#1/3 graceland haul | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

capnmachete · 10 days

Text

Johnny Davis x plus-size fem!OC (Period piece -- mid-1960s, Bikeriders universe but canon-divergent)

PART 9: Please Mr. Postman Long distance and long-haul trucking make a brand-new romance a little complicated. Two-for-one today; should have Part 10 up later tonight or first thing tomorrow.

By-request tags: @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler; @zablife; @lou1333; @potter-solomons, @hoodeddreams13 Thanks you guys for reading and for your wonderful comments! If anybody else wants to be tagged, just LMK.

(Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5/Part 6/Part 7/Part 8)

Part 9: Please Mr. Postman

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. That’s where the first postcard comes from; it's got a picture of the Liberty Bell on it.

The mailman comes around midmorning; you're usually still asleep after workin' all night. But you’re off on Tuesdays, and Momma’s got her weekly hair appointment. So today you’re the first one to see the mail.

You don't see it at first; it's stuck between the electric bill and Daddy’s Reader’s Digest and mixed in with the coupons for Ivory Soap and Crisco. And when you do see it, you figure it just got delivered to the wrong house. Mr. Meadows -- he's the mailman -- is gettin’ up in years. It ain't the first the first time he’s mixed up the mail.

You don’t flip it over to find out which house it was supposed to go to, until you’re halfway back to the front porch.

And there it is, big as day: Miss Corinna Albright, 210 Lucas Avenue, Granger Iowa, written in careful print. And on the other half: J.D. XOXO in slanty left-handed cursive. Which leaves you standin’ in the middle of the sidewalk, grinnin’ like a fool, butterflies havin’ a riot in your stomach. And real glad Momma didn’t get the mail first, otherwise you’d be gettin’ interrogated right now. “He sure don’t say much,” Gus remarks the next day, lookin’ over your shoulder; you're showin' Sharlette the postcard while you clock out and she clocks in. “Quit snoopin’,” you tell him, and poke him with your elbow. You ain't bothered. Johnny's the quiet type; don't talk much, so it stands to reason he don't write much either.

“So what? Lookit them X’s and O’s,” Sharlette points out, wavin' Gus away. She turns the card over again, looks at the picture and the postmark. "Dang. Man's only been gone three days, maybe four. You sure all you did was kiss him?” she asks you, eyes narrowed.

“Sharlette!” you squawk, and smack her shoulder. You ain't really offended, though, on account of that's just how Sharlette is. Likes to tease and get a rise out of people.

She hands it back with a grin. “I’m kiddin’. But don’t go runnin’ oft and elopin’ just yet; I ain’t up to workin’ doubles every day until Gus hires somebody else,” she teases.

“Don't get ahead of yourself; we ain’t even gone on a real date yet,” you grumble, pretendin’ to be annoyed. Even though you ain’t really. And Sharlette knows it. She sees the tiny smile you can’t quite squash under pretend-aggravated, and smiles back, reachin' into the cooler for the milk.

--- The next postcard comes a few days after that – St. Louis, Missouri, with a picture of the Arch. And another one early the next week. Arkansas this time. No photo on this one, just says Arkansas in big, bright cartoon-looking letters. Maybe there ain't anything noteworthy enough in Arkansas to put on a postcard.

It don’t really matter what’s on the front anyways; it’s the J.D. XOXO on the back of each one that lights you up like a dang Christmas tree, every time. They might just be postcards, and not fancy love letters, but each one makes you feel like a princess all over again.

By the end of two weeks you’ve got a little collection goin’ – the three you already got, and another one from Memphis, with Graceland on it. All four are stuck in the frame around the dresser mirror in your bedroom. Every time you go to fix your hair or put on a little mascara, there they are – proof that Johnny Davis is out there thinkin’ about you while he’s on the road. And it purely makes your day.

“That man’s sweet on you,” Sharlette tells you with a confident nod, lookin’ at the latest postcard. “There ain’t no mistakin’ it.”

“Where’s all these postcards comin’ from?” Momma asks, when the inevitable finally happens and she beats you to the mailbox. “And who’s J.D.?”

“Just a pen pal!” you lie, brightly, hopin’ it sounds convincing. “I joined a club; there was an ad in the back of the Life Magazine last month.” And you slide the card out of her hand. And manage to keep yourself from snatchin’ it away fast enough to make her suspicious.

“Sure is friendly,” she comments, eyes narrowed. Has seen the Xs and Os too. Dangit.

“Well, you know, folks in different places have different ways! And some folks are just naturally more affectionate than others!” you chirp, and hustle back to your room before your pink face can give you away. Once you’re behind the closed door, you flop back on your bed, huffin’ a relieved sigh. And spend the next few minutes admirin’ that postcard and daydreamin’, with a sappy smile on your face.

It ain’t that you especially like lyin’ to Momma. And you ain’t ashamed of Johnny, or embarrassed about havin’ a new maybe-boyfriend. Or gettin’ kissed into a floaty, muddleheaded daze right outside your own work. But Momma’s set in her ways, and nosy. And got a lot of opinions and questions, most of which you don’t particularly want to hear, or have to answer.

She’d have a fit, too, if she knew you were plannin’ to go on a date with a trucker. A divorced trucker, at that. According to Momma you can’t trust a divorced man. Or truckers either. She’s convinced every last one is a skirt chaser and a two timer, with wives and girlfriends scattered all over the map.

And Daddy? Well, holy moly, let’s don’t even bring Daddy into it. He’s real protective and old fashioned. And just as quiet as Johnny but not half as easygoin'. Has already scared off three or four fellas that wanted to take you out. Just your luck that Smooth Melvin, of all people, is the only one Daddy approves of so far. And that’s only because Daddy and Melvin Senior work together at the mill. The two of ‘em spend nearly every Saturday evenin' sittin’ in the garage, drinkin’ beer and gruntin’ at each other, while Momma watches her shows inside.

So it’s a whole lot simpler to just keep everything under your hat for now. You're grown, after all, and what Momma and Daddy don’t know won’t hurt ‘em. Besides, you ain’t even officially had your first date yet, so there ain’t really anything to talk about. (At least that’s what you tell yourself, because it makes you feel a little less guilty about keepin’ secrets.)

---

As nice as the post cards are, and as bubbly and happy as you get when one shows up in the mail, the phone calls are even better. There’s only been two so far; they ain’t easy to manage on account of Johnny’s on the road so much. The timin’ gets complicated, and long-distance calls from a payphone get real expensive real quick. And you don’t have much privacy, either, thanks to Momma at home and a certain unnamed nosy fry cook at work. Somebody’s always around. Johnny don’t have any privacy either, really – on the road for two weeks solid at a time, sleepin’ in the truck and callin’ from payphones here and there. Still – you do get to talk a little bit, and you make the best of it. The first time’s on your night off, real late, after Momma and Daddy have gone to bed. You’ve got the curly cord on the wall phone in the hallway stretched about as far as it’ll go, down the hall and through the crack under your closed bedroom door.

Which means you gotta sit on the floor next to the door while you talk. Stretch that cord any further and you risk pullin’ the phone clean off the wall and makin’ a commotion. And if you wake Momma up, then that’ll be the end of the conversation for the night.

“I like the postcards,” you tell him, keepin’ your voice down, twistin’ the cord around your finger like a lock of hair. "I wasn't expectin' that."

“Yeah?” he says back, and you can hear the smile in his voice. Imagine the way his eyes are crinklin' at the corners. “I know it ain’t the same as travelin’, and seein’ all those places for real, but it’s somethin’.” There’s a little pause, and you hear a sound you recognize already – the bright metal clink of Johnny’s lighter, and a sharp injale. “Besides, I hadda make sure you don't forget about me while I’m gone.” Not a snowball’s chance in hell you’re gonna forget about Johnny Davis. “It just so happens I got a very good memory,” you tell him instead, grinning to yourself. “But a little reminder never hurts.” You stay on the phone as long as you can, until you’re gettin’ sleepy and Johnny’s about to run out of dimes. And talk about anythin’ and everythin’. You tell him about all the latest gossip and goin’s on in LaGrange. He talks a little about the girls, and about what his life in Deerfield is like when he’s home, which is hardly never. And his bike. Which has a name, you find out. “Louise?” you ask him, surprised, laughin’ as quiet as you can manage. “Why Louise?”

“Hell, I dunno, really,” he tells you back. “It ain’t named after anybody or anything like that. Just kinda looked like a Louise to me, I guess.”

And you flirt, although not too much, what with Johnny on a payphone in a truck stop, and Daddy sawin’ logs down the hall loud enough to rattle the windows. And you sittin’ on the linoleum floor next to your bedroom door, because that’s as far as the phone cord will go. You have to put the receiver down for a minute and get up and move around, because your butt’s fallin’ asleep. "Gonna have to get you a phone for your room," Johnny tells you, when you pick up again and explain. "Or a longer cord, at least. So's you can be comfortable while we talk. Can't have you sittin' on the floor gettin' all cramped up and uncomfortable."

The truth is you'd sit on a damn cactus if that's what it takes to talk to Johnny, hear that low, slow voice, remember the way his warm breath tickled your ear. "You're bein' awful thoughtful," you tell him instead. "Keep it up and I might just have to kiss you again next time I see ya," you say, and laugh. "Yeah? I guess I better hurry up and get back there, then," he says, and laughs, that warm cigarette-raspy chuckle. It’s the nicest sound you’ve heard all dang day. Only thing better is hearin' him call you sweetheart a few minutes later, when he says good night. You hang up and go to bed all warm and tingly, thinkin' about future kisses.

---

The next time he calls, it’s at the diner. On a slow night, thank heavens, so you can actually stand still and talk for a minute. You scuttle back to the tiny office, to the phone on the wall just outside the door, and snatch up the receiver Gus has left danglin’. “You still up for goin’ on that date?” Johnny asks you, as soon as you pick up.

You say yes so fast you nearly trip over your own tongue; it comes out in an almost-shout. Loud enough to make Gus turn plumb around at the grill, and give you a funny look.

“Well – I got a little time off comin’ up end of next week,” Johnny tells you. “Cut a deal with my dispatcher to switch some things around, and got a coupla days off in a row.” It’s enough time, he explains, to swing by for a quick visit with his girls in South Bend, then stop off at home for a night. And then come to LaGrange. You're about tickled enough to jump up and down. And surprised -- you didn't expect this to happen so quick, but you sure aren't complainin'. "Really? What day?” you ask him, eager.

"The 20th," he tells you. "If I get an early jump and make good time, I can drop the load off and be in LaGrange before dark. You free that night? Lemme take ya out someplace nice. Stay out as late as you want; I won't hafta run off so quick this time.”

You peek inside the office door at the calendar on the wall. And then gasp. *The 20th? September 20th?” you ask Johnny, excited. The timin' couldn't be more perfect! “The Webster County Fair’s goin’ on that weekend, over in Fort Dodge!” you tell him. “It ain’t but maybe twenty, thirty minutes from here!”

The county fair’s just about the most excitin’ thing that happens around here – bright lights and music, ferris wheels and funnel cakes. It’s near about perfect for a first date.

Johnny thinks so too. “Yeah? Well alright then; that's what we'll do,” he tells you. “You be good, Miss Corinna. Can’t wait to see ya.”

And you hang up floatin’ on air, stomach full of butterflies again. And do a little two-second-long happy dance that earns you another sideways look from Gus. You start right in on him, about needin’ the night of the 20th off, puttin’ on your best pretty-please and battin’ your eyelashes.

Gus grumps and crabs about it right off the bat. You're not surprised, since there ain’t much Gus don’t grump and crab about.

But you ain’t worried. You got a whole week to convince him, or get one of the other girls to switch off. And you will do whatever it takes, move heaven and earth if you have to. Because there is no way you're gonna miss out on a date with Johnny Davis. ___ Song inspo: Please Mr. Postman, The Marvelettes (1961)

#the bikeriders fanfic #Johnny Davis #period piece: mid-1960s #AU but set in the overall bikeriders universe #sweet fluff and romance #slow-burn long-distance romance #truckdriver!johnny davis x plus-size fem!OC/reader #song inspo #slight age gap #canon-divergent

20 notes · View notes

monkeyandelf · 7 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://www.monkeyandelf.com/why-i-quit-being-a-digital-nomad-and-moved-back-to-the-us/

Why I Quit Being A Digital Nomad (And Moved Back To The US)

I’m No Longer A Digital Nomad

Personal Stories

Last week I spent all day packing up a small U-haul trailer with my belongings, preparing to move to Los Angeles, California. It felt a bit surreal after 7 years living as a digital nomad.

A bed. A couch. A TV. A desk. Cat toys. A cat (no, he’s not going in the U-haul). Pulling it all behind a new Jeep. I haven’t owned this much stuff in years!

What the hell happened? When did I stop being a full-time vagabond, traveling the world while living out of a backpack?

Well, it’s a long story. And it’s about time I shared it with you.

2010: My First Backpacking Trip in Mexico

Becoming A Digital Nomad

So if you’ve been following my journey for a while, you’ll know that back in 2010 I decided to save some money, quit my job, sold most of my belongings, and started backpacking around the world, blogging about it as I went.

It was a super scary decision at the time, and I had no idea what the future would bring. My guess was that I’d travel for a year, run out of money, then move back to the US and get a “real” job again.

What actually happened? I managed to build a successful business from my travel blog, and continued to travel almost non-stop for the next 7 years.

Working as a digital nomad from my computer anywhere there was a wifi connection. It was a relatively new kind of lifestyle at the time, and everyone thought I was crazy for attempting it.

During those 7 years without a home, I visited over 50 countries. I lived for months at a time in places like Thailand, Mexico, Turkey, Spain, Nicaragua, and South Africa.

Everything I owned fit into a pair of backpacks — I was completely nomadic. Working for myself. An expert vagabond (hence the name).

I was living the digital nomad dream!

But then my dreams began to change. As they often do over time.

The Downsides of Nomadic Living

Digital Nomad Burnout

I started noticing a change after about 5 years into my fully nomadic lifestyle. Constantly moving from place to place came with it’s own set of problems that became increasingly annoying as the years went by.

Traveling around the world and making money online sounds incredible, I know. And it is in many ways! I’m not complaining. This lifestyle has been very good to me.

However there are also downsides to being a digital nomad.

THIS LIFESTYLE IS EXHAUSTING

Many digital nomads hang out in a country or city for a few weeks before moving on to the next. But you can’t earn money if you’re not working, so now you’re trying to cram work & vacation into a short period of time.

Just when you get into a comfortable routine, it’s time to move and start all over again. Packing up, navigating your way around a new city, a new culture, and all the challenges that go along with those things. It gets tiring!

THIS LIFESTYLE IS LONELY

Yes, you get to meet all kinds of cool people around the world when you’re constantly traveling. But because everyone is always coming or going, it’s tough to form a meaningful connection with anyone.

I missed having a regular group of friends to hang out with. I missed being so far away from family. And unless you plan to date fellow digital nomads, relationships are complicated when only one of you can travel freely.

THIS LIFESTYLE IS UNPRODUCTIVE

Well, I should say less productive than it could be. Sure I managed to build a business while traveling, but it wasn’t easy, and I think I could have grown faster if I worked from a home-base instead of hostels & coffee shops.

Trying to juggle a normal work routine when you’re also trying to figure out where to sleep next week just isn’t ideal. Often, I never wrote much about the places I was living because I was too busy catching up with work after months of traveling.

Nothing Is Perfect

Basically, there is no perfect way to live. By becoming a digital nomad, you simply trade one set of problems for a completely different kind.

“Instead of an addiction to status and possessions, we are addicted to experience and novelty. And the end result is the same. Our relationships, our connections to what’s real, sometimes suffer.” ~ Mark Manson

Maybe, like me, you won’t be bothered by these things for a few years — it was still far more exciting than my previous life in the rat race! But eventually the problems amplify over time… and you’ll have a choice to make.

View of Los Angeles, California

Moving Back To America

As the negatives piled up, I began renting apartments for 3 months at a time. Eventually I signed a year-long lease in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I was slowing down, taking trips that lasted 1-3 weeks, and enjoying them more.

It was nice having a base, a place to call “home” for a while.

However as much as I loved living in Mexico, I soon felt an urge to return to the United States. To spend more time with family & friends. To pursue more lucrative business opportunities there.

And, to participate more fully in my own country’s democratic process, no longer content watching from the sidelines as the United States seemed to spiral into a depressing (dangerous?) abyss of ignorance & hate.

But where to go? Moving from Mexico with my girlfriend Anna, we decided to try Boulder, Colorado for the summer. We’ve been living there with our new cat Poofy (yes, he’s on Instagram!) for the past 5 months.

Boulder was pretty, but not exactly what we were looking for. It was kinda small, very homogeneous, and full of families & students. With our unconventional lifestyles, we felt a bit out of place there.

So now we’re off to California to give Los Angeles a try.

Marriage: Our Next Adventure!

Plus We Got Married!

Surprise! It’s been a busy year. I first met Anna in 2015 at a travel blogging conference called TBEX in Florida, where travel personalities and companies come together to network.

She’s in the same line of work as I am, running a popular travel/fashion blog and Instagram account.

We hit it off right away, with a common love of travel, cats, and working online. The city girl and the adventure guy, both taking risks & working hard to pursue our dreams.

Anna is a remarkable woman. Originally from Poland, she’s been traveling the world for longer than I have. She holds degrees in International Law, Journalism, and Fashion Marketing from multiple universities (including Harvard). She’s fluent in 5 languages, and has lived in places like Mexico City, Cape Town, London, Miami, and LA.

Soon after we met in Florida, Anna came down to Mexico, where we began dating. Eventually we moved in together, using Mexico as a base to travel from. It was one of the happiest periods of my life, and I fell in love.

After a year and a half of dating, living, working, and traveling together, I proposed early one morning at a remote mountain cabin in Colorado. We eloped in Las Vegas a few weeks later at the famous Graceland Chapel!

It was spontaneous, non-traditional, and fun, just like our lives up to this point.

Hiking in Afghanistan

Are You Giving Up Vagabonding?

Yes and no. Yes, I’m giving up on the pipe-dream of constantly moving from place to place, living out of a bag for the rest of my life. What initially sounded romantic, adventurous, and free has become a burden over time.

My goal for this wild experiment has always been to experience as much of our large & diverse world as possible NOW, while I’m relatively young. Not stuck behind a desk working to make someone else rich.

Sharing my travel experiences to help and inspire others, while earning a living on my own terms.

The freedom to do as I please. No approval needed. No bosses to report to. Following my passion and making a living through adventure travel & photography.

Well, I’ve achieved these goals. I am completely location independent. I work for myself, setting my own hours, traveling when and where I want to. I’ve also been fortunate to make a great living doing what I love.

Am I just getting older and feeling a need to slow down? I’m 36 now. Have I simply become financially independent enough that I’m no longer forced to live in cheap backpacker destinations in order to get by?

I think these may have been factors in my decision too.

Chilling In Morocco

Choosing Location Independence

I wouldn’t trade the last 7 years of my life working as a traveling digital nomad for anything else. It’s been a wild ride, and the experience has taught me so much about myself and the world in general.

However I now realize that I prefer location independence over fully nomadic living. Because there’s a difference.

Location independence simply means you are free to choose where you live, not stuck living somewhere you hate because of a particular job. Being a digital nomad means you’re always traveling, with no real home.

We spent the summer in Colorado. We’re planning to spend 2018 in Los Angeles. Maybe after that, we’ll decide to move somewhere else. Italy? Spain? Iceland? Kansas?

With location independence, all our options are open!

The important part, is the freedom to choose my location, and the ability to update that choice at any time.

For those of you who are interested in becoming digital nomads, I don’t want to completely discourage you. The lifestyle does have plenty of benefits, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t give it a shot.

However after 7 years living as a homeless digital nomad, I personally no longer think it’s sustainable (or healthy) on a long-term basis.

I’m not the only one who thinks this way either — it seems to be a common choice for many after a few years on the road:

The Beginning Of The End – Nomadic Matt

9 Years Of Legal Nomads – Legal Nomads

Leaving Is Easy, Fighting Is Harder – Adventurous Kate

The Dark Side Of The Digital Nomad – Mark Manson

My Nomadic Lifestyle Comes To An End – Ottsworld

After 70 Countries, Why I Moved To Portugal – Neverending Footsteps

Life Is A Highway, And I Wanna Ride It

What’s Next?

Honestly, not much is changing. I’m still planning to travel a ton, about 6 months every year. The only difference is now I have a wife, a home, and a cat to come back to once my trips are over!

Sometimes Anna & I will travel together, sometimes I’ll be on my own. I’ll continue sharing my wild travel adventures with you from around the world through blog posts, YouTube videos, and travel photography.

Having a home-base simply means I’ll be more productive, creating useful travel guides, sharing fun travel stories, and teaching tips & tricks I’ve learned after 7 years working as a professional travel blogger & photographer.

To kick off the change, next spring I’m co-leading my first adventure travel & photography tour in a remote part of Russia (click here for details)!

After moving to Los Angeles this week, Anna & I are researching the possibility of TV and media appearances while continuing to build our businesses here in the United States.

Having LAX airport as our travel hub will keep flight costs low, allowing us both to travel often. We have friends here, and more pass through all the time.

There is a wide variety of epic coastline, mountains, deserts, canyons, and forests within a day’s driving distance from the city if I want to get outside into nature for a while.

I know some readers may be disappointed in this change. Those of you who romanticize living on the road out of a backpack. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been putting off publishing this blog post for so long… I was scared.

I built my brand as a vagabond, what happens once I have a home again?

Unfortunately there’s not much I can do about what other people think. I’ve lived as a vagabond for years, and don’t regret my choice, but my passion for constantly moving began to fade.

When you stop loving something completely, it’s time for a change.

I don’t spend my life trying to make everyone else happy with my choices, if I did that, I’d never be where I am now.

So onwards! To the next chapter of my life — I hope you’ll continue to follow along on my future travel adventures, wherever they may lead. ★

READ MORE TRAVEL TIPS

How To Save Money For Travel Best Jobs To Make Money While Traveling Becoming A Professional Travel Blogger

Have any questions about the digital nomad lifestyle? Could you live this way? Drop me a message in the comments below!

This is a post from The Expert Vagabond adventure blog.

0 notes

marilynnewbury-blog · 7 years

Photo

Every year my husband and I argue about where to go on vacation. We've been married thirty-six years so that means we have had thirty-six Vacation Wars.

MY HUSBAND DOES NOT LIKE TO TRAVEL. I DO.

My husband, Cliff, likes to be home more than he likes to be away. I, on the other hand, prefer to leave home the minute our holidays begin and return in the wee hours of the morning just before going back to work. When vacation time rolls around, we both pull out our lists. We don't actually write them out, for after this many years, they are well-rehearsed. My list varies from year to year, but Cliff's never does.

It is not enough that I have set foot on four continents, stood by the shores of three oceans, and travelled to most of Canada and the United States.

I have enjoyed seeing the tulips in Holland, the Viking settlement in L'Anse aux Meadows NL, and the sand dunes on the Oregon coast, but I have not yet experienced Paris.

I have marvelled at the crashing waves in Cape Spear, NL and gazed at the Alps and London Bridge in England, but I have never driven across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA.

I have safaried in the Serengeti, resorted in Mombasa, and shopped in the Jerusalem Old City Market, but I have not been to Alaska.

I want to see more!

Our summer vacation war begins sometime in April or May.

After this many years, we have an unwritten script, and every year we faithfully repeat it.

WIFE: Where are we going to go on vacation this year?

HUSBAND: I don’t want to be gone for too long.

WIFE: We need to get away and have a break.

HUSBAND: At the end of my holidays, I don’t want to look back and see that I was hardly home.

WIFE: So, where would you like to go?

HUSBAND: We could take some short trips around here, and it would be cheap. We could spend the last half of the vacation at home.

WIFE: What are you going to do at home?

HUSBAND: I would like to organize my tools, and then sit in my chair and read or watch TV. I love being in my house. It is so quiet.

WIFE: QUIET? The house is way too noisy!

HUSBAND: NOISY? How can it be noisy?

WIFE: The house is always talking to me: the paperwork screams to be filed, the bed clamours to be made, the weeds laugh behind my back, and the plants yell to be watered. I can’t relax here!

And so the tense negotiations begin.

Fortunately, my husband loves to visit our families who live on opposite sides of the continent. When our three children were younger, driving was the only financially feasible way to visit. With the significant road time, I always hoped for potential stops along the way. This was a problem.

Cliff sits behind the steering wheel. His mantra is drive, drive, drive. His only focus is the final destination. Food and bathroom breaks are annoying interruptions that deter him from his mission of reaching his goal as quickly as possible. His warrior instincts kick in and he aims to conquer the road by passing as many vehicles as possible. I am not sure what he hopes to win, but I have seen the defeated look on his face when he watches all of the vehicles zoom by that he just passed. All stops to view waterfalls or scenic viewpoints only mean he has to pass the same cars again. Enjoying the journey between points A and B is not in his brain vocabulary.

My role is the navigator. I am not sure why my husband still trusts me, but he follows my directions. Over time, I have discovered that my husband has a vulnerable spot in his crusty no-breaks stance: if I can somehow get him to stop, he enjoys almost any place in the world.

I have learned a few ‘tricks’ to use this chink in his armour to my advantage.

TEN STRATEGIES FOR VACATION BLISS

1. Plan bathroom breaks for stops at Visitor Centres

Timing is important: bladder urgency is best when entering a new country, state, or province as visitor centres are usually close to the borders. If possible, also bring out snacks and suggest getting fuel. This will extend the visit so the children have time to browse inside the Tourism Center. Return to the vehicle armed with promotional literature describing the tantalizing local attractions down the road.

2. Get the children on side by creating interest in the above brochures

Start reading the tourism promo material out loud. The children will hopefully join in and want to visit the sites in the brochures. If the children are enthusiastic, Dad will probably agree to go to at least one.

This subtle strategy led to visits to the Terry Fox Monument in Thunder Bay ON, the Reversing Falls in St. John NB, the Statue of Liberty on our only visit to New York NY, a ride on Maid of the Mist at the Niagara Falls ON, and the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto ON. (My son, Stephen, found a brochure for the Toronto museum in a tiny Information Kiosk in rural Saskatchewan and kept it safe all the way to Newfoundland and Labrador and then back to Toronto. He insisted that we go to this museum, and none of us were disappointed.)

3. Get lost with purpose.

Lose the map-reading skills and give directions for an unplanned but desired location. As we were passing by Quebec City QC, my husband was adamant that we would not go into the city, despite my loving pleadings. Finally, I meekly said, “Well, we have to stop for lunch.” As the designated map-reader, I directed him across the bridge and then suddenly had trouble understanding the map. My husband trustingly followed my prompts for a confusing route, and somehow we happened to end up in the centre of old Quebec City.

There was no turning back as my husband now wanted to stay. He rolled down his windows to smell the “European-style” air, strolled around the Old City under the royal shadow of the Chateau Frontenac, toured the Citadel, and tried to have a conversation with the French locals at an ice cream stand. I got to go to Quebec City, and incidentally had no trouble reading the map to get back on to the highway.

4. Use This Would be Good for the Children - shamelessly

I wanted to see Ottawa ON. My husband did not. I dug deep into my manipulation bank and suggested that seeing the Parliament Buildings would be a great educational experience for our offspring. He grudgingly agreed but firmly announced that we would NOT be stopping. I agreed, of course.

When we arrived at the hub of our country's government, I reiterated that the children really did need to go on a tour. My husband, not wanting to be an obstacle to his children's academic success, unwillingly complied. Ten minutes into the tour, however, we would not have been able to drag him away. We stayed for an extra hour to watch the politicians in the House of Commons and then remained for yet another hour to observe the Question Period.

By now, my husband was hooked on seeing Ottawa and the family was free to explore the city. We visited not one, but two museums: the Canadian Aviation and Space Museum and the Museum of Canadian Civilization. After a driving tour of important landmarks and a leisurely supper on a restaurant patio, I eventually pointed out that it might be time to leave. My husband agreed, reluctantly. We had been in Ottawa for six hours.

5. Find destinations that are attractive to the children

In the interest of seeing something new, find activities the children would like to do. I wanted to see Shakespeare at Stratford. My husband and all three kids gave an emphatic, unified negative response. I acquiesced and instead we went to a Toronto Blue Jays Game in Toronto ON.

I got my revenge by always cheering for the losing team, but secretly loved seeing everyone else enjoying themselves. This technique also worked for a trip to the Redwood Forest CA and for surfing in the Pacific Ocean. Dad hauled the RV trailer on the paper-clip shaped road to Tofino BC for one of our final vacations with our two youngest children.

6. Suggest activities that your husband will not be able to resist

Casually mention that the Pioneer Auto Museum is ahead in Murdo, SD. Read the sign, loudly, about the Anne Murray Centre in Springhill, NS. When in the vicinity of the OMNIMAX Theatre in Science World, Vancouver BC, read the titles of films now playing and ask if any of them sound interesting. The go-to-no-fail guarantee for a desired scenic detour is to find a restaurant that has great seafood, preferably with a lobster buffet. Since this method is so successful, I am already planning to use it for future vacations when we are close to Graceland, the White House, and Paris.

7. Occasionally, insist on your own choice and hope the family will enjoy it

The children complained long and loud when I insisted on a visit to Butchart Gardens on Vancouver Island BC. Fortunately, they loved it all - the fountains, concerts, and variety of gardens. We stayed much longer than intended as they begged to see the lights in the dark.

8. Take advantage of unintended delays to see the local sights

Over the years, we have had our share of unexpected delays, usually due to vehicle problems. One year, we had planned be in Ottawa ON by July 1st but instead were stuck in Thunder Bay for Canada Day. We embraced our situation and found plenty of patriotic inspiration in the local fireworks and genuine community spirit. Another time, a belt broke on our vehicle in Portland OR on a weekend. While we waited for the part to be shipped in, we toured the International Rose Test Garden, rode the gondola across the river, and admired the famous bridges. We had similar stories when we waited for repairs in Jasper, Edmonton, St. John's, Halifax, and Milton.

A less pleasant memory is the week we spent in the Walmart parking lot in Red Deer AB waiting for our income tax refund to be deposited into our bank account so that we would have money to continue our holidays. Family tensions soared, but regularly browsing in Walmart helped to ease the friction. The friendly employees were very hospitable, and we found out later that the children created a home theatre for themselves by regularly watching the TVs in the electronic department.

9. Apologize for tactical errors

The day I asked to please see the ocean just one more time when we already were very behind schedule.

The year my detours took longer than intended and we had to drive 24/7 to get back to a wedding.

The time my creative trip planning for the longer scenic route took us through the middle of a dangerous storm, and we had to stop driving. Unfortunately, time was of essence. My husband was not pleased. I'm sorry!

Sometimes, I should just keep my mouth shut and be thankful for sights already seen.

10. Finance Creatively

When the amount of road stretches further than the money, find creative ways to pay for the last leg of the trip home. Increase credit card limits, go into overdrafts, and make late payment arrangements.

This usually is not a good idea, and will be sure to enter the Vacation War dialogue the following year. Your husband will likely adamantly declare he will NOT be going into debt for this year's vacation. In my opinion, he is just looking for an excuse to stay home!

The children are grown and no longer come with us on vacations, but the script remains the same.

Cliff wants to stay at home or just go away for a few days.

I want to see new sights and be gone for as long as possible.

A FEW YEARS AGO...

The annual War of the Vacation was over-shadowed by the pain in my husband’s aching leg. With his hip needing to be replaced for the fifth time, holiday plans were uncertain and unpredictable. The war was more of a discussion dance.

My husband graciously went on a few short trips with me to northern Alberta, the Kootenays, and Banff, which was all he could endure. We arrived home a week too late for Cliff and a week too early for me. When he offhandedly suggested that I could travel by myself for a week, I did not hesitate to accept the offer.

After some creative financing, for which I had plenty of experience, and passport in hand, I was soon on the road heading southwest to Montana. One state led to another – Idaho, Oregon, Nevada, and California. I stopped in San Francisco. It was definitely worth the five days of driving for a two-day visit!

I took a tour on the top level of a double decker bus and had to duck so that trees would not whack my head. I saw the painted ladies. After a short boat ride and a precarious stint on an old-fashioned street car, I strolled the busy pier while inhaling the scents and sounds. I did not go on the large tour boat to Alcatraz, however, as I wanted to wait so I could share that experience with Cliff.

I keyboarded the first draft of this article while gazing at the swell of the San Francisco ocean, intermittently wondering which of my schemes would work to get Cliff to San Francisco on a future trip.

But for that year, the Vacation War was over,and I had seen the Golden Gate Bridge.

TWO YEARS LATER...

Cliff got his fifth right hip and was able to travel again, so we decided to go to the Grand Canyon AZ. After my pressured persuasion and the promise of fresh seafood, he unenthusiastically agreed to a return trip home via the longer route up the west coast. His patience was as sketchy as my map reading ability, especially when the extra miles stretched into additional hours and days. His demeanour changed when we finally got to San Francisco CA. He loved everything about it - the harbour and bridges, the architecture, the roads, the wharf with its sea lions and buskers, and especially the seafood.

The best part for me was the hoped-for harbour boat ride to Alcatraz,and getting to share the view of the Golden Gate Bridge with my husband!

THIS WEEK...

My husband and I have had our annual Vacation War conversations. After we each said our piece, I read him the script I had written several years ago, and we had indeed repeated the dialogue almost word for word. Cliff was not amused.

My husband says that he would like to go on a road trip to the West Coast, but I think he would be just as happy with a drive to the other side of the city. I would like to travel to Yukon, the Arctic Ocean, and Alaska so that I could remove them from my Never Seen list.

So far, none of my strategies of gentle persuasion are working.

Not even the lure of a ferry ride, fishing, cute gift shops, gold panning, or seafood restaurants seems to be having any effect.

Cliff claims that the mosquitoes will be as big as dinasours.

I'm not sure how he knows, since he has never been to the Yukon or Alaska.

I am trying some new strategies to try to lure Cliff to a trip up north:

Enticement: I am hoping that my writing, pictures, and publicity will change his mind.

Manipulation: We could save money, as I now qualify for seniors discounts.

Guilt: Since I am getting older, this might be the last year I will be able to go on such a long trip.

If he bites, I will perhaps be able to ride a train in the Yukon, see dancing Northern Lights, relax by the Arctic ocean, eat baked Alaska, go to a museum, and experience travelling on the Alaska Highway. I have offered to just go by myself, but so far he has not agreed. He probably does not want me to have seafood without him.

In any case, the pysanka egg in Vegreville will have to wait for another year.

Thanks to my children, Stephen, Michael, and Julia (now 30, 28 and 25).

Without you, we would not have had any family vacations,

and I might have been a vacation widow.

Who do you think should win this year's vacation War?

Vote in the COMMENT SECTION BELOW

Originally published at https://www.marilynnewbury.com Subscribe: http:subscribe.marilynnewbury.com

PHOTO CREDITS

Some day, most likely in the very distant future, I will sort through thirty years of photos. Then I will have actual pictures of our vacations for the website. For now, I am grateful to pixabay, unsplash, and flickr for permission to use their photos.

INTRODUCTION

(Golden Gate Bridge CA; Pysanka Egg,Vegreville AB) Golden Gate Bridge in fog; pixabay SuzyLu; Pysanka Egg pixabay Shaawsjank61; Globe in Hands pixabay Geralt

PLACES I HAVE TRAVELLED

(Tulips, Holland; Viking Settlement, L'Anse aux Meadows NL; Sand Dunes OR, Cape Spear NL, Alps, Switzerland; Tower Bridge, London, England; Serengeti Safari, Tanzania; Mombasa Resort, Kenya; Jerusalem Market, Israel)

Tulips in Holland by Louisa Mac CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); L'Anse aux Meadows Historical Park NL by Eric Titcombe CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Sand Dunes OR pixabay Macmaus; Cape Spear NL by Matt Boulton CC BY-SA 2.0 (cropped & resized); Alps pixabay violetta; London Tower Bridge pixabay peremon; Serengeti, Tanzania personal; Mombasa, Kenya pixabay benarudo; Jerusalem Old City Market by israeltourism CC BY-SA 2.0 (cropped and resized)

PLACES I HAVE NOT SEEN

(Eiffel Tower, Paris; Golden Gate Bridge, CA; Alaska). Eiffel Tower pixabay Kaz; Golden Gate Bridge pixabay CC0 Public Domain; Alaska wolf pixabay Public Domain Pictures

TRIP NAVIGATION

Car Sign pixabay CopyrightFreePictures; Glasses with Map pixabay allysonmiller1969 border

STRATEGIES FOR VACATION BLISS

1. Plan bathroom breaks for stops at Visitor Centres. Welcome Center pixabay SooZ8

2. Get the children on side by creating interest in the above brochures (Terry Fox Memorial, Thunder Bay ON; Reversing Falls, St. John NB; Statue of Liberty, New York NY; Boat Ride, Niagara Falls ON; Royal Ontario Museum,Toronto ON)

Terry Fox Statue, Thunder Bay ON by Brett Vachon CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Reversing Falls, St. John NB by Sonja CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Statue of Liberty pixabay nyc_napa; Maid of the Mist, Niagara Falls pixabay CC0 Public Domain; Royal Ontario Museum by Carsten CC BY 2.0

3. Get lost with purpose. (Quebec City QC: Bridge, Old City; Chateau Frontenac; The citadel)

Quebec City Bridge unsplash Drew Coffman ; Old Quebec City pixabay Breaktime; Chateau Frontenac by Prayitno CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); The Citadel by Alonso Inostrosa Psijas CC BY-SA 2.0 (cropped & resized)

4. Use This Would be Good for the Children - shamelessly (Ottawa ON: Parliament Buildings; House of Commons; Canadian Aviation and Space Museum; Museum of Canadian Civilization; Rideau Canal)

Parliament Buildings pixabay Festivio; House of Commons by Scazon CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); CH-113 Labrador chopper in Canadian Aviation and Space Museum by shankar s. CC BY 2.0; Museum of Canadian Civilization by sookie CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Rideau Canal pixabay pcowan5188

5. Find destinations that are attractive to the children (Rogers Centre for Toronto Blue Jays Game,Toronto ON; Redwood Forest CA; Surfing at Tofino BC)

Rogers Centre Toronto Blue Jays by thatlostdog-- CC BY 2.0 (cropped and resized); Redwood Forest personal; Surfing personal

6. Suggest activities that your husband will not be able to resist (Pioneer Auto Museum, Murdo SD; Anne Murray Centre, Springhill NS; OMNIMAX Theatre in Science World, Vancouver BC)

Pioneer Auto Museum, Murdo SD personal; Anne Murray Centre, Used by permission from Anne Murray facebook page; OMNIMAX Theatre, Science World, Vancouver BC by David Stanley CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Lobster pixabay Alina Kuptsova

7. Occasionally, insist on your own choice and hope the family will enjoy it (Butchart Gardens, Vancouver Island BC)

Butchart Gardens, Vancouver Island, BC pixabay Walkways Photoman; Fountains marybettiniblank; Star Pond pwindsor; Foot Bridge Photoman

8. Take advantage of unintended delays to see the local sights (Canada Day in Thunder Bay ON; International Rose Test Garden, Portland OR; Walmart in Canada)

Canada Day Fireworks in Thunder Bay ON by Derek Hatfield CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); International Rose Test Garden, Portland OR by Neeta Lind CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Walmart by Mike Kalasnik CC BY-SA 2.0 (cropped & resized)

9. Be prepared for tactical errors

Driving in Rain by Jason Trbovich CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized)

A FEW YEARS AGO...

Marilyn's Trip to San Francisco (San Francisco CA: Double Decker Tour Bus; Painted Ladies; Street Car; Pier 39; Ocean)

San Francisco: Double decker tour bus by Nick Ares CC BY-SA 2.0 (cropped & resized); Painted Ladies by Jiahui Huang CC BY-SA 2.0 (cropped & resized); Street Car pixabay jingoo10200; Pier 39 pixabay skeeze; Ocean pixabay suyashdixit

TWO YEARS LATER...

Cliff & Marilyn's Trip (Grand Canyon & San Francisco: Harbour & Bridges; Cityscape; Lombard Street; Busker's Guitar; Fishermans Wharf)

Grand Canyon: Photo by Alexandre Godreau on Unsplash (cropped & resized)

San Francisco: Harbour and Bridges pixabay jessebridgewater; Cityscape pixabay tpsdave; Lombard Street by Holiday Point CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Busker's Guitar by Bob Doran CC BY 2.0 (resized and cropped) NOTE: I did not actually see this busker or his guitar; Fishermans Wharf pixabay sarangib

Boat Tour in San Francisco Harbour (Boat; Alcatraz; Golden Gate Bridge)

Boat to Alcatraz pixabay sarangib; Alcatraz Prison pixabay BKD; Golden Gate Bridge with blue sky pixabay kahsky

THIS WEEK...

Arrows pixabay geralt

Travel Destination Maps (Yukon; Arctic Ocean; Alaska/North America)

Yukon map by CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Arctic Ocean by Dan Markeye CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Alaska/North America map by CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized)

Insects (Mosquito & Dinasour)

Mosquito and Dinosaur pixabay OpenClipart-Vectors

Yukon & Alaska Destinations

(Alaska Ferry; Fishing Salmon; Simply Salmon Gift Shop; Gold Panning; Crab Shack)

Alaska Ferry pixabay skeeze; Fishing Salmon pixabay LoveToTakePhotos; Simply Salmon by Public Domain; Gold Panning by CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized); Crab Shack by CC BY 2.0 (cropped & resized)

#Vacation #Travel #Holidays #Family #Marriage #Canada #United States

0 notes