#1) william is hogging all the pillows

[ultopias]

one slow afternoon and a silly talk about forever

for sherliam week 2022 day 5: vows (kinda)

[chaosangel767]

200 Follower Event

Hey guys. I am so excited and thankful to see that I have over 200 followers. I really appreciate your guys' support so I am opening my inbox one more time in 2021. I have selected some prompts of various types to write about. 

Rules 

This event is open to all 5 fandoms I write for ( See below)

These will be 200 - 500 words in length.

Requests will close at 10pm EST December 31st.

Only 18+ interact with my Smut Prompts.

I will accept up to two prompts per request. 

I will cross off the requests as they come in. 

I will accept 2 requests per character.

I will accept any variant of Suitor x mc x suitor, suitor x mc, or suitor x reader. 

Please specify (Fem or GN please) - I am not comfortable writing M!Readers

No incest or smut prompts with underage characters. I am not comfortable  writing smut for OM Luke or IkeRev Oliver.  

Fandoms 

Ikemen Revolution

Ikemen Prince

Ikemen Vampire 

SWD: Obey Me 

Voltage Court of Darkness 

Characters (Crossed out ones are no longer available & ones with a 1 left next to them have one slot open. Otherwise they have 2 requests open)

IkeRev - Lancelot , Jonah, Edgar, Kyle (1), Zero, Ray, Sirius, Luka, Seth, Fenrir, Harr, Loki, Oliver (no smut)(1), Blanc, Mousse, Dalim, Dean, Levie. King Sandwich, Queen Sandwich(1), Jack Sandwich 

IkePrince - Jin, Chevalier, Clavis, Leon (1), Yves, Licht, Nokto , Luke, Sariel (1), Rio

IkeVamp - Napoleon (1), Mozart, Leonardo (1), Arthur, Theo (1), Vincent, Dazai, Isaac, Jean, William, Comte, Sebastian, Comte/Leo sandwich (1)

Obey Me - Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos (1), Simeon, Luke ( No Smut), Solomon

Court of Darkness - Guy, Toa, Fenn, Lynt (1), Roy, Rio, Jasper, Grayson, Violet 

***Prompts below the Cut ****

Dialog Prompts

“I don’t know what is sweeter, you or the____ (desert).”

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me.

“Dance with me.” 

“It’s too cold and early to leave bed.” 

“Can we cuddle?” 

“Why are you blushing so much?” 

“I always thought you forgot about it.” “How could I?” 

“You make me feel safe.” 

“It will cost you one kiss.” 

“What was that for?” “I really missed you” 

“Shhh Breathe, I am not going anywhere.” 

“I love you, I am sorry I am not great at showing it.” 

“I got you a little gift” “But what is the occasion?” 

“You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you need.” 

“You believe in love at first sight?” “I am starting too.” 

“Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?” 

“You bought me flowers?” “I mean you seemed down.” 

“Don’t go on that date” “Why?” 

“Can you sing/play that song for me again?” 

“I am not a princess that needs saving!” “I know, that’s why I love you” 

“This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me.” 

“Was that part of the bet too?” 

“Why do you always end up under my blanket?” 

“You are unbelievably cute when you are tired.” 

“Hey, I can’t hug you properly when you are behind me” “Then turn around.” 

“How can you be so cute and smart- Hey, stop ignoring me!” 

“You are an idiot.” “Yeah but I’m your idiot.” 

“No, you can’t open your eyes yet, just trust me.” 

“This is such a beautiful view.” 

“Sit with me.” “But there are no seats” 

“Stop hogging all the blankets.” 

“Can you quit being so sassy?” 

“You have two choices, cuddle me or leave.” 

“He’s scaring me.” “I’ll protect you” 

“You are seriously a man-child” 

“I didn’t think you could get any more romantic.”

“I want a pet”

“Show me what’s behind your back” 

“Hey, don’t put your feet there” “But they’re cold” 

Scenario Prompts 

Surprising an overworked lover with snacks and a drink.

Leaving cute notes on their pillow, surprised when they find one in their coat pocket. 

Wearing a lover’s clothing after getting soaked.

Sneaking into a lover’s room to cuddle when you can’t sleep. 

Watching the stars with Mc being cold and stealing their lover’s jacket. 

Dancing in the rain together.

Character A kissing their lover to shut them up. 

Baking with a lover, ending in a mess.

 Laying head in lover’s lap

Being too short to reach something and having their lover get it for them. 

Being too short to reach something and having their lover raise them up to get it themselves.

Being teased for having such small hands. 

Hands keep brushing against each other until you intertwine your fingers.

You are being defiant so they pick you up and throw you over their shoulder.

Going on a picnic date and taking a nap under the sun. 

 Receiving/Giving headpats 

Confessing feelings while drunk 

Hugging or being hugged from behind while making food 

 Character A is sick and their lover spends the day taking care of them.

One character has a nightmare and their lover wakes them up and holds them. 

Playing a scavenger hunt.

Going to a new library and exploring their book collections.

Going to a new bookstore and selecting books for each other.

Carrying their lover piggyback style because they hurt their ankle.

Partaking in their hobby because you like seeing your lover smile. 

Falling asleep to your lover’s heartbeat. 

Smut Prompts (18+) 

Fingers being trailed along the body. 

“You are so tense, do you want a massage?” 

“If you're cold, I’ll warm you up.” 

“Let me give you a reason to stay in bed.” 

“You are not going out dressed like that.” 

“Make a noise and I’ll stop.”

“Don’t give me that look.” 

“Did you forget your panties today?” 

“I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day.” 

“What? Does this feel good?” 

“I know what your hands can do, let me see what your mouth can do.” 

“How quickly can you cum?” 

“We are just friends.” “How many friends do this shit?” 

“Fuck me” “Is that an offer?” 

 “Bend over or you won’t be able to walk tomorrow” 

“I can’t sleep without you” 

“Get on top. Now.” 

“I’m going to fuck that pretty little throat of yours” 

“Your body is for my eyes only.” “Jealous much?

“I want you, right now.” 

“Move your hands before I tie them” 

“Be quiet unless you want to get caught” 

“I never thought the counter could be used like this” 

“I wonder if your cunt tastes as good as your lips” 

“Ride my thigh like it’s his cock” (threesome only) 

“I’m going to make you cum until you can’t speak” 

“Your in trouble now” 

“Are you going to join or just stand there?” ( Threesome only) 

“It’s okay, I like it rough” 

“Just shut up and fuck me” 

“Hands and knees, now.” 

“I have a new job for you.” 

“I found a better use for that mouth.” 

“Shut up!” “Come here and make me.” 

“Well since you are in my bed”

[ziracona]

THE OFFICIAL DBD STORE SELLS A HUNTRESS (and shirtless david) BODY PILLOW AND IM 👀👀👀👀👀👀👌👌👌👌

Keep ‘em comin’ lads

(Haha. I do gotta say tho Anon, if you want a body pillow for DbD, please consider getting a custom one instead. I think you’d actually like it much better! The rest was meant to be under a cut but tumblr is the dumbest shit site coding wise & I made this on mobile, which will not allow you to add read mores anymore. In past this has been no problem bc I can just save as a draft & edit + post on my laptop or edit the second I post & throw in a read-more but apparently now if you make a post on mobile you can never edit it in desktop again. : ) I love that. So fucking much! But this is going to be long now & I physically cannot fix that bc it also won’t let me swap it to html now it’s posted : ) : ) : ) fuck this site : ) —anyway! On a brighter note, here’s my pitch:

Okay! So to start.

First up. Let’s look at what the devs are offering you.

Here are the official body pillows. Now, these aren’t the worst pictures of Anna and David I’ve ever seen, but they’re not great. David’s in his default queue pose, I got no idea wtf Anna’s doing, and neither of them have interesting, good, or attractive poses, lighting, expressions, or detail. Considering this is decently funded company with multiple artists on staff and full body 3D adjustable rendered models of Anna & David on every computer there, it’s lazy as hell. It’s not even as good art as their official sketches or character renders or promo art. They know how to do the work:

They’re just being lazy.

Okay, though, but you really want a body pillow, so what to do? Well, maybe it’ll be cheap enough you don’t care about the quality too much. So, how much will this cost you? For me to ship to myself in the us with the cheapest shipping option, Anna would cost me $80.

Okay, so. That sucks. But you really want this and what else can you do? There’s nothing else to pick.

OH WAIT. Yes there is! So here’s some actually good news for ya 💪

If you want a custom body pillow, you have two options: 1, buy a custom pillow case and a pillow separately, or 2, buy a custom pillow with the image on the pillow print itself. Now, you can get the second option, but it is exponentially more expensive. I’ve seen maybe 60something-70 as the cheapest option for this, although I didn’t spend a ton of time looking. Still, if you want to go full hog, it’s possible. If you don’t mind a pillowcase/the cheaper option, though, (and many pillow cases are custom to the exact specified pillow size and aren’t really noticeable at all), it’s a good deal. For example: A body pillow can be bought at many stores for about 15 bucks. There is some variance in pricing for size, shape, and material, but here I’d like to add the official DbD site doesn’t even list dimensions for their body pillow, let alone material. So, for me to get what I want if I wanted this, I could buy a $15 pillow at a store, and then a pillowcase from a place that I could get it custom made & delivered, IE price + shipping is $30 from here https://www.etsy.com/listing/653983430/custom-21-x-60-zipper-body-pillowcase?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=custom+body+pillow&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&bes=1

So we’re at about $45 right now. (eBay offers cheaper custom pillowcase options but I didn’t want to try to vet sellers for quality & reliability making this post & this is a good price).

This leaves about $35 to commission an artist for something to put on the pillow case. Now, price for commission varies greatly from artist to artist, and full body is the most expensive base option for a single subject, but there’s definitely people offering really freaking incredible commissions at this price, and sometimes even lower. Even though their art should really be worth more than that. Unfortunately, we artists gotta eat. And a lot of the people who buy commissions are also young adults who gotta eat and don’t have a ton of cash. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So there’s a lot of people who’d be genuinely very happy to be paid for that commission even though it kinda sucks we be there. And if you want to commission someone more expensive, sure you’ll be spending more on the body pillow than DbD officials $80ish. But uh. Would you rather give the same devs who picked the most racist Claudette design they could put into the game for the most recent costume contest $80 for one of these:

Or

Spend $37 for a David of @eggchef ‘s lookin this kinda fine:

https://eggchef.tumblr.com/post/190185302972/david-and-jake-are-both-just-rich-kids-who-said

$40 for a full body Anna of @guud-night ‘s in the style they did this: https://guud-night.tumblr.com/post/185148722468/summer

Or $42 for a full body Anna like this one by @sleazy-art https://sleazy-art.tumblr.com/post/169548091038

or $70 for a full body of @guud-night ‘s in the style of this Anna seen here https://guud-night.tumblr.com/post/165476621798/the-huntress

The fan artists do better work—I mean think of how amazing a pillow could look if your heart cries for one. Vs the low-grade renders the devs be offering. They do so much better it’s like a “Look at your body pillow. Now look at the body pillow the devs told you not to worry about” meme it truly is. TBH, you could screenshot a DbD store screen with Anna or David, edit out the BG in photoshop, and already have a better 3D image than the official offering. 😂 And with an artist? 👌 Mmmmm. Anyway, haha. There was my in-depth pitch to buy from fans instead of official. I was just very motivated to *Robin Williams Genie voice* Illuminate the possibilities! I hope it may have given you inspiration for something even more beautiful than what you thought your heart desired :’-)

[crescent-canine]

NedCan Week 2019 Day 1: Autumn

Hi! This is my first time writing in this fandom/for this ship, so sorry if the characters are a bit OOC! And sorry that the prompt is a bit late, school has been keeping me busy lately...

Tim is Netherlands' human name, Matthew is Canada's.

I hope you'll enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________

The leaves crushed under their feet as they walked among the trees. Their breath came out in little clouds, the warmth of their breath contrasting with the cold November air. Peacefully, the pair walked through the woods, although one would say they made an odd couple. One of them had wavy, shoulder-length blond hair and framed violet eyes. He wore a red hoodie with a white maple leaf on it, and wore faded jeans. The other was tall, with spiked, blond hair and green eyes. He wore a white and blue striped scarf, under which a coat was visible. The taller one shivered.

‘’Cold already?’’ the shorter one asked teasingly, though one could easily hear the concern in his voice.

‘’It’s freezing, Matt,’’ the older one complained.

‘’No it isn’t.’’

‘’Maybe not for you, but normally, it isn’t this cold, especially not in November.’’

Matt rolled his eyes. ‘’What, you want me to go home and get your hat for you?’’

‘’Oh no. No no no no no. No. I’m not gonna wear that hat. Though I wouldn’t say no to the idea of going home.’’ After a second, he added, ‘’And get that grin off your face. You’ll never see me in that hat.’’

‘’Aww, c’mon Tim! Please? I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t make any pics!’’

At this, Tim turned. ‘’Matthew Williams, if you even think about taking a picture while I’m wearing that hat-‘’

‘’Oh, calm down, would you? It’s just a hat! Besides, you look cute with it!’’ Grinning wildly, Matthew spun around to face his boyfriend, who had stopped. A blush was spreading on his cheeks, and not just from the cold.

‘’’M not cute,’’ he mumbled, cheeks burning. Matthew walked back and kissed his cheek. ‘’Sure. Keep telling yourself that.’’

Walking forward, Matthew yelled over his shoulder, ‘’Hurry up, let’s get home!’’

_____________________________________________________________

‘’Alright, I can make us some tea or some hot cocoa, whatever you feel like.’’ Tim called out from the kitchen, debating whether he should make got cocoa or tea.

‘’Tea!’’ was the answer he got from Matthew, who was picking up all the blankets in the house and piling them on the couch. Rain was tapping at the windows, creating a calm background noise. It was all very cute and domestic. It made Tim smile. He smiled wider when he felt two arms wrapping themselves around his waist. Matthew had sneaked up to him and was now snuggling up against him. ‘’What’re you smiling about?’’ he asked in a soft voice.

‘’About you, and me, and us.’’ Turning around, he snuck his own arms around Matthew and kissed his forehead. ‘’Now, why don’t you go back to hogging all the blankets, while I finish our tea?’’

Matthew smiled up brightly at him and went back to the living room. Turning back to the counter, he filled a kettle with some water and let it boil. He got two teacups and tea bags out from a cupboard, as well as some maple syrup. He snorted. The day that Matt doesn’t want maple syrup with his tea or anything else is the day that the world ends, he thought. Hell, he probably has some sort of secret bunker filled with it, just in case of some sort of apocalypse. Oh well, who was he to deny his little tulip anything?

The kettle whistled, signalling that the tea was finally boiling. He filled the teacups with the water, and took them into the living room. Matthew had just finished piling all the blankets on the couch, though there were probably more blankets than there was couch. Smiling, he shook his head and put the teacups down. Then, he went into the kitchen again to grab the teabags and maple syrup, as well as some cookies.

When he finally sat down on the couch, Matthew started rearranging the blankets around them. When after a few minutes the blankets lay good enough for them both, they made themselves some tea. Matthew snuggled himself against Tim’s side. They just lay against each other, enjoying themselves and listening to the rain.

As had sort of became their ritual, Mathew insisted that Tim took a sip of his tea. After a moment, in which he looked like he was debating the taste, he said, ‘’It’s really sweet.’’

Rolling his eyes and smacking his arm, Matthew told him, ‘’That’s the whole point, smartass.’’

After this, they calmly continued to sip their tea. Tim, who was done faster than Matthew, ran his hands through Matthew’s hair and looked at him, lost in his thoughts. At some point, he must have started to smile, because Matthew looked at him and asked, ‘’What are you smiling about?’’

‘’Nothing much, just that you’re more like Arthur and Francis than you sometimes realise.’’ At the shocked and slightly embarrassed look he got, his smile became soft. ‘’That’s not a bad thing, Matt, but really, tea?’’

‘’Hey, nothing’s wrong with a good cup of tea!’’ At the amused look he got, Matthew started. ‘’Oh God, I really sound like Arthur.’’

He looked over to Tim, who was now laughing. ‘’Hey! Stop laughing!’’

When the laughter didn’t stop, he grabbed a pillow off the couch and smacked Tim with it. The laughing immediately stopped, and a startled silence took its place. ‘’Matthew, I love you, but what the fu-‘’ the older man started to say, but he got cut off by another pillow being smacked on his face.

‘’Matt, I’m not having a pillow fi-‘’ he tried again, only to be cut off by a damn pillow again. He grinned and grabbed a pillow. ‘’Oh, it’s on.’’

No one was really sure what exactly happened, except for the fact that a legendary pillow fight took place. It ended when Matthew pinned Tim on top of the couch (which was still more blankets than couch), before tickling him merciless.

‘’Surrender!’’

‘’N-No!’’ Tim managed to exclaim between laughter.

‘’Surrender!’’

‘’N-Never!’’

This went on for several minutes, in which Matthew’s tickling became more frantic and Tim looked like he was about to explode from laughter. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and his whole face was red. He was gasping for breath.

‘’Alright! Alright! I’ll surrender!’’ he managed to gasp out between laughter and gasps for air. Matthew finally stopped tickling him and got off him. Tim gasped for sweet, sweet air for a couple of seconds, before finally being able to breath like a normal human being again.

When he got himself together a bit, Matthew cuddled up against his side and mumbled, ‘’Sorry.’’

Tim smiled. ‘’It’s alright, rabbit. No harm done here.’’ He kissed Matt’s forehead, and then his nose, and his cheeks, which made Matthew laugh. Then he kissed Matthew’s lips, which tasted like tea and maple syrup. Matthew always tasted of maple syrup.

When they finally parted, they cuddled up again and just listened to the rain. After a few minutes of silence, Tim spoke up again. What he said, made Matthew smile again.

‘’I love you.’’

____________________________________________________________

I just see their relationship as really open, honest, relaxed and really really cute. They also tease eachother constantly. Also Tim's pet names for Matthew include 'rabbit' and 'tulip'. Fight me about all of this (wait please don't)

This is the first time writing for this ship/fandom, and English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

Also this just turned into a very cute, fluffy, kinda domestic kind of prompt, whoops XD

(Oh, and the hat they're talking about in the beginning is a white hat, with rabbit ears and a ':3" face on the front. It was a gift from Femke (Belgium) to Tim. Tim is embarrassed about it, while Matthew thinks it's cute)

[cakesandfail]

Ok so THREE ships for the shipping post, pick and chose @ your discretion on grounds of this is a bit extra. •Vimes/Vetinari/Sybil •Moist von Lipwig/Adora Bell Dearheart •William/Otto/Sacharissa

buckle up friendo if we’re gonna be Extra then I’m answering every goddamn question, obviously some of these are 21st century Earth things so... just pretend they all live in London instead of Ankh-Morpork for those, I guess

here we fucking go

1. Vimes/Vetinari/Sybil

who hogs the duvet Sam does. Dude is a big fan of pillows, I can’t imagine he’d be any different re: duvetswho texts/rings to check how their day is going Sybil. Sam is v bad at technology and Havelock just sends memes while watching committees happenwho’s the most creative when it comes to gifts Havelock, if by ‘creative’ you mean ‘devious and prone to trolling’who gets up first in the morning Havelock, though let’s be honest, none of them has anything remotely approaching a normal sleep patternwho suggests new things in bed this is definitely Sybil and there’s nothing that will ever convince me otherwisewho cries at movies S A Mwho gives unprompted massages that is an extremely bad idea when two out of three people in the relationship are (justifiably) paranoidwho fusses over the other when they’re sick Sam is the absolute worst for this, as we all found out in Feet of Claywho gets jealous easiest Sam. His self-esteem is terrible and he can hardly believe that one smart, cute, fancy rich person would want him, let alone two. Things can be dificult. He does his best.who has the most embarrassing taste in music I mean I’m pretty sure Havelock wins this one by reading sheet music, the weirdowho collects something unusual ...how unusual are farty dragons? (it’s Sybil regardless, even if the dragons aren’t unusual for Ankh-Morpork she does also have a house full of random tat)who takes the longest to get ready if they’re going out it’s Sybil because she’s got Undergarments(tm) and makeup and a wig to sort out, but if it’s a normal day it’s Havelock because let’s be honest, anyone with a beard like that is definitely a little bit vain and fussy about itwho is the most tidy and organised Mr shiny-circular-saw-brain himself, Havelock Vetinariwho gets most excited about the holidays 100% Sybil (and Sam a bit too, secretly, now he’s in a position to enjoy them)who is the big spoon/little spoon Sam is always the littlest spoon and he loves itwho gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports lmaoooo this is Havelock for sure, he’s clearly one of those people who won’t do anything in public unless he knows he won’t fuck it upwho starts the most arguments this is Sam’s favourite hobbywho suggests that they buy a pet Sybil and Havelock just kind of acquire them tbh, and Sam gave up doing anything about it years agowhat couple traditions they have 25th May is special- it’s Young Sam’s birthday and of course the anniversary of the revolution, so Uncle Havelock comes round for tea and then goes to Small Gods with old Sam, and then stays the night, conveniently disappearing early enough in the morning that nobody else knows he was therewhat tv shows they watch together listen. listen. if they were in modern London they’d be watching the Supervet and getting emotional about it. fite me. also Sybil and Havelock watch nerdy gameshows like Only Connect and University Challenge, but Sam is not here for that at allwhat other couple they hang out with bold of you to assume any of these nerds have any other friendshow they spend time together as a couple does almost getting murdered count because that does happen a lot. Otherwise: naps at bizarre times of the day, fighting over the newspaper, carriage journeys home from parties where they bitch about everyone they hate (ie everyone else who was there)who made the first move Sybil, for every single context where making the first move was necessarywho brings flowers home Havelock does because he’s a ‘show affection through gifts’ sort of person and also a huge nerd who probably knows all about floriographywho is the best cook fucking nobody lol they’re all useless

2. Moist/Adora

who hogs the duvet Adora. And there’s nothing Moist can do about it.who texts/rings to check how their day is going Moist, because he’s a nice cheerful sort of boy (and also likes to be annoying)who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts ...probably Moist? He’s pretty imaginative, I think- that’s not to say that Adora wouldn’t find him good gifts, but his would be more ‘out there’ without being wrongwho gets up first in the morning Adora, unless she’s on nights or Moist has been summoned by his surrogate dad Vetinariwho suggests new things in bed hahahaha ADORAwho cries at movies both of them. Adora will never admit this to anybody.who gives unprompted massages Moist, but only once they’ve been married long enough that he knows when he definitely won’t get stomped onwho fusses over the other when they’re sick I honestly think they’re both the kind of people who are like ‘get the fuck away from me’ when they’re ill so probably nobodywho gets jealous easiest Adora. She’s not worried about Moist, but he’s a very charming dude and other people need to Watch It.who has the most embarrassing taste in music Moist is a big Spandau Ballet fan and you know itwho collects something unusual look, Moist doesn’t actively collect weird shit, weird shit just happens to come into his possessionwho takes the longest to get ready Moist. Just fucking look at him. He wears a gold suit.who is the most tidy and organised Adora, but this does not extend to her private space at all, and their bedroom is a disaster areawho gets most excited about the holidays M o i s twho is the big spoon/little spoon I... think it’s probably Moist. Yeah. Moist.who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports Adora is the kind of person who’d even try to fight Vetinari if she had to, so.who starts the most arguments see above lmaowho suggests that they buy a pet Moist does, because for all that he complained, he got quite attached to Mr Fusspotwhat couple traditions they have uhhhhh idk if it’s a tradition so much as a regular date night but they definitely go dancing together when they have timewhat tv shows they watch together they hate-watch The Apprentice, and Undercover Boss, and Dragons Den- basically anything where they can judge other people’s ability to run a businesswhat other couple they hang out with work people, mostly. Sometimes they have to socialise with Sam and Sybil, which is a bit unfortunate for Moist and Sam, but Adora and Sybil find their respective idiots very cute when they’re all cross so it tends to work out okayhow they spend time together as a couple the aforementioned hate-watching marathons and dancing. I think they’re probably one of the few canon couples that actually has date nights.who made the first move Moist. It’s canon. He’s a dipshit, but it did sort of work.who brings flowers home Moist does, because he thinks it’s a good idea to do it regularly so Adora won’t assume he’s fucked up every timewho is the best cook Moist- he once spent three months as a cook in a pub while laying low after a scam. It’s not amazing gourmet food, but it’s alright.

3. William/Otto/Sacharissa

who hogs the duvet Sacharissa, because she’s the smallest and the first to get coldwho texts/rings to check how their day is going All of them- they’re journalists, they’re always in contact all the time. In a Roundworld AU they’d have a whatsapp groupwho’s the most creative when it comes to gifts Williamwho gets up first in the morning I think this probably depends on what they’re doing, but it’s definitely not Otto hahawho suggests new things in bed Otto isn’t necessarily going to suggest them outright, but he’s definitely dropped hints about things he used to get up to back in the daywho cries at movies William. He thinks the others don’t know. They do.who gives unprompted massages I’m not sure? This seems like a William thing but he’s also extremely awkward. I think it would be him once they were established as a trio.who fusses over the other when they’re sick Otto- he worries about the other two because they’re mortal and because he’s just generally an anxious kind of dudewho gets jealous easiest William. He’s a bit insecure about his place in the world and, well, Sacharissa is so pretty and Otto is a vampire which makes him automatically 500% sexier to everyone everywhere, clearly anyone hanging around them wants to take his place. (Spoiler: they don’t.)who has the most embarrassing taste in music Sacharissa strikes me as a big 90s pop fan idekwho collects something unusual Otto is definitely a nerd about old cameras/iconographswho takes the longest to get ready I think possibly Sacharissa just because girl clothes take longer- otherwise I don’t think there’s much in it. They’re all pretty sensible people.who is the most tidy and organised William has a stick up his butt about everything ever, so definitely himwho gets most excited about the holidays Otto does, because he finally has someone to celebrate with who isn’t going to get eaten (behave.)who is the big spoon/little spoon this varies a lot, I think? I just kind of assumed they usually end up in a big old cuddlepilewho gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports William. He went to boarding school and even though he hated it, it’s bound to have had some effect on himwho starts the most arguments ...also William lmaowho suggests that they buy a pet Sacharissa. She thinks both Wuffles and Mr Fusspot are very cute.what couple traditions they have They get a takeaway whenever they’ve stayed late at work together to finish a big story. Otto can’t eat it, obviously, but he likes to just sit with the others and hang out. It’s nice.what tv shows they watch together absolutely no news programmes at all, ever. Lots of low-energy stuff like How It’s Made so they don’t have to use any brainpower.what other couple they hang out with sometimes Gunilla and Boddony join in with the takeaway nightshow they spend time together as a couple running about like loons after the next story, mostlywho made the first move William with Sacharissa, Sacharissa with Ottowho brings flowers home Sacharissa does- mostly just because she likes having them aroundwho is the best cook Otto made a point of learning to cook so he could do something nice for his favourite people. He had lessons and everything. He has to wear gloves to handle the garlic, but it’s worth it.

[scullys-right-eyebrow-txf]

Fox Mulder vs. Questionable Holiday Movies

Warning: Pure Fluff. Christmas Fluff. Christmas Kidfic Fluff

Tagging @today-in-fic

Night 1

 Physically and emotionally exhausted, Dana Scully pulled her aching body through the front door of her apartment and promptly tripped over a large toy dump truck.

 “Dammit,” she whispered as she regained her footing and kicked the row of trucks out of her path before resuming her trek down the hallway.

 It was 1am, three days before Christmas, and Scully was finally off work. After a week of late nights at the hospital, she was done until after the holidays and she only wanted to celebrate with eight full hours of sleep.

 She stumbled into the bathroom and stripped off her scrubs before stepping into the shower to wash away the hospital odor, and then pulled on the clean pajamas that Mulder had set out for her. (Sleeping naked had stopped becoming an option once William began to walk and had a tendency to show up in their bedroom at daybreak.)

 Speaking of the little 4 year old bed-hog, he was planted firmly on her side of the mattress when she made it into the bedroom. Scully softly pushed William to the middle of the bed toward Mulder and climbed in tiredly beside her boys.

“Hmm, Mommy?” the child said, half awake.

 “Hey baby, what are you doing here?” Scully asked, lovingly running her fingers through her son’s hair.

 “I had a dream,” he mumbled into the pillow.

 “I’m sorry. Do you feel better now? Do you want me to take you back to your room?”

 “No, Mommy, Santa’s in there,” William said, curling into his mother’s body.

 “What?” Scully whispered in confusion.

 “Shhh, Scully. Just let him stay here tonight,” Mulder said, reaching out blindly to stroke her arm, which he missed entirely and ended up pawing at her face.

 She swatted his hand away. “Okay, okay,” she answered, wrapping her arm around her son and melting into her pillow, too tired to argue with either of them.

 *********************************

 “Hey, Mulder, I’ve got a question,” Scully said the next morning as she sipped her coffee while watching Mulder and William pick up the remnants of the previous night’s toy explosion.

 “And what would that be?” he asked from his place on the floor.

 “Why is Will suddenly afraid of Santa Claus?”

 “He isn’t afraid of Santa. It was just one bad dream, isn’t that right, buddy?” he directed to his son.

 “Nope, I don’t like Santa anymore. He’s scary, like in the movie,” William stated as he became distracted and began playing with his toys rather than cleaning them up.

 “Mulder, what movie is he talking about?” Scully questioned her husband.

 He sighed heavily and placed himself next to her on the couch to confess. “It’s just this campy old movie from the 60’s that we watched last night called ‘Santa Claus vs the Devil.’ And don’t give me that look, Scully. It’s not scary and Santa is the hero! And it’s just so bad that it’s hilarious.”

 “Well apparently Will didn’t think it was hilarious. He wouldn’t even go into his room until I hid his big stuffed Santa. And he loves that thing!” she said in exasperation.

 “I guess he projected the creepiness of the devil onto Santa. Because as I said before, Santa comes off very well in this movie,” Mulder explained. “Don’t worry Scully, all we have to do is get him excited about Christmas and he’ll snap out of it.

 “You better hope that that he snaps out of it soon. We’re meeting Mom at the mall at 6:00 so he can get his picture taken with the big guy.”

 “He’ll be fine,” Mulder said, reaching out to give Scully a quick peck on the lips. “The little guy has been so excited to tell Santa all about the train set he wants for Christmas. It will be great, I promise.”

 Night 2

 “That was a disaster,” Scully groaned, collapsing beside Mulder on the bed, both still fully clothed.

 “I’m sorry, Scully. I really thought he would be okay,” Mulder said, his words muffled by the pillow that his face was buried in.

 The situation had actually been far from okay. It had started out well enough. William had been so distracted by his excitement over seeing his grandmother that he didn’t even realize why they were waiting in line. He was happy enough to receive little candy canes from the elves traversing the line in order to keep the waiting children content, but then he realized what he was waiting for. Beginning to panic, Will demanded to be picked up by his father and that only made things worse because then he could see the man himself, Santa Claus.

 It started as small whimpers. The parents around them gave Mulder and Scully sympathetic looks, but then came the loud cries that evolved into screaming and the looks became much less sympathetic and much more judgmental.

 All it took was one glance between the partners and they were heading toward the exit, William screaming the whole way.

 “At least he fell asleep in the car and was too out of it to realize that we put him in his own bed,” Scully murmured.

 Right at that moment there was a loud knock on the bedroom door.

 “You just had to say something, didn’t you?” Mulder asked, giving her a side eyed glance.

 “Mommy? Daddy?” came a sweet little voice from the other side of the door.

 “You can come in, baby,” Scully said, sitting up resignedly.

 Will threw open the door and made a bee line for the bed, landing squarely in his mother’s arms.

 “I want to sleep with you tonight,” he told his parents. “Please Mommy.”

 Scully looked at Mulder before turning her eyes upon that sad little face that at the moment looked just like his father’s. She couldn’t say no to either of them.

 “Just tonight, sweetie,” she said, brushing his hair off his forehead.

 William gratefully burrowed under the cover between his parents and Mulder reached out to rub his arm affectionately.

 “You know this want be just tonight, right?” he asked his wife.

 Scully sighed and flopped back down on the mattress. “We’ll worry about it tomorrow.”

 **********************************

 The little family of three huddled around the kitchen counter. It was Christmas Eve and they were making a large batch of sugar cookies, as had become their tradition. The dough was mixed and spread out and Mulder and Scully were helping William use the cookie cutters. There was a combination of shapes such as wreaths, bells, and Christmas trees, but there was one that was being conspicuously avoided by the child.

 “Hey Will, let’s do this one next,” Mulder said, showing the little boy the cookie cutter shapely roughly like Santa.

 “No, Daddy!”

 “Come on, Will. We’ve got plenty of red frosting that we need to use up,” Mulder tried to reason with the child.

 “Santa is not welcome here,” William stated sternly before turning back to his work.

 Mulder and Scully gave each other incredulous looks over his head, a whole conversation with only their eyes. A conversation that included thoughts such as, “Who knew a miracle baby could be such an ungrateful troublemaker,” and “We should just return all his gifts to the store.”

 “Well William, if you feel that way, then I guess you shouldn’t be expecting any gifts tomorrow morning,” Scully said.

 The boy only shrugged in response, but his parents could see the nervousness flit across his face.

 Night 3

 “It’s time for bed, Will,” Mulder said as he turned off the cartoon on the TV much to the dismay of the child.

 “Just one more show, Daddy, please.”

 “No go, buddy. It’s already past your bedtime,” Mulder said, shuffling William toward his room.

 “But…but,” he tried to argue bravely, despite the fact that his chin was trembling.

 “But what?” Scully asked, still a little peeved after the incident that afternoon.

 “But you know who comes tonight. I’m scared, Mommy.”

 And just like that, Scully’s resolve crumbled. She crouched down to William’s level. “Baby, it’s okay to be scared, but you know that Mommy and Daddy would never let anyone come in who was dangerous. We trust Santa, and you trust us, right?”

 Will nodded his head, his eyes on the floor. “Do you think Santa will still bring me a present after what I said about him?” he asked sadly.

 Scully kissed his head, “I think he might do just that. We’ll let you sleep with us one more night so you won’t be scared but tomorrow it’s back to your own bed. Deal?”

 “Yep,” he said happily.

 “You go on and get in the bed while Daddy and I turn out the lights, okay?”

 “Don’t forget to put out some milk and cookies for Santa!” Will yelled over his shoulder as he sprinted for his parent’s bedroom.

 “You’re such a softie,” Mulder said as he and Scully began to quietly pull out the hidden presents and place them under the tree.

 “I blame you. Where do you think he got those puppy dog eyes?” she asked. “Also, this is all your fault. All for some damn movie. And I was going to give you an early Christmas present,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

 “Uh…,” he could only reply. Between her work schedule and their uninvited visitor, it had been over a week and he was desperately in need of that Christmas present.

 “But instead we have a munchkin in our bed. Pity,” she said teasingly.

 “Oh, Scully,” Mulder groaned. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been sorrier in my life. Tomorrow that kid is out!”

 **************************

 “Mommy! Daddy! Santa came!!!” Will yelled, jumping on their bed way too early.

 An hour later, Mulder and Scully were surrounded by wrapping paper and one hyper child.  

 “I can’t believe that he brought me a train set. I didn’t even get to tell him that’s what I wanted! And legos! And a new truck!” William didn’t know what to play with first. He simple ran from one toy to another excitedly. “I love Santa!” he exclaimed victoriously.

 Mulder and Scully watched from their place on the couch and laughed at their son’s sudden change of heart.

 “Will, buddy, I know you’re happy but you need to settle down or you’ll wear yourself out,” Mulder said as the boy sprinted to another corner of the room.

 “That wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” Scully whispered, cuddling close to Mulder. “He might need a nice long nap before we head over to Mom’s and that would give me an opportunity to give you your Christmas present,” she said, trailing a hand up his thigh.

 Mulder let out a ragged breath, “You know what, Will? Just keep having fun.”

 “Yeah!,” Will yelled. “Best Christmas ever!”

 “Best Christmas ever,” Mulder said, kissing Scully in a way she wouldn’t soon forget.

 ***************************

 Four months later

 “Daddy! Mommy! Open up,” the little voice called through the locked door.

 “No,” Scully whimpered, her head falling back on the pillows.

 Mulder’s head landed on her chest where he had previously been trying to unbutton her blouse with his teeth.

 “What is it, William?” he asked.

 “I need you,” Will answered urgently.

 Scully sighed and pulled herself up. She opened the door and William burst through, running to hug her.

 “What’s wrong, Sweetie?”

 “I had a nightmare. It was the Easter Bunny. He’s scary,” Will said, burying his face in her shoulder.

 Scully held her son tightly and turned her accusing eyes on her husband.

 “I didn’t know that he had come into the room, Scully, I swear,” Mulder said, his hands up in submission. “ I was just watching this movie ‘Donnie Darko.’”

 “And it has a scary bunny?” she asked, carrying their son to the bed.

 “I didn’t know he was watching, Scully. I swear, I didn’t know…”

 Night 1

 The End

[dltbzrkcr]

Dude try morbucks n butch for the ship meme they’re the Ultimate Crackship Fucks

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Considering Butch, probably a fling. Maybe the occasionally hook up but nothing long lasting 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Fall in love? These two are more likely to use each other to make their actual love interests jealous

How was their first kiss? - Princess was definitely the one to kiss him first, probably over him aggravating her and Princess getting so fed up but kind of that “he’s really hot and I just am sick and tired of hearing his mouth open because everything he says is god damned garbage” kind of kiss, but then they get really into it and it would probably take a good while to pry them off of each other. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - It was more like Princess probably dragged Butch into a sham marriage just to piss of daddy, like “look daddy because you didn’t pay attention to me I married such a garbage trashbin!!!” 

Who is the best man/men? - Burger the snail (because it would be them eloping tbh)

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Who needs a bride’s maid when Princess is all the glam the world needs. 

Who did the most planning? - Probably princess and her maniacal plans. 

Who stressed the most? - Princess for sure

How fancy was the ceremony? - Weirdly enough, even if it was eloping, I imagine Princess made sure it was as fancy as she could fucking make it. Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - the PPG’s. except blossom. I feel like Princess would be a bitch and invite blossom just to be like “haha bitch I have your boyfriend now” 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Princess.......... for sure.....

Who is the one to instigate things? - Butch

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I mean. Its in her name. she’s a god damned pillow princess probably and he would go on for however long he could to please her until butch is just like plS 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - no princess hogs the orgasm count

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - I’m afraid to say a number. lets just go with how ever many it takes for princess to threaten to castrate him. so probably 1 actually. 

How many children will they adopt? - he has snails and a dog already do they need anything else

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Butch... or the maids. 

Who is the stricter parent? - neither. that kid would be a spoiled brat. 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - neither they love the chaos and encourage it

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Butch

Who is the more loved parent? - Princess because she spoils their kid way more than he does. 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? They both go, but Princess sits there filing her nails while she makes Butch fight against everything she dislikes for her. He would literally beat people up sometimes. Like just. toss people through walls and shit. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - Butch because wow THAT LITTLE SHIT MADE IT THROUGH SCHOOL??? IT’S ALREADY SMARTER THAN HIM

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Princess cause she has all the $$$, Butch would just break them out of jail

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Maids. Butch can make a mean burrito. that’s it. that’s his level of cooking. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Princess definitely, and they definitely have to have separate meals made since their tastes are so different. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - Butch probs gets sent with a list, that he made brick re-write for him, so that he could actually read it with his dyslexia

How often do they bake desserts? - Princess definitely orders the most obnoxiously rich treats from the most expensive bakeries and makes Butch pick them up

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Butch won’t touch god damn veggies unless you tell him that shit is radioactive. So, meat all the way binch. Princess can eat whatever though. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Princess, having made the help cook it for her. 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Butch thrives off doing shit so him, always, yep. 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - ..I feel like Princess has 0 cooking skills, so princess. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Butch

Who is really against chores? - Both, but because he’s whipped he would clean. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Butch

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Princess lmao, and then tell butch to clean it for her

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Princess, Butch doesn’t ever really care about people. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Butch, except it was 100$ and he kept it for himself. 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Princess. To the point that Butch just learned that he has to walk all the way across the house to use the other bathroom just because of how long she fucking takes. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both, because he would drag her out with him. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Butch isn’t big on holidays, except like july 4th because he just loves blasting off rockets lmao. So, unless Princess liked making her house glam, he wouldn’t do shit. 

What are their goals for the relationship? - Get laid? 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Butch. Always. 

Who plays the most pranks? - ...Both?