#...this does give me more ideas for the Tunnels and Caverns arc of my book though

[alsikeclovers]

why does daylight savings time exist

it feels like I got plunged into eternal night

[keingleichgewicht]

WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0

YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]

this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............  readmore

so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know

a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:

the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:

it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,

in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.

(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)

but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:

which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.

the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:

(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!) 

in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know

dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!

i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill

is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)

and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.

so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand

the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’

but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.

i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and: 

the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.

this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that

as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.

and then there’s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’

you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?

staring down the barrel of the gun.

[artemis-entreri]

[[ This post contains Part 5 of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Boundless, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: Generations: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #35 (#32 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (September 10, 2019)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Boundless and used above is originally done by Aleks Melnik. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

Contents:

Introduction

I. Positives  I.1 Pure Positives  I.2 Muddled Positives

II. Mediocre Writing Style  II.1 Bad Descriptions  II.2 Salvatorisms  II.3 Laborious “Action”

III. Poor Characterization  III.1 “Maestro”  III.2 Lieutenant  III.3 Barbarian  III.4 “Hero”  III.5 Mother

IV. World Breaks  IV.1 Blinders Against the Greater World  IV.2 Befuddlement of Earth and Toril  IV.3 Self-Inconsistency  IV.4 Dungeon Amateur  IV.5 Utter Nonsense

V. Ego Stroking  (you are here)  V.1 The Ineffable Companions of the Hall  V.2 Me, Myself, and I

VI. Problematic Themes  VI.1 No Homo  VI.2 Disrespect of Women  VI.3 Social-normalization  VI.4 Eugenics

VII. What’s Next  VII.1 Drizzt Ascends to Godhood  VII.2 Profane Redemption  VII.3 Passing the Torch  VII.4 Don’t Notice Me Senpai

Ego Stroking

Before Timeless, each new Drizzt novel release reached a new level of self-congratulation and selling out. After a one book break with Timeless, Boundless hops right back on the proverbial horse and charges to new distances. 

The Ineffable Companions of the Hall

As mentioned in the previous section, Drizzt's awesomeness has increased yet again. It isn't quite clear what specifically is going on with him and what specific abilities he's using from his new multi-classing, but one thing is evident: Drizzt is way more than what he should be. I suppose this follows tradition, but it's past the point of ridiculous. While something like Drizzt's monk training helping him run more efficiently is plausible even at level one as long as it also isn't making him run faster, which is an ability monks do not gain until level two, the feat that Drizzt performs at the end of the novel isn't even a monk ability, at least not in the current D&D edition. Drizzt eludes a creature that wouldn't stop chasing him so long as they both exist on the same plane, and having stripped himself down to his underclothes, Drizzt has only his own body with which to perform his feat. The feat he performs is more on the level of Grandmaster Kane, who transcended death long ago and doesn't seem to even need his corporeal form anymore. Drizzt literally vanishes into nothing, and the creature chasing him returns to its home plane after its supernatural senses verify that Drizzt indeed no longer existed on the Prime anymore. So, several possibilities exist here, lets examine a few. First, Drizzt's awesomeness somehow negated a fundamental aspect of a very powerful creature that he couldn't defeat in combat. Second, Drizzt performed the astral projection portion of the level eighteen monk ability Empty Body. Third, Drizzt performed the twentieth level ability Psionic Body of the imbalanced and not yet official Mystic class from Unearthed Arcana. Fourth, Drizzt's sheer amazingness allowed him to transcend the mortal world and spontaneously become a Jedi master. The first of these possibilities is the least trite, but is still inherently based on a cheap tactic. I am legitimately afraid of what Salvatore is going to tell us about what happened. The creature pursuing Drizzt is a Retriever, with a challenge rating of fourteen. Yet, in Boundless, they are presented to be much more than that, on par with the demon lords and feared by lesser demons. In D&D canon, even a normal marilith poses a greater danger than a Retriever, and Drizzt had managed to singlehandedly defeat the greatest of that class of demon, the Maritlith who gave its name to its type. A Retriever, in comparison, should be no problem at all for him, but Salvatore inflates the power level of an established creature in order to create drama and suspense rather than coming up with something more original, or doing more research and finding something of an appropriate power level to use. The second possibility shouldn't be viable at all, the only reason aside from making his character and hence himself awesome through it is a story arc for the characters to recover or recreate Drizzt body and relocating his soul to put back into it. The third possibility I named is just really nothing short of Salvatore signing his name in an ugly sharpie across the tapestry of the Realms. Even though Grandmaster Kane was his creation too, apparently, Drizzt has to be the best, even among his own. The fourth option? Well, that one seems like it might be the most likely after all. I mean Salvatore does have an in with the Star Wars community... and wouldn't we all want Drizzt to dual-wield light sabers? The self-congratulation doesn't stop with Drizzt. The Companions of the Hall, in addition to being great heroes, apparently also have to be extremely physically attractive. This has already been done to death with Drizzt and Catt-brie, and in Boundless we're reminded a number of times of how hot Wulfgar is, but absent of this treatment thus far is Regis and Bruenor. I think Salvatore realizes that perhaps even his most fervent fans might raise an eyebrow if he pimped out Bruenor, or perhaps he doesn't have the stomach to do so for a character who's basically a very muscular, short and hirsute man. That said, it's not like he hasn't tried, for Bruenor has two wives instead of one after all. In Boundless, the circle is complete with Regis, who previously was a chubby (and hence unattractive) halfling. Now, he is described as a "quite striking figure" and "quite the dashing figure", wearing fancy clothes and equipment whilst rakishly having his "vest undone just enough to hint at another weapon he carried beneath it". Regis is so arresting that the disciplined and task-focused Dahlia "fancied she might comb her hair in her reflection" in the shiny silver buckles of his boots. Regis might've been a plump and greedy glutton with a heart of gold in his previous life, but no more. Now, he fits in with and stands beside the rest of his group in equal beauty, because apparently, it isn't enough for heroes to heroically kick people when they are down. They have to be look good while doing so too, or at least, Salvatore's heroes need to be best in all aspects.

As is routine with Drizzt's journal entries, there is much sanctimonious preaching. In Boundless, Drizzt lectures about tradition and the perils of following problematic traditions. Yet, Drizzt doesn't break from tradition himself, as though he, through being who he is, is absent from even that which he himself cautions about. In the opening to part three, Drizzt extols the dwarves for constantly searching for new tunnels to mine, Wulfgar for overcoming the sexist conditioning of his tribe, and the halflings of Bleeding Vines for the malleability of their society. Yet, he continues to hold fast to his intolerance of Zaknafein and his conviction of there being only one right path, namely, the one tread by him. This really makes him more akin to the unchanging Lolthite society of Menzoberranzan, the atrocious practices of the Prisoner's Carnival, and the insular elves who turn away refugees from their shelter, all things which he condemns. Drizzt, of course, is a fictional character, and these entries are Salvatore's words. The thing that is nearly unique about Drizzt in these novels is that he tends to present a more or less consistent stance and voice and this is still the case. Other characters are markedly less consistent, and I suspect this is driven by the fact that they are more purely whole cloth creations of Salvatores. This leads me to believe that Drizzt acts as Salvatore's perhaps unconscious spokesman, and that these ideas spouted by Drizzt are Salvatore's own ideas. If so, he is attempting to give them more validity by having them spouted by a "hero", and specifically one that he continues to build up to ridiculous levels.

Me, Myself, and I

Zaknafein, whom we're told on numerous occasions is so expert that he is pure grace with no wasted moves, is remarkably showy. During the recreational cavern-jumping sequence of the past timeline as well as the fleeing of the demons of the present timeline, Zaknafein's free-running style is more typical of a YouTube parkour performer. There are a lot of unnecessary flips, as though Salvatore in fact used a YouTube video for his writing guideline. Traceurs perform all the acrobatic feats that they do in their videos because it's more entertaining than if they simply followed the most efficient strategies for navigating a route. There's much of pointless flipping in those videos, such as running up a wall and back-flipping off of it only to climb that same wall again. Salvatore's describes Zaknafein doing a lot of similar things, with back-flipping off of stalagmites when he could just jump across, or running up surfaces that he doesn't need to run up in the first place to perform the subsequent moves. The specifics of Zaknafein's blade work is harder to comment on, as it's weighed down by Salvatore's tedious need to walk through the moves as though he were making a grocery list, but the amount of leaping and turning serving nothing but to offer his opponents openings makes the fight scenes reminiscent of old Chinese martial arts movies, where the combatants spent most of their time somersaulting at each other than exchanging blows. I believe Salvatore fancies himself a master of writing combat, for much of Boundless showcases his combat and action scenes, this is an inconvenient truth for those that would like to agree with Mr. Salvatore about his mastery. R. A. Salvatore might not be able to remember details of the greater world nor bother to spend the time to look them up, but he certainly will toot his own horn and reference his own work as though it's the only thing written in the Realms. The Stone of Tymora trilogy, penned by him and his son, Geno Salvatore, is a loose spin-off from the Drizzt series, featuring protagonists with less relation to the dark elf books than the cast of The Cleric Quintet. Yet, we're to believe that the, objectively speaking in the greater scope of the shared world, insignificant events have sent ripples that are still felt a hundred years later. The not-so-inconspicuously named ship, Joen's Heirloom, just so happens to be the trusty vessel boarded by one of the exalted heroes of the Companions of the Hall as well as the co-leader of Bregan D'aerthe. Joen is the co-star of that trilogy and eventually rises to become a minor pirate queen. Maimun, the main protagonist, and Joen were last seen during the Transitions trilogy, mourning the passing of Deudermont. The demon controlling Brevindon Margaster, a key figure in the noble Waterdhavian house that is consorting with demons, is a cambion named Asbeel. Asbeel is the name of yet another character from the Stone of Tymora trilogy, specifically, the main antagonist of the series. The last we saw of that Asbeel was being stabbed through the heart after the magic that was keeping him immortal was broken. In addition, that Asbeel, although cursed to appear with the visage of a demon whenever he wasn't in a shrine of Beshaba or Tymora, was fundamentally a moon elf. The Asbeel in Boundless is described as a cambion. Yet, this  cambion possesses a "melodic and high-pitched" voice, specifically, "the voice of an elf, but twisted and grating". It seems to be no coincidence, especially considering that the description of Asbeel's sword in Stowaway, the first book of the Stone of Tymora series, is as follows: "Black iron, the blade was longer than Perrault was tall, and the whole length of it curved. The convex edge, the sharp side, was wickedly serrated, with bright red barbs lining its length. Even the hilt looked capable of killing. Its crosspiece of twisted metal spikes, a dozen perhaps, jutted at odd angles, and several more spikes stuck out beneath the demon's red hand where a pommel should have been. More frightening still, the length of the blade blazed with red flame." Meanwhile, the blade wielded by Brevindon Margaster, specifically stated by the text to be "Asbeel's sword", is described as, "a black blade" as well as, "a curving, viciously serrated bastard sword with a handle of jagged spikes that cut into his hands when he wielded it". It seems pretty clear that these two weapons are the same, even if the one that appears in Boundless is "completed in the town of Port Llast after the sacking" that had occurred earlier in the novel. Perhaps Asbeel was "reforged" in some way too for the purpose of this Generations trilogy, but another thing becomes, I believe, very clear: that Salvatore took time to reference other material, which is something he most certainly hasn't done recently to the works of others, and oftentimes not even to his own earlier books. Yet, what makes the Stone of Tymora series an exception? I suspect that his special treatment of it, as well as the name of the current trilogy, hints at the reason, which I'll go into further in the speculations section. Either way, it's yet another example of Salvatore exalting, or, at the very least, recognizing himself.

[eponymous-rose]

Best-Laid Plans...

We had a great arc-ending session last night, so I thought this might be a fun chance to share how I prep as a DM... and how things inevitably changed in the game itself!

(If you’re one of my players stumbling onto this, hi, and also thank you again for the amazing scotch. Please let me know you’ve found this account so I can be careful about what I give away in these posts in the future!)

Basically, the entire goofy premise of this arc was, “Hey, so bards have access to the spell Modify Memory. With carefully targeted concerts, a boy band could secretly be changing the fate of nations.”

This campaign’s set (mostly for my convenience in early-game worldbuilding) in CR’s Tal’Dorei campaign setting, during the year gap that happened toward the end of their first campaign. The party started in Kymal, since it was a good-sized city in the middle of everything that hadn’t really been explored too much in the show.

As the campaign begins, the monster-hunting guild from the show, the Slayers’ Take, are expanding their operation into Tal’Dorei’s Dividing Plains (in large part because Vanessa wanted to get Lyra out of Vasselheim for a while), and their first round of advertising for potential new recruits has pulled in a pretty good crowd. Under Lyra’s eccentric delegation, the players get grouped together for a job that involves checking out the mysterious disappearance of a bookish elf in town, under the assumption that some monstrous beastie has devoured him, and that beastie should probably be hunted. Instead, they find a lot of deep-dive research into the Feywild, along with a weird portal in his basement that takes them to a strange pocket plane where they fight some sentient plants and talk to an extremely creepy entity that offers them protection from scrying eyes in exchange for an ill-defined favor.

After getting jumped by a group of kobolds (one of whom they sort of accidentally befriend via cookie-related bribes and implications that they may be some sort of deity), the group decides that avoiding whatever’s trying to take them out is a good call. They head back to report a modified version of their findings to Lyra... and find her standing over the corpses of all the other Slayer's Take hopefuls, badly shaken and completely baffled as to why she'd do such a thing. They opt to hang out and wait for the authorities to take her into custody, which results in a bit of confusion and a night spent in jail with their kobold pal.

The city watch eventually opts to let them go, but offer the party a job joining their security detail for the city's charismatic but not-terribly-effectual margrave as he does a meet-and-greet tour of the local casinos. The group agrees to meet at the margrave's mansion that evening to help out... and they promptly spend the day smuggling illegal materials across the city wall for a friendly local tavern owner. As you do.

The meet-and-greet is fairly uneventful until the margrave enters one of the largest casinos in town (the two largest are, of course, fronts run by the Clasp and the Myriad crime organizations, respectively), at which point the party's recollection of events starts to diverge. The druid and the fighter see mysterious black-robed figures attacking from an upper balcony of the building, and are about to chase after them... when the other two members of their party suddenly collapse, unconscious and bleeding. The sorcerer and the ranger saw something very different. After succeeding at a wisdom saving throw that the others failed (the results of which were kept secret from the rest of the party), they managed to shake off the effects of a Modify Memory spell and see what really happened: a single black-robed figure stalking up to the margrave and shooting him in the head with a crossbow. They attempt to engage the attacker and are quickly cut down by the attacker's allies.

In the chaos, the party are joined by one surviving hopeful of that first night at the Slayer's Take, who'd disappeared before the carnage started: a human woman named Zo, who manages to smuggle them out through a passage underneath the casino. Once the injured party members are patched up, she reveals that she's a Spireling working for the Clasp. She's very careful to dance around most of the group's questions, and is very curious as to how they survived the attack on the Slayers' Take, which the group manages to avoid answering as well. It's all very tense, but eventually Zo strongly requests that they venture into the nearby mountains to find a powerful and ancient creature that once pledged its aid to the Clasp. When they hesitate, she casually threatens their families. Thieves' guilds, man. Often helpful, but definitely not nice. She smuggles them out of town through the Clasp's web of sewers and tunnels.

The group does a little meandering outside the city, makes some friends, has a good old-fashioned dungeon crawl, helps patch things up a bit between a devil and a deva (the most awkward of ex-girlfriends)... and everyone occasionally gets pulled into the Feywild for tests and trials, apparently being administered by an underling (a deeply sarcastic satyr woman who delights in her surreal brand of middle management) of the same entity that contacted them way back at the beginning. There's a lot of near-death experiences, an attempt at befriending a blink dog, and everyone winds up assigned a particular symbol. It's all very mysterious, but the party's getting stronger as a result.

Eventually, the group finds the Clasp's protector, a bronze dragon, killed with a dire warning written in its blood on the wall behind it.

They very nearly decide to make a run for it, but after some deliberation, they instead sneak back into Kymal to find that things are... pretty much normal, for the most part. According to the inhabitants of the city, the margrave's fine and dandy after the assassination "attempt". The party tries to head back to chat with their pal the tavern owner, but find his tavern abandoned and in the middle of being robbed... by a group including their old kobold buddy. The kobold cheerfully switches allegiances to their side (the fighter has a bag of infinite cookies), helps them chase off the robbers, and introduces them to a fastidious street-cleaner friend who witnessed a body being removed from the casino during the assassination "attempt".

The party finally decides to go poking around the margrave's mansion, where they run into their tavern-owner friend who seems to be doing the same thing. He admits that his relationship with the Clasp may be a little more friendly than he first implied, and says he's sniffing around on Zo's orders. He's startled when an ordinary-looking toolshed appears, covered in chains. The party realizes that the fighter's symbol from their Feywild excursion is a link of chains, and as soon as he touches the chains, they vanish.

The party, plus the tavern owner (a gold dragonborn monk from Marquet named Orshi), wind up in a strange sequence of puzzle rooms running under the margrave's mansion that generally require them to leverage the symbols they were given in the Feywild to solve - for instance, the solution to one puzzle can only be written in a book by the druid (whose symbol was a feather) using a feather quill, and the ranger (whose symbol was an eye) is the only one who can see the correct path through a maze.

And right in the middle of all those puzzles is where we left off!

So here's my preparation: 

I had a set of things that needed to happen in this session:

Finish up the puzzles with something that leveraged the symbol of a glowing star.

Reveal that the Fantasy Backstreet Boys (mentioned in passing at least once per session as passing through Kymal on tour) are an illusion created by a powerful group of magic-users to get them access to (and the ability to modify the memories of and/or get away with assassinating) important figures in towns across the Dividing Plains and beyond.

Answer some of the party's extant questions, because they'd been in the dark long enough and deserved some closure.

I set it up with seven brief (1-2--page) documents, laid out as follows:

Recap of the previous sessions (we hadn't played in a few months).

Puzzle rooms! The first puzzle was a play on a moving tile puzzle from an Uncharted game, where the hints leading to the correct path could only be found by having the sorcerer (with the symbol of a glowing star) be the one to light the room up. I decided at the last minute to be a jerk and also do the classic countdown puzzle room, where the doors lock behind the party and an extremely ominous countdown from 20 starts, which can be reset by pressing a button in the middle of the room (the idea being that the party's own paranoia will keep them mashing that button while they search every inch of the room... but it turns out that the countdown is just until the door opens and means nothing more; it's a great test to see how convinced your players are that character death is a possibility, because if they hesitate a lot you're probably pushing it too hard, but if they don't hesitate at all to let the countdown run out they're probably feeling a bit immortal). These puzzles are being manufactured by an entity with a vested interest in just plain annoying the group, so it seemed like a good call.

Description of the final cavern, where they see a single yuan-ti in a blue robe practicing his illusion of the Fantasy Backstreet Boys while on a conference call with his boss (whose voice is the only thing present, coming from the form of a floating silver orb). This one took some rehearsal, because I had the ominous dramatic background music slowly fading out to "Backstreet's Back" to time up with the reveal. That was a real “what is my life right now” moment.

Two documents with different dialogue possibilities based on whether the group is detected or manages to stay stealthy (if they stealth, they can potentially overhear a long conversation between this yuan-ti and his boss; if their approach is noted, they're likely to be attacked on sight).

Stat blocks for the yuan-ti (essentially a warlock) and two clockwork snakes he keeps under the stage, as well as a stat block for Orshi, who's likely to be fighting alongside the party to help make up for the extremely lopsided CR of these enemies. In addition, the room has some fairly poorly built security features in the form of statues scattered around the room - at initiative count 20, roll a d12 to pick the effect the statues have on everything in a 10-foot radius. Ideally, they're supposed to have negative effects (the yuan-ti is smart enough to do anything to avoid getting caught in those radii) like a stun, a brief application of the Confusion spell, sleep, etc., but they're malfunctioning and occasionally result in positive effects like a brief application of the Haste spell or a small pool of temporary hit points. Strategy-wise, Orshi will fight as long as the group does and will generally try to help them out where he can; the snakes are unintelligent and will often attack random enemies if surrounded instead of strategizing; and the yuan-ti is extremely smart and ruthless and will target one enemy until it's dead before moving on to the next.

The aftermath of the fight: in the middle of any looting (some fun potions and a store of trade bars of gold and silver that were being used to help bankroll this operation), Zo comes in through a hidden passageway with some of the Clasp's people. She reveals that she'd sent Orshi poking around the tool shed explicitly as a distraction so she could get her people into the margrave's mansion to poke around. They found some of the margrave's very confused staff, but no sign of the guy himself, and eventually stumbled across a secret passageway leading from his sleeping chambers down here. They'd come down ready for a fight (and if the party had delayed another day in starting this whole exploration, that fight would've happened without them), but they missed the excitement. Zo answers a lot of the party's questions (I have six or seven potential questions listed along with some point-form answers she'd give) and helps them piece together that it looks like this yuan-ti and his boss are part of a larger cult that's been pulling in mercenaries and ne'er-do-wells across the continent to quietly usurp the leadership of cities and towns for some unknown purpose possibly related to one of their snake gods. The Clasp sent Zo to the Slayer's Take to make sure they weren't trying to make a bid for power in the city (which, surprise, was Vanessa's alternative motivation), and she coincidentally got caught up in this mysterious cult's more permanent way of dealing with this upstart organization that could pose a threat to their plans. She apologizes for the earlier brute-force tactics in getting them to comply, arranges to meet Orshi at his tavern the next morning to figure out how to proceed, and invites the party to join that meeting as well. Orshi invites the party to stay at his tavern free of charge.

As they're leaving, the party are briefly pulled into the Feywild by their very excited middle-manager satyr friend, who explains that, given their performance, she's been authorized to answer some of their questions. I wrote up a series of potential questions and answers about their employer (some unknown but immensely powerful Fey creature seeking to extend their influence into the Prime Material plane - essentially, the entire party is getting a bit of a Pact of the Archfey warlock vibe), the satyr (a minor dignitary with the Seelie Court who got herself into potentially fatal trouble and had this mysterious employer to thank for pulling her out of that situation), and the place where they've been training (not actually the Feywild, but a pocket dimension made to look like it). If they ask about the elf whose disappearance started all this, she reveals that he was doing research into the Feywild, made contact with their employer, and they'd been working together to start bridging the planes, which resulted in the portal they'd stumbled into. The yuan-ti cult got wind of his research and had him killed, which accidentally drew the attention of the Slayer's Take, which got them killed (with Lyra - an extremely powerful wizard - framed via Modify Memory spell to wrap up the loose ends). Once the questioning's done, she congratulates them again, and we leave it there for the night.

I also write something up for the possibility that the party is defeated: they have a different Feywild encounter immediately, where a more subdued satyr tells them that they've been revived/healed and are currently prisoners of the yuan-ti. She assures them that their mutual employer will be looking out for them, answers some of their questions, then regretfully leaves them to their fate. Whereupon, as it turns out, Zo is about to spring her attack...

So that's the preparation I had for this week's session! Very linear, without a lot of branching paths, but I also had to be very sure about every faction's awareness, motivations, and willingness to share certain information, so it wound up being pretty involved. It also felt really contrived on paper to have these info-dumps, but I suspected it would feel more natural to the players given how badly they were looking for those answers.

And... here's what really went down!

The party solved both puzzles fairly quickly (which was a good indicator that they may be getting a bit complacent vis-a-vis potential character death, which is Good To Know for ominous reasons). The stealth check into the main chamber was only DC 13, with a group check (so all they needed was 3/5 members to succeed), but they failed hilariously with a couple of natural ones, so the yuan-ti was ready for them when they arrived. The Backstreet Boys reveal was very funny.

Before the yuan-ti could just straight-up attack them, though, the party started taunting him mercilessly. He had snakes for arms (as you do), so they started asking how he did a whole variety of everyday tasks, causing a bit of an existential crisis. They pointed out the statues and asked if he really felt like he had to build an audience for his pretend band. The druid started flirting with him aggressively, which he was kind of into? This whole back-and-forth was being yelled across a cavern, so there was a lot of "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? Seriously, I missed it, say that again." and at one point a couple people just got really amused by the echoes off the chamber walls and started yelling random words, adding to the chaos. The yuan-ti's employer was just listening to all this in confusion, and when the yuan-ti turned to explain what was happening, the ranger took the moment of confusion to attack.

The battle was really heated, with the fighter nearly dying a couple of times (the yuan-ti latched onto him with Vampiric Touch and kept leeching his life), Orshi taking an impromptu nap, and the sorcerer getting viciously downed by the yuan-ti after she managed to hit him with a Witch Bolt. Eventually, though, the clockwork snakes were dismantled, the yuan-ti was surrounded and out of spell slots, and he was down to 1 HP and extremely desperate. I was about to have him attempt an escape by transforming into a snake, but the party instead demanded that he surrender. I had the newly healed sorcerer roll a Persuasion check... natural 20. He compliantly went down on his knees and raised his snake hands in surrender; he's definitely smart enough to know it's best to live to fight another day.

The party tried to interrogate him, but he generally ignored what they were saying in favor of being a creep (quietly cutting in while the sorcerer was speaking to ask her what it had felt like to be so close to death, if she enjoyed the feeling, if she'd like to feel that again). The druid, in dire wolf form, responded by licking the side of his head until his hair was thoroughly messed up and he was coated in drool. They didn't get much information from him, and the group eventually decided to knock him out again.

A big debate followed: the sorcerer thought it would be best to help clear things up if they took him prisoner, but the druid argued (via replies to Message, since she was still a dire wolf) that nobody in this city would be competent enough to hold him prisoner and that it would be best to kill him. Lots of discussion followed while the group split up to do some looting, and eventually Zo's name was brought up, and it was decided that it might be best to bring him to the Clasp.

It felt like way too much of a coincidence to have Zo pop up at that moment, even thought that’s what I had planned, so I let them explore the cavern for a while, coming up with some great loot here and there, but also missing some very powerful items with slightly-too-low investigation checks. The conversation turned to the yuan-ti and the burning question that occupies everyone's minds if they think about it too much: if his arms are snakes... what other parts of him are snakes? The debate came to a head (sorry) when the druid, in dire wolf form, decided to try to pull off his pants and find out. I had her roll a general Dexterity check because she was, you know, a dire wolf.

Natural 20.

Biggest laugh of the night: the look on my face as I tried to mentally work out the logistics for a giant wolf pulling someone's trousers off Extremely Well, followed by "Okay. So. You know the tablecloth trick?" 

We all learned something about snake anatomy that day, and the new catch-phrase of our D&D group became "Sorry about your browser history, DM." After cry-laughing as a group for several minutes straight, I finally had Zo wade into this mess and start answering questions.

She was startled that they'd managed to keep the yuan-ti alive and contained (as was I, honestly, since that wasn't a possibility I'd planned for) and agreed to have the Clasp take him into custody. I am Extremely Delighted that this villain is alive. The group was very concerned about Lyra, and Zo agreed to pull some strings with the city's guard to get her released. The party brought up the death of the Clasp's protector dragon in the mountains, and Zo fell silent for half a minute, processing what that meant. Finally, they all agreed to meet up at Orshi's tavern the next day. Orshi offered to let them stay, whereupon they revealed that his place was kind of ransacked and they may have left a severed head on one of the shelves in his back room. As you do. 

They were on their way back, had their interaction with the satyr, and managed to hit nearly every answer I'd prepared for, and we called it a night from there.

Next session: wrapping up this plot, downtime, and a little fleshing out of backstories while everyone paints minis!