#.maybe if you improved the accessibility of your tower and stopped living in a bog people would do more business with you

[wizardcurse]

i feel that you’re stinky and your wizard spells are not as cool and pretty as mine and my hat is more dashing and handsome

Morofin the Delirious I know this is you. Stop hate messaging me just because you got reported to the wizard council for selling counterfeit botanicals. Your wizard hat was stolen from my grandmother Judithica and you know it

[thirteenthspirit]

ESG Investing in the Pokémon World

As a financial advisor (aka professional bank pimp), it seems the concept of “Sustainable Investing” has really taken hold this past year, despite being around for quite a few years. I was pondering new investment ideas and recommendations (so they can sit patiently on my desk waiting for my boss’s approval) and noticed that most of them are ESG-focused. Of course.

As a Millennial (like that means anything), imagining that your investments might go towards helping someone or doing some good for the world is a key motivation. I don’t mind even sacrificing some additional returns, if that means my money is being put to good use. Unfortunately, I don’t really have a lot of like-minded people as Clients, so raw returns still dominate the investment sphere. But we’ll get there!

I want to explain a bit what it is we call ESG – Environmental, Social and (Corporate) Governance Investing. It is a very studied and elaborated research topic that has become so convoluted that virtually any company can be qualified as ESG-passable (sigh). A company with a high ESG score means it Excels in all or one of these three key areas. The ESGest of them all, try to integrate in their daily practices some of the UN’s 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), which range from ending world hunger to reducing inequality, climate action, etc.

I’ve also been replaying Pokémon Platinum (ayyy you see where this is going don’t you?) – probably not, since you haven’t read my previous newsletters. But anyway.

Sinnoh could really benefit a lot from some ESG-focused investing, especially in the Environmental aspect of it. The first thing that popped into my mind was the Fuego Ironworks. No, it is not related to the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest runner-up’s song of choice, but rather a big warehouse-like facility harboring a huge furnace in the center of it all. If you manage to get past the arrow-one-direction-thingies leftover from the renovation of the Viridian Gym, you eventually reach this massive incinerator. Ok, so, fossil fuels are a big no-no in the battle for climate change. Hydrogen plants and renewable energies trump coal mines and similar facilities. So I would take that big chunk of investor money and shut down the Fuego Ironworks. I know what you’re thinking – WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA CATCH A POKÉMON WITH FLAME BODY THIS EARLY IN THE GAME so I can hatch that perf Togepi (because what else) – but fret not, those Magmar can relocate to Stark Mountain. But uh… maybe I’d try to throw a couple of Slugma near the Lost Tower or something, so you can still hatch them eggs early on. Need a motherboard-frying Magnemite? You can now catch them in Iron Island! Have fun.

But shutting down a massive energy-producing (assumption here assumption there la la la) facility like this is BOUND to have an effect on the residents, especially for the people who live in the nearby towns – I mean where else are Floaroma residents supposed to work? Smell the flowers in the floaroma medow (which is somehow located DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE IRONWORKS but ok)? Serve as night guides to wandering girls and their Chansey in Eterna Forest? Or sweat away in the Valley Windworks?

Huh? Windworks? Like an actual wind power farm? Grab ‘em Pachirisu and let’s go!

Seriously, the Valley Windworks would be exactly where my inflows would go. From any residual money gathered from the sale of the Ironworks, my investors could provide a massive overhaul of the windworks. We could bring specialists in from Hoenn’s Weather Institute and build a ton more Teletubbies (my boyfriend’s endearing nickname for those huge fan-thingies). Maybe we could even expand to hydraulics, what with that huge river flowing alongside the facility. Just imagine the drifloon! One for each doom-bearing child.

Ok great! We’ve managed to take action by remodeling the energy supply from the area, effectively diminishing its carbon emissions while preserving the citizens’ quality of life. For me that qualified as a big E investment! And maybe our work wouldn’t stop here, if you’ve got a few cents in your pocket imagine if we could harness the energy from Mt. Coronet! With cares not to disturb any dimensional beings or pseudo-gods. Just a thought.

Miss Moving On is a song by Fifth Harmony. Next we have the “Social” aspect of ESG investing. This would be the category where you would find the community-improving or demographic and populational aiding aspects. Infrastructures, accessibility, any and every thing that could better a population’s daily routine and ensure its sustainability for generations to come. So which issues plague Sinnoh residents? I can think of a few – weird people with bowl-shaped haircuts stealing Pokémon, people-swallowing marshes, freakin’ SELFDESTRUCTING ROCKS (née Geodude) and the occasional time/space distortions from the odd attempt at creating new universes.

Well let’s not go overboard with our intervention, we cannot hope to solve ALL problems plaguing our beloved residents. Let’s start with a simple issue. Little Timmy loves everything related to boats. Boats boats boats and sometimes ships – so he loves going to Sunyshore City, to see the Lighthouse. He goes whenever he can - he swears one time he even had a date with a girl who was visiting with her Ampharos! Legend has it for him it was love at first sight. But she had a ship to catch, bound for her hometown region. So they agreed to meet that very night, before she departed. She waited and waited, but Timmy never came. With tears in her eyes, the girl was last seen boarding the ship, never to return…

Dang it Timmy! Why did you do that?

Well… the thing is, Timmy tried. Timmy lives in Solaceon town and works for the local newspaper. So on that afternoon, after collecting his heart scales, he cheerfully got on his bike and began pedaling, heading to meet his lover. But there is no direct route from Solaceon to Sunyshore – Solaceon is pretty much isolated where it stands, one has to either go North trough Veilstone or face the marshes of the south through Pastoria, to finally traverse route 222 to the city.

Since a bike would sink pretty hard on the bog, Timmy rode North. He got drenched in rain before reaching Veilstone, though – forcing him to change clothes in the city before carrying on. Oh and he claims to have also had an encounter with a couple of Psyduck which seemed pretty checked out… I assume Misty rammed her bike into one. After leaving the city, he just had to face – I’m sorry, am I reading this correctly, inexistent participant – “hellhounds”. Um… ok… Timmy is a BIG Supernatural fan (Destiel FTW). But he finally made it to the Hotel Grand Lake – the last rest stop before reaching Sunyshore. His legs were already tired, and he was sweatin’ bullets, but his spirits were high as a Staravia!

“I’m sorry sir but Route 222 is closed until further notice, due to the occurrence of a blackout”.

Aaaand that was the end of Timmy’s love story. Don’t feel bad for him, I hear he went on to win a Pulitzer from his work on exposing the Ditto sex trafficking scheme.  

Maybe if Timmy had been a little faster on his route, he could’ve avoided the blackout altogether, it is just such a long stretch of Sinnoh to traverse…

Like Timmy, many residents who work in East Sinnoh face this issue in their daily commute – the lack of viable connections. So where could we begin to tackle this subject?

Well I heard of a guy who has been trying to dig a tunnel from Route 2014, to Solaceon Town, all by himself! Must be tough, Excadrill weren’t even invented back then…

Maybe our kind investors could give him a hand with their funds! We could make the efforts go faster and more smoothly, maybe even establish some underground ferry mechanism to aid in the crossover. Create a separate entrance, so people wouldn’t have to disturb the Unown. The newly crafted pathway would sure come in handy for travelers, maybe even helping in dynamizing Solaceon or Celestic Town with tourists staying at the Hotel Grand Lake! Seems like a somewhat simple-enough project for us to tackle.

So we basically identified a necessity, designed a way to overcome said necessity and then implemented it – thus creating sustainable impact!

Fantastic! Stunning!

Speaking of stunning – hrm, our efforts might be a bit derailed if these “blackouts” continue. Maybe someone could go have a chat with Volkner, to stop experimenting with the power grid? Perhaps Flint could help, I hear they get along quite well… Does he even have a license to tinker with the mechanisms? What, imaginary voice? You don’t need one in Sinnoh? So you mean I can just connect my Raichu to a generator and power my entire 12-story building?

That seems… unlawful. Couldn’t we do something to change that? Well, we could write a strong-worded letter to the lawmakers of Sinnoh, urging them to pass legislation on these activities. Maybe even use our leftover funds to raise enough awareness on this issue, so we could enact this change in policy! Wow, that’s what I call putting the G in Governance.

Random segway aside, that is exactly what the last letter in ESG is meant to state – policy, rules, means of internal conduct and culture that an organization runs with. And apart from Volkner’s constant need to reinvent his contraptions, there is a topic on which we can praise Sinnoh – gender equality.

Now, we recognize that we don’t know the details, but let’s assume Gym Leaders are paid equally, as not to have poor shivering Candice earning 70 cents on the poke-dollar, compared to Byron’s wage. 4 female and 4 male gym leaders comprise Sinnoh’s gym challenge. 50/50, nice message to relay. Ok fine, if we only look at the number and don’t analyze much else, we can give Sinnoh a passing grade on this one… what about the Elite Four?

The Elite Four is also comprised of 2 male and 2 female members. Wow, nicely thought out. And Cynthia is given enough screen time to actually be a fleshed out character, even appearing in several generations. She is, after all, in my opinion, the toughest Champion the Player is required to face.

But other generations don’t really follow suit – the list of League Champions or Elite Four members is comprised mostly of men… In these regions perhaps some gender diversity or inclusion metrics could be put in place, starting with getting each of them to affirm their stance and compromise with ending gender inequality in the League Challenge!

For that, I guess we’ll have to take that same ship and sail away to another region, with the sure knowledge that (maybe) we managed to help Sinnoh inch a little closer to a sustainable future!

Your ESG-type Trainer,  

                                                                                                 -João A. (Pachiren)  

[ladala99]

Spyro Reignited Countdown - Spyro the Dragon

Hey, as someone who only owns a Switch of the current console generation, and as someone who grew up playing Spyro on the PS1, I’m super hyped for the return of the dragon!

And I thought up yesterday, what better way to do that than by reviewing every Spyro game I’ve played.

Well, I’ve played... *counts* 22 Spyro games. Counting the 3DS ports of Skylanders games which are different enough to talk about separately.

Alright divide the number of days left until it comes out and...

Uh... one every two days, huh? Guess I better get started! (May space them out or have bonus comparisons/recaps at the end to deal with the extra days)

Spyro the Dragon

The first Spyro game! Also the first video game I ever played. One day, when I was 3, my dad plopped me down in front of the Playstation, gave me the controller, and started up some demo disk. The first one on there was this game called Spyro the Dragon, and he told me what the buttons did (since I couldn’t read the screen that told you), and let me play.

I told my mom about it (divorced parents), and we rented the game from Hollywood Video. *She* played it. She loved it. And I loved watching. And pressing buttons on a controller put into slot 2. I had a fancy Barbie controller. I don’t know what eventually happened to it.

Eventually the Hollywood Video lost the disc and we bought it for ourselves. We were renting it every week, anyway. I remember us going up to the video game counter and my mom going “We’d like to get this game, it’s about a dragon...” and I shouted “And he’s purple! And his name is Spyro!” I loved him so much.

Now I didn’t play through the entire game myself until I was a teen, but unlike any other game, I did see the ending as a kid because my mom was able to make it through the game, into 100%. It’s a series we bonded over, and I have so much nostalgia for it. I can’t wait to play it in Reignited and see what she remembers.

Anyway, stopping with the memories and onto the review! It’s just... really hard to be fair for a game like this. I have too much nostalgia related to it. Honestly, though, that’s the case for a lot of the series.

Gameplay

Spyro the Dragon is an early 3D platformer. Despite being early, though, it controls really well. I’ve played a few others from that era (Croc, uh... Crash? Maybe not a few) and none of them control quite as well as Spyro does. Spyro is extremely responsive, stopping and starting on a dime.

You have two attacks, spitting fire and charging with your horns. The latter can be used to move quicker, but you don’t turn as sharply when running. When to use each attack is well-conveyed, as large opponents are immune to your horns, but weak to your fire, and opponents with a shiny metal shield are the opposite. There’s a few enemies immune to both, but they can be beaten by ways that are broadcasted well.

Collectables

One of those ways is the dragons. There’s three main collectables in this game: Gems, Eggs and Dragons. Gems are everywhere, Eggs are only in a few levels, and Dragons are placed in key locations in each level. The Dragons are I suppose the main collectable, but all three are needed for progress. Dragons in particular also double as tutorial and lore pieces, as each tells you something when you free him. They also all look unique, with each of the five species having their own general look and each individual having his own textures. I go into a lot more detail in this blog post. This really makes the dragons in this game stand out amongst the series, as no other collectables are nearly as unique.

Gems I don’t really know what to say about. Many collectathon platformers have collectables like them: something spread around every level so you need to explore the entire play area. Gems are special in that each one has a different value: red being 1, green being 2, blue being 5, gold being 10, and purple being 25. And this spread shows approximately how common each was, with the lower values being more common and spread around, and the higher values being rewards for going into more out-of-the-way areas. Collecting them is satisfying, especially in larger amounts. Just watching the numbers spin is one of the highlights of this game, especially at the end of the bonus level.

Eggs are special. They come from chasing down blue thieves, which are the most annoying enemy in the game. Sure, now I can get them in one try, but back at the beginning the ones that don’t have a full circular path were the most annoying things, since if you got to the end, they’d just jump out of reach and taunt you.

Powerups

There’s two main powerups in this game: Superflame and Supercharge. Both have a couple of levels that use them extensively.

Superflame definitely is the weaker of the two. You get kissed by a fairy, turn red, and then for a limited amount of time you can use your flame breath to destroy metal objects and enemies. In the two levels it’s in, there’s an enemy you specifically need to use it on: the terrifying spiders and the enchanted suits of armor. The thing is, Superflame otherwise looks and works exactly like normal flame, just is usable on more things. While it’s cool to get the limitless one in Haunted Towers, overall it’s not a very memorable ability, and is improved dramatically in the sequels.

Supercharge you get from charging over lit arrows, and it enhances your charge to work on larger enemies and makes you go really, really fast. It takes a bit to master, but once you do, it is a very satisfying skill to use. Too bad none of the levels in this game have a limitless track to use it on. The levels that use it use it in very creative ways, including the one where I’m not even sure how you’re supposed to know the path you’re supposed to take. It really spices up the gameplay, to the point where Tree Tops feels like an entirely different game. And if you know me, you know that I love games that spice up the gameplay.

Bosses

The one weak point of this game is its bosses. They’re basically normal enemies, just with a slight gimmick. And that gimmick usually involves a large battlefield where they will run away from you. It does make you feel powerful: after all, they’re running away from the fire-breathing dragon attacking them. But at the same time, they offer very little challenge. The only really interesting one is Metalhead with his electric-guarded power generators, but even then, it’s not like he can hit you or anything unless you’re standing completely still. And the final boss is only hard because of how many holes the stage has in it. Not at all because of Gnasty. He’s still the most likely to directly hit you of all the bosses, but that’s not saying much.

Levels

The levels are all themed to their world, which is pretty neat, but does get repetitive at times. Still, it made each world feel more real.

Speaking of things feeling more real, something I’ve noticed is that Spyro the Dragon doesn’t fall into the same pitfall of having platforms that are just platforms because this is a platformer. Every piece of land is connected to something, oftentimes even in Dream Weavers which is literally floating islands. Moving platforms are caused by wizards, dangerous platforms are caused by Gnorcs zapping them, and often random platforms in the middle of the level are themed to it, like the stumps in Beast Makers.

The game progresses from easy to hard very smoothly, adding more gimmicks and platforming challenges as it goes along. This is also shown by the Gnorcs getting more competent as the game goes along, beginning with no weaponry in Artisans, getting cannons in Peacekeepers, electricity in Beast Makers, and finally machine guns in Gnorc Gnexus. Too bad Gnasty never learned to use a gun.

Story

Gnasty Gnorc turns all the dragons into crystal for insulting him on live TV. And if you read the instruction manual you learn that he hates gems because he hates his own reflection because he is too ugly. Really, there’s not too much here, but that’s not the point of the game. At least it’s not a save-the-girl plot. You don’t really see save-the-adults too often.

Unique in the Series?

Truly what makes this game unique is the fact that it’s completely platforming-based. No minigames, few gimmicks, just the entire game is platforming and collecting stuff.

This comes with a lack of real NPCs, which many people find makes the game lonely, but I don’t mind at all. It’s definitely a different feel from later games, but it’s not in a bad way.

Also something I’m surprised is unique to this game is the fact that many of the secrets involve going onto parts of the level that look like they should not be accessible. You glide onto the surrounding hillsides in Stone Hill, you climb up nearly-invisible steps in Terrace village, and you use the walls that look just like random scenery to fully explore Misty Bog. This type of thing isn’t used in future Spyro games, and rarely (if ever?) in video games in general. Truly a unique experience that has since turned me into an accidental bug hunter because I keep trying to get out-of-bounds just in case in other games.

Conclusion

All-in-all, Spyro the Dragon is tied for my favorite video game of all time with its sequel, Spyro 2. I compare everything I play to these games. They’re just the standard. I love them. Nostalgia-bias? Maybe. But despite there being a few flaws, I can’t really find fault when I play it. It’s too fun.