#10. I am incredibly confused because we’re INDIAN

[folskydope]

there ain’t no way bro. i think moon knight inadvertently caused me to uncover my family history

[highwaydiamonds]

Some Kind of Alphabet Tag

So, I was tagged for this by the super @beloved-ghasts-books!  Thanks for the tag, Dan!  I appreciate it very much.  Sorry it took me a long time to get to this. I appreciate your patience.

Rules - copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in your own. when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person that tagged you….most importantly, have fun!

a / age - 40

b / biggest fear - Seriously?  I have to rank them all now?  There are a lot of them- let’s just say the biggest one would mean dealing with them all at once.

c / current time - 10:23 (I have a free day today)

d / drink you had last - Water

e / everyday starts with - me groaning at having to get up (I am the antithesis of a morning person)

f / favourite song - That changes daily.  I am not great at favorites.  Right now My Bubba’s “Knitting” (which is incredibly short - like 48 seconds???) is hitting the spot. 

g / ghosts are real? - Logic tells me no.  Feelings tell me...  Maybe?

h / hometown - Central Ohio

i / in love with - My dogs and Hope for a brighter tomorrow

j / jealous of - People who have their shit together on multiple fronts, people who know what they want and are brave enough to get it, and people who are together with those whom they are in love.

k / killed someone - Sure, all of the people whom my bad jokes have slain.  My terrible puns have killed legions, some from laughter, most from excruciating abdominal pain.  

l / last time you cried- overnight.

m / middle name - My mother’s maiden name.  Sorry. I don’t give it out.  It’s too much of a unique identifier.  It’s not a common name.

n / number of siblings - None. Sorry, I’m an only child. 

o / one wish - To figure out what I want so I can actually try to work on making it happen.

p / person you last called.texted - My friend Gale

q / questions you’re always asked - Are you sure?  (no, of course I’m not sure.  I’m never sure of anything... except that i might be running late, sorry.) 

r / reasons to smile - I’m not dead yet....  Art, puppies, music, chocolate, unicorns, friends, books, makeup, the sound of laughter bubbling up out of you when you forgot you could laugh, freshly washed sheets, my favorite perfume, creme brûlée, frost covered branches, the way my dogs wag their tales in sleep ...  How long have you got?  I could keep doing this one for ages.

s / song last sang - I’ve been back on “ She Used to Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles for the last few days.  Just when I thought I was done with that one, BOOM!  It came back again, and well, here we are.  Me humming and singing it all the time when alone. 

t / time you woke up - a long time ago now. 

u / underwear color - multicolored - but mainly teal 

v / vacation destination - Oh man.  So many places.  I want to go back to Europe mostly (back to the Uk - to the lakes and scotland and back to london...  and to Italy - all over italy really, and France, and back to Germany and Spain.  I’ve not been to Scandinavia at all..  I’d love to go to New Zealand, and Japan, and Fiji, and Thailand, oh and Bali (because of a great anthropology book I read a long time ago), and parts of Cambodia, Egypt, and i’ve never sen parts of Canada)  I’d also love to do a really cool train trip - I’ve never really travelled by rail much and I think that could be great...  Oh and I have friends who have been to China and that looks amazing.  The world is wide and wonderful - there’s so little I have seen and have so much yet to see.  The last of place to not go is much smaller 

w / worst habit - Laziness and letting myself collapse into my fears (which are many)

x / xrays you have had - Uh....???  Head ones for teeth, feet, arm/wrist...  i think that’s it???

y / your favourite food - Probably ice cream if we’re talking sweets, and if we’re talking savory stuff it could be any one of a number of Indian curries (generally I end up liking some norther stuff more, but not always) or Biryani (tho usually my favorite is lamb biryani.  Sorry my vegetarian friends.)  

z / zodiac sign - Scorpio (or kind of Sagittarius.  It’s kind of complicated & confusing.  I take it all with a huge block of salt anyway.)

Tagging (no pressure- only if you WANT to):  @kandidlyrandom (I dunno if you got tagged already Kim but I didn’t see Dan tag you soo..... You’re fair game! ;D ), @shinynessie, @perpetualvisionary , @stubbornbliss, @charlie-andbooks, @charlotte-bird, @haybop-86, @pugsrmypatronus, @illgiveyousunshine, @sphinxsmiles & @chibi-artguardian

[namaste-cna-blog]

Day 98

“Yeah, so our train has an 11 hour delay…”

After a month off, we’re back on the road. As gluttonous as it may sound, the last few weeks have been like a holiday within a holiday, so I am very glad to report that once again we have caught a train to a nowhere town, within which, according to the Rough Guide, there is “nothing of interest”. Good old Jalgaon - crossroads of India, home of sweet FA. Expecting to see Harriet and Domhnaill waiting for us at the hotel, we were monumentally unsurprised to get a message from them saying their train from Agra was going to be leaving very, very late, so after a few errands we did what any sensible person would in such circumstances, and went to the pub. The next morning we went to meet them on the platform, a mere 17 hours behind schedule, bundled them into the shower, and got us all some brekky to prepare us for a full day of sightseeing at the Ajanta caves.

Despite some confusion about the shuttle bus to the caves (we each paid 10 rupees for an “amenities” ticket before getting on, which we assumed was the bus ticket but which turned out to have absolutely no obvious purpose), and despite the absurd sales technique of the local tat hawkers (Claire did her best haggling yet by simply telling one guy - several dozen times - that she really didn’t want his crappy earrings, forcing him to drop his price from Rs50 to zero, at which point he discovered she was telling the truth when she said she wouldn’t take them even if he were giving them away), the caves are breathtaking. There’s a series of 26 ancient temples and monasteries, carved - entirely by hand, of course - out of the volcanic rock on one side of a horseshoe-shaped gorge, adorned with detailed Buddha figures among various other features (all part of the bedrock as well, so each cave is a monolithic sculpture), and painted with amazingly vibrant scenes from myths, legends and everyday life. It really is astounding how well preserved the paintings are, given they’re about 1500 years old, but the humidity brought in by visitors (as well as the camera flashes brought by the idiots who can’t read) is clearly having an impact, and one of the caves is given to a display showing the conservation techniques that are used. Altogether, a fascinating day.

And yet, even that failed to prepare us for the following day. Fortified by a sumptuous dinner the night before, served by a suspiciously jolly (drunk?) restaurateur who threw all our menu choices out of the window and told us what we really wanted, we dodged the touts at the bus station (no, we don’t want your rickshaw; we don’t care if you think the bus won’t leave for another hour; oh look, the bus is leaving straight away, you were lying, what a surprise) and got on our way to the Ellora caves, about a hundred or so kilometres down the road from Ajanta.

Good Lord, these are incredible - probably the most extraordinary thing I’ve seen since arriving in India (and man, have we seen a LOT of cool stuff). While we were all impressed with the exquisite paintings at Ajanta, it’s the sheer scale of the caves at Ellora that just beggars belief. The things are enormous. We spent the day exploring monasteries with two or three storeys connected by tunnels and frighteningly steep staircases, wandering around refectories that extend more than 50m into the cliff-face, and gaping in awe at life-size statues of elephants that are themselves dwarfed by carved pillars of victory and temples reaching high into the sky, except that they’re actually only reaching up to ground level because - and this point bears repeating because it’s the ever-present thought that makes the whole experience so mind-blowing - all these vast edifices were dug out of solid rock by hand.

We were pretty tired after all that, so we headed for the beach. This involved a quick (ha!) train journey to Mumbai, which followed the usual rules of Indian Railways punctuality, a short stop in a weird bar that appeared to have been designed by college frat boys, an overnight “sleeper” bus journey - the less said about that joyous experience, the better - and the standard overpriced tuktuk ride to our homestay in Malgund. For the next few days we lay on the totally deserted but beautiful beach, ate delicious thali in the only restaurant in town, and sat around fires until we got told off (no-one mentioned that we weren’t allowed on the beach after 10pm, although it was probably very clearly stated on one of the signs in Marathi/Hindi/not English). While abundantly relaxing, it was an object lesson in the drawbacks of finding an almost-completely undeveloped stretch of coast - there was nowhere to buy a Frisbee. No doubt, in a few years time Malgund will look like every other sleepy fishing village in the tropics that has been cursed/blessed with miles of sandy coastline and palm trees, but we felt very privileged to swim in the sea away from the crowds you’ll find on the beaches in Goa and other places further south. Bliss, but take our word for it because you’ll ruin it by coming here to find out for yourselves.

Shithead score: Andy 33, Claire 39

Condition of cards: Pure plastic pack largely unchanged since last update. Addendum: Our latest donation - a pack of cards not exactly designed with travel in mind, each being a simply hilarious 10 inches by 6 inches - will not go unreciprocated, even if it takes a few years (best served cold, naturally); giant cards currently suffering minor fraying and minor, yet debilitating, ingress of wet sand from beach play; returned to England via brother.

6th century graffiti, Ajanta

What you get when you hire cowboy cave temple sculptors, Ajanta

May as well put it to good use, Ajanta

Eating alone again?, Ajanta

Om etc., Ellora

Bloody hell…, Ellora

Just another gorgeous sunset, Malgund

[moviesbarelyreviewed]

The Best of 2017

So it’s been two years since my last post on this here blog. There are may and varied reasons for this, but I won’t bore you by getting into them. What’s important is that I’ve still been seeing movies, still been thinking about them, and still been telling everyone I know to see the ones I love. And so I hope that this post will get this blog back in business, though I hesitate to make any promises, given that I am now a first-year law student, meaning that a) There’s a very good chance I won’t have the time to keep up with this blog and b) I’ve learned that making promises can sometimes inadvertently bind you in an irrevocable contract, which could prove very costly for me down the road (don’t ask me how, I still don’t understand contracts). 

Nevertheless, it’s the end of the year, so I’ve made my list of the year’s best films, and I want to share it with you all. As always, I couldn’t see every movie that came out this year. I used to say that I was only an amateur film critic of dubious reputation and professionalism, but I’m not sure I can claim even that title at this point (see: it’s been two years since my last post). So before you all start banging down my doors, complaining that I left your favorite film off my list (this has never happened, but I like to imagine that I’m important enough to where it would), I’ll note up front that I have not seen The Last Jedi, I, Tonya, The Shape of Water, Call Me By Your Name, and whatever film you’re thinking of right now, probably. But with that being said, I’ve seen many of the year’s big contenders (shoutout to a/perture Cinema in Winston-Salem, NC, for allowing me the opportunity to see some smaller films that I couldn’t catch in any other theater) and I feel comfortable in saying that this is a fairly comprehensive list. Like in the past, I start the list with number 11, because there was just one film I couldn’t leave out.

11. Raw (Julia Ducournau). I really think that we’re living in a golden age for horror films, and if you don’t believe me, well, note that the first three films on my list are all horror movies. The first is Raw, an ice-cool, coming-of-age shocker from French director Julia DuCournau. I feel confident in recommending most of the other films on my list to just about any moviegoer out there, but I can’t say the same for Raw. This is, quite simply, not a film for everyone, which is completely fine. The story follows teenage vegan Justine (Garance Marillier), who goes away to veterinary school and is forced to eat meat as part of a hazing ritual during her first week. The new taste opens Justine up to some other... new tastes, though I hesitate to say more for fear of spoilers. Suffice it to say, this movie has at least three of the most memorable scenes of the year. You can probably guess from this description alone that squeamish viewers need not apply. But those who can stomach the story’s taboo twists will find an intelligent, sensitive, and provocative tale, solidified by a killer soundtrack and a fearless central performance from Marillier.

10. Happy Death Day (Christopher Landon). There’s something to be said for a movie that is impeccably crafted, brilliantly acted, and profoundly impactful. But there’s also something to be said for a movie that isn’t any of those things, but is still fun as heck. Happy Death Day, the horror-thriller from director Christopher Landon, certainly falls into the latter category, but I think it more than deserves a spot on this list. Making a great genre film is often harder than making a great original film, because most everyone who sees genre films is familiar with their tropes and not looking for something they’ve already seen before. Happy Death Day manages to rise above those genre pitfalls, however, primarily due to its central gimmick which, albeit, it apes from films like Groundhog Day, Edge of Tomorrow, and even this year’s Before I Fall. Newcomer Jessica Rothe stars as Tree, who begins the movie as an obnoxious, stuck-up mean girl. We know, of course, that she is about to learn some important lessons. Unfortunately for Tree, though, she has to learn those lessons by, well, being murdered.... a lot, until she is able to uncover the identity of her masked killer. Like the aforementioned Edge of Tomorrow, Happy Death Day wisely doesn’t take itself too seriously and has a lot of fun with its circular time structure. Indeed, I found myself laughing throughout this movie, because it’s just such a blast to watch. Even though some of its third-act twists are utterly ridiculous, it doesn’t matter because the movie has already strapped you into its roller coaster ride long before. And as far as roller coasters go, this movie is as breathless as they come.

9. Get Out (Jordan Peele). Get Out is unquestionably one of the defining movies of 2017. Even though it came out in the first quarter of the year, it has stayed in the minds of moviegoers and critics alike, which alone is a tremendous accomplishment for director Jordan Peele. If you still haven’t seen Peele’s twisted tale of a black man (Daniel Kaluuya) who finds himself enduring figurative (and possibly literal) hell while spending a weekend with the parents (Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener) of his white girlfriend (Allison Williams), you’re in for a truly original, unforgettable experience. Sure, the shocks and twists are effective, but what takes this movie beyond the level of a traditional genre film is its button-pushing topicality. Chances are it’ll make you squirm long before its supernatural scares come. It’s no wonder that it’s the movie everyone has been talking about for months on end.

8. Wind River (Taylor Sheridan). Director Taylor Sheridan made a huge splash just last year with his screenplay for the unlikely Best Picture nominee, Hell or High Water, and with Wind River, his directorial debut, he deserves to make an even bigger one. Like Hell or High Water, Wind River is a neo-western, though not a conventional one. It’s set on an Indian reservation in Wyoming, where wildlife tracker Corey Lambert (Jeremy Renner) is the only white man for miles, a fact which plays both a provocative and potentially problematic role in the movie’s plot. When a young Indian girl from the area is brutally murdered, Corey is called upon by FBI agent Jane Banner (the excellent Elizabeth Olsen), a city-slicker who is out of place on the reservation, to say the least, to help her navigate the community and investigate the crime, a task which eventually forces Corey to exercise some painful demons from his past. Although there is a hint of white saviorism in how the plot unravels, the movie’s lasting message is a poignant and pressing one about the current state of Native Americans in our country. Sheridan deserves a lot of credit for telling a little-told story with grit and honesty, and the actors certainly do their part as well, particularly the great Native American actor Gil Birmingham (who was brilliant as Jeff Bridges’ partner in Hell or High Water) as the father of the murdered girl.

7. The Lego Batman Movie (Chris McKay). I honestly didn’t think I could love 2015′s The Lego Movie any more... and then I saw the Lego Batman Movie. Despite a new director and the element of surprise having worn off, Chris McKay’s follow-up to The Lego Movie somehow reaches the impossibly high bar set by its predecessor. It does so mainly by not deviating from what made the first movie so successful: quirky characters, fast-paced humor, and beautifully detailed Lego environments. Will Arnett reprises his role from the original as a particularly narcissistic Batman, trying to protect Gotham from the likes of the Joker (Zach Galifianakis), Harley Quinn (Jenny Slate), Bane (Doug Benson), and many more, all while trying to deal with Dick Grayson (Michael Cera), the teenage orphan that he has accidentally adopted. As in the first film, there are as many jokes for adults as there for kids, and as in the first film, the movie has a heartfelt message at the core of its kicky and occasionally silly goings-on. There may come a point when these Lego movies wear out there welcome... but we’re not there yet. 

6. Dunkirk (Christopher Nolan). So apparently some people thought Dunkirk was boring? I must confess, I am in the exact opposite camp. I was completely riveted by Christopher Nolan’s often unbearably intense war epic. Like most of Nolan’s movies, Dunkirk doesn’t spoon-feed its audience by dumbing things down. Instead, we’re expected to sift through the movie’s huge cast of characters and occasionally confusing time structure with little help from the filmmakers, which I, for one appreciated. But even if you can’t get your mind around everything going on in the film, it’s hard not to surrender to its incredibly immersive effect. I’ve rarely felt so embroiled in the goings-on of a movie as I did when watching Dunkirk. It proves that there are still many great war stories to be told, and many great directors willing to breathe new life into history.

5. Baby Driver (Edgar Wright). Like the Simon and Garfunkel song from which it takes its title, Baby Driver is as slick, cool, and effortless as movies come. Director Edgar Wright has yet to make a bad movie and, in Baby Driver, he borrows much of the visual panache and witty dialogue displayed in his great 2010 film Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, but this time targets it at... those of you who probably thought you were too cool to see a movie like Scott Pilgrim. Cool is something this movie certainly doesn’t lack. For those who haven’t seen it, Baby Driver is the story of a teenager named Baby (Ansel Elgort), who supports himself and the old man (CJ Jones) he shares an apartment with by working as a getaway driver for a band of bank robbers (Jon Hamm, Jamie Foxx, and Eiza Gonzalez are the robbers, Kevin Spacey is their leader). But when Baby falls for a good-hearted waitress (Lily James), he’s forced to choose between her or his wayward lifestyle.... which of course isn’t as simple as it sounds. As you might expect, Baby Driver has some truly epic action sequences, but what really gives it added style points is its brilliant use of music. Baby syncs all of his getaway drives up to classic rock songs and, as a result, the movie is a sort of musical-action hybrid rarely seen on the big screen. It needs no saying that the songs, from Queen’s “Brighton Rock” to Focus’s “Hocus Pocus”, are all perfectly chosen for their particular moments. No one else today is making movies like Edgar Wright. But they should be.

4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh). If you’ve ever seen one of Martin McDonagh’s films (or plays for that matter), you’ll know that the man likes his humor as black as coal. Three Billboards, his latest, certainly doesn’t deviate from this trend, but it also has an emotional heft and modern-day relevance that perhaps In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths lacked. The rather clumsily titled film is set in a small Missouri town where Mildred (Frances McDormand) has recently lost her daughter to a brutal rape and murder that has left the community shaken. Frustrated by the perceived lack of effort in investigating the crime on the part of the local police, Mildred buys three large billboards on the edge of town and arranges for three different, but all damning messages to be painted on each (the most pointed of all reads “How come, Chief Willoughby”). But Mildred’s bold act doesn’t win the favor from the townsfolk that one might expect. That’s because the chief of police (Woody Harrelson) is a universally-admired family man, who is seen as the misplaced object of Mildred’s ire. Complicating matters even further is racist, firebrand cop Jason Dixon (the always incredible Sam Rockwell), who threatens to send Mildred over the edge with his untamed aggression. For my money, this is the best acted movie of the year. No one in the rich ensemble, which also includes John Hawkes, Lucas Hedges, Caleb Landry Jones, and Peter Dinklage, gives anything but their best. Even more impressive is McDonagh’s screenplay which is both brutally funny and brutally sad. His characters are some of the most believably complex I’ve seen in a long time. The moral ambiguity that all of their actions are subject to is not unlike real life itself. As much as I’ve enjoyed McDonagh’s films in the best, Three Billboards is an exciting step forward for a director already near the top of his game.

3. Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig). Come on, you guys new this would be on here. I mean, seriously, it’s a coming-of-age dramedy directed by Greta Gerwig and starring Saoirse Ronan. I don’t think I could write a better sentence than that if I tried. Now sure, I’m a sucker for these types of movies, but I think the overwhelming critical acclaim for Lady Bird (peep that Rotten Tomatoes score) proves that, at least this time, my hype for this movie is justified. To be fair, I think Lady Bird does lack the intense emotional impact of a film like The Perks of Being a Wallflower or The Spectacular Now, which keeps it from being a complete home run for me, but that’s probably by design. Yes, the movie is profound and often moving, but it’s also funny and whimsical in ways that those movies aren’t. Indeed, it has a lot of the quirky, shaggydog charm we’ve seen in recent films starring Gerwig, like Frances Ha or Mistress America. This time, though, it’s Ronan who stands in for Gerwig and, if there was any doubt beforehand, she proves that she’s the finest actress of this generation. And yeah, she’s only 23. Her performance here as Lady Bird, a strong-willed teen clashing with her parents (beautifully played by Laurie Metcalf and Tracy Letts), while experiencing her first relationships (Lucas Hedges and, later, Timothee Chalamet play her suitors), is yet another peerless turn in a career already chock full of them. Although I think Frances McDormand, in the above mentioned Three Billboards, gives arguably a better performance than Ronan, I’m rooting for Ronan to get the Oscar, because it’s long overdue. And that’s really all there is to say about Lady Bird. This wise, funny film hits basically no wrong notes and, though it’s hard to imagine how Gerwig will top this one, I can’t wait to see her try in the future. 

2. The Disaster Artist (James Franco). The Disaster Artist is my favorite film of the year, but, for reasons I will explain shortly, I went with a different film at the top of this list. As for James Franco’s hilarious and inspiring film, however, I simply couldn’t have enjoyed it more. The Disaster Artist, based on the book by Greg Sestero, is the scarcely believable, but undeniably true story of Tommy Wiseau (James Franco), a bizarre man from some unknown Eastern European country (though he swears he was born in New Orleans), who sounds like Dracula and looks like the lead singer of a death metal band, and his 2003 film “The Room” which has become a cult classic of Rocky Horror proportions, primarily because it may well be the single worst film ever made (though don’t tell Wiseau). The Disaster Artist also tells us the story of Greg Sestero (Dave Franco), Tommy’s friend and roommate who starred alongside Wiseau in The Room. Like Tommy, Greg is an aspiring actor, but unlike Wiseau, he’s a clean-cut, all-American guy that seems to have at least a little bit of acting talent. The Franco brothers strike a great dynamic in their scenes together, but the real highlight of this movie is its depiction of the filming of “The Room.” If you’ve seen “The Room,” which I had, I think you can appreciate these scenes even more, but even if you haven’t, there’s much to laugh, gasp, and marvel at. The real achievement of The Disaster Artist, though, is the way it rewrites this narrative. Though there are a lot of laughs at his expense, Wiseau is an oddly inspiring figure, a man who, despite what everyone told him, had a dream and achieved that dream with nothing but a lot of passion (and, ok, a lot of cash that we still aren’t really sure of the source of). That’s a story we can all relate to.

1. The Florida Project (Sean Baker). The Disaster Artist, like I said, is my favorite film of 2017. The Florida Project, at least at this point, falls just short of that title because I’m still on the fence about the ending of Sean Baker’s film. I’ve gone back and forth on how I feel about it, but I think I need to see it again to truly decide. Nevertheless, I think the fact that I’m still thinking about this film, which I saw months ago, speaks to its power, and that’s why I’m choosing it as the best movie of 2017. The tale of Moonee (the delightful Brooklynne Prince), a mischievous 6 year old, and her mother Hailee (newcomer Bria Vinaite, in a stunningly brilliant performance) is an uncompromising look at poverty in America that still brims with vitality in every shot. Much is owed as well to the work of director Sean Baker, who brings the kitschy motel where Hailee and Moonee live, to life, in eye-popping color. And let’s not forget Willem Defoe’s lovely, warm-hearted performance as Bobby, who runs the motel and gives Moonee and Hailee break after break, despite his best instincts. The Florida Project will put you through the emotional ringer, especially in its climax, but the thing which struck me the most is how true this film is. It’s as essential as it is gripping, giving a voice to a group of people who are rarely heard from in today’s political landscape. And despite its unflinching realism, the movie is ultimately hopeful, and fully invested in the very premise that explains why movies endure into 2017: a little imagination can make anything seem possible. In 2017, I think that’s a lesson we all can all take heart in.

-PSH

[ingreezy]

Awkward Moments While Traveling: Part 6

Traveling isn’t always fun. Sometimes it’s awkward, frustrating, or even makes you fear for your safety.

This post is dedicated to all those unpleasant times.

My friend Elly joined me during my last week in India. Aware of my travel style: glackpacking (glamorous backpacking LOL..I️ just made that up), she was up for staying with Indian families and taking local transportation. I️ advised her to take a backpack, since India is not a destination for a rolling suitcase, as it will most likely get filthy.

On our very last day in India, we were supposed to take a train from Jaipur to New Delhi, a 162 mile journey, where we would part ways on different international flights.

I️ kept hyping up Jaipur, telling Elly that among all the cities we were going to, this would be the place to shop. Oh and shopping we did, especially Elly. We left some of our luggage in New Delhi, so we each had one big backpack and a small duffle bag to share to pack souvenirs. The duffle bag was quickly filled, so Elly had to squeeze everything else she bought, into her backpack.

Early that morning, as we made our way down the stairs of our Air BnB to catch an Uber to the train station, Elly slips and falls. She had mentioned numerous times before that she was not good with stairs.

She yells out in pain and grabs her ankle.

I️ quickly rush to her from the top of the stairs. I️ lift her right leg up and try to move her ankle. It felt incredibly loose. Something was definitely wrong.

Thinking it was a sprain, we get in the Uber and make our way to the train station. I️ help Elly into the car first, then load the luggage. As I️ lift her backpack, I drop a little on my side. I️ couldn’t believe how heavy it was!

We drive to the train station, but decide to turn around and go back to the Air BnB. Elly couldn’t walk, and she was not capable of boarding the train.

It was six in the morning, and I️ didn’t want to ring the doorbell, so I️ decided to message our hostess for help. A few minutes pass and I️ couldn’t wait for a response, so I️ began googling “Best private hospital in Jaipur.”

I️ pick the hospital with the highest rating and call an Uber.

We are driven to the hospital within 10 minutes. Personnel saw me struggling to walk with Elly, so they came out with a wheelchair. First red flag: the guy did not put on the brakes as Elly sat down, which is basic putting-someone-in-a-wheelchair knowledge. They wheel her down the hall through a set of swinging doors, then remove their shoes. I leave mine on. It’s a fucking hospital. Who knows what kinds of germs and diseases are on the floor?!

We go past a second set of swinging doors into a room with patients and doctors. I am yelled at for my shoes, so I go back, remove them, and tip toe into the room in my socks (Whatever I could do to minimize the germ exposure). Immediately, I see discarded bloody bandages underneath an empty bed. I look away, trying to shrug it off and focus on what the doctor was saying. After a few questions and a look at Elly’s ankle, the doctor tells us they are unable to treat her there as the hospital only does internal medicine. Wtf?! He escorts us outside and says transportation is coming to take us to a hospital with a trauma center.

Minutes pass and finally a rickshaw appears. A rickshaw, really?! I angrily yell “How is she going to get up on that tuk tuk?!” The doctor ignores me and speaks to the driver in Hindi, as Elly is lifted into the rickshaw.

Whatever. Let’s just get to a motherfucking hospital.

We arrive at a dusty building surrounded by several people sitting outside on the floor. I’m thinking: Are they homeless? Are they waiting to get into the hospital? Elly and I look at each other, unsure if we should go in. I insist that we continue. We’re already there.

Elly is transferred onto a rusty metal stretcher, with no padding, and wheeled into a room to see a doctor. The hospital is quiet and she seems to be the only patient around. After a quick assessment, we are told to get X-rays. But first, registration.

I grab Elly’s passport and follow a staff member to a counter at the front of the hospital. It’s dark and it appears no one is there to help us. The staff member peers over the counter then slaps his hand on top of it loudly, two times.

A young man sits up from behind the counter. Hair disheveled and wearing a confused look on his face, he looks at the staff member and me. He gets up and sits on a chair in front of a computer. They speak in Hindi, and the registrar motions for me to give him the passport in my hand. He types in some information, hands me back the passport and we return to Elly and the doctor.

Elly is wheeled to the X-ray room and placed onto a table. The X-ray technicians remove everyone from the room. After the first X-ray, a technician goes back in and I follow him to see what’s going on. Elly gets my attention and whispers that there is dry blood on the table. I look and see her foot laying on top of a dark brown stain. Oh hell no. We look at each other in disgust and kind of laugh. We’re in such disbelief that at this point, it’s just funny. The technician tells me to get out because X-rays are very dangerous. “Well, what about the patient?” I kept asking. Again, I was ignored.

Elly is left alone in the X-ray room. Next door, it’s just me and a bunch of technicians in white lab coats. They pass the X-rays amongst each other, giving their opinion. Even the guy wheeling Elly around takes a look.

X-rays in hand, Elly is wheeled back to the doctor. A second doctor has now appeared. With unkempt hair, and a glazed look on his face, he sits with one leg up on a chair. He glances at the X-rays and tells us Elly’s ankle is fractured and that she’ll need surgery ASAP. We simultaneously say “No,” “No, thank you.” He tells us he can discharge her on a cast. We immediately agree.

The staff member wheels Elly to another room. There are bags of casting powder scattered all over. The counters and floor are covered in white powder. A wide-eyed man looks at the X-rays and says Elly won’t need surgery (Everyone seems to think they’re a fucking doctor.) Two staff members now assist us. One holds up Elly’s leg (which hasn’t been cleaned or sanitized), as a cast is being put on her, and the other guy just kind of stares at me. Creepy.

Once the cast is complete, we are taken outside the hospital with the two assistants and the man who did Elly’s cast. They signal to a nearby rickshaw driver to take us home.

We look at each other. We were not given a bill. The entire hospital visit was free. (Don’t worry, we tipped them.)

On a rickshaw back to our Air BnB, Elly and I recall in amazement what just happened. I tease her, reminding her that she was put into a cast with dry blood on her foot.

She tries not to think about it.

Back at the Air BnB, we book an Uber to take us all the way to New Delhi. I had a flight to Japan that night and Elly would be going to her home country of Singapore, where she will get a second opinion, and finally get her foot sanitized.