#...i've talked about these ideas before but not really in this way and outlining each broad camp

[uncanny-tranny]

Something interesting I've noticed about people is whether they view a diagnosis as prescriptivist or descriptivist.

Somebody who views a disability or illness as a matter of prescriptivism will often only believe somebody has a condition if they can prove it by way of a diagnosis. They will view a diagnosis almost as though it is given to you by a doctor or psychiatrist, that they are the people who can truly prove you are right or wrong, that they know best.

Somebody who views a disability or illness as descriptivist will see a diagnosis as, essentially, an official observation into behaviours or states of being that the person in question is experiencing. The descriptivist route entails the idea that somebody who will eventually be given a diagnosis is already experiencing something wrong, and that medical professionals ought to be working to observe all the symptoms the patient is experiencing and line them up with other observations (diagnoses) we have already observed in others.

I think it's important to recognize these two general attitudes about diagnosis. If you want to ally yourself with disabled people, it helps to learn how to view diagnosis as more in line with the descriptivist mindset, I think.

[vax-merstappen]

sun and moon (dr3)

no bc i am obsessed with his tattoos! fair warning i don't know anything about how getting tattoos works so bear with me lol. hope you enjoy!

summary: what better way to celebrate your anniversary than to get matching tattoos?

warning: suggestive content at the end, getting tattoos

When you had started dating Daniel a few years ago, the first thing that had caught your attention was his tattoos. The rose by his wrist when he held your hand, the astronaut on his arm when he took off his shirt, and the various images on his thigh when he slept over at your place. You loved how they looked on him and thought they made him even more attractive.

You had a few small tattoos of your own, but nothing compared to Daniel's. Just a few pictures that were incredibly meaningful to you.

Little did your boyfriend know that you had an idea for another.

Your 3-year anniversary was in a week and you had been scouting out nearby tattoo artists to find one that would be perfect for what you had in mind. Of course you could have asked Daniel where to go, but you needed this to be surprise. As the days ticked closer, you got more and more excited for the real day of your anniversary. You had made all of the preparations and were so ready to make the day special for your boyfriend.

On the day of, you waited patiently for Daniel to get back from work. He had promised to leave an hour early to get more time with you on the special day and true to his word, you heard his car pull in the driveway right on time.

When Daniel opened the door, he was holding a bouquet of your favorite flower and a white box in his other hand.

"Happy anniversary, babe," he said, handing you the flowers and setting down the box on the counter. You smelled the blooms before pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Happy anniversary," you whispered into his ear.

You pulled apart and looked at the absolutely beaming smile on Daniel's face. You couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Open the box," he instructed, and you walked over to the counter to see what was inside. As you lifted the lid, you saw a beautiful romantic cake that was covered in frosting shaped like flowers. If it tasted as good as it looked, it would be an absolutely divine treat.

"It's stunning, Danny!" you exclaimed.

"So I thought we could spend the night here together?" he asked, checking if you had the same idea.

"Actually..." you began. "I have a surprise for you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

You handed him an envelope with a wax seal on it. You couldn't stop yourself from smiling and fidgeting with your fingers, the anticipation of him opening the envelope more than you could take.

You watched him peel the seal off and open up the paper inside. He read the words and you watched his face light up.

"An appointment for matching tattoos! You know I've been begging you to get one for months!"

"I know, Danny. I wanted to wait for a special day like today."

He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you, lifting you up and spinning you around. "I can't believe it, a special tattoo with my special girl."

You giggled. "Now let's get going, I don't want to wait any longer."

---

You talked on the way to the studio and decided on a design both you and Daniel had talked about wanting in the past. Daniel would get a sun tattoo on his right forearm and you would get a moon tattoo on your left one. That way when you held hands, the sun and the moon would be next to each other.

You walked into the tattoo studio together and presented the artist with the simple design you wanted. After creating the outlines for each of you, you had to decide who would go first. Daniel almost volunteered to go first, but you told him you really wanted to. It was your idea to go today after all.

As you put your arm out for the artist to tattoo, Daniel held your other hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. It hurt a little as the artist began working, but you took comfort in Daniel's presence. When you got particularly uncomfortable at one part, you felt Daniel squeeze your hand in response, him somehow sensing your uneasiness.

When you were done, you put on the proper covering for the tattoo and moved so that Daniel was now sitting in the chair to be tattooed. You smiled at him, so happy to be doing this with the man you truly loved. You watched the image of the sun appear on his arm as the artist worked.

After it was over, you pulled Daniel into a hug. Now when you were apart, you would still be tethered to him in a more physical way. When you would glance at your arm, a reminder of the sun on his would come to you.

"So did you like the surprise?" you asked Daniel.

"Of course I did, my love. You know I always wanted to get a matching tattoo with you. You're the moon to my sun and now I'll never forget that."

You felt warm inside at his words. Never had you thought you could be so special to someone.

"I love you, Daniel. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary."

The tattoo artist cleared their throat.

"Maybe we should continue this at home?" Daniel asked with a smirk.

"I would like nothing more."

You paid for the work and left the studio, headed back to your place to finish your anniversary night in a special way. You pulled into the driveway and both of you rushed into the house and into your shared bedroom.

"You know we're supposed to avoid excessive sweating within the first few days after a tattoo?" you asked, raising your eyebrow.

Daniel looked you in the eyes. "Well we shouldn't let that stop us should we? We only get one anniversary night a year, you know."

"Maybe we can go slow tonight?" you asked. "I don't want to ruin such a special tattoo."

"If that's what you want, babe, I'll make it happen. But you know I like to make you sweat."

"Ok, Mr. High Performance Athlete."

He laughed before wrapping his arms around you and slowly beginning to take off your clothes. You knew that this would be a night to remember, and it wasn't even over yet.

[mintjeru]

first encounter florist alhaitham for @viraseii 🌻 thank you for your donation to @hkvthm-action!!

open for better quality | no reposts | extensive brainrot under the cut (don't say i didn't warn you)

ok so i created an entire backstory for the two of them while i was drawing ;u; enjoy!!

kaveh and alhaitham go to the same university and kaveh, who is a year or so ahead of alhaitham, graduates at the end of this year

even though they have different majors (kaveh studies architecture, alhaitham studies linguistics), the two of them share a humanities elective course this semester

alhaitham sits in the middle or back rows and he usually arrives to lecture early so he can read his books in peace until class starts

he often sits with a notetaker in class but they're just acquaintances; alhaitham mostly keeps to himself

meanwhile, kaveh is a really proactive student so he sits in the front rows. he is often found conversing with the students around him.

as such, alhaitham knows of kaveh (the popular guy that keeps answering the professor's questions) but kaveh doesn't know of alhaitham (he doesn't really have a reason to turn around in his seat)

alhaitham lives in the area and he works part-time at his grandma's flower shop! he looked into flower language in his spare time because he liked the idea of tangible objects holding various symbolic meanings. it was similar to the signified-signifier concepts outlined in the semantics papers he read in his linguistics classes.

one day, kaveh comes strolling into the shop during alhaitham's shift because he needs flowers for a project

alhaitham mentions that they're in the same elective class and the two begin talking about the professor and their homework for that day. time flies as they're both intrigued by each other's ideas on the course concepts. by the time the next customer comes in and alhaitham is called away to help, the two walk away deeming each other an interesting conversation partner.

after that day, they begin to talk in class and spend time chatting in the flower shop

whenever kaveh comes by to buy flowers or a gift, alhaitham gives him a small flower as a bonus

it starts with a yellow tulip ("there is sunshine in your smile," it's the first thing alhaitham notices about him. he later finds that the corners of his lips tend to rise when kaveh is around.)

next is a goldenrod (encouragement, kaveh was struggling with a modeling project but alhaitham knew he was capable enough to make it work)

after that is a yellow calla lily (friendship and shared values, kaveh and alhaitham finished a group project and found out they received the highest grade in the class!)

and then a little sunflower (silent love, kaveh had fallen asleep on the library desk studying for their midterm the other night and while he would never admit it, alhaitham spent a significant amount of time admiring the way the lamplight cast a soft golden glow over his features)

at some point, kaveh asks why alhaitham keeps giving him flowers as that surely cannot be good for business. he also seems to keep picking yellow flowers.

alhaitham simply replies that it's better for the older flowers to go to kaveh, who can appreciate them, rather than for them to sit in the shop wilting. besides, they're the same color as kaveh's hair. not that alhaitham stares at the way his hair catches the sunlight or anything.

after finals are over but before the university's graduation ceremony, kaveh visits the flower shop once more

this time, alhaitham is waiting for him with a single red tulip

"this is a familiar sight. i remember the first one you gave me was yellow. are we moving on to red now?"

alhaitham responds to his question with another question: "did you know that the color of the flower affects its meaning?"

kaveh pauses for a bit. "oh, you mean in flower language? i think i've heard of that before, yeah."

alhaitham glances down at the tulip and then back up to kaveh.

most of the time, he doesn't care what others think of him. he's always been focused on his own interests and learning as much as he can, but it seems that things are different when it comes to kaveh. their relationship is fine as it is now, but why is it that he wants so badly for it to change?

it would be so easy for alhaitham to give him another excuse: the tulip matches the color of kaveh's eyes after all. but kaveh is graduating soon. he'll be moving away and given the distance, there's no telling how easy it'll be for them to keep in touch. if there's any time to bring his feelings to light, it's right now.

"so," kaveh starts. "what does a red tulip mean?"

alhaitham closes his eyes. he inhales, holds his breath for a second, and exhales. he makes his choice. when he opens his eyes again-

"a declaration of love."

kaveh stares at him, and for a second, alhaitham worries that he's made the wrong decision. but then kaveh breaks into a smile.

he reaches into his bag and carefully pulls out a red rose

"before you ask, no, i didn't buy this; it had fallen from one of the rose bushes on campus. i'm loyal to your grandma's shop, ok?" he offers the rose to alhaitham and cracks a bashful grin. "i may not be well-versed in the language of flowers, but i think this flower has a rather obvious meaning, don't you think? looks like you beat me to it."

alhaitham feels the blood rush to his ears as the two exchange flowers.

then, kaveh lifts his free hand and opens his palm. alhaitham places his hand in kaveh's, and their fingers intertwine. kaveh looks down at their hands and brushes his thumb across the top of alhaitham's. he smiles to himself.

"oh no, please don't tell me all the flowers you gave me were picked based on their meanings," kaveh sighs. "i can't believe i never thought to look them up."

alhaitham squeezes kaveh's hand and relishes in the warmth of kaveh's palm against his. "don't worry, i'll tell you starting now."

[esoteric-joke]

Interview with Brooklyn_Babylon

(#Interview3)

Welcome to the next interview of the Dear Writer Project. This Sunday I’m here with Gina (twopoppies here on Tumblr). Thank you so much for participating and supporting my project. It was a pleasure to interview you.

Gina about her writing process, her inspirations and what she finds most challenging about writing:

What does your writing process look like?

Oh, you're going to call me out right from the get-go, huh? LOL! My writing process is that I am a complete pantser. I hate outlining and I'm not good at it (probably why I hate it). I generally get inspired by something visual and then build a story around that. The difficulty is that often, there's a concept, but there's no real story to tell. Or, I can't quite flesh it out enough to make it worth writing. But when something connects, I go bother India (indiaalphawhiskey on Tumblr) who is my beta/BFF/cheerleader and we'll talk through the story idea.

She's super helpful in terms of pushing me to think it through enough that I can write a very basic outline of what needs to happen to get from A to B. Then, I wing it. LOL!

What does writing mean to you?

From the time I was a kid, I've always been involved in doing something artistic--from fine art, to costume design, to writing, etc. I've just always needed some way to express myself, creatively. It took me a long time to get comfortable writing fiction because there are a few people in my family who are highly respected authors, and I felt I needed something of my own to sink my teeth into. But now that I've started, I realize how much I do love it (even when I hate it), and how much it allows me to dig deep into my own thoughts and emotions and be more self-aware. Beyond that, I think I'm at my most comfortable when I feel I'm helpful/supportive/nurturing. I used to write non-fiction that gave me that outlet. It's interesting that I can see those aspects in my fiction writing, as well.

Do you know before you start writing if an idea is going to become a oneshot or a longer fic?

I can generally tell if there's enough of a story to make it a chaptered fic. Sometimes the chapters just separate naturally.

Like, in An Invincible Summer, the story unfolded so that each chapter was a different month. But I had a basic idea of how I wanted the story to progress over that time period. I think, for the most part, I let the story dictate how it's going to flow.

You don’t write (or publish) as regularly as some other writers in the fandom. Why is that and would you like to write/publish more in the future?

Part of the reason is that I have a really busy life outside of the fandom (and writing). I also don't like to write just to fill up space. And I don't want to publish anything I don't think is the best I'm capable of at that moment.

On top of that, I'm just not one of those people who has a million stories in my head. I'm very visually stimulated and there are long periods of time where I just don't feel inspired. I also second-guess myself a lot and often end up shelving my WIPs. And... even when I'm inspired, I tend to write slowly. I like to take time to make sure I'm really saying what I want to say in the best way I can. I want to grow and challenge myself with each story I publish. I just don't see a point in doing it without that sort of intention.

On which of your stories did you write the longest?

I think An Invincible Summer probably took the longest. But it was also one of the easiest for me to write because the story just wrote itself in some ways. I had a much clearer picture from the start of how things were going to unfold. At the same time, there were moments that just happened as I wrote that ended up shifting the story from what I'd originally planned.

I recently went back and re-wrote that fic, adding another 10K to flesh it out better. I'm so much happier with it (even though I loved it before), but I haven't published the updated version on AO3. Not sure whether I will.

Which of your stories came together the fastest?

The first one (Whoever, However). But it's also only 9K. Harry dropped that Beauty Papers spread and my brain exploded. The story was all there. I think Hike Up Your Skirt was probably the next quickest (again, it's not terribly long), but that one I originally wrote for the Anonymous Unicorns collection so there was a lot of freedom in getting to write anything I wanted without fear of judgment. If I could only harness that, I'd be able to bang them out!

What fic of yours was the hardest to write?

I think Literally Making Love.

It was an unusual premise, in that it's about a robot and a human falling in love, but I really struggled with whether I should make it "more" than a love story. It felt like it deserved to be "more", or that it should have more about how AI changes the world and a conversation about loneliness and the way the world contributes to that. So I kept feeling like I wasn't going down the right path with what I was writing, but India reminded me that there's just as much value in a lighthearted story as there is in "serious" writing. We all know the joy of sinking into a comfort fic, or kicking our feet at something really sweet and happy. So I let Literally Making Love be what it wanted to be and I was ultimately super proud of it. And, in the end, I think I did a good job of dealing with the ethical issues, even though I didn't make that the center of the fic.

What inspires you most while writing?

Visuals to begin with. I tend to get inspired by photos or a piece of art. Sometimes song lyrics. But visuals keep me going so I make moodboards for myself and I find quotes or pictures on Tumblr that feel like they belong to the story. I think all of my fics have a link to an inspiration tag on my blog.

And then talking through things with India.

It's so helpful to have someone who gets what you're shooting for and who has the same sense of what makes for good writing. So I'll brainstorm with her when I'm stuck or give her sections to see if it's reading the way I want it to... It keeps me going.

I don't know how writers do it all by themselves. There are times when I've read something so many times that I can't even tell if it's any good. And I do the same for her... helping her get through her writing challenges or brainstorming her projects also makes me a better writer.

In the notes of Literally Making Love you mentioned a 9 month long writers block. What helped you out of it?

Truly it was just that piece of fan art I linked in the note at the start. I'd never seen that artist's work before and this drawing of Louis building an unfinished Harry ended up on my dash and I said, "Well, I'd read the hell out of that." Sadly, no one else was going to write it for me, so I had to do it myself.

While talking about this, I pointed out that I searched a few tags of this particular trope after I finished reading Literally Making Love and couldn’t find more than a handful of fics, which I was surprised by.

Gina thinks people are put off by the idea even if there are so many ways to handle it that could make for a beautiful story.

What do you find most challenging about writing?

I was about to say finding a title, but then I realized that I only had trouble with that in two of the five I wrote.

Hmm. Honestly, I think the most difficult thing for me to write are arguments/fights.

I tend to be really passive-aggressive when I argue, and that doesn't make for very good reading. So I really have to work at crafting a back-and-forth that feels natural but also packs enough of a punch for the scene to work. In An Invincible Summer, the argument scene was pretty pivotal, and one of my betas at the time made me re-write it three times before she signed off on it.

Is there anything you can tell me about future projects you’re planning?

I'm working on another historical fic at the moment. It's slow burn and longer than anything I've written before. So that's a challenge. It's set in the 1880s between the Belle Epoch debauchery and decadence of Paris, and Victorian London's rigid social structure and moral conservatism. Basically, Harry is a French ballet dancer turned sex worker/courtesan. Louis is a British aristocrat whose father has sent him off to Paris to get "the gay" out of his system before he has to marry. There are some twists and turns, and I'm having a lot of fun trying to keep things sexy and exciting for a modern reader while still being true to the time period.

I still don't have a title, and I'm still working on a brief description to sum it up. But... I'm about 60K in and I'm having fun.

When I told Gina that that sounds like you’d have to but lot of research into it, she said:

So much research! But I actually love that part. I get really into the nitty gritty and look up everything. For example, did you know the ice cream cone wasn't invented until 1896 (although not patented until 1903)? LOL! I had to change a scene I was writing because all of a sudden, I thought, "Did they have ice cream then? How did they keep it cold? How did they eat it?" I honestly hate reading something when little details are wrong. It totally pulls me out of a story.

For the next part of the interview, I asked Gina a few questions about her works in particular.

Gina about her favourite scene she wrote, her experience with writing before writing fanfics and being inspired by her own family’s history:

What work of yours is your personal favourite?

Hm. I think Literally Making Love is my favorite because it's the most unique concept, and I'm really proud of some of the writing in that one.

Hike Up Your Skirt is, I think, my most popular one. But that's not surprising because it's complete filth.

Do you have a favourite scene that you wrote?

There's a scene in Literally Making Love when they're walking the dog through the woods, and they're talking about the concept of being lonely, and Harry realizes he's the only one in the world who can understand anything he's experienced. I just really loved how that scene came together. To me it's very visual, and it's got that kind of poetic, dreamy feeling to it that I love to find in fics (and am forever trying to emulate, but I think that might be the only time I've succeeded so far).

I told Gina that this was a scene that definitely made me think about the concept of being all alone with an experience. Here’s what she said about that:

I like moments in a story that make you stop and think about more than just the story you're reading. I think these days, we can much more easily connect with others who can understand most of our experiences very deeply. Although, I imagine if you were the only highly advanced AI robot in the world, you might have some experiences no one else has had to grapple with.

Is there a work of yours that was planned to go completely different than it came out in the end?

There are definitely moments within the stories that I never planned on, and they changed some aspects of how the story ultimately came together.

For example, in An Invincible Summer, the idea for Harry to hold on to memories by getting a camera popped out of nowhere.

In Literally Making Love, the scene of Louis painting Harry's tattoos over his scars came in a dream and that meant I added the aspect of Harry's body dysmorphia. So, little things for sure.

Whoever, However was your first fic you published. Did you write in any form before that?

I did.

I wrote non-fiction for a bunch of magazines and online outlets. I've also ghostwritten three books.

Beyond that, no. Just lengthy blog posts about two gay boybanders.

What were your inspirations for gathered on wings?

There was a photo of Louis in some sort of haphazardly layered jackets and standing in front of these graffitied walls, and it had this caption, saying that he looked like a PhD candidate at the Sorbonne. That was how the idea started.

I had wanted to write a teacher/student fic without the creepy aspect of grooming and inappropriate conduct, and somehow my comment led to Harry having been his intern and them meeting again years later.

Then, the research on all the modern art and the high-end art world informed the rest of the story.

You didn’t go much into detail how successful Harry’s art got after ‘Comrade’ recommended his art for an exhibition at the Marlborough Gallery. Was that the push Harry’s work needed to get the attention it deserved?

It was.

He'd been relying on sugar daddies to pay his way and to give him the connections to patrons. But Comrade vouching for him opened the doors to him being able to do it independently. It's that feeling of, "If I could just get my foot in the door, I could show them what I can do."

That was his foot in the door.

Gathered on wings was my first attempt at writing a chaptered fic, and there was a huge learning curve. There are parts of it I really like and parts I sometimes want to go back and re-write.

Do you think Louis’ identity in gathered on wings always stayed hidden even after they got engaged (and eventually married)?

I like to imagine that as Harry became more widely known, people became interested in his partner. And Louis would then decide to reveal his identity with a new installation that they collaborated on.

Staying hidden when your partner is famous is probably a hard thing to do.

I think so. Especially if you're in the same field. In a way, it mirrors the idea of the two of them coming out at some point.

You said in the notes for An Invincible Summer that it’s inspired by your grandfather’s life. Was that your only inspiration for the story?

It's what set the scene. Other than that, I knew I wanted to write about writing and seeing yourself in a book or feeling understood by someone you never met but who's somehow written about you and your life. The concept of feeling really "seen" is something that shows up again and again for me.

You didn’t go into any detail about Harry’s relationship with his adoptive parents after he left at the end of An Invincible Summer, even though his mother tried to support him as much as she could when he had to leave. Do you think they held contact after Harry was forced to leave or if he/they even went back as a part of H & L’s adventures?

I think Harry managed to stay in touch with his mother secretly and to eventually reunite with his sisters.

When I rewrote the story, I changed the middle sister to a brother to show another way that Harry was treated differently. So I imagine Big Jim and the little brother digging their heels in and acting like he never existed. But Harry and Louis eventually had a beautiful and extensive found family.

The end of Hike Up your Skirt (And Show Your World To Me) is pretty much open. How do you think their relationship progressed and do you think they have a chance of having a normal (as in no power imbalance or manipulation) relationship?

Mmm. I actually started writing a second part from Harry's POV where you see that Harry is also playing a game to get Louis to fall for him. I see their relationship becoming a 24/7 Dom/Sub life. I think they're both way too kinky and maybe a little too depraved to have a "normal" relationship.

Are any of your original characters inspired by people you know in your day-to-day life?

No, actually. LOL! Very simple answer. They're all just figments of my imagination.

A lot of other writers in the fandom have difficulties or are just a little uncomfortable with writing smut. That doesn’t seem to be the case for you. Why’s that?

HAHAHAHA! No, I think it’s actually the easiest part for me to write. I’m not sure why. I don’t have a lot of hang ups around sex, so maybe that helps. And I love the idea of character development through intimate scenes.

How did you come up with the idea for your fic rec masterpost here on Tumblr and how did all of that start?

I think it just started because someone asked if I could recommend some fics in a particular category (If I remember correctly, it might have been dystopian fics). And I had too much time on my hands, so I decided to make a header and write little blurbs about why I liked each one I was suggesting.

Somehow that turned into a deluge of people asking for different things and, for whatever reason, I had the time at that moment. So I made rec after rec.

At some point it was annoying that people kept asking for the same things, so I just made an alphabetical masterpost.

Is there a specific trope or genre you’d like to read more of?

Oh, that's a good question. It's so much easier to tell you what I don't like.

Honestly, to me, it's really more about the writing than about the trope or genre. But I do really like a good enemies-to-lovers fic, and if you can write a new twist on a fake relationship, I'm all in.

Do you somehow track the fics you’ve read? And if you do, can you give me a rough number of how many you’ve read?

So, I only bookmark fics I've really loved. Obviously some I love more than others, but I currently have 655 fics bookmarked.

I've been reading in this fandom for 11 years. Some I won't have read all the way through, but counting those, I'm sure I've literally read thousands.

I've gone through periods where I've just got a lot more free time at one point or another. And when I entered the fandom in 2013 there were literally so many terrific fics I didn't know where to start.

And every time you turned around there was another. It was very addicting.

Are you reading anything right now? If not, what was the last thing you’ve read?

I have a hard time reading when I'm actively writing, so nothing really recent.

The last fic I read that I really liked was Danger I Can't Hide by CelticSky. It's actually a WWII fic but set on the airbase where H is a pilot and Louis is a mechanic. It's just so well written and so well researched. Highly recommend.

For the next part of the interview, Gina answered some personal questions about her experiences in the fandom.

Since when are you in the fandom and what made you become a fan?

Since November 2013.

I took my daughter (who was 6 at the time) to see This Is Us. Did a little research to make sure this boy band was appropriate for her and then fell in love with them. We ended up seeing the movie three times, then bought it and watched it at home. She was a Niall girl.

She was my concert buddy for a while. One Direction at the Rose Bowl in 2014 was her first concert.

The weirdest comment you got?

Oh, I get some doozies on Tumblr.

I think one of my favorites was from years ago when I used to do a lot of NSFW fan art. I got an anonymous message from someone claiming to be Harry's lawyer and they were demanding I delete all of my fan art of Harry. HAHAHAHA! Like an attorney would send an anon. Or even ask for something like that. I still laugh when I think about that one.

Harry or Louis?

It's very hard to choose because they're both amazing. I'm a Harry girl from way back. But I obviously love and support Louis, too.

Harry just really inspires me in so many ways. And his music is more my speed.

Your favourite Harry era and your favourite Louis era?

Oh, that's hard. I think Harry's recent era (Harry's House) might be my favorite because he seemed so happy and so self-assured and confident in who he is as a person. He looked fantastic too. Other eras are special to me because of what was going on with the fandom at the time, or because I liked the way he dressed or whatever, but in terms of just enjoying him, I'd have to say this last tour.

Louis is a little more difficult for me because I've had a really hard time with his image over this last tour and his doubling down on babygate. I'm very happy he says he's really happy and proud of his album/tour, but if I had to pick my favorite I feel like he looked the healthiest and most at ease during MITAM promo. Oh, he looked great during his Walls promo, too.

Your favourite movie with H?

My Policeman. It was a bit uneven, but he really blew me away in some of his scenes. He understood that character inside and out.

Your favourite writer(s) in the fandom?

I actually have so many that I like, although many aren’t in our fandom anymore.

It might be easier to link you to a Favorite Authors rec I made a while ago.

What are your absolute favourite fics in the fandom?

I’m going to make it easy on myself again and link you to a Favourite Fics rec.

Is there a fic that is not necessarily your favourite but still always kind of stuck in your head ?

There are fics that aren’t necessarily the most groundbreaking or complex, but something about them makes me keep coming back to re-read. Don't kill me, but... My Favorite Re-Reads.

I wanted to give you a favorite out of that list, but as I scrolled I was like, oh wait, that one! No, that one! So... sorry, you get them all.

What makes you want to stop reading something?

Hm. So many things, honestly.

Writing where people try too hard to be poetic, continuous spelling and grammar mistakes, miscommunication as the only tension, no tension at all, characterizations that make no sense to me, fics that go on and on and on with no attempt at editing, kid fics, etc. I really have very few squicks, but bad writing is hard for me to ignore (I know "bad" is subjective, so I hope no one takes offense at that... just because I don't like it doesn't mean others don't love it).

Your favourite song at the moment?

Chappell Roan is stuck in my head lately. So, I'll say Casual (although Pink Pony Club is a bop).

Your favourite season?

Fall. Absolutely. SO fucking sick of summer.

The most unusual thing that inspired you?

LOL! I'd have to say the Vintage "Sleaze" novel that inspired Hike Up Your Skirt. It was called "Horizontal Secretary".

Who would you most like to read an interview from?

Well, I'm obviously going to say India because I think she's a great writer. But she's also so well-spoken and interesting.

I'd love to read an interview with CelticSky because I loved Danger I Can't Hide so much and I don't know them since they're on Twitter!

Lastly I asked Gina to give every work of hers a colour. Here’s the outcome of that:

Whoever, However -- yellow

Whoever, However is yellow, because when I think about it, I picture the warm, yellow shade of the wood paneling of the room they filmed in.

gathered on wings -- blue

I’m not sure why gathered on wings is blue in my head. Maybe it’s just because that’s the main color of the mood board I made.

An Invincible Summer -- green

An Invincible Summer is green because the rural Georgia setting became one of the characters of the fic. When I think about it, I see the sprawling farm, the rampant kudzu, blueberry fields, lunch under the oak trees… it just feels green to me.

Literally Making Love -- red

Literally Making Love is red because so much of the story is about what it means to be human and even though Harry’s heart isn’t “real” at some point he says to Louis, “Sometimes I feel like you made my heart too small because it doesn’t hold everything I feel for you. I feel it overflowing everywhere.” Or, maybe it’s because it has “Love” in the title. LOL!

Hike Up Your Skirt (And Show Your World To Me) -- purple

I don’t know. The first thought that came to me was purple because I pictured Harry’s character with love bite bruises.

A huge thank you to Gina again. Thank you for being so open and honest while answering my questions. I had the best time talking to you and was so invested in every work of yours.

[justin-chapmanswers]

Was there a different way [like work flow and stuff like that] you guys wrote season 3 differently from season 2? If so will you continue that flow into season 2?

Also do you have any tips on how to mange an object show since you've worked on II for a long time?

[The voices you do in II are so funky and I mean this in the best way possible]

Thank you so much! My funky voices are incredibly grateful.

Near the end of the pre-Invitational season two, the process was generally that we'd talk out where we want to go next, have our big debates, and Brian and I would draft up an outline for the team. Then the writing would start and, as it was for almost every season two episodes before Invitational, the group would just jump into a Google Doc and we'd write, together, chronologically until we'd get burnt out. Some of us were thinking of the minutiae on-the-fly, some of us would draft up practice-scripts ahead of time to work off of. It was chaotic, but then we'd spend a long while reworking/rewriting scenes.

Starting with Invitational, things changed. Most notably, we started having one writer per episode instead of jumping into the chaos. Having four writers in at once didn't help, it just made things complicated. It was about learning to let go a bit and trust the rest of the team to do a good job. We'd still of course chat about the events well-ahead of time, but then the writer would be the one to outline and pitch that outline to the team before writing. And then in revisions, we'd give notes to the writer instead of individually taking cracks at scenes. That way, the whole episode became one person's singular artistic vision. By the end of Invitational, we also weren't doing the "have our big debates" part of the process, anymore. We still would push for ideas we're passionate about, but it's been a long while since we weren't agreeable and on the same page.

So then there's the question about season two. We've been generally sticking to the Invitational way of going about things with season two, except also with Brian and I being back on outlining, and it's been going really great! Before Invitational, the pre-writing and writing time used to be the longest parts of the episode process. And not because we were spending that whole time being productive. It was common that the pre-writing planning part of the episode would be a little intense so we'd often take breaks after the previous episode's completion (plus because it's nice to take time to clear our heads) as to not jump back into chaos. And then carving time for all of us to be in the space for hours at a time while balancing school/life was tough to schedule. That all to say, now, the writing process is efficient and super-not-chaotic (aka healthy!). Instead of a few months at that stage, we're there maybe like a month and a half, from early concept (aside from the stuff we've been thinking up for years already haha) to final draft. And that's all while we've been overlapping episodes that are each at different stages, with their own things to get done. I think what we've been cooking up is gonna be really special. <3

I've been rambling for a while so I'll (try to) keep this next part short. As for the question about managing projects, that's just a tricky one cause I'd normally tailor the advice depending on the scale of the project, the amount of experience for those going in, etc. But in a broad sense I'd say do everything you can to work specifically with the people who make you excited to work. Whose ideas inspire you. If you're leading, really try to understand every step of the process. Definitely trust parts of the pipeline to other people if it's not your cup of tea, but really understand what they do. Say thank you every chance you get. If you're having fun with your show, whether it be the goofiest or most-serious of all shows, the viewers will, too. Making each step of production an enjoyable experience is worth fighting for.

[barrenclan]

Hey weird question but how do you write a comic? Do you write a script for important events? Do you write what each character says? Do you write background info? Please help out a person who's trying to write theirs..

From the simplest perspective, you write exactly as much as you need and not any less. There are no hard rules about this, and tons of people do it tons of different ways. But here's an example of my own, if you need an idea of one method. I'll use my other webcomic, The Dog Star, under the assumption you're working on a traditional comic instead of one like PATFW. However, I use pretty much the same system of documentation for PATFW.

Here's an except from my "notes" document for TDS, which is where I write down things like my basic ideas, any backstories for characters, things I want to expand on, random ideas, etc.

I find it helpful to have a separate notes document from whatever "script" you're working off of, so you can keep them clean and easy to distinguish.

Here's an excerpt from my "script" document of part of the scene described above. For my comic, I write it as if it were a movie script, with dialogue against any necessary notes that will help me remember a specific emotion, choreogrophy, or scene-setting device.

Personally, I did all of my scripting before I started TDS, but I like to work from a really solid base before I begin something. I know plenty of people who only write dialogue, or write it as they go with only outlines of plans. This also doesn't mean that my script is set in stone; since I began TDS, I've added 40 pages worth of new dialogue and adapted almost all of what I had before. It's all up to you.

I've talked about writing tips before on this blog - check out the "advice" tag if you think you might need anything else.

[choccyhearts]

Clogged Drain (Eddie Munson x Reader) (18+)

Note: I've had this idea buzzing around my head for a while ^_^ not sure when part 2 will be posted tho

CW: 18+!! Oral sex (m & f), recorded sex, talk of pornos, looots of dirty talk/innuendos, fem!/afab!reader

You and Eddie have always had a healthy sex life. Always willing to try anything, you guys have discovered things about each other you didn't know were there!

A few years into marriage, you anticipated the inevitable dry spell to happen, but it never did. You both came up with spicy ideas to keep things interesting.

So, one day you came up with an interesting fantasy that Eddie immediately got on board with.

A sex tape.

You joked about how silly, but also really hot, it would be to film a sex tape. Eddie thought it was a great idea, but you wanted to take it a little further. You told him you wanted to shoot it like a real trashy porno movie -- a stupid plot, bad acting, euphemisms and innuendos aplenty, and a variety of camera angles.

Eddie was a little skeptical, worried you wanted to film an actual film in front of people, but you reassured him the two of you could pull it off.

You already owned a video camera and some tapes, so your fantasy wasn't too hard to create. All you had left to do was get some costumes and a basic outline for a script and you were set.

And that's how you ended up standing in the kitchen wearing a skimpy dress and an apron with heels pretending to wash dishes. The video camera was pointed at you as it sat on the counter behind you.

Eddie walks in wearing an unbuttoned shirt with a white tank top underneath, a pair of old jeans, his pair of work boots and clutched in his hand is his tool box.

"'Scuse me ma'am," Eddie drawls.

You turn and face him surprised.

"Oh! Hello! You must be the plumber!" He nods.

"Yes ma'am. Sorry I let myself in, door was open", his eyes scan your body.

"Oh it's no problem at all!" You stop "washing the dishes" and take off your rubber gloves.

"So, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well", you bend over and open the cabinet under the sink. "This has been having trouble draining, I think it's clogged." You turn to him and innocently bat your eyes.

Eddie stares at your ass as it peaks out from under your dress. Already, he's sporting a semi just from looking at his beautiful wife.

He clears his throat," Clogged drain? That's an easy fix. Shouldn't take me too long..."

You move out of the way and let him kneel down to inspect under the sink.

"That's so good to hear! I guess it must've been a while since I had my...drain snaked. I would do it myself but...I think other people do it best." You twirl your hair as you gaze down at Eddie. He looks up at you, a smirk on his face.

"Of course, ma'am. Sometimes it takes a new set of hands to reach the right spot." Eddie winks and you walk over to the camera to turn it off.

Immediately, you both burst into giggles. Eddie waves for you to come over to him but you shake your head.

"Mm-mm, save it for the video."

"Ahh, baby, please. I need to touch my wife", Eddie pouts.

"And you will", you begin to set up the camera in a different angle. "Later."

Once the camera is ready, Eddie lies under the sink on his back. You press record before bringing over a glass of lemonade.

"Here you go, sir. Thought you might be thirsty from working so hard."

Eddie crawls out from under the sink and takes the lemonade.

"Ah, thank you ma'am." He takes a swig and smiles. "So sweet. Ya know, I love tasting...sweet things."

You giggle in character which makes Eddie almost break. You take the glass away from him and kneel down beside him.

"So, have you made any progress?"

"Almost. This clog seems to be a big one. Must've been a real long time since you had it fixed, huh?"

"Yes sir", you blush.

"Well, in the future, you should call me. Don't want it getting to the point of frustration, would we?"

"No sir", you shake your head. You feel your pussy throb as you begin to get turned on. It was hard not to, honestly. In this shot, Eddie now has his button-up off and a little grease on his face.

You feel ready to pounce on him but decide to wait it out just a liiitle longer.

Eddie goes back under the sink and pretends to work. You begin to play with the collar of your dress and eye Eddie's body.

"So, do you work out for the job or is that something you do for fun?"

Eddie chuckles, hearing the way your voice wavers a bit. He can tell you're slowly getting needier and needier.

"Actually, I don't work out at all. The job keeps me in shape enough."

You sigh dreamily and gently place your hand on his stomach.

"Wow, your wife must be happy."

"Nah, don't got a wife."

"Oh...a girlfriend?"

"Nope, no girl in my life."

You hum and rub his stomach softly.

"What about you, ma'am? Pretty little thing like you's got to have a man who'd kill me if he saw me alone with you."

You giggle and slowly lift his shirt up, admiring his torso. Eddie wasn't ripped or toned, but he still looked reaaal good. He had a nice stomach with enough pudge to show he definitely ate his fair share of your cooking. He also had a gorgeous happy trail that always made you feel flushed when you saw it.

"Nope, I don't have a man. I'm all alone here...that's why I needed to call you to fix my drain."

"Aw, that's quite a shame. Bet'cha if you had a man, you'd know how to treat him right, huh?"

You notice how his bulge grows larger. You delicately run your fingers along the outline, biting your finger on your other hand.

"Yes sir. I would keep him very happy." You press down on his bulge with more pressure and he shifts his hips, wanting to just ravage you immediately.

"Hmm...seems this drain issue is bigger than I thought. It might take longer than expected. That okay?"

You nod, "Yes sir."

You go back to rubbing his dick through his jeans as he tries his best focus on not moaning just yet.

"Is there anything I can do for you while you work?"

"Mmm", he hums. "I think you know what you could do."

You smile and begin to undo his belt. Eddie feel excitement pool into his stomach. He knows what's about to happen, I mean of course he does, but for whatever reason this time is even more exciting.

You undo his pants and slide them off, leaving his underwear on. You palm him through the thin fabric and feel a wet spot soaking through.

"Wanna show me how you would keep a man happy?"

"Yes, sir."

You pull down his underwear and gasp at his size. While he knows you're doing it for the camera, Eddie can't help how much his ego swells. You slowly begin to pump his cock,face shocked by the size.

"That's a good girl", Eddie mutters.

You speed up your pace, rubbing your thumb over the tip. You can't help but marvel at Eddie. This is definitely not your first time, but just getting to sit back and really get a look at him makes you truly drink in his beauty.

"Think you could suck it?"

"Mmm, yes, sir."

You let a glob of spit fall on to the head of his cock, using your hand to lubricate his size. You slowly lean your head down before sitting back up.

"Wait!"

"What's wrong?", Eddie struggles to quickly get out from under the sink.

"Need to change the angle!" You get up and stop recording. You take the camera off of the tripod and hold it out for Eddie. "Here!"

"You want me to...?"

"Yeah, it'll be interesting, like 'POV'!""

"Alright, as long as I'm the only one who sees this 'POV'." You giggle and nudge Eddie before sitting back on the floor.

Eddie leans his back against the cabinet and begins recording.

You wrap your hand around his cock again and slowly lower your head down. You kiss the tip before opening your mouth and taking him in. Eddie sucks his teeth as he watches you.

He's seen you do this countless amount of times but seeing it through the viewfinder makes it feel sexier.

He gently sets a hand in your hair.

"Ooh, such a good girl. Mmm, you suck it so nice."

You hum in acknowledgement and continue hollowing your cheeks around him. Eddie brushes your hair away from your face and strokes your cheek. You continue stroking the length you can't fit in your mouth, your other arm propped up on his legs for balance.

"Oh, christ. Your mouth feels so good, baby." Eddie is usually a dirty talker during sex, so this isn't much different than your usual times together. However, since it's now on camera, recorded forever, you think his dirty talk is hotter. Despite the fact that this tape will never see the light of day, if someone were to see it, they'd know how good you take care of Eddie. How quickly you can turn him into putty in your hands.

After a few more minutes, Eddie begins to get antsy.

"You're such a good girl, lemme show that pussy of yours some lovin'".

He turns off the camera and sets it down. You sit up and try to fix your hair but Eddie pulls you by the throat into a kiss.

"Mmm, shit, you're so hot. I just need to fuck you now", he moans into the kiss.

"Mhm...not yet." You pull away and Eddie tucks himself back into his boxers before picking up the camera.

He presses record just as you begin to untie your apron. You pull it off and throw it far away from you.

"Such a sexy body, I need to see what's under that dress."

You blush and slowly pull the dress over your head, tossing it over to the apron. Now you're sat in a new set of lingerie, bought specifically for this occasion. Eddie nearly drools at the sight.

"Oh ffffuck, that's so sexy." You slowly pull down your panties and toss them at him. With the camera, he looks down at the panties in front of him. "Oh, sugar, they're so damp."

He lifts them up to his nose and sniffs them offscreen.

"Eddie!", you whisper shout to him, breaking character.

"What, I can't have some fun?", he says before tucking the panties in his back pocket. He points the camera back at you and you spread your legs wide open for him.

"I know you said you like sweet things, so why don't you come here and give me a taste?"

Eddie dives into your pussy, setting the camera on your stomach. You quickly hold it and angle it towards him as he eats you like a starved man.

"Oh! God!" He leans away and spits on your clit before going back in, tongue twirling around. He gently nudges his index finger against your entrance, checking if it's safe to enter. "Please, sir."

He chuckles and slips his finger inside. The wet squelches and obscene squeaks are a bit embarrassing, but honestly you couldn't even pretend to care. If there's anything Eddie's amazing at, it's eating pussy.

Your hands shake as you try to hold the camera steady. Eddie glances up at it occasionally, smirking into the lens. He'll stare straight into the camera and over enthusiastically lick your pussy, as if making sure the imaginary audience understands that this is his territory and only he gets to be down there.

After Eddie has slipped a second finger into you you're ready to hit your climax. He doesn't slow down, instead keeping a steady pace, ready for your sweet juices.

"Oooh, fuck! I'm gonna cum! Fuck, I'm gonna cum, sir!"

"Yeah, that's it, sugar. Cum for me. Cum on my fingers."

You do just that, tensly holding on to the camera while Eddie helps guide you along. Once you come down he pulls out his fingers and pops them into his mouth.

"So fucking sweet, baby. I need to get a drink from the source." He leans down and sticks his tongue inside your pussy. You whine and pull at his hair, overstimulated but loving his touch.

He slurps and kisses your pussy, eyes closed happily.

"So delicious. If I was your man, I'd have to eat you up every morning for breakfast." He sits up and licks his lips.

You smile up at him and mouth "I love you". He winks at you, letting you know he means it back.

"Well", he pulls off his tank top. "Looks like we've made some progress in that clogged drain. However, I think I need to get deeper in there to help."

"How deep, sir?", you say innocently. Eddie has to hold back a grin so he doesn't break character.

"All the way, darling."

(Part 2)

Stopping this here for a breather ^_^

[enigmaticexplorer]

ALLI!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON FINISHING IYASIF 🥳!!!!!

I have absolutely LOVED reading this series and I am so happy that you've shared it with us! It's definitely a series that I'll be revisiting forever and it's certainly a favourite of mine 💙!

My favourite parts (so far) include the firework scene (I love the effort that Wolffe was putting in to try to show Kazi how much she means to him then how she sees him in a vulnerable state), Wolffe sitting watching Kazi swim after Aro had assaulted her (I am a forever lover of how protective Wolffe is of Kazi 🤌 and I could GO ON FOREVER about it!), Neyti talking for the first time despite how sad her reason is (also where she calls Kazi her mum in her muse!!!!), and lastly, I was seriously cheering Kazi on for her first time having sex with Wolffe (I was sitting so proud that she let him get that close to her you have NO idea, I was like a proud mama hen 🥰)

While I've fallen behind, I can't wait to find more favourite parts in the coming chapters and I'm going to really miss reading IYASIF for the first time 💙!

I also need you to know that I love how you characterise all of the characters, I love their motivations and personalities !! (Fox was a favourite who snuck up on me 🥰)

Last but not least, I have some questions!

What have you enjoyed the most about writing IYASIF?

From my own writing I have redrafted plot points and outcomes so many times so, did IYASIF look different when you were first writing it?

That last question in your list is calling to me! How much of yourself and your life experiences have made it into IYASIF?

Out of all the characters, who is your favourite, to write or to read (if that gives a different answer)?

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I Yearn, and so I Fear Fic Celebration

Maia! Thank you!

You've included some of my favorite scenes (and I'm SO HAPPY you've liked them, too!)! If you like the fireworks scene, you might enjoy an upcoming scene, even if it is super short :) I, too, am a lover of protective Wolffe and him sitting there, watching Kazi, tired from lack of sleep, needing to check on her because, even though they're still becoming friends, he cares about her - something about that scene sits right with me. I'm surprised you mentioned Neyti speaking for the first time! It's an emotional moment, for me haha, and such a pivotal moment, so I'm glad you like it! And Kazi and Wolffe's first time! That was such a meaningful scene to me! All of the trust building from so many months (and so many chapters) and Wolffe's consistent patience and Kazi taking another step forward in trusting him - it all meant so much to me. Thank you for sharing your favorite scenes, I really appreciate it! (And I'm ecstatic knowing you liked the characterizations! Fox snuck up on me, too. And he did the same with Kazi haha.)

What have you enjoyed the most about writing IYASIF?

Seeing each chapter take on its final version. I am so critical of my work, and I think I've mentioned before how I won't reread things I've written because I can't stomach my old writing. But the final version of each chapter in this fic has surprised me. I find myself rereading sections when people reblog and I smile, or I chuckle, or I feel giddy. It's such a unique experience for me; I've never felt this way about a fic I've written. I wanted to give up on various occasions but I'm glad I didn't, because seeing this in its final form has been a comfort. So, I think that's what I've enjoyed the most, seeing this in final form and being proud of my writing.

From my own writing I have redrafted plot points and outcomes so many times so, did IYASIF look different when you were first writing it?

Yes! I wrote an entire outline with specific scenes for 32 chapters last May and June, and then I wrote my first draft immediately after. And then I wrote another draft. And then I started working on individual chapters and tinkering/editing/revising/rewriting them in December and throughout the posting schedule (I consider that my third draft, however, most chapters in Parts III and IV had five different drafts because I kept editing/rewriting them).

Most of the overall story remained the same: Kazi and Wolffe's relationship/individual arcs, Kazi and Daria's relationship/individual arcs; Kazi and Neyti's relationship/individual arcs; Fox's story arc.

A few things that significantly changed:

Originally, Aro was supposed to be a rebel leader. He was a questionable leader, set on destroying the Empire but willing to hurt anyone during the process, and he had an obsession with Kazi. To the point that he blackmailed her into a "relationship" with him. I scratched this entire plotline because it was too much for me. I've explored the dark writing in A New Tomorrow (which I believe you've read, so you probably know what I'm talking about) and I could not stomach writing something dark like that again. So, I removed that plotline during my outlining process in May and decided to make Aro a megalomaniac Empire sympathizer.

Along those lines, Moff Harpy was supposed to play a minor role in the story. During the first draft, I wrote in a few scenes where Kazi interacts with Moff Harpy. (It's Harpy who created a clone assassin lab and was also obsessed with tracking down traitorous clones.) However, it felt like too much. I didn't want this story to focus on the clone assassins/the Empire as much. I wanted to emphasize how normal, ordinary people are trying to survive under Imperial rule (I took inspiration from The Kite Runner) and bringing in Moff Harpy made the story too focused on trying to defeat the Empire rather than exploring what it would be like to live under a fascist government. I love stories that get into the nitty gritty about taking down the Empire, but I wanted to do something different here.

I don't want to spoil things but Daria and Cody's relationship was not in the first draft. (I get into this in a Behind the Scenes XIV, but I'll explain it here, too.) In my outline, I intended Daria and Cody to explore a relationship together. I thought their personalities matched well, and that they would be good for one another. However, I thought that readers would find it cringey that two commanders chose the two sisters. So, in my first draft, I wrote Daria having a relationship with Nova. It was AWFUL. I was forcing Nova to be someone he wasn't, and the chemistry between him and Daria was lacking. In the second draft, I said "fuck it" and rewrote Cody into the relationship with Daria. And I'm so glad I reverted to my original idea because they were such a delight to explore. (I also have delusional thoughts about writing their own fic as a companion piece to this haha.)

Those were the major changes to the story. But Parts III and IV had significant changes in each chapter between drafts 2 and 3. I'm glad that I wrote the first two drafts because it helped me decide what to include, what to remove, and what needed to be added. I felt like each draft allowed me to dive deeper into the story, the characters, the themes. And if it hadn't been for draft 1, then I never would've written the Muses! And if it hadn't been for draft 2, then I would've never dug deeper into Fox and Nova's characters! Both of whom surprised the hell out of me! Cody was a given - I actually spent so much time writing a character document for him (because I'm that person) - and didn't change much between the drafts, but Fox and Nova did! Anyway, I believe Chapters XVII through the Epilogue are all fairly different from their first versions. There are some consistencies (such as Chapter XXII being about sex, Chapter XIV being about Kazi's breakdown, Chapter XXV being about the winter holiday) but most of the scenes were drastically rewritten! And the last two chapters weren't even written because I kept telling myself I wouldn't do them justice until I was 100% sure of all the chapters leading up to them (which ended up being true).

Oh, I also had a few more smut scenes in draft 2 but I wanted to focus more on the emotional side of things rather than the physical (and I get afraid that I can't write smut well) so I removed quite a few smut scenes. I was afraid that readers might give up on the story without the additional smut, but I'm glad I made that decision.

That last question in your list is calling to me! How much of yourself and your life experiences have made it into IYASIF?

Oof, you're calling me out 😅

Honestly, I view IYasIF as a therapy project. Kazi is a direct reflection of me, my insecurities, my struggles with romantic relationships, my fears of abandonment and not being enough. Her storyline about sex and her discomfort and insecurity with it draws from my own experiences. Maybe this is embarrassing, I don't know, but writing her story was a way for me to acknowledge my insecurities, fears, and fearful-avoidant attachment style; it was a way for me to see a female character like myself [someone who isn't curvy or outgoing; someone who is aloof, and cold, and heartless (and yes, I've been called heartless by friends, in a joking way but it still stuck)] be loved, to actually be attractive to a male character. So Kazi is a reflection of myself.

As to life experiences: Kazi's resentment against her mother draws from my own experiences. Many of her conversations with Daria about marriage and loneliness and settling are conversations I've had multiple times throughout my life. Kazi's strong relationship with her father is also based on my own (my dad isn't dead, though). Her relationship with Daria draws from my relationship with my sister and how we struggled for many years (to the point that I despised my sister) and then evolved into something where we've grown closer. (Kazi and Daria have a closer relationship than my sister and I do, so perhaps I was projecting.) But their conversation in Chapter XXII about their parents is something I've thought about regarding my sister and me and our individual relationships with our parents (I am my dad's favorite, and my sister has always clung to my mom).

Out of all the characters, who is your favourite, to write or to read (if that gives a different answer)?

This is such a tough question. I loved writing Fox! He grew on me with each iteration of this story. Kazi was exhausting to write because I was writing about myself and that introspection sucks at times and weighed me down a bit; but her story was amazing to write. Again, I loved being able to write about a male character falling for a female character like me, and I liked the safety of writing Wolffe as this patient, consistent, understanding man. A part of me wants to write this story from Wolffe's point of view because he has so many thoughts (and there was a point in the first draft where I was going to include a chapter on the most memorable moments from his point of view but decided against it). But Wolffe is hard me to write inside his head. I don't think I do him justice, but he's such a delight to write from an outsider's perspective. I've totally screwed up this answer because I've listed three characters I liked to write for haha. Oh well.

For reading: I'm in a phase where I don't want to read fic about Wolffe, Cody, or Fox because I have such a firm view of them in my mind after writing this story, so other developments of their characters aren't interesting to me right now. Which is horrible, I know. Once I can remove myself from this story, I'm eager to get back into reading for all three, because I love seeing how other people portray these three men!

Thank you so much for these questions! If you couldn't tell, I had a lot of fun answering them :)

[spaceorphan18]

I just need to get some feeling things off my chest - because it's in my thoughts and I feel like I'm stuck unless I express it - you know?

Anyway, I'm putting it all under a cut because A) It's XMen 97 speculation and might be spoilery? there are no spoilers but I don't want to run anyone else's fun, B) I'll be talking about Beau DeMayo, and C) lord help me, I'm bringing up Rogneto

Okay - I want to talk about this first. I read this last night and it made me throw up in my mouth a little. And my ultimate first reaction was that I was glad he was fired.

Honestly, I've been worried that we're headed on an AoA direction for a while now, and even though I actually am fine with the AoA comics, I just do not want it here. The thing, though, is that AoA was always meant to be undone - so if he had had his way and this was Season 3 out of 5, the idea of that doesn't bother me so much.

Granted (logically) - the fact that he's outright saying this when he's been so cryptic about everything else means that it wasn't ever on the table. Still - the guy is just a hardcore Magneto fan. I wouldn't be surprised if the (one) reason the triangle thing even happened is that he does/did like the idea of Rogneto.

Ultimately, to each their own - ship what you like. But doesn't mean I would enjoy that scenario.

x

Then there's this.

There's another post where he talks about using a Star Trek Next Gen episode for homework. And it's one where they're stuck in a time loop.

And it had me thinking that Rogue will get a chance to go back in time and at least tell Remy how she feels. She'll get some closure. Which is -- good for her, and I want her to not be in pain anymore.

But kinda sucks, because closure is closure, you know? And maybe dead is dead?

x

It's so funny because emotionally - my senses tell me that Gambit's story really is done. And that just makes me so sad to think about. They really did the thing and the door is closed and what next, we all move on and be happy? *sigh*

But then there's the logical part of me that kicks in. The one who has been to dark places with fandoms (and even this one) before. The one who knows that even Jean and Morph have been dead before and have come back. The one who knows that every time a comic book writer ends their tenure on a book there's always something the next writer will inevitably retcon.

There's no way - with all the experiences I've had with these mediums that Gambit stays dead. It's still a comic book world. And dead is dead just doesn't happen.

x

Also, in the while I'm thinking about it category -

Last week ole Beau teased a 'I can feel you' hint. I really think this was referring to when Rogue wakes up from her coma. She was dreaming that she could feel Remy. I'm kind of surprised I haven't seen that speculation though.

x

So, idk - I try not to spend a whole lot of time on Twitter, and this guy is ultimately fired and doesn't control direction on the show. And there's still the comics where everything is actually going pretty well. So. I really should be normal about a cartoon.

OOff.

x

ETA: I forgot I was going to mention the Grant Morrison influence.

If you pick up any trade of Morrison's run, he shares his outline of his original plans for New X-Men, and one of them was that he'd kill off Gambit to further Rogue's story. Now - Marvel was like, nope, Claremont wants to use them, so Morrison was denied. (And thank god, Claremont's XTreme run had some of the best Rogue/Gambit stuff in years.)

But I can't help but think that DeMayo may have been playing a little from that playbook. New X-Men has definitely been an influence on the show - from E is for Extinction to the psychic affair between Scott/Jean/Maddie. It wouldn't put it past me that the original Morrison outline that mentions killing Gambit off wasn't a least a little bit of an influence.

[nyoomerr]

oooo writer's meme!! tagged by @celardor12 - thank you for thinking of me! <3

How many wips do you have currently? this is a deceptively difficult question, bc i'm not sure what should actually count here. i have fics that i haven't worked on in over a year but that i do intend on finishing, as well as some heavily outlined but not actually started work on some new fics...

for the stuff that i am actively working on day by day, though, i've got 2 main WIPs! there's the multichapter fic i'm writing for my FTH donor, and then the small piece i'm putting together for the binggeyuan zine. unfortunately due to the nature of both these projects, i can't really say much about them... but i think they're both very tasty svsss treats 😌

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish? the multichapter fic for sure ;A; i'm probably 75% the way done, which means i'm right at the point in writing a multichapter where i'm no longer interested in writing it and just want it to be done. i've hit this point for every multichapter i've ever written, unfortunately, and it's why most of my fics are oneshots - i just have trouble staying focused on a single idea for that long;;;

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you? i very rarely write because inspiration strikes - usually, i'm sitting down to write because i told myself i would and i know i'll feel better after having engaged in a creative/productive hobby. if inspiration 'strikes' during that time, it just looks like me writing more than i'd originally planned in that moment. outside of actively writing, inspiration striking seems to always look like me frantically trying to convince myself that i only want to talk about a potential au and i don't plan on writing it, and the discord chat that's listening to me and nodding along and waiting for when i inevitably capitulate and announce that i'm putting the au on my 'to write' list, lmao.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different? i don't think i've consciously sought out music to listen to while writing (or reading) for the entire time i've been in this fandom, tbh 😅 sometimes i'll put on some rain sounds or study music if the ambient noise where i'm working is a bit loud, i guess?

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized? i've talked about this a bit before, but i very much need an outline. i don't mind changing the plan and diverging from my outline if a scene is more naturally heading in a different direction, but then i need to take a break and re-do the outline to match the new direction before i write anymore.

i'm too shy to actually tag people 🙈🙈 so if you want to do this, please take this as an invitation to do so! gently and invisibly tagging every writer in this fandom ...

[blackkatmagic]

Hey, blackkat!

I've been reading your star wars fanfictions for a while now and I'm seriously intrigued by all of them. My favorite is running with lightning feet and I'm currently reading efface the footprints in the sands--poor Master Kolar...

Anyway, I really wonder how you approach writing. You seem to be able to write very consistently and keep track of many stories all at once, which are things I admire very much about you. Would you be able to give some advice on that?

Also, I very much love your characterization of more 'minor' (less appearance in canon) characters and how you breathe life into them with your dialogue. Really make me wonder how you make that out--what do you consider, or do the characterization/dialogue just pop up, fleshing themselves out?

Yeah, I really hope you don't mind me asking these. Again, love your writing very much. Would continue to read your stories always~~ Thank you for sharing them (and putting all your effort into writing them!)

Hi! I definitely don't mind, and I've answered similar questions before in my writing advice tag, if you want to scroll through some other answers that might be worded better.

For how I approach writing...the inconvenient answer is that it's mostly practice. I've been giving myself a goal of 500 words every day for the last....10-ish years, probably? Just consistently sitting down and doing a thing, writing without worrying about quality and only quantity, with lots of WIPs always going at the same time, really helps in figuring out how to juggle them. I usually keep a file of vague notes, one doc for each WIP with a bunch of keywords and ideas I want to hit eventually, and plot twists I'm aiming for, though I don't ever really outline things, and that helps a lot with keeping track, too.

As far as characterization of minor characters goes, that's the part I enjoy most about writing, and it's one of the easier parts for me, so I'm not sure I'm the best at putting it into words. But basically, you have to get to the very core of how you see the character - what their baseline personality is, what motivates them, what their goals are. It's something that can change between fics (which I think is one of the joys of minor characters; you don't have to stick to one defined interpretation), but it is something you have to nail down, imo. It also takes some filling in the gaps with headcanon and some leaps in logic.

Take Agen for example: canon gives us the information that he lost his padawan on Geonosis, incorporated Tan's lightsaber crystal into his own, and is an incredible swordsman but too blunt and aggressive to be diplomatic, while still being very loyal to the Council/Order. He gets called "the Council's attack dog" in the comics. Also, in the wider universe, we know that Zabraks have a reputation for being aggressive/warlike, and at one point Qui-Gon calls Maul it, even though he has to know what Zabraks are.

Those are all the canon facts. If you go back and fill in the gaps: Agen is someone who's grieving deeply, and he's incredibly devoted. He uses Tan's lightsaber crystal against Palpatine, which means he's sentimental, and he's not willing to speak against the Order in public, so he's at least that tactful. At the same time, he has no patience for people who get in his way, and he's willing to use force to cut through them. He believes in other Jedi until they irrevocably prove themselves traitors, and then he's stern and willing to remove them by whatever means. At the same time, he's very aware of his reputation, and he knows what people say about him/other Zabraks, but he's stubborn enough (at peace with himself enough) that he's not going to change.

From that sort of character summary, you can figure out the way Agen talks pretty easily. He's blunt, and he doesn't always think about the impact of his words, but he can be compassionate and thoughtful, particularly given his own grief. He's willing to defend anyone, and he doesn't make a fuss but always tends towards action - that means short sentences, usually directly to the point with no niceties. He's polite, because that's usually the fastest way to achieve something, but he's not overly deferential. He has a sense of humor, but most people miss it because he's so blunt.

Taking a character and dissecting them like that is something I have a lot of fun doing, which, well. I'm a therapist irl, so that probably helps. But I think it's very much just about breaking a character down into component parts and applying them to whatever you're writing - if you understand why someone reacts a certain way, it's a thousand times easier to figure out how they're going to react in a new situation. And after that, getting them to sound right, getting your dialogue to fit - it's all about practice.

[clarafae]

Writing Fanfic Tag Game

Thanks for tagging me @crazy-ache

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing

I usually have an idea knocking around in my head for a while before I even touch a keyboard. For weeks my brain will just pick at this idea, turning it over and over until the only way to get it out of my head is to just sit down and write it.

Sometimes I'll start writing and the idea that seemed so spectacular in my head is actually quite mediocre on page and I'll shelve it. Sometimes I'll come back to them. Other times I'll dissect it for other fics.

If I'm on to a good thing then the words come really easy and I'll ride that wave for as long as I can.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Both. Most writers are a mix, I think. I like to plot my plot, and pants my relationships, if that makes sense.

My plot gets outlined at the beginning and it very much is a case of writing: This [thing] happens, and then that triggers [this event], and then this character responds [like this], etc. until I reach a point that I think would make a satisfying ending.

I like to build the relationships in the story blindly. The characters tell me how fast they want to progress, and how they talk to each other in one chapter will build the foundations for the next. I find that if I plan for the characters to kiss in a particular chapter, that it feels weirdly forced.

Sometimes the plot will progress too fast for my characters and I have to throw in a few filler chapters to bring their relationship to where I need it.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Nothing. I have a rambunctious three-year-old and I need peace and quiet once she goes to bed.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

I draft with wine and edit with coffee.

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

Currently, Hand of Fate, but probably because it's my shiny new toy.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

I've actually been pleasantly surprised by how well my fanfics have been received. Springtide was the first time I've written fanfiction since my teen years writing Harry Potter fics on fanfiction.net

Do you have any advice for new writers?

I think storytelling is hard, but it can be made easy. Sometimes it's as simple as asking myself 'What's the most interesting thing that could happen next?' and then just writing that. Then, at the end of that scene, I ask myself that again, and I just follow that until I have an outline for a story.

Don't compare your first draft to someone else's final draft. And on that note, even the most well-written authors will have a first draft that looks like yours, they just go on to polish their writing far beyond what most people would.

Don't worry about writing blocks, just write [something interesting happens here] and move on. I often write [Lucien says something sassy] and then by the time I come to edit it I have to hope I have an idea of what he would say!

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

Something I've been trying to do with Hand of Fate is slowing down my writing and letting my scenes breathe before moving onto the next scene. I've always been in a bit of a rush to move from one exciting event to the next and sometimes my fics move far too fast. Sooo much happened in Springtide it that it easily could have been twice the length. With HoF I've really tried to wring as much from each scene as I think I could without it dragging before moving on.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

Ianthe! I really leaned into her being as bitchy as possible and I had a wicked time with it. She initially was only supposed to create a bit of tension between Elain and Lucien, but I guess I accidentally created a full-on villain.

I would tag people but I don't really know anyone. So if you decide you want to write one, go ahead!

[moonshine-nightlight]

Being sick for the past week meant that I had nothing better to do today than lay in bed and refresh tumblr waiting for chapter 34, and seeing it at the very top of my dash was the highlight of my day! The wait was definitely worth it, my health for the duration notwithstanding lol

SPOILER WARNING FOR PAST CHAPTERS IDK HOW TO PUT READ MORES IN ASKS I'M SO SORRY

You made the right call taking the extra time to edit this doozy of a chapter—figuring out how to share Dale's exposition in a way that made sense and fit into the events of the story while maintaining tonal consistency must have been quite the process, between the restrictions of Sana's POV, regency genre conventions, and the story's (heh) natural climax being Dale's identity "reveal" followed by the wedding. I'm very curious if you currently have any ideas for how you're going to tackle this exposition in the novelization, or if you're inclined to handle it differently at all!

@weasellyferret

i hope you're feeling better! i'm so glad you enjoyed the new chapter!

i hav no idea if u can even put a read more in an ask anymore and i can't hide it now but my answer will be under the read more

thanks! i think some people really underestimate how helpful even self editing is to make things coherent, especially for a long chapter like this one that covered so much but also was literally just two ppl talking to each other (ppl lov to say they'll take any update, but lik, thats cuz they dont knooow lol and i dont just want it to b passable, i want it to b good).

with lore/backstory like this i also have to make sure it makes sense to readers who havent read any of it before nor know any of the even more info that I know because there's even more worldbuilding and dale backstory that wont end up in the story.

i'm glad u think i pulled it off to any degree because i was still pretty nervous when i was posting it that it did make sense, fit in the world, was followable, interesting but not just exposition monologue, etc

yeah, chapter 30 where they have the reveal convo is the primary climax of the story and that's also 'just talking' in a sense so its interesting to write this story in that sense lol

while i had the broad outline of the world and dale's backstory from the beginning (i did a little exercise where i sketched out a sort of Dale POV of chapter 6 to get into his mindset which was super helpful) as I wrote the story a lot more of that info became fully fleshed out/defined. so for the novelization, i'll probably try to work more of the info in earlier or have better allusions to it, which will make some of the info in chapter 34 more of a quick confirmation than the exposition itself

ie i might add a chapter with more detail on Sana researching with Dale's books that Bilmont smuggles and plant suspicions of what went wrong with the summoning; i might adjust the chapter after the attack to be more of a convo about the assassination that the grandparents interrupt where Sana can suspect more of Dale's past etc and generally spread out what i can so its more foreshadowed/natural - things like that

other aspects sort of have to be told to Sana because its POV limited, evn when it is updated to 3rd POV. i'll probably do a straight POV swap and minor edit ; then take a look at it as a whole, reassess things on my own, run those ideas by some writer friends/betas and get their thoughts, and finally my editors (who i used for DSM) are also very good with making sure worldbuilding fits in right and so their advice will be helpful - especially since they will only get the draft i giv them without knowing how it was and what changed etc

once chapter 35 is out (which i'm still writing because smut is a challenge to right and i write it more slowly than other things) i'll start slowly editing and passing along to betas the rest of the story (i've got thru chap 11 done and betas who only read those and who are chomping at the bit - u think u've had a long wait? lol) but it will be spring by the time i do any big edits/revisions and then i'll giv it to the editors, who i already lik, semi-lined up for that time period and idk how long they will take because its a long book and then i'll need to process their edits too so it'll be a lengthy process, but i hope everyone knows it will 100% b a novel and i hope they enjoy it!

now back to stabbing away at the smut writing ;)

[addledmongoose]

Just here to talk about your fictions and hoping to make you giggle like a small child! You already know how much I've loved both of your fictions and how much I think they deserve to be read by everyone! I get so into your stories that your Crowley and Aziraphale become THE Crowley and Aziraphale whilst I'm reading. I'm so grateful I came across The Beginning Of The End (Again) when I did and I can't wait to read whatever you have in store next! The reverse omens fiction seems really exciting!

Please share anything you might want to and don't shy away from sharing the links!

Oh, gosh! Thank you so much. You don't know how much it means to me to see someone like my writing. I spent a lot of years trying to get novels commercially published, and the process was such a rollercoaster of emotions I won't go through that again. I much prefer posting to Ao3.

When I first started to write The Beginning of the End (Again), I literally only had the dream sequence at the beginning and the scene with Nina immediately after. That was it. No plot. No idea what I was going to do with Aziraphale. I don't do well with outlines even when I write them. The story has a tendency to go off in its own direction no matter how tightly I tried to plot. It's why I have to almost entirely finish the story before I can start posting.

When I came up with the idea for My Heart Was Always Yours, I didn't even have that much. I had the idea of them not knowing each other and not realizing the other was supernatural. I also made the mistake of posting before I knew what I was going to do with the ending, and that was very stressful. I won't be doing that again!

My reverse omens story is actually coming along pretty well. I'm 20K into the first draft. The story is being formed as I write, so I have a LOT of revisions to do, but the general plot is Azira and Crowley attend an estate sale near Birmingham when they discover the widow's granddaughter being held captive in the cellar. They learn that the child is possessed by an angel, and they're on a race to uncover what happened and exorcise the angel before the angel Falls.

I love my bearded demon Azira! He flirts outrageously with Crowley to hide how desperately in love with him he is. He wears a ton of jewelry, because he's a literal magpie! He's a master pickpocket, because he steals his "shinies" off people the human way. He still collects books, of course, but he doesn't even pretend he has any interest in sharing them, so he has a library instead of a bookshop. I'm keeping this entirely in his POV. Of course, he thinks Crowley hung the moon (I mean, he did, but you know).

And I do still intend to write that sequel to The Beginning of the End (Again); I just got a bit overwhelmed as it ran away from me. It has a lot of characters in it, and I was losing the thread of things.

Thank you so much for sending me this ask!

[heartscrypt]

Jamie, don't worry. Just like you, I've been thinking about JamiAzu and I, too, have not been able to create any content.

The best thing to do is to chew them in your head until something manifests on your canvas or paper. Alternatively, you can use this ask as an opportunity to talk about them. (I would love to hear your scenarios and headcanons because you understand them like I do.)

oh my god ok OKAY so. i had this fic idea rolling around in my head and the premise was basically like. the aftermath of twst events that didn't feature jamil or azul really heavily / only had small cameos but it was just jamil n azul reflecting (and maybe bonding) afterwards.

this whole thing was inspired by azul getting rejected by eliza in the phantom bride event LOL bc i thought jamil would get a kick out of it. i wanted to cover more events like wish upon a star (which i might talk about in a later post) or harveston or port fest but the phantom bride part i have like. Fully mapped out.

i only have this excerpt because. i lost motivation but if anyone wants to take this fic concept and do it justice they can :3 id just like to be tagged and credited

full outline is under the read more because God it is long. sorry. its also kind of incomprehensible because im incomprehensible about these two

but the ficlet for the first event, phantom bride, was going to take place a few hours after where the event canonically ends. jamil finds out azul got sooo rejected and laughs at him under his breath for a bit. says its because eliza could sense that he was fake as fuck all the time. azul gets frustrated and flustered bc the guy he wants so bad is currently mocking him for having NOOOO game. he's like "yeah well. you didn't participate b/c of kalim so you don't know what impossible standards she had"

jamils still used to deflecting when it comes to his competence so he'd dismissively say that of course he wouldn't have been a suitable candidate to woo the ghost even if kalim was guaranteed to not be involved. he's not that kind of guy. azul's Jamil Bullshit radar is ACTIVATED. he immediately insists that jamil absolutely Could've swayed eliza into wearing the ring and starts praising all of jamil's qualities with such a Genuine belief in jamil's abilities until jamil is the flustered one trying to beat azul's compliments off of him with a stick.

this part is really funny to me because in my head there's a scene before where jamil is telling azul that his approach failed because he always came off as disingenuous. and then here in this scene azul's so genuine that jamil's taken aback and in his head he's like "if he approached eliza the way he's approaching me NOW there's no way he would've failed." and then he promptly refuses to think about the implications of that thought for the rest of the fic. lol

anyways through the power of lovebombing and a few appeals to jamil's competitive side, azul goads jamil into demonstrating how he would've approached eliza to get the ghost sealing ring on her finger. jamil's pretending to be a suitor. one of jamil's rings (he's a jewelry guy no way he doesn't have a few rings) plays the role of the ghost sealing ring. and of course azul is the Substitute Eliza in their little pretend scenario so we get. these two indirectly flirting with each other in the weirdest fucking way possible. roleplay.

also there's a funny bit of azul mimicking something eliza actually did mid-scenario and jamil breaking out of character to be like "No Way ok Time out no way you aren't fucking with me right now" and azul responding like "no she really did say that" and jamil getting the most longsuffering expression on his face before slipping back into his princely character.

azul enjoys being the one "chased" by jamil for a change but he's always cognizant of the facade jamil's wearing while playing the role of eliza's prince. knows that that's just as much Not the true jamil as the "dutiful servant" jamil was, and is in return so totally lovestruck by how GOOD jamil is at being manipulative. not even swooned by the princely way jamils acting. he's falling head over heels for the fact that he KNOWS jamil is acting and in reality could not care less and yet is able to pull off such a convincing display. because azul's fucking crazy and his taste in men actually sucks so bad he sees all the red flags in jamil as fun little collectibles. he's mentally like "its so frustratingly attractive when he says something with that little smirk smile and we both know he's lying straight to my face but i cant call him out on it." GIRL. YOU ARE SO FAILCRINGE

on jamils end of things. yes he is pretending to be a "prince" for "eliza" but he's also hyperaware that this is azul pretending to be eliza for the sake of the scenario so. he gets a little sneaky. a little underhanded. starts doing and saying things that are targeted to catch Specifically azul off guard so azul gets flustered and breaks character for a split second. this is solely to fuck with azul and has Noooo other reason behind it (nevermind the fact that there is a giddy feeling jamil gets when he's able to crack the facade azul wears to see the real, vulnerable azul hiding underneath).

they go back and forth for a while, jamil pushing forward relentlessly while azul pulls away but always stays close (a complete reversal of their usual dynamic). but then jamil says something that's so completely him and definitely not part of the facade and azul forgets himself for a moment, forgets that they're playing pretend. lets his guard down completely. from jamils perspective, this startles him a little because he wasn't expecting it and he certainly wasn't expecting for azul to seem so convincingly enamored by him (it's because azul actually is but like jamil's kind of operating under the assumption that azul is incredibly fake all the time) and he REALLY doesn't know what to do with the realization that he likes the way azul is looking at him right now a lot more than he probably should like attention coming from someone he supposedly hates.

so he panics internally, shoves the ring onto azul's finger while azul is distracted, and tells him he can stop acting now because jamil proved his point that he Could've gotten the ring on eliza. azul snaps out of it and is like "ah. Yes. Acting. I'm so good at it Wouldn't you agree jamil" (hes pretending his inner monologue rn doesn't mainly consist of distressed dramatic bitch wailing and screaming. hes embarrassed abt being so vulnerable when they're both supposed to be acting he wants to crawl into an octopus pot and never come out). jamil's reply is smth like "yeah yeah whatever of course you're used to acting b/c you're a fraud" (his inner monologue also sounds like distressed screaming btw. less dramatic and more Full of dread and horror). moment of awkward silence where they just aren't looking at each other but azul's hand is still in jamil's (since jamil had to take his hand to put the ring on). worst handholding experience ever. 0/10

jamil breaks the silence. "i prefer it when you're not acting". on the surface its just a casual dig at azul's role at eliza but like THE WAY he says it. means something more. azul picks up on that, thinks back to all the times during the scene where jamil got him to break character for a second, the smug satisfaction on his face when azul sputtered or faltered. his first conclusion is "he wants me so bad" because he's delusional but then he reels it back a little and only says "i prefer your true self as well." jamil knows what THAT means well enough. he's starting to get suspicions that their dynamic isn't just "guy who is trying to exploit someone he sees as an opportunity x guy who fucking hates him because the other guy is a slimeball". he isn't sold on azul's intentions being all that pure though. he needs to bide his time, hang back and see whether this moment was a fluke.

they r still holding hands btw. neither of them has pulled away yet. jamil's the first to look down and Acknowledge it, silently swiping his thumb over the ring on azul's finger. drops the other's hand. says very nonchalantly that azul is going to keep the ring. azuls like "? haha i couldn't Possibly keep this. it's your ring". jamil smirks. says "keep it as a consolation prize. and a reminder of how badly you embarrassed yourself today". looks up through his eyelashes to watch for a reaction. azuls head nearly explodes. jamil knows in his gut that once azul recovers he's going to be Fucking Insufferable for the next few weeks flaunting that ring around everywhere and playing up the bond between himself and jamil but as he leaves, he can't find himself caring all that much about that as long as the other Does wear the ring.

[pickle-in-a-pickle]

Concertante (in D Major)!

Ohh, I'm so glad you asked this one because I actually have so many thoughts about it!! It's definitely the biggest thing I'm working on right now and the one I have most written for out of all of my WIPs.

It's a non-magic AU where Tom and Harry meet at a summer program for classical music. I've been obsessing over this one for a good while now and even have a pretty long outline written already. The only thing left is to write it at this point.

A small snippet under the cut:

Tom started after him, quickly feeling his heartbeat begin to match the rapid rhythm of the downpour. With each step the wet grass bit through the thin fabric of his socks more and more; it would’ve probably been more comfortable without them at all. He chocked on the rainwater during one inhale, leaving him coughing and gasping for breath. Harry was already on top of the cliff, and for a moment, Tom wondered what the hell he was doing, chasing a stupid boy outside during a thunderstorm. Then a lighting flashed somewhere – one, two, three seconds before the rumble – and he was running again. Even Harry wouldn’t stay outside once the storm was right on top of them. He reached the cliff with stinging calves. The rain felt like it was only getting worse, and he could only make out the vague shape of someone standing a distance away. Harry was heading towards the water, not the forest like Tom had initially assumed. And then, he kept getting closer. Once Tom could see him clearly, he also found out why; the path to the beach was rocky and steep, slippery and dangerous when dripping water. Harry flinched when Tom pulled on his shoulder, positioning them a bit further away from the edge. “Harry–” he began, only for Harry to shout on top of him. “What?” “Stop running, I want to talk.” Harry looked confused for a while, then shook his head. “I can’t hear you over the rain, speak louder!” And he was right, of course. The droplets hitting the surface of the lake below were echoing off the walls of the cliff, making it night impossible to hear anything else. “Talk! I want to talk!” Tom shouted, feeling his cheeks heat up embarrassingly. Harry glanced at the lake again, before finally turning to face Tom properly. “Well, I don’t!” But despite his words, he didn’t move and only kept glaring at Tom with his green, green eyes that matched the backdrop of the trees perfectly. “We need to! It’s ruining our lessons–” “I really don’t care!” Harry yelled back, taking a step towards the edge. Tom wanted to follow, reach out again, but didn’t in case Harry got the insane idea of backing away even further. “It affects both of us,” Tom seethed, beginning to feel frustrated. “As if I don’t know that! Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you insulted me!” Insulted? Tom wasn’t sure what Harry meant. He didn’t remember insulting Harry. It really was absurd how he was making such a big deal out of it. “I didn’t insult you–” “Oh you didn’t have to say it!” Harry cut him off. “I know what you and your friends think of me! I’d rather ruin my own lessons than let someone like you treat me like shite with no repercussions!” Tom couldn’t believe he was being grouped together with the likes of Draco Malfoy. “Don’t speak of matters you know nothing about,” Tom bit out. Suddenly he was hoping Harry would take a few steps backwards after all. Maybe Tom could even push him off. He took one step forward; Harry took one closer to the edge. Another one. And another. And– The cliff was lit up by a flash of lightning. One second, and the thunder screamed, so loud Tom could feel it all the way in his bones. Both of them stopped in their tracks, turning to face the main building. It took a mere fraction of a second for the decision to be born. Then they were already running back towards the house, sharp rocks and sticks digging into bare skin and threadbare fabric alike. Another flash and a rumble. Tom could hear his breathing over it, and it sounded near hysterical. He could even hear Harry’s in front of him. They were out of sync. Neither of them slowed down before they were securely on the porch, sopping wet and dripping water all over the colourful carpet there. Once inside, Harry turned to him one last time with a defiant edge to his expression. “Don’t talk to me again,” he said, demanded more like. It was definitive, and Tom couldn’t form a response before Harry was already bolting up the stairs. The lightning struck again, and the resentment tasted like nitrogen oxide on his tongue.

Not a lot of music in this snippet as the scenes I've written for that are not nearly as exciting (yet), but for anyone curious, Tom plays the violin while Harry plays the bassoon! I really hope I'll get the time to write more of this soon because right now it's on my mind 24/7. I desperately want to post the whole thing one day 💖