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thetriboulet · 1 month ago

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AMERICAN OSEMANVERSE FAN'S GUIDE TO BRITISHISMS AND THE SCHOOL SYSTEM

HELLO - so I've been seeing a few posts about like. american Osemanverse/other-british-ip fans not understanding the uk school system or just general britishisms, especially when writing fanfiction, SO. I've created a little guide below to help with some pretty common mistakes i see a lot in fics, but also just general misunderstandings and confusion.

(NOTE THAT THIS IS SPECIFIC TO ENGLAND AS ALL OSEMANVERSE PROPERTIES ARE SET THERE. AS THIS IS LARGELY TO DO WITH EDUCATION AND COLLOQUIALISMS PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT AGE GROUPS AND PARTS OF THE UK MAY HAVE EXPERIENCES WITH THESE TERMS/SYSTEMS THAT DIFFER FROM WHAT I HAVE LAID OUT.)

Language and slang:

(the four words I see misused, used out of place, or used in excess a lot in fics.)

1. 'Mate' - alright so. 'Mate', in my experience, tends to be used in three main ways:

i) just a general address that people (usually guys) use on their friends. I'd like to point out that it's used more as an address than a noun. So, for example, its a lot more common to hear someone be like 'Mate, are you alright' than it is to hear 'Yeah we're good mates', although the latter is still a thing. Worth noting however that when used as a noun the word comes off as very casual and sometimes a bit dismissive, so it's unlikely that characters such as Frances and Aled would refer to each other as 'mates'. The only Osemanverse characters I can think of rn that I think have or would call someone their mate are Harry or Mac, probably.

ii) again a general address except with a hint of irony. think when Angel tells Juliet 'Mate, I am living.' It's basically the same as i) except a little sillier. a little more chutzpah. i could see Rooney, Angel, Tao, and Bliss using it this way.

iii) aggressively. think when harry says 'mate, are you in a mood' in the heartsopper netflix show or when Nick calls Charlie mate in Nick & Charlie. In an aggressive context its pretty much exclusively used as an address. If you're writing angst about your chosen characters arguing then this can be a pretty good way of indicating a tonal shift.

2. 'Bruv' - absolutely not. Never use this one unironically I'm begging you I promise that the general bruv population over here are NOT in the Osemanverse fandom.

3. 'Bloke' - not the worst. Used solely as a noun (unless you're counting 'blokish'), usually by and with reference to men aged 30+. This one is a bit more common up north so if you're writing fanfiction for Loveless set in Durham then having older characters use this is fitting. It isn't unheard of for younger people to use it, but the only Osemanverse characters I can think of off the top of my head who would are probably Harry, Lister, (maybe) Rowan, and the taxi driver from iwbft, or Rooney or Becky ironically.

4. 'Lad' - same as 'Bloke' except used with reference to young boys/men. This one is more likely to be used by younger people than 'Bloke', specifically as a noun or mode of address (i.e I think at one point in IWBFT Lister addresses Rowan and Jimmy as 'lads'.)

School stuff!:

NOTE: We refer to stages of school in two main ways-

No 1 is Years, going from 1-6 (primary), 7-11 (secondary), and 12-13 (sixth form/college).

No 2 is Key Stages (KS). This basically lumps together year groups. Years 12-13 are KS5, years 10-11 are KS4, years 7-9 are KS3, years 3-6 are KS2, and anything below that is KS1.

YEARS TO GRADES TRANSLATOR: Add one to a grade and you'll get the equivalent year. For example: Grade 9 = Year 10, Grade 4 = Year 5. I know this may seem innocuous but trust me it makes SUCH a difference.

SUBJECT NAMING CONVENTIONS: Some of our school subject names are different. Common ones that people get wrong (as in, using american names to describe british classes) include:

- Maths/Mathematics (=MATH, obviously) - This doesn't seem like a big deal but trust me if you put 'math' or 'math class' in your writing it can stick out. (Also worth mentioning that in the UK we don't normally seperate maths into different classes, i.e Calculus or Geometry. These will all be taught by the same teacher(s) in the same allocated class time.)

- PE/Physical Education (=GYM) - not much to say about this. 'Gym' is fine when referring to the physical space, but most people don't call the subject 'Gym class'.

- History - not a big deal but we usually don't have different kinds of History class, i.e 'World History' or 'U.S History' (obviously not the latter.)

A RUNDOWN OF THE SCHOOLING TIMELINE:

PRE SCHOOL- (equivalent to KINDERGARTEN) - most people start school around age three by going to 'nursery', though some people dont.

PRIMARY SCHOOL (equivalent to ELEMENTARY SCHOOL)- You then move up to Reception, which is basically Baby's Induction Into the School System. Following that, you go from years 1-6 (some primary schools only go up to year 5 and some go all the way up to year 7 but this is uncommon).

SECONDARY SCHOOL (YEARS 7-9) - (equivalent to MIDDLE SCHOOL) - this is where the translation to americansim gets a bit messy im afraid. Secondary school spans 5 years total, from the ages of 11-16, which means that the first two years of what americans call high school are part of our secondary school system in addition to american middle school years. But yeah, years 7-9 are basically middle school. During year 9 students will choose subjects (although some are compulsory, like maths and english) to study at GCSE (General Certificate of Secondary Education).

SECONDARY SCHOOL (years 10-11) - (equivalent to FRESHMAN and SOPHMORE years of highschool) - years 10-11 is generally when people start studying for their GCSEs. In summary, this is when school gets a bit serious. Year 11s sit for their exams at the end of the year and leave school early once theyre finished. As i said before these year groups are usually a part of the same school as year 7-9.

SIXTH FORM/COLLEGE (years 12-13) - (equivalent to JUNIOR and SENIOR years of highschool) - when shit hits the fan. Students in this year bracket will usually study 3 or 4 A-Levels depending on the school. We also have International Baccalaureate and Level 3 Diploma courses but as far as I'm aware no Osemanverse characters take/have taken these. 'Sixth form' and 'college' both refer to this age group (college does not mean university in this case) and facilitate mostly the same types of study, however, Sixth forms are more similar to Secondary schools than colleges as they usually have uniforms and are generally stricter. I don't think any characters attend college though so this shouldn't be an issue.

FINAL NOTE: Don't take any of this too seriously. Writing fanfiction is supposed to be fun, and stressing over transcontinental slang differences isn't worth it if it takes any enjoyment away from your writing process. I just wanted to put all these things into one text post so people who want clarity on them can have an easy point of reference. While sometimes reading 'grade' instead of 'year', or 'mate' in a place it shouldn't be can sometimes very briefly take me out of a fic, it is not a big deal at all and doesn't stop me (or anyone) from enjoying that piece of writing. I can confidently say I have never read a bad Osemanverse fic, and the IWBFT and Radio Silence fandoms in particular produce some amazing work IMO. These aren't rules, just tips.

Except for the bruv thing.

Never put bruv in your fic I beg.

Y'all are amazing, have a nice day :^)

#osemanverse #alice oseman #iwbft #i was born for this #booklr #oseman tag #the osemanverse #radio silence #solitaire #loveless alice oseman #heartstopper

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not-alien-girl-v · 1 year ago

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I am BEGGING for a part two to the George fic, please please PLEASE let her have happiness with matty have we not suffered enough???

Everything I Didn't Say (Matty Healy)

Part 1 is right here read it first

Warning: idk

Note: i have 2 active crushes rn this is so upsetting i feel like a 13 year old girl writing in my diary

2.1k

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Hesitantly, she approaches Matty, no idea of what is next to come.

He seems equally unsure. Hands grasping at nothing by his sides, clenching, unclenching, folding up lightly then releasing. He looks over her shoulder, at Ross and Adam, looking close to opening a bag of popcorn, anticipating every next movement from the two before them.

Not today, not now, Matty thinks to himself, and gives the boys a look that is easily translated to 'head out now, lads.' They understand, a bit disappointed, as the both of them have been waiting on something to happen with the dreaded love triangle for as long as its existed. They had to endure every painful moment with them, and now they can't be present for the grand finale?

Alas, this was their friends lives, not a TV show they've been binge watching for years on end, so they file out of the room without a word, trying to go unnoticed, not bothering either of the people left standing there, staring at each other with pained expressions.

"So," she starts, though she feels as though Matty has more to say to her than she does to him at this point. It's a complicated thing they have going here. She just witnessed the years-long crush dissolve into vapor right before her eyes in a millisecond, only to find out Matty has been equally as pathetic, perhaps even more so, about her as she has been this whole time.

Does she see him like that? She doesn't not see him like that. To be honest, all 4 of the boys she calls her best friends are all wildly attractive, it makes her wonder how she ended up having a crush on George in the first place. Why not anyone else?

The simple truth is that upon meeting the boys, she was a bit starstruck just by the sight of them. Adam was quiet, distanced in a friendly manner, not one that spoke 'I don't like you' to her, but just in the matter that that's the way he is as a person. She observed him closely for a while. He's like this with everyone else he knows, minus his long-term girlfriend, Carly, which is the main reason Adam wasn't the one to catch her eyes in a romantic sense in the beginning.

Ross was gentle, kind, funny, but more than that, he was an amazing friend, and perhaps if he had gotten close enough to her as George did in a platonic sense, he could have easily caught her attention.

And Matty was a mess. Still is. Probably always will be. He's loud, he's warm, for lack of better words, he's welcoming. But he was also messy. That's not to say she didn't care deeply for him. She loved him more than life itself. In all the times George turned inexplicably sour, Matty was always there, sweet as ever.

She hates that when she thinks of Matty, the first word that comes to mind is 'messy.' But it's the whole truth. He's never kept a solid relationship for more than about 2 weeks, and he always seems to leave a branding mark on the women he surrounds himself with in a romantic sense. Branded, burning, on fire.

It scared her more than she liked to admit. She tried not to think about herself in a different timeline, having been dating Matty for years now, letting him do unforgivable things and then forgiving him each time in the name of 'love.'

When she met George, he was single, approachable, and all over her. It didn't take long for feelings to arise. He didn't scare her like Matty, wasn't aloof like Adam, and seemed to pay closer attention to her than Ross.

But it's all out the window now. Out the door, into a car, down the street, and far, far away.

What remains is Matty, eyes dripping with pain, love, infatuation, and some tears in the mix as well. He could never help but cry at the slightest sign of emotion.

"Y/N." He says it plainly, like he doesn't plan on elaborating, but she wishes to any higher power that he does. She's unsure about how to go about this, and she can't do it alone, without his help.

When she waits a moment and he actually doesn't continue, she sprouts conversation from her mouth, "you like me."

"I love you."

Whatever words she had stored in her throat are gone now.

"Listen to me, okay? If you don't feel the same, if you don't feel for me in the way I do you, I won't be mad. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. If I could change things, I swear to you, I would. But I had to say what I did, I couldn't continue biting my tongue about you, you just make me so-"

"Crazy?" She jokes, quietly, feeling smaller than a mouse. She wishes she had some magic way to regain enough confidence for this conversation.

"I was going to say 'passionate'. But sure, crazy works too. I did mean it though, everything I said. I have loved you for longer than I can remember, and I am so sorry I waited so long to tell you. I'm sorry things ended up like they did, like they are, it's no fair to you and you don't deserve any of this and it's all my fault and-"

"Stop," there it is, that hint of confidence on her tongue, charging behind her teeth where she lays her words to rest.

"What?"

"Stop that. Apologizing. None of this is your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for."

They're still standing face to face in the kitchen, about 2 or 3 feet away.

"What do you want to do now? It's your choice, love, not mine, I won't force you into anything, ever. If you want to forget about this, forget I ever said anything, pretend nothing ever happened? That's okay. I'll do whatever you want me to."

She looks around the room, feeling heavy. "I want to sit down. With you. Talk about this." He nods, and walks over to the table, pulling out a chair that she expects him to sit in, but he looks at her, waiting, and she comes to realize it's for her. "Thanks."

He takes a seat opposite her at the table. He has no words, only gazing, impatient eyes, ready to drink any and every word she has to tell him. Hopelessly devoted. Deeply in love. How did she never notice this before? The way he looks at her, heavy and pained.

"I love you, Matty. I'm scared. You scare me."

"What have I done, darling? Was it when I hit George, said all those awful things to him, because I swear to you, no matter what happens in our future, I would never, never treat you in such a way."

She shakes her head, eyes down at the table. "No. It's not that. It's... it's hard to explain. The woman who have loved you, the ones who you give your love to, they're never satisfied with you. Never happy, never for long. Why? Because it's a problem I've noticed, and it scares me. To be one of those women, forever changed, I'm scared."

He purses his lips, finally breaking his longing gaze to look down at his fiddling fingers resting together on the table. He aches to take her into him, just a sliver of her, a tiny piece into his hands to hold on to. He knows better, though.

"I suppose you deserve the entire truth, everything I didn't say."

He breathes in like he's about to give a heartfelt speech, and maybe it's not far from the truth.

"The issue has always been you. I'm not blaming you for anything, this is not your fault, it's mine. Completely mine. I've felt so deeply for you for so long, and you've always been out of my reach, far away from me, so I tried to move on. To something else, somebody else, and it never worked out. Fuck, nobody wants to date a guy who's too pathetically into his best friend to maintain a meaningful relationship with anyone else. It's you. It's always been you."

"I'll admit, I've done wrong by too many women due to this. I've let some get too close to me, closer than they should have been for their own benefit, because after a given amount of time, they all came to understand me, see me for who I really was, my motives for everything, and they never liked what they found."

"So it really was me? Through everything?" She steals a glance at his handsome face, coming to find him looking up at her again.

"Of course. It always will be, I'm afraid. But I'm sorry for causing you to think of me so lowly. If I had a way to tell you about all of this before, I would have done it."

She smiles, without much happiness or joy, almost in sorrow, pained to see how much he's hurting over this. "What did I say about apologizing?"

He smiles back, but is at a loss for words now. There it is, the world's most awkward silences. How is she supposed to move on from this?

After too long of neither saying anything, he speaks up, voice shaking, and she can tell the tears are streaming down his face. It stabs her roughly, she wants to wipe them away and hold onto him tightly and tell him everything will be okay and-

"I don't think we should be friends anymore."

"Wait, what?" She is so shocked, she feels as though her jaw is on the literal floor.

"I know I said I wouldn't be mad, no matter what. But either way, for my own sake, I think I need distance. From you. Again, not your fault. This is me being selfish, doing something purely for my own benefit. But will you allow me this tiny piece of self-indulgence? Allow me the distance? I think it would be best." He chews on the inside of his lip, mouth curved into a frown. "Please?"

Before she can make any sense of anything, he's already stood up, standing by the doorway. She gets this sinking feeling that if she lets him disappear out of it today, she may never see him again, or she'd regret it until the day she dies, or worse, both.

"Fuck no," she stands too, grabbing his wrist in attempt to keep him near, hoping she doesn't have to revert to clawing and crying and begging him not to leave, but she feels prepared to do so if necessary.

She loves him. That much is for certain. The shock of the situation made her feelings hard to see through, but seeing him there, about to walk out the door on her for the foreseeable future, it puts everything into perspetive.

She loves him, she wants him, she needs him, and she's never letting him leave.

On some odd instinct, some impulse buried deep inside of her that only comes out in the most dire of moments, she grabs him forcefully by the back of his neck, curls squished under the weight of her heavy, gripping fingers, and pulls her lips to his.

It's one hell of a first kiss. She's instantly incinerated, entire body burning, stemming from her lips which are messily pressed to his in desperation, and he stands still for a few moments, letting himself be kissed, in shock, she hopes. Finally, his hands come to meet the sides of her head, holding her in place firmly, and he kisses her back with just as much force, as much passion. She hopes she never has to let him out of her grasp.

He pulls away first, both his hands slipping down to rest on either of her shoulders, and she reaches a knuckle up to gently wipe streaming, hot tears from his face.

"I won't let you leave, not today, not ever." He nods with every word she speaks, like he's drunk on her cadence.

She goes back in for another kiss, hoping to reignite herself, but he dodges it. "Wait, what does this mean? For us? What's going to happen next?"

She holds his gaze with intensity. "Next, you're going to kiss me more. After that, you're gonna drive me home. And tomorrow, you're going to take me on our first date. We can figure it all out from there. But for now, I just want you."

He nods, smiles, no smugness or cockiness behind it, which is so unlike him, "I want you too," he is so sincere her heart aches to hear him whisper it onto her lips.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Taglist: @indierockgirrl @itssimpleanditgoeslikethis @americanangel @milkluvr8

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gerbiloftriumph · 7 months ago

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Floating Castle Liveblog (third read)

In 2020, I read the first king's quest adaptation novel. Again. Because 2020 was awful.

August 22, 2020 –

page 0

I'm not going to read this aga--oh wait no who am I kidding I'm trapped at work for another four hours and it's *not* a good day and I just want my tea drinking wizard tree and frog prince and mcguffin king and headless ghosts and the soft delights of smarmy sassy villains. (also the kq series is the only series i have easy access to rn so shhh)

page 3

"Castles do not fly." The title of the book says otherwise, sir.

page 10

Gotta admit, Telgrin's perpetual single thundercloud over his castle still gives me ridiculous amounts of joy. I'm sitting here grinning honestly for the first time all day. I love my melodramatic sassmaster.

page 14

I comment on it every single time I read this (yes this IS the third time I've read this in three years, leave me alone), but I seriously love watching Graham being an actual king. I love adventures, and I love royals, and I love adventuring royals, but I also really like the sturdy basis of kindness and clarity Graham just has as a leader. It's really pleasant.

page 20

IT HIM. Heeeeeeere's Telgrin! Do you think Telgrin spent hours shuffling around trying to perfect that gliding walk? Stars, I hope he did. I mean in any other villain it would just be natural but with my emo goth drama king who tries too hard, everything is carefully plotted for maximum visual aesthetic.

page 22

Totally seriously, though, the contrast between Graham's tightly contained fury and balance of how he's been treating the assembly and Telgin's wide swept theatrics and overblown personality is SO good. This sort of subtle contrast really does raise this book from generic game adaptation to surprisingly pleasant fantasy. It's still genre light, but it has confidence and solid bone work.

page 23

"The news reached me that you were gathering all your knights here today, Graham, so it seemed a convenient time." Because Telgrin won't do anything without an audience to oooh and ahhh over his antics.

page 30

"Everything seemed muted, vague, unreal." Oh, did you mean my life right now? No? Close enough.

page 33

"and a small pear." Yes, a crucial thing to make sure you pack on your voyage. Good call.

page 38

TREE WIZARD oh stars my whole heart is happyyyyy. What a mood improvement.

page 40

"So, that castle belongs to this guy named Telgrin." "Oh yeah, Telgrin. He's evil. Don't mess with him." "You know him?" "I know his reputation." Stars, Telgrin would be SO PLEASED to know his reputation precedes him now. I hope he started some of those rumors himself.

page 40

I still can't handle the density of this conversation. "Telgrin is a stealer of souls." "A stealer of souls? What's that?" Alexander. Alexander, pleaaaase think about what you just said. Please. I love you, but seriously.

page 45

Even when you are a tree wizard, that is, a wizard slowly and literally turning into a tree, it's still important that you get your morning cup of tea. Morowyn knows it. So should you.

page 47

In other words, Alexander, you're just a glorified babysitter. You could have asked Big Knight Brian Blessed to be your partner in crime on this heist and gotten a better result. (i'm kidding of course I love Cyril to absolute pieces, look at this farmboy wizard lad he's so squishy and blond and round and I love him.)

page 54

heist heist heist heIST let's plan a HEIST.

page 58

The moat monsters also have a taste for the finer things in life. Like feather-capped adventurers. Castle Daventry is literally the most perfect fantasy castle there is. It even has a hoard of moat monsters. Like, you can't get more Fantasy Castle than this place. Telgrin only wishes his castle was that cool. He just has to make do with personal thunderclouds.

page 63

A small thing, but I super love Mills's emphasis on color. From the rain slanting golden in the yellow torchlight, to the hills here slowly changing from an angry maroon to a deep indigo with a band of yellow slowly disappearing as the sun sets...it's heavily visual, like he's literally painting a screen from the games, and I find it rather peaceful, somehow.

page 64

Literally just the ringwraith scene from Fellowship of the Ring, but with King's Quest protagonists instead of Frodo and friends. The audacity of this book. I love it.

page 69

Mills was absolutely just rereading Fellowship of the Ring when he was asked to write this book. It's not even subtle at this point. .........and I super love every single reference with all my silly fantasy heart.

page 89

I can't think of a single other fantasy in which the protagonist lassos a kelpie and attempts to ride it. I can't imagine why not. It's a flawless plan.

page 96

I feel like that's just magic homemade whiskey. Getting the prince drunk might not be in everyone's best interest.

page 97

Alexander, you gotta stop calling people "ho." You're gonna offend someone. (I'm kidding, of course. "Ho there" is as traditionally delightful as "Who goes there," and highly welcome to behold.)

page 99

platform boots

page 100

I'm sorry, I know I commented on this when I read this last year, but...again. Telgrin has One Single Lone Stupid Thundercloud, which "hovered over a high central tower. From time to time, this cloud would light with an internal fire, and a low, menacing rumble would break across the land." It's like the Winnie the Pooh raincloud, with ambient sound effects. The audacious aesthetic of this guy is a DELIGHT to behold.

page 107

Aaah yes the Road to El Dorado sequence. Truly, this book is nothing but the best hits of adventure tropes crammed into a book 300 pages long.

page 108

Does this mean that Telgrin has also been to Narnia? Oh dear.

page 112

Again. "The cloud." Not many clouds. Just the one. A single, lone, silly, thundercloud.

August 24, 2020 –

page 114

Wait, what came first, this book or the Muppet Christmas Carol movie? Because all I can picture is Scrooge's Statler-shaped Muppet door knocker, but with extra teeth, shrieking.

page 117

Is Alexander is the only person in the series to ever have a proper sword fight? I mean, not counting....uhhhh is it Owen in KQ8? (Super didn't play KQ8, everyone said it wasn't worth the effort.)

page 123

Like, I gotta say: binding souls to armor, cool. Great scheme, very evil. Making it so that just knocking the helmet off releases the soul into the night forever? ...nooooot the most ideal.

page 126

You know in Princess Bride, when Westley tries to wrestle Fezzik, and just kinda runs at him and squeezes him and absolutely nothing happens? Alexander, right here, vs the black knight.

page 131

A barikar is not a real fantasy monster--the only google result that comes up is that, yes, Telgrin owns one. But it's a huge rabbit with a rat nose, dog fangs, fish scales instead of fur, and human like hands with claws. It sees about as well as a human, but it can hear well, thanks to the rabbit ears. It's absolutely ridiculous. I love it. I wonder if I can convince my dm to make it a fight in our campaign.

page 133

My sweet babiiiiies. Alexander making Cyril stand behind him to protect him and Cyril absolutely refusing and taking the front anyway. I love these kids. I say, fully recognizing that they're semi-close to my age and know how to handle swords and magic.

page 133

Oh, no, excuse me, the Bariker doesn't have rabbit ears--it has bat ears. Which just kind of further emphasizes how much I want this thing in a campaign. It's so ridiculous.

page 139

Where was he? Yes. Who was this beside him? Yes. How long had he been asleep? No way of knowing. Alexander, those are not answers to questions, except maybe the last one. You've answered nothing. Alexander, please.

page 141

headless ghost headless ghost headless ghoooost i can't stop smiling he's holding it like a football it's amazing

August 25, 2020 –

page 142

Lydia's mom caught Anime Mom Protagonist Disease. It's a tragic illness. No hope of recovery.

page 142

"Owen took a brief pause, while Alexander reflected on the fact that he was getting used to carrying on a conversation with a beheaded man. It was starting to seem almost normal. Almost." How is this a real book. I love this book.

page 143

tragic telgrin backsto--oh wait it's not tragic at all he's just always been a brat.

page 144

"Somehow a beheaded man on his feet was infinitely more alarming than a beheaded man quietly seated." o rly?

page 145

Look, it is a *little* creepy that he would install magic mirrors of spying in his daughter's bedroom without her knowledge, but considering Owen admitted to teaching Telgrin everything he knows, including presumably soul torturing magic, we can kind of assume Owen isn't actually that good a guy after all.

page 149

Glowing moss in fantasy must be the most useful plant ever cultivated.

page 155

Obviously, there's nothing wrong with describing Alexander's haunches, but it's also just a little weird. It's not...a word I hear often, especially in reference to humans.

page 156

I like a good wizard who knows that a cup of tea soothes most ills. A man after my own heart.

page 156

"After allowing himself to wallow in depression for a short while, he pushed his mood aside with a firm effort, squared, his shoulders, and said, 'Well, the sooner we get going, the sooner you'll get your bath and your tea.'" Ah, yes, of course, just push aside your wallowing. Why didn't I realize it was that easy?

page 158

"A few wary, rather mincing steps, brought him to the vestibule." Alexander, your author is making fun of you. Just a bit.

page 161

The book is very, very clear that it's just Graham's face floating in the soul-capture orb. The book is very, very wrong. It's a tiny Graham floating around in there. Like, full body, but like two inches high. This is fact, and better than a disembodied Wizard of Oz-style face. I'm just letting you all know that the book is misprinted. Every copy. It's a full body'd Graham. Just smol.

page 162

YEAH BOI PUNCH AN UNDEAD KNIGHT...oh no, your arm, why did you just literally punch a suit of armor, you donut, you know better than that

August 26, 2020 –

page 167

To be fair, the door is now open. As is the floor, and the wall, and...well, the room, to the sky. Definitely very open.

August 27, 2020 –

page 169

It's turned into Dragon's Lair instead of King's Quest, for this scene. Super into it. Wouldn't want to play it as a video game, though--the amounts of game overs....

August 31, 2020 –

page 169

"But this insignificant event raised within him an unexpected fury. He cursed the poor root to withering, black perdition, cursed it deeply and sincerely, cursed it with all his soul." Gods, Alexander, I get it. Man, do I ever get it. I'm so tired.

page 177

"This was it, the nadir. It could not get any worse than this." You sure about that, kid? I think we've got one more scrape at the bottom of the barrel we can squeeze into."

page 181

Alexander is thiiiiiiiis close to snapping. Kid, I understand you. Critically and crucially, I understand.

page 183

FROG PRINCE. I told you there was one more level we could reach. The royal family gets transformed into animals rather frequently. At least this time he's not a snail, poor kid.

page 183

"With a sense of profound shock, he realized that he had been transformed into a frog--a rather large and handsome frog, it's true, but still a frog." You can't make this stuff up. This book is perfect. The ideal. The author is calling Alexander a handsome frog. He's a frog, but a good looking one. I can't handle this.

page 185

"Did you speak, Sir Frog?" "That's Prince Frog, to you." Alexander, be nice. Don't pull rank. I don't think you have rank to pull anymore. Smelly swamp rank, at best.

page 186

I like to think that was just Alexander swearing, but it was masked as a ribbit.

page 187

To be fully fair, Alex, you do kind of need him to reattach Graham's soul, so maybe it's for the best that he doesn't go far.

page 189

If I were a soul-armor, and this frog decided to enter the castle, to be honest, I think I would probably just let it. Because it's a frog.

page 194

There's fanart of this scene too because it's hilarious. She kisses a frog, he becomes a man hanging half over the rim of a fountain, and all she can say is "Goodness! But...you're beautiful." Ridiculous.

page 194

HA and then she tries to recover saying, "I haven't seen that many men in my life. Hardly any, actually. I'm sure that you're really very ordinary." Kid. Please, stop insulting him, you're going to make him sad(der than he already is)

page 198

It's at this point that Alexander just sort of gives in to the sass and the snark and starts leaning into the nonsense. "Creature?" "She's not entirely human." "Uh, in what way is she not human?" "To begin with, she has two heads, no hair, only three fingers on each hand, and is fully seven feet tall." "You're right. That doesn't sound entirely human." Pleeaaaaase this book is a deliiight.

page 200

That twilight area between wakefulness and sleep, with thoughts centered on nothing at all? my brain, today. fully. I've got nothing left to offer anyone, except not-very-funny remarks on this book.

page 202

Nothing Telgrin does is ever common. Overblown and ludicrous, maybe, but never ever common.

September 1, 2020 –

page 209

When the two headed guard calls to the intruding man like a person tempting a kitty cat. "Come here, man, pspspsps. Man, man, maaaan." Instead of catnip, she can bring tacos.

page 211

Again, I just gotta let you all know that the books have been misprinted. It's not a disembodied head floating in the orb, even if it's probably supposed to be an Owen's decapitated head parallel, because that's dumb. It's a tiny two-inch tall Graham floating in the orb, not just his face. I don't know how all the copies got misprinted like that, but they did. It's really a tiny Graham. Cute. Okay? Okay. Onward.

page 212

I love One Stubborn King.

page 216

I can't actually make snide jokes about the text when I'm actually just outright enjoying it. The sheer blissy silly triumph of Telgrin, the stubbornness and sharp agony of my dear sweet Graham, Alexander standing there ruminating on what loyalty means--this is exactly my flavor of fantasy jam.

September 17, 2020 –

page 225

I still kind of sort of love that Telgrin apparently decided that the best way to use the magic staff was to make it respond to wishes. "I wish for a giant fireball." And thus, one appears. It just...speaks to some strange childishness that I find totally hilarious in this big bad villain.

page 230

Again, the book is misprinted. I'm not about these weird Wizard of Oz style floating faces. They're weird. It's a fully bodied apparition of Telgrin yelling at Alexander, hands on hips, just as it's a tiny full bodied shape of Graham in the orb. My version is better.

page 231

"I could kill you now, if I wanted." "I don't think so," Alexander said defiantly. "Is *everyone* in Daventry this obstinate?" Sir. My dude. My man. Palberto. You messed with the wrong royal family, and they come from knight stock, not actually blue blood at all. They're going to *wreck* you.

page 232

"I'll live, I think." Alexander, your ability to comfort others leaves a little bit to be desired.

page 234

I'm not actually kidding. If Mills hadn't read Fellowship of the Ring at least a week or two before writing this, I will eat my whole entire adventuring cap. That's the Watcher in the Water, as there was literally lembas bread earlier and a ringwraith before that. Fantasy tropes or not, this is just sneaking Tolkien references in because Mills is a fanboy (I mean, obviously: he's writing company-approved fanfic).

page 237

Again, Alexander, realize this: Telgrin learned everything he knows from Owen. One might assume, especially knowing how dark those mirrors felt, that Owen himself is *not actually a very good guy.*

page 241

It's kind of like cheerfully presenting Sweeney Todd with his shaving tools. "At last, I am complete again!" Not.....super great, I feel.

page 242

I love that it's not actually magic keeping the castle moored, but a big ol' safety pin. That's not even actually much of an exaggeration. "At the bottom of that well you will find a large golden pin embedded in the paving stone. You are to remove this pin. It may not be easy, but you must do it. It will set the castle free from the moorings of the earth."

page 248

The fact that Telgrin now has to wear an eyepatch is great enough. The fact that he took the time to make sure it perched on "his bald head at a jaunty angle" is almost too much to bear. I hope he stood in front of his cracked and smoking mirror adjusting it just so before coming down for this final confrontation.

page 248

"I'll probably never see out of this eye again, I hope you're happy with yourself." "I mean...you *were* trying to kill me." "Irrelevant." Boys, please, there are serious issues at hand.

page 250

"All I've ever asked in return is that you marry me, and that you not burden me with your opinions." Telgrin, the ultimate flirt. Magnificent.

page 251

Telgrin's snarky sassy meltdown is the greatest. "She's now willing to marry me, merely to save your worthless life! Willingly! Well, I won't have it, I tell you. She shall marry me unwillingly, or not at all!" Telgrin, you are absolutely bonkers and you're my favorite villain in any piece of media ever, full stop. The sheer ridiculousness of *you* with your wish-magic and bloviating and grandiose posturing....divine.

page 253

Telgrin's pasty complexion is enough to "make a marble statue appear dark by comparison." If this were a modern AU, Telgrin would be that emo kid hunched over twitter mansplaining at everyone, while listening to the rainy mood app constantly. He's an absolute delight from start to finish, especially because he *is* a threat and he *could* win if he wasn't so obsessed with the *aesthetic* and the need to show off.

page 255

Ahh one of my favorite lines in the whole book: "It's blame-everything-on-Telgrin time, is it?" What villain talks like this?? Who does this?!! No one but Telgrin, author Craig Mills, and this goofy novelisation of the very sassy, very cliche, very delightful, King's Quest series. Fantasy tropes, sass, snark, and everything. This book is nothing but pure sugared joy for me.

page 266

No more than two feet of earth held the entire castle in place, and now they're floating away again like the house in Up. Delightful.

page 270

Telgrin, you can't behead someone who has already been beheaded. Be sensible.

page 273

"Can you think of any way for us to get down from [this steadily rising floating castle]?" "I could attempt to fly you down!" All in all, Alexander thought he would rather just jump. Boys, please.

page 288

A Valanice story, I think, would have been very welcome. I'm glad for the trilogy we got, but I really would have enjoyed an official novel from her perspective. This lonely image of her standing alone before the throne, with her husband dying in the next room and her son gone for at least a week to face an unknown villain alone, while her kingdom is ravaged by evil knights....it feels worth exploring.

page 291

I absolutely one thousand million percent love this strobing effect of two Grahams floating together, his transparent and delicate soul settling down into his body again. It's delightful.

page 292

Pleaaase Graham, say "A heart is a heavy burden." I know this book came out like a decade before the Howl's Moving Castle (the movie at least, I don't know the book's publication date), but pleaaaase. I know you won't, but I want you to.

page 293

SHRIEKING. I don't ever ship things, but this is my otp for liiiiiife look at these two precious beans together I'm just THRILLED the smile on my face is enormous ahhhh Valanice and Graham have hardly anything going for them in the original games since they hardly ever interact on screen but this book and this scene is just DELIGHTFUL.

September 17, 2020 – Finished Reading

Again, five stars out of five stars

#king's quest novels #king's quest #kings quest #cyril (king's quest)#alexander (king's quest)#theoretically i'm reading it for a 4th time this year but i haven't actually gone past page six so that's it for liveblogs of book one #for now anyway #maybe i'll add book 2 and book 3 too #i haven't read them nearly as many times they've never captured my attention like this one did #but they are still fun and it might be good to have everything contained here anyway

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spilledmilkfkdies · 1 year ago

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What do you think the wizards heights are? (Including Valtor if you cover him) 🙏

Okokok so the problem is that I am a supporter of making the wizards of the Black Circle tall, and I mean Tall, Dark Souls bosses type of tall- But y'know what's stopping me? The thought I could never fit them into a car. Mhm.

I mean, not just that, kinda, more like 'how would they function in a normal setting and could they live under humans like that', because apparently that matters to me. Even if the thought of them having gone "so far off the deep end" that they just don't fit in with humans anymore after everything is a little delicious as well. Basically, I would make them unreasonably tall if I cared like 20% less about normalcy. That being said? Here are some rough height estimates I'm thinking off, in no particular order-

Starting out with Gantlos because I simply will not shut up about how I think he should be a big lad, the biggest, even. The actual reason for that though is like, y'know how in Resident Evil Village you have Lady Dimitrescu ends sentence there and the way she has to bend down to go through some doors? That has altered my brain in a normal way. I am normal. Now I'm not saying Gantlos is that tall, as previously mentioned, sort of. But having to duck just a little bit when going through the average door? I'm not above doing that. Sorry. I think that would put him lightly above 7ft (well over 2m). Was he always that tall? Probably not. Is it doable? Eh, it's what I'm leaning towards right now, that's usually how it goes.

Paragraph over! Moving on to Ogron!! I was considering making him the shortest, you can disagree and be happy I changed my mind, you can be disappointed too- That man wears heels either way, so it's whatever no it's not I still think about him being the shortest sometimes. What position is he in right now? Um middle. Yeah. Like obviously, I guess, but I'll explain why it's a little confusing in a bit, let's say he's somewhere 6'4ft (1.93m) and 6'7ft (about 2m) maybe?? Pulling these numbers out of my ass don't even worry about it-

Now here's where I start making things really complicated for myself for no reason fr! Because!! Duman's height is all over the place. I don't just mean this in a way where sometimes he's literally a rat or bear with those matching heights- The height of his own form also just. Depends on his mood?? There's days where he's the shortest and days where he isn't. Rarely below 6ft (1.83m), never taller than Gantlos (Dumanic bat form not included, that shit is Large, but currently also unspecified). It just be like that sometimes. Any specific reason why I forced that onto him? Nuh uh definitely not.

Basically, Anagan is left as the shortest whenever Duman isn't. That's what we're going with rn. That's where we're at. He's not short though, just compared to the others ig? Put him next to the average man and he still has a couple of inches probably maybe- Are you starting to notice that I know very little about height because I feel like that seed had been planted in the first few sentences already.

Am I legally allowed to speak on Valtor's height? Will I be hunted for sport if I put a take out there that's not appreciated? Taking the absolute coward way out and saying I think he'd be shorter than Ogron, but above Anagan? His demon form is bigger than Duman's though, so there's that. Cough.

Will I be sticking to the order of this? Who knows! The actual numbers I did specify? Highly doubt it! But for now let's put it like, tallest to shortest:

Valtor demon form >> Duman demon form >> Gantlos >> Could be Duman >> Ogron >> Could also be Duman >> Valtor >> Duman again >> Anagan >> Duman sometimes

Okay that's all bye

#been a while since i just threw a bunch of rambly thoughts on here #i'm behind on asks but do NOT let that stop you from sending them #i'll get to it all eventually besties #sorry for the wait #this nearly killed me btw #in case you were wondering #humongous answer with vague actual heights #take it or leave it #winx club #winx headcanons #winx villains #winx valtor #wizards of the black circle #winx ogron #winx gantlos #winx anagan #winx duman #answered ask

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alovesreading · 1 year ago

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sooo excited for cr can we get a teaser pretty please?🥹

of course anon!! im disgustingly hungover rn so i hope your reactions to this bit give me enough energy to push through getting the moodboard done i would say to proofread as well but i genuinely am dead rn

anyway! here’s the teaser, enjoy 🫣🤭 (it's two bits from separate scenes but i thought you deserved the treat after waiting so long)

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads’ crew to take a picture of them all.

She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.

When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.

She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.

There wasn’t even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he’d just done.

A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she’d love.

“How do I look?” Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.

“Like you were meant to be a cowboy.” She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.

Not that it wasn’t obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, “Do I?”

Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn’t come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.

Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn’t need to be fixed, Ella hummed, “Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots.” Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, “Though those chelsea boots you’ve got on work well.”

Alex couldn’t bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, “Right, stop flirting with me.”

In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn’t a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, “I’m not–” that she interrupted to just tell him to “Shut up!” as she playfully shoved him away from her.

“Joking! I’m joking!” He said loudly in between laughter, she didn’t want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn’t get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.

Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.

Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, “You can flirt with me all you want.”

Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.

Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy?” Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly’s arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.

Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, “Ladies, you’ll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight.”

Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance’s waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, “Think that’s already arranged, no?”

But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. “Have fun!” She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.

The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl’s wanted before leaving the table they’d chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.

A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie’s cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife’s drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.

“Sorry man, didn’t know she was with someone.” The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie’s head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model’s ring finger.

Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie’s. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, “S’alright, now you know.”

The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.

Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.

When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie’s attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy’s back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, “They’re fast so go on placing those hats on your girls.”

It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads’ panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.

Tonight is promising.

Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, “Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now.”

But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, “Don’t think so.” just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella’s.

Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, “Good choice, sweets.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

i know they're short but i can't share much more without giving it away so i hope this can get you excited for what's to come.

if you want another little teaser though, i would highly suggest going on youtube and watching this (keep and eye out for what happens around minute 1:34) think you can imagine how Ella felt with that Arabella performance 👀👀👀

anyway pray for me to power through this fucking hangover and i'll see you guys with this chapter very very soon (hopefully monday!!!) mwahh love yous xx

#A’s asks #Constant Repeat asks

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lumiereandcogsworth · 8 months ago

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that baseball ask you sent (which I'm answering rn :3) made me wonder if Belle or Adam or any of their kiddos ever play sports? or enjoy any? 👁️

FUN QUESTION YAY!!! i am going to divide it between canon and modern au because i think about BOTH.

CANON:

adam: he… does not like exercise at all. he got teased a lot as young lad for preferring to sit in the shade (or inside) and read during recreational time, rather than joining the other boys in activities. now, i did a bit of digging, and actually at this point in time, france wasn’t a very sporty place. they were much more into the ✨intellectualism✨ of it all. and sports were rough and grimy. blegh! even still, the upper class (i.e. where Prince Adam would be hanging, if you can believe it) had lots of tennis, fencing, and equestrian things. i think adam liked Watching equestrian races/obstacle courses/polo matches, (and probably(definitely) developed crushes on some jockeys) but wasn’t super interested in Doing those things. he preferred to just ride horses freely, not so much for challenge’s sake. but he loves horses a lot so watching them was fun for him :3 anyway, he hated tennis because there’s way too much running and coordination involved and you’re usually just standing directly in the sun. disgusting. even if it was indoors it’s too SWEATYYY. BUT! i do think he enjoyed fencing a lot! he sees it as less exerting (though it is) and more of an art form to master. and he was pretty good at it! which was a nice confidence boost. i have a fic that’s a few years old but it’s when adam & belle are still courting and they FENCE!! it’s incredibly adorable. here it is

belle: ACTIVE ADVENTURE GIRL WHO RAN LIKE A MILE AFTER GASTON PROPOSED TO HER????? hell yeah she sports. like i said though, “sports” weren’t much of a thing. and especially since she didn’t have any friends to play with :( BUT i absolutely think that her and maurice would toss/kick a ball back and forth of SOME kind. you can’t convince me otherwise. she always wanted to be outside!! and maurice was with her much of the time!! so i think they played catch. i also hc that he taught her how to swim in the river that flows past the village, and i think she’d enjoy swimming A LOT. when she learns about mermaids she loses her freaking mind and wishes on stars to become one. but anyway, she was as sporty as a french 18th century village girl could be!! she climbed trees constantly (definitely has lots of little scars like giselle!!) and loved to RUN ! she just had (and still has) So Much Energy. she also just made up a lot of silly games that requires running between trees and making her own obstacle courses. and as an adult, as QUEEN! i think she enjoys tennis and plays with either her kiddos or her ladies in waiting. (or just anyone. i could see her being like “hello sir we need to figure out this business thing. shall we discuss over a game of tennis?” and he’s just like ??? okay ?? your majesty ???????)

renée: SPEAKING OF ENERGY! little renée is just like her mama. loves running and jumping and climbing!!!! but a major difference is they grew up in entirely different stations!! when renée grows older she gets REALLY into polo and maybe even equestrian obstacle courses - though idk the policies on women doing that stuff at that point >:/ but she’s the princess royal so fuck you. anyway she also enjoyed fencing and tennis when she went to university. (i don’t think she was super good at either of them but… she does her best) she’s just such a horse girl !! so that’s where she shined. (her & adam sometimes go to horse races/shows together,,, bonding time. i’m sure belle joins a lot too but she’s BUSY and adam is more willing to play hooky from work, lmao)

juliette: not really a sports girlie. she loves running around and playing with her siblings !! but she wasn’t as brave in terms of climbing trees, and she was afraid of horses until she was like, 8 (and even then, she’d only ride with adam or belle). i think her favorite way to be active is either going on walks or swimming :)

maurice: little reecy is much like his mama too, just chaos and running and climbing. he has fun swimming too. he also likes to WRESTLE even though he’s not all that muscular. he and his best friend xavier, since they were toddlers, simply attack each other for fun. (maurice also likes picking play fights with adam, and adam’s always like sON PLEASE— but maurice has already tackled him onto the bed or sofa adjskd) anyway i think it would be so funny if he just absolutely DOMINATED in tennis when he goes to university. like just an absolute legend. they put his name on the plaque in the trophy hall and everything. and what’s so annoying is he doesn’t even care about it that much. he’s just having fun and making friends. he’s one of those people that is naturally good at a lot of things… very annoying but he’s so charming and sweet that you don’t even care 😮‍💨

(oh and, obviously, all the kids are WELL verses in many many many different dances. just comes with the 18th century royal territory ✨ they all took classes and they all enjoyed it to varying degrees!)

okay, MODERN AU!

adam: once again, sports were not his vibe. PE class was a damn nightmare for every possible reason. later on when he’s with belle, she Tries to take him on runs or at least to do some yoga or something. and he just hates it man😭 “why must you TORTURE ME” but then it always bites him in the ass later because he’ll be groaning from aging and being randomly sore and belle’s like “if only you stretched!😌☕️” and he’s just like 😒

belle: sooo sporty as a kid, i can’t even decide if she had a favorite. soccer basketball softball volleyball track cross country tennis lacrosse swim team ?? i think she’d enjoy basketball and soccer most, just because they’re the most stimulating and active. but she really did enjoy trying all of them!!! i think cross country was also lovely for her bc she could just run and THINK! in college she probably took a lot of fitness classes (i took kickboxing and spin, which she Definitely would too) and just be at the rec center as much as she could (which unfortunately wouldn’t be much, since she was doing two majors and So Busy). and as an adult she probably is always doing some kind of fitness class, as well as going to gyms to swim! and going on runs when the weather is nice (the runs make adam uneasy because WHAT IF SOMEONE KIDNAPS YOU!!!! so she’s like 🙄 and turns on location on her phone so he can check if it’s been Too Long. also he makes her carry pepper spray. the man worries Okay) anyway she’s always doin somethin <3

renée: again, like belle, she tried lots of sports!! not as many as her mama, but lots. she also did dance/ballet for many years. like from toddler age to maybe 10 or 11 or so. and that took a lot of her time, but she still somehow found a way to try other sports too. i think of the ones she tried she probably liked volleyball the most. and it’s the only one she did in high school. (she focused more on academic stuff anyway, so one sport was satisfactory). she’s still a horsegirl in modern au though and, given their financial capabilities, she probably did horse stuff on the side like polo. i think she always wanted her own horse but it was never realistic, she focused more on other things and couldn’t devote her time to it. but she definitely complained about it A LOT when she was younger. looking back as an adult though she’s glad she didn’t Have A Horse to care for still. she had her favorites at the ranch she’d go to and that was good enough!

juliette: still not a sports girlie! lmao. PE was Also a damn nightmare 😭 but she did ballet with renée for a handful of years as well, and i think she liked taking swim classes, so adam & belle found some kind of swim team club thing for her to join that was less intense than school competitions. (which Really helped her get a tad better at socializing !! but still always a struggle for her 😞) anyway i think she still swims sometimes in college, but is much more focused on school and being in the orchestra (we got a violin prodigy over here!!!!) so it’s less and less. but as an adult she walks and such. whenever her & renée can meet and catch up, they go on long walks together :”3 and sometimes horseback riding !

maurice: okay reecy ALSO did ballet as a kid, just like his sisters, but he only did it a few years because he got Really Into Baseball !!!!! so he traded his dancing shoes for CLEATS! i think he did other sports too, soccer, track, maybe even tennis to be reminiscent of his 18th century counterpart, but baseball is his love. he may even play in college, perhaps! as an adult i can totally see him being the baseball couch for his nieces/nephews/kids later on. i think he’d enjoy that a lot :”3 AND he’d also be really into hiking. he’d wanna be all “into the wild” and go on a solo hike somewhere lesser known but adam 1000% forbid it. “that boy was an idiot. you’re not doing that.” and maurice says “DAD! don’t speak ill of the DEAD!” and adam goes “my point entirely😮‍💨” but anyway reece obeys and only goes on hikes with groups of friends and in Relatively Known Areas🙄. he even drags his family on a hike every now and then when they’re all adults! only belle and his partner eloise really enjoy it with him 💔 reecy & belle prob do (VERY CUTE) mother-son hikes sometimes though!!!!!🥹

#EEEEEEEEEEE :)))))#sorry i talked so much but AH!#i couldn’t Not include modern au. i think about that universe A Lot #anyway thank you🥰🥰🥰#alex tag #answered #batb 2017 #batb headcanons #adelle #modern au adelle #oc writing #adam #belle #renée #juliette #maurice

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rotzaprachim · 2 years ago

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happy saturday besties! I’ve been working on my nina/helnik Hell Fic (tm) for a year now and felt. like i needed to have at least some of it up, for public record, for my own personal accountability that this is a body of words that exists in some fashion aside from in my head. (we’re clocking at about 60k rn and no where near finished.) so enjoy this spoiler-tastic, rough and marked-up section from square in the middle, which I slammed out in an afternoon while on an essay crisis and which convinced me there was an interesting story here I actually wanted to tell. TW for this being based on a YA novel, but very very adult in a lot of themes and implications

They stopped to eat the lunch Gudrun wrapped for them in waxed brown paper. Brown bread slathered thickly with fat and some oily, salty fish that filled Nina with the gloriously human smell of smoke. She had handfulls of dried berries in her pockets and dried lamb in her pack and she did not wish to think of the fact that here she was living of enemy kindnesses. They ate in silence and then dipped quickly into the water they melted down in the morning. Nina carefully licked all the crumbs from her greased fingers. “We need to talk,” she says. “We need to move so that we don’t turn cold,” Matthias said. He pulled himself to his feet and started to walk in his long, bow-legged strides, leaving Nina sputtering over her own feet to catch up. Her shawl flapped about her shoulders with a surprising degree of noise and stinging force. “Wait, wait,- oh for fuck’s sake, Lars.” This caused him to pause, at least momentarily, and look at her. “Do you always try to run when people want to talk to you? Honestly, Djel only knows why you still haven’t a wife.” “Mmph,” grunted the king of social graces. “What we’re going to do, mister, is walk through who Lars Solverson is.” “Why aren’t we doing this for Mila Jandersdat?” “Because Mila Jandersdat is a real fucking person already. This isn’t even my country and Mila Jandersdat’s not the problem.” “You… you made her up.” “And?” “She isn’t real.” Nina shrugged her shoulders. As if that mattered a whit.

“Go on, then. Ask Mila anything. Make polite conversation with Mila. Interrogate her, if you wish.” He thought for a moment. It was probably very taxing on him to use every one of his five brain cells. “What is Mila’s… favorite color?” “Pink.” He nodded squarely, satisfied. “Go on then, ask another.” “What is Mila’s favorite supper?” “Stewed elk and putrified shark. But if neither presents itself, I am more than satisfied with cold blueberry soup, with cream.” “A woman of good Fjerdan tastes,” he says appreciatively before suddenly pausing. “Wait-“ She smiles sweetly and batts her eyelashes. Bless the poor lad, although he’s becoming quickly keener to her devious nature. She hopes he doesn’t get too quick-witted, though, or else she’ll loose the best craic she’s got immediate access to, fucking around with the motherfucker who’se never been fucked. “Is every question you ask Mila going to be so dull? Does Mila have no hobbies or desires?” His eyes immediately flick away from her face. “A Fjerdan man with any sense of decency would never ask an unmarried woman he does not know such things. An unmarried Fjerdan girl would not even think of such things to begin with.” “Indeed. But Mila Jandersdat has not in a near decade’s time been an unmarried woman, and Lars knows her very well.” “Why-“ “Go on. Make it a question for Mila.” “Where is your [hejmland], Mila?” “A [vik] of medium size, downriver from the centerlands.” Matthias flinches, and Nina smiles inwardly at what a job she’d done with placing his accent. “Mila is just a simple farming girl. Her family grew potatoes and sugar beets, and fished, and had a cow called Rose-Maret who it was Mila’s job to take to the out-pasture with two or three of the younger brothers and sisters.” He weighed the story as rounded another snow-packed crest. Guðrún had given them extensive directions towards the next vik which Nina had understood none of and was now again reliant on the in no way tender mercies of Matthias’s navigational skills. “If Mila had such a humble origin, then why does she speak and write in Fjerdan like the Djerholm [gentry?]” Nina’s mind went blank. Every time Matthias revealed a brain under all that muscle, it was a more unpleasant surprise than anything. “Mila’s mother did laundry and washing in the house of the strong-holders such that Mila be taught something of arithmetic and geography, for Mila has so clever a child as learnt by heart the entire [Djelsprayer] hornbook at the tender age of eight, so wickedly clever is this woman Mila Jandersdat.” “And so dainty and humble as well.” “Indeead, the strong-holder’s wife became so taken by the wit and charms of Mila Jandersdat that she became very dear to the old woman, such that with no daughter and the all the sons gone off to war, she began to think of Mila as something of a niece and taught her what she knew of pincushion-embroidery and delicately plucking “Onward Fjerdan Soldiers” on the mandolin.” At this Matthias guffawed loudly. “And what of it?” “Mila would never sweetly play anything, let alone the mandolin.” Nina pursed her lips, suddenly shockingly cross at how this doltish soldier without an ounce of good culture to his name was judging the ladylike refinements of Mila Jandersdat. “Mila is a delicate Fjerdan flower.” At this Matthias guffawed still louder. It was a sound that shook his whole body and that she might have liked to hear more of if it had not been directed at her. “Mila may be a treacherously beautiful woman, but she is no delicate flower. She’s like the lurid blue wood-lichen that makes the bread-flour last a winter or else the arctic heather that nothing can stop from growing, not even the frost.” “All of this you know of Mila,” she huffed. “As you said, Lars know her very well.” In this way it continued. It gave them both something to do that felt like a more acceptable category of treason. In falling grey evenings and around campfires Lars and Mila came to increasingly fleshed life, and by laughing about it Nina could do what she’d always done when faced with the dizzyingly difficult, which was treat the task as a game. Mila Jandersdat was a woman of clever wits and a few human foibles for which she was all the more charming. She could dance a reel and tell a dirty joke and won blue ribbons for her cloudberry jam recipe. She was a big sister to all and the sort of friend with whom one might uncork a bottle of currant wine for a long chat in order to feel better about the world. “A good Fjerdan woman would not drink wine or brandy, or that which contains such spirits as may possess a soul.” “A bottle of honeywater,” Nina corrected herself, glaring. She assumed this would mollify him, but he then elaborated, “neither would she have the coin to buy such strong drink.” “Fine. Mila Jandersdat always has coffee and something sweet and a good bit of conversation for the guest who may darken her doorframe. There’s bread dough rising on the counter and some cider cake under a dome to keep the flies out and there’s a pie cooling on the windowsill with the fluttering lace curtains. There are always good things for the unexpected stranger to eat. And no one in Mila’s household is ever hungry. No one.” Her mouth felt dry. She huffed in breath. “What a marvel of feminine hospitality is Mila Jandersdat! What a wife does Lars have!” “A good Fjerdan housewife would never waste so much pay on sugar and trifles.” “Would not Lars the good Fjerdan husband provide for his wife so as to keep her in comfort?” And so it went. The found the next farm stead, and the one after, and worked several days in each place at the weaving and haying in exchange for a pile of gloriously warm blankets on the floor and the Kvöldvaka light. Everywhere it was immeidately known how they were breaking the most clear-cut of wartime laws and ever time the wordlessly provided excuse was understood in full sympathy and some variety of spell, prayer, or enchantment was cast upon Mila’s womb so that it may take her husband’s seed and bear his family fruit. “Maybe Lars has a low sperm count,” she groused as they walked off. The housemistress told them they had at least another week through the blackrock but that there would not be more than a lone overnight camping between farmsteads and Nina breathed a sigh of relief before realising that meant trading the danger of open landscape for the more specific domestic dangers of the people that wanted to burn her kind to ashes. “Lars does not have a- what that is,” Matthias said defensively, before more trepiditiously asking, “what is that?” “You’re not ready.” According to Matthias’s fictions, Lars Sølverson was pious, self-sufficient, sturdy, moral, dependable, reliable, and altogether decent. He provided for his wife in way that was comfortable and yet economically prudent as befits the sort of upstanding man who is not in debt and neither will pass on a debt to his children. He did not partake of strong drink. His eyes did not wanter off to strange women, and as such he had not brought home diseases of an indiscrete nature or begotten any bastards, He always did a day’s honest work except for on Djel’s Day, which he spent in prayer and fellowship. He was well-liked among men. “How lucky was Mila to have found such a man,” said Nina before she belatedly remembered that the word she had used did not mean “lucky” so much as “blessed.” “Every well-suited match is a blessing from Djel, but Mila was not particularly singular, for that is the sort of Fjerdan man who can be found in any farm, or meeting-house, or regiment-camp. There is nothing (unique) about Lars being an upstanding and morals-driven Fjerdan man.” {INSERT BRIDGE-EXPLANATION OF HOW LARS AND MILA MET)

“Her brother wanted to marry her to a blacksmith whose work shoeing carriage horses meant there would always be bread on her plate and fire enough to keep her warm in th, e winter, and what man in Fjerda could offer her more? The blacksmith had a braying, crass way of speaking about “his woman,” and he looked at her a if she was a dressed leg of lamb, but her children would likely never be too hungry nor too cold. And so she was happy with her lot as she might be, and one day was buying new dress-hooks to fix her mother’s wedding dress when she saw him walking in the marketplace, and wanted him.” “So he knocked upon her father’s door-“ Matthias tried to jab in sideways. “So he made her a wedding ring of dentist’s gold and they ran off into the night.” “Lars would never have ruined her like that.” “Mila Jandersdat is a woman, not a broken platter. She isn’t ruined.” “He would never have broken her honour in front of her family or her community so that she could never have returned home. Lars knew a woman worth more than rubies what he saw one, even staring boldly-“ “I was not staring boldly! I was making eyes in a lavicious, untoward manner-“ “So he asked of her name, and learned it was Mila Jandersdat. That very evening he knocked at her father’s door. He was invited to dinner as any a wandering soul might be. He dined with her family three times before he was left alone with her and before the courting could begin. He took her father to meet his and see the sort of place he would have to his name and if were a godly sort of people he had come from.” “Mila’s mother and sisters dug through the scraps bin to start the Hringsa quilt,” she said. They would have taken the drinking glasses and candlesticks off of the dining table to pin out the little pieced-out triangles into the trunk and roots and leaves of the Tree of Life, and then they would have stitched it together in a winter’s worth of Kvöldvaka [Kvoldvakar?] after they’d done their National Service, spinning from their own sheep the sails of druskelle ships. Mila cut into strips the nut-brown tablecloth to make the trunk of her tree, for the living, and unravelled her too-small childhood mittens into the yarn with which stitched a spinning fractal of strong roots for the ancestors. She cut up her own baby blanket for the good green cloth with which to stitch the leaves. When it was done Mila folded the blanket and put it into the carved wooden chest of her bridal troseau and when she and her mother unfolded it over her marriage bed on the morning of her wedding, it would have been a sort of marking of territory. A national flag for a different sort of nation. And in the evening, jittered from cake and nerves, Mila would have run her index finger over the sturdy interfitting of triangles- the blue calico of her aunt’s apron, the red triangle of her other’s kirk shawl- while she waited on the bed for her husband to come in from the party, and have her. Lars and Mila fucked on that quilt. When she pinned the thing on the line to air out during the spring cleaning and everyone passing by could see, it was also a sort of declaration. When a fortnight after her marriage she woke to find her belly cramping and blood sticking to the insides of her thighs, she cried. As she rubbed out the stains with baking soda and river water she thanked Djel there was no child yet twisting inside of her. When five years on she did the same, she railed against her wretchedness, her godless condition, because that was an easier thing to stomache than the notion that the All-Source of All-Water had closed her womb in punishment for her sinful being. {insert something to return back to main narrative} Nina looked up, which was somehow a struggle. Mila was the full rushing force of a tidal wave pulling her under the water. She was as real as anything. “He must have loved her a lot,” she said, her tongue heavy. “To keep her as his wife. Mila. Lars’s wife. After eight years and no sons unto his name.” [Lars was not real. Lars was as real as the cardboard cutouts Kerch pleasure-piers stuck outside bordellos to advertise the enticements inside. Nina did want to think about what you’d find if you tipped Lars over.] “No honorable man would leave a woman he had made his wife to the cold like that.” Nina shrugged. “Even if she slept in his bed and ate his bread off his hard earned soldier’s wage and gave him no issue?” Matthias’s fingers worried at the hem of his trousers. He did not want to talk about this, she supposed. He wanted to talk about this more than anything. “Only a cruel man would blame the hand of Djel upon a woman.” “Then we live in a world full of cruel men.” All of the breached babies and ectopic pregnancies and angry, angry husbands. Sometimes it felt like more of a battle to serve in the domestic wards than it had been to dig out bullets from shoulders a half-hour from the front line. And more direct threats on her life, besides. Everyone knew that witches killed babies, and baked cakes from their blood, and cursed them to be born early, and quickened women with seven at home already and too-eager husbands, and everyone knew that witches turned sons to daughters with the flick of a wrist and a few esoteric sayings. Everyone knew. Matthias looked into Nina’s eyes. He did not try to tell her that Fjerdan men were not cruel. Not even the honorable Fjerdan men.

#A hartz iz nisht kein meleks trone #hell fic #nina zenik #matthias helvar #i would have your ghost #my writing #it's at like ....2.5 k for this section but 60k overall and this section relies on some longer running plot threads and themes #undercover work tee hee #if it clarifies and or spoils everything: one of the key insert themes of the fic is that nina and matthias went undercover as an ordinary #fjerdan couple during the endless ice hike so there's pretending to be married drama

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ybcpatrick · 3 years ago

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i was by @nerdangels thank u amanda i am holding ur hand rn <3333

1- why did you choose your url?

he's my boy. my fucking lad. my DUDE. my little guy. he is me and i am him. i was blessed by the whoevers to have snagged this url

2- any side blogs?

TOO MANY, BRO. i have a wrestling blog, a supernatural blog, a muppets blog, a poetry blog, a nostalgia blog, and an archive for the post!ybc au (which isn't dead, i promise, im so sorry to all the anons in my inbox i love you im just so tired all the ike akskajdskjf)

3- how long have you been on tumblr?

that april fools joke blog from a couple years ago says i joined on february 22nd, 2014. but, i did have another account before this one, so i'll just loosely say mid-2013 for that one

4- do you have a queue tag?

i've tried keeping a queue soooo many times but honestly i am just like. not the sort of person to use one lol. if i'm online you'll know it, if i'm not i'm not

5- why did you start your blog in the first place?

because i needed somewhere to get all the danny phantom stuff out of my system

6- why did you choose your icon/pfp?

bc he's ybcpatrick. i am Also ybcpatrick.

7- why did you choose your header?

oh it's still my halloween theme lmao, haven't had time to make a new one. my headers are just chosen to match my themes, i loooove makin pretty themes

8- what's your post with the most notes?

that GODDAMNED green day post. im too lazy to grab it rn but it's got over 100k notes. if u follow me u have seen it

9- how many mutuals do you have?

y'all are keeping track? ajdjejfjwuri i have lots of friends on here but idk how many

10- how many followers do you have?

1239 at the moment

11- how many people do you follow?

354!

12- have you ever made a shitpost?

babygirl that's all i do that's all i'm here for

13- how often do you use tumblr each day?

i will close tumblr and then by muscle memory i will open it again immediately. hotel california

14- did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

never with an actual person, but anons try to start shit with me REGULARLY. back in the day, some anon tried to accuse me of pretending to be canadian because i made one (1) post about liking the tragically hip. like HELLO?

15- how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

don't guilt people into reblogging shit; furthermore, even if it is important, tacking a "yOu NeEd To" onto your reblog is a surefire way to get everyone else to ignore it out of spite lmfao

16- do you like tag games?

YEAHHH i love them so muuuuch please tag me in anything and everything i don't care if we're mutuals i don't care if it doesn't seem applicable to me please. tag. me. anyways.

17- do you like ask games?

ALSO YEAHHH but i'm terrible at remembering that i reblogged one, so then i'll get distracted and forget to answer them in a timely fashion ajskajdwkndme

18- which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

bro i don't KNOW. possibly some of the fic authors? or some of my bandom mutuals? one of my mutuals (who doesn't have many interests in common with me so idk why she's still here but i think she's super fuckin cool) is probably "tumblr famous" bc like. all her posts get notes?

i think tumblr is great just bc you have NO IDEA who's "famous" and who's not. like, unless ur mutuals with fuckin setheverman or pukicho, it's just a mystery

19- do you have a crush on a mutual?

........i liked her long before we were mutuals and i'll say nothing fucking else thanks

tagging: @sleeping-dead-dying-sleep @greatesthitz @residentjoth @lunathemacron @softnsquishable @ibidflash and litchrally anyone else who wants to!!

#shut up kell #tag games #this was FUN!

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tractorbeamofwoe · 3 years ago

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heyyy feeling kinda bored being alone at home rn so i'm gonna drop some q's if that's ok with you haha

1. what's your ranking for catb albums?

2. fav catb performance?

3. top 3 fav lyrics from catb and inhaler?

4. top 3 bands you love other than catb & inhaler?

5. this one's kinda personal but i was wondering if you're studying music? or maybe doing sth related to music? cuz i kinda get the impression that you can sing well haha!

cheers and have a lovely day! x

Ahhhh I feel you anon. I still have one more day left of isolation so this is just as interesting for me as it is for you haha 😭

Okay so catb albums. The Balcony would be at number 1 however it gets 2nd place because it’s Billy and not Bondy. The Balance is my fave Catb album which is ironic because I used to hate it haha. And then in 3rd I’m gonna say The Ride only because I don’t tend to listen to it in full very often but also because it has Emily on it and Emily is my least fave catb song 💀💀

If I think about my fave catb performance too hard I won’t be able to decide so I’m just going to say straight off the bat TRNSMT 2019. I never usually find myself rewatching festival sets but that’s one that I could watch over and over and over again and fall in love with it more every time. The set list was perfect and they all looked so good! 👀

lyrics is so difficult man 😭 like I could straight up just say the entirety of Hourglass and Anything but that would be cheating

1. “She hates her work but loves to flirt, it’s a shame she don’t work with me”

2. “I left recording finishing the same hook I was singing when we come in from dinner“

3. “I’d rather go blind than let you down”

and for Inhaler

1. “It won’t always be like this”

2. “you’re not on your own”

3. “Darling I’m in love with you”

(kinda simple ones but they mean a lot to me 🙂)

Okay well other than catb and Inhaler I love all of Bondy’s old bands and his mates’ bands so like Detroit Social Club, Symphonic Pictures, Them Things, Jango Flash

But I bang on about that lot all the time so minus them, I’d say my three favourite bands would be...

The 1975 (had a massive 1975 phase a few years ago, not so much now but I still vibe with the music) 5 Seconds of Summer (seeing them live fingers crossed next year 😁) and i’m sorta getting more into Blossoms lately and they’re lovely lads so they’ve won my heart haha.

That’s so funny you say that because I am a music student yeah! I think I’ve only mentioned it a couple times on here but I absolutely love it. And omg anon you’re too nice cause singing is my area of expertise 🥺❤️ I definitely want a job in the music industry. I mean I wanna be a musician but I’ll be happy if I can work somewhere musicy for the time being while I get everything worked out haha. There was a brief period of time where I considered being a music teacher but I just don’t think it’s my thing 💀💀

#Sorry I rambled on for a really long time 💀

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years ago

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Ruby & Cosmo

Ruby: Dying to know is every date colour coded? ❤️

Cosmo: Oh, God 😅 How unintentionally cringe

Cosmo: That sums up how well it went, sadly

Ruby: the quick reply had me thinking you were back early or answering in the middle of dinner

Cosmo: 🤫

Cosmo: I’d never!

Cosmo: It was a favour and I think that showed

Cosmo: She’s my cousin’s friend and just got dumped, sweet girl but perhaps not ready to be great company

Ruby: explains the 🌹

Cosmo: Not very personal or too basic?

Ruby: a nice try if it was your first date ever but I know it’s not

Cosmo: Thank God I didn’t get another bouquet 😏

Cosmo: They weren’t buy one get one free though, before you say

Ruby: they looked expensive

Ruby: she would’ve felt guilty throwing them back in your face

Cosmo: I told you I weren’t texting under the table, why would she need to?

Ruby: you told me why, they’re impersonal & basic

Ruby: & heartbreak makes you unhinged

Cosmo: I wouldn’t call her unhinged

Cosmo: at least not to her face, right

Ruby: 😅

Ruby: or your cousin’s

Ruby: Are you staying out in town or going home to change?

Cosmo: I don’t fancy showing up in the club in this

Cosmo: never mind hearing what my friends would have to say

Cosmo: What are you up to?

Ruby: the VIP area has seen worse, you don’t look like you raided the Gucci sale rail, eyes closed

Ruby: & your friends have worn worse, but I won’t say it to their faces

Ruby: I’m waiting for my own friends to be done making their own questionable outfit choices as usual

Cosmo: Careful, that was almost a compliment and not just a drag of the lads

Cosmo: not undeserved on their end but what did I do to make you decide to be nice to me?

Cosmo: besides entertain you with my dating woes whilst they redo their makeup, again

Ruby: You know how to dress, it’s a fact

Ruby: & I didn’t decide to be nice, it just happened

Cosmo: Not that you’re not usually nice in general

Cosmo: but here I am, feeling special, like 💖🤩

Cosmo: It’s also a fact, though not an impressive one, that I’m not lame enough to go in for that negging bullshit, so whatever I end up doing, calling you a bitch ain’t on the agenda

Ruby: there you were down in the dumps about your disaster date, I thought I’d try to help

Ruby: I wouldn’t, it only works for Mason when everyone’s too busy watching his feet move to care about his mouth & that’s not the audience you’ve got atm

Cosmo: I think I’ll survive

Cosmo: but I appreciate it

Cosmo: I’ve seen him get in trouble for his mouth plenty of times on the pitch

Cosmo: but referees aren’t ones to be sweet-talked so…

Ruby: your expensive roses are wasted on them 🥀

Cosmo: That is the real tragedy 💔

Cosmo: I reckon 🍷 could work on your dad though, whaddya think?

Ruby: aren’t we beyond bribes? I thought we were

Cosmo: You don’t have to go up for contract renewals

Cosmo: but I was joking, so don’t tell him he’s on a promise there

Ruby: oh yeah, it’s a joke you being worried you won’t get renewed

Ruby: he doesn’t shut up about you after a few 🍷’s with your dad

Cosmo: Sorry you’ve had to witness/hear that

Cosmo: can’t help my case

Ruby: it wouldn’t be realistic to entertain you or let you entertain me if he wasn’t on board

Cosmo: No?

Ruby: secrecy & sneaking around would be impossible unless we could both drop what we were doing at a moment’s notice, which we can’t

Cosmo: True

Cosmo: Neither of us has the time for that

Ruby: or the anonymity

Cosmo: You aren’t wrong

Ruby: 💖🤩 back at me?

Ruby: you’re being agreeable, above & beyond the Sunday roast standard you set when everyone was listening in

Cosmo: Agreeable from you I can take

Cosmo: I didn’t know any of you guys were going to be there, so if I wasn’t on top form

Cosmo: I’d love to have a second chance to do it better, of course

Cosmo: Somewhere more exciting than family dinner

Cosmo: and no impersonal and basic 🌹s

Ruby: I’d love to skip the club tonight, it stopped being exciting forever ago

Ruby: there’s your chance

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: I’ll make something happen and I’ll send you the place and the dress code

Ruby: pastel colours wash me out

Cosmo: What kind of place would be pastels only? 🤔

Ruby: [name drop somewhere boujee that you’ve been probably with your mum and godmother lol]

Ruby: you wasted the ❤️ on the wrong girl 💔

Cosmo: She wasn’t wearing red

Ruby: it was never going to work out

Cosmo: That might be for the best

Ruby: tbd

Ruby: but I’m not feeling like I’ll cry or talk about any of my exes so it’ll be better for you

Cosmo: And for you

Cosmo: not that you’re letting me be impressive with a bar that low but you know

Ruby: you’ll get over or under it if you want to

Cosmo: If I couldn’t rise to the occasion your dad definitely wouldn’t stand for it

Ruby: I won’t either

Cosmo: tbd

Cosmo: I heard

Ruby: another girl has beat me to denying you everything, I have no choice but to switch it up to keep things interesting

Cosmo: Has hard-to-get worked since the days of negging?

Cosmo: You’ve got all the choices, and no need to play any sort of game with me

Cosmo: Let’s have a good time

Ruby: it might have worked for people who want a different reputation than I do

Ruby: that’d wash me out too, the whole projection of intense cold bitch energy

Ruby: a good time is more doable

Cosmo: It wouldn’t get you very far, I understand

Cosmo: We all have to be some type of way to get to where we need to be

Ruby: yeah & talent has to be backed up with 😁✨

Cosmo: A winning personality, of course

Ruby: if I don’t have that both of my parents & coach are going to lose it, definitely

Cosmo: Well, you don’t need to worry about that, from my perspective

Ruby: from my POV neither of us will be worrying until the alarm wakes us early tomorrow & it’ll be too late to stress it by then

Ruby: the good time’ll have already happened

Cosmo: I’ll drink to that

Cosmo: [something that’s between the restaurant moment we just took Savannah to and the normal clubs they would go to, idk what that would look like, like a club that’s a bit sassier than the beyond standard ones footballers and WAGs would hang in]

Cosmo: but I won’t start without you, like

Ruby: not counting the 🍷 if the 🍝 soaked it up

Ruby: but what do you want me to wear? 🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎

Cosmo: ❤️ off the table then

Ruby: the bar hasn’t fallen through the floor, I’m not okaying you wearing the outfit you chose for her & me dressing to match it

Cosmo: 😅 I’ve gone home but alright

Cosmo: I want to see what you come up with, actually

Cosmo: I’ll show you I’ve got better than the jumper, don’t worry

Ruby: I’ll do better than a roast with the fam, talk about a low bar

Cosmo: I think you’re probably incapable of looking bad

Ruby: try keeping me up all night & you’ll see

Cosmo: I won’t be the first or the last to show up to practice feeling less than 💯 … are all the other ice skaters perfect 😇s?

Ruby: I’m not giving any details of who isn’t, you’re a date down tonight as is, I’m not getting ditched for someone even more 😈

Cosmo: About how that looks

Cosmo: ‘cos I know

Cosmo: We aren’t going to post anything are we?

Cosmo: I’m not looking to add to the poor girl’s 💔 and I know it’s a dick move to not even wait ‘til tomorrow

Ruby: 📵

Ruby: getting into a fight with your cousin over me is even more Romeo & Juliet than sneaking around behind my dad’s back, we all know how it ended

Ruby: drama in the routine is fine but off the ice it’s not cute

Cosmo: Drama on the pitch depends how you feel about diving

Cosmo: but I appreciate that

Ruby: how I feel about diving depends how much my brother has got to me & I want to get him back for it

Cosmo: 🟥 or 🟨 depending on the day

Ruby: 🟥 usually

Cosmo: I feel that

Cosmo: about my own, usually, not necessarily yours but I can see the how and why there too

Ruby: yours made an impression, not at all good

Cosmo: That’s his speciality

Ruby: 😬 brothers bring the mood down when they’re ours

Cosmo: Neither of them’s invited

Ruby: it’ll make a change not to see mine out

Cosmo: That’s unlucky

Ruby: but you’re on to a winner with the location, congrats

Cosmo: I had a good feeling

Ruby: I’ve got one too

Cosmo: 💖🤩

Ruby: a compliment to last until I get there

Cosmo: tbd 👋

Ruby: ❤️

Cosmo: [so obviously this night is gonna go better than the awkward date, though that’s not hard soz Savannah, but also a step above the standard club moment of every weekend hence we stay out longer than we usually do when we’ve got an early start tomorrow]

Ruby: [and equally as obviously if you found enough to talk about when you were around all your annoying relatives for that roast I’m not worried about you struggling for a convo tonight, you’re both cute and have things in common and there’s clearly a vibe]

Cosmo: [I don’t think anything needs to happen tonight but it’s obvious you like each other ‘cos you could both be bothered to show and do this]

Ruby: [agreed it feels legit to who you both are and your priorities to wanna take things a bit slower than that, like it’s clearly unlike her already to do this when you were literally on a date earlier and staying out later than planned is also something neither of you do a lot so]

Cosmo: [yes, we’re not that kind of boy, not saying you’ve never slept with anyone obvs lmao but we’re not a different gal every weekend energy at all]

Ruby: [likewise neither calling this gal a nun or a slag but I doubt she's been out with that many people cos of a) her busy schedule and b) the lowkey famous dad and brother thing that would make some lads wanna try it on for that reason]

Cosmo: [exactly dr phil, you wanna skip to the AM of it all?]

Ruby: [absolutely boo]

Cosmo: 🟥 or 🟨 for keeping you out past your bedtime then?

Ruby: Are you willing to take credit or am I blaming a messy friend’s man troubles?

Cosmo: That depends

Cosmo: we would have to find a friend we’d mutually not mind throwing under the bus and I’m not sure if my brain is capable rn

Ruby: it wouldn’t be taxing to mine to think up someone believable, if you’re keen to show up to my door with 💐 & fool my dad that it’s the first move you’ve made

Ruby: for rep’s sake

Cosmo: The 💔 is all around

Cosmo: a hangover will have you feeling that way

Cosmo: are YOU keen for me to show up at your door with 💐s, that’s the real question here

Ruby: I’ll start getting hangovers when I’m old, it’s a scare tactic before, not a real thing

Ruby: impressing my dad doesn’t necessarily impress me

Cosmo: 😂

Cosmo: That’s alright, I already have impressed him, so it’s definitely not my intention here

Ruby: let’s hear what your intentions are

Cosmo: Now you’re bragging about how un-hungover you are

Cosmo: How about you let me set up a second date and we can talk about it then?

Ruby: a brag would have a selfie attached, I was reassuring you I’m not suffering mild alcohol poisoning like most of our friends

Ruby: a second date for when?

Cosmo: I’m pleased to hear it

Cosmo: it doesn’t make for a pretty sight

Cosmo: [pisstakey shot of some of the lads dying in the changing room or wherever like ew lol]

Cosmo: Send me your calendar and I’ll see?

Ruby: 😬 lovely [but send him something similar of the girls obvs and then your calendar of course, I’m cackling because what if the only time they can both do is tonight so that looks really extra when you’re both not]

Cosmo: They’d kill us for that 😏

Cosmo: [we so could, lmao okay]

Cosmo: Well, it looks like either we double down and go for tonight or we give it a rain check and see in a couple weeks 🤔

Ruby: tonight works for me but it’s you who’d be doing the work to think of somewhere else with wow factor

Cosmo: Undefeated with two wins sounds a lot better than one

Ruby: yeah & I don’t want to talk about weeks on the bench

Cosmo: Be a bit of a dirty tactic to put the blame on you for not going out with me tonight if I get benched but

Cosmo: If it works I’m not above it

Cosmo: So, what kind of place are you looking to avoid tonight?

Ruby: do we need to avoid anywhere or flash photography? your cousin & the girl they forced you to date can’t stay mad forever

Cosmo: No, we don’t have to

Ruby: 💖🤩

Cosmo: Understood

Cosmo: I’ll get back to you

Ruby: 🚫🍷🥃🍸🍹 can be tonight’s rule if you need a break

Cosmo: I don’t

Cosmo: I just needed to know what you want to do, and now I do and I’m thinking

Ruby: I know you don’t need it to have or be fun, me either hopefully

Cosmo: I think you’re fun

Cosmo: and it’s definitely tragic if you have to rely on something like that, that’s not me

Ruby: it’s nobody I know or would count as worth knowing

Cosmo: Totally

Cosmo: Okay, I’m going on the pitch, send you deets later

Ruby: don’t mess up or I’m going to cancel tonight & I don’t want to so that’ll be us both in bad moods 😘

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yntcdtyler · 5 years ago

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so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧

i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.

so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.

we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.

so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x

okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.

so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.

AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.

i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.

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iknowiknowiknowtheend · 4 years ago

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been a while since I’ve done one o these (mostly cuz it’s been sitting in my drafts as I’ve been busy,,,) *crackles knickles*

niki is a lovely lady with a bakery, she’s always been close with eret and tubbo and was like their older sister while they were all growing up.

drista is here. she floats around all cool and stuff.

making a full list of sigil people-

schlatt: fire sigils on his hands

sapnap: fire sigil on his right wrist

fundy: water sigil on the back of his neck

carson: water sigil on his back

minx: earth (more specifically metal) sigil on her upper arms

tommy: earth (plants n shit) sigil on his fore arms

drista: air sigil on her right ankle

philza: air sigil on his back

-this concludes the sigil list-

rat exists in this au because the thought of bad having this huge ass dog akin to like a hell hound or something that he calls rat is hilarious.

uh charlie the slime man can melt- he can melt from stress and can be melted like a popsicle when it’s too hot. he can also be melted into a container for easy travel lmaooo

there is a bubble language- Charlie and Cooper speak the bubble language.

bad is the oldest character in the comic.

bad was originally born a demon for,, some reason??? and as he’s a good lad he gets promoted to angel status, and while he’s probably the only born demon to turn angel he was an example to demons that they could be good.

minx is the second oldest, but isn’t really anywhere close to how old bad is. however she existed before bad got to being an angel.

demons pop into existence as young adults. they’re called baby demons for lols but they aren’t actual babies. demons grow, and their range for that is like coming into existence as looking like 17 or 19 and they don’t grow past looking in their mid thirties. they’ll all stop growing at different rates though, like minx stopped when she looked around 25. demon’s horns never stop growing, though.

omg the amount of retconning I’m doing rn—

okay so Dream starts out with schlatt. Dream goes into the deep dark forest because he’s a wanted criminal and he needs a place to hide a bit, he remembers the tale of this ram man who lives in said forest and Dream, with nothing better to do decides to go look for him.

blah blah blah Dream finds him, hijinks ensue (arson included), schlatt and Dream are now travel partners. during their travels they stumble upon a pair, two people about the same height, one lavender haired lady with horns and one kinda scrawny guy with brown hair. schlatt and the lady start screaming at each other and to Dreams dismay at what’s happening between his friend and some random woman, he awkwardly walks over to the guy the horned lady was with and starts talking to him.

Dream learns that he’s talking to some swordsman named George and that lady who’s screaming at his ram friend is a demon named Minx. they have a delightful conversation as their respective travel partners argue and attempt to stab each other in the middle of a pub.

eventually the demon and the ram sort out at least a bit of their issues(with minimal violence) and they all decide to combine into one weird ass party and go on their merry way.

one swordsman, one criminal who’s a little too familiar with an axe, one easily aggravated demon lady, and one firey ram man with seemingly unexplainable power.

although as they go on they realize schlatt’s dealings were an effect channeled from where schlatt had been in the forest and had not been powers he really possessed.

hehe his powers came from his magic treehouse and then it got burnt.

the dream-schlatt-minx-george group lasts a day or two before it becomes the dream-schlatt-minx-george-fundy-wilbur group.

schlatt & co essentially we’re just wandering aimlessly then fundy and wilbur showed up like “yeah we’re going back to our home village” and then schlatt n co were like “cool- we’re going with you” and that was that.

sapnap can and will scoop up anyone into his arms and carry them around. he often carries both kacey and karl at the same time. he’s carrying the whole team.

god fucking dammit I typed AN ENTIRE THING ON TECHNO AND WILBUR AND IT CRASHED AND DIDNT SAVE I AM FUMING.

grrrrrrr I’ll type it all again just watch me, bitch.

techno and wilbur were street kids- they beat the shit out of other orphans because haha funny and then one day wilbur decided to team up with this other kid so they could kick malnourished ass as a team. Wilbur came up to techno like “now I’m real smart, and your really violent- why don’t we team up and become kings amongst these common fools?” And techno was like “aight”

it,,, kinda worked?

they did better— but that got them off ‘beating people up and stealing their food’ to street fighting, and that’s where the tweens are and those things are brutal—

so their plan hadn’t gone as well as they hoped but they’d stuck together anyway because they’d enjoyed each other’s company and eventually considered themselves brothers.

they were like 9 at the time,,,

oh and then everything was on fire.

at that point phil comes across them when he finds his way into this BURNT ASS VILLAGE ands like “oh look, children. yeah they look terrible why not get myself some sons”

and then they aren’t that much of orphans anymore.

and then after about a year of living with Phil as their super rad adopted dad, they go into the forest as they always did, this time go a little further into the dense trees,,,, and they eventually make their way back home with wilbur holding the small hand of like a toddler fox boy who’s a bit feral.

and then there were three :)

something about the gongoozler.

quackity.

just quackity. :)

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vaguely-gestures-to-the-void · 3 years ago

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Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)

As always, thanks for being here my friends. There’s definitely more nuanced discussion of this show, but I’m here for the vibes. Anyways, here’s my thoughts on Episode 3 of Loki. Bear in mind I hadn’t watched episode 4 before I wrote the review for 3. No hate on anyone/thing, it’s all my opinion.

Episode 3: LAMENTIS

Pre-title scene

I rioted when I heard Hayley’s voice. It’s a win for all of us.

C-20! Sylvie!

C-20’s lil dance was adorable. I love her.

I want Sylvie’s tie dye.

Is that Ralph Bohner?

The same place, but at night. Coincidence? I think not.

Sylvie’s powers have limits. She can’t search someone’s mind and take information, she needs them to willingly tell her though she can use her powers to do that.

TVA

Sylvie’s experienced. Always tie your hair into a bun before a fight.

Her music is nothing like what we’ve heard previously. It’s the Sylvie show folks.

The mural on the left side of the hall is the one from the credits scene.

The plaque above the elevators says ‘FOR ALL TIME ALWAYS’.

Even in the mural on the right side, the Time Keepers aren’t equal, the middle one takes up the most space.

Ravonna!

I love how their movements are similar. The head-snap-hair-flip combo is nearly identical, reflecting how they are the same person to some extent.

2077 Lamentis - 1

“Get off my leg!” SiblingTM energy.

“Goodbye, variant.” She sure has the Loki drama.

I finally remembered it’s called a TemPad. Rip.

“Don’t ever call me that.”

“Tech savvy?”

That’s so Ragnarok.

I love the music as we pan up to the planet. It’s the familiar, anxiety-inducing ticking for me lads.

“You idiot! This is Lamentis - 1.”

“I don’t know what that means!”

My siblings when I can’t restart the router (every country has an AT&T).

I like that it’s a moon that’s inhabited. It’s nearly always the planet, still not great for the people on it.

That slide to get under the dump truck was so smooth.

“So we’re a team now?” Jesus Loki needs friends. Probably a good therapist too.

“Didn’t need your help!”

“You’re so weird!”

I like the way Tom runs. Don’t know why. Just do.

Sidenote, my favourite running form is Chris Evans’.

Sylvie’s magic flickered so I genuinely think the enchantment didn’t work.

“Well then I’ll cut it out.” I like the way she says that. I am questioning so many things rn.

“Just because I have to work with you doesn’t mean I wanna hear your voice.” It’s ironic since they spend so much time talking about themselves.

“Alright, well, slow down… Variant.” They really play off each other’s egos to find weaknesses.

“You don’t know what you want.” Sylvie’s more straightforward in everything she does. She efficiently points out Loki’s flaws but when it comes to a goal, she’s meticulous.

“...just walk away.” Loki stops walking, but Sylvie does walk away. There is distance between them (for now).

I’ve had experience with mining towns like this one and whilst they weren’t so out-of-this-world (ya know) there is a tendency for rural and isolated communities to struggle with old/not maintained infrastructure. This is not everywhere, but it’s not uncommon from what I know. Even though these towns are a source of wealth, there isn’t distribution of the money and it’s a grim reality that’s being shown. I appreciate it.

The shot of them walking past a slab of that planet towards the hut is incredible. Wow.

The person in there is just waiting for their death. I’m going to be addressing a lot of the harsh realities in this episode folks so it won’t be so cheerful.

I understand that people weren’t so happy with this being a filler episode, but I think they got it right. It’s strange that a literal planet-moon collision doesn’t bring the tension that the hurricane did in the last ep, but by having an atmosphere that wasn't so omnius, they conveyed (to me at least) that hope was already lost. In the Roxxcart Disaster, the people believed that it wasn’t going to be the end. There’s desperation on Lamentis - 1 but as Sylvie said, the collapse of society occurs. That’s a large group of people realising that class divides will cause slaughter. It’s greed portrayed in two different ways, one being the integration of excessive capitalism into society, the other being social structure based on oppression. Not everyone’s reading into Loki like this but it’s a change from how Marvel usually approaches conflict.

We learnt about the characters and whilst I’m not a fan of when a plot line is moot (my bet is that Loki and Sylvie will be rescued next ep, making all the attempts to get off Lamentis - 1 pointless), it’s necessary for the characters to develop. The way Loki and Sylvie end up on Lamentis - 1 makes sense and the plot doesn’t feel forced.

“It’s remarkable that you made it as far as you did.”

Devils is recurring in this episode. Maybe this has implications on future episodes?

“Which one was that, diplomacy?” Why are their interactions so funny?

I don’t think I need to comment on the significance of the train station scene.

I would like to acknowledge that though this is good writing that’s relevant in the time it was released, we shouldn’t forget it’s coming from large corporations who aren’t perfect.

How do they just walk past the line?

The people who snitched were right in front of them.

Did the cat get Loki’s silvertongue? That was the most graceless lying I’ve ever seen.

Sylvie not sitting with her back to a door makes sense, but why won’t Loki go backwards on a train? They both have little quirks.

“That’s not a plan. That’s just doing a thing.” Loki went to the Thor school of planning, it’s Get Help all over again.

Loki’s exaggerated nods at the other guards lol.

Sylvie growls whenever she’s mad, it’s hilarious.

The close ups of their faces when the conversation gets personal and isn’t just trading jabs is great for conveying the authenticity of their answers.

Loki not pressing Sylvie when she clearly didn’t want to talk about what happened to her mother is something I appreciated.

Here’s to Tom for having to do magic for more than 10 years now. He’s so serious, I can only imagine how funny it is without the effects.

“Well she did.” Yeesh, has Loki gotten time to grieve?

Sylvie is genuinely impressive.

“Pity the old woman chose to die.”

“She was in love.”

I don’t quite understand what they were talking about then, I guess we’ll find out later?

Loki, why are you so unnecessarily dramatic?

I laughed. Who am I kidding, they’re dorks and I love them.

Loki is trying to find out anything, anyone who could be used against Sylvie.

Here’s to the postman, they’re probably dead but we appreciate Sylvie’s happiness anyways.

“A bit of both. I suspect the same as you.” AND THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE IN REPRESENTATION FOLKS!

Let’s just take our scraps and be happy, eh? It made my week.

They both need real relationships of any kind, guys.

“Love is… uh, something I might have to have another drink to think about.” Me whenever anyone asks me about my love life.

“You do realise… ...a civilisation’s only hope?” I think this was Sylvie’s way of making sure Loki’s (albeit grey) morals and drinking habits don’t interrupt her plan.

The train sure gives me Snowpiercer vibes.

Do I have to talk about Drunk Loki?

Tom’s singing voice is lovely.

Sylvie’s eyes shift nervously to the door and then back to Loki. She’s initially tense but she relaxes slightly though she knows she’s gonna have to clean up the mess.

“Nobody cares. It’s the end of the world.” Again, Loki’s headspace is one where existence is futile.

The green walls contrast the purple lighting nicely.

You can see plants (?) from the outside if you look out the windows. Talk about attention to detail.

Bruh what is the dagger about? Drunk Loki’s a comedic genius.

The descending notes in the background of Loki’s fireworks.

Sylvie’s smile when she goes to attack is animalistic. I’d like to see her character explored more in terms of how she views violence.

YEET.

“You’re right. I’m a god.” Loki’s defense mechanism is to state that his motives are above the understanding of others.

“You’re a clown.” Sylvie tells it as it is.

Loki and Sylvie’s reactions to the TVA contrast the most here. Sylvie is potentially motivated by vengeance or a need for revenge whilst Loki has resigned to numbing the pain (for now at least) as he comes to terms with his reality. The question of what drives you is so important for these characters, I’m excited to see whether they’ll find a common ground and wreak havoc on the sacred timeline.

Loki and Sylvie both struggle with communicating in a healthy way. Sylvie calls him out on his directionlessness and Loki tells her what may be the harsh reality of her plan. Neither of them are willing to accept it, but there’s potential for a strong bond if they do.

Sylvie’s scream lmao.

I love the colour of Loki’s pants.

Problem? Solution! Do thing! Is Sylvie’s method of thinking when all is lost.

Gosh I love the shots in this episode.

“That’s a pretty good life.” Sylvie’s definitely not lived as a royal, or not from what she remembers.

“I just need to know if I can trust you.” Sylvie giving up how she enchants people is an olive branch because as useful as the things that Loki told her may have been for manipulation, they both know the importance of her upper hand. But she only relents once Loki doesn’t have the TemPad. Later, when she asks whether she can trust Loki, it’s more of a reassurance because he’s already been vulnerable around her.

The actor’s body language and facial expressions are incredible. Loki’s eyebrow’s furrow slightly when Sylvie mentions C-20’s mind but Tom takes a second for the information to be processed rather than instantly reacting to Sophia’s next line. She does the same when Loki talks about the TVA workers being created. What skilled people they are.

The city is a wonderful piece of set design.

“We do, and you can.” They step into the light, neither of them have tunnel vision and are able to see a bigger picture.

“They’re gonna let these people die.” This show explores a side of Loki we haven’t seen before, his morality and compassion. He has grey areas that could be explored in the next season. It also points back to how Sylvie and Loki differ in their view of others. I think this is partially because of their childhoods. Loki was raised as a prince and cared about his people, but Sylvie doesn’t share that perspective (“...they usually survive”), maybe because of her past. Hopefully in the upcoming episodes we’ll get a bit more of her backstory.

That sequence is beyond words. The constantly rotating and revolving camera really hammers home that it’s a disorienting fight for their lives at the end of the world. I’m speechless, just watch it.

The music in that blue-purple-pink club was banging tho.

Loki and Sylvie’s posture, facial expression and general body movement is similar. The variant point is hammered home here.

It’s interesting how Loki is in shock/denial of the Ark being destroyed whereas Sylvie immediately leaves.

The end music of this episode is beautiful. I love how it all builds to leave us on the soft tones of Dark Moon.

No one’s interested, but my mum and I bonded over the Jim Reeves version of this song and the Bonnie Guitar one.

Ep 3 review

Short episode with not much going on other than character development. However, if the first two were anything to go by, this episode will have greater implications on the plot. The pacing of this show is a bit strange, but we may see this change in the next season.

I mentioned previously that it would be a shame if the entire plot of this episode was made irrelevant by how they get off Lamentis - 1 next ep. This show has been really good at keeping us on our toes with the writing so they probably won’t take turns that have been speculated.

Happy mid-season guys! The following two episodes were apparently Tom’s favourites so we can expect some mayhem up ahead. See you next time!

Here's the link to my Ep 2 review

#loki #loki review #loki (2021)#i've stayed inconsistent in all these tags and i'm not about to change #my opinion #opinion #loki spoilers #spoilers #spoiler

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