#001. 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐖 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 / mus

[nsirius]

𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 ✦

tojours  pur.  not  just  a  crest,  but  a  legacy and  a  promise.  as  a  boy,  you  traced  your  family  tree  with  soft  fingertips,  skirting  around  the  scorch  marks  and  picking  at  the  paper  with  prim,  perfect  nails.  above  you,  a wall  of  constellations  and  stars;  your  heritage  delineated  in  the  cosmos.  you  were  a  proud  child   —   arrogant  by  nature  and  bolstered  by  your  parents’  insistence  that  you  were  exceptional  by  virtue  of  blood  and  birthright.  a  hero  of  myth  in  a  world  of  mortal  men. 

but  when  you  were  tall  enough,  when  you  scrambled  over  the  walls  and  emerged  into  the  world  beyond  your  father’s  kingdom,  you  found  yourself  standing  toe  to  toe  with  an  uncomfortable  truth.  when  you  played  with  the  muggle  children  in  the  back  alleys and up the closes,  when  you  fell  and  skinned  your  bony  elbows,  your  wounds  were  still  fringed  with  grit  and  dirt.  you  compared  battle  scars  and  felt  your  heart  sink  as  the  realisation  set  in.  there  was  no  ichor  in  your  veins.  you  all bled  the  same. 

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 / 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀��  . . .

but you clung onto faith. you wanted so badly to believe in your legacy that, when you shouldered your way into a carriage with three other boys and proclaimed yourself to be a god, you clawed and spat at the bright-eyed stranger who told you it wasn’t so. we’re all the same here, he said smugly. you’d better just get used to it. 

and as it later transpired, you were the same. four boys connected by four threads of fate — all red and gold. your stomach dropped and your cheeks flamed as you slunk towards the lions’ den; the dark eyes of your family boring into you from across the hall. it was your first taste of an othering. you wrote to your mother and told her of your troubles and creeping doubts. you begged her to explain and to set your mind at ease, but she did not return your letter. 

and as autumn turned to winter, as you edged closer to your new companions with all confidence of a mean stray, you began to wonder. 

𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 / 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 . . .

the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. you were brothers in more than just name — and you did have a name; a shared moniker chosen over the course of long nights spent scheming and laughing and swapping secrets. you would have split your palms and sealed your fates together gladly.  

but as you grew older, and as your shadows grew longer, you began to sense that you'd been cast adrift in a dark ocean. the waters yet uncharted were deep, and dark, and home to unseen monsters — but you knew them all too well. they smiled back at you in the mirror and in polaroid photos; once-treasured memories, now turned sour. you’re one of them, aren’t you? sirius black. dip your head below the surface and you’ll grow scales and sharp teeth. do it, and you'll be free to swim. 

you’re struggling to stay afloat, and you’re starting to sense that your friends would sooner see you tugged down by the current than hoist you back to shore. there’s both light and dark inside you, but maybe your light is different to theirs — the cold fire of a star on the brink of collapse. . .