#1 k1nda wanna talk about 1t.

[pesterloglog]

Meenah Peixes, Rufioh Nitram, Kankri Vantas

Act 6, page 5398

MEENAH: sup nitram

RUFIOH: oh, hey doll... you were gone a crazy long t1me...

RUFIOH: good to have you back, though... yo, that bomb stunt you pulled was some crazy sh*t.

#thought you were hatch1ng a sweet f1duspawn w1th that th1ng tbh...

MEENAH: wasnt no thang

RUFIOH: don't sell yourself short... 1 don't th1nk 1 could have done that. you're pretty gangsta, pe1xes.

MEENAH: yeah i know

MEENAH: hey lets stop talking about how badbass i am a minute and talk about you

#wanna axe you things

RUFIOH: shoot, doll...

MEENAH: those wings

MEENAH: you was hatched with em right

MEENAH: or i guess pupated them

#when you hit puperty??

RUFIOH: ha, yeah that's r1ght... 1'm a "m*tant"... don't tell kankr1 1 sa1d that! he's my boy, but you know how he's not down w1th l1ngo l1ke that...

#lingo like... #you know... #regular words

MEENAH: ug dont even say it he will like teleport into our conversation with ghost magic just to shoosh you

RUFIOH: yeah... he does that to you too, huh... that's some crazy sh*t!

MEENAH: ok so you always had wings then

MEENAH: then i guess you arent secretly a god tier or

RUFIOH: nah... m1ght have been cool to go full on rogue... hey, maybe you coulda g1ven me l1ke, steal1ng po1nters... what as a th1ef and all!

RUFIOH: but naw, 1 don't th1nk 1 could have gone through w1th that... not 1ntent1onally 1 mean...

MEENAH: what why not

RUFIOH: 1 don't know... k1ll1ng yourself, that's... a heavy th1ng to do. 1'm not l1ke you, meenah... 1 don't th1nk anyone 1s... well maybe damara 1s k1nda... but maybe we shouldn't go 1nto that, hahaha. let unhatched f1duspawn l1e, you know...

MEENAH: ...

RUFIOH: what 1'm say1ng 1s, you got game... and 1 can d1g that... but 1 was never as brave as people always thought... 1 don't know why they always thought that about me. maybe 1t's my w1ngs or my mohawk... or when 1 shout bangarang somet1mes real loud? makes 1t seem l1ke 1'm the sh1t, w1th b1g self esteem... but my self esteem 1s noth1ng really to crow about... 1 dunno...

MEENAH: alright so you never god tiered but i still dont get somefin

MEENAH: didnt you have a totally fuckin stupid robot body at some point or did i just imagine that

MEENAH: that whole period of time in our session was reel foggy to me i guess because i was dead for a while there

#maybe i got the ghost madness #could SWEAR you was a metal horse tho

RUFIOH: yeaaah...

RUFIOH: no, the robot body was def1n1tely a th1ng... 1 k1nd of blocked that out of my memory too, haha... that was... that sh*t was someth1ng else, yo! crazy...

RUFIOH: 1'm sure you remember how all that started... back when damara and 1 were st1ll dat1ng... r1ng any bells?

MEENAH: yeah

MEENAH: fuckin megido

MEENAH: do we really need to rehash that ancient bullshit drama

#bull #lol #wait... #why dont you ever do bull puns? #FAIL

RUFIOH: no, no... heh, just say1ng 1s all... 1t was that whole th1ng... anyway, that's when horuss was k1nd of mack1ng on me, remember... and 1 wasn't all about to vac1llate w1th h1m and her cause 1 knew how she was... d*mn, so jealous... so f***1ng crazy...

RUFIOH: so she made me a cr*pple, remember?

MEENAH: tag that shit homie

#abaloneism

RUFIOH: d*mn, yeah... 1 mean, she busted me up... couldn't move a muscle... well, could st1ll flap my w1ngs well enough, haha...

RUFIOH: really, 1 thought 1t would be alr1ght, just flapp1ng w1ngs around... 1 could st1ll fly and just hang there l1mp... m1ght have been a dope look!

RUFIOH: but nah... horuss thought better of 1t. bu1lt me the robo-bod, wh1ch was pretty t1ght...

#l1ke l1terally... #screwed that sh*t together T1GHT! #dude 1s good

RUFIOH: lost my w1ngs though wh1ch sucked... and k1nd of awkward just hav1ng a real guy's head on top of a b1g metal body and mak1ng all those d*mn legs move the r1ght way, you know... trott1ng 1s hard work yo.

#espec1ally on sta1rs... #}:(

RUFIOH: better than be1ng a cr*pple though. 1 mean a quadr1pleg1c, oops, haha... but 1 guess you d1dn't know what happened after that, s1nce you and damara were k1ll1ng each other and all...

MEENAH: no what

RUFIOH: well... 1 d1ed. yeah... but...

RUFIOH: that's l1ke... wow, long story... guess you never heard... 1'll tell you some other t1me, 1t's th1s whole crazy th1ng. but...

RUFIOH: 1 was dead, r1ght? and horuss k1ssed me back to l1fe... but just my head 1 th1nk... he was probably stand1ng on some mounta1n str1k1ng a pose l1ke a f***1ng gangsta, probably f1ght1ng a hoofbeast w1th a flam1ng mane and all...

#hope someone pa1nted that sh*t... #1nstant masterp1ece

RUFIOH: so yeah, next you saw me 1 had my normal body aga1n... 1t was cool of h1m to help me all the ways he has.

RUFIOH: and yeah, we went out, me and h1m... for a long t1me after that, k1nda off and on, even after we d1ed... 1n case you were gonna ask...

MEENAH: i wasnt

RUFIOH: r1ght... haha... too much 1nformat1on 1 guess? sorry doll.

RUFIOH: 1 always wanted to thank you for stand1ng up for me... you know, when she cr*ppled me... even though 1t cost ya... that was pure class, pe1xes, 1'll never forget 1t.

MEENAH: man i wouldnt have had to if you could just stand up for yourself sometimes

MEENAH: i mean being paralyzed notfishstanding

RUFIOH: heh... yeah... 1 guess...

MEENAH: you are the only guy in our group who was ever even close to being pretty cool

MEENAH: everyone else sucks but you were almost alright

MEENAH: you were always such a pushover though

MEENAH: pretty lame bro

#TW #CRIPPLE ENTENDRE #suck it

KANKRI: Excuse me. Meenah, "lame" is an a6leist slur, which in this c9ntext is REALLY inappr9priate. Tagging y9ur j9kes with "ir9nic" trigger warnings really d9es n9t excuse the 6ehavi9r. I'll thank y9u t9 refrain fr9m using such terms in the future.

#Als9, when walking, 6e careful n9t t9 flaunt the health 9f y9ur legs.

MEENAH: AAAAAUG)(A

[cowboyfr1end]

before anyone asks... yeah, 1 was at the area 51 ra1d. and yeah, 1 got caught on 1nv1s1ble electr1cal w1re try1ng to fly over the gates. 1 don’t wanna talk about 1t. 

[apicultured-blog]

> Aradia + Sollux: Discuss Pressing Priorities

apicultured hey 1 have a press1ng quest10n why d1d y0u make an alter eg0 w1th a last name y0u cant/w0nt pr0n0unce just w0nder1ng, as 0ne d0es Last Thursday at 11:26 PM

biolacis ii've been thiinkiing about that a lot thii2 afternoon, and ii thiink ii've developed a hypothe2ii2. you 2ee, ii'm 2tupiid.

apicultured a1ght fa1r en0ugh

apicultured u 0k btw

biolacis hungover.

biolacis ii'm feeliing regret twoniight iin thii2 triilii'2.

apicultured blech! d1d y0u dr1nk c0ffee 0r eat s0meth1ng yet?

biolacis ii got liike, two gla22e2 of watered down 2cotch and almo2t blew iit. why diidn't anyone ever tell me ii turned iintwo a hoe when ii driink. ii'll get 2omethiing.

apicultured d1d y0u try t0 put the m0ves 0n karkat

biolacis no ii diid NOT. ii ju2t. yknow. got friiendly wiith everyone.

biolacis nothiing weiird about iit.

apicultured 0h s0 y0u put the m0ves 0n every0ne?

biolacis no AA ii diidn't put the move2 on everyone.

apicultured darn s0 y0u tr1ed t0 what, hug pe0ple? '1111 L00VE Y0U BRAHHHHHHH' pe0ple? because hahahaha 0h my g0d at least y0u d1dnt l0se y0ur glasses

biolacis that'2 what *you're* liike when you driink, fool.

apicultured hey hey,

apicultured theres n0 need f0r th1s, 1m like that /s0ber/

biolacis that'2 true. anyway2 yeah thank the god2 below ii 2tiill have my gla22e2.

apicultured y0u cant drag me 1f 1 can drag me better yeah

biolacis iif ii lo2t them ii'm pretty 2ure NP would've 2uperglued them two my face. god.

apicultured y eha

apicultured the l1sp came cl0se but ykn0w hell th1nk 0f s0meth1ng plaus1ble

biolacis ii don't thiink he 2u2pected anythiing. he 2eem2 two thiink ii wa2 ju2t embarra22ed about iit.

biolacis god how diid ii thiink ii wouldn't have two 2ay my full name at 2ome poiint.

apicultured d1d y0u p1ck 1t 0r d1d npe *nepeta als0 hey 1t happens t0 the best 0f us, and 1n th1s, 1t seems, we are n0t the best 0f us why b0ther h1d1ng the l1sp th0ugh? 1ts n0t l1ke y0ure the 0nly tr0ll w1th 1t

biolacis ii diid. ii fiigured 2iince ii'm named after 2tar2 iit would be ea2y two piick more 2tar2 for an oh that'2. that'2 a diirect correlatiion. AA.

biolacis ii'm goiing two diie a 2wiift and merciile22 death 2ome day 2oon and ii want you two wriite on my grave2tone "totally had iit comiing." anyway2 ii wa2 only tryiing two hiide iit from hiim.

biolacis ii diidn't want another rea2on for hiim two be 2u2piiciiou2.

apicultured that 1s actually a d1rect c0rrelat10n wh1ch 1s amaz1ng 0f c0urse 0ur sense 0f theatr1cs w0nt be 1mpeded by th1ngs like "c0mm0n sense" h0wever 1ts n0t l1ke "hey this weird tealblood IS SECRETLY THE HEIR BECAUSE THEY HAVE SIMILAR NAMES" 1s a th0ught th0ught by pe0ple 0f the sane persuas10n s0 1 th1nk 1t sh0uld be f1ne!

apicultured als0 karkat 1s waaaay t00 l0g1cal and clear m1nded t0 ever catch w1nd 0f the stup1d absurd bullsh1t we are d01ng, lets be real

apicultured l1ke, wh0 even d0es th1s

biolacis 2orry, ii wa2 out wiith NP for awhiile and when ii came back ii dove iintwo a call and ii can't ii heard hiim cryiing AA. ii don't know what happened but ii heard hiim cryiing, ii couldn't even a2k what wa2 wrong, ii.

biolacis do we have two even do thii2, why can't we ju2t tell hiim.

apicultured 1 d0nt kn0w - remember 1 sa1d the exact same th1ng? 1 th1nk 1ts y0ur secret t0 tell and 0n the pract1cal s1de h1s res0urces can 0nly help us help us d0....whatever the fuck were d01ng 1 guess d0 y0u kn0w why he was cry1ng? 0n0

biolacis my re2pon2e two all of the2e thiing2: ii don't know. ii acciidentally came iin on what ii thiink wa2 a priivate conver2atiion and he wa2 drunk and kept apologiiziing for not beiing compo2ed.

apicultured 0n0

biolacis the other per2on wa2 drunk two and wa2 about two tell me what happened after he went two bed but iit felt weiird and creepy two let them tell me wiithout hii2 knowledge.

apicultured thats true...wh0 were they?

biolacis iidk, 2omebody named liil.

biolacis iit wa2 weiird and ii feel liike a real creep about the whole thiing.

apicultured 1ts n0t l1ke y0u eavesdr0pped 0n purp0se 0r s0meth1ng

apicultured 1 als0 feel k1nda bad f0r keep1ng 1t a secret fr0m h1m... he t00k y0ur death really hard s0 d1d we all really, but espec1ally h1m

biolacis yeah. ii'm. 2tiill 2orry, AA.

apicultured 1t wasnt y0ur fault 1t happened, sh1td1ngus n0ne 0f 1t 1s.

biolacis part of iit wa2, cockwea2el. but ii'm 2orry for the griief iit cau2ed you. whether iit wa2 my fault or not, iit 2tiill hurt you and everyone el2e.

apicultured bppthtphpbpthpthph hey, d0nt w0rry ab0ut 1t

apicultured 1m just glad y0ure back and 1m n0t dead

biolacis me: (actiively worryiing about iit) cool ii won't worry about iit. ii'm glad we're both here two.

apicultured wh0 even k1dnapped y0u 1ll make the1r tech strangle them 0r s0meth1nf fuck yeah be1ng here 1 1nv1ted karkat f0r a m0v1e 0r game marath0n th0 he hasnt answered heads up s0 y0u kn0w 1f y0u can be there 0r n0t 1f he says yes

apicultured th0ugh 1 v0te f0r tell1ng h1m because 1 d0nt really kn0w what r1sk c0uld 1t be

biolacis 2ome douchebag named eriidan. he call2 hiim2elf "rope2" but iit'2 2o 2tupiid that he can't get anyone el2e two call hiim that.

biolacis al2o thank2 for the head2 up, ii'm. not really 2ure what ii'm goiing two do yet.

biolacis NP thiink2 he'2 a huge liiabiiliity becau2e of hii2 2hiit wiith the paparazzii, whiich ii can 2ee, but.

apicultured . . . . . .1 th1nk 1 kn0w h1m fr0m fvrrp. he kept h1tt1ng 0n me and 1 kept ru1n1ng h1s tech. well, hed rather d1e than betray y0ur secret, s0 all y0ud have t0 d0 1s n0t be 0verly cl1ngy 1n public 1 guess?

biolacis what the fuck. and ii thought he wa2 a creep two me lmao, of cour2e the guy hiit2 on dii2iintere2ted people onliine.

biolacis ii got two punch hiim iin the face when NP broke me out 2o that wa2 pretty 2weet. ii 2hould've hiit hiim extra hard iin your honor. and 🤷‍♀️. me not beiing overly-cliingy, ii have been told, ii2 iimpo22iible, but ii'll try talkiing two NP about iit agaiin. ii want u2 all two be able to hang out twogether. ii don't want thii2 two be a weiird thiing between all four of u2, no le22.

apicultured hahaha, d1d y0u kn0ck a t00th 0ut?

apicultured hahaha g0dd 1 kept awaken1ng h1s b10tech's wh1thered breed1ng subr0ut1nes s0 h1s c0mputer w0uld try t0 hump h1m 0r anyth1ng nearest and h0nestly 1m st1ll pr0ud 0f that well, 0nly 1n publ1c! wrap ar0und h1m 1n pr1vate as much as y0u want my guy, 1ts n0t l1ke 1 havent bas1cally d0ne that t0 every0ne s1nce my ressurect10n 1...1 want us all t0 hang 0ut and have fun t00.

biolacis ooooh my gooood.

biolacis that'2 fuckiing hiilariiou2. ii would have paiid my own weiight iimperiial2 two 2ee that 2lobberiing liittle ba2tard get t-bagged by hii2 own computer. iif ii ever 2ee hiim agaiin (let'2 hope not) ii'll ab2olutely 2nag a tooth for you.

biolacis 2iigh. ii. ju2t want u2 two be able two all catch up on the tiime we've mii22ed out on each other all the2e 2weep2. ii wii2h we diidn't have two do iit 2eparately. or 2neakiily. you and KK alway2 got two 2pend tiime twogether, and KK and ii diid two, but never the three of u2. ii alway2 really wanted that. hopefully. hopefully iit won't alway2 be liike thii2.

apicultured 1f he tr1es t0 get at y0u aga1n y0ull see a rerun 0f the 0le t-bag v1rus, but yeah lets av01d h1m 0n0 1t w1ll happen! y0u w0nt h1de away f0rever. cm0n lets ask nep

biolacis ehehe. ii'll have two a2k you for the 2criipt for that one. alriight.

biolacis rub2 face.

apicultured 1ll gladly share 0u0 we can talk t0 her t0gether 1f y0u l1ke als0 we can play v1de0games bef0re talk1ng t0 her 0r s0meth1ng, 1 dunn0 well get thr0ugh th1s, s0llux, we g0t th1s

biolacis iif we play viideo game2 then you have two promii2e not two kiick my a22 at lea2t one tiime. iit'2 alriight. ii can do iit, unle22 you wanna talk two her two.

apicultured hahahahah weeeaaak

biolacis we'll be okay.

apicultured but 0kay, scrubl0rd

apicultured and yeah sure mental backup and sh1t hell yeah we w1ll

biolacis ii *am* weak. ii weiigh 90 lb2 and ii liive on a nectar2uckler'2 diiet. ii'm talkiing whiite chocolate chiip2 and miike'2 hard lemonade. let me make a group chat.

apicultured please eat s0me hearty p1zza 1 beg 0f y0u n1ce

biolacis ii eat a 2liice of piizza. ii 2hriink by two iinche2.

apicultured 1ts g00d f0r y0u!

biolacis ii'm a healthy boy.