#100% my personality for the forseeable future

[dietchapstick]

The thing you gotta understand about aro/ace people is that a lot of the time, we're literally just people who don't want expectancies put on us for being affectionate. I want to express physical attraction to someone, call them cute, hot, or hell even get a cuddle in without having to essentially break someone's heart because I was supposed to fall in love with them. I want to express how much I love and adore people I care about without being expected to want to marry them or have sex with them. I really wish personal relationships had less stakes to them and there was less pressure towards the heteronormitive ideas of what you're supposed to strive for with people. I just love people. I love people emotionally, I love my friends, I have friends I'd happily live with for the forseeable future cause I enjoy their company that much. And I experience varying levels of attraction with different people. The idea that if I don't want to have sex with someone then they aren't attractive at all, or that if I'm not romantically obsessed with them they're undesirable, is so agonizing to me that I feel the need to associate with the label to use it as a literal flag that says "don't get too attatched" to filter out the people who are only interested in forming social connections for the single minded goal of having a romantic partner or having sex, or to clarify to people I care about that no, nothing wrong with them, I'm just like this. And those aren't bad things to strive for but if those are the only things you care about please do not come to me about it I don't want to feel like a bad person for turning you down. I'm tired of it. I already hate myself enough. The reason why not all aro/ace people are 100% romance/sex repulsed is because unfortunately we live in a world where the standard expression of affection is a binary; either you're friends or you're soulmates, either you're fuckin or you're disgusted by eachother. That idea is fucking stupid and we want you to know we don't agree with it. Because expectations suck total cheeks

[echoweaver]

New Year's Resolutions 2024

Thanks to @nocturnalazure for tagging me!

Also, anyone else I might've missed. 😢 I don't know if there's a way to distinguish being tagged on a post vs on a comment in tumblr, but it would be helpful when I know I was tagged a bit ago, but I don't remember by whom.

What's your resolution for your simblr?

OK, I guess I have some categories of goals.

Modding resolution: Release the Warriorcats Mod.

This mod is really close to done, but I'm in animation muck. I both hate seeing animations look bad AND I'm not an animator. For training interactions, I need multi-sim animations where one sim observes while the other acts, and when I tried to do this, I realized that I have a lot to learn before I can make this do what I want. I need one more good run in a geeky minset, and this thing will be read to at least release as beta.

This thing is bottlenecking other smaller mod ideas. I'm proud of it, and I want to finish it. But the turn of the year has been really bad for high-effort hobby energy.

For those who have sent me asks about this mod, I am going to say something that you should absolutely not apply any other modder, including me, for anything else. Bugging me about this (in a nice way!) is probably the best way to get it finished. Hearing from folks who use my pets mods makes my heart sing. Knowing that someone cares is the best source of positive energy I have.

It's a new year, and some very high-stress stuff in my personal life has improved. I know can do this in 2024.

In my points of low mood, I have wondered if there's even any point to finishing something this high-effort for a game this old. But, like Minecraft, TS3 never seems to die. 2022-3 was actually a modding renaissance. I have built some interest in TS4 at the end of this year, but it hasn't made me even a little bit interested in abandoning TS3. So I'm going to do my best to set that demotivating nonsense aside.

Gaming resolution: Finish the Samples.

I can't believe I actually wrote that, but it could happen in 2024. Generation 8 is starting in gameplay, and in a 10-generation legacy, this is the last "complete" generation.

I will never do another 10-generation anything. There are two many different and interesting

Blogging resolution: Catch the Wonderlands up to the present.

I stopped playing halfway through Gen 3. I originally started posting this challenge on tumblr during Gen 2 when I created this simblr some horrifying number of years ago. Gen 1 was all on Wordpress and is new to the simblr. I've been reluctant to play forward on the challenge until I can bring the simblr with it.

2. What do you want from the sims franchise?

Haha. That's a complicated question. I think I may always be a TS3 player at my core. I send retroactive apologies to every TS2 players I looked askance at ten+ years ago. With that in mind, I can't reasonably expect much of anything from EA on my core hobby.

My pie-in-the-sky dream would be a 64-bit update for TS3 on Windows. That's not completely impossible, but it doesn't look likely to happen.

I'm keeping an eye on Project Rene. EA has given a good sense that they learned from the player response to TS3 & 4, and 5 could be a good synthesis. OTOH, the PRIMARY ask I have from them is 100% offline play, and I don't have a lot of hope. Though EA made the commitment to offline play for TS4, they've been clawing it back by inches over the years, and they even quietly made it impossible to install fresly-downloaded TS3 store content on 1.67. I'm fighting hard to keep my TS3 game at 1.67 because I want to be able to play on airplanes and in places I simply cannot log in. I don't give a !@#$ whether EA can validate my license. They're making enough money. They can stuff it in their butts. So, with that said, I am just assuming that TS3 1.67 is going to be the core of my fandom for the forseeable future, but my mind isn't closed. If TS5 is otherwise awesome, I can branch out.

My biggest hope for the franchise is from the fandom -- that the TS3 modding renaissance will continue. We keep renewing this old game, and as it continues to be renewed, there continue to be amazing fun new ways to play it. Thank you folks so much.

3. Any other new year's resolution?

Getting my Hobbit fanedit accepted by the Fanedit Academy at fanedit.org.

Heh. So, I have a very long drama story about my fanediting hobby. I flamed off the fanedit.org community when I attempted to submit my first edit years ago (The Hobbit, which should surprise exactly nobody who has looked at fanedits). I was floored when, in 2023, I was contacted by the head of that site to apologize for that situation and ask me to resubmit. It appears that my treatment by the reviewers prompted him to clean house and build a more welcoming community. Wow.

So, now my very first edit is under review by the "Faneditors Academy," which is the primary way to reach new viewers and gain feedback in this hobby. The site leader is involved in my review, but one of the reviewers is one of guys who treated me badly the first time, and he's complex to work with -- there's an undercurrent of him trying to justify rejecting me without a review the first time. I am determined to see this review through to the end. I am very proud of this edit. Also, the feedback is definitely leading me to take it the next level.

But I'll be honest -- working through the criticism and revisions is one reason I haven't touched the Warriorcats mod in months. I need to clear my mind and my plate to really focus on addressing feedback, and the criticism level makes that draining.

[Sharing from personal life -- another reason my modding dropped off is that this winter my trans wife came out to my socially conservative parents. We are not disowned, but it's been complicated and emotionally draining. Lighthearted play with stream-of-consciousness commentary is about as deep as I've been able to go for months.]

[chaosintheavenue]

OC Interview! I was tagged by @orionlancasterr (thank you!), and it seems like a lot of people have already been tagged, so I'll just tag anyone who sees this and wants a go.

As usual, I'm going to fill this out for Trin, because my brain is still firmly stuck on her...

Trin

Name: Trinity Elloise Gant

Nickname: Trin (uses in 99% of situations), Trini (only to specific people)

Gender: Cis woman, but she definitely hasn't thought deeply into it, and I have a sneaking feeling things might change if she did

Star Sign: Cancer

Height: 5’6-ish

Orientation: Aromantic asexual and absolutely not interested in anything relationship-wise

Ethnicity: White (judging by appearance, at least), but she doesn't know anything more specific than that. She has no idea who two out of her four grandparents were, so a lot of her family background is a mystery

Nationality: I frankly don't know enough BoS lore to answer that question lol. She's been registered as a member of the BoS no less than three separate times, but I'm not sure whether she'd also technically be an NCR citizen from living with the California chapter? Also considered a member of the Ciphers, but there's no paperwork to show for it, so that probably wouldn't be counted as 'official' dual citizenship or anything. The one thing I do solidly know is that she does not consider herself- or anyone else born post-war- to be USAmerican

Fave Fruit: Cranberries!

Fave Season: Fall/autumn

Fave Flower: Any nuked flora- she loves the vibrant colours, even though they don't last long and gathering them isn't exactly a tranquil flower picking expedition

Fave Scent: Wood smoke, or the general scent of air at night

Coffee, Tea, or HC: Either coffee or herbal teas with flowers

Average Hours of Sleep: Varies wildly depending on current levels of Scorchiness

Dog or Cat Person: Cat (Juliet her beloved), but she's not averse to dogs and sometimes envisions herself owning one in the future

Dream Trip: I'm pretty sure this was the journey to West Virginia for her, which she's already done. She seems pretty intent on staying put there now for the forseeable future

Favorite Fictional Character: She's never had much interest in fiction, but recently Sofia has exposed her to a range of comic book heroes that she finds at least fleetingly interesting

Number of Blankets They Sleep With: Just her patch blanket

Random Fact: When she set out to buy herself a companion animal just before she first travelled to West Virginia, she was 100% intending to get a big dog for physical protection (and potentially name it Dogmeat, as is tradition), but quickly let herself get talked into buying a little kitten instead

[precuremusictournament]

Personally I was just surprised there was image songs for the whole groups,I thought it would be just each girl solos. But I prefer when it has more than one poll each day.

noted, thank you for letting me know! i will keep doing single minipolls a day for the moment because its honestly just the easiest, lowest workload and im doing a lot of packing/planning for the short forseeable future lol. so im going to take the easy route, as they say! but once this aberation in my schedule is cleared, i will 100% take the input into account

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

An off the wall question for a chaotic time in fandom - I appreciate that you're not weird about Taylor Swift the way a lot of people in this fandom are. I've always found it so interesting on a sociological level that two of the biggest forces in pop for a certain generation (1D and Taylor Swift) both happen to have big gay conspiracies around them (I could probably talk for too long about the influence of changing social attitudes and the emergence of social media). Obviously we're all in the fandom we're in because we do believe Harry and Louis are closeted, but if (stressing that if hard) Taylor were also closeted, i do wonder how the decision of one to come out would affect the other. (I know there are people on i think mostly tiktok and twitter who think there is some plan the three of them have together, I am... not one of those people) But I don't think Harry or Louis plan to come out any time soon, just based on their actions, so I guess the question is more, do you think a Taylor Swift coming out would affect Larry? either Louis and Harry's actual actions or even just the perception of Larry. I do feel like if one of those giant conspiracies was publicly confirmed to be true, a lot of people would look very hard at the other one.

That is a really interesting question anon. I have at times thought that there was a little bit of a house of cards element to celebrity closets, and a situation where one person coming out has implications for many others. Not just Harry and Taylor, but other non-straight men Taylor has dated.

So the first important thing is to think a little bit about modern celebrity coming out. I don't think it's very usual at the moment, for people to say I'm coming out now and I was never in those relationships I pretended to be in. Ricky Martin did it, but otherwise people who come out after performing heterosexuality tend to leave quite a lot of ambiguity. What went on between Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattison? Nobody knows for sure.

I think part of the problem with fandom discussions of coming out - is that the assumption for Harry and Louis this will mean telling a story of them being together since they were teenagers. There were always obstacles to that, Taylor being one. But it's very appealing to fans. And we've got a lot of evidence that it's a powerful and effective story.

But I don't think that's an option any more in the forseeable future and hasn't been since Harry and Olivia were papped being kissed on the boat.

Taylor is a master of telling and retelling her story - so I wouldn't put anything past her, including suddenly being like 'the love I was talking about for the last six years wasn't Joe, but a woman nobody knew exists and I have in fact always been a lesbian'. I don't think Taylor has only been with women, but whatever the truth is, I think it's very unlikely that Taylor will come out as someone who has only ever been in a relationship with women.

So I don't think there's any chance of either Taylor or Harry coming out in a way that made it 100% clear that their relationship was fake in the forseeable future (again I'm not making bets about 2043).

The other question is - if Harry came out as being in a relationship with a man, or Taylor came out as being in a realtionship with a woman, but still presented their previous relationships as real - would that have any impact on the other? And my feeling is that there would be some chatter or some memes, but it wouldn't be a major issue. But then that's just a vibe based guess.

[decepti-thots]

MTMTE/LL script project.

I am reposting an updated person of this post so I can maintag it for visibility!

tl;dr: I am attempting to digitize the MTMTE/LL scripts that exist for archival purposes to prevent any of them becoming lost media in the future. And I am looking for help in this!

The long version:

I am trying to get scans or clear, readable photographs of all the MTMTE/LL scripts that exist for the sake of digitizing them and making sure they don’t wind up lost media. (Needless to say, me currently trying to get ahold of fandom stuff from 20-30 years ago and constantly running into brick walls because nobody has scanned their copies of things got me thinking about this, haha.)

These scripts are, in a lot of cases, literally just printer paper stapled together and sold at cons to a very few people. I would hate to see these disappear in a decade or two because we all wound up forgetting where we left them, or stuck them in the attic and damp got them, or whatever.

Roberts has been selling nothing but spares/leftovers of these for a while now, including at this year's TFN, where he had very few left and none of them were new prints as far as I could tell. (Rusty staples!) In addition, he's said he does not expect to be doing more cons for some time. The one time he sold them online in 2020 or so, it was explicitly just old stock. So at this point, getting my hands on more for this project means either getting folks to kindly contribute scans or sell me their copies on.

(Sidenote: at the moment I'm not 100% sure if JRo has finished up selling these forever, though it seems likely for the forseeable given the above. Even so, I’m a little leery of making this stuff super public until such a time as he confirms he's got no future plans, because I hate to eat into a potential way for creators to make some well earned money off their own work if it turns out he’s gonna sell more later. This project is to make sure an archive exists as futureproofing, but I don't currently plan to immediately make this a massive public repository. But obviously, anyone kind enough to contribute can have access to the drive.)

Below the cut is a list of a) what I currently have, b) what I expect to have soon and c) what I know exists and do not have. If you have anything I don't, and would be willing to scan or photograph it to contribute, please let me know. Alternatively, if anyone has scripts I don’t already own which rather than scan they’re interested in selling on, hit me up. I am not made of money, but I’m willing to pay a fair price to get my hands on them if needed. Just be aware I’m UK based.

Unscanned, for me to do: Lost Light #6, This Machine Kills Fascists (standard)

Unscanned, being scanned by others: Chaos Theory

Scanned or photographed: More Than Meets The Eye #6, Interiors (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #9, Shadowplay Part One: Post Hoc More Than Meets The Eye #12, Before and After (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #16, The Gloaming (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #22, Little Victories (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #28, World Shut Your Mouth: Towards Peace (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #31, Twenty Plus One (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #35, The Custom Made Now (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #38, Elegant Chaos: Predestination, an Expert's Guide (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #39, The Permanent Revolution (annotated) More than Meets The Eye #40, Our Steps Will Always Rhyme (standard and annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #47, The Lopsided Triangle (standard) Lost Light #6, This Machine Kills Fascists (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #50, How Bright Their Frail Deeds (annotated) Lost Light #13, Sardines (annotated) Lost Light #25, How To Say Goodbye And Mean It: Part 2 (annotated) The Transformers Holiday Special, Silent Light/MTMTE #50 backup script (annotated)

Ones I am looking for and know exist: More Than Meets The Eye #4 (labelled #3), Life After The Big Bang (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #5, How Ratchet Got His Hands Back More Than Meets The Eye #14, Remembrance Day More Than Meets The Eye #21, Remain in Light: This Calamitous Life More Than Meets The Eye #35, The Custom Made Now (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #43, The One Where They Go To Earth (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #55, The Dying of the Light: Do Not Go Gentle

(Note: the scripts often have preliminary titles that differ from those above that were used for final issues. Also, for earlier issues, sometimes numbering is off by one, because projected issue counts shifted. The above is mostly guesses based on numbers JRo mentioned for scripts on Twitter and final issue names.)

You can contact me either here or on Twitter. And if you could let anyone know who you think could help and signal boost, I would appreciate it.

Thank you!

[andreabandrea]

18 1

18. what is something you can’t bring yourself to get rid of?

I have a small plush rabbit which is entirely orange. I got this when I was really little and aptly named it 'Bunny'. One time I left it behind at a truck stop on a road trip and only discovered Bunny was missing after about an hour and a half of driving. According to my mom, I was sobbing like nobody had ever heard before, so even though my dad was pissed at me, we turned around to get it. Bunny was still there, and I still have him to this day.

what’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

idk, "cis people don't spend all their time wondering if they might be trans"?

hm... here's something which is probably common knowledge, but it really surprised me at the time. When I was early in college, I remember an intro psych professor was talking about how tragedies color our perception of the future. Right after something tragic happens, imagine our level of pain is 100%. We're more likely to perceive that our pain level will always be at or near 100% for the forseeable future. In grief, we can assume that we will never be able to get over something.

In general, though, a person's experience with pain and grief related to a certain incident often declines. Something that was a 100% pain level to me a few years ago might be only a 10% pain level now. For other cases, I prefer to think of it this way: something very painful which I would think about 100% of the time one year ago is now something I only think about 10% of the time, and eventually it will be only only 1% of the time, and to a decreasing frequency. This is a generalization, not a rule, and it's based on a memory I had from like several years ago.

This is to say, whenever I'm going through something tragic, I try to imagine that I just need to hang on and eventually I'll be able to bear it.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Canadians can say all they want about healthcare, I'm a Canadian who recently (oh boy) started studying in the US and MAN trans healthcare is so much easier to access here. in Ontario I had to go multiple times to a clinic two hours away that specialized in trans healthcare because my GP refused to help other than referring me which took like two months. do like. three blood tests. and they OUTRIGHT REFUSED to start my transition until I filed the paperwork in person. during a pandemic. also their physical office was closed for the forseeable future. here I did a zoom call with PP, got my prescription the first appointment and did my first shot a week later, my insurance wouldn't cover it but it's like $100 USD for the whole shebang, the T was literally $30 total. idk about the rest of canada but in ON it's gatekeeping burocracy bs, fuck that shit.

~~~~

[ladytemeraire]

Some personal news: I am moving! Specifically, I'm in the process of buying a house, which is equal parts terrifying, stressful, and exciting. It still hasn't really sunk in, and I suspect it won't until after closing next month or the first payment I make on it.

I will not be posting the listing or any pictures from it here, for obvious privacy reasons, but I may post a few less-identifiable photos of the interior once I get moved in and settled. The house itself is just a hair over 100 years old but is in absurdly good condition, all things considered, and the current owners have replaced and updated quite a few things just in the last year or two.

(There is an enormous front porch and original built-ins and a small fenced yard and hardwood floors, y'all, I'm ridiculously excited.)

So yes, between this and the rest of life I will be extremely busy for the forseeable future, so please do not worry if I disappear for a day or three. I promise it just means the queue ran out and I will be back when I have the time.

In the meantime, excuse me while I go pack the entirety of 8 years of life in one location into progressively less-organized boxes. If you hear frustrated pterodactyl shrieking from the Midwest, it's fine, I'm just cursing myself for the size of my hobby stash and my love of physical books. Fingers crossed that the rest of this process goes smoothly!

[limafm]

it is with deepest regards that i announce that i will be closing LIMAFM for the forseeable future. as most of you know, i have started up the fall semester and that has already been taxxing on my time making me want to step away as admin. i appreciate anyone who was ever interested or enjoyed their time here at the rp, but i personally feel as if it's unfair to not put my 100% into a rp that i created and expect to gain that in return, but don't let this deter you! anyone is welcome to continue threads, create  1x1's, or if you're really dying for a group setting, feel free to use anything from the main for your own group! seriously, it’s free reign. these past two months have been so fun for me creatively, but i just am unable to give that any longer. perhaps in a few months when my school semester calms down i'll be able to reopen, but for now the main is closed. the discord will also stay open for members who just want to chat or hang or even if you still want to utilize some of those character chats! thank you to anyone who has ever applied or shown interest in this rp and an even bigger thank you to the 25 members who stuck it out with me on this crazy time. you’re the mvp’s!!

[butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker]

@wild-at-mind Well that's horribly depressing.

It is. I think, though, it’s important not to be naive to it or allow it to lead us to despair. 

My perception of Labour party strategy, basically, is that they have 100% bought in to the Sensible Guardian Columnist idea that all they have to do is get rid of Corbyn and the left, and they’ll win easily.

but this political center doesn’t really exist except in their very, very small bubbles. That’s why anti-Brexit, the Lib Dems, Change UK, all did negligibly in the 2019 election. They’d very much like it to exist, they think it ought to exist.

(as well as people who are ideologically center, there’s also more cynical ideas like - members of the party infrastructure just want to keep their jobs first and foremost, rather than winning or changing anything; or, in returning to a model of being funded by business interests and trying to please newspapers, the explicit goal is to maintain a status quo in which nothing can be changed; the theory that anti-Brexit campaigning only really existed as a stick to beat Labour with, exemplified by an anti-Brexit MP whipping to support a Brexit deal the moment he’s in power.)

Like, a lot of people who are now in the Labour leadership are the same people who (in one way or another) deliberately set out to lose in the last five years; I cannot relate to a person like that, I do not believe that any politics they have could have any value.

So there’s a lot of decisions happening like:

trying to alienate the left, because the left are very childish and not realistic (but 3/4 of the current fee-paying Labour members joined under Corbyn, and he’s the only Labour leader in my lifetime to increase vote-share and capture new seats)

BAME people overwhelmingly vote for Labour, but current Labour strategy is pro-police, anti-migrant, and courting the racist vote

Young people overwhelmingly vote Labour (26% think Starmer is a better leader, compared to 56% Corbyn), but current Labour strategy has no policies for them

A lot of shenanigans at the local Labour Party community organising level, most of which are tedious but sum up to - ordinary members having less voice, votes being rigged, leadership positions being chosen by people at head office, i.e. a sort of centrally managed plan rather than an organic ground-up approach

Not supporting Trade Unions

In every case, what’s happening is the Labour party saying to their actual current members and voters: “we do not want your vote”, in the hope that they’ll sweep the board with other people. 

But its a stupid strategy because - in my lifetime, centerist Labour have successfully lost Scotland, the north of England and north Wales. There are plenty of other parties for people to vote for, including not voting at all. / Labour’s brexit policy was a major factor in them losing the election. Starmer was in charge of that policy, so his ability to read the national mood is super questionable. / A landslide of Lib Dem voters ready to swap to Labour does not exist. / And as for Tories, well, you’re never going to out-Tory the Tories.

Starmer’s Labour has completely failed to like, read the room; because they’re so fixated on the fact that the student left are the problem, they haven’t considered realistic factors like - where the electorate lives (urban vs rural), the generational divide, a billionaire controlled media, the collapse of traditional trade unions, etc, and they haven’t noticed that the student left are increasingly people in their mid 30s.

So yeah, in short - it’s really important not to be naive to this, and think “what can I do with my money and time in the next four years that gets us closer to a kinder world”, because the current leadership of the Labour party would rather have a Tory government than a Left Wing one.

Momentum just released a strategy document which is quite good, although they’re still focused on the idea of pushing Labour leftward which - isn’t a bad hope, but I think probably an overly optimistic one. If you’re interested in parliamentary stuff, that’s the place to start. I’m a fan of a good strategy document, of organisations being objective about where they are, where they need to go next.

But like, the Acorn union for example will send you to form a line of defense in front of houses where union members are going to be evicted to prevent the bailiffs getting through; the Good Law Project is taking on transphobic court rulings; British Gas and the Royal College of Nursing are preparing to strike; Uber workers have been classed as employees, not contractors, after a court case; the local food banks are feeding people, trans heathcare mutual aid funds, this excellent HJ Giles longread on trans organising outside the system, the BLM UK fund which just distributed cash among micro-causes and community groups (iirc there’s a Black group currently fundraising to do judicial challenges on deaths in custody? which is an excellent strategy); and so on. Those are all non-parliamentary movements, that are making practical change happen, and they’re all providing much more effective & principled opposition than the Labour party now and for the forseeable future.

It’s a very all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us mood. That starts with being realistic about what this iteration of the Labour party will and won’t be standing for, & finding ways to fight for the gaps ourselves. There is absolutely reason to hope.

[seyaryminamoto]

Seyaryyy, it's been a "long" time since I asked you something spoilery about Gladiator =D.

... So, I was writing a pretty lengthy and detailed answer, switched to another tab for a second, and when I came back, my answer was gone and the tab had refreshed! :’D FUN.

... Okay. I’ll try to be a little more concise this time around. As the questions are pretty spoilery, I’ll hide them under the cut too :’D

My question will be about Zhaozula of course. That marriage will happen and things won't be so nice in part 3 in general.

But you mentioned that she won't be on bad terms with her husband all along.

So, will she try to find comfort on him with everything going on? Like accepting it and trying to make the best? Is he going to kinda fall for her or something like that?

And is Rei going to play an important role in part 3??

Sorry if it's too spoilery but as you know, this marriage is something I totally look forward to. I'm waiting for it since the 2nd reviews party.=')

Your wording of what I said about Azula not always being on bad terms with Zhao makes me think I either didn’t explain myself properly, or details of my plans have changed gradually since then...? Either thing is entirely possible, I must admit.

A quick search reveals that I said, 5 years ago, when you asked if they’d get ever along...:

Yeah, surprisingly, but prior to the whole marriage mess they will get along a little better, and will have to work together to resolve a particular problem. Zhao likes the idea of being some sort of mentor to Azula in regards of the Gladiator Business. Azula doesn’t like his behavior much when he gets like that, makes her feel underestimated, but she’s going to make the most of the advantages Zhao offers either way... so yeah, she will work with him when she deems it convenient or necessary. They won’t be BFFs, but Azula will grow to tolerate the man a lot more in the forseeable future.

All this is referring to Part 2 alone, I have to admit. While yes, a lot of my plans have changed and Zhao ended up being a lot more complex than I originally thought he’d be (so not everything in this answer applies 100% to what’s really in the story these days), back when I answerd this question I was referring to Part 2 alone, hence the brief clarification that “prior to the whole marriage mess” they’d get along better. This answer applies exclusively to things that would happen before they’re arranged to marry, not after (a lot of these developments are things we’ve already seen happen throughout Part 2).

Anyways, Azula has been in good terms with Zhao for a while now, since chapter 138 or so, and while there’s ups and downs, their relationship is honestly at its best through Part 2, by far. At the end of Part 2 it will start decaying again, and throughout Part 3 it will only continue to do so.

Without giving too much away, I can say Zhao will try to be generous with Azula in Part 3, to give her as much space as she needs, he will want to be patient so she can adapt to their new situation. And while being as nice as he can be, in such a not-nice-at-all situation, he won’t realize he’s playing into her schemes exactly as she needs him to. By the time he takes notice of this, it’s too late for him to do anything about it: the damage is done, and he isn’t pleased in the least that Azula manipulated him at will.

This will result in Zhao reacting rather adversely towards Azula, and their relationship goes downhill since then. Azula won’t really make any other moves against Zhao after this, won’t even try to manipulate him again, but Zhao won’t see her as someone who needs help anymore. Rather, he sees her as a threat and danger to himself, and every small move she makes, he assumes she’s making it to screw him over somehow, even if that’s not the case.

So... while I’m afraid you won’t really be happy with this answer, their relationship is really at its best right now, before the marriage arrangement even comes to anyone’s mind. Zhao will also take to doing certain things in Part 3 that I honestly don’t think you’ll be happy with... but it’s stuff that ties in with what little we know about his personal life at the moment, so I hope it won’t feel out of place since it’s what I’ve always planned. Either way, I can sum this up by saying Zhao tries his best for Azula at first, until he feels she took advantage of his kindness to turn him into a mindless puppet she was stringing about for her own benefit. After he reaches that conclusion, there’s really no amending this relationship anymore.

Hence, no, Azula never really is in a position where she would seek comfort in Zhao in any sense, for, at the point where he’s at his nicest, she’s at her darkest, and doesn’t want his kindness and consideration. By the time she starts to recover, she has already made her big move and Zhao becomes a lot more hostile towards her, so there’s no attempt to find comfort later on either.

If Azula hadn’t come up with that scheme, there could be a chance Zhao would develop some sort of emotional attachment towards her... but he really doesn’t see her as a romantic interest for himself, even if he can certainly admire her looks, but he’s really not that romantic a man in Gladiator. He outright told Sokka, back when he realized Sokka had feelings for Azula, that he should move on and find other people because he’s young and will get over it... 

“...there are other women, you know. I realize you may think she's the only one worth loving, if I were your age I would think the same, but part of growing up is accepting you can find the right girl at the right time, rather than to obsess with the same one forever.”

That was a slightly sneaky way of me to show what Zhao’s personal views of romance are. While there’s obviously a potentially romantic way to develop characters like these, by giving them a significant relationship with someone who will teach them to let go of their skepticism about true love and whatnot, that’s not what will happen with Zhao, especially because of what Azula’s schemes result in.

And the truth is, Azula’s schemes are the only reason why she agrees to the marriage arrangement at all, so... there’s really no possible happy outcome for this relationship in Gladiator. The whole thing is born in the worst of circumstances, between two people who are between reluctant and outright unwilling to be with each other, no matter if they were on good terms shortly before these developments happened... so I’m afraid it won’t be quite what you may have hoped it was. Sorry if my wording was confusing before, or if my plans have changed too much, but there really won’t be much in the way of positive development for that marriage, once it happens.

And now, as for Rei...

... Truthfully, I don’t want to spoil this, but Rei is going to become one of the first good things to happen to Azula in Part 3. The bond between them is seriously heartwarming for me, and I know it sounds weird that Azula will get along so well with Rei when I’m basically saying her relationship with Rei’s father will be a downwards spiral... but Rei, goes without saying, isn’t her father. What Azula already knows about her, at the earliest point in time in Part 3, is enough to establish an initially small bond that will grow tighter as the story progresses. 

Rei has had a very complicated life so far. She will serve to show a glimpse of Zhao’s nicest side... yet her very existence is also a highlight of some of Zhao’s nastier flaws. He has been quite kind to Rei and he’s very protective of her, yet... he’s also not kind enough, if that makes sense? He has always been distant with Rei, he’s not exactly a man who knows how to be a father (I mean... she’s serving as a maid at his household? That’s not quite what most people would do with their children, even if they are illegitimate, ESPECIALLY their only child...), so their relationship is already complicated: once Azula is factored in, it gets even more complicated :’D

I don’t really want to give away a lot about Rei, but she is veeeery important in Part 3. I will admit, her role in the story changed gradually -- I always conceived her as Zhao’s illegitimate child, but back when she first showed up (chapter 138) I honestly had no idea what her ultimate role would be. I actually ended up regretting briefly the idea of featuring her as Zhao’s illegitimate child since I thought it’d cause unnecessary drama, and I damn near backtracked on it, to feature her as just his maid and nothing more during Hahn’s Gambit... but then I pondered what Part 3 could look like if Rei, as Zhao’s illegitimate daughter, was part of the equation. And, boy... the result was magical. Thus, instead of backtracking, I went full-speed ahead with making Rei his illegitimate daughter... and here we are!

I seriously look forward to writing Azula and Rei’s relationship, it’s one of the things I’m most excited about in Part 3. While Azula’s relationship with Zhao will be very complicated and not in a cute way (at least, not for me? could be you’ll enjoy it anyhow, I don’t know xD), her relationship and dynamics with Rei are just wonderful to me. I’ve tried to contain my hype about her character, but people on Twitter have known me to suddenly scream “REEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” in completely out-of-context tweets just because she gives me too many feels whenever I think about her x’DDDDD I figure that will speak for itself regarding how much her character means to me (and to the story).

I hope this is a comprehensive enough answer for both your questions!

[reynesofcastamere]

Thrown Gauntlet[Ω]

(A/N: Sooooo....I’ve decided to start another series of fics that I will be marking with [Ω] in the titles: To disinguish them from both the main series (which I am still working on) and the [β] drabbles (which are all over the place in terms of timeline, setting, universe, etc.). Essentially a very self-indulgent AU where Savage, Maul, and Feral all get adopted by Clan Wren. This installment takes place in 20 BBY, so Ahsoka is around 16 and Maul is about 34. However. I want to state outright that the dynamic is intended to be a verrrrry slow build and that nothing romantic and/or sexual will be occurring between Maul and Ahsoka until MUCH later. If what I’ve described does not sound like your personal cup of tea, then by all means, feel free to give this fic and/or series a pass. This is getting a bit long, so to sum up: No trigger warnings, Obi-Wan is an Incurable Flirt, Rex is Flustered, and Maul is about 100% Done With Everyone’s Nonsense. Unbeta’d)  The Jedi Temple is buzzing. Not literally, of course, but Ahsoka can feel a strange vibration in the Force. Excitement, or maybe irritation? There’s definitely quite a bit more whispering amongst her fellow Jedi and the clone troopers she passes on her path to the east hangar. Master Anakin had told her to pack for a long trip, which she can only assume means they’ve been assigned another mission and he’s withholding the details so as to ‘surprise’ her appropriately. Typical Skyguy.

She spots Rex near the door, sans helmet. “Good morning, Captain.” A proper salute, quickly returned, though her tone is light. “Morning, Commander. And-er, yes, it certainly is.” He actually seems to be fidgeting a bit, and his face- “Rex, are you...blushing?” “N-no. No. Just-ah...Finished up my workout routine. Took more out of me than I expected. You know how it is; One day you’re all shiny-new and the next you feel older than General Yoda.” “Reeeeexxxx....Come on, whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

“The Clawbirds arrived about an hour ago. Captain Wren’s refusing to do much of anything until he finishes repairs on General Skywalker’s ship.” Rex caves, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Master Anakin can’t be too happy about that.” Ahsoka observes, knowing just how...particular he is about his personal projects. “Should I be worried?” “Er...maybe? It’s kind of a toss-up. Depends on whether M-” He begins, before a subtler voice cuts in. “Captain, there you are. I was hoping to speak to you.” The speaker is a male Zabrak with soft golden-yellow eyes and skin, the latter of which is liberally patterned in brown markings. Unusual enough, but he’s also clad in full Mandalorian armor, helmet tucked under one arm and carrying what looks like field medic gear along with the standard jetpack and arsenal of weapons. And he’s glowing; a defined Force signature radiating Light and positive energy like a solar lamp. How-? “Medic Sergeant Wren. They are still getting along, right?” “Oh yes. He’s in a much better mood than last time. Apologies, am I interrupting?” “Thank the Maker. And no, um. Commander Tano, this is Medic Sergeant Feral Wren.” Rex looks like he’s in danger of heatstroke with how red he’s gotten. It’s not hard to see why, especially when Feral gives a smile that could melt half the ice on Bahryn. Rather than salute her, he stretches his right hand out so that they can clasp forearms briefly, a greeting from one warrior to another. “It’s a pleasure, Medic Sergeant.” She smiles back. Ahsoka can’t help it. He’s just...She’s fighting the urge to hug him like some kind of stuffed animal toy. Which is bizarre and will most definitely not be happening anytime soon. “Tano...Oh, you must be ‘Snips’. It’s almost a shame Savage volunteered to help the younglings train, we’ve both wanted to meet you for some time now.” Wait, what? “Tranyc’vod [Sunny(star-burned) brother] Anakin hasn’t been able to call as often, but he’s very proud of your accomplishments.” Feral remarks, genuinely pleased even as her head spins with the implications. Her Master has a lot of explaining to do. “Speaking of which, I’d better not keep him waiting much longer. I look forward to talking to you again, though. See you later, Captain. Maybe you should ask the Medic Sergeant about those stamina issues you’re having?” She can’t resist ribbing Rex as she departs, watching him splutter as Feral, like any good medic, starts making inquiries about his ‘condition’ while looking him over. And placing a hand on his chestplate, apparently. Huh. Maybe her friend’s obvious crush isn’t quite as one-sided as she’d thought. Ahsoka navigates her way through the semi-organized rows of ships. Even if Anakin’s presence in the Force wasn’t abnormally strong, she doesn’t need to focus to find him. Not when he’s talking loud enough to be heard across half the hangar. “-last time, it’s fine! You’re just being paranoid, as usual.” “Every ship I have been forced to borrow from you has either crashed, suffered a critical malfunction, or was confined to the scrap heap mere hours after landing. No one is setting a foot on this poorly-constructed death trap until I am absolutely certain it won’t spontaneously combust mid-flight.” And that must be Captain Wren. He sounds...irritated, to say the least.

“My ships run perfectly, thanks. Must hurt that Mando pride, knowing a Jedi is a better pilot and mechanic than you, Captain.” She’s not quite within visual range yet, but she knows her Master is smirking. “How sad that as a Jedi, you cannot recognize your own failings, General. Perhaps you should conduct a survey of your ‘victims’ instead of this poor attempt at distraction. Mir’osik adiik be’kyorla hut’uun![Dung for brains child of (a) rotten coward!]-” “Ouch. What, did one of your horns get caught in the hydraulics?” “Hilarious. Make yourself useful by grabbing a towel, or something from Kenobi’s closet. I’m coming out.” “Ah, Captain Wren. I thought the general ambience had improved. What were you saying about my clothing?” She hadn’t been aware of Master Kenobi’s presence before this. Either he’d used a secondary entrance or had been waiting for his chance to join the exchange while the captain was busy. “Kenobi.”

“Oh come now, surely you can muster a more polite greeting than that. You’ve been away so long I’ve had to listen to recordings just to remember the sound of your lovely voice.” “Perhaps I will address you with respect when you learn to stop leering at me, besom [ill-mannered lout].” “Busted. Again.” “You’re not helping, Anakin.” Ahsoka rounds a corner and-Oh. Wow. How far down do those-? She blinks a few times, just to be sure of what she’s seeing. Yep, there is a very shirtless Zabrak with the kind of muscle definition that would make scores of artists weep standing with his back to her and wiping his face off with a towel. She desperately hopes that her jaw is not hanging open as he turns his head to survey her with one vibrant yellow tourmaline eye. She honestly doesn’t know if she wants to draw closer or back away in that moment. His presence in the Force is not a benevolent, harmless light, but rather a controlled fire that sparks and issues dark threads of smoke. This...Ahsoka doesn’t understand what is going on, and it’s starting to make her uncomfortable. “The spy finally shows herself.” He remarks, assessing and dismissing her as a non-threat within the span of a few seconds, continuing to wipe off whatever type of mess had been spattered on him. “Don’t mind him, Snips. Someone shoved a shock baton up his ass years ago and the medics never found a way to pull it out. Tragic, really.” Anakin Skywalker grins, arms loosely folded across his chest and leaning against the outside of his ship. “Ahsoka, this is Maul. We’ll be working with him and his people for the forseeable future.” It clicks suddenly where she’s heard both his name and that of his group before: Captain Maul of Clan Wren and his company are the only Mandalorian supercommandos who will actually work with the Jedi Council. At least, when they’re not busy with bodyguard or mercenary jobs. Part of that involves what is referred to -with some awe and a lot of fear- as ‘running the gauntlet’, a mandatory training course for any Padawans or Knights posted to or intending to spend a considerable amount of time in the barely-civilized regions of space. It’s been suspended since the war started in earnest, but if they’re going to be sticking around for a while...Well, the implications are pretty serious. And Ahsoka has somehow managed to ogle one of the most infamous hardasses this side of the Mid Rim. Fantastic. Really. Maul disposes of the stained towel and turns to face her properly, Ahsoka’s gaze staying determinedly on his face as they grip each other’s right forearms. He doesn’t pull back after a few seconds as Feral had, hand locking in place as he seems to peer into her soul.  “I will say this once. We are not like our evaar’la vod’e[young brothers]. We are not subservient to you, and I do not accept excuses or blatant disrespect.” A pause and a slight increase in pressure, just below the threshold of inflicting pain. “Are you ready, Ahsoka Tano?” “Yes, Captain.” She answers with a certainty that she can feel in her very bones, and is rewarded with the hint of a wry smile when he lets go. Well that’s...something. Master Kenobi clears his throat pointedly. Right. Mission briefing first. Sort out her feelings later. Still, she can’t help but look forward to whatever comes next. (A/N: *cracks knuckles* Well, that’s the first installment. A little vague on the details, but I’m hoping to elaborate on what’s been hinted at here relatively soon. The name of the supercommando company comes from the Legends novel Maul:Lockdown by Joe Schreiber. And yes, for fellow Rebels fans who are reading this thing: In this AU, Sabine and Tristan get three badass Zabrak-hybrid uncles and a fair amount of adopted cousins. (Which is entirely Savage’s doing.) I do believe that Anakin is a gifted mechanic, but also couldn’t resist the running joke of ‘Skywalker’s ships/anything he tinkers with only work for him and Artoo’. Cheers!) 

[bergarachan]

maid | chapter 01

maid: a shyan fanfiction by femmebergara

read on wattpad or on ao3!

rating: T (so far)

Trigger warnings: None (if you are triggered by anything in this chapter please let me know and i will update this for you!)

Summary: ryan signs up for a job to take care of wealthy land owner's son, shane madej. feelings and shenanigans ensue.

Chapter 01 | the new maid

"Not to be rude, sir, but I look stupid." Ryan said, looking at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a maid dress. A maid dress. And Ryan was a boy. The dress was black and white, with a bowtie at the top and frilly towards the edges.

The butler, Brent, shrugged. "This is the outfit that Mr. Madej requested for you, sir. Mr. Madej is quite impatient. If you don't wear it, you could be fired on the spot."

That shut down every plan Ryan had to get out of this stupid dress. He had signed up for this job because he was okay at tidying and looking after people, yeah, but especially for the money. This job offered Ryan a $200 per week. Per week! That was crazy compared to all the other jobs he had serving at restaurants and helping out customers at retail stores. Ryan would never consider himself a man if he was fired from a job on his first day. "Okay..." Ryan concided. Maybe he could convince Mr. Mark Madej, the owner of the huge mansion he was now to work at, to give him something more... modest. Hopefully it's not because Mark is into some gross kinky shit.

Ryan was dragged out of his thoughts when a tall, thin, but intimidating man walked into the room. His eyes widened considerably large at what Ryan was wearing and Ryan would have laughed if he wasn't scared of this man already. This must be Mark Madej.

"Is this our maid?" He asked Brent, slightly bewildered, and Brent nodded.

"Yes, sir, this is Ryan Bergara. He is the man you chose to be Shane's personal handmaid." Realization seemed to cross Mark's face. "Oh. I thought you were a woman." A woman? Do I look like a woman? Ryan had a bunch of snarky replies he could have said but instead he just stuck with, "No, sir. I'm a boy." Well, technically, he had just turned 19, so he was a man, but still.

"Usually only women apply for these sorts of jobs..." Mark trailed off, seeming deep in thought for a moment before turning to Ryan again. "This is the outfit all the maids at this household wear, that's why you are wearing that. If I had known you were a man..."

Thinking his job was in jeopardy, Ryan was quick to reply. "No, no, sir! I mean... it's not... what I expected..." Shit, shit, say something smart, Ryan. "But I don't hate it! It's comfy, so... I can deal." Uh.

"So, would you like to stay in this outfit?" Mark asked politely. "Uh... yes, sir." What? Ryan, are you fucking insane?  "Maybe only until the weather gets colder?" Better. But still: What the fuck.

Mark nodded. "That seems doable. Sorry for the mix-up, Mr. Bergara." "I-it's alright, sir."

"Good. You start tonight, 6pm sharp." Mark nodded to Brent to leave, and Brent nodded back at him and left the room curtly. He turned back to Ryan. "I'll be leaving the country for work tomorrow, so it will just be you, the workers, and Shane. I have given you the sheet for his daily schedule. Saturdays are off-days. Make sure he doesn't leave the property without your assistance." "Yes, sir." The beginnings of a smile appeared on Mark's face. "Good. Your room is around the corner, up a flight of stairs, and to the right. Make yourself at home." "Thank you, sir."

Ryan picked up his luggage and quickly headed up the stairs and to the room marked "handmaiden's room" outside. Ryan realized that he was, technically, the maid. No matter if he was a boy or a girl, he was still Shane's personal handmaiden. He didn't know how he felt about that but he assumed he would get used to it.

Shane. Ryan did not know much about Shane himself, he just knew that Shane was his age as well, 19, and was Mark's only son. The other maids and butlers spoke about him as if he was mysterious, and it sparked Ryan's curiosity.

All thoughts about the landowner's son vanished when he opened the door and stepped into his room.

The room was an off-white, with a large bed. The curtains were white and wispy. In the corner there was a rack with multiple coats. There were paintings of the wall, Ryan assumed of other Madej family members. He opened the door behind the rack to reveal a closet, and Ryan let out a sigh of relief. He had brought all the money he had with him. Maybe if he had any free time he could buy some formal working clothes? Hopefully it would be allowed.

In the corner, there was a seating area, maybe where Ryan could lounge and possibly eat his meals.

Ryan smiled to himself as he put down his bag. He was happy with his living space, especially if the pay was good (and it was, 100%). This job would be a fresh start for him.

He glanced at the clock: it was almost 5pm. He had an hour to get ready for dinner with Shane. He had to unpack, shower (because boy, worrying about this job made him work up quite a sweat), make his hair look presentable, and run down to the dining room. Ryan took a deep breath. Okay, Ryan. Your first good job. You are capable of this. You can do it.

And with that, Ryan figured out his next goal: getting out of the damn maid dress.

____

It was five minutes 'til 6, and Ryan was almost ready to go. He had showered, done his hair, and he put on the maiden dress, deciding that while it wasn't ideal, he honestly didn't hate it. Who knew? Just because he was a little chilly, he threw on a baby pink sweater and practically ran downstairs.

While doing so, he barely looked where he was going. His heart was racing and he just wanted to make it to dinner he just wanted to make it-

thud!

Ryan knocked into another person from behind, almost knocking him over. Ryan gasped and stuttered out an apology, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" The person turned around.

He was a boy, around Ryan's age. He was tall, very, very tall. He was fairly skinny but the way his muscles showed through his blazer told Ryan that he was not weak, either. He had a long nose, light brown hair, fair skin, and sleepy, brown eyes that had flecks of gold within them. Ryan would be lying if he said the boy wasn't attractive.

Ryan didn't realize the two of them were frozen, staring at each other until the boy broke the silence. "You must be my new maid." Oh. It was Shane. This was the boy he was supposed to look after for the forseeable future.

Ryan gaped at him for a moment before coming back to his senses.  "Oh, yes, hi, I'm Ryan. I'm your new personal handmaid." He held out his hand to shake, but Shane just stared at it, before taking Ryan's hand in his and not letting go. Then he started to continue back down the stairs, leading Ryan with him. "Oh, uhm, okay." Ryan said dumbly. His heart was beating a mile a minute. Shane's hand was warm and soft. Ryan decided to continue talking. "I know you kinda expected me to be a girl, so... sorry about that." Shane turned to look at Ryan as they continued down flights of stairs. "I don't care. I like you." Ryan blinked.

"You... like me?"

"Of course."

"Oh... well, okay." Shane liked him. He had barely said a word! Hopefully being friends with Shane would be easier than he thought.

They entered the dining room of the manor. It was very large, with a long table. A tall, pink-haired man was waiting for them, standing by two seats with a tray of food. Shane let go of Ryan's hand and went to sit at the head of the table, and Ryan followed.

They sat down, Shane at the head and Ryan ajacent to him on the seat next to it, and the man holding their food spoke. "Hello, sir." He said to Shane, and Shane said, "Hi, Steven."

Steven then turned to Ryan. "Are you the new maid?"

"Yes," Said Ryan politely, "I'm Ryan. This is my first day on the job."

"I like him," Said Shane.

"I'm the cook here. Nice to meet you, Ryan!" Steven seemed quite happy to have a new coworker.

Dinner was served, and Ryan and Shane ate. Ryan had to admit, the food was incredible. Steven was an amazing cook. Shane told Ryan that he loved to be outside, watch movies, and read books, while Steven stood by the two and made commentary on what they were saying. Ryan thought that they were both very funny, and allowed himself to giggle a bit at their jokes. Ryan told Shane about his life at school before getting the job moving into the manor. Ryan was quite content with how things were going.

As the two finished eating, Steven said, "Shane, go up to your room. It is time for your study period."

Shane frowned. "But I want to stay here."

"Shane..." Ryan said softly, and the two turned to him. "You should go. It's only for half an hour, and then you have free time until curfew. How does that sound?" At that, Shane brightened a little.

"Okay," He said, "I'll go." Ryan smiled as Shane got up and walked off.

Steven turned to Ryan in disbelief. "Holy crap, dude." "What?" Ryan asked.

"He agreed with you so easily. Usually he puts up a fight." He sat down at the seat next to Ryan. "Shane.... has never really had much social interaction, so sometimes he acts a little wacky, but we all love him, so we put up with it. Hopefully your presence here will make him a little more tolerable."

Ryan smiled weakly. "Yeah... hopefully."

Steven returned the smile. "You're free to go to your room if you want. Make yourself at home. I'll call you when Shane is done with his study period, and then you are to report to his room and spend time with him. Does that sound okay?"

"Sounds perfect. Thanks, Steven."

"No problem."

With that, Ryan got up and headed back to his room, flopping down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling with a big sigh. Wow. What a day.

Ryan washed his face and dressed comfortably. He picked up one of his favorite books that he brought with him to the manor, laid down, and started to read. He was excited to see Shane again. He couldn't wait what the future at the manor would hold.

[authorwithissues]

Well they passed on me and quickly lmao. He said on the phone that he'd decide next week but maybe he was just trying to spare my feelings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just because I'm interviewing for another job while on the clock at my current job doesn't mean I don't deserve a nap (also on the clock)

[moonbeammuses-a]

long ramble/update/thing

// honestly all this bs anon hate has me conflicted. like, I dont owe ANYONE an explanation for anything, and at the same time, I am concerned that the things being said may be spread to others, and they are the sort of thing that would be easy to convince others of. Combine that with my massive anxiety and current run of depression, health issues, and panic disorder acting up, and youve got me sitting in front of my PC chewing my nails off and trying to decide the best course of action. 

I have been accused of stealing characters. From whom? Television shows, not other RP-ers. While that sounds ridiculous at first, the manner of the accusations are what concerns me, as on the surface it is, as I said, the type of accusation that would be easy to convince someone of. 

For now, I will say this: Every single one of my OCs are just that, MY Original Characters. I have never, would never, and will never, steal another person’s character, canon or otherwise, and claim them as my own. The characters I am being accused of stealing are ALL characters that were collaborated on with other people as they were developed, and I DO have people who will vouch for me on that if necessary. I put love, care, and time into every character I create, and it is sickening to me that someone would accuse me of blatantly copying existing characters for my own credit and use. 

If ANYONE has questions about the origins of ANY of my muses, please, PLEASE feel free to ask so I can gush about them and the ideas I had as I created them, and what inspired me to make them, and everything. I LOVE talking about my original characters, and I believe it is the lack of discussing them that has led to these misconceptions. I think I will make a poitn in the future to post more drabbles/headcanons/ficlets of my OCs to publicly flesh them out and help avoid these issues. 

I will NOT be responding directly to the anonymous (or non-anon) asks regarding these accusations, but will be screencapping them for my records. 

The anon feature has been, for the forseeable future, turned OFF on my blog. I apologize for anyone that this inconveniences. If you are ever out of asks and would like me to respond to a meme, you are 100% welcome to send it to me via IM and I will draft a response for when I am able to answer it. 

For the time being, this is the last I plan to say regarding this issue. I want to put the negativity behind me and have my blog focus on positive interactions between myself and other muns, not this drama. 

Thanks for reading, i love you all ♥