#...but id love it so much! like crazily! 🍀

[mymadmedleyw]

-(totally unrelated-to-everything-that-are-going-on) real-life situation but I am freaking out, so irl rant-

Wish me luck! 🍀

Tomorrow morning I'll have a talking with the institution I'd like to study from February. And I'm totally panicking right now.

(And I really hope the administrational site for my application won't be glitchy - the deadline for everything is midnight. I uploaded every necessary document which I have in my possession but the page still says those are 'under processing'. - which about I have a constant 'mild' panic and I couldn't sleep at all.)

Anyway, just now, trying to figure out what they will ask tomorrow from me, I wrote a little draft about my related knowledge and experience in the field that my hoped studies are. I tried to seem wise with the wordings but damn, writing anything more serious is much more harder than writing fics - where I rarely care about to be seemed smart.

Good thing is though, that writing in English and having half of my thoughts in English by now (due to writing fics through the past few years) meant help, but still. This is much more different now!

I'm freaking out. This is what I want. And this is what I want since I finished my BSc studies last year. But I am so scared about it right now when finally MSc is an armreach away. I'm excited but at the same time damn scared.

(Sorry, I had to let this out...)

Once I'll have that talk tomorrow, and once the administration is done too, everything depends on the other candidates and on their points. I don't dare to say that everything is a straight path from there but people are not really that masochistic to learn Master's Finance in a foreign (2nd) language... So, (I hope) that I don't have to much to worry about since that point.

But I am panicking now and I fear to have a panic attack about it. Just imagine the green light: once, I am in, I have to give my 100%+ focus on my studies to understand it, then, during the last semesters write a thesis in English. No wonder I'm panicking...

This is my dream for a while, but still. What the hell!