."

"And when you said you'd report me for using of obscene language, that was hitting me over the head; but the half-sovereign made that all right. I wasn't going to fight, so I waited for the food, and I howled as the wolves, and lions, and tigers do. But, Lord love your heart, now that the old human has stuck a chunk of her tea-cake in me, and rinsed me out with her old teapot, and I've lit my pipe, you may scratch my ears for all you're worth, and won't get even a growl out of me. Drive along with your questions. I know what you're coming at - that escaped wolf."

"Exactly. I want you to give me your view of it. Just tell me how it happened; and when I know the facts I'll get you to say what you consider was the cause of it, and how you think the whole affair will end."

"All right, sir. This is about the whole story. That wolf that we called Berserker was one of three grey ones that came from Norway to Jamrach's, which we bought off him four years ago. He was a nice well-behaved wolf, that never gave any trouble to speak of. I'm more surprised at him wanting to get out than any other animal in the place. But, there, you can't trust wolves any more than women."

"Don't you mind him, sir!" broke in Mrs. Tom, with a cheery laugh. "He's been minding the animals so long that bless him if he ain't like a old wolf himself! But there ain't no harm in him."

"Well, sir, it was about two hours after feeding yesterday when I first heard my disturbance. I was making up a litter in the monkey-house for a young puma which is ill; but when I heard the yelping and howling I went there straight away. There was Berserker tearing like a mad thing at the bars as if he wanted to get out. There weren't many people about that day, and close at hand was only one man, a tall, thin chap, with a hook nose and a pointed beard, with a few white hairs running through it. He had a hard, cold look and red eyes, and I took a sort of dislike to him, for it seemed as if it was him that they were irritated at. He had white kid gloves on his hands, and he pointed out the animals to me and said: 'Keeper, these wolves seem upset at something.'

"'Maybe it's you,' I said, for I did not like the airs he give himself. He didn't get angry, as I hoped he would, but he smiled a kind of insolent smile, with a mouth full of white, sharp teeth. 'Oh no, they wouldn't like me,' he said.

"'Oh yes, they would,' I said, imitating him. 'They always like a bone or two to clean their teeth on about tea-time, of which you have a bagful.'

"Well, it was a odd thing, but when the animals saw us talking they lay down, and when I went over to Berserker he let me stroke his ears same as ever. The man came over, and blessed but if he didn't put in his hand and stroke the old wolf's ears too!

"'Take care,' I said. 'Berserker is quick.'

"'Never mind,' he said. 'I'm used to them!'

"'Are you in the business yourself?' I said, taking off my hat, for a man that trades in wolves, etc, is a good friend to keepers.

"'No,' he said, 'not exactly in the business, but I have made pets of several.' And with that he lifted his hat as polite as a lord, and walked away. Old Berserker kept looking after him until he was out of sight, and then went and lay down in a corner and wouldn't come out the whole evening. Well, last night, as soon as the moon was up, the wolves here all began howling. There wasn't anything for them to howl at. There was no one near, except some one that was evidently calling a dog somewhere out back of the gardens in the Park road. Once or twice I went out to see that all was right, and it was, and then the howling stopped. Just before twelve o'clock I just took a look round before turning in, and, bust me, but when I came opposite to old Berserker's cage I saw the rails broken and twisted about and the cage empty. And that's all I know for certain."

"Did any one else see anything?"

"One of our gardeners was coming home about that time from a harmony, when he saw a big grey dog coming out through the garden hedges. At least, so he says, but I don't give much for it myself, for if he did he never said a word about it to his missus when he got home, and it was only after the escape of the wolf was made known, and we had been up all night hunting the Park for Berserker, that he remembered seeing anything. My own belief was that the harmony had gotten into his head."

"Now, Mr. Bilder, can you account in any way for the escape of the wolf?"

"Well, sir," he said, with a suspicious sort of modesty, "I think I can; but I don't know if you'd be satisfied with the theory."

"Certainly I shall. If a man like you, who knows the animals from experience, can't hazard a good guess at any rate, who is even to try?"

"Well then, sir, I account for it this way; it seems to me that wolf escaped—simply because he wanted to get out."

From the hearty way that both Thomas and his wife laughed at the joke I could see that it had done service before, and that the whole explanation was simply an elaborate sell. I couldn't cope in badinage with the worthy Thomas, but I thought I knew a surer way to his heart, so I said:—

"Now, Mr. Bilder, we'll consider that first half-sovereign worked off, and this brother of his is waiting to be claimed when you've told me what you think will happen."

"Right you are, sir," he said briskly. "You'll excuse me, I know, for teasing you, but the old woman here winked at me, which was as much as telling me to go on."

"Well, I never!" said the old lady.

"My opinion is this: that wolf is hiding, somewhere. The gardener that didn't remember said he was galloping northward faster than a horse could go; but I don't believe him, for, you see, sir, wolves don't gallop any more than dogs do, their not being built that way. Wolves are fine things in a storybook, and I daresay when they get in packs and go chasing something that's more afraid than they are, they can make a devil of a noise and chop it up, whatever it is. But, Lord bless you, in real life a wolf is only a low creature, not half so clever or bold as a good dog; and not half a quarter so much fight in him. This one isn't used to fighting or even to providing for himself, and more likely he's somewhere round the Park hiding and shivering, and, if he thinks at all, wondering where he's going to get his breakfast from; or maybe he's got down some area and is in a coal-cellar. My eye, won't some cook get a shock when she sees his green eyes shining at her out of the dark! If he can't get food he's bound to look for it, and perhaps he may chance to light on a butcher's shop in time. If he doesn't, and some nursemaid goes walking off with a soldier, leaving the infant in the pram—well, then I shouldn't be surprised if the census is one baby the less. That's all."

I was handing him the half-sovereign, when something came bobbing up against the window, and Mr. Bilder's face doubled its natural length with surprise.

"God bless me!" he said. "If it isn't old Berserker come back by himself!"

He went to the door and opened it; a most unnecessary proceeding it seemed to me. I have always thought that a wild animal never looks so well as when some obstacle of pronounced durability is between us; a personal experience has intensified rather than diminished that idea.

After all, however, there is nothing like custom, for neither Bilder nor his wife thought any more of the wolf than I should of a dog. The animal itself was as peaceful and well-behaved as that father of all picture-wolves—Red Riding Hood's quondam friend, whilst moving her confidence in masquerade.

The whole scene was an unutterable mixture of comedy and pathos. The wicked wolf that for half a day had paralysed London and set all the children in the town shivering in their shoes, was there in a sort of penitent mood, and was received and petted like a sort of vulpine prodigal son. Old Bilder examined him all over with most tender solicitude, and when he had finished with his penitent said:—

"There, I knew the poor old chap would get into some kind of trouble; didn't I say it all along? Here's his head all cut and full of broken glass. He's been getting over some damned wall or other. It's a shame that people are allowed to top their walls with broken bottles. This here is what comes of it. Come along, Berserker."