#...actually i wonder if c!alan has a bit of that still. we never really see him play video games

[i3utterflyeffect]

What if stick!noogai goes to the fair that day and gets to go to the machine right before Gold gets there so Gold has to wait in line, and then Chosen rescues noogai when the machine breaks. Thus leaving everyone alive, though noogai gets another thing to haunt his nightmares.

i genuinely think he's not going to be able to sleep for a week if that happens to him

[somestansomewhere]

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

[laceyeb]

Because I’m determined to be excited about this season of DWTS (and I genuinely am!), I’m going to try to post much more about this season than I did last season and start sharing my opinions now! Starting with the cast thus far of course, with my excitement ranking out of 10 because I do what I want.

Jojo Siwa and Jenna - 1000/10

As soon as I heard about Jojo being with a female pro, I started manifesting Jenna with all my heart and I am sooooo excited!!!! I’m not saying that ANY female pro on this show is even remotely homophobic in any way shape or form because I do NOT believe any of them are. HOWEVER... If I had to pick one female pro who I feel like would be most “onboard,” it would be Jenna. (Or Sharna, but I’d prefer Jojo with Jenna just because Jenna is younger.) If this sentiment/how I expressed it comes off problematic, please let me know because that is absolutely not what I intended and I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. Anyways... I don’t know if I’m anxious, excited, terrified, curious, overjoyed, etc. etc. etc. Perhaps all at once. I can’t wait to see how this goes and how it is received. I’ve already had a small rant about the target demographic of this show, but I’m choosing to be optimistic. I would definitely prefer that they don’t spend the ENTIRE season talking about the ground-breakingness. First episode, yes. Very important, very groundbreaking, etc. Then I’d like this to just be normalized. I don’t want them to be treated any different than any other couple. I just want them to be like everyone else. I don’t expect them to change the entire world, but this is still very very important and I am very very excited. And anxious. (Also not my anxiety acting up when I sent my mom the rumored list so far and her response was “I’m disgusted.” She’s apparently “disgusted” by the fact that there are people on the cast she’s never heard of. As if we haven’t been doing this for 30 seasons now.)

Sunisa Lee and Sasha - 8/10

I did not pay any attention to gymnastics during the Olympics (aside from the general news I stumbled upon on the internets) because all my waking hours were focused on soccer, but she’ll obviously be great. I would not say that Sasha is my favorite pro, but they’ll likely be a great match. I need to find some interviews of her or something to get a sense of her personality. I’m excited though because I’m sure they’ll be fun to watch.

Kenya Moore and Brandon - 2.5/10

I’ve never heard of her, so I have no opinion. I do have a soft spot for Brandon though. Is she like well known? Popular? Likable? Dancingly inclined?

Amanda Kloots and Alan - 6.5/10

You know I love Alan with my whole heart, so that automatically gives them some points. I recognize her name and that’s about all I’ve got for her. In the little bit I see (I’m just using the Kristyn Burtt article for this), she seems very excited to be there. Dream come true and all that. I will always give anyone a chance if they come in with such a good attitude.

Olivia Jade and Val - 5/10

Right in the middle 5/10 for this because I just don’t know what to expect. Like are they going to edit her packages sympathetically or actually sympathetic AND convincing? Do I feel any excitement for her to be in the spotlight like this? Not really. But she might surprise me. Val can really do no wrong, though, at the risk of starting an uprising, I’ve kinda lost interest in him as a pro as of late. No real reason. Just feel like there’s other pros I care more about/am more invested in.

Matt James and Lindsay - 5.5/10

I’m very excited to have Lindsay back, so let’s start there! It feels like it’s been about 27 years since we’ve seen her, despite the fact that she posts about 4 hours of IG stories a day and I happily watch every second. I don’t know a whole lot about Matt aside from the fact that he’s a Bachelor guy. I don’t think I’m exactly thrilled about what little I’ve seen and I don’t know what he’s like personality-wise. But at least Lindsay is back and seems happy so far.

Iman Shumpert and Daniella - 2/10

I’ve never heard of this guy and could not care less about basketball, so I don’t even have a reason to get excited. I’ve got nothing against Daniella at all, we just don’t know her that well yet. Is he well-known/likable/have a likelihood of dancing skills?

Jimmie Allen and Emma - 9/10

I don’t know a great deal about him personality-wise either, but I’m already excited! I love Emma, I love a country singer on DWTS, I love getting to see someone on the show who I already know. Very excited all around! Can he dance? Who knows! But I look forward to finding out! He’s got a few great songs that I absolutely adore and I need to make a playlist! I think they are going to make a good pair and I’m glad he’s with a pro I really like (aka not Cheryl I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Brian and Sharna - 11/10

Sharna. Sharna’s man. Sharna in love. Sharna happy. What else could I possibly ask for?! I wondered if they would partner them together or not. In a non-pandemic world, maybe not. What with married pros living apart from each other for the season, they would have to too if they weren’t partnered together. Not that they deserve any special treatment. But if they don’t HAVE to be apart, why have them be apart you know? It’s going to be really entertaining to watch Sharna post about her “partner” for the next two weeks when we all know it’s him. Believe it or not, I have not followed their relationship really super close and they also don’t post an excessive amount together (which I have no problem with because people are entitled to their privacy and what not), so I’m excited to get to see so much more of them together! If Sharna’s happy, I’m happy. Can he dance do we think?!

Christine Chiu and Pasha - 1/10

Uninterested. No idea who she is and like with Daniella, I just don’t know Pasha enough to get that excited. Again: Is she likable/popular/dance-inclined? Beats me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mel C. And Gleb - 4/10

I like Gleb more than most do, but I’m not obsessed by any means. (I mean, he’s not Sharna.) Nothing against any Spice Girls, but I’m fairly neutral on the whole. She will likely be pretty good and probably fairly popular. I look forward to seeing how she does, but I’m pretty much take it or leave it with them. It’s entirely possible she could be the dark horse I fall in love with by like week 3 and then decide she’s my favorite of the season.

Melora Hardin and Artem - 10/10

I’m VERY excited. I’ve already posted about her a bit, but oh boy I’m excited! I’ve seen exactly ZERO episodes of The Office, but I know her and LOVE her from The Bold Type aka one of my most important Gay Awakenings™️. (There were several...) I love me some Artem and he will be a great match with her as well. She’s definitely going to be one of the older pros this season (though I think she’s in her 50s which is decidedly not OLD old), but I know she has Broadway experience. I would love a week 1 foxtrot to put her solidly in a 3 way tie for third place with 4 7s and then coming in week 2 with like a samba that she absolutely nails (8,7,7,8) to prove she really can do it all. (It’s possible I’ve been watching this show for too damn long.)

Mike Mizanin - 1.5/10

I will not call him “The Miz.” I do not know this man and I do not care. Put him with Cheryl and send them home week 1. Ok wait. I’ll be nice. I definitely know NOTHING about him, but maybe he’s a fun and pleasant person. We’ll see. And if he is, I might entertain the possibility of calling him “The Miz.” (Whenever they have anyone from like WWE, UFC, boxing, or anything like that, I just do not care because I don’t know anything about them. But Paige VanZant was my actual Gay Awakening™️, so I try to keep an open mind.)

[rora-s]

The Derivative Chapter 15: Seventeen

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 14

I came trudging into my uncle's office and threw my backpack down in his chair. The three men within the office gave me a concerned look. “Trouble adapting to college life?” Charlie inquired.

I let off a breath leaning on the desk “college students are better but no less annoying than high schoolers” I declared “I just talked to a girl in one of my classes who asked and I quote ‘are you visiting on a high school field trip?’” I mocked the girl's squawky voice.

Don chuckled slightly “well you are sixteen. Not a lot of kids your age running around these halls”

“She sees me every other day in our class. She borrowed my pencil once” I exclaimed indignantly.

“Ah it seems this fair student was wrapped in her own world to the point of tuning the rest out” Larry declared.

“Yeah or she’s just an asshole” I muttered then glanced at the computer screen on the desk “is that some kind of code?”

“Yes it’s a rolling code for a car remote” Charlie explained, holding up the remote in question in his hand. “It’s actually part of a kidnapping case”

“Kidnapping?” I questioned.

Don sighed and shot his brother a look “yeah it’s a case we’re working.”

I nodded, resisting the urge to ask if I could help. Just then my phone alarm went off. “I have class” I sighed, turning off the alarm and grabbing my backpack.

“I’ll walk with you,” Don offered. I nodded and waved farewell to Charlie and Larry as we exited the office. We only got a couple feet from the door before Don was talking again “so your birthday is this weekend.”

“What? Really? I had no idea” I replied sarcastically.

Don scoffed “I was just wondering if you wanted to do anything? I mean just me and you could hangout or we could have a barbecue at the house with everybody. Whatever you want” he shrugged.

“Uh yeah a barbecue would be cool” I murmured the grip on my backpack tightening a bit.

“You sure?” Don asked. I glanced over to see him looking at me with mild concern in his features.

“Yeah fine” I assured him as we reached the door to my classroom “it’s just…” I hesitated “don’t worry about it it's nothing”

“Okay” Don nodded “have fun on your field trip” he teased.

“Ha ha very funny” I muttered a small smile on his face. He turned to leave and I ducked into the classroom. There was a sinking feeling in my gut and another feeling that I couldn’t quite place and didn’t really like.

________________

3rd POV.

“And no, no contact, in almost seven hours” Don murmured looking at the board set up in the war room. “What the hell are they after?”

“I still think Erica Logan has to be the key” Megan declared standing up as Don began to pace the room. “This kind of radical shift in behavior? There has to be some sort of trigger.”

“Trigger?” David questioned from his seat “like what?”

“I can tell you what a textbook would say,” Megan explained. “Statistically, it’s things like a near-death experience. A person can exhibit an extreme shift in behavior if they survived a plane crash. Another could be a person who’s told they only have a month to live, may act on fantasies of an alter ego.”

“Doesn’t fit, though in this case” Colby objected. “The autopsy would have flagged that.”

“All right, so what else?” Don inquired leaning on the table.

“Uh, parental instinct” Megan offered “the perception of a serious threat to a child.”

“That also doesn’t fit” Colby spoke up again “I mean, her father said she doesn’t have kids, right?”

Don thought about his talk with the man for a second and the pictures in the house realization hitting him “but there was a brother, right?” he asked, gesturing to David who had also been there for the interview “the old man said she practically raised him.”

“Yeah,” David nodded in agreement, sitting up in his seat.

“A younger sibling could be the trigger, if they had developed that kind of relationship” Megan agreed.

“Younger brothers can definitely be a trigger, trust me on that one” Don stated with an edge of humor before going back to business mode turning to David “why don’t you go talk to the old man see if you can get an address on the son.” the agent nodded and started grabbing his things “I mean, I want to get everything we can on this kid, right?”

Colby grabbed his things and followed David out of the room. When it was just them Megan turned to Don. “Speaking of parental instincts, how's that daughter of yours doing?”

“Abby? She’s fine” Don shrugged.

“Really? I mean it can’t be easy being a sixteen year old kid in college” Megan voiced.

Don scoffed “she complains less about it than she did about high school so” he shrugged.

“Well since she’s in a house full of men. Why don’t you tell her if she ever needs a woman’s advice she can have my number” Megan offered.

“Thanks” Don smiled at his partner before she turned and left. Don shifted some files and thought a bit to himself. He’d never thought about it before but Abby was constantly surrounded by guys. The only female influence in her life right now that he could think of was Amita. Was that why she had been so weird about the barbecue?

Don doubted it. Maybe he was just coming to weird conclusions. Maybe the barbecue wasn’t even an issue and she was just preoccupied with the class she was about to walk into when he asked. No, she had a look on her face that told him she wasn’t happy about something. He just had no idea what and now he had to figure it out.

As he turned to leave the board caught his attention again. Parental instincts could change behavior. He thought that was a bit of an understatement.

_______________

Abby POV.

“Oh come on Charlie it couldn’t have been that bad.” Alan objected from the kitchen as the mathematician sulked at the dining room table.

“Actually, I truly can’t explain how awful it was,” Charlie muttered as Alan came out and sat a mug of hot tea down in front of his son and two plates of cake, one for him and one for me.

“Oh, I don’t understand it.” Gramps grumbled “You and Amita. You always got along so well.”

Charlie shrugged “I’m just as confused as you are”

“Yeah well, maybe it’ll be better next time, hmm?” Alan suggested as I just ate my cake and read quietly.

“Yeah, I don’t think there’s going to be a next time in the future” Uncle C sighed as my father entered the house through the front door.

“No, no, you do not give up.” Alan objected. “You never give up”

“Who’s giving up what?” Don inquired.

“Charlie. He blew his first date with Amita” Gramps informed.

“And he’s being very pouty about it,” I added, earning me a small glare from my uncle.

“I wouldn’t say that I- I blew it, Dad or that I’m pouting” the professor objected. “I mean that’s…” he trailed off as Alan gave him a look “yeah, maybe I blew it.”

“And are pouty” I chimed in and got another half hearted glare.

“Wait, what happened, buddy?” Don asked, shedding his coat.

“It’s just we found out that we really don’t have much to talk about outside math” Charlie explained as Gramps got to his feet.

“And you can’t talk about math because?” I questioned.

“Well it’s our work and we want to talk about more than just work” Charlie muttered.

“Oh, man.” Don sighed “Yeah, I know about that. Maybe it’s an Eppes thing you know? When Terry and I started dating, the first thing we said was we weren’t going to talk about work, right? You know, not a word.”

“Don’t say it’s an Eppes thing cuz that curses me too” I complained.

“Hey last I checked your last name was still Calvin so you get exempt” Don pointed out.

“So, how’d you work it out?” Alan inquired, handing his eldest the beer he had just retrieved from the kitchen. “With Terry?’

“Well, I mean, she’s back with her ex but..” Don murmured.

“That’s really very encouraging,” Charlie grumbled sarcastically.

“I didn't mean it like that” Don objected with a slight chuckle “I’m sorry. It’s different with you guys. You’ll work it out.” Charlie just let off a breath. “Meanwhile, I’m hitting a wall with this case.”

“You haven’t found them yet?” Charlie inquired.

“Found who?” Alan asked as Don headed back into the foyer to grab his file off the table.

“A mother and her eight year old daughter, kidnapped.” Don informed heading into the living room with his file.

“That’s horrible,” Alan declared.

“This is the same case with the car key code thing?” I asked.

“Yeah” Charlie replied with a nod as the three of us stood to follow Don into the living room. I brought my book and slice of cake with me.

“Who took them?” Gramps questioned.

“I don’t know yet” Don explained sitting on the couch “I mean, we got this one suspect who’s a bookie, and we think there’s some connection, but we got these files off his computer, and they’re impossible to analyze”

“What are you looking for in here?” Charlie questioned, going to look over the file Don offered him as I sat on the couch next to my father. .

“Well, I mean, the people who financed the operation.” Don explained “this guy’s been running bets through a website called Statswire that dead-ends at a URL in China. And with all the money he’s pulling in and paying out, we can’t tell the difference between the backer and bettors.”

“Well these abbreviations may be names and dates” Uncle C suggested looking the file over “but the numbers in this column here 35-17-11” he muttered as Gramps went to look over his shoulder. “23-17-5, 24-12-3 ½? Yeah I’m assuming that they’re part of some sort of odds making, but they just appear to be at random and they can’t be.”

“You’re right. They’re not random” Alan voiced as I shifted my cake away from my thieving father.

“What are you talking about?” Don inquired.

“Where’s that paper?” Alan muttered standing up and going over to a stack of newspapers “this weekend’s football scores.” he stated grabbing the paper he was looking for and coming back over as we all huddled over the file to look. “Let me see. 35-17-11 here.” he pointed to the newspaper “the Packers beat the Vikings 35-17, and the spread was 11”

“Whoa,” Don murmured.

“Nice catch Gramps” I said with a slight smirk.

“Thank you. 23-17-5. That here, Niners in San Diego, five-point spread, right?” Alan found another “24 to 12 was the Jaguars over the Colts. Huh?”

“Let me see that” Don took the paper and looked it over.

“3 ½ was a ridiculous spread” Gramps commented “I took the Jaguars and made a hundred bucks”

“What, you have a bookie?” Don questioned his father in surprise.

“Busted,” I murmured.

“Should I have a lawyer present?” Alan replied.

“No, I’ll let you slide.” Don murmured looking back over the paper. As I chuckled lightly.

“Wait a minute. If this column is the point spread, I can use it to calculate the ratio of winners to losers” Charlie explained “and potentially trace the payouts and the money flow.”

“Yay teamwork” I murmured.

“Says the girl who sat there eating cake the entire time” Don pointed out. I just shrugged with a smirk.

_________________

3rd POV.

Don got out of his car with a sigh. He was relieved that she had at least thought to text him this time. As he made his way across the grass to his daughter she glanced up at him before her eyes became fixated on the ground.

He sat down next to her in front of the head stone. After a moment of silence he finally spoke “what’s wrong?”

“Why do you assume something’s wrong?” Abby replied, still not looking up at him and she fiddled with her blinders in her hand.

“Because I know you well enough now to know when something’s bothering you” he replied softly. Abby shifted but didn’t speak. “You know if you don’t want to have a party or something for your birthday that’s fine. It’s okay if you don’t even want to celebrate it but I’d like to know why” he explained.

“It’s not that I don’t want to celebrate it” Abby objected. “It’s just-” she took a shaky breath “I suddenly have people to celebrate with and I’ve never had that before because-” she cut off.

“Because what?” Don encouraged.

She took another deep breath “last year we sat here and I told you how much I love and miss my mom now I’m sitting here and- and I’m just mad at her. I’m mad because she didn’t tell you about me. Didn’t let us meet sooner because I spent nearly sixteen years of my life not knowing you, or Grandpa, or Uncle C and because I want to have that stupid barbecue with you guys and I wish I could have had that sooner but-” Abby cut off again and tears rolled down her cheek. “I’m never going to see her again and all I am is mad at her”

Don wrapped a gentle arm around Abby pulling her closer. “Listen Abby, the last year of my life spent with you has been an incredible time. We’ve gotten to know each other and despite some preconceived notions I haven’t managed to screw up being a dad too bad. Right?” Abby scoffed at the last statement, sniffing back her tears. “That said I was a very different person years ago when I met your mother. And the truth is I don’t know if I could have been the father I would have wanted to be to you all those years ago. Heck I’m not even sure I’m the father I want for you right now.” he bit his lip pausing before he continued “not having you in my life all these years… it hurt and when I found out honestly I was mad too but- but I know your mother loved you Abbs and she only did what she did. She only kept this secret because she loved you and she thought it was the best for you.”

“I know,” Abby sighed.

“And now we do have each other and the rest of my crazy family,” he muttered, making her laugh a little. “It’s me and you kid and I’m not going anywhere”

“Thanks dad” she murmured sniffing back tears “but I’m still mad”

“I know,” Don murmured, pulling Abby into a hug “but I’m sure you’ve been mad at your mom before. She can take it and one day you’ll figure out how to forgive her, trust me.”

Chapter 16 ->

[amerasdreams]

I have been listening to True Spies podcast on Spotify. It’s apparently connected to a thing called Spyscape, which has a museum/experience thing in New York. They also have an online test for your personality and intelligence.... well those intelligence tests all of course have to do with math. and they are TIMED. somehow I got thru guessing most of them.... didn’t score 0 but didn’t score great. 

so guess what I scored on intelligence!  and personality scores mean I’m more prone to health problems and being unhappy.... :( 

(here I woke up thinking I can be uniquely me, I don’t want to be like anyone else anyway, I can embrace that... but how can I when what I am is this pathetic)

I shouldn’t have done this, I know what these tests do, make me discouraged and hate myself more. they even said I’m not imaginative and creative-- things I value most besides intelligence (and intuition/empathy...) 

they did say the “spy role” I was most suited for, which is what I’m most interested in, intelligence analyst. But in the more “practical” side, for jobs, it mentioned medical things, technical things, which I wouldn’t be good at and don’t like, business marketing-- working for a business I don’t care about, a job with no meaning....  it even had mathematician! when I’m obviously not good at math. the only jobs I might be interested in are psychologist/criminologist... idk.... to late for me to get any career anyway, let alone somehow what I really want

they did a risk assessment, where you blow up the balloon before it pops to get “money” - yesterday I started it and panicked when the balloon popped the first time and closed the window. then when I was walking the dogs it occured to me it was a test lol and I would just have to keep risking popping the balloon... so today I saw it as more of a game and not the ‘scary balloon popping oh no I lost money!” -not even real money. idk about fun.... all these things were stressful esp the intelligence test. 

today I started the test, thinking it might help me, get insight into what I can do, instead, it discouraged me, I’m what I thought, mediocre and not suited for much, they only gave a “role” to me because they had to give me something. It said the intelligence analyst is inquisitive--when it just said I wasn’t -  idk how this even fits with the test bc analytical? that wasn’t one of the dimensions and doesn’t seem like I scored high on implied analytical powers, same with determined-- 

how can i live with myself being like this, having no role and no future according to any dimension that really counts. don’t want to be plodding away at menial tasks when I want to do something Imaginative, Creative, Intellectual-- ha can’t even do that

oh I’m proving them right, easily stressed and sensitive and reactive -- 

I’m not including the risk assessment bc I don’t think it’s accurate-- I’m really very risk averse in all cases... oh we know that already so. 

~

results (bold/parentheses is mine)

MENTAL HORSEPOWER

Unlike Alan Turing would, you scored moderately low {yay!:(} on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that, on the whole, you struggle with complex mathematical and analytical problems. {so how can I be an analyst?} That said, you can usually spot patterns and find links in data – as long as the information you have been given isn’t too abstract. (I like big picture things.... abstract things... apparently I’m not good at it)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with a moderately low Mental Horsepower score, you are more likely to ‘go with your gut’ when making decisions rather than to apply logic and reason (that’s true.... logic is mystifying. fits with being INFP-- logic is my weakest point). It is unlikely that you will sit down and win a game of chess, and you probably rely on your satnav rather than read a map yourself. (yep.... chess is too much strategy... I can’t see ahead like that .. hm how could I be an analyst)

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are not a very conceptual thinker, you are better in roles where you can do things ‘automatically’ rather than applying any abstract reasoning skills. You are not bad at visual-spatial or mathematical tests though, and with training and practice, your skills will definitely improve.

THE SCIENCE

Mental Horsepower relates to our general cognitive ability and our capacity to think about, reason with, and understand abstract concepts. It particularly links to analytical and mathematical skills, but also covers memory, comprehension, language, learning capacity and judgement. These are hugely significant skills for success at work and in everyday life.

Psychologists have developed all kinds of tests to measure cognitive ability. Some of these involve predicting outcomes from patterns in data (also known as inductive reasoning), while others focus on mentally flipping and rotating images. We use both of these approaches in our Mental Horsepower tests at SPYSCAPE.

Recent neuroimaging research shows that intelligence is linked to brain patterns, and that these patterns are unique to each of us (meaning you can’t change them :(  )– much like our fingerprints. In one study, these brain ‘fingerprints’ were used to successfully predict people’s scores in IQ tests.

While IQ tests are probably the most common method for determining cognitive ability, there is some debate over whether they provide a complete picture. For example, theories suggest that there are many different types of intelligence which are not accounted for in these tests. Still, it is generally accepted that people who score highly on tests of cognitive ability are on the whole better at completing intelligence-related (so that career’s out... if it was ever in lol) tasks in the real world.

~

COMPOSURE

Unlike Jason Bourne, you scored extremely low (low on everything! what a wonderful person!) on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that you are far more vulnerable to stressors than most people (I knew that). You are likely to have a very strong emotional reaction to negative events and your brain becomes highly active when you see something you perceive as unpleasant (like this test!). Although this means you find it hard to relax, it also means you are really tuned in to your surroundings ( and what’s the upside of that? nice consolation prize....)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with extremely low levels of composure, you are highly likely to experience anxiety and burnout. (with things that aren’t really stressful to anyone else. just stepping outside. just being inside-- doing thigns like this.. doing most things actually-- help how can i live) You can be far too critical of yourself (well how do i stop? if this is how I am like), especially when you are stressed (which is almost all the time), and this can make it tricky for you to overcome problems (which is never, which is why I’m still living w my parents). You also dwell on the past far more than people with high composure.

On the positive side, you are responsive to your environment, which means you are more likely to anticipate negative outcomes and find ways to avoid them (like almost everything). You are also sensitive and caring, and your observant nature means you look out for yourself and the people close to you. (what’s the point of that when you can’t do anything, or get to know new people)

IN YOUR WORK

It is unlikely your colleagues will turn to you when there is an emergency or crisis at work. This is because you struggle to keep your emotions in check, and challenging situations can get the better of you. When this happens, you are not great at maintaining focus or making tough decisions.

THE SCIENCE

Composure relates to how our brains respond to stress. In tense situations, your brain activates an area called the hypothalamus, which releases adrenalin and cortisol – also known as stress hormones.

A bit of stress now and then is important for survival, because it alerts us to the dangers around us. Small amounts can be useful, but too much over a long period of time is bad for our health (oh goody). Studies show that the adrenal cortex, the part of the brain that releases stress hormones, is also linked to the healthy function of our immune system – and people who are more prone to stress are also more likely to get sick.

There is also a connection between composure and working (short-term) memory. Composed people perform better on tasks where they need to recall and use relevant information while they’re doing something else – for example remembering the steps of a recipe when cooking a meal.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN COMPOSURE ARE

LAID-BACK

RELAXED

COOL

FOCUSED

POISED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN COMPOSURE ARE

EMOTIONAL

SENSITIVE

PERCEPTIVE

RESPONSIVE

VIGILANT

~

Contentiousness

Unlike diligent Mission: Impossible hero Isla Faust, you scored moderately low on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that unlike Isla, you find it difficult to keep focused on long-term goals {Idk about this. goals are all i focus on.... well. I think about them often but Idk how to create the steps to get there and so things fizzle out and I get-- discouraged what else is new). You get distracted or bored quite quickly and are often drawn to new ideas and projects instead of finishing what you are currently doing (well.... hm. I finish novels...). You understand what is important in life, but you sometimes skip the details. (I’m not a detail person... I can be but they often seem irrelevant)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Because you prefer not to a follow a schedule, hobbies that require regular training are not for you. In fact, your interests change quite regularly, and you find long-term commitment a challenge whatever the activity. Friends and family know that if they want you to do something, they need to encourage you to get organized. When they press you, however, you do things pretty well.

IN YOUR WORK

You take a relatively flexible approach to work. As such, you get distracted easily and do not always complete the task in hand. Because of your tendency to do this, you are likely to change jobs – and perhaps even career – fairly regularly (I want variety... Idk, this sort of fits, sort of doesn’t).

THE SCIENCE

Conscientiousness shapes how likely you are to follow rules, regulate your own behavior and get yourself organized. The more conscientious you are, the more motivated by goals and tasks you are likely to be.

According to what psychologists call the ‘Big-5’ model, conscientiousness is a core dimension of personality – and one of the five key traits that drive human behavior. Whether you are high or low in conscientiousness can help predict your success in social, academic and professional situations.

If you have high levels of conscientiousness, you are probably more productive and better at adapting to new situations (that’s true, I’m not) that come your way. However, this does not mean that being conscientious is always a good thing, because research also shows that being too conscientious can lead to overthinking. (I do that too...)

Some studies suggest that people who are more conscientious are healthier – and they might even live longer. This might be because conscientious people are more likely to exercise regularly, eat healthily, and avoid smoking or drinking too much alcohol.

It’s hard to say where conscientiousness comes from. One study found a link with areas of the brain relating to attention and cognitive control. There is also evidence to suggest that genes play their part. It’s likely that social factors such as your upbringing influence how conscientious you are, too.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

HIGH-ACHIEVING

ACCOUNTABLE

THOROUGH

DRIVEN

SELF-DISCIPLINED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

IMPULSIVE

FLEXIBLE

EASY-GOING

SPONTANEOUS

ADAPTABLE

(I think I’m sort of this, sort of not because I’m borderline INFP -- P is flexible, impulsive while J is more structured-- I’m slightly more Perceiving. goes to show Myers-Briggs is pretty good at describing personality accurately....)

~

INQUISITIVENESS

Unlike Carrie Mathison in Homeland, you scored moderately low on this attribute. Your score was driven by your performance in the personality tests, and it suggests that you are pretty cautious about new ideas, beliefs, cultures and theories.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people who scored moderately low on this attribute, you are not so willing to take on board other people’s views (that’s true). You will consider what people have to say, but you are likely to stick with your own opinion. You feel more comfortable in familiar situations and surroundings (well, yes...), and you do not really feel the need to explore new places (I kind of do, though... I want to but I often... don’t. because it’s too hard).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you aren’t motivated to learn or acquire new skills (Idk about this... depends on if it’s something I’m interested in. I’m learning like 15 languages on Duolingo...), you are less likely to seek out new opportunities at work. And the longer you stay in a job, the worse your motivation is likely to get. In general, you tend to perform better when you start a new position, although you will carry this out using the same approach you always have, rather than approach it in a new way. You like real-world, practical work that has straightforward solutions.

THE SCIENCE

Inquisitiveness is an important trait for discovering new things and building a better understanding of people and of the world around us. Psychologists have developed tools for assessing and measuring how inquisitive a person is.

These are based on extensive research into personality and are designed to evaluate five facets related to inquisitiveness: (i) intellectual curiosity; (ii) aesthetic sensitivity; (iii) active imagination; (iv) attentiveness to inner feelings and; (v) preference for variety.

Furthermore, personality researchers have identified two types of inquisitiveness; ‘epistemic’, which refers to information seeking ( I think I’m more information seeking?) behaviour and ‘perceptual’, which refers to experience seeking.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

CURIOUS

OPEN-MINDED

IMAGINATIVE AND INVENTIVE

CREATIVE

ADAPTIVE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

PRACTICAL

CONSISTENT

TRADITIONAL

HABITUAL

PRAGMATIC

~

SOCIABILITY

A bit like Alec Leamas in The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, you scored extremely low (yay. well I knew this... and from answering the questions... )on this attribute, which suggests that you prefer to spend time alone and keep yourself to yourself. You avoid parties, meet-ups and other noisy gatherings because you find them overwhelming (wayyyy). If you really have to socialize, you need plenty of quiet time afterwards to help you rest and recharge.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like others with an extremely low sociability score, you don’t like being the center of attention and often struggle to start conversations. You think a lot before speaking and regularly find it hard to express your thoughts and ideas. Because of this, you often let others do the talking, and you don’t take part in small talk either. This behavior means you might come across as socially reactive, and people may think you only talk to them when you feel you really have to (as in, extremely negative, and I shouldn’t exist. although... i do talk to them if I have to.... haha I do take part in small talk because I think I have to. or people will think I’m rude. but I don’t like it. I’m sensitive to how I’m perceived and don’t want to be seen as too antisocial, but I talk to others out of fear not of want... yikes. no wonder no one wants to be around me. well I don't want to be around them. well - I want to be around people I know well. for limited amounts of time... need less to recharge from people I know than strangers. I want to be with them, I don’t want to be with strangers-- it’s only stress and not fun at all. but how do i get past the stranger part to the friend part if I don’t like being with strangers and it’s all stressful adn overwhelming? How do i participate in society, have people to talk to, have any sort of success??? - shouldn't exist.).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are more comfortable working independently (please. HOW???? besides working for myself... haha can’t work for anyone else bc can’t get past the interview, these ^ traits are obvious and not something any employer in their right mind wants), you will be more productive – and much happier – managing your own workload, tackling problems alone, and avoiding company brainstorms and powwows.

THE SCIENCE

How sociable you are can be linked to your levels of happiness, positivity, and wellbeing. In fact, sociability relates to a variety of positive outcomes in life, including how successful you are at work, how well you cope with challenging situations, and even how physically and mentally healthy you are. (yay. I’m doomed. I might as well kill myself now)

People who are highly sociable are more positive emotionally (case in point!) than those who are less sociable. In one brain imaging study, people with a high sociability score had higher levels of brain activity when they saw images of happy faces and other positive emotions.

The same part of the brain that processes emotions also helps interpret information from social contexts, which means we can judge a social situation and then respond appropriately (social situations, like math problems and logic, are mystifying to me. yay the things that are highest linked to success--).

There is some evidence to suggest that highly sociable people might be better at detecting and decoding the meaning of social cues –  including how they analyze and read people’s faces (oh, I know that. I have a hard time judging people’s faces, in fact I often think they are mad at me or judging me by their faces when they probably aren’t. I even have trouble finding out what emotions go with what emoji! besides the basics. i mean why, how are there so many emojis....). This means they are likely to find social interaction easier to deal with than others (lol yes. it’s . not easy. why. do i have to be born like this. always been. hell..).

There is also research to suggest that highly sociable people have more connections between regions of the brain that involve visual stimulus and regions that process social and emotional stimuli. (brains are better, we get it)

Sociability might also be associated with the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is linked to reward-seeking behavior. It is thought that people who are highly sociable may have an enhanced response to dopamine in the brain, which makes them pursue rewards such as attention, status, power or pleasure. This would explain why, when they get these things, they feel happier or more satisfied.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN SOCIABILITY ARE

TALKATIVE

FRIENDLY

ENTHUSIASTIC

ENERGETIC

EXCITABLE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN SOCIABILITY ARE

QUIET

RESERVED

INTROSPECTIVE

PRIVATE

SHY

^ ALLL negative attributes, I need to just kill myself now, no future. 

[willow-salix]

Isolation update!

Day 65 of isolation on Tracy Island and there was something weird going on.

“Arghhh, no! Get off you crazy machine!” I swiped at MAX as he rolled silently up behind Scott. “That was just too close for comfort, he almost got you.” Itt was the third time I’d caught him sneaking up behind one of us and I didn't trust him one bit. You want to know why? Because he was brandishing a pair of hair clippers. That was just asking for trouble.

“Stupid bag of bolts,” Scott yelped as he dived out of the way. 

“What is with him lately?” Gordon grumbled, “he tried it with me yesterday while I was sunbathing.”

“And me while I was playing my game,” Alan added.

“Well, you are all looking a little worse for wear now,” I hedged. Who was I kidding, a little worse for wear? No, they were growing hair faster than a teenager in puberty. 

Scott had stolen a hairband from me and was currently sporting a half pony, Virgil was rapidly developing a flock of seagulls fringe as his hair grew heavier and lost its battle with gravity. Alan had resorted to a man bun, it was tiny, but it was there and it was just the cutest thing that I couldn't stop flicking it, much to his annoyance. John was still in his Disney bangs stage, his front curl growing out and flopping forward with the weight of the extra length. And Gordon, well...he was just a mess quite honestly, growing long all over with no discernible shape to it and no way to tame it. 

The problem was none of us had the skills or guts to try to do anything about it. They had all agreed that it was best to just let it grow out and wrestle it into submission rather than risk a cut. You could always take more away but you couldn't put it back on. They would wait until they could get to an actual barber.

“Where is Brains?” I wondered out loud. “Why is he letting MAX roam freely with instruments of destruction?”

“Have any of you guys actually seen Brains lately?” Scott asked.

We all stopped what we were doing at the same instant, like something out of a cartoon, listen, think, realisation, FREEZE. Slowly, one by one, we each shook our heads.

“I’ve not seen him since Wednesday,” Virgil answered.

“Probably Monday for me, but I don’t spend much time in the labs,” I answered slowly, trying to cast my mind back.

“Wednesday too,” John confirmed.

“He has to be somewhere,” Gordon said. 

Food was vanishing from the fridge and the pantry in the middle of the night, bottles of water and juice were growing legs and walking away but we never saw any of it leave. We were used to him never turning up for meals because he was buried in his work, but this was getting ridiculous.

“Don’t you think we should go and look for him?” I asked, just a wee bit concerned.

“Nah, you know how he is when he’s busy, he hates to be disturbed. Remember that time he pitched a fit when Scott walked in and he threw his model on the floor?” Alan reminded us. 

“Oh, yeah, I remember that,” Scott nodded. 

“No, come on now you guys, we can’t just ignore this and not bother to check on him, what if somethings wrong? He could be having a really tough time and need his friends and you lot are just gonna sit around on your butts and keep watching Friends?”

They exchanged glances but didn't look convinced.

“He really does hate to be disturbed,” Virgil said. “You’ve never seen him angry.”

 I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“Bunch of wimps! Seriously, it’s Brains, how bad can it be?”

They declined to comment.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Don’t say we didn't warn you,” Scott warned me, going back to the game he was playing with Alan on the games console.

“So none of you are coming with me?” 

Nothing, they all avoided looking at me.

I propped my hands on my hips and brought out the raised eyebrow of doom. 

Gordon nudged John, who glanced over at me. I waited. He got up.

                                                               ***

“The door’s locked,” I said, quite unnecessarily really. It was quite plain to see that no amount of pushing or pulling was making it budge.

“Brains?” I knocked on the door. “Are you OK in there?” 

We listened carefully but heard nothing.

“He’s just busy,” John assured me but I wasn't convinced.

“Brains!” I yelled. “Answer us!”

We heard a noise inside but the door didn't open.

“Go away! I don’t wish to be d...disturbed!”

“Does he sound funny to you?” I asked John. He shrugged. Typical man.

“I’m putting my foot down, come out. It’s not good for you to be locked away for days. You need human contact, you need to talk to people. You’ll go mad in there on your own!”

No answer.

“I’m really worried about him.”

“Let’s give him a few hours, if he’s not out by then we’ll try again.”

I nodded, that's about all we could do.

“We’re going away for a bit, but we WILL BE BACK!” I yelled through the door. “So unless you want us breaking in, you had better come out and let us know youre still alive. You got three hours, Brainiac!”

We headed back to the lounge to update everyone on the situation and in my case, to start a timer. I was deadly serious, if he wasn’t  out in three hours I was sending Virgil in to go full out hulk smash on the lab door.

Two hours and forty-eight minutes later and we heard a noise behind us. There was a beep and a whirl as MAX zoomed in, followed by the shuffling of feet.

We all looked up just as Brains popped his head around the door frame.

“A...as you can see, I am q...quite well, there will be no need for f...further threats,” his head withdrew again and he began to make his escape.

“Hey, Brains, don’t run off, come in and sit with us for a bit,” Virgil invited.

“Yeah, Brains, we haven't seen you in days, you can’t spend all your time stuck in your lab you know,” Gordon said, joining in.

“I...I’d rather n...not. I am rather busy.”

I have a highly tuned radar for suspicious activity, and that lad was being the most evasive that i’d ever witnessed.

“What’s going on?” 

“N...nothing!” Brains shifted uncomfortably and that's when we spotted his head.

“Why are you wearing a hat in doors?” Scott asked.

“No reason! I really must get back,” he turned away but MAX, trying to help, got there first. His arm, the one holding the clippers, shot out aimed at his head. Brains tried to duck at the same time as MAX moved, resulting in a midair collision that knocked his hat flying.

We all gasped, stunned at the sight of Brains with a completely bald head.

“Don’t look, I l..l...look awful.”

“What the heck happened, Brains?” Virgil asked, the only one of us that had enough self control to speak without laughing. I admit it, I had my face buried in Gordon’s chest and wasn't able to come out for a good few minutes while he had collapsed over my back, struggling to breathe as he attempted to hold in his laughter.

Max reached out again, his clippers buzzing and it was suddenly all too obvious exactly what had occurred.

“M...MAX’s new programming didn't go quite to p...plan. This was the only way I c...could see to fix it”

And here, in the villa lounge, we see the Brains, king of the understatement,out of his natural habitat and regretting all his life choices. 

[theshinsun]

A-Z for honesty hour because I'm an asshole. :D

A - If I’m in love.

...yes. I never thought I would be again, I thought I’d been too hurt and jaded to feel this way again, but against all odds, I’m back to being 17 in full force.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

The only one who ever calls me is my mother. And customers at work.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

damn, almost a year now… not since my last relationship ended back in October-ish. even then, it was mostly casual pecks idk if we ever seriously made out tbh.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

already answered (twice) but I'll keep going… I've got a definite preference of guys over girls, but I'm also a bi disaster and sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense why this person is instantly attractive to me while that person isn't. certain aspects of femininity do appeal to me, but weirdly other aspects seem to be a turn-off and I can't always put my finger on what or why. ...that caveat does not apply to masculinity though, even if it's traditionally "masculine" features on a feminine-presenting individual I am 100% down every time.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

two and a half? I got a third piercing at some point halfway up the lobe but it got infected and scarred over I think. the holes I do have are also stretched (I'm up to 0G now) and I've been meaning to get some more.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

wasn't given any options, so I guess I'll go with hot or cold lol. I prefer hot, I'm one of those weirdos who loves summer because of the heat and I'll usually take a hot food/drink over a cold one.

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

my mom, over the phone just now.

H - The last person I hugged.

my roommate. we're not always super touchy-feely with each other but I've been feeling kind of down and she noticed.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I'm not usually a very jealous person, but the last time I really felt that way… I'd recently broken up with my ex, and they were sitting on someone else's lap and I… felt things. part of the reason I realized I may have made a mistake.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is

already answered, my first and middle are Jacob Brooks, I'm not putting my last name out there sorry I don't trust like that.

L - If I have siblings.

already answered, I've got two, an older brother and a younger sister.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I mean, I forgive but I don't forget, ya know? like I'll accept an apology if it's sincere and welcome the person back and never bring it up again, but I'm probably gonna be cautious around them in the future, and not trust them as readily as I would have before.  

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

if I call someone my friend it means I really feel close with them, and I treat my friends basically like my family. I try to always be honest and supportive of them, bc I love and appreciate them and just want them to be happy. 

O - If I like my school.

I love my school. the campus is beautiful, the teachers are fantastic, and I just love being there and learning and growing in my classes. I'm really sad this semester is probably going to be mostly online because I really feel like I belong in those studios and on that campus and I miss it.

P - What kind of music I like.

already answered, and it mostly boiled down to all over the fuckin place, so this time… band recommendations, here we go. no you have no say in this.

here, have a clump of random favorite bands off the top of my head: mother mother, bad suns, nothing but thieves, hozier, shearwater, the neighbourhood, steam powered giraffe, rainbow kitten surprise, the oh hellos, gregory alan isakov, caravan palace, mystery skulls, khai dreams, autoheart, muse, silversun pickups, thousand foot krutch, two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, blue october, jukebox the ghost

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

I'm not a partier at All, but I did have a bunch of friends over for the 4th (okay I say a bunch but it was like four people from our usual less-socially distant circle). I have no idea when the next get-together will be, it's kinda hard to plan those kinds of things lately.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

the phrasing of this question is weird but I'm gonna assume it means things I'm curious about? let's go with that.

travel. I haven't ever been out of the country and I'd like to see other parts of the world at least at some point in my life.

tattoos. both getting them and learning to do them, it's a niche branch of art that I'm just fascinated by and I might like to do it as a career if I knew more about it.

same thing with being a florist. I'm really drawn to it as a concept and I'm super curious how it works, but I have no idea what kind of… qualifications and whatnot I'd need for that.

 surfing. I'm surrounded by the lifestyle and now kind of own a surfboard, I just want to know what the appeal is.

this may be a bit tmi, but I'm really curious what it's like to have a dick. I don't suppose I'll strictly ever know, but I still really want to… probably one of the biggest things to clue me in that I'm definitely trans is the literal penis envy ngl. 

I've always kind of had a fascination with the ocean, and I'd love to go like, scuba diving or something someday, to see it up close and personal.

I think everyone has the impulse thought of shaving their head at some point. maybe someday I will I don't quite have the balls to do it now.

I've gone this long in my life and never wielded a sword? a travesty. I don't pretend to have the grace to actually know how to use one, but I've like, never even held a real one and the idea interests me a lot.

this one might be slightly morbid curiosity, but I don't think I've ever been like, properly drunk or high before, like I've been tipsy but I've never been wasted, you know? the idea kind of scares me and I don't think I'm going to go out and remedy it, but it's still there, and even if I know it's not a good idea, I do still wonder what that's like.

same vein, maybe even a little darker, but I've got at least a little morbid curiosity about like, death and real danger. again, not planning to act on it At All, but the thought is still lurking in the back of my mind like what if…? you asked for honesty.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

S - 2 habits.

bit of a new habit, but I have a whole ritual of disinfecting groceries when I bring them home, and then disinfecting the door knobs and counters. I don't know if it'll persist after the pandemic is over, but it's already ingrained in me and I don't feel comfortable if I skip it or do  it differently.

I apologize for things that aren't my fault. it's such an instinct at this point to say "sorry" when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that it doesn't even register anymore, even when people tell me not to be sorry, I'm still gonna say it, sorry.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

already answered so here's 5 more

my family. if I haven't got my family I haven't got anything, we've got each others' backs and I won't turn on them for anything

my friends. same deal, I owe so much to my friends, I love them, and that won't change no matter what they decide to do or be.

sleep. I love sleep so much, even if it's just an involuntary nap, though for someone who loves it so much I sure don't get enough of it

spotify. I know it has problems, I know there are probably more streamlined/cheaper music streaming services out there, but at this point, I've sunk too much of my time and energy into this one and I'll never give it up

my ocs. I don't talk about them very much on this platform, but I have them, they're my children, and I love them even if they're assholes and never easy to write/draw. 

U - How many texts I send daily.

already answered, the number varies, and sometimes swings drastically between like, 5 and 35 on any given day.

V - 3 big dreams.

graduate art school. it's gonna be a serious undertaking and probably take several more years and a lot of loans at this point, but I'm still determined to get there someday.

someday I want to write a book. I know I've said that before on a different prompt, but it wouldn't be a list of dreams without including this one that I've held onto since childhood. 

this one's kind of vague, but someday… I want to not be afraid anymore. like I want to finally be in a state of mental/financial security so I can live my life without the fear of what's coming next. 

W - An idol.

it's probably really basic to list a youtuber, but I've still gotta go with Chase Ross. the guy was an inspiration and a major source of information and support for me early-on in my transition, and even watching him now I still want to approach life with the pure positive energy and confidence that he has. 

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

yes. a couple things, really… some of which I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for.

Y - If I like my town and why.

my current town? yeah, it's got its problems but it's also beautiful and full of life and art and unique energy and I miss the days before the Corona End Times when I could actually go out and enjoy it.

Z - Ask any question you want.

??? I did not receive any specification for this one, and given that I didn't skip even the duplicate answers and this is ridiculously long, this one I'm gonna SKIP.

[hedwigstalons]

Joining The Dots

Alan got annoyed that his contribution to Tracy Prize was limited to a few smart ass comments and some eye rolls.  The kid decided to get all dramatic as revenge.

 xoxoxox

 Alan stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The angry red spot on his jaw line stared back at him.  Sometimes being a teenager sucked.  He debated whether to just ride it out but he wasn’t in the mood for the inevitable teasing from Gordon.  

 He felt tired and irritable.  Perhaps he ought to cut back on the late night gaming.  His skin was paler than usual and the dark circles under his eyes only served to accentuate the pimple.  Grabbing the small tube of concealer from the back of his cabinet Alan made a passable job of covering up the welt.  

He ventured into the kitchen but nothing tempted him. The distracted opening and closing of cupboard doors drew the attention of Scott who was working his way through his own post-run breakfast.

 “You ok there Allie?”

 “Yeah, just not really hungry.”

 Now Scott was worried.  The calorific intake of the International Rescue operatives was phenomenal. Alan normally had the double hit of typical teenage appetite added to the hunger born of having a physically demanding job.  If he wasn’t hungry something was probably wrong.  

 Scott passed a closer eye over his youngest sibling. He noted the pale complexion and drooping eyelids.

 “Are you sure you’re ok?”

 “I’m fine.  Just a bit of a headache, that’s all.  I’ll grab a couple of tablets from the infirmary and maybe head back to bed for a while.”

 “No.  You go straight back to your room now and I’ll fetch the tablets.  You look dead on your feet.”

 Anal nodded gratefully, wincing slightly at the motion. The bright sunshine through the panoramic windows was suddenly feeling just that little bit too bright.  He scratched distractedly at an itch on the back of his neck and felt another lump.  He must be run down if he was getting a full on acne breakout.  Alan trudged back to his room and collapsed onto the bed.

 When Scott entered the dimly lit sanctuary a short while later his smothering instincts went into overload.  For a start the teenager was on the bed rather than the floor and this alone was enough to rouse suspicions that it was more than just a simple headache troubling him.  

 Alan seized upon the offered water and painkillers and gulped them down rapidly.  A steady hand was placed against his forehead, checking his temperature.

 “Well bed is definitely the right place for you” his eldest brother said kindly.  “Come on, get those clothes off and get into bed properly.”

 Alan grimaced but the look on Scott’s face showed he wasn’t going to leave until Alan had complied.  He pulled his shirt off over his head and dumped it over the side of the bed onto the floor.  The moving material felt rough and itchy against him and he scratched at his arms and chest.

 “Whoa, Allie.  That’s not good.”  The alarm and concern in Scott’s voice was clear to hear.

 Alan looked down at himself.  The exposed skin was marred by angry dots.  The start of an unidentified rash was spreading across his body.

 “Infirmary.  Now. We need to get you into quarantine.”

 Pausing only long enough for some pyjamas to be gathered up Alan found himself marched to the infirmary.  His body now ached and the itch was spreading.  It was a relief to finally slip between the cool white sheets and sink back to sleep it the darkened room.

 xoxoxox

 Scott was worried.  Worried for both his family and the organisation that they kept running on minimal manpower.  Alan was going to be off duty for an unknown amount of time and they had no idea what was ailing the teen.

 He looked through the observation window into the infirmary. Alan looked even younger than normal. The washed out skin would be barely distinguishable from the white linen if it wasn’t for the bright red spots. Spots that had rapidly multiplied until every inch of him was covered in the mystery rash.

 Full quarantine had been implemented.  Alan was sealed off with any visitors forced to wear bio-hazard suits.  It felt like an extreme reaction but they couldn’t risk an infection spreading, especially since they didn’t know what they were dealing with.  

 Even Scott was isolated and under observation in case he had already contracted the disease.  He paced about the room like a caged tiger.  He felt fine but until they had answers it wasn’t worth the risk.  He might be confined to quarters but that didn’t stop the Commander from taking charge of the situation.

 He opened a link to Thunderbird Five.  “John, I want you and Eos to analyse Alan’s mission logs. Go through every instance he has left the island in the last four weeks.  Cross reference this with any local medical board reports on disease outbreaks.  Let’s see if we can’t work out what he has been exposed to.”

 His next contact was to Brains.  The scientist and medic had already drawn blood samples from his patient and was working hard to identify the cause of Alan’s illness.

 “Any progress Brains?”

 “N-n-negative, Scott.  I b-b-believe the cause is viral but I am finding it d-d-difficult to identify the specific strain.  Once John has c-c-compiled a list of options I c-c-can narrow down the testing.”

 “I understand.  Just keep trying.”

 xoxoxox

 Brains was at a loss.  Normally the Tracys were a robust and healthy bunch.  Medical intervention tended to fall into the ‘patch it and stitch it’ category with maybe the occasional concussion thrown in for variety.  Actual illness on the island was a rarity.

 A blood sample drawn from Alan had confirmed Brains’ suspicions that Alan was harbouring a virus.  The virus was currently developing in a cell culture in the laboratory.  Once this had been completed he would be able to sequence the virus genome and identify the culprit.  These stages took time though.  As many of the process involved were automatic he settled down with Alan’s medical file to see if that would yield any answers.

 Alan’s file was impressively thick despite his youthfulness.  Every ailment and injury was detailed.  The results of every annual medical were contained in thorough reports.  Each vaccination and booster received was listed; a list that was more comprehensive than for the average individual due to the need to be able to undertake missions in every geographic regions. Many illnesses had been eradicated through global health programmes but there was still a need vaccinations. Alan hated injection days.

 Brains delved back further into the childhood records, tacked on as an appendix to the main report.

 Brains scoured the list, blinked, and checked it again.  

 There was one glaring omission from the vaccine list. One that he had never even thought to administer because it was normally dealt with in toddlerhood, long before he had taken over the youth’s medical care.  The varicella vaccine.

 It wasn’t conclusive proof of what Alan was suffering from but it gave him a starting point for his investigations and it could yield answers faster than trying to conduct a genome sequencing from scratch.

 He checked in with John to see if there was any chance his hunch could be correct.  A quick test of the sample now he knew what he was looking for, confirmed his suspicions.

 xoxoxox

 Scott was restless and agitated.  His baby brother was sick and he was powerless to help. He couldn’t even sweat out his agitation in the gym until Brains had cleared him as free from the illness that had struck down Alan.

 He leapt to his feet when the door to the isolation room opened.

 Scott relaxed slightly when Brains appeared. The lack of bio-hazard suit showed that the medic had good news for him.

 “You are c-c-clear to leave, Scott.  You aren’t contagious”

 “Does this mean you have worked out what it is that Allie has?”

 He looked through the observation at his brother who was scratching at the spots even in his sleep.

 “Yes.  Alan has chicken p-p-pox.”

 “Chicken pox?  How on earth has he managed to pick that up.  We were all vaccinated against that as kids.”

 “John suspects the source of the infection was that luddite c-c-community Alan went to help last w-w-week.”

 “That doesn’t explain why Alan caught it though.”

 “Alan was never v-v-vaccinated.  His early records show the appointment w-w-was made but Alan never went and it was n-n-never followed up.”

 “But Dad was always so thorough about these things.”

 “It wasn’t your father that m-m-made the appointment. Your m-m-mother did.  Alan should have had his shots the w-w-week after your skiing holiday.  Under the circumstances…”

 Brains tailed off.  Scott didn’t need any help remembering that time period in their lives. It was obvious which holiday Brains was alluding to.  That holiday had changed their lives forever.  The moment when their mother had been cruelly snatched away by the avalanche.  It was small wonder that the routine appointment had been missed.  The family had bigger concerns at the time than a two year olds injections.  Their father probably hadn’t even been aware of the appointment.

 “So what does this mean now?”

 “The g-g-good news is that everyone else on the island has immunity.  The b-b-bad news is that chicken p-p-pox can be worse the older you c-c-contract it. Alan will be very unwell for about t-t-two weeks and will then need recovery t-t-time.”

 Scott looked through the glass to the limp form in the next room.  He cursed himself that something so simple had been overlooked and now Alan was paying the price.  At least he was now cleared to care for his baby brother.

 Scott hurried through to the main part of the infirmary to do what he did best; looking after his family.

[darkestwolfx]

Falling Skies - Re-Review #14

Here we are at the start of part 2 of Series 1! I don’t remember this episode too well either as I haven’t re-watched it in ages, so it’s another of those fun ones where I’m writing and avidly watching!

I will still love this moment. It reminds me of the TOS episode ‘The Imposters’, even the bags are styled similarity - it is just crazy that someone needs to take that much with them!

“Oh wow, Parker! Isn’t it amazing?”

“hI’m stunned, M’Lady. hIn hall my years, hI’ve never seen hanything quite like hit. hAll this luggage for a single night stay. You’ve really houtdone yourself.”

“Thank you.”

Not sure I’d be proud of carrying that much luggage...

“Maybe they could give me ha ‘and with hit...”

Whilst we’re at it, the most popular image that comes up for this episode on google is endless screenshots of Lady Penelope’s luggage... Priorities, everyone. I mean look everything’s going wrong, the hotel is in danger!

But look at what totally still manages to make it into the shot, just saying.

And look who else made it into the shot: Kat Cavanugh, who we will all just ignore

I love that Lady Penelope still has a photo of her own for a call sign.

“It would be far more fun if the man who made it all possible could be here with me.”

“I’m not much for p-parties. Even this is more than I deserve.”

“Well you can’t blame a girl for trying. I’ll get you out of that workshop one of these days, Brains.”

I don’t think she quite achieved that, but she did manage it with John so let’s allow her her trying.

Speaking of John, let’s get busy!

“Thunderbird Five, what’s going on up there?”

“It sounds like some kind of structural failure in the outer hull.”

“The f-force of the decompression had pushed the hotel out of orbit. Unless we can correct that it’s going to enter the atmosphere... and crash. Something this large hitting the ground it would be c-catastrophic!”

Family moment! I may be short lived but I do not care. I mean, we’re missing Gordon, but he’s there in spirit in my opinion.

Poor Brains though, he tries so hard. Good on Grandma thought for helping him out.

“Let’s go down to that workshop of yours and think something up.”

 Thunderbird Three was out of fuel? I wonder why...

Anyway, if only all family squabbles were as easy to solve like this;

“Everybody agree?”

“Yep!”

“Agreed.”

“Sure.”

I love how Grandma actually fell asleep during a rescue! I don’t remember noticing that before either.

“Looking good, Thunderbird Three.”

Never heard of speaking too soon, Scott?

“We have another gull breech!”

“Not hone hof the better parties hI’ve been to.”

I agree with Parker.

“It’s all under control!” “Scott, I thought you had this under control?”

“Sorry Lady Penelope, I thought I did too.”

Yeah, they’re human, they can get big headed.

“Thunderbird Five, you better get the hotel on the line. I think it’s time to get the guests aboard escape capsules.” “That was fast!”

“Yeah, except I haven’t called the hotel. I’m pretty sure those escape capsules were empty.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, right?”

Urr... wild guess at no Alan.

These two really do crack me up.

“What’s shaking bacon?”

“Gordon, you smell.”

“At least now it smells like hard work.”

And I mean, we should have guessed that someone would catch on, and Virgil was the one who “interrupted” them back in ‘Tunnels of Time’.

“They’ll be a certain VIP on this flight. Name starts with Lady, ends with Penelope.”

“Now that you mention it, a three minute shower and a clean uniform wouldn’t hurt.”

“Computer, disable shower controls.”

Technology has too much power. Point proven.

They just can’t help it, can they? And this smile is still forever worth the torture.

“Guess you’ll have to smell like hard work.”

You know that moment where you see someone you like and you think you’ll just go over and say hello, because how bad can it be?

Well here is that moment for Gordon;

Yeah... I won’t kick a man while he’s down by showing him get (somewhat) rejected.

“Fancy meeting you here, M’Lady.”

“Gordon, what a surprise. Oh... glad you freshened up for the occasion.”

“I put on a clean uniform!”

“Thrilled for you, Sir. Momentous hoccasion for hus hall.”

“Parker, don’t you have some bags to carry?”

“hOh, hI knew hI forgot something.”

Settle in for 5 years worth of built-up relationship creating tension in the space of a few weeks everyone!

“So you’re not here to watch me save the day?”

“Ahh... no.”

Yeah, definitely a no, Alan. Kayo actually got to go out bad guy hunting again. In fact, she gets to do that a bit more often in this part of the series if I remember rightly? I would love to know how The Hood got on board, but I mean, he’s a super villain who can change his face, so I should know the answer to that already really. Remember, always look out of the appearance of sudden creepy guys walking behind you. And sound a little like The Hood...

You know I wasn’t aware The Hood was in the “construction business”, I thought he was in more of the ‘deconstruction business’.

I’m sure central Florida would not have welcomed a crashed hotel.Those people it flew by certainly wouldn’t have either even if they did get a nice chair out of it.

Rescue count: 19

I loved Parker and Sherbet at the end there and Virgil and Gordon! Of course there would be payback, and Sherbet never quite made into space, but he did get to go high up into the atmosphere.

I know would like to know how The Hood managed to land the escape capsule back on Earth, which had to be possible for he reappears... Oh well, I’ll just run with it.

And remember everyone, if in doubt, always think like Grandma;

“What does your gut tell you? Close your eyes and listen to your feelings.”

[gothamdetected-a]

multiverse.

i know what you’re thinking. sim are you absolutely fucking insane, don’t even TRY to tackle this one. you’re right i am insane. and yes i am still going to try and tackle a meta about DC multiverses HOWEVER, to give myself on shred of sanity on this treacherous journey, i will say that this is mainly going to be about the multiverse from a bruce perspective. this ride is a batman focused train i’m afraid. also i want to state that this is by no means a perfect explanation – i’m a) trying to keep it simple and b) still am lost on parts of the timeline myself so. its what i can offer.

ok so, originally NCP, or the national comics publication (who will one day become DC), wrote their golden age heroes on an earth now designated as earth-2. in the 30s, just before the war, comic books absolutely exploded as a media format, and a bunch of companies all jumped the gun on creating superheroes. many of DCs most endearing and recognisable heroes were created all the way back then, however many of them also are not quite who you will recognise as the character today. hal jordan wasn’t green lantern, but was instead a man called alan scott, jay garrick was the flash instead of barry allen etc etc. don’t worry though! batman is still batman, and has been bruce wayne since 1939. earth-2 batman, as he will come to be known, is a bright kind of guy found on technicolour pages with a cute lil robin by his side – there is a reason for this. the war. literally NCP said we cant be sending out dark and gritty comics to people dying in trenches so time to make it colourful and faintly ridiculous, and bruce wayne is a surprisingly optimistic guy for a man who watched his parents be slaughtered in front of him.

of course, by the 60s, NCP (who are also sort of known as NPP and really known by your average joe as superman-dc, based on their most successful comic runs) had realised their timelines were getting a bit squiggly for their golden age heroes, and most of them had been replaced out by their silver age counterparts anyway. so between 1961 and 1963, NCP start creating another “earth”, officially designated earth-1, which would become their main planet for all kinds of superhero shenanigans. the justice society of america becomes the justice league of america, and when you think of batman, you’re probably thinking of earth-1 batman. at least pre crisis. and, once they get taste for building whole new earths, we also get earth-3 (1964), or “opposite world”, where the good guys are bad guys, and batman is owlman and instead of the jla we have the crime syndicate of america.  

so sim, what other earths did dc come up with? well, i literally refuse to list them all because it was a multiverse and they did not slow down, but the ones that are most important to me are earth-5 where the only hero to live on this planet is bruce wayne/batman, and earth-89 where lois marries bruce instead of clark ahAHAHHAA. but i can tell you that pre-crisis there are 91 designated earths, and basically it could have gone on forever. there was an earth-c minus, earth-124.1, an earth where everyone was reptiles, honestly it was a MESS. and therein lies the problem.

now i’ve just used the term “pre-crisis”. what’s that, sim? maybe you’re not very familiar with comics, or with the recent dctv version of said comics, and so i will endeavour to explain one of the most brain numbing storylines that spans DC. also known as a retcon. see all these earths with their own histories and heroes and well everything really was becoming very inconvenient and meant a lot of world jumping and who can interact with who and everything was getting like spaghetti because they couldn’t calm down on the earth-building. so DC (who are officially DC at this point, 1977 babeyy), specifically a guy called marv wolfman (coolest name ever) who was sick of so many earths, comes up with the bright idea that will later form into a comic run called crisis on infinite earths (1985-1986). it was a serious crossover event, really considered by many to be the first of its kind. it sold extremely well, boosting dc’s flagging sales against it’s biggest rival, marvel. and as for the plot, it’s a bit convoluted but essentially some bloke turns up and starts to destroy all these worlds, and it becomes a race between the heroes and villains as to who can save/conquer the remaining earths that are left. although there are crises before and after this specific run, pre-crisis basically always refers to this particular crisis event, as it really shaped DC for the next 30 years.

for a while the retcon does an okay job of keeping the number of earths low. there’s still some earths that are considered non-continuous floating around, but mainly there’s just earth-1, which is now a merger of the most important “earths” that existed pre-crisis, and a way for all of DCs heroes to now be in one place and interact with each other. other earths at this point include;

earth-23 (1986) – a small pocket dimension

earth-17 (1990) – we don’t talk about this. honestly spare yourself and. don’t look. its horrific.

earth-27 (1990) – a historically divergent planet with a hero actually called vegetable man.

earth-85 (1987) – a hodgepodge of post-crisis characters live here, chillin

earth-988 (1990) – superboy is the only hero in this universe

the antimatter universe – all of pre-crisis’ earth-3 villains, including owlman, get shoved here for later use when dc need a couple of villains to come back.

and for a while all is well. then comes DC elseworlds (1989). which. you know. i love. it gave me victorian batman. pirate batman. caveman batman. vampire batman. frankenstein batman. terrorist batman fighting against russian!superman. they even gave me marvel crossovers, with captain america meeting batman. it was a glorious time. technically elseworlds is not considered canon, ran outside of canon as a way for writers to explore those wacky kind of worlds lost to the crisis, which is dumb because some of the plot lines are both hilarious and incredible. but the numbers started to get ridiculous again. most elseworlds are named after the year that the plot takes place in, so we get earth-1889, earth-1938 etc, but even more of them just seem to have random designations. i think by the time they reached earth-5050 they sort of knew that theyd fucked up again. we’ve had zero hour, we’ve got hypertime and kingdom come, and besides, its been a while since they had a good crossover, so by the time 2005 rolls around its time for crisis pt 2 (because dc love to use the word crisis for crossovers) or as it’s officially known infinite crisis. infinite crisis has an even more confusing plot involving a bunch of slightly nuts versions of characters escaping a pocket dimension, earths being created and then merged, and a rogue ai which batman made and then has to destroy because his own creation becomes too powerful etc etc. the only good thing to come out of it was earth-0, or bizarro world, because bizarro & batzarro are my babies. don’t worry though, this new set of earths won’t last long either, as in 2008 DC conclude their trilogy of crises with final crisis that featured one of the most important events in batman’s history – darkseid “killing” him. yes the quotations are important. i’ll leave you to infer what they mean.

so 3 crises later and everything is still just as messy as they’ve ever been and there’s 60 years worth of comic history being tangled about, and marvel had already established a very successful reboot in 2000, and anything marvel do, we can do better, so DC do their first, full and proper reboot. unlike retcons before it, which is where they retroactively try to fix what people already know and simplify timelines & earths, this is like someone shaking the etch-a-sketch and starting fresh. back in infinite crisis an arbitrary number was assigned to how many “earths” there could be – 52. and so in 2011, DC go hey that’s neat and create what becomes known as the new- or nu-52. heroes are given shiny new backstories, everything is streamlined and wonderful, sales rise, DC has a clean slate to build off again.

ha.

yeah that doesn’t happen.

this reboot, also known as flashpoint, due to it being spawned from another big ol’ crossover of the same name, shows barry allen trapped in an alternate universe where everything is not quite right – his mother is alive, superman is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have his powers. worst of all thomas wayne is batman. yeah, batman’s dad is batman. thanks DC, i hate it. reverse-flash has tried to change history and stop the jla from ever being formed – le gasp. barry goes to fix it, merges three universes together – earth-0, which isn’t a bizarro world but now the “main" earth, also called new earth or prime earth (DC), earth-13 (vertigo) and earth-50 (wildstorm), but also causes 10 years to be “lost” to these characters. there are now 52 brand spanking new earths, each sitting in their own universe as part of the multiverse. no one remembers anything except barry. even for a reboot and convergence of DC’s franchises, it’s messy as fuck. and it goes to shit very very quickly. people don’t really like n-52. DC have cancelled everything, certain characters such as cassandra cain-wayne are fucking ERASED from existence, no one likes the new costume designs, its an absolute shit show and the plots get very confusing very quickly.

so what do DC do?

they reboot again. sigh.

only 5 years after the mess of nu-52, they produce DC rebirth, a new relaunch of all their famous runs. brainiac does some magic and collects a bunch of worlds together and magically we’re all going to forget the last 5 years of comic hell. it is a reboot to retcon flashpoint as though that never happened. yes, DC are actually retconning their own reboots. talk about sweeping it under the carpet. technically “rebirth” only ran for a year as a promotional thing for the reboot, before joining with the larger, now-singular DC universe, however everyone still calls it rebirth because if we don’t give these things names it will get even more fucking confusing than it already is. rebirth also still has 52 universes making up the DC multiverse, just to make things even more simple and easy to understand (DC what is it with 52. why 52.) although lots of the earths in this multiverse have been re-designated – eg. pre-crisis earth-31 was home to an aged batman who fakes his death to go train a bunch of new vigilantes (the dark knight returns), and now 31 is an apocalyptic wasteland or some shite. a lot of these earths were re-designated during the flashpoint/nu-52 era, and even though rebirth was supposed to erase that, DC have decided never mind we’ll keep it. there’s also 7 mysteriously undesignated earths – ooh spooky, they definitely won’t feature in the next major crossover. also for a multiverse with 52 universes, they sure do have more than 52 : there’s the microverse, a bunch of universes collectively called “the sphere of the gods” where apokalips and like, literal heaven & hell exist, an innerverse???, dreamworld, limbo, DC are taking the piss they only said there were 52 earths but that means they can make as many other shitty dimensions and pocket-universes as they please apparently. don’t even get me started on the source wall. for the most part the writers just. don’t acknowledge this and stick to the main prime earth. for the most part. thanks for throwing thomas wayne as batman back into the mix, rebirth.

so that’s the last of it, right sim? eh, almost. it should have been the last of it, really. and then geoff johns couldn't keep his mouth shut and produced possibly the worst comic in recent history, if not ever, doomsday clock. now doomsday clock is a nightmare for an impossibly long list of reasons that i won’t get into here because this isn’t a rant about why i think doomsday clock is the worst thing to ever happen to dc (although that’s a catchy title i should use that some day) - no, the reason i bring up doomsday clock is because. oh my god even saying this makes me sad. doomsday clock proves that the pre-crisis universes still exist and are still out there. somewhere. canonically. sim why is that sad i thought you liked everything pre-52. it’s sad because it means at any point now, DC could bring them back, ruin their own legacy, make everything even more confusing than it already is. i love pre-52 stuff but you gotta leave it alone. currently doomsday clock has only established that these universes exist as a way to honour every era of superman, because DC didn’t want to completly erase some of the incredible work and storylines put into him as a character. fine, fair enough. but it does leave the possibility that they will try and return to them too. comic book writers love doing funky story lines like that. they think they need to write something that’s never been done before and instead of coming up with something actually unique, they just poke around in the multiverse WHICH IS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ahem.

hopefully this helped clarify some stuff for people, especially those folks who aren’t big comic fans/expereience dc through the DCEU or DCTV, when encountering rpers who say they base their characterisation off of, for example pre-n52/flashpoint comics, like myself.

oh, and thank you for coming to my ted sim talk.

[polygon-streams]

April 21st, 2019 - Pat’s Easter/Post 4/20 Donk Souls Stream

Pat played another stream of Donk Souls, back again with Magnum Jr. Stream went on for a little over 3 1/2 hours, so there’s quite a bit to note

Recaps a bit on yesterday's stream, telling the story of Magnum Jr.

Is interrupted by piss as he explains how he wants to find a loincloth for Magnum Jr, we are still on the fight for as naked of a Kong as possible

"Suns out guns out here in Lothric" - Pat, 2k19

Thanks some good subbers

Waluigi subbed up, thank you Waluigi

Vordt of the Boreal Valley is a fun name

"Hey.. hey, man.. hey.... alright bye, guess I'll see you later, man." - Pat @ a skeleton lookin’ enemy who walked away from him

Magnum Jr. has an arrow through his neck is he ok

4/20 was successful because he didn’t do weed due to it being an illegal criminal activity

"I don't want to perry.. what do i look like... Matthew?"

Has a very long stare at the chat ".................Matthew Perry"

Bonk bonk bonk souls

Gives a few more gifted sub shoutouts

Half-logan?

( Chunk of the stream is missing about right here. Only about 30 minutes, sorry about that )

He doesn’t drop pants

Beeline for vort

Memeshart is giving good gamer advice ( I’m sorry Pat, we all know Memeshart is the supreme gamer here )

“I got vorted” - Pat Gill, 2k19

Let’s fucking go, Pat can do it, we got this

Pat has fought this Vordt X times

“Juice time, baby, juice me” - also Pat, 2k19

He’s having more trouble than usual bc his other characters wore clothes

Vordt Souls

RP: do you guys know my dad?

Hums to konkey dong

X is your uber ride, am outside

God dammit, dogs. He’s killing the bone dogs.

One of this weird turtleback men is actually my friends that wants to hang out with me

Does that make me into beef jerky? I want my Kong to be fresh

More dog hate. He’s getting mauled by dogs. “Please lord of Dark Souls don’t let these dogs kill me”

“Why can’t I use ember? Is it because I already am bird shit?” nice joke.

Tropical freeze is such a good soundtrack. He’s done into the past and he may switch to it towards the end

He wants to bottle feed the kittens. He feels the best way to get a kitten to drink out of the bottle is by convincing them they really don’t want it to drink out of the bottle

Just realized he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on in this game after noticing for the first time a person is growing into a plant. Now he’s wondering why the people in this town are turning into trees. Angel b: they’ve commited treason greatest victory : they’re turning over a new leaf

He wants to make today and tomorrow pizza days. And he’s got a big thing of lactaid so he’s set to commit this mistake

He’s working on the environmental storytelling. That’s why he likes it, you have to put it together

If Ken Levine made this game he’d had made it clear by writing on a wall or something but not here

Dark Souls II: spooky stuff here in dark souls. That’s why the game is not called light and breezy souls

He got box stabbed, but he’s having a nice time souls

“This is my friend, Johnny, get it?” - We didn’t get it

“This is my friend, David”

“This is also my friend, Nick”

“Johnny cage.. because it’s a bunch of people in a cage” ( can confirm joke landed only for like two people )

This area gives Bloodborne vibes. Sorta medieval Bloodborne

“I’m not gonna use the whip”

jk he might try

Important update: Charles is sneezing

Camera angle is not in Pat’s favor up in this ruins and he hates it

He doesnt wanna fight anyone called Hodrick

We’re gonna avoid Hodrick and go fight a giant shooting arrows from a tower

22.32 Bijan is here

Memeshart is a consultant-- Pat is calling on memeshart like an Alexa

“Memeshart, play Despacito” Another great joke, Patrick

We’re testing Memeshart’s knowledge boundaries

Memeshart lore: They were picked up from a shipwreck by the current memeshart

Pat doesn’t remember this part being so annoying ( he also doesn’t remember he had clothes for the other characters )

Again with the Johnny/David/Nicholas Cage joke ( but now we all got it )

He’s avoiding killing non hostiles ( he definitely killed them in his main files, though )

Grim Acceptance: The emotion that bopping to The Entire Buck Bumble Theme for 3000 Bits elicits

He’s not particularly excited for the Sega Genesis mini. He didn’t have a Sega so he’s not particularly nostalgic

Bastard Sword: “I am kind of a bastard.”

22.48 Faith’s here

X i s one of hs favorite tracks in the Donkey Kong Country soundtrack

dumbassrights was gifted a sub. a good username, we can all agree

Unspoken chat rule: You aren’t allowed to say you got pizza without also saying the toppings

“He- he packed a bowl, but it was 420 yesterday!” - Pat

Very close to having the loincloth

“Love a big rat”

He doesn’t lock on a lot of enemies, especially big enemies, with enemies surrounding

Even more dog hate. Sorry, can’t relate.

Onion man is with us. he did not help with dog enemy.

“This guy sounds like Paul F. Tompkins doing Alan Thicke”

He’s good friends with the big archer giant. Friendship goals.

Bijan: “Can anyone explain the plot of Dark Souls?” Pat: “No.”

“It’s time to probably die”

Onion man is sleeping, chat decides to spam z for good slumbers

Lore check: this is the son of Magnum Kong , Magnum Kong Junior and he’s trying to find his dad, his papa, his daddy.

Went full “That’s rough, buddy” with “They really just tied a bunch of people to these burning wheels, huh….. rough..”

“I’m not good at archery, but the point is not about doing well, it’s about having fun.”

( sees enemies ) ( gasp ) two of them! ( dies )

Memeshart comes in again to say Pat missed a chest. Thank you for your service, Memeshart

Memeshart was right ( as always )

enemies: throw orbs pat: Is that allowed??

Still hasn’t seen the bone ball. Boneball watch 2k19

“Perfect for us whomst love to hate wear pants”

Spitballing this part because he hasn’t played it.

( picks up a reinforced club ) “I’ve joined the reinforced club. The club is me. I am the club.”

“goin’ on a quick loin cloth quest”

“I’m not sure what burning an undead bone shard does, but 420 was yesterday.” - I am not sure what this means but he isn’t wrong, I guess?

We’re gonna go burn an undead bone shard in a loincloth

“Loincloth is a bit more modest than previous ones but we got the legs exposed which is important” - good fashion advice from pat

“I do like the swing of the cloth it makes you think you might have a little peek if you get lucky”

“I’m touching a lady hold the fucking phone dude. Did I fail the touch?”

Young Man Charles was in the background for like 5 seconds and chat went absolutely nuts. As they should.

“I just wish we could get the ass out more in this game. I guess they cut down on the ass.”

Pat yeeted the sword master.

We’re gonna fuck up a tree. He’s the first or second big boss in Dark Souls 3

Content Warning: Nasty Boss. Pat’s gonna smack this tree’s groin area.

Faith is somehow not fond of this boss. I wonder why

Charlie showed up but Pat is busy busting these veggie’s nuts

Pat’s still adamant about not using the whip: “I’m not gonna whip this tree dude’s nards”

“Watchin’ Highlander on 4/20!”

Does not want to be hollow, would rather be ‘plump and svelte’

“I love when my elaborate attack doesn’t hit.” - A relatable gamer feel by Pat

Pat is having a sweaty one today

“We should clay-less…. We should mackle-less ( old man groaning noises )”

“I think the gentleman doth mackle too much.”

Oh, it’s drag JK Rowling o’clock! sipping_that_tea.jpg

According to Pat you psychologically cannot poop standing up

“Why did she say that? why did she do this?”

Chat says that babies poop standing up. Pat responds with, “Babies aren’t like us.”

“I’ve had enough poopoo peepee talk for today. Fuck JK Rowling.”

Chat is going full trans rights for seemingly no reason, it’s beautiful.

Was that little man always there? We may never know. Pat definitely does not remember the lil dude though, but seems to appreciate his presence nonetheless.

Here goes the french champagne

c h u n k y  r o l l i n ‘

admin duderave put that he spilled cottage cheese on himself in chat, “duderave… how much cottage cheese was spilled…”

admin duderave was laughed at for spilling cottage cheese on himself. it be like that sometimes.

Aerospoon back at it again gifting about 10 subs today. Nice goin’, buddy, doing God’s work on this fine Easter

He was talking about his next stream and got distracted by Charlie, as you do ( the next stream is tuesday at 8pm est )

He’s got the whole day off on Tuesday bc he worked pretty much all week due to traveling

After clicking around for a minute, decided to raid thatguyTagg, and said goodbye

End of stream!

[janeaustentextposts]

What is your favorite non-Austen period novel? Movie?

Okay I’m gonna do a rundown of all my favourites because making me pick one is just mean. (Also at one point in my notes on the following books and films I just wrote “Bagels” and I can’t for the life of me think what I might have meant or autocorrected that from. Maybe a shopping list started to take form. I don’t know.)

(If the film Miss Austen Regrets and book Longbourn by Jo Baker count as non-Austen then include them.)

Films:

Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India - 2001 (Sports! High stakes! Sticking it to the Colonial Man!)

Mozart’s Sister - 2010 (Beautiful music! Gorgeous androgyny! GIRLS CAST TO PLAY THEIR ACTUAL AGE AND NOT SOME 20-SOMETHING PRETENDING TO BE FOURTEEN!)

Possession - 2002 (I’ve tried the novel, and A.S. Byatt has some beautiful prose but her structures sometimes do my head in, so never finished it. Ignore Paltrow as best you can and enjoy lush Victorian Gothic mystery and the ending is one of the most poignant things I’ve ever been pleasantly surprised with on film, and it leaves you wondering about many, many things…)

Jodhaa Akbar - 2008 (You could put Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai in the worst commercial ever made and I would watch it. Costumes, scenery, and, as a friend once put it “I’m not sure how they did it, but they just had a sex scene without any sex.” Bravo.)

Water - 2005 (Deepa Mehta is such a fantastic filmmaker and I loved this whole trilogy but Water is my favourite.)

Elizabeth - 1998 & Elizabeth: The Golden Age - 2007 (The costumes! The caMERA ANGLES!!! The compli-fucking-cated mess that is Elizabeth I.)[Okay Tumblr won’t let me embed any more trailers, but those ones are easy to find, they’re out there.]Vatel - 2000 (Any foodie who is also a fan of The Sun King and his era will dig this one. A great score, baddie Tim Roth.)Alternatively, in the same era: A Little Chaos - 2015. Storyline is a little weak, but it’s so beautiful and the cast is great and the M U S I C. Kate Winslet. Alan Rickman. Helen McCrory. STANLEY TUCCI.)Also: they’re not films, but TV shows - honourable mentions to the Spanish series Gran Hotel. It’s like a good version of Downton Abbey, only sorta on crack and with a tonne more murder mysteries; and while I have some Issues with its so-called hero and some comparatively weirdo plot-points in S3, overall, it’s fantastic and I’m obssessed. Please don’t mix it up with the Italian re-make which looks horrible in every way. Like, main actors dressed in a poorly-sewn-table-cloth-bad.And shout-out to the new CBC/Netflix series Anne. I will defend this show to the DEATH, alright? They’ve gone bolder and fresher and have managed to involve period realism in a moving way while retaining the sunshine-and-pinafores element that so many people love about L.M. Montgomery’s work. There’s heaps of women with production credits, and I think it shows. Geraldine James is already my favourite Marilla after one episode, and I feel like R.H. Thompson (HEY JASPER DALE HEEEEY!) and Amybeth McNulty are likely going to become my favourite Matthew and Anne, too. People have complained about this series going off-book and in particular some have condemned it sight-unseen because the writers/directors are putting a feminist spin on it and OH GOD THEY SAID FEMINIST QUICK WE GOTTA SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE BECAUSE CHILDHOOD IS RUINED, but honestly it’s just perky and gorgeous and scrappy and nobody can tell me to my face that Kevin Sullivan didn’t go all the fucking way off-book from the very beginning so I am not gonna sit here and insist that the Megan Fallows Anne of Green Gables was perfection which could never be improved upon because that’s just a plain lie. It was nice and it has its place but it’s time for some new blood. (And NOT the telefilms they’ve also come out with recently with Martin Sheen, bless his heart, but they took a brunette child actor and dumped an atrociously stark box of red hair-dye on her before drawing on her freckles and then telling her to please play everything theatrically to the back of the house even though there is a camera ten inches from her face.) I am HERE FOR ANNE. RIDE OR DIE.

AND NOW, FOR BOOKS!

After that you might assume my L.M. Montgomery recommendation would be Anne of Green Gables and sure I won’t say DON’T read them, but for my money the Emily of New Moon trilogy is more my jam and I wish to God and Netflix in all my prayers that there might someday be a decent adaptation of them.I was really into Cassandra Clark’s Abbess of Meaux mystery series for a time, but then things went a bit pear-shaped in what I think was the fourth(?) book and everything was OOC and honestly I haven’t caught up on the later books after that and they seem to be self-published now but I am a sucker for nuns and mysteries so I’ll probably get back into it when I have time.

The Princess Priscilla’s Fortnight and The Solitary Summer by Elizabeth von Arnim. Vacation-reads! Beautiful prose, some wry wit, and fun hijinks. If you’ve ever wanted to run away and live in an isolated cottage in the wilderness for a little while, these are for you. [ETA: I recently got my hands on a copy of The Jasmine Farm so THANK YOU to one of you who recommended it I am loving it so far only I don’t see the appeal in Andrew so wtf Terry you can do better.]Edward Rutherfurd’s geographical history novels–Sarum is the classic to start with, but the others I’ve read are very good, too. (London, New York, and I’m now working my way through a first-edition of Russka.)Amy Levy. A M Y   L E V Y. Criminally under-recognized Jewish Victorian novelist and poet. Novellas Ruben Sachs and The Romance of a Shop. (RS a beautiful and bittersweet story about the conflicts between love, identity, and expectations, and some would say a response to George Eliot’s Daniel Deronda. TRoaS reading a bit like a less treacle-sweet variation on Little Women, where four sisters try to make their way in the world by setting up their own photography studio in late 19th century London.)The Making of a Marchioness by Frances Hodgkin Burnett. Colonialist racism appears in this one, so be warned. Still the book is a THOUSAND times better than the utterly dreadful adaptation known as The Making of a Lady. Jane is better, Emily is better, Walderhurst is better, pretty much EVERYONE IS BETTER. The pacing is better. The plotting and suspense make actual sense.

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy. A classic, and the grand-daddy of every secret-identity superhero.

The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy. Like, it makes me MAD how good these books are.

And last but not least, a non-fiction selection in Vere Hodgson’s WWII diaries: Few Eggs and No Oranges. Nothing else has ever brought the experience of living (or trying to) under the shadow of the bombs and the threat of invasion quite like these diaries. Fascinating details, engagingly written, and at times a stark reminder that the Allied victory we take for granted in our history could by no means be counted on by the millions who dwelt in daily uncertainty.

[sage-nebula]

Ash and Alan for the headcanons meme please!

Ash’s got really long, so could you send me Alan’s in a second one? I want to make sure I give both boys the attention they deserve. Thanks!

A.) What I think realistically:

Though it may not seem like it due to all the time he spends traveling and how little time he spends at home, Ash is actually very attached to and protective of his mother, and (though he tends to keep this buried down and doesn’t let it show) resentful of his father for walking out on them. Ash and his mother have never had very much money; they have a nice, small house in Pallet Town, but luxuries were definitely scarce and despite Delia doing her best with her restaurant*, she’s still a single parent with a single income who became a single parent when she was eighteen years old. It’s been hard on her, despite how upbeat she stays in order to make sure her son doesn’t worry, and as dense as he might seem at times, Ash did pick up on this over the years. He could tell when his mom was stressed, could tell when she was tired because she had to work a full shift plus take care of him, and while Delia always assured him that his dad was a wonderful trainer who would be so proud of him and who loved him so much, Ash couldn’t help but feel like if his dad really loved him---or either of them, really---then he would have been there, rather than off . . . wherever he is, in the world. (Of course, then Ash feels rather defiantly that they don’t need his dad anyway, that they’re doing just fine without him and he can shove off and stay wherever he is, but all the same.)

This has, in a way, informed the way he reacts to other deadbeat parents in the series. When he meets Brock’s father---or rather, when he realizes that Flint is Brock’s father---he says rather bluntly, “You mean you’re the good-for-nothing father who left home and never came back?!” (He was also clearly affected by Flint’s story of Brock’s parental abandonment, saying, “I better not listen to anymore sad stuff, or the next time I face Brock I might not have the heart to beat him” and openly questioned why Flint helped him instead of his own son.) Likewise, it takes him three whole episodes (and being directly told) that Sabrina’s father is, well, her father, as if the idea of an absent father coming back isn’t one that easily occurs to him (though he does accept Sabrina’s father coming back with happiness, perhaps because he knows that Sabrina’s father didn’t exit her life willingly). Ash isn’t against the idea of absent parents coming back, and seems to step back and let the kid in question handle the situation, but I think that if he was confronted by his own father, his feelings would be a lot more conflicting, oscillating between a desire to get to know his father, as well as a lot of anger at the man for walking out on him and his mother and leaving them to fend for themselves.

Nonetheless, back to the original point---because Delia is the one who always raised him, always took care of him, always loved him and did her best by him no matter what, Ash is quite attached to her, and rather protective of her as well. He’s a total and complete momma’s boy, and I feel that few things illustrate this as clearly as how much he went goddamn berserk when Entei kidnapped her in Spell of the Unown. As far as Ash is concerned, the Ketchum family is just the two of them (and their pokémon) and that’s fine. They’re great the way they are. And no one better mess with his mom under threat of serious harm. Of that, he swears.

(*It was mentioned in Shuudo’s novelizations, I believe, that Delia owns and operates a restaurant in Pallet Town. We never once see this in the anime itself, but I like to imagine that it’s there nonetheless, since otherwise I’m not sure where she gets any money from, given that I highly doubt Ash’s father sends child support checks.)

B.) What I think is fucking hilarious:

He sleep talks! This is actually canon, to a degree; we see him sleep talking in the very first episode, as he’s dreaming over which starter pokémon he’s going to pick. However, it delves into headcanon territory when you consider that Ash can have entire nonsensical conversations while completely asleep. That is, if you overhear him sleep talking, you can ask him a question to prod him along that sleepy train of thought and he will answer. Sometimes this means that he gives a spiel on how all the pokémon that are thought to come from space, such as clefairy, actually came up from the ocean, because the ocean has a portal to space at the very bottom that no one has ever seen because people can’t swim down that far. Or maybe he questions on the nature of pokémon like cherrim, who are clearly pokémon, but who are also fruit. Where does the fruit end and the pokémon begin? asks actually asleep Ash Ketchum. These are Very Serious™ conversations that he, while asleep, takes Very Very Seriously™, but when he wakes up in the morning he’ll have absolutely no recollection that they ever happened.

(One time Iris and Cilan recorded one such conversation just to have proof it happened. That time it was about how ditto could be anywhere at any time and you’d never know because they use Transform, and how they were all probably surrounded by ditto at all times, and probably they were even ditto and didn’t know because somehow the ditto had impersonated them so well that even they, themselves, were fooled. Listening to this at breakfast the next morning, Ash didn’t even know how to begin explaining what he was rambling on about in his sleep.)

C.) What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

It’s not really a conscious thought, but in the back of his mind Ash rather assumes that, at some point or another, pretty much everyone will end up leaving him.

His dad was never present in his life, so that’s one thing---but although they were friends in childhood, Gary inexplicably turned on him one day and became his bully instead. Butterfree left to go start a family. He thought Pikachu wanted to leave, but thankfully that wasn’t the case (and never will be). Brock left to go stay with Professor Ivy for a while, and only came back when something happened that he refused to tell Ash about, but as soon as he came back, Tracey decided to leave, staying with Professor Oak instead. Lapras returned to her family, Pidgeot stayed in the woods outside Pallet Town, Charizard decided to stay in the Charicific Valley, only visiting occasionally . . . and the real kicker came when it was time for Misty to leave, going back home to Cerulean and leaving him to continue on by himself.

Ash knows that, in many of these cases, the circumstances are beyond his friends’ control. And it’s not like he never sees them again; they call, they write letters, they visit sometimes, they keep in touch. But that doesn’t make the goodbyes any harder, nor does it stop it from wedging a little note in the back of his mind whenever he meets a new traveling companion that this is only temporary, sooner or later they’re going to leave, better start preparing now for when that happens later. When Misty and Brock left him at the end of the OS, he broke down crying before bolting back to Pallet. After that, the successive goodbyes became easier, because although he bonds and is close with all of his new friends, there’s always a sort of subconscious bit of distance there where he knows that this is not forever, so he better not get attached like it is. (It’s also why, especially with his pokémon, he often makes the choice to leave them before they can say they’re leaving him. We see this with Pikachu, and Charizard, too. At least this way he can tell himself that it’s not really that they’re leaving him; he’s leaving them, for their own good. They’ll be happier this way. And it’s in his control, it’s in his power, he’s not being abandoned, he’s not, he’s making this choice, all on his own.) It gets to the point where, at the end of his Kalos journey, he announces he’s going back to Pallet Town before anyone else has shared their plans with him (at least, I’m pretty sure this was before Serena had decided what it was she was going to do and announced her intentions on going to Hoenn). Aside from just being rather Done™ with Kalos after everything that entire journey consisted of (not just the Flare arc danger, but all the pressure that came with being idolized all the time, et cetera), he decided to say goodbye on his own and go home since he could tell that was coming anyway. He made the decision before the others could, because again: he’s choosing to leave this way, not the other way around.

And again: Ash still loves all of his friends and pokémon, still cares for them all deeply, there’s no doubt about that. And he doesn’t consciously think about the fact that they’ll leave, but . . . that’s still there, in the back of his mind, and as such it’s something he starts preparing himself for as his journey goes on and he magnetically attracts new companions after stepping foot in a new region. Yeah, he attracts friends like static cling, but static wears off after awhile, and so does their time together. By this point, Ash has just rather resigned himself to it, even if only subconsciously.

D.) What would never work in canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

So I have two of these. One is one that I’m sure most people would agree with, and the other is one that I’m sure most people would feel really “?!?!” about.

The one that I feel most people would agree with is that I like to imagine a timeline of Ash aging, simply because although I know the reason why he stays ten, and though I know that the anime exists in a sort of time bubble where time passes but no one ages, it’s still hard for me to reconcile the fact that, from Ash’s perspective, he actually hasn’t been on this journey for years, despite everything that he has done over the course of all the sagas. The reboot of his personality in SM aside, I really feel as if he was characterized like he was 13/14 in XY(&Z), with 13 erring on the young side. He certainly acted more mature than Manon, who we know is ten because she had just started on her journey. (And note: I do not mean this as a dig at Manon, I merely mean that she acted her age whereas Ash did not act his supposed age.) And while Serena had also just started out, we know that she had no interest in journeying until she saw Ash on TV, so it would be believable that perhaps she just started late and was also about 13/14 (hence also why she’s a lot more open about her crush than previous girls---she has a few added years of extra maturity). So the fact that Serena is also more mature than Manon doesn’t discount the idea that Ash didn’t act like he was ten, but instead acted like he was older.

So the way that I look at it is like this: According to the information given in Shuudo’s novelizations, Ash would have turned eleven about a month after setting off from Pallet Town. (His birthday is May 22nd, and Shuudo’s novelizations said that kids leave on their journeys the first April after they turn ten, no doubt based on the Japanese school system.) The line about it being a year since they were last in Viridian City in “Battle of the Badge” is dub-only, but if we take it for the sake of having some sort of measurable timeline, then we can say that by the time the Kanto League takes place, Ash is newly twelve. After that, given how short the Orange Islands season is, maybe it only takes about two or three months (there was a lot of Surfing, okay), so Ash is still twelve by the time he goes to Johto.

Now, this is where things get a bit more difficult, because each of the following sagas was really, really long (far longer than either Kanto or Orange), and even if we do “one year per journey,” Ash would end up being seventeen by the time Kalos rolls around, and no matter how mature he is in XY(&Z), there’s no way that I can buy that he is seventeen. None. (And not even because of maturity, but because . . . look at him. He should be far closer to Alan’s height if he was an older teenager. Hell, he’d be older than Alan if he was seventeen, so like . . . thirteen/fourteen is believable. Seventeen is not.) So I’m really not sure how to make that work, for him to still only be, say, fourteen by the time he reaches Kalos despite how long the Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova sagas are, but at least making him fourteen by Kalos is more believable than ten, so I think that finagling can be forgiven.

As for the other, “?!?!” one . . . okay, hear me out. What if---and stay with me, guys, bear with me on this---what if . . . Ritchie was his half-brother somehow.

I mean, think about it! They look startlingly alike! They act similar, though Ritchie is more polite and far more of a gentleman. (Would be Serena’s actual dream guy tbh. Plot twist, Ash didn’t remember the summer camp because it was Ritchie she met there and not him.) Ash’s dad is not in the picture, so it’s not out of the question that he could have had another son with a different woman. The only issue is that they’re close in age, but you never know: maybe he walked out on Delia because he had an affair with someone else. It’s possible!!

Anyway, that’s just a crack theory and not a real headcanon, but it’s one I sometimes like to imagine nonetheless. :P

[cynthiajayusa]

Keira Knightley Werks the Queer Narrative, Talks ‘Colette’

You know what’s to love, actually? How Keira Knightley has now played enough feminist roles to know her character, Juliet, in the bubbly holiday classic Love Actually doesn’t exactly fall into that category. In the Christmas rom-com, Juliet is the object of not one but two men’s desire, and copious close-up shots insist on telling us what we’ve already known: Keira Knightley is breathtakingly beautiful.

The 33-year-old actress was just 17 when 2003’s Love Actually was filmed. Since then, Knightley’s genre-spanning roles throughout her 23-year career have often positioned her as a heroine in girl-power period films, women characterized by their liberated state of mind (2008’s The Duchess) and patriarchal-defying genius (2014’s The Imitation Game, as Alan Turing’s mathematician-fiancée Joan Clarke). Real-life bisexual novelist Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette, who ghost wrote for author-husband Henry Gauthier-Villars (known as “Willy” and played by Dominic West) until she reclaimed her autonomy and byline, is right within Knightley’s wheelhouse of women smearing their male oppressors. Take Colette, whose 1944 book Gigi was adapted into a movie musical that won nine Oscars in 1959, including best picture.

Written and directed by out director and fellow Englander Wash Westmoreland (Still Alice), Colette is a tribute to his late husband and collaborator, Richard Glatzer, who died from the progressive neurodegenerative disease ALS. In the hospital before he passed away in 2015, Glatzer, who could not speak, typed “C-O-L-E-T-T-E” to Westmoreland on an iPad to communicate that his – but in many ways, their – next project should be “Colette.”

Recently, Knightley called to talk about her special connection to gay directors such as Westmoreland (and James Kent, who directs her in the forthcoming The Aftermath), her enthusiastic response to a Bend It Like Beckham sequel where best friends Jules and Jesse are lesbian lovers, and her desperate plea to drag queens.

 You’re so good in this I wouldn’t be mad if all you do is play period bisexuals for the rest of your career. 

Well, thank you very much! I’ll quote you on that.

Is there a special relationship between gay directors and female actors such as yourself that helps in telling a story like this one? 

That’s an interesting question! Yes, I think so. I think that there’s that quality of having to fight for your space and fight for your right to be who you feel you are and fight for your voice. So yes, I think there’s a similarity in those two aspects, and one I think, probably, Wash identified with in the story of Colette.

When it comes to the male gaze, is there a difference in having a gay director direct a sex scene? 

Yes and no. He did actually turn around when I think it was me and Eleanor (Tomlinson, who portrays bisexual American heiress Georgie Raoul‑Duval) and he was like, “You know, it’s really great ’cause there’s no male gaze here,” and I’m like, “Wash, there are only men in this room!” (Laughs) He’s like, “Yes, no – you know what I mean!” (Laughs) So yes, because sex is sort of taken out of it in a way, because obviously he doesn’t find me attractive, and that’s great (laughs). But I still think male sexuality in all of its forms is probably slightly different from female sexuality, so there are probably still subtle differences. But it is very nice to know that when I took my clothes off he didn’t get off on it at all.

Are there any other films you’ve worked on where you felt having a gay director helped in doing the story justice? 

Yes. I worked with… oh my god… my brain’s just literally gone blank and I’ve forgotten every single other person’s name that I’ve ever worked with before. Wait, what the f*ck? He directed Aftermath. I can see his face. Oh my god, this is really annoying because literally I just spent eight weeks with him and he’s the loveliest man in the entire world.

But I don’t know whether it’s sexuality that does it or just – I think it’s the individual. Possibly gay men, because of their fight for their identity and to be accepted and accepting of themselves, understand that there’s a level of emotional intelligence, which often – not always – a heterosexual man will simply try to shut down. So I think that helps if you’re dealing with emotions, which you are when you’re making a film. It helps to have an emotional vocabulary and intelligence and openness. And look, I’m a heterosexual woman, so maybe I’m completely talking out of turn, but I do feel, because there is still a process of acceptance that gay men go through, that emotionally they can be very, very intelligent and open and accepting.

Did Colette’s approach to sexuality speak to you in any profound or personal way? 

Yes, because she was entirely natural to herself and she acted without shame. What a wonderful, positive way of looking at your sexuality and the people that you fall in love with. I really respected that about her. I loved that she was herself and that any rule that didn’t fit she just broke and made the life that she wanted to live. I think that’s a wonderful, empowering story, both from a feminist point of view and from the point of view of her sexuality.

Speaking of feminism, I have a feeling Colette wouldn’t love your character in Love Actually. 

Probably not. (Laughs)

The men in that movie seem to have all the power, while your character is silent, cute; lots of close-ups of you looking pretty. How do you reflect on that role and what it says about women? 

I hadn’t really until you just said that! But yes, I can see that. I was 17 when I played that one and I was so excited about just getting a role in a Richard Curtis film. You know, I think there were some pretty good strong women in that. Not that one, but the Martine McCutcheon character and the Emma Thompson character, which is so heartbreaking. I don’t know. I’d have to look at it again with that frame of my mind. I do, however, know Scarlett Curtis, who is Richard Curtis’ daughter and a radical-feminist activist, so he’s done something right there.

As for Emma Thompson, she sobs to Joni Mitchell. And her story doesn’t have the happiest or even most empowered of endings. 

But strong people are allowed to break down; it doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions. You just have to then pick yourself up and stand up again. See, the problem is, I haven’t actually seen it since it came out, which was over 10 years ago, so actually I don’t remember quite enough to be able to argue either way. You really, really know it, so I feel like I’m just gonna have to go with whatever you say. (Laughs)

You played gay computer scientist Alan Turing’s fiancée in Imitation Game. Have you ever fallen in love with a gay man before? 

No, luckily. I feel very fortunate in that, ’cause that would be tricky!

Rumor has it that Bend It Like Beckham was originally written as a lesbian love story? 

I never read that version of the script! I mean, not as far as I know. But you might have information that I don’t have. No, the only version of the script that I ever read was the one that we shot, so it was as it was.

A lot of people in the LGBTQ community wanted Jess and Jules to be a couple in the end. 

Fuck yeah! That would’ve been amazing. I think they should’ve been too. I think that would’ve been great. We need a sequel.

You’ve worn some fabulous period wigs over the years – is that your real hair in Colette? 

No, I don’t think so. I think we had wigs, always through. Because there were so many different styles, and short, long. I think when it’s long we used some of my hair with some extensions, and then when it was short, it was a wig.

Do you realize how many drag queens are gonna be jealous of the one you wear in your role as the Sugar Plum Fairy in your forthcoming film The Nutcracker and the Four Realms? 

Oh, dude, yes. Hell yes. You know, we actually designed it with them in mind. I was so pleased. It was my first time where I could actually be like a drag queen, and I was so excited. We were all talking about it at the time; we were like, “Come on, this is the most amazing drag outfit,” and honestly, I was really excited because normally you have to be so subtle in films and I got these really long, fake eyelashes – I can’t remember whether we used them – but with bits of glitter over them, and we were all like, “This is perfect drag queen attire.” It was so amazing, and I think there are some amazing drag queens out there who are gonna wear it even better than I did. I hope that this film inspires some amazing costumes.

You sound like you could be an avid watcher of RuPaul’s Drag Race. 

Everybody’s a fan! Yeah, there’s a bit of Drag Race watching. And then there’s a great drag night in East London, which I used to go to when I could go out before I had a child, which was always fun. So can I just put that out there: Please, please let there be a drag queen somewhere who will be in a Sugar Plum Fairy outfit.

As a teenager, you were told your kiss with a gay female friend you went to prom with wasn’t appropriate. What did that experience teach you about LGBTQ discrimination, and how did it influence you as an ally for the community? 

I thought it was bullshit at the time. Bullshit… bullshit! Our picture was not put up (on the event’s photo wall) because it was deemed not appropriate. I’m not sure it was that particular experience that influenced me; I just remember thinking that was stupid and I think I’ve thought that – always along the line – any discrimination against people because of their sexuality has been utterly ridiculous. It was the way I was brought up, and so I’ve never questioned gay rights. So yes, that was one of them; but no, I don’t think that was my sort of awakening. I’ve always had family with many gay friends, and people in the LGBTQ community have always been around me all my life and have been wonderful friends.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/04/keira-knightley-werks-the-queer-narrative-talks-colette/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/10/keira-knightley-werks-queer-narrative.html

[demitgibbs]

Keira Knightley Werks the Queer Narrative, Talks ‘Colette’

You know what’s to love, actually? How Keira Knightley has now played enough feminist roles to know her character, Juliet, in the bubbly holiday classic Love Actually doesn’t exactly fall into that category. In the Christmas rom-com, Juliet is the object of not one but two men’s desire, and copious close-up shots insist on telling us what we’ve already known: Keira Knightley is breathtakingly beautiful.

The 33-year-old actress was just 17 when 2003’s Love Actually was filmed. Since then, Knightley’s genre-spanning roles throughout her 23-year career have often positioned her as a heroine in girl-power period films, women characterized by their liberated state of mind (2008’s The Duchess) and patriarchal-defying genius (2014’s The Imitation Game, as Alan Turing’s mathematician-fiancée Joan Clarke). Real-life bisexual novelist Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette, who ghost wrote for author-husband Henry Gauthier-Villars (known as “Willy” and played by Dominic West) until she reclaimed her autonomy and byline, is right within Knightley’s wheelhouse of women smearing their male oppressors. Take Colette, whose 1944 book Gigi was adapted into a movie musical that won nine Oscars in 1959, including best picture.

Written and directed by out director and fellow Englander Wash Westmoreland (Still Alice), Colette is a tribute to his late husband and collaborator, Richard Glatzer, who died from the progressive neurodegenerative disease ALS. In the hospital before he passed away in 2015, Glatzer, who could not speak, typed “C-O-L-E-T-T-E” to Westmoreland on an iPad to communicate that his – but in many ways, their – next project should be “Colette.”

Recently, Knightley called to talk about her special connection to gay directors such as Westmoreland (and James Kent, who directs her in the forthcoming The Aftermath), her enthusiastic response to a Bend It Like Beckham sequel where best friends Jules and Jesse are lesbian lovers, and her desperate plea to drag queens.

  You’re so good in this I wouldn’t be mad if all you do is play period bisexuals for the rest of your career.

Well, thank you very much! I’ll quote you on that.

Is there a special relationship between gay directors and female actors such as yourself that helps in telling a story like this one?

That’s an interesting question! Yes, I think so. I think that there’s that quality of having to fight for your space and fight for your right to be who you feel you are and fight for your voice. So yes, I think there’s a similarity in those two aspects, and one I think, probably, Wash identified with in the story of Colette.

When it comes to the male gaze, is there a difference in having a gay director direct a sex scene?

Yes and no. He did actually turn around when I think it was me and Eleanor (Tomlinson, who portrays bisexual American heiress Georgie Raoul‑Duval) and he was like, “You know, it’s really great ’cause there’s no male gaze here,” and I’m like, “Wash, there are only men in this room!” (Laughs) He’s like, “Yes, no – you know what I mean!” (Laughs) So yes, because sex is sort of taken out of it in a way, because obviously he doesn’t find me attractive, and that’s great (laughs). But I still think male sexuality in all of its forms is probably slightly different from female sexuality, so there are probably still subtle differences. But it is very nice to know that when I took my clothes off he didn’t get off on it at all.

Are there any other films you’ve worked on where you felt having a gay director helped in doing the story justice?

Yes. I worked with… oh my god… my brain’s just literally gone blank and I’ve forgotten every single other person’s name that I’ve ever worked with before. Wait, what the f*ck? He directed Aftermath. I can see his face. Oh my god, this is really annoying because literally I just spent eight weeks with him and he’s the loveliest man in the entire world.

But I don’t know whether it’s sexuality that does it or just – I think it’s the individual. Possibly gay men, because of their fight for their identity and to be accepted and accepting of themselves, understand that there’s a level of emotional intelligence, which often – not always – a heterosexual man will simply try to shut down. So I think that helps if you’re dealing with emotions, which you are when you’re making a film. It helps to have an emotional vocabulary and intelligence and openness. And look, I’m a heterosexual woman, so maybe I’m completely talking out of turn, but I do feel, because there is still a process of acceptance that gay men go through, that emotionally they can be very, very intelligent and open and accepting.

Did Colette’s approach to sexuality speak to you in any profound or personal way?

Yes, because she was entirely natural to herself and she acted without shame. What a wonderful, positive way of looking at your sexuality and the people that you fall in love with. I really respected that about her. I loved that she was herself and that any rule that didn’t fit she just broke and made the life that she wanted to live. I think that’s a wonderful, empowering story, both from a feminist point of view and from the point of view of her sexuality.

Speaking of feminism, I have a feeling Colette wouldn’t love your character in Love Actually.

Probably not. (Laughs)

The men in that movie seem to have all the power, while your character is silent, cute; lots of close-ups of you looking pretty. How do you reflect on that role and what it says about women?

I hadn’t really until you just said that! But yes, I can see that. I was 17 when I played that one and I was so excited about just getting a role in a Richard Curtis film. You know, I think there were some pretty good strong women in that. Not that one, but the Martine McCutcheon character and the Emma Thompson character, which is so heartbreaking. I don’t know. I’d have to look at it again with that frame of my mind. I do, however, know Scarlett Curtis, who is Richard Curtis’ daughter and a radical-feminist activist, so he’s done something right there.

As for Emma Thompson, she sobs to Joni Mitchell. And her story doesn’t have the happiest or even most empowered of endings.

But strong people are allowed to break down; it doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions. You just have to then pick yourself up and stand up again. See, the problem is, I haven’t actually seen it since it came out, which was over 10 years ago, so actually I don’t remember quite enough to be able to argue either way. You really, really know it, so I feel like I’m just gonna have to go with whatever you say. (Laughs)

You played gay computer scientist Alan Turing’s fiancée in Imitation Game. Have you ever fallen in love with a gay man before?

No, luckily. I feel very fortunate in that, ’cause that would be tricky!

Rumor has it that Bend It Like Beckham was originally written as a lesbian love story?

I never read that version of the script! I mean, not as far as I know. But you might have information that I don’t have. No, the only version of the script that I ever read was the one that we shot, so it was as it was.

A lot of people in the LGBTQ community wanted Jess and Jules to be a couple in the end.

Fuck yeah! That would’ve been amazing. I think they should’ve been too. I think that would’ve been great. We need a sequel.

You’ve worn some fabulous period wigs over the years – is that your real hair in Colette?

No, I don’t think so. I think we had wigs, always through. Because there were so many different styles, and short, long. I think when it’s long we used some of my hair with some extensions, and then when it was short, it was a wig.

Do you realize how many drag queens are gonna be jealous of the one you wear in your role as the Sugar Plum Fairy in your forthcoming film The Nutcracker and the Four Realms?

Oh, dude, yes. Hell yes. You know, we actually designed it with them in mind. I was so pleased. It was my first time where I could actually be like a drag queen, and I was so excited. We were all talking about it at the time; we were like, “Come on, this is the most amazing drag outfit,” and honestly, I was really excited because normally you have to be so subtle in films and I got these really long, fake eyelashes – I can’t remember whether we used them – but with bits of glitter over them, and we were all like, “This is perfect drag queen attire.” It was so amazing, and I think there are some amazing drag queens out there who are gonna wear it even better than I did. I hope that this film inspires some amazing costumes.

You sound like you could be an avid watcher of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Everybody’s a fan! Yeah, there’s a bit of Drag Race watching. And then there’s a great drag night in East London, which I used to go to when I could go out before I had a child, which was always fun. So can I just put that out there: Please, please let there be a drag queen somewhere who will be in a Sugar Plum Fairy outfit.

As a teenager, you were told your kiss with a gay female friend you went to prom with wasn’t appropriate. What did that experience teach you about LGBTQ discrimination, and how did it influence you as an ally for the community?

I thought it was bullshit at the time. Bullshit… bullshit! Our picture was not put up (on the event’s photo wall) because it was deemed not appropriate. I’m not sure it was that particular experience that influenced me; I just remember thinking that was stupid and I think I’ve thought that – always along the line – any discrimination against people because of their sexuality has been utterly ridiculous. It was the way I was brought up, and so I’ve never questioned gay rights. So yes, that was one of them; but no, I don’t think that was my sort of awakening. I’ve always had family with many gay friends, and people in the LGBTQ community have always been around me all my life and have been wonderful friends.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/04/keira-knightley-werks-the-queer-narrative-talks-colette/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/178729119780

[hotspotsmagazine]

Keira Knightley Werks the Queer Narrative, Talks ‘Colette’

You know what’s to love, actually? How Keira Knightley has now played enough feminist roles to know her character, Juliet, in the bubbly holiday classic Love Actually doesn’t exactly fall into that category. In the Christmas rom-com, Juliet is the object of not one but two men’s desire, and copious close-up shots insist on telling us what we’ve already known: Keira Knightley is breathtakingly beautiful.

The 33-year-old actress was just 17 when 2003’s Love Actually was filmed. Since then, Knightley’s genre-spanning roles throughout her 23-year career have often positioned her as a heroine in girl-power period films, women characterized by their liberated state of mind (2008’s The Duchess) and patriarchal-defying genius (2014’s The Imitation Game, as Alan Turing’s mathematician-fiancée Joan Clarke). Real-life bisexual novelist Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette, who ghost wrote for author-husband Henry Gauthier-Villars (known as “Willy” and played by Dominic West) until she reclaimed her autonomy and byline, is right within Knightley’s wheelhouse of women smearing their male oppressors. Take Colette, whose 1944 book Gigi was adapted into a movie musical that won nine Oscars in 1959, including best picture.

Written and directed by out director and fellow Englander Wash Westmoreland (Still Alice), Colette is a tribute to his late husband and collaborator, Richard Glatzer, who died from the progressive neurodegenerative disease ALS. In the hospital before he passed away in 2015, Glatzer, who could not speak, typed “C-O-L-E-T-T-E” to Westmoreland on an iPad to communicate that his – but in many ways, their – next project should be “Colette.”

Recently, Knightley called to talk about her special connection to gay directors such as Westmoreland (and James Kent, who directs her in the forthcoming The Aftermath), her enthusiastic response to a Bend It Like Beckham sequel where best friends Jules and Jesse are lesbian lovers, and her desperate plea to drag queens.

  You’re so good in this I wouldn’t be mad if all you do is play period bisexuals for the rest of your career. 

Well, thank you very much! I’ll quote you on that.

Is there a special relationship between gay directors and female actors such as yourself that helps in telling a story like this one? 

That’s an interesting question! Yes, I think so. I think that there’s that quality of having to fight for your space and fight for your right to be who you feel you are and fight for your voice. So yes, I think there’s a similarity in those two aspects, and one I think, probably, Wash identified with in the story of Colette.

When it comes to the male gaze, is there a difference in having a gay director direct a sex scene? 

Yes and no. He did actually turn around when I think it was me and Eleanor (Tomlinson, who portrays bisexual American heiress Georgie Raoul‑Duval) and he was like, “You know, it’s really great ’cause there’s no male gaze here,” and I’m like, “Wash, there are only men in this room!” (Laughs) He’s like, “Yes, no – you know what I mean!” (Laughs) So yes, because sex is sort of taken out of it in a way, because obviously he doesn’t find me attractive, and that’s great (laughs). But I still think male sexuality in all of its forms is probably slightly different from female sexuality, so there are probably still subtle differences. But it is very nice to know that when I took my clothes off he didn’t get off on it at all.

Are there any other films you’ve worked on where you felt having a gay director helped in doing the story justice? 

Yes. I worked with… oh my god… my brain’s just literally gone blank and I’ve forgotten every single other person’s name that I’ve ever worked with before. Wait, what the f*ck? He directed Aftermath. I can see his face. Oh my god, this is really annoying because literally I just spent eight weeks with him and he’s the loveliest man in the entire world.

But I don’t know whether it’s sexuality that does it or just – I think it’s the individual. Possibly gay men, because of their fight for their identity and to be accepted and accepting of themselves, understand that there’s a level of emotional intelligence, which often – not always – a heterosexual man will simply try to shut down. So I think that helps if you’re dealing with emotions, which you are when you’re making a film. It helps to have an emotional vocabulary and intelligence and openness. And look, I’m a heterosexual woman, so maybe I’m completely talking out of turn, but I do feel, because there is still a process of acceptance that gay men go through, that emotionally they can be very, very intelligent and open and accepting.

Did Colette’s approach to sexuality speak to you in any profound or personal way? 

Yes, because she was entirely natural to herself and she acted without shame. What a wonderful, positive way of looking at your sexuality and the people that you fall in love with. I really respected that about her. I loved that she was herself and that any rule that didn’t fit she just broke and made the life that she wanted to live. I think that’s a wonderful, empowering story, both from a feminist point of view and from the point of view of her sexuality.

Speaking of feminism, I have a feeling Colette wouldn’t love your character in Love Actually. 

Probably not. (Laughs)

The men in that movie seem to have all the power, while your character is silent, cute; lots of close-ups of you looking pretty. How do you reflect on that role and what it says about women? 

I hadn’t really until you just said that! But yes, I can see that. I was 17 when I played that one and I was so excited about just getting a role in a Richard Curtis film. You know, I think there were some pretty good strong women in that. Not that one, but the Martine McCutcheon character and the Emma Thompson character, which is so heartbreaking. I don’t know. I’d have to look at it again with that frame of my mind. I do, however, know Scarlett Curtis, who is Richard Curtis’ daughter and a radical-feminist activist, so he’s done something right there.

As for Emma Thompson, she sobs to Joni Mitchell. And her story doesn’t have the happiest or even most empowered of endings. 

But strong people are allowed to break down; it doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions. You just have to then pick yourself up and stand up again. See, the problem is, I haven’t actually seen it since it came out, which was over 10 years ago, so actually I don’t remember quite enough to be able to argue either way. You really, really know it, so I feel like I’m just gonna have to go with whatever you say. (Laughs)

You played gay computer scientist Alan Turing’s fiancée in Imitation Game. Have you ever fallen in love with a gay man before? 

No, luckily. I feel very fortunate in that, ’cause that would be tricky!

Rumor has it that Bend It Like Beckham was originally written as a lesbian love story? 

I never read that version of the script! I mean, not as far as I know. But you might have information that I don’t have. No, the only version of the script that I ever read was the one that we shot, so it was as it was.

A lot of people in the LGBTQ community wanted Jess and Jules to be a couple in the end. 

Fuck yeah! That would’ve been amazing. I think they should’ve been too. I think that would’ve been great. We need a sequel.

You’ve worn some fabulous period wigs over the years – is that your real hair in Colette? 

No, I don’t think so. I think we had wigs, always through. Because there were so many different styles, and short, long. I think when it’s long we used some of my hair with some extensions, and then when it was short, it was a wig.

Do you realize how many drag queens are gonna be jealous of the one you wear in your role as the Sugar Plum Fairy in your forthcoming film The Nutcracker and the Four Realms? 

Oh, dude, yes. Hell yes. You know, we actually designed it with them in mind. I was so pleased. It was my first time where I could actually be like a drag queen, and I was so excited. We were all talking about it at the time; we were like, “Come on, this is the most amazing drag outfit,” and honestly, I was really excited because normally you have to be so subtle in films and I got these really long, fake eyelashes – I can’t remember whether we used them – but with bits of glitter over them, and we were all like, “This is perfect drag queen attire.” It was so amazing, and I think there are some amazing drag queens out there who are gonna wear it even better than I did. I hope that this film inspires some amazing costumes.

You sound like you could be an avid watcher of RuPaul’s Drag Race. 

Everybody’s a fan! Yeah, there’s a bit of Drag Race watching. And then there’s a great drag night in East London, which I used to go to when I could go out before I had a child, which was always fun. So can I just put that out there: Please, please let there be a drag queen somewhere who will be in a Sugar Plum Fairy outfit.

As a teenager, you were told your kiss with a gay female friend you went to prom with wasn’t appropriate. What did that experience teach you about LGBTQ discrimination, and how did it influence you as an ally for the community? 

I thought it was bullshit at the time. Bullshit… bullshit! Our picture was not put up (on the event’s photo wall) because it was deemed not appropriate. I’m not sure it was that particular experience that influenced me; I just remember thinking that was stupid and I think I’ve thought that – always along the line – any discrimination against people because of their sexuality has been utterly ridiculous. It was the way I was brought up, and so I’ve never questioned gay rights. So yes, that was one of them; but no, I don’t think that was my sort of awakening. I’ve always had family with many gay friends, and people in the LGBTQ community have always been around me all my life and have been wonderful friends.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/04/keira-knightley-werks-the-queer-narrative-talks-colette/