#.but the. the typing box.. the little box.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[darthpseudonym]

Look at a bag of dried beans. Look at a sesame seed. Are those alive? Are they living things? A virus is much less of a living thing than those are.

By itself, a virus doesn't do anything. It doesn't eat, it doesn't excrete, it doesn't grow or act. It's a dry bean waiting to randomly bump into some damp soil. A little ball of potential, inert. But, when it infects a cell, the virus ceases to exist as a distinct thing. That weird looking frame is discarded, unnecessary, the shell of the egg. But what's inside isn't a sprout or an egg. It's a little strand of genetic code. By itself, still dead, still without function. It only has meaning in the context of a cell.

A virus in its "living" state doesn't even exist as anything but a fragment of material inside a cell, rewiring the cell's machinery to build seeds that contain copies of that same genetic code. You might as well say that a paper in a photocopier is alive. (Or perhaps the manuscript that a monk is working to copy over and over by hand for years.)

Viruses are something less than life and something more than a poison. Like a parasite that has shed everything we can possibly think of as a sign of living. It has only two modes of existence: An inert seed or a set of instructions in another creature's cell.

It gets even worse when you look at prions. A prion is a protein that's folded in just the wrong sort of way so that if it bumps into another protein of the proper type, it forces that other protein to refold into the same shape as the prion. Reproduction by pure physical process, not even chemistry, as if origami could self-replicate by sitting on a flat sheet of paper. Prions are only dangerous because the proteins they're re-folding are, like, important to making brain cells work or whatever.

It's not that our definition of life is wrong or bad; it's simply that choosing between "life" and "not-life" is a false dichotomy that demands drawing a nice neat human box around a universe that doesn't operate by nice neat human definitions.

I’m so mad that a t4 bacteriophage actually looks like that and that it’s appearance isn’t made up

[dreamertf]

Follow the Instructions

/hello! Hope you enjoy this one, im gonna start tagging ai as #ai tf so if you dont want to see any ai images in your tfs you can block that tag. Ill also be putting a disclaimer at the top of each post that has ai.

/contains ai images & video

/includes; muscle growth, suggestion tf, straight to gay tf

"Yeah, Im feeling fine!"

Jason was tired of how weak and scrawny his best friend Max stayed throughout their time in high school and now, college. So he had given Max a new black market roid that promised to "make him a bro." He crushed up a few of the pills without looking at the instructions and baked it into a cookie he gave Max.

Jason wasn't so bad himself, 6'4" and muscular, with a charming face. Little did he know that his height that he had since he was a sophmore in highschool would be changing.

Jason stared at Max as his skin started to ripple and shift.

"Are you sure?"

"Never better, bro."

Max ripped his shirt off as his muscles swelled. A deep canyon of rippling abs leading up to two giant slabs of muscle. He flexed and stretched as his biceps filled out.

"Sorry, im feeling a little hot." Max said non chalantly. His muscles continued to grow as he flexed them.

"Oh my god it worked"

"What worked?"

"Oh nothing, dont worry about it."

"Ok brah"

Their surrounds changed from school as it turned into a living room, a living room Jason had been in so many times before, Max's living room. All of a sudden, Jason felt a pull towards Max. He couldn't stop looking at him, like literally. He traced Max's outline as each muscle became more prominent. He stared at the giant as he grew taller and taller, but something wasn't right. It was like everything around Jason was getting taller too.

Unfortunately, Jason hadn't looked into how the roid actually worked. On the back of the small blue box, it read ;

Are you tired of being weak and nerdy? We got you covered. We believe the human mind is a powerful tool, and our Bro Pill helps you to use it to your full potential! Not only does it shift your mindset to be more focused on sports and the bros, but it also changes various other aspects of your life in order to fit your new you! We recommend taking one pill weekly until desired affects.

WARNING: taking more than one pill a week may intensify the effect you have on other people

Jason panicked as he felt himself losing muscle and height. His features softened as he turned from a rugged man into a young 20 something twink. It looks like the god of Jason's creation has type cast him as his twinky boyfriend. Making Max a jock apparently didn't override his sexuality.

"What are you doing to me?"

His voice was still deep, too deep for someone like him.

"Make that voice a little higher, and can you please quit being so worried brah? Be like me, stop thinkin as much little guy huhuhu."

A wave of relief came over Jason as he collapsed onto the couch. His body continued to shrink as he lost his height, becoming about 5'6" compared to Max's new 6'8". His musculature toned down more, not as defined anymore.

"Whatever you say babe" Jason giggled, his voice much higher and more flamboyant.

"Thats my pretty boy." Conversely, Max's voice became much deeper and demanding. Jason felt himself starting to get hornier.

"I'm so happy i couldfind you. Your ass was like made for my dick huhuhu" Max said as he spread his legs wide as his pouch grew bigger. He had one more explosive growth as his shoulder broadened and his pecs filled out more. Jason shifted in his seat as his ass grew more plump and muscular.

"What do you mean?" Jason feigned innocence, turning the ditziness all the way up.

"Come here and I'll show you, slut."

[wolvietxt]

𝓕IRSTS 𝓦ITH 𝓨OU !

pairing : bucky barnes x implied fem!reader warnings : implied size diff, established relationship, tfatws!bucky, fluff,  wc : 2.6k summary : you introduce bucky to the things he’s missed out on, namely the office, theme parks, and emojis :3

bucky’s fingers hovered over the screen of his new phone, brow furrowed in concentration. you had been explaining how everything worked for the past half hour - apps, texts, even sending pictures - and while he was doing his best to keep up, you could tell he was still lost in the sea of modern technology. 

“so, this is how you send a text,” you said, pointing to the message box. “you just type what you want to say, then hit send.” you hit a few buttons on his phone and then pulled away to give him some space.

he nodded slowly, looking at the screen as if it were a puzzle he hadn’t quite solved yet. “okay. and... the emojis?” he asked after a pause, his tone unsure.

“they’re just little pictures to add to what you’re saying. makes it more fun, i guess.” you flashed him a quick smile before adding, “and, if you’re talking to me, you’re gonna use them, or else i’ll think you’re mad at me.”

bucky’s lips curved upward just a fraction at the playful challenge. “right,” he muttered, glancing back at the emojis, his expression turning serious again. “this one - ” he tapped an image of a smiley face, “ - this is good, right?”

you nodded with enthusiasm. “perfect. now try sending it to me.”

bucky hesitated for a moment before carefully typing out a message: “Hey. 🙂” 

he looked at you for approval, his blue eyes searching yours.

“well done,” you said softly, holding back a giggle. “you did it, buck.”

he grinned, a little relieved but still unsure. “guess ‘m getting the hang of this.”

“you are,” you replied, your voice filled with genuine encouragement. you could see him trying, and that was enough to make you proud.

“now,” you began, leaning in closer, “I’m going to teach you how to send a selfie. It’s easy.” you grabbed your phone and showed him how to take a picture, flipping the camera to face him. “like this.”

“a selfie?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“yeah, you’re going to love it,” you said, snapping a quick picture of him as he looked confused but willing to give it a try. “okay, now you do it. just - ” you stopped yourself, realising something. “don’t look so grumpy, though. smile a little.”

bucky rolled his eyes but played along, pulling a reluctant smirk before he tapped the button to take the picture. “this feels weird,” he muttered, but his gaze softened when he saw the result. he stared at the picture of himself for a moment, before looking at you. “it’s not bad.”

“not bad at all,” you said with a smile, grabbing your phone and sending the photo to him.

you watched him check his phone, his brow furrowing once more as he took in the photo, then back at the screen as you sent a quick text: “that smile is great, by the way.”

he read it, then quickly typed back: “you’re making fun of me.”

“no, i’m not,” you teased, tapping the keys with your fingers. “i think it’s cute.”

before he could respond, you leaned in, brushing your lips against his jaw. his body went still at the contact, the soft touch of your lips drawing his attention away from the phone. without saying a word, he kissed you fully, his lips warm and steady against yours.

“you talk too much,” bucky murmured when he finally pulled away, his voice gruff but affectionate.

you couldn’t help but giggle, looking up at him. “sorry,” you said, smiling in that way that made his chest tighten. “but i’m trying to teach you how to use a phone.”

“teach me less,” he replied, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. before you could answer, he kissed you again, this time slower, his lips lingering on yours longer than before. it was like he couldn’t help himself, needing to pull you close and forget about everything else. 

when he pulled back, there was a softness in his eyes that was so different from the gruff exterior he usually put on. “you’re a distraction,” he admitted, though he didn’t sound bothered in the least. 

“only when i’m teaching you how to text?” you asked, your smile still wide.

“always,” he said with a grin, kissing you again, this time more gently, as if savouring the moment before pulling away and reaching for his phone. 

he looked at the screen again, tapping at it thoughtfully. “okay, what about this one?” he asked, tapping a face with hearts for eyes. “it seems like... the right one.”

you grinned, unable to resist the warmth that filled you at how cute he was, trying so hard to understand all this. “perfect,” you whispered. “now, send it.”

bucky hesitated for a beat, then pressed send. he turned to look at you, like he was asking for your approval.

“you did it,” you said softly, heart swelling with affection. “now, you’re a pro.”

he raised his eyebrows. “am i allowed to text you good morning now?”

“whenever you want,” you said with a grin, your hand finding his and squeezing it gently. “and i’ll send you emojis all day.”

bucky looked at his phone again, glancing up at you with a fond smile. “then i’m gonna need to figure out a lot more emojis.”

“take your time,” you teased, before your lips met his once more, this time without interruption.

the apartment was dimly lit, the only light coming from the tv screen where the office was playing. you had insisted that bucky give the show a try, promising him that it was the perfect mix of awkward humour and heartwarming moments. at first, he had grumbled about it, saying something about not needing to watch “a bunch of idiots in an office.” but here you were, four episodes deep, and you could see that little spark of amusement in his eyes.

bucky had his arm draped around your shoulders, his large frame practically swallowing you up as you nestled into his side. you were curled up against him, legs tucked under you, head resting on his chest. every now and then, you could feel the rumble of his low chuckle vibrating against you whenever something on-screen caught him off guard.

“i still don’t get how that jim guy hasn’t been fired yet,” he muttered, shaking his head as jim played yet another prank on dwight. “guy’s got a death wish or somethin’.”

you smiled, turning your face up to look at him. there was a light in his eyes, the corners of his lips twitching upwards as he tried to hide how much he was actually enjoying the show. “maybe he reminds you of someone?” you teased, poking his side.

he shot you a look, all mock seriousness. “you callin’ me a troublemaker?” 

“if the shoe fits,” you replied with a grin, turning back to the screen.

as the episode continued, you found yourself more focused on him than the tv. you loved seeing bucky like this, relaxed, at ease, his defences down for once. there was something so endearing about the way he’d get lost in the episodes, brows furrowing when michael said something ridiculous, or the rare moments when he’d throw his head back and laugh - a real, deep laugh that you couldn’t help but adore.

during one of those moments, as pam and jim exchanged a look, you felt his chest rumble with laughter, and it was so infectious that you couldn’t help but giggle, too. he glanced down at you, catching you staring, and for a second, it was like the rest of the world disappeared.

“what?” he asked, his voice softening.

“nothing,” you said, a little shy under his gaze. “you’re just... cute when you laugh.”

his eyebrows shot up, surprise flashing across his face before it softened into a shy smile. “yeah? well, don’t go tellin’ everyone.” 

you laughed, but before you could tease him more, he suddenly shifted, tugging you closer until you were practically in his lap. your breath hitched as he wrapped both arms around you, enveloping you in his warmth. 

you fit so easily against him, his hands splaying over your waist, and you could feel the steady beat of his heart under your cheek. the show kept playing in the background, but you were completely lost in the moment, the way he held you so gently despite his strength.

“you’re missing the best part,” you whispered, but your voice was soft, almost hesitant, like you didn’t really want to break the spell.

“nah,” he murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “this is the best part.”

your cheeks warmed, and you couldn’t resist tilting your head back to steal a quick kiss. he met you halfway, his lips warm and surprisingly soft, his stubble scraping pleasantly against your skin. 

“hmm, you taste better than jim’s pranks,” he teased, a smirk tugging at his lips when he pulled away.

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. “careful, barnes, you might start liking sitcoms.”

“only if you’re watchin’ them with me,” he said, squeezing your waist gently. 

you settled back into his chest, letting the familiar sounds of dunder mifflin fill the room. with one hand idly playing with the hem of your shirt, bucky seemed content, occasionally making little comments about the show under his breath that made you giggle. 

as the theme song played for the next episode, you reached for your phone to check the time, but bucky’s hand covered yours, stopping you. “stay,” he murmured, his voice low, almost pleading. 

you glanced up at him, surprised by the hint of vulnerability in his eyes. it wasn’t often that he asked for things so openly, but when he did, it always tugged at your heart. 

“okay,” you whispered, setting your phone aside and snuggling closer, the two of you wrapped up in each other as the episodes played on, the world outside forgotten for just a little while.

the air was filled with the sounds of laughter, the occasional scream from the roller coasters, and the smell of funnel cakes and popcorn drifting through the breeze. the theme park was bustling with life, a kaleidoscope of colours and sounds that made your heart race with excitement. you could hardly contain your giddiness as you pulled bucky along by the hand, weaving through the crowd.

bucky, on the other hand, looked a little overwhelmed. his brows were furrowed as he glanced around, taking in everything like he was preparing for an ambush. it was endearing, really - the way his grip on your hand tightened every time someone bumped into you, his protective instincts kicking in.

“relax, buck, it’s just a theme park,” you teased, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

he grunted, still looking suspiciously at a guy in a giant mascot costume waving at children. “yeah, well, not sure i trust a place where people scream for fun.”

you couldn’t help but laugh, tugging him closer. “that’s the whole point! come on, let’s try a ride.”

you led him to the line for one of the tamer rides - a classic spinning teacup attraction. bucky eyed it warily, but he didn’t protest, letting you drag him into one of the pastel-coloured cups. once you were seated, you watched with a grin as he tried to figure out how the ride worked, his large hands gripping the metal wheel in the centre.

the ride started to spin, slowly at first, then picking up speed. you were laughing uncontrollably, the wind whipping through your hair, and when you glanced over at bucky, he had this look of pure concentration, like he was trying to out-spin everyone else.

“bucky, it’s not a competition!” you managed to gasp out between giggles.

he shot you a playful glare, a rare smile breaking through his usually stern expression. “everything’s a competition, doll.”

when the ride finally slowed to a stop, you were both a little dizzy, but you couldn’t stop smiling. you staggered out of the teacup, and bucky’s arm was instantly around your waist, steadying you. “you good?” he asked, his voice low and a little rough.

“never better,” you replied, leaning into his side.

next up was the game booths, where bucky’s competitive side really came out. you challenged him to one of those rigged carnival games where you had to knock down bottles with a baseball. he rolled his eyes at the way the game operator explained the rules, clearly unimpressed, but when it was his turn, he hit every target dead-on, not even breaking a sweat.

“show-off,” you teased, but you couldn’t hide the admiration in your voice.

“what can i say? i’m good with my hands,” he shot back with a wink, handing you the giant stuffed bear he won as a prize. your cheeks warmed, but before you could retort, he leaned down to steal a quick kiss, effectively shutting you up.

with your new teddy bear in tow, you wandered through the park, trying different snacks and taking in the sights. at one point, you insisted on getting a picture in one of those cheesy photo booths. bucky tried to protest, saying he wasn’t “photogenic,” but you dragged him in anyway.

the two of you squeezed into the tiny booth, your legs tangled together because of how little space there was. as the camera flashed, you made silly faces while bucky looked a little bewildered, but by the last frame, you managed to coax a smile out of him - a real one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. 

you couldn’t stop staring at the printed photos as they rolled out, your heart swelling at how happy he looked. he glanced over your shoulder, shaking his head with a chuckle. “gonna frame that, aren’t you?”

“damn right i am,” you said with a grin, tucking the strip of photos safely into your bag.

the sun was starting to set, the sky painted in hues of pink and orange, when you finally made your way to the roller coasters. bucky was skeptical at first, muttering something about not trusting “rusty death traps,” but you could see the way his eyes lit up with a mix of curiosity and adrenaline.

“just one ride,” you pleaded, giving him your best puppy eyes.

he sighed, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “fine, but if we die, i’m haunting you.”

you laughed, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the line. as the coaster climbed higher and higher, you could feel the tension in bucky’s shoulders. you reached over, lacing your fingers with his. “it’s gonna be fun, trust me.”

the drop was sudden and exhilarating, your screams mixing with the rush of wind, and when you dared to peek at bucky, he had this look of pure, wild joy on his face. it was rare to see him so carefree, and it took your breath away more than the ride itself.

when you finally stumbled off the coaster, legs like jelly, bucky was grinning like a little kid, his hair windswept. “okay, that wasn’t so bad,” he admitted, looking almost bashful.

“see? i told you,” you said, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning up to kiss his cheek. he pulled you into a proper kiss instead, right there in the middle of the bustling crowd, not caring who was watching.

“thanks for dragging me out here,” he murmured against your lips, his voice soft in a way that made your heart flutter. 

“anytime, sarge,” you teased, smiling up at him.

he just shook his head, a fond look in his eyes as he pulled you closer. “you’re trouble, you know that?”

“yeah,” you said, resting your head against his chest, “but you love it.”

he just chuckled, pressing another kiss to the top of your head, and you knew he wouldn’t trade this day for anything.

🌀 bucky barnes : @notacleangirl, @v3lv3tf0x, @dugiioh, @whxtewolf, @lemoanaid

@yvespecially

🌀 one time tags : @pvndomi

taglist form linked in pinned post :3

[ashlinxsloves]

-AARON HOTCHNER HEADCANONS-

The promised hcs for our favourite hot dilf Aaron Hotchner 🤭 I hope you guys like them, it's gonna be a little lengthy and I've divided them between Basic, SFW Dating and NSFW.. Minors please don't interact with the nsfw content.

–Basic–

Hotch would be the type of guy who listens to classical music around the team, but once he's alone in his personal car, he has a whole collection of CDs in his glove box of his favourite bands and albums (The Beatles, etc.)

He'd also listen to audiobooks during long drives home. The genre can vary between the classics or just a light novel.

A huge overpacker. He packs the essentials during cases, but if the trip is personal, he packs almost everything – sunscreen, mosquito repellent, a map, extra batteries, a flashlight, etc. You'll never know if it might come in handy

Dad instincts are strong af, will know something is wrong before it happens

Wakes up at the crack of dawn. Became a habit after working so long in the BAU

Hotch is overall a light sleeper. Mostly because of emergencies or sudden calls from the BAU

The king of overworking. Before Haley died, he used to work so much that he got nosebleeds. He does it less now and spends more time with Jack than with paperwork.

Likes his coffee black with two teaspoons of sugar. He doesn't like it too sweet but isn't bitter either.

He most probably had a secret rockstar phase in his teens. Crazy shoulder-length hair, studded belts, band tees and EYELINER. Stopped after he became a junior in high school though.

Used to blame himself for failing to save the victims during his early years in the field. He tries to remember every person he failed to save in the past and compensate by saving more while being calm and tactful.

Spends a lot of time with Jack during the weekends. He's trying to make up for lost time after being so busy with his job than being a father. They would go on road trips, and theme parks and would do a whole lot just to see his son smile.

Hotch would unironically start drinking apple or pineapple juice after Jack just asked him to. Just for no reason at all.

He gets horrible migraines because of staying up late and not getting enough rest.

-SFW Dating-

When the two of you just started dating, he wasn't 100% sure of it because 1. your age gap (reader would be in her mid-20s) and 2. The fraternization rule in the Bureau.

The both of you kept the whole thing a secret for about four months until the team figured it out on a random Tuesday.

"I- I mean it was pretty obvious from how Hotch was hovering over you all the time and the ways his stoic face softens when he addresses you. Not to forget the way his pupils dilate-" "That's enough Reid."

When you were gonna meet Jack for the first time, you were quite nervous about it, but Aaron reassured you that he'd love you (and the little dude did).

Hotch would try to take you on dates, but it was kind of hard with your hectic schedules.

So it would usually be movie nights at his place along with some takeout dinner after putting Jack to bed.

It took Hotch a while to open up to you, but you were there to support him and he was worth the wait.

Picks you up for work and drives you home even if you told him that it was okay and you had your own car, he insisted on driving you home and seeing you get there safely.

Brings you coffee and something sweet from the cafe. It's his way of telling you he cares about you without the team teasing you after he goes into his office.

He would start to think irrationally after finding out you got hurt during a case. He wouldn't be able to think straight on the way to the hospital and blurted a mumbled 'I love you' while putting pressure onto your wound.

When you sleep over at his place, he loves seeing you wear his old college T-shirts.

Hotch thinks about Haley a lot and feels guilty for it, but you understand that she was his first love and he peppers you with soft kisses to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart... I know I shouldn't be thinking about what could have been and focus on what is.. I'll do better, I promise.."

Calls you to his office sternly as if you were in trouble but in reality, he just wants you for himself in the office for a little while.

His heart clenched yet light when Jack asked him if you were going to be his new mommy.

Pet names would be rare when it comes to him. What really matters is when he calls you by your name. But the occasional 'Sweetheart' and 'Darling' might slip out.

He shows you his unserious side. It was a whole 180 for you and it made you fall for him even more. He's an adorable dork.

Even if the two of you are dating, there's a fine line between being together behind closed doors and pure professionalism. Hotch is still your superior and there wouldn't be any special treatment even if you were his significant other.

But when he realizes he gets too rough with you he will apologize in private after the case.

His love language is quality time, so he tries to be around you and Jack as much as he can.

Cheesy pickup lines to try and make you laugh during a hard day. Only in private though.

Knows what to do when you're on your period. He'll bring a heating pad, warm fuzzy blankets, your favourite snacks and painkillers.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT MINORS DNI!!!

-NSFW Dating-

• The sex is incredible. Hotch knows all the right places to hit and how to give you a godly amount of orgasms.

• He starts out slow, letting you get used to the stretch and how much he's filling you up. You can practically feel his cock in your throat from how full you feel.

• Gentle feather-like kisses on your forehead, telling you how good you feel around him while starting to move his hips at a quicker pace.

• From slow, gentle thrusts, it changes into something more primal and rough. As if he were lashing out all his frustrations from work into your tight, little pussy, trying to fuck you into next week.

• And he does it well. He fucks you senseless until you're coming on his cock multiple times before he finishes and spills his cum into the condom he's wearing.

• He just loves fucking you in the missionary position, because he sees how your face contorts in pleasure.

• The first time the two of you slept together was at your place after a really stressful case and the two of you had a drink too many.

• Obviously, Hotch was still a bit sober but you were out of it. He wouldn't do anything without your consent, but you had dragged him into your bedroom and things got heated.

• Bruised your cervix one too many times. The two of you rarely have any sex but if you do, you go all out. He apologises with an amazing bath and breakfast in bed.

• Amazing aftercare. He'll take care of you after the both of you are done, even if he's tired. He'd always clean you up, get you a glass of water and press soft kisses on your shoulders. Cuddling and whispered confessions under messy sheets.

• Not a big fan of having sex in public spaces. He needs privacy when he's trying to fuck and pleasure you.

• But he does know about the dirty fantasies you have about getting fucked on his desk. He's seen the books read and articles you look up. Not like you could've hidden it from him anyway.

• He fulfills those fantasies to the best of his capabilities when no one's left in the office and it's just the two of you. He looks through the last of his files, calls you to his office and closes the door.

• His tie was loose, sleeves rolled up, revealing his forearms. His hair was slightly dishevelled as if he ran his fingers through them multiple times.

• Hotch makes you suck his cock until you're gagging, being a little rougher on you. Then he got you splayed on his desk, pushing your pencil skirt up and ripping your stockings by the crotch area.

• When he noticed how wet you got, he smirked, moving the gussets of your panties to the side. He then flicked your sensitive clit, making you whimper as slick gushed out your weeping hole.

• “You like this, don't you, sweetheart? Lying on my desk, messing up my paperwork with your slutty pussy?”

• He's not the type to degrade you, but if you really wanted to he would. But he wouldn't go too far with the insults.

• He's a switch. Since he's usually dominant in most of his everyday life, Hotch lets you take over once in a while.

• Loves going down on you. He likes loosening your tight hole with his mouth and savours the taste of your essence on his tongue.

• Hotch goes weak when you go down on him even if he doesn't ask you to. Praises and soft grunts.

• Isn't the type to be loud. Mostly pants and let's out soft groans when your pussy convulses around his shaft.

• Loves hearing you whine his name and complain how deep he is.

• Once he saw you looking at a site involving different positions, but the one that piqued his interest the most was the mating press.

• Was curious and wanted to try it with you. Hotch was too riled up to put on a condom that night and filled you up to the brim, having you pressed into the mattress, your calves over his shoulders as he buried himself deeper, hitting so many new places that it made you see white.

That's all for now, I hope you liked it 🤭🤭🤭

[soleilapproves]

Boxer!Sukuna loves to show off his moves to his crush aka his best friend (feat. Boxer!Toji)

Notes: sukuna is a jealous little hoe, Toji finds reader attractive, Pre-relationship, fem!reader (she/her), depictions of fighting so read at your own discretion. Uraume is a nonchalant baddie. Not proofread, I’m sorry for torturing you all.

Thump!

A gloved fist lands against Sukuna’s tattooed cheek as he stumbles back into the boxing ring’s roped borders.

He quickly flicks off the sweat dripping down from his nose to his upper lips and gets back into fighting stance. His opponent / friend, Toji Fushiguro, smirks at him as he bounces in his spot, bracing for what’s to come.

“You’re boring me here, Ryomen!” The raven haired man barked from the opposite end of the ring. “Quit fightin’ like a pissy little boy and hit me like a man!” He further taunted his opponent.

Sukuna leaped from his spot and swung his arm only for Toji to dodge him with a duck and attack his legs.

“Fuck!” Sukuna yelled out as he fell down. His body bounced against the ground, force acting against him.

“Time out!” Coach Yaga yelled out. Toji removed his gloves and took off his helmet, lending out a helping hand to Sukuna.

Sukuna stared at Toji’s calloused hands and back at him. His glare deepened with every heavy breath he took.

He could not stop thinking about the conversation he had with Toji in the gym locker room a few days ago.

“She your girl?” Toji asked as he applied another heat patch to his sore shoulder.

“Who?” Sukuna asked while he packed his gym bag.

“The girl you came in with today. You know, the one who wouldn’t stop talking.” Toji chuckled as he said that. Sukuna’s eyes momentarily flickered away from Toji has he remembered how you were going off on a tangent about your favorite show.

“Nah, why do you wanna know?”

“I wanna take her out.” Sukuna’s hand froze after hearing Toji’s answer.

It never occurred to Sukuna that other men wanted to talk to you. He always thought that he was the only man in your life even if there wasn’t anything romantic between you two.

But then again, Sukuna had made it his mission to drive away any man that even showed a shred of romantic attention towards you. It was easy for him since he was a well known boxer that could probably smash concrete with one punch if he tried.

It was his favorite thing about being so strong.

However, it wasn’t going to work in this case. Not when his opponent was on par with him.

“You don’t get it, man. She’s not that kinda girl. She’s the relationship type and you hate all that commitment stuff.”

“I wouldn’t ask to date your friend if I wanted to leave her high and dry. I’m ready to do all that redemption shit now. I wanna get serious.”

Sukuna’s blood boiled at the thought of Toji even looking in your direction. What made him think that you would even say yes? You had hardly ever said three sentences to the man (the sentences being “hi, Toji,” “bye, Toji,” and “where’s sukuna?”)

But he also knew what Toji was like in the ring. A relentless fighter that was always ready to improve where he lacked. And he also knew what you were like.

All he could do was hope that you’d reject Toji.

“Do whatever you want. Fuck do I care about?” Sukuna shoved in his shower gel in his bag and stomped out of the room.

He pushed Toji’s hand away and walked out the ring to hydrate himself. Toji mumbled a quick “asshole” before heading out towards his water bottle right outside the fight room.

“You were exceptionally bad today. I believe there must be something emotionally affecting you.” His manager (more like henchman), Uraume said as they handed him a bottle of sugar free Gatorade.

“Fuck off.” Sukuna tiredly said as his leaned back into the leather couch facing the ring. The spotlights above him burned his retinas but his mind kept him distracted with thoughts about you.

The way you laughed at his banter with Uraume, the way you’d comfort him after lost matches, the way you’d stare at him with your arms crossed when he’d forget to text you.

Like you were doing now.

“Some nerve of you to leave me on read last night.” You huffed out in anger. Sukuna immediately sat up, rubbing his eyes. You were definitely real and standing in front of him.

You looked positively adorable with a pout on your face and your foot tapping angrily on the ground. If Sukuna didn’t have any self control, his lips would’ve been planted on yours right now.

“You said you’d bring me to the gym to watch your practice match and then forgot to tell me when your match was!”

You were lucky to have Uraume’s number and contacted them to get to the gym yourself.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up-“

“Hey, nice to see you.” Toji sauntered around you, interrupting Sukuna. “This creep giving you any trouble?” Toji sneered with his hands on his hips.

“Yes, in fact, he promised that I could watch today’s match but didn’t even bother picking me up.” You complained to Toji, who was towering above you.

Sukuna could practically see Toji’s blood rush to his ears. The man was smitten and it irritated him to see that.

“Toji, get the fuck out of here. We’re having a private conversation.”

“She literally aired your dirty laundry in front of me, man. There was no privacy to begin with.” You let out a small laugh at Toji’s response and he proudly beamed in your direction.

Sukuna was going to further defend himself, stating that it was a conversation between best friends but Coach Yaga was quick to swoop in with smacks to both the boxers’ heads to resume their match.

The men went towards the ring, ducking under the ropes as they entered. Sukuna needed your eyes on him no matter what. So he did what he thought was best- take his compression tank off.

His chest gleamed with sweat as he threw the piece of clothing out the ring. The tank accidentally landed on Uraume’s face and their body began to shudder in anger. You grimaced at the sight as you used your pointer finger and thumb to pluck off the sweaty garment from their head.

Sukuna’s face turned red out of embarrassment

“Sorry, dude.” Great, he was supposed to look sexy but he ended up making a fool of himself.

“You know what? keep fighting like a little kid. I wanna make sure I win in front of the pretty lady before I ask her out.” Toji whispered in Sukuna’s ear before he wore his mouth guard.

The tattooed man was seething. There were so many emotions affecting him at the same time- anger, jealousy, sadness, and insecurity.

But then all of that was erased when he saw you intently looking at him while you stood next to an irritated Uraume. Not to mention, you were still holding his sweaty compression tank like it wasn’t something that would disgust any other person.

Sukuna wasn’t feeling as defeated as anymore. In fact, there was a new surge of energy in him when he saw you standing outside the ring with hopeful eyes.

He had an advantage over Toji because right now, the one you were rooting for was him. Not his green eyed opponent.

You were here to see him win. You were here to see your man- okay, best friend who’s a man, win.

And he wasn’t going to disappoint you.

Coach Yaga blew his whistle and both men began walking in circles, eyes staring into one another’s to predict their opponent’s next move.

Sukuna remembered to always wait for the opponent to make the first blow so he could dodge them. This way, he’d be able to expend their energy and use their one second of being distracted to his advantage.

Toji did exactly as he predicted and he countered his punch with a hit to his chin. You gasped and Sukuna could see you smile in his peripheral view (maybe he was imagining it but whatever. To him, you were smiling while he punched Toji).

Toji growled as his body moved backwards but he got back into position quickly and charged at Sukuna with a punch but Sukuna crossed his arms to dodge the blow. He wanted to hit but needed an in somehow. He began to think long and hard as he dodged Toji’s incoming punches.

His eyes momentarily landed on you and he couldn’t help but think about Toji kissing you after your date, his non-tattooed, muscular arms wrapped around your waist. Your breasts pushed against his chest as you gasped for air.

He imagined Toji taking you home, sleeping in the same bed as you. Patting your head as you fall asleep.

Sukuna could not let that happen. As selfish as he was, he could not let his sparring mate take away the one thing that mattered most in his life- you.

He landed punch after punch to Toji’s ribs and you excitedly clapped at the sight. The sound of your hands only further fueled Sukuna’s fury as he continued to batter Toji.

The fight went on for a quite a while, neither fighter giving in to losing. But by now, Toji had been punched the most and was beginning to lose his balance.

Coach Yaga’s shrill whistle squeaked and the match stopped before Toji could be rendered immobile. You wanted to feel bad for the man when you saw all the bruises on his face and body but you could help but smile when you looked at Sukuna. He wasn’t smiling but the look on his face showed he was satisfied.

Sukuna turned to find you smiling and he mirrored your expression.

Yeah, there was no way he was going to let you go. He was going to win every fight against Toji whether if it was in ring or for your heart.

-•-

I’m just adding lore to Sukuna and Toji’s rivalry in both boxing and pursuing the reader.

[phantomspiderr]

memories ~ evan ‘buck’ buckley x reader

you've secretly kept every important thing from your relationship with Buck; from your first picture to an 'i love you' note scribbled on the back of a receipt and when you make the move into Buck's apartment he finds the box of memories—or just remember how buck's parents gave maddie a baby box right in front of him then dropped the bomb that they never bothered to make him one, so when you've put in all this effort to keep every small memory of your relationship buck realises just how much he loves you

w/c ~ 1k+

no warnings just a lotta fluff🥰

“Okay, this is the last box!” You cheer as you walk through the door to Buck’s apartment—which you guess is also now your apartment. You place the box down on the small pile by the door and approach your sweet boyfriend who has already started helping you unpack. Buck’s sitting at the kitchen island, an array of things spread out on the surface before him, and your curiosity sinks in. Your arms circle around his soft middle and you have to go up on your tiptoes to rest your chin on his shoulder, “whatcha doing?” You say just as your eyes fall down to see a familiar box and all its contents spilling out, a little embarrassment makes its way to the surface. You pull away from Buck and move to the side, as you reach to collect the miscellaneous pieces of paper and photos scattered around Buck’s hand stops you.

“You kept all this?” Your eyes reach Buck’s slightly glossy ones and you’re confused by his reaction. You were convinced he’d find it weird that you kept all these things from the duration of your relationship; movie theatre stubs, a concert ticket or two, the first picture you took together, a Polaroid of him from the first morning you woke up in his apartment, so many memories you couldn’t bare to part with so you collected them in an old shoe box.

“Yeah… you think it’s weird don’t you?” Your gaze falls to the ground, mentally preparing yourself for Buck to make fun of you for doing such a thing, like so many people before have but the ridicule never comes. Instead, you’re taken aback when Buck wraps his arms around you, squeezing so tightly that all the air is pushed out of your lungs. “Thank you,” his muffled words snap you out of your embarrassed state. Your hands move up to hold him, fingers sinking into his hair immediately. His head raises and you can see his teary eyes, “you don’t know how much this means to me. I love you so much.” You’re still a little confused at his reaction but your heart melts at his words. “I love you too,” you hold the sides of his face now before bending down to press your lips to his. The fear of judgement melts away with just a simple kiss.

“Can you show me everything?” Who are you to deny him when he looks at you with those sweet puppy dog eyes. He turns back to the kitchen island the second you agree and you pull out the stool next to his. A smile immediately appears when you spot one of your favourite things, “Oh, this!” You reach over Buck’s hands and grab a small book from the box, he looks at you curiously as you open it, “I learned how to press flowers just so I could keep the first bouquet you gave me.” Your sentence grows quieter as you feel Buck’s eyes on you, watching as you open the book to see beautiful pressed flowers between sheets of paper, “but then you kept giving me flowers so I made this book.” You nervously hand the book over and Buck smiles as he looks through the pages delicately. Each page is dated and the type of flower is written in cursive next to it. Buck takes his time looking at each page and your eyes drift from his joyful expression to the other bits and pieces. You smile to yourself when you see your half of a photo booth strip; it’s from your second date, the date scribbled on the back, you both only had enough change for one set of pictures. So, Buck tore the strip in half, slipping his half into his wallet and sheepishly giving you the other half. You’re so caught up in the memory you don’t notice Buck pulling out his wallet, he holds his half of the strip above yours, reconnecting the two for a moment. You see the second an idea pops into Buck’s head and then you watch as he takes both halves of the strip over to the fridge. He turns back to you grinning lovingly and your heart melts when you see he’s put the halves together on the fridge surrounded by pictures of his favourite people.

Buck comes back to join you, kissing the side of your head before sitting down. He quickly goes back to looking through the box. He pulls out a movie theatre ticket that’s attached to an adorable selfie of you both; you smile brightly at the camera while a slightly blurred Buck kisses your cheek. You reminisce about that day that Buck happily agreed to go see the Barbie movie with you and you swear you fell in love with him more that day when he picked you up dressed in a pink shirt with an old cowboy hat from his rancher days atop his head. “We should watch it again tonight,” Buck says gleefully, extending his hand to hold yours before bringing it up to his lips, “we can order takeout.” He places another kiss on your knuckles, “We can get all cosy,” another kiss, “and then I can take you to our bed. Make your first official night here special.” Your body instantly heats up, a slight shyness appearing through the cracks. Even after so much time together Buck still seems to be able to reduce you to a fumbling mess with just a few words and simple touches. “I should start unpacking.” You giggle as Buck’s hand slips up your neck and he grins at your poor excuse, “We can unpack tomorrow.” He lowers his head slowly, both your smiles growing until your lips meet. “Okay but we’re getting food from the Korean barbecue place down the street,” you mumble out against his lips. Buck laughs, pulling away only a fraction before giving you another quick kiss, “Done. Anything you want.” You pull your head back slightly, tilting it to the side as your eyebrows lift, “anything?” Buck’s hands have drifted down to your hips, absentmindedly pulling them closer to the edge of the stool. “Absolutely anything.” He leans in to give you another kiss and when he pulls back this time he sees your teeth sink into your bottom lip and he knows he’s got you thinking now. “Well,” you draw out the word, “it takes them like 20 minutes to deliver…” A wolfish grin makes its way to his face and he lowers his head to press his lips to your cheek before reaching your neck, “That seems like a challenge.” You giggle again when he nips at your skin, “You have to order the food first, Buck.” His groan vibrates against your neck, “I’m just getting a head start.” You squeal when he jolts your hips off of the stool completely. Your arms and legs immediately tighten around his strong frame as his lips lock onto yours again.

Your first official night living together was definitely going to be something special, Buck would make sure of that.

[foollime-00]

BALLOONSMP VOD LIST (WIP)

being just. vaguely involved in mcyt stuff for a while, i get nervous about perspectives and entire smps become lost media of sorts. I wanted to put together a list of where you can find each balloon smp vod from as many people as possible so that if you want to see something specific, you can! LMK if anything is wrong or if you find vods i was unable to and I'll try and update the list

The list is below the cut and is sorted by team and include links to where i found vods. dates mentioned are in the DAY/MONTH format, so 21/10 is October 21st, for instance.

A few people have their streams saved in twitch's "all videos" tab but i have no idea if this is as permanent as a vod channel on youtube. Playerlist pulled from the balloon smp site. last updated 12/11

TEAM A

SOCKS: Sock's VOD channel is, in my experience, pretty comprehensive, if a little slow (to be fair, Socks seems like a pretty busy guy and im pretty sure they run the vod channel). as of 11/11 it has no blsmp vods uploaded to it. The Socks Box

SKULLVOLVER: Skullvolver's vod channel (provided by shadowfan2002) has vods up to 9/11 as od 12/11. Presumably will be up to date before long. SkullVODver

BUGGLE: Buggle's vod channel (provided by shadowfan2002) has vods up to 26/10 as of 12/11. Will presumably be up to date before long. Buggleboos VODs

SOMADAGOAT: Soma's Twitch "all videos" tab seems to be comprehensive (as of 11/11), no vod channel linked. Soma's Twitch

NORMIE MCGEE: as of 11/11 Normie's Twitch only dates back to the blsmp 28/10 stream. Their twitter posts make it unclear if they streamed anything from before this date but the vod titles imply they did. No vod channels linked. Normie's Twitch

WOOPS: Woops has a "collection" on twitch of their blsmp vods. how permanent they are time wil tell. Their fanrun vod channel (provided by shadowfan2002) is complete and has the vods in a playlist. Woop's Twitch The unofficial playlist

TEAM B

BREAKBEATBUN: Val's vod channel seems to exclusively be blsmp vods. as of 11/11 it has vods up to day 28, it's probably safe to assume it will be complete shortly. Breakbeatbun's vod channel

JAME7T: Jame's vod channel has blsmp vods up to 31/10 as of 11/11. it's safe to assume in a few weeks it will be complete. Jame7V(ods)

KATYDIIDS: Katy's vod channel does not have any blsmp vods on it as of 11/11. Her Twitch "all videos tab has them all, presumably they will be added to the youtube over time. Katy's Twitch

ELLIE SPECTACULAR: None of Ellie's youtube channels seem to be for vods. the Twitch "all videos" tab seems to have everything as of 11/11. Ellie's Twitch

COZYBOI: Unsure if Cozyboi streamed any of their blsmp perspective, their twitch seems to only be persona 5 and their vod channel appears to not be up to date.

TEAM C

PADABANA: Padabana's vod channel (provided by shadowfan2002) has vods up to 9/11. Will presumably be up to date in the near future. padaVODa

AUSK: Ausk's youtube has vods up to 9/11 as of 11/11, it is entirely possible by the time i finish typing this, it will be up to date. Ausk's Youtube

YOCOW: Yoda's vod youtube has recordings up to 30/10 as of 11/11. Will probably be complete in the near future. Yocow's vod channel

ARCH: it appears Arch either did not stream, or wiped all streams the moment they ended. No vod channel linked.

SOPHIESTEAK: Sophie's streams are saved to her "all videos" tab on twitch. No vod channels linked. Sophie's Twitch

GUTSTOSIS: Moth's vod channel is already complete up to the final day. GutstoVODS

TEAM D

BEEPERS: Beepers' youtubes appear to not be vod channels. Their "all videos" tab on twitch is complete as of 11/11. Beepers' Twitch

SWINDY: Swindy's "all videos" on twitch has a vod for day 1 and that's it as of 11/11. its recorded as a highlight too i think but its 5 hours long It is also marked as an art stream. I don't know anything about Swindy so it entirely possible they just didn't stream much. No vod channel linked. Swindy's Twitch

TELOSIE: Telosie's Twitch "all videos" channel has vods between 17/10 and 26/10 as of 11/11. unsure if they streamed outside of this range at all, but they appeared to consistently be active on the server. Telosie's Twitch

MANKEY: Mankey's twitch appears to have no vods at all. if they ever streamed blsmp, or were just on it is unclear. No vod channels linked.

KAOIJI: Kaoiji has said on twitter they have intentionally hidden their blsmp vods because they believe "it's more beautiful that way to have my character only in view in other people's perspective". They do have a vod channel but even outside of blsmp it seems to be out of date.

HEAVENLYFATHER: Unclear if Heavenlyfather ever streamed their blsmp perspective. October and early november do contain vods from other, not blsmp related things. Their youtube does not appear to be a vod channel.

TEAM E

BAILEYFEESH: Bailey's youtube appears to have been exploded at some point in the past, all links to it that I could find lead to a 404. No blsmp vods on their twitch.

HOLLOWTONES: Hollowtones' vod channel is up to date, she just wasn't live on the server super frequently the "minecraft fishing" stream is on the server but appears to be a mostly solo affair. Hollowtonesvods

SOPHIEBABEY: Sophie's vod channel has a blsmp video titled as "finale" that was uploaded on 4/11. her twitch confers that this is indeed the most recent livestream from blsmp. SophieBabey VODS

MYSILLYCOMICS: uncear if mysillycomics was ever live on blsmp but they were ON blsmp. Twitch has no traces of streams and no vod channel linked.

MILK APE: Twitch has vods through from 28/10 to the final day as of 11/11. NO vod channel linked. If they streamed earlier than this, I am unable to find it. Milk Ape's Twitch

RUSTY: as of 11/11, rusty has a vod on twitch of blsmp from 5/11. their twitter indicates they were live on 21/10 at least as well. No vod channel linked. Rusty's Twitch

TEAM F

ROBBYDUDE: Robby's twitch "all videos" tab has a complete list of their blsmp streams as of 11/11. Their vod channel does not have any yet. Robby's Twitch

KUUEATER: Kuueater's vod channel has a complete record of their blsmp vods. Kuueater's vod channel

PAPERBOXHOUSE: Alfred's Twitch "all videos" tab has six streams from blsmp. presumably, this is all of them most recent is 24/10. No vod channel linked. Alfred's Twitch

RENOBEE: Most recent vod on RenoBee's vod channel is from 21/10. Presumably will be up to date in the near future. RenoBeeVODs

DYVONE: Dyvone's vod channel is a few month behind by the looks of it, and currently has no blsmp vods on it. the "all videos" tab on twitch has vods from 15/10 onwards as of 11/11. Dyvone's Twitch

CHARLLAHAN: Char has sorted all of their vods into a playlist on their channel (provided to me by charaznablescanontoyota). Char's Youtube

WILDCARDS

BOON: Boon only streamed blsmp once because they died day one. This event is recorded on their twitch in the "all videos" tab. I have been unable to find a vod channel. Boon's Twitch

BERD: i've heard berd never actually streamed the smp and nobody ever saw them on it either? if they were even on they've left no trace.

again, if you are able to locate missing vods PLEASE SAY ESPECIALLY for teams D and E as theres a lot of missing perspectives in there. Thankies, and happy watching!

[sirhamburrger]

how haikyuu captains would react to... sharing a pocky stick with you only for you to bite your end off before you can kiss

characters: daichi sawamura, tetsuro kuroo, tooru oikawa, wakatoshi ushijima, kotaro bokuto, shinsuke kita

content warnings: none! just pure fluff <3 this is for 11/11 pocky day - a little late but it has to still be nov 11 somewhere in the world... right...

daichi sawamura .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

rolls his eyes because you always pull this type of stuff on him

it’s been a long and tiring day, though, and he’s just happy to see you, so he lets it slide just this once

but he still makes sure you guys do it properly when he next gets the chance

you guys end up getting through a whole box before he gently reminds you it's 2a.m. and you won't be able to fall asleep on a sugar high

tetsuro kuroo .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

tries to play it cool but he’s actually devastated

how could you betray him like this?? he can and will sob over it for weeks 

you live for his wet cat + down-bad loserboy energy, but take pity on him eventually and give him lots of kisses

he forgives you in the end because he just can’t stay mad at you

tooru oikawa .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

is a melodramatic diva. is not afraid to get all pouty about it in front of the thousand-plus people watching you two on his instagram live

will actually sulk in the corner of the room until you say sorry, then he's all smiles again

the chat overflows about how good of an actor he is as you kiss him on the nose and wipe his tears away

they were real tears. (he is that good of an actor)

wakatoshi ushijima .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

the second you put one end in his mouth he bites down

then you try to do it by putting it in your own mouth first and getting him to put the other end in his mouth

but he doesn't get it then either so you just stand there in front of him with a strawberry pocky sticking out of your mouth

he feels so bad when you explain it to him, and you can't contain your smile when your lips finally meet his

kotaro bokuto .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

he knows immediately!! chomps down on that pocky like his life depends on it just so he can kiss you!!

he loves the matcha ones so you go through a whole box of those, and some chocolate as well

you’re a little surprised because he isn’t nearly as chronically online as you are

“how did you know about this?” “oh i used to do it back in high school with kuroo” “you WHAT”

shinsuke kita .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“oh.” then he goes back to his book. you are genuinely flabbergasted for a second

you kinda just sulk there for a little while because you were expecting some sort of reaction from him

but then out of the corner of his eye you see him putting a matcha pocky in his mouth while he approaches you

you smile at how sweet he’s being, but then he bites off his end

let this man be a little silly and goofy!

haikyuu masterlist || general masterlist

© sirhamburrger 2024

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[ghostblade-official]

“In that case… I’ve seen people with these little flat box things. Rectanglular. They type on them. What are those? Also I saw people with these watches but they… had some sort of screen? What are those?”

Hey, Kiddo! *Daniel appears, having not been heard walking up to him* I got your room set up!

- @daniel-barnes-the-ghost

“Oh, okay. Uhm… where?” He tilted his head.

[tenisperfection]

Detritus

post 8x06, post-Bucktommy break-up, NOT a fix-it, more a retrospection. Buck POV.

As soon as Buck sees the box, he makes up his mind. He is not going to give up the drawer.

He can't give it up, because it's only three days and ten hours after Tommy left and a sheepish Eddie is already here with a box, and Buck immediately slams the door shut in his face. This is not right, and that is not Tommy, and Eddie is Eddie and Eddie can and will stand out there till Buck's breathing slows down enough to let him in.

Because Buck had thought, for a foolishly hopeful second, that it was the knock he'd been waiting for. Instead, it's a box. A box that only took three days and ten hours, because it's that easy to pack things up for Tommy.

"Sorry, man," Eddie shrugs, seven minutes later. "Here."

For being the receipt of the past six months of Buck's life, the box contains surprisingly few things. Two sweatshirts, five pairs of underwear, three shirts, a copy of Artemis that Buck never got around to making a dent in, two tubes of chapstick, a small container of his medications, a nearly-empty bottle of his moisturizer, his second pair of sunglasses, and a single red toothbrush.

At the very bottom, there's a single key.

"Who the fuck returns a toothbrush," Buck murmurs. He wonders if he's the odd one out, if it's normal for exes who suddenly break your heart to give you back the seven dollar toothbrush that's due to be thrown out anyway. He then laughs, because he hadn't even outlived the fucking plastic toothbrush.

Buck says nothing. He upturns the contents of the box on to his couch, races around and fills it back up with the easiest traces of Tommy he can find in his vicinity. He dimly hears Eddie start the dishwasher as he's upstairs, throwing every stupid and warm hoodie Tommy left behind like little cruel reminders for Buck to find, to touch.

He doesn't open the drawer.

"Here," he places the box on the counter. Eddie's leaning against the fridge, beer in hand. He hasn't left one out for Buck, most likely because of the empty bottles near the sink. Buck rolls his eyes anyway.

"Is that it?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah," Buck lies. Tommy won't come back, Buck knows, not for a drawer with almost nothing in it. But Buck can pretend for a while. Buck can wake up, count the hours, go to work, count the hours, go through the motions and count the hours, come back to the loft and pick up Jee and bake with her and drop her back at Maddie's and Chim's. He can sit in his balcony till it becomes too much. He can go to Eddie's and fall asleep there because there's nothing in his house that doesn't speak to him in Tommy's voice. He can count the hours and not really sleep before it's time to wake up, and then he can race to his apartment, just in case, just if there's something he has to go home to.

Just in case.

It's seven days and seventeen hours later. The knock doesn't come.

Buck types thirty seven texts he doesn't send.

It's nine days and five hours later when Buck's in the engine and they're driving to a fire.

There hasn't been a knock or a call or a text. Not even another box sent through Eddie, because all Buck was in the end was one medium sized box of junk that Tommy still did a thorough job of filling. His house, cozier and warmer than Buck's loft had ever been, is probably free of every trace of Buck ever having existed there, like Tommy had flown them back from the sinking cruise ship and gripped Buck's elbow and smiled and then walked out of his life.

Buck deletes his number. He stares out the window till his eyes burn.

It's day fifteen when Buck throws his copy of Artemis into the drawer. He doesn't look inside.

Buck makes Eddie send him Tommy's number on day eighteen.

Your sketchbook is with me. I'm not giving it back.

Buck doesn't send it. He can't send it.

Why did you return the toothbrush

Are you really serious? We're not even going to talk? Ever?

Is this really it?

Day thirty five. Buck finds a stray purple sock with a hole in its toe that's wedged under the couch cushions. He throws it into the drawer too.

Buck deletes all the photos on his phone from the past six months on day forty three. He makes Maddie and Eddie send him all the pictures from her wedding. He knows they won't send him anything with him in it.

I watched that Guadagnino movie you wanted to see. I hated it.

I really wish I could hate you.

Fuck. I really wish I could forget.

Did you forget?

Day fifty nine. The drawer doesn't quite slide shut now, because it's been nearly too months and Buck is still finding traces of Tommy here in the loft.

This is how it's going to be. I'm going to be finding you here till the day I move out.

Why did you call me Buck

I'm never moving out

It's day ninety when Buck makes the drive after work.

The garage is open and Buck ducks inside, places the box on the stoop.

Buck is almost back home when his phone buzzes.

Thanks for my stuff.

Buck responds a second later. I kept your sketchbook.

He doesn't send I liked watching you draw. I liked seeing you do things. I liked your hands so much, the way you held things. I liked having you here. I liked the way you held my face. I am scared I'll keep finding you here. I'm scared I won't. I'm scared that one day I'll forget what you look like, what your smile feels like when it's against my mouth. I'm terrified that I'll never forget and I'll see you in everyone.

You can keep it, Tommy sends.

Buck doesn't ask Is there someone else? Do you even remember the time we stayed in bed all day and ate seven waffles and white chocolate chips straight from the bag? Did you find more of me in your beautiful house? Did you ever fix your blender? Or are you the kind to just buy a new one every time something breaks?

He doesn't send Why did I not know this about you?

Buck sends back a thumbs up. He watches as the message notification turns to Read.

When Buck goes to bed that night, he opens the drawer and grabs the book. He'd read fifty three pages of Artemis then. Now, Buck goes back to the beginning.

[oozebrain]

Laughter in the Dark

Chapter summary: You and Arthur come up with a scheme and it involves having dinner at his house.

Chapter warnings: angst, child abuse, verbal abuse, abusive parent (mother). Things start to get darker this chapter but there will be wholesome moments to come later. Minors dni.

Chapter 2

Arthur and his mom had been living across the way for a few weeks now, and while you rarely saw him in person, you had been chattering for hours every day at bedtime. In your room was a whiteboard, stained with streaks of color from countless uses. It was an amusing game between the two of you; you would write your statement and he would act out his response through gestures. It was a fun game of charades that had bonded you two quite close over the past weeks. You’d learned over time he liked insects, theater. taxidermy, painting, puzzles, and that he preferred to be called Art.

Something that Art was the most curious about was school. He was home schooled by his mother and it appeared he was taught very different subjects. In the brief times you saw him in person, he would enthusiastically listen as you talked about your day at school, always wanting to know more and more. He wanted to know everything, he’d even rummaged around inside your book bag. You allowed him to keep one of your Biology textbooks; he was so enamored with he’d asked to keep it, and naturally you obliged.

Today was a special day, a day you two had been planning for a week now. Your mother was gone out of town over the weekend to visit with a friend. She’d left you with twenty dollars, a list of numbers to call, and a pasta salad in the fridge. She wasn’t around, which meant she couldn’t tell you who you could hang out with or where you could be. It was the perfect day for it.

On cue, Art waved at you from his window and you reciprocated with an enthusiastic wave back. He eyed you carefully, miming a calendar in the air and pointing at the imaginary date. You nodded in understanding. Today was the day.

Once Art departs you turn as well and leave your room, scampering to the kitchen to collect the bowl of noodles. It’s from a box, full of preservatives, loaded with sodium, and absolutely delicious. It was sure to be a hit.

You exit the house and head across the lawn. You do not head up the stairs but instead wait on the sidewalk in front of the house. After a moment, Art emerges. His smile is broad and wide, showing off his teeth as he greets you from the door. His eyes light up and he quickly heads down the stairs to close the distance.

“Wow you seem taller, I’m jealous. Move over a little and block out the sun for me.” You smile up at him and he voicelessly giggles, suspending his arms in the air and hovering over you, shading you like a tree. He then lowers his arms and motions to the glass bowl in your hands.

“It’s ranch and bacon rotini salad.” You answer and he pats his stomach in response. He approves. You can tell he’s nervous; his hands are trembling. He is doing his best to still them and tucks them inside his pockets to hide his nervousness. You give him a small pat on his arm, reassuring him things would be okay.

He isn’t wearing his hat today and you see the various patterns in the side of his head. His hair is buzzed short but the bald patches are still pronounced, along with the lack of eyebrows. It was uncommon to see him without some type of covering to hide his alopecia, and it made you feel trusted he was starting to become more comfortable with you.

“You think she’ll actually let me in this time?” You ask him with raised eyebrows as the pair of you headed towards the house. He hesitated, his face uncertain before he shrugged and thudded his chest with his fist, indicating he would handle it.

His mother was already waiting behind the screen door, her arms folded before she opened it halfway. She stared down at you, her expression difficult to read. She looked almost startled to see you standing on the porch with her son. Perhaps she thought she’d gotten rid of you.

“Hi, um... Art invited me over for dinner, I brought some pasta salad.” You hold the bowl out to her. She accepts it with hesitation and sets it off on a side table. She wipes her hands on her apron before resting them in front of her. Her demeanor was forced and stiff as she spoke.

“I don’t think tonight is the best night for it. Arthur has a lot of chores he needs to catch up on.” 

Art frantically pointed at her, shaking his head ‘no’, eyebrows furrowed. He wordlessly huffed and made a miming motion of sweeping, scrubbing the floor, and penciling his homework. He’d done all his chores, and you could confirm this because you’d helped him with his homework last night. Art looked up at her, a wide smile suddenly appearing on his face. He batted his eyelashes at her and she couldn’t help but give a small chuckle. Her demeanor softened and she became pensive. 

You didn’t meet her gaze but could feel her staring at you while she thought. You were uncertain how his mother felt about you. She was particularly secretive about herself and her son, especially letting people inside her home. From the cracked door you can see inside, dark wood floors with an elegant green carpet. The living room furnished with a matching green sofa, a fireplace, and an elk’s head hanging over it. Affixed to the wall were several crucifixes that extended out of sight beyond the door.

She cleared her throat, indicating she noticed you snooping and you looked to her as you tried to hide your guilt. She pursed her lips before saying, “You can stay for dinner.”

Art clapped beside you, bouncing slightly in place with a wide, open mouth smile. He was elated. You held the same enthusiasm but under his mother’s scrutiny you felt apprehension. You had little time to think as Art was pulling on your sleeve and tugging you inside. He pushed past his mother and you awkwardly did the same, muttering a small apology as you passed.

You had never been inside Art’s home before and tried to keep your gawking private. There was a large collection of snowglobes from various cities on the mantle and pictures of Art and his mother. You noticed an absence of a father, and some pictures had been ripped or cut to remove a figure, but a masculine hand remained in frame. On the door frame leading into the bathroom, you noticed scratch marks too high to have been made by an animal. They were deep and jagged and looked like they had been made with human nails. This made you uncomfortable but you said nothing as you followed Art to the kitchen.

The kitchen held a myriad of smells. There was a crockpot going on the counter that smelled richly of beef and carrots, and from the oven you could smell bread. A lot of your meals were frozen or prepackaged, and the smell of home cooking made your stomach grumble. Art smiles at this and holds up a finger, indicating it would not be much longer until dinner was ready.

His mother wordlessly enters the kitchen and resumes her duties. She checks the oven then meanders over to the crockpot. She doesn’t say anything but you can feel her watching you and Art out of the corner of your eye. It’s awkward and disconcerting; Art can feel it too. He takes you back into the living room, just around the corner so you two can have some privacy.

Art looks at you, his expression a nervous grimace as he glances back to the kitchen then to you. He was worried this wouldn’t work, as were you. You’re both anxious to face the unknown, but it’s something that must be done. You muster your courage and offer him a reassuring smile. He returns it half heartedly before the same grimace rests on his features once more.

You hold out your hand, pinky extended. He stares at it a moment before wrapping his pinky around yours then looks to you, searching your face. It was a silent way to say ‘I’m with you’ and assure him he wasn’t facing this alone. He let out a wavering breath and his features softened.

‘You got this’ you mouth to him voicelessly and after a moment he nods in self assurance. He looks back to you, determination in his eyes. He nods again as he tries to psych himself up before walking back into the kitchen, his pinky losening from yours before he enters his mother’s sight.

She is arranging the plates on the table and looks to the two of you. With disinterest she says, “Dinner’s ready.”

Your plate is different, and you notice the portions are smaller, but you say nothing. You worry you are intruding but you weren’t really here to have dinner, you were here to support Art.

The three of you take your seats, her at the head of the table and you and Art on opposite sides of one another. Looking down at your plate you take in the sight of the spread before you. Roast beef, carrots, potatoes, and homemade sourdough to go along with it. Your pasta salad remained in the living room, but bringing it up seemed awkward. Regardless, what lay before you looked and smelled delicious, but you realized no one was eating yet.

His mother is watching you and you set your fork down. She then folds her hands in prayer and you do the same. Art folds his hands in his lap, looking down at the ground. You feel him gently kick your shin and you reciprocate by stepping on his foot. You remain this way, a means to silently reassure him of your presence as his mother said grace.

Once she was finished she placed a napkin in her lap. With a tight smile she glanced at you, “Eat up while it’s still hot.”

You begin eating. The roast is succulent and tender and you find yourself eating faster than normal. After several bites you look up to see Art has not changed position, he continues to stare at the floor and not touched his food. After a moment he finally looks up and stares at his mother until he has her attention.

“What is it, Arthur?” She asks, both curious and aggrivated. He muttered wordlessly before making the outline of a building with his hands. He made the same motion earlier of writing in a notebook, carried a pretend backpack, and held his plate like a lunch tray. Art stared at her with a deep yearning in his eyes for what he was excitedly miming. 

Nothing happened. The only sound was that of the clock ticking on the wall. You said nothing but kept looking between the mother and son as a stare down began between them. Art then wordlessly mouthed the word ‘school’, his fists clenched in determination.

“School? Sweetheart you’re already in school. You know you can’t go to regular school.” She gently stroked his cheek and he stared ahead, nostrils visibly flaring at her response. He slammed his fist on the table and pulled away from her, doing what he could to express how upset he was. You said nothing. You didn’t really know what to say, not yet.

“We’ve been over this before. I thought we were past this... Is that why you invited them over?” She looked to you questioningly, “Did you put him up to this?”

The absurdity of the question should be funny, but she’s serious. Her gaze is sharp and intense as it cuts through you. You push around the carrots on your plate for something to divert your attention. You can feel your heart begin to race. You knew confrontation was coming with this scheme but you didn’t expect to feel genuine fear.

“You put him up to this, didn’t you? You’ve been filling his head with all kinds of stories.”

“No ma’am...” You start, clearing your throat to still the nervous jitters, “I’m a student at the nearby middle school and they have an art program that I’m in that I think Art would love. I... I’m sure you’ve seen how talented he is…”

She sighs and rests her head in her hand in a ‘not this again’ gesture. Art had mentioned before how much his mother hated his desire to be an artist and his love for theatrics. She was waiting for him to outgrow it but he never did. If anything, his love for theater had increased over the years. She holds this pose for a dramatic moment before looking at Art with a tear in her eye, “Am I not good enough for you? Is that what this is about?”

He scooted away from her and eyed her warily, glancing over to you. He was saying something; he was trying to warn you. You grip your fork as she starts sniveling and dabs her eyes with a napkin, her mascara and eyeliner bleeding onto the white linen. You didn’t understand why she was crying, or what she was even upset about to begin with. You and Art exchange uncomfortable glances.

“So you just think you can use me for thirteen years and toss me to the side? Is that it?” She got close to his face, raising her voice, “Answer me Arthur! Is that what it is?!”

It was her turn to slam her fist down, and she did so hard that his water glass toppled over and spilled across the table. She ignored it, her gaze was entirely fixated on Art. He visibly gulped, his eyes wide as the gears in his head were turning. She looked furious, disgusted, betrayed. She didn’t look at him as her son, but as something else. Her reaction was... weird. Something about it made you deeply uncomfortable. It didn’t sit right.

“You’re going to leave me just like your father... You’re just like him... I’ve tried so hard and you’ve become just like him, so callous and cruel...” She gasped in a sob and turned away from him, pushing him roughly to distance herself further. With trembling hands, he rested his hand on her shoulder, awkwardly patting her. Though his motions were kind his eyes were distant. There was a look on his face you’d never seen someone have before and you didn’t know how to place it.

It was dreadful, apprehensive, resentful. It was an amalgamation of every wretched emotion you could think of. Simultaneously, his gaze was unfixed and blank as he stared straight ahead in silence, his motions mechanical. You understood this was a common practice and for a moment she was placated. Then in an instant she turned on you.

“I know this was all you! You’re the one who’s putting ideas in his head! YOU are the one trying to take him away from me! He’s known you three weeks and I’ve known him his entire life, and I will not stand by and have you take him away from me!”

You flounder. What are you supposed to say? What could you say to that? In a way, yes, that is what was going on, but Art needed some freedom. He couldn’t stay cooped up in the house with his mother, enduring her games until she finally died. That’s what you were afraid of for him. You sputter out, “I-I’m not I... I’m sorry I didn’t mean... that’s not what’s going on here!”

“Excuse me? Is that back talk I hear? Didn’t your mother teach you to have more respect than that?” She is exasperated, eyes wide with a manic rage. She raised her hand to backhand you and instinctively you cover your face, closing your eyes. You hear a visceral smack but no impact comes. Hesitantly, you lower your guard and peek from behind your hands. Art had stepped between the pair of you and took the hard smack to the face that was meant for you. He stabilizes and his mother is taken aback by his action, and seemingly as well as her own.

She stands there, jaw firm as she rests her hand on his shoulder. It isn’t a kind gesture, it is one of dominance and control. She is taller and stronger than him and she is asserting that in a silent, determined motion. You can tell by his stiff demeanor her grip is like a vice.

“So that’s how it is.” She scoffed and nodded, jaw clenched in anger as she exhaled hard through her nose, “Fine. You can ‘go to school’, you can do whatever you want. I give up. If that’s the way you want to play it then fine! But you’ll see that I’m right. All they’re going to do is laugh at you.”

She observed him in silence before looking over to you, “I think it’s time for you to go home.”

Inwardly you agreed but you didn’t want to leave, you didn’t like the way she was holding his shoulder with her nails dug into his shirt. She was gripping so hard her hand was shaking, her whole body was, with some sort of outrage with seemingly no source. Then without warning she started crying again, as though she’d suddenly become aware of her terrible deeds.

Her grip went slack and she wrapped her arms around Art, shushing and cooing at him as she stroked the red place on his cheek where she had hit him, “Mommy’s so sorry, Arthur. You know I just want the best for you. You know how much I worry about you…”

She is rocking with him slightly as she tries to soothe him. She then looks to you over his shoulder and tearfully adds, “I’m sorry dear, please see yourself out and get home safe.”

With hesitation, you turn to leave, the sound of his mother’s hushed whispers and sobs trailing after and following you out the door. You stand on the porch a moment and listen to the crickets and katydids chirp and chatter. Though your and Art’s plan had ended successfully, the entire exchange left you feeling anxious and queasy. 

As you walk back to your house you can’t help but glance over your shoulder at the neighboring one. It was eerily silent and the lights had been turned out. You came to a stop and waited, observing the house as the streetlights came on. Art’s house had been swallowed in a darkness that even the bright, orange glow of the streetlights couldn’t penetrate.

Were they just sitting over there in darkness? Something wasn’t right. The house and interactions between he and his mother were strange, weird, and sort of creepy. There was something bad going on in that house, and now that Art would be joining you in school, you were going to find out.

[somestorys]

Ready to lose, Thornton?

JUST LITTLE CUTE STORY

Sofia / Rafe shipping + Topper (fueled by too much tequila) // Outer Banks.

_______________________________________________

It was one of those nights in Figure 8 where the rich kids took over Topper’s house, laughter echoing through the halls, music thumping from every corner, and drinks flowing like water. Rafe, Topper, Kelsey, and a few others were sprawled across the living room, half-bored and half-tipsy, when Topper’s latest “genius idea” surfaced—a full-blown Nerf war.

Sofia was leaning against the arm of a sofa, trying to ignore pure happiness on Rafe eyes when he saw the Ner guns, her eyes drifting around the room with mild uneasiness. She looked Topper, did he really want to give a vodka fueled Rafe a Nerf gun?

She and Rafe had been something for a while now—something between dating and hooking up, though it was clear to anyone paying attention that she wasn’t just fling to him. He had this way of hovering around her, like he was always subtly making sure she was within reach.

Topper, fueled by too much tequila and a misplaced sense of leadership, held up a bright orange Nerf gun and announced, “Alright, listen up. It’s on. Teams or every man for himself?”

Rafe barely glanced at him, already looking at a box full of Nerf guns, his lips curling into a smirk. “Every man for himself,” he said, his voice calm but carrying an undeniable edge.

Rafe picked up Nerf gun, tested the weight of it in his hand, and cocked an eyebrow. There was a glint in his eye, a competitive, almost dangerous edge, even with just a toy gun in his hand.

“Ready to lose, Thornton?” Rafe said, his voice cool, low, and mocking. Everyone in this room knew that once Rafe got into something, it was game on. Sofia rubbed her temples, this not going to be good.

Topper laughed, trying to sound confident but knowing full well Rafe wasn’t the type to lose at anything—even if it was just a ridiculous Nerf war. “Oh, bring it, Cameron,” Topper replied, trying to keep his cool, but Sofia caught the slight tension in his voice.

Everyone knew that Rafe had that effortless dominance about him; he didn’t need to shout or rally. When he took the lead, everyone just followed. Topper might try to play the leader of group, being always the loudest, but Rafe was the one people listened to, the one they followed without even realizing it. Mostly because he was… well slightly intimidating.

The game kicked off with a flurry of foam darts whizzing through the room, and Sofia watched with barely concealed laughter as Rafe dove behind furniture and took aim like he was on a mission. She couldn’t help it; he was getting way too into this, his brow furrowed, his movements precise. Every time he hit somebody, he would scream something totally outrageous like “Checkmate, Bit*h”.

Sofia couldn’t help a little giggle coming from her mouth when Topper run from a room, since Rafe was defiantly targeting him most.

“You know it’s just a game, right?” she called out, dodging one of his stray shots.

He shot her a look over his shoulder, smirking very smugly. “Hey, I take my wins seriously, yeah?”

Ruthie, Topper’s girlfriend—a perfectly manicured brunette with a mean attitude —sidled up to Sofia, giving her a smile that was somehow both friendly and judging. Ruthie usually treated everyone outside their circle with thinly veiled disdain, but with Sofia, she kept her manners in check. She knew better than to get on Rafe’s bad side, at least when Rafe had a nerf gun in his hand and had been drinking since noon.

“They’re like little boys with toys,” Ruthie muttered, rolling her eyes as she watched Topper run around, screaming like he was leading a battle. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I date him.”

Sofia laughed little bit too loud it to be genuine laugh, she didn’t really like Ruthie that much. She was everything that was wrong in Figure 8.

She noticed Ruthie’s eyes lingering on Rafe, her gaze softer, almost envious. Sofia knew Ruthie was drawn to the darker, more intense side of Rafe—the side that might make most people think twice before crossing him. Sofia had seen it up close enough times to get it. But Ruthie had no idea there was a whole other side to Rafe. The guy could actually be a very gentle and sensitive boyfriend—when he felt like it, anyway.

At one point, a stray dart hit Sofia square in the shoulder. She gasped, pretending to be scandalized. “Seriously, Rafe? Your aim’s that bad?”

He lowered his Nerf gun, a lazy smirk spreading across his face as he approached her, his tone dropping. “Trust me, I don’t miss. I got your attention, mmh?” he murmured, closing the distance between them. His hand reached up to brush a piece of her hair behind her ear, the touch both possessive and electric.

Topper, noticing the moment and apparently unable to resist a good tease, grinned and nudged Rafe. “Man, you’re looking at her like she’s the only one here. I think you’re getting soft”

Rafe didn’t even blink, his eyes still locked on Sofia as he smirked. “Shut it, Thornton,” he said, his voice dropping on that almost icy tone, he glanced Topper warningly. He looked back at Sofia, almost as if Topper didn’t exist. “Wait... you’re not getting soft on me, or are you?” He thinks he was so funny, smirking.

Sofia couldn’t help but snort, oh he was playing with her. She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms in mock challenge. “I think you’re projecting, Cameron.”

They held each other’s gaze, both waiting other one give in. Then, as if he couldn’t resist, Rafe leaned in closer his lips touching Sofias earlobe, dropping his voice so only she could hear. “You know, I’d take down everyone in this room if it meant winning you. You like that kind of romantic shit, yeah?”

Sofia laughed, her cheeks flushing slightly as she shoved him away playfully. Rafe looked her empty class in a side table, “I get you more”.

Ruthie was mildly impressed this softer side of Rafe—the guy who seemed to have a reputation for being untouchable, suddenly doting on Sofia with this strange mix of protectiveness and teasing affection. For her, Rafe has never been “dating option” before she saw her with Sofia, how she had missed that potential?

The night went on, foam darts flying everywhere, the group scattering and laughing. Every so often, Sofia would catch Rafe’s eye from across the room, he was constantly checking that she was still there.

As the chaos settled and they all collapsed onto couches, catching their breath and laughing, Rafe’s hands found its way to Sofia’s hips, a subtle, attentive touch when he pulled her on his lap. His hands touched lazily her hips, roaming up and down. For a guy who didn’t want a girlfriend, he was being rather touchy.

[dorothytheexplorothy]

a few things, mostly tangential:

first (the problem): @there-are-45-chameleons has pointed out in the notes that it'd probably make sense to say 0 is not representable - since []=[][]=..., it also makes sense to say ��=[] = 1. the empty list should represent the empty product, which is 1. you could bypass this "problem" by adding a formal "0" symbol, which to keep the recursive nature of this notation would then have to appear in every "empty" bracket - if 3 is [][[]], then to have zero and keep the recursion it would be [0][[0]]. I mean, we could still write "3 = [][[]]", but strictly speaking that would be an abuse of notation.

second (the formalisation): for fun, when I played with this notation myself (funnily enough, right before op posted this (sorry it made me feel smart and I wanted to brag)), I'd also formulated a definition of the inductive type of these expressions. I'll try to reconstruct it here -

define the type L of these lists, and the type T of the possible terms in a list, by mutual induction:

L := 1 + L×T + L, T := L/~, where ~ is the equivalence relation generated by c~c[] and a~b->[a]~[b]. explicitly, L is generated by (a) ε:L (the empty list [], denoting 1), (b) appending terms on the end (written as (l;b):L×T->L, where b is the term appended to the end of the list l), and (c) putting lists into boxes (Box:L->L, which takes 3=[];[[]] to [[];[[]]]=[3]=8). then to interpret this as a number we go over to T, whose generators are inj:L->T and the path constructors mul_1:(a,b:L)->(b=a;inj(ε))->(inj(a)=inj(b)) (this says that a=a*1, or formally a=a;ε) and boxeq:(a,b:L)->(inj(a)=inj(b))->(inj(Box(a))=inj(Box(b))) (i.e. if a=b as numbers then so are [a]=[b])

if you want an exercise to check your understanding, try to prove that while the distinct lists a;ε and a are equal as numbers, a;ε;[ε]=a[][1] and a are not.

you may have noticed this system can only represent positive integers. I've not added a way to talk about 0 or about negative numbers - by extension there's also no way to talk about fractions or irrationals. this brings us to the next part-

third (the solution?): why are we limiting ourselves to finite products? we could easily create a coinductive type of infinite "formal products" - in the same way we can turn inductive lists into coinductive streams, we can turn our finite recursive lists L into infinite recursive streams L*. we just have to think about 1 as [][][][]...=2⁰3⁰5⁰7⁰..., and we don't even need the mul_1 path constructor since we can't append to an infinite stream (therefore, a little more subtly, we don't need any path constructors, and we can define L* by itself, without a T*). in short what we get is L* := 2L*+1, with destructors tl:L*->L* ("delete the first entry in the list"), and hd:L*->L*+1 ("inspect the list in the first bracket" - returns "0" if bracket is empty), whence we define 1 to be the unique element such that tl(1)=1, hd(1)=0.

now products with only finitely many nonempty brackets are easy to understand, but how should we interpret infinite products? I suggest we can use some kind of regularisation, which lets us produce non-integers! - for example, the standard value assigned to the product of all primes (which in our system would be P s.t tl(P)=P, hd(P)=1) is 4π^2 (see e.g. Allouche's "zeta-regularization of arithmetic sequences" (pdf)). I think it's impossible to create nonpositive numbers, because every number produced by the regularisation is basically e^(another real number). we're working with infinite products as opposed to sums so it's somewhat intuitive that we'd get positive reals instead of all the reals.

I think the regularisation function isn't injective (there can be two different infinite products evaluating to the same number), so we'd have to add some complicated path constructor that takes that into account but practically it's not an issue (I don't even know if it's an issue at all, since we're just working with products of primes, not general natural/rational/whatever numbers. is it also non-injective on sequences of primes and recursively on sequences of infinite-product-powers of primes? idk). that's all I got for now; idk if these are closed under addition, multiplication, etc. one thing I am wondering though, is whether there's a "canonical" way of representing the product of all positive integers (not just the primes) in this system? the regularised value of the product would be sqrt(2π), so is there some way to choose λ_i s.t the product of prime powers Πp_i^(λ_i)=sqrt(2π), and if so is there a sense in which this is related directly to the product Πi, pre-assigning a value?

cursed number notation. can you figure it out

1 = []

2 = [[]]

3 = [][[]]

4 = [[[]]]

12 = [[[]]][[]]

0 =

-1 = -[]

19 = [][][][][][][][[]]

20 = [[[]]][][[]]

-2 = -[[]]

1/2 = [-[]]

sqrt(2) = [[-[]]]

72^1/6 = [[-[]]][[][-[]]]

5/4 = [-[[]]][][[]]