#1. he would let tav do anything as long as it only involved him 2. hes a FREAK. and a chef. he'd let you lick maple syrup off him.

[dansnotavampire]

gale would let you stack donuts on it

[paganwitchisis]

The Unexpected Adventure

Chapter 1: Farm Animals and Books

Pairing - AFAB Female Tav/Astarion

Word Count: 3,303

Rated: Explicit

RATED 18 PLUS!!!

Summary: Set after The Pale Elf quest line in late act 3, what happens if spawn Astarion and female Tav, who are in an established relationship and in love end up swapping bodies by accident? Hilarity, arguments and misadventures await. There is plenty of smut and adventure as there is more than meets the eye and growing pains all around as the pair figure out how to cope while their friends help them as best they can. Look forward to some twists and fun!

Warnings: Smut, Smut and fluff, body swap, brief snippet of violence (fight), unknown pregnacy, protective and soft Astarion, blood (drinking)

This story is multiple chapters!

Chapter one - you're on it

Chapter 2 - coming next week

AO3 link is here

Story:

Tav was never a morning person, but the past few weeks could convert her to change her mind if the mornings she had were anything like the ones she had shared since Astarion’s declaration of love and murder of his former master. It was like something had come over the man. He took her to the graveyard one evening, told her he wished to start living again, and that he loved her. They made love for the first time that night, not fucking, or moments of him struggling with disassociation, but real and genuine love. He was vulnerable and soft, their touches and kisses were entirely different than the trysts in the clearing and on the way to Moonrise. The last time they even had sex before the graveyard was on the very day of the confession, and although they experimented slowly and on Astarion’s terms, they never went the full way. That didn’t mean Tav would be left wanting, of course.

At first, she tried to hide it and sneak away, but he knew. On the third time, when she thought he was in a trance, and she tried to quietly leave the tent to take care of herself, them both more or less living in the same tent by this point, he held her down and kissed her. Imagine her surprise when he spoke to her and said how much he was aware, even though she thought she was being proactive and trying not to put pressure on him. He never wanted her to have to run away for natural urges, and although she profusely reminded him she could abscond, he wouldn’t have it.

After that, he wanted to share in her pleasure any way he could, even if he had to keep his trousers on. It started with her being encouraged to alleviate the issue with him there, and while he kissed her or fondled her chest when he later became comfortable so they could still share in the moment. She was still concerned about teasing him and his very obvious hard-on after any of their situations, but Astarion would just smile and say that she shouldn’t worry about it. Eventually, they made their way to mutual masturbation, and once in a while, he would even feel up to tasting her. Of course, when that would happen, it was usually because of a dream she would have, and she would wake to his head between her legs in the dark of their tent. She would try to tell him that he didn’t need to do anything, she loved him and valued his company, but he would just tell her that he wanted to do this. He liked tasting her. He liked the noises she made. It never took her long to come when his tongue was involved. Only once did he jerk himself off and finish, aiming in her mouth. The closest he let himself get to allowing her the pleasure of relieving him was before confronting his old master. All of this even made Tav worried Astarion was pushing himself too fast and too much, but it seemed like he wanted to do this when pressed. Other than those times, he was open with her, relaxed and felt safe with her. More often than not, they would watch the stars or share a bottle or wine while reading and propped on each other in privacy. They stole every chance they could to remind the other how much they meant. Tav, frequently, would remind Astarion how much she cared about him and loved him, regardless if it was because of nightmares she helped calm him through, or simply just to remind him he was special.

Tav was, of course, surprised when she was brought to the graveyard and told how much Astarion had loved her as well just a day after they freed him from his old master and he got his revenge. Not just that, but he want to take the next step in their relationship. He wanted to live. He wanted to be with her completely with everything he had, and although she wouldn’t have the thought of making love on his grave to be their first place to share their first intimate moment, the meaning wasn’t lost on her. It only dawned on her later that this was most likely the first time her lover had ever made love in general, considering how he couldn’t remember who he was before his old vile master turned him and took everything from him, including his autonomy. It had been a couple months since Moonrise, but so much had changed and so much more since.

Since the evening in the graveyard, Astarion has rarely kept his hands to himself. For that matter, when Astarion relents and allows her to, neither can Tav when she is allowed the chance to give him the untold pleasures he deserves, that she wants him to feel what he deserves. He still was too used to giving without thought to himself. Giving her a couple orgasms before his cock was even free of his pants or touched and at times he still hesitated when the offer was given for her to taste him as well. The concept that she wanted him to feel good was hard at first, he wasn’t used to lovers ever caring what he wanted, but slowly he was coming around to it. Astarion, a few days in, was tired of her asking for permission to touch him, even though she still did at times just to make sure he knew he could say no. He told her that she was the only person who he felt safe with. The only person he trusted, and so, one day she brazenly tried something. She was scared how it would be perceived but just in case she began kissing her way down his chin and neck, making a loving and soft way to his cock which, by the time she got to it, was hard to the touch. By the sounds he was making, she suspected he was awake and not trancing, but his eyes remained shut.

That morning, she gave him pleasure between his legs and did so lovingly, languidly so his build up wasn’t worrisome but comforting. When her name tumbled from his lips she found herself visibly relaxing, even more so when his hand rested on her head which guided her down on his cock at a faster pace. That morning he came down her throat and near her womb, his fangs nestled in the crook of her neck. It had surprised the both of them, honestly. He usually wasn’t one to finish twice, that was something he did to her, but Tav kissed him tenderly again and reminded him how much he deserved before they got a sensual bath together, as they had a private bathing chamber in their room, a boon no other room had. The pair were kissing and playing with the soap/shampoo a little too much as Tav spiked Astarion’s hair in wacky ways (in which Astarion tickled Tav in retaliation). They eventually relaxed in each other’s arms before heading out to dangerous missions for the betterment of the city.

Of course, when they were exploring Baldur’s Gate, it didn’t stop the couple from enjoying each other’s presence and loving each other, still. The bedroom intimacy may have stopped, but that didn’t mean they didn’t stop showing their affection. Astarion was always on the team and always was with Tav, even if a couple others found it nauseating at times. Some, like Karlach, thought it was sweet and reveled in their love. It probably helped she was on the team just as much thanks to her skill set and being good friends with Tav, not to mention well liked (even if he didn’t admit it outright) by Astarion. Generally, that left another opening for a spellcaster. Usually Gale for offensive magic or Shadowheart for healing as she tended to miss her targets more than anything else. Tav loved her friends, but both herself and Astarion got frustrated with how often the cleric missed. It even became a drinking game, but nobody dared to tell the woman, considering she usually kept them all alive.

Sometimes things were funny and at ease when on missions while out in Baldur’s Gate or the surrounding area of Rivington, like the time Tav was asked by a farmer’s wife to stop her husband from cheating. Tav had half a mind to turn her down as domestic issues weren't really her specialty, but when the wife promised a chest she couldn’t get open that was found by a stablehand before they died to the Absolute, it was an entertaining prospect. Considering they were in Rivington, it could be any number of things, anything from a magical item to moldy food. Tav was curious what was in it. She had Shadowheart in her party at that point, so Shadowheart only sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose, stepped forward and asked where he was. The wife pointed at the barn and Shadowheart, without missing a beat used a spell Tav was unfamiliar with. That was no surprise of course considering Tav was a fighter, however what she did notice was the cow, the goat, and the man had a pink glow.

“Shadowheart… What’s going on?” Tav asked in front of the wife, although from a glance, Tav could see Astarion with a wide grin. It seemed he knew but her questioning expression wasn’t answered, at least not vocally. Astarion just took her hand into his and gestured his head to their favorite, or only cleric.

Shadowheart walked towards the man but not far from the group and the wife as the man, now aware of the glow, turned and regarded the group and the situation.

“Oi! What’s going on ‘ere?” The man demanded with an accent or twang.

“Congratulations. You’re disgusting.” Shadowheart stated and shook her head as she looked at the barn animals. “Look, everything that has a glow is tied to you for the same reason we were asked here. Apparently, you can’t keep it in your pants for even the livestock.”

The wife, to her credit, looked horrified while Tav took a deep breath and placed her free palm on her forehead as if she was already done with the situation as much as Shadowheart was. Astarion came around behind her and kissed the back of her ear before whispering; “Notice the wife isn't glowing.”

“That just makes this worse…” Tav whispered back which made Astarion chuckle.

“Now,” Shadowheart continued which drew Tav’s attention back to her. “unless you want everyone you’ve ever slept with to find out how much for a cheating asshole you are, I’d suggest you cut the crap and either stick to your wife or figure out something between you both that works… preferably keeping the damn animals out of it.”

It was at this point, the man who was out of shape, and short compared to Karlach who now flanked Shadowheart in an attempt to provide support realized his situation.  “You… you can’t! If Carl finds out I was with Suzy, he’ll…”

“You were with who?!” Surprisingly, this outburst came from the wife who now marched over and grabbed a pitchfork off the side of the building. “Get the hell off my land! If the lord finds out what you did to his daughter, we’re all screwed, you idiot! Go! Leave!”

Tav watched, stunned, as the wife chased the cheating man away while Astarion struggled to keep his laughter under wraps, his arms now circling Tav’s waist as she put her hands over his, their bodies flush together. Astarion eventually just let it out and began a full laugh, a sound that was sweet to Tav’s ears as the wife made her way back, the pitchfork mysteriously missing although Tav was unsure where it went.

“Well, a deal is a deal, and you may have saved me more than you know.” and with that, the wife ducked inside the house a moment before returning and dragging a chest. The chest looked to be between small and medium, so it held potential, but thankfully Karlach picked it up before the group began heading back to the Elfsong. Astarion was going to open it there, but Tav stopped him. She didn’t want it opened in front of the wife when for all they know it could have riches or valuables they could be set upon for in the middle of the street. It was best to get back first before seeing what was inside.

“You just want to see my hands work in private.” Astarion whispered for her ears to hear only. Tav just gave him a salacious smile that only he could see, before quickly changing her expression and seeming innocent as Karlach looked back at them both as they walked back to their rented rooms.

“Come on, you two! Both of us are all the way up here. No smooching ‘till you get back.” she teased, but once her head turned, Astarion quickly reached over and pinched her one ass cheek playfully which earned a yelp. Karlach turned her head again but Tav played it off very well.

“Shadowheart, what was that spell? I never saw it!”

“It’s a spell I usually reserve for bards, which thankfully we don’t usually have…unless you count Volo. Which I don’t.”

“I don’t get it.” Tav admitted as she held her lover’s hand, lest it pinch her other cheek while Karlach roared with laughter.

“You know? Because bards have a reputation for sleeping around? Well…the guys do…the ones I know who are guys do” Shadowheart explained while Astarion and Tav made their way to joining the group.

It didn’t take long for them to get back to the Elfsong, and soon, they were in the large communal room where Tav and Astarion used to sleep with the other companions. After the situation with Cazador, the inn gave Tav just as good a deal on the room her and her lover shared next door considering how there was a murder in that same room shortly before their group came into town and no one wanted to rent from them yet. Karlach put the chest down and Tav sat on the couch behind Astarion who crouched down to get to work on the tumblers on the chest. Tav was joking about his hands initially with Astarion, but she couldn’t help the appeal and being drawn to watching him work. Tav wished she was half as good with her hands and a lock as he was, considering how easy this man made things appear. His long slender fingers and the strength behind them were deceptive. His hands could do more magic than a mage’s in Tav’s opinion, considering how versatile he was.

Soon, the chest popped open with a click and the lid opened to reveal a singular item inside. Astarion reached in and pulled out a book. The book had no book jacket nor writings on the cover. There didn’t appear to be a title on the spine either. Frowning, Astarion quirked an eyebrow and looked over at Gale.

“I’m guessing a dusty tome. Can’t tell as there isn’t any writing on it, so I supposed the spoils are yours, Gale.” Astarion said as he put the book on the ground and went to close the chest when things happened very fast.

Astarion remembers shutting the lid and leaning back against his lover’s legs when the book, unprovoked and untouched flung open on it’s own, the pages flipping, until until Astarion heard a loud bang and he felt his body get thrown along with Tav’s. The next moments were a bit of a daze and confusing. He remembered feeling his friends moving him and the thrum of magic as it assessed them. He remembered hearing Halsin’s voice.

“I don’t understand what it did. There is nothing physically wrong with either of them, except…Well, I have to run more tests to know for sure, but even if so, it wouldn’t be from the book.”

Astarion felt like his senses were dulled or in a haze, he couldn’t hear as well, and he couldn’t hear Tav’s heartbeat, which concerned him. Weirder yet, Halsin had to be wrong, because he felt warm, and for the first time, he wasn’t hungry.

“Something’s wrong with Astarion!” Karlach called out “I think he’s…Crying?”

Astarion was confused. His eyes were closed but he was sure he wasn’t crying. Slowly he opened his eyes, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light. He took a few steadying breaths as he realized immediately something was very wrong. Astarion looked down and instead of his muscular toned chest, he was staring at breasts, and not just that, but he felt the constant thrum under his breastbone of a heartbeat.  Astarion’s eyes searched for a mirror, and when it landed on one nearby, ironically from his old bed, he darted to it to see he had a reflection, but not just anyone's. He was looking back through Tav’s eyes.

“Tav! You shouldn’t get up so fast! We don’t know what happened.” Shadowheart said as she followed.

Quickly, Astarion looked around, because he had a bad feeling about what had happened. On the floor, Halsin was trying to figure out what was wrong with ‘Astarion’, but Astarion suspected. He raced over to his body and it felt weird, as he looked at his own self for the first time in two centuries. Normally he would be celebrating this achievement, but the only thing on his mind was; if he was occupying Tav’s body, then that meant…

“Tav? Tav?!” Recognition dawned in the red orbs looking back at him.

“A…Astarion?” Astarion pulled Tav into his arms and held her. It was now becoming apparent to everyone watching what was going on. Somehow, Tav and Astarion had switched bodies.

“Astarion. It’s so cold, and the hunger. It’s like it’s bottomless.”  Tav whispered to Astarion who held her close, but when Astarion was going to reply, it would seem their friends had questions for them both.

“Wait. You both changed bodies, so Astarion is Tav and Tav is Astarion? What in the sweet hells is going on? No book can do that!” Gale exclaimed.

“Explains why that book was locked up and abandoned.” Shadowheart rationalized.

“This is awkward.” Karlach found it all fairly funny, and somewhere in the back, Astarion could swear he heard Halsin groan. Everyone seemed to start talking and Astarion was frankly overwhelmed himself and needing to desperately to speak to his lover. Astarion pushed himself to his feet and helped Tav stand, obviously still figuring out his body.

“Where are you both going?” Jaheira asked as she saw them make for the door.

“When you all figure out how we even begin to fix this, let us know. We’re going to our room.” Astarion, using Tav’s voice, responded and retreated with her back to their room.