#...has taught me something about being misinterpreted because i have seen so much horrific accusations of me being levied... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago

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I saw somebody discuss it a while back ago, but it was so affirming and I wanted to open a similar discussion here...

I've noticed in myself and others this intense (genuine) trigger response to people not understanding us or our words or whatever it may be, and it can feel so important that you correct people, that people know you, not a shitty cut-out version of you.

I think this is a valid response, of course. It is completely understandable, and I get where it comes from. When I was in the middle of abuse, I was misrepresented in order to be abused, so it can be a genuine trigger for something "small" you said, did, or are to be misinterpreted or twisted into something it isn't. It turns from, "this person didn't bother reading what I'm saying," to, "this person might be just like them, they're going to hurt me."

My overall point is that a huge part of living is this misinterpretation of you or your character, and it isn't your fault, and it isn't in your control. Hell, even, a huge aspect of language itself is in not being able to fully represent you or what you're saying because language is interpretive and based (in part) on other people's interpretation of what you said. They fill in the blanks with their own experiences, desires, or their own character, and at some point, it isn't really about you, you know?

My biggest piece of advice is learning how to let people be wrong. This shit, of trying to correct every single person? Personally, I have found it to be exhausting, and it feels like I'm blaming myself not only for everybody's interpretation of every little thing I do but also for abuse that led to this intense of a response. It's really hard to let people be wrong, yes, but it also has allowed me and permitted me to be more interested in my own life, not in my life in other people's brains. It's given me that specific freedom from abuse, from worry.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #no this isn't me saying that only abuse survivors feel this way because it is a very human and very normal emotion #*however* i have also found that abuse trauma can exaggerate that normal emotion into something more sinister #just like my trauma disorders are exaggerations of normal emotions.#this is mostly for clarity but i am aware of how other people can (and will) misinterpret this #i try my best to be clear in my intentions because it is my responsibility but i am also aware...#...that there is only so much i can do before it is excessive. because i can be 100000% careful and people will misinterpret meaning...#...or whatever it may be. that's a part of life. weirdly enough but having this blog...#...has taught me something about being misinterpreted because i have seen so much horrific accusations of me being levied...#...with no evidence. with no proof. that part of me did feel triggered by that because that shit was used by people who abused me...#...but that wasn't my fault. those people who did that? they clearly had it out for me from the get-go and it taught me not to value...#...what was said. they were biased because of how i choose to exist on here - which is queer. which is trans. which is disabled...#...not because i am secretly knavish or whatever it may be

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