#....or in which I reach through the screen and use Fu as my puppet that works too

[quicksilversquared]

Superhero Lessons

Every superhero needs a nudge or two to keep growing, and Chat Noir is no exception.

In which Master Fu actually mentors and Adrien gets the positive adult guidance that he so sorely needs.

Some people were born natural heroes, while others need to be taught and molded. Some needed to be pushed to act, and others needed to learn restraint. Some were quick on the uptake, while others were slower to learn.

Still, all of them had something in common- they needed occasional nudges in the right direction to make sure that they developed to their full potential.

And it seemed as though Chat Noir perhaps needed some guidance to stay on the right track and let go of some of his less desirable behaviors. Master Fu had had his eyes on the young heroes, and he had been getting concerned about letting the superheroes continue as they were, especially with how Hawkmoth seemed to be getting stronger.

Now was not a good time for the superheroes to trip up. Normally Master Fu would encourage self-discovery and letting the superheroes learn how to better themselves on their own, but they didn't have that luxury with the Butterfly Miraculous out and attacking the city, and with the Peacock also on the supervillain's side. Ladybug and Chat Noir's partnership would have to be flawless with the deck stacked against them- and Master Fu had a nagging suspicion that Chat Noir might need his partner's support before long.

It seemed as though he would have to extend his tutoring beyond strictly Miraculous-related lessons.

"What are you going to cover, Master?" Wayzz asked curiously as Master Fu scribbled out a quick outline of his thoughts. He could feel his kwami settle down on his shoulder. "Helping others? But Chat Noir already does that!"

"Yes, but I want to ease into it. If we start with the things that Adrien struggles with, he might catch on that we're talking about things that he needs to improve on and be more resistant to listening. It is like the frog in a pot of water: if we drop him in at a boil, he will want to jump right back out. If we start at a cool temperature and work our way up, he will stay and listen."

Wayzz giggled. "I've never heard of a frog in a pot of boiling water being a positive thing before."

"Yes, perhaps I could find a better example." Master Fu smiled at his giggling kwami before turning back to his page. "I might have you duck into the school and do a small bit of spying for me. Talk to Plagg, too. I know that he is normally obstinate, but he does care for Chat Noir and will want to see him grow."

"Of course, Master!" Wayzz said at once. "And should I talk to Tikki as well? She might notice different things."

Master Fu didn't even need to think about it. "Yes, that would be wise. She was the one who mentioned her initial concerns to me, after all."

"I can do that tomorrow!" Wayzz promised. Then he glanced towards the door. "But for now, I think you have a customer here, Master."

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Wayzz." Master Fu waved his kwami into hiding and then headed for the door. Before he opened it, he glanced back one more time at his notebook.

He hoped that this would work like he wanted it to. Otherwise, all of Paris could be in trouble.

  Master Fu's meetings with Adrien had moved out of Adrien's house, partly for safety reasons and partly because neither of them much liked being in the mansion. Rather than having Adrien come back to his shop, the two of them met up in a private room in the library.

He had persuaded Adrien's normal Mandarin teacher to do the same, just so Mr. Agreste and his assistant wouldn't be able to track how many times the "substitute" took over the lessons. It made things quite a bit easier.

After all, Master Fu didn't want his friend fired for excessive absences. There would be no easy way for him to meet up with Adrien then.

"Wait, everyday superhero lessons?" Adrien asked as soon as Master Fu had introduced the topic, his brow furrowed. "Not more lessons on Miraculous superheroes and our powers? Wouldn't that be more useful?"

"Being an everyday superhero can diffuse or prevent situations where someone might otherwise get akumatized," Master Fu explained. "Having the knowledge means that you can teach others, and you might even be able to talk an akuma down or prevent reakumatization. Now, when I say everyday superhero, what kinds of actions come to mind?"

Adrien hardly had to think about it before he was off, listing things like listen to other people's problems and cheer people up and help others resolve fights. It was quite a good list, though sometimes a little skimpy on the details.

(Sometimes a lot skimpy on the details.)

No matter. Everyone had to start somewhere, and Adrien certainly had a good base.

The lesson went by smoothly, with the two of them discussing ways to help others in class, in lessons, and on the street. After his initial confusion, Adrien had jumped into the lesson, listening and contributing ideas instead of checking out, as Master Fu had feared he might.

"That went well," Master Fu told Wayzz as they watched Adrien leave. They were going to stick around in the building for a while yet, to ensure that Adrien's caretakers didn't make any connection between Master Fu and Adrien, just in case. "We still have a lesson or two to go before we can get to the lessons that will make a real difference, but he's interested, at least. He's open to listening."

Wayzz nodded. "But we need to balance a careful approach with speed. Tikki has said that there have been a few near-akumatizations with Ladybug, and Chat Noir has been oblivious. Tikki said that if he had acted, it is likely that Ladybug would not have gotten as upset as she did."

Master Fu let out a long breath. "Ladybug had mentioned at least one of those. We may have to switch from taking over one Mandarin lesson a week to two. My friend will not be pleased, but if things have gotten to that point, it is critical. Chat Noir will simply have to pause his progress with learning the language."

"Doesn't Ladybug's mother speak Mandarin?" Wayzz suggested. "We could advise that he add conversing with a native speaker to Adrien's homework. That's most of what he's missing out on when you take over lessons."

"That is good advice." Master Fu started packing up his things, tucking his notebook back into his bag and slowly getting to his feet. "And it's possible that I'll only have to do two lessons a week for a couple weeks."

"So we're decided?" Wayzz asked, ducking into Master Fu's collar as they started making their way towards the door. "Two lessons a week, until Chat Noir is at Ladybug's side in both civilian and superhero forms?"

Master Fu nodded. "Let's hope that it's soon enough."

  Lesson Number Two moved into discussion about other forms of helping people, when it wasn't just too much stuff to carry or a bad day that was causing bad feelings. They talked about addressing the root of the problem, and Master Fu brought up bullying. He started listing ways to recognize most bullies- the insults, the name-calling, the threats and intimidation and trying to make people feel bad about themselves. He could see Adrien's expression turn a little uncomfortable, and it only took a moment for Master Fu to figure out why.

Ah, yes. The childhood friend had turned into a bully, and he seemed unwilling to completely disassociate himself with her.

Well. Perhaps they had to cover when to let go of old friends who were no longer good influences, too, and how continued association with bullies could affect his new friends.

Undeterred, Master Fu continued. He mentioned how important it was to intervene when he saw someone bullying another person, and how repeated rebukes and consequences could potentially change a bully's ways, reducing the number of akumatizations that they caused. Even if not, seeing that they had another person's support could keep the person being bullied from getting upset and akumatized.

"And what if they don't change?" Adrien wanted to know. "Are you just supposed to give them up as a lost cause?"

There was a muffled "Yes, idiot" from Adrien's shirt pocket. Master Fu chose to ignore that.

"It depends on what you mean by giving up on them," Master Fu told Adrien. "Give up on correcting them and protecting their victims? No, never. You must continue sticking up with the bullied, clearly and loudly. Give up on them becoming good friend material? Yes, that would be smart. Trying to become or stay friends with someone who insists on bullying others also hurts their victims, because then the message that you're giving off is that you're minimizing their pain and saying that it doesn't matter."

"But if they could become a better person and you know they have it in them somewhere, deep down?" Adrien pressed. "If they used to be a go- a decent person?"

"I believe that then, the best course of action would be to inform the bully that you will not be friends with them again until they change their ways for good- and then stick to that," Master Fu added. "If they relapse, they will not have your friendship. Refuse to turn a blind eye to what they do to other people. It is not a personality quirk to ignore."

Adrien worried his lip, but didn't protest further.

"If they truly value your friendship, they will make the steps to become a better person," Fu assured him. "And if they don't- well, there are plenty of people out there who don't bully others for you to befriend. It is not your duty to put in a ton of work to try to change someone when they have no interest in changing."

Adrien was pretty quiet for the rest of the lesson, but the toothy grin that Plagg flashed Master Fu and Wayzz as Adrien packed up at the end of the lesson encouraged him. Adrien would no doubt do some self-reflection tonight, and maybe tomorrow he would do better.

"I will pop in late tonight and check in with Plagg on how Adrien is responding," Wayzz told Master Fu once they had returned home. "If we can continue forging forward, or if we're perhaps moving a bit too quickly."

"I want to get to the next lesson soon," Master Fu said, frowning slightly. "The one that would address Ladybug's biggest threat at the moment. After that, we can maybe take a step back before approaching the issue that could drive Ladybug and Chat Noir apart."

"Hopefully he'll still be open to listening by that point."

Master Fu glanced at the gramophone hiding the inactive Miraculous. He could remember his worries when he had stood in front of the chest, hoping that he would choose good candidates. "I think he will. Chat Noir isn't perfect, but we have to believe that he will be open to improving himself."

"After all, Paris could depend on it."

  Adrien couldn't help but be nervous as he headed into school. Today was the day that he would confront Chloe about how she hadn't gotten better at all, and if it didn't go well- and who was he kidding, it wasn't going to go well- then he would stop being her friend, full stop.

He didn't want to lose a friend. But he had talked to Plagg last night, after getting home from his time with Master Fu, and his kwami had pointed out that if he hung on too hard to a friend that was a bully, he could risk losing his other friends, as they were a target of Chloe's bullying, and he could miss out on making other friends in the future because of her, too. And Adrien didn't want that to happen.

So even though Chloe had been the one to get him enrolled in public school in the first place, he had to admit that she only cared about a few people and treated the rest of the world badly. He couldn't tolerate that any longer.

He really, really wanted to put it off. He wasn't good with confrontations. He had been encouraged to avoid them for his whole life, but he trusted Master Fu.

And then the first thing that Adrien saw when he stepped through the school doors was Chloe bullying a younger student, sneering over her outfit.

"When was that in style?" Chloe was saying, gesturing to the ruffled skirt with a sneer on her face. "Sometime last century? Or never, probably. It's super ugly."

Adrien felt the superhero blood in him boil. Frowning, he made a beeline over to where Chloe was. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Marinette approaching, too.

Good. Maybe they could tag-team the situation. Adrien would deal with Chloe, and Marinette could comfort the girl.

"That's enough, Chloe," Adrien scolded as he drew closer, crossing his arms. "Cut it out. Everyone has different taste."

Chloe sniffed. "Yeah, and? She has terrible taste."

"So do you, if you think that shade of lipstick really goes with your complexion," Marinette chimed in, glaring at Chloe. She rested a hand on the bullied girl's shoulder, gently drawing her away. With the two of them gone, Adrien turned his full (very displeased) attention back to Chloe.

"Don't act like I wasn't right, because I was," Chloe sniffed, turning her attention to her nails. "Absolutely atrocious."

"What is your issue?" Adrien demanded, scowling at her. "Did you really need to make any sort of comment at all?"

Chloe actually looked startled. "No, but- they're ugly, someone needed to tell her that she was being an eyesore-"

"No, you didn't," Adrien told her, crossing his arms for emphasis. "No one did, so don't act like you were doing the school some sort of service. Her outfit wasn't actually hurting anyone, andI think even you knew that. You just wanted to hurt someone, because you think that it's fun. That's not cool, and- and that's not what a superhero would do."

For once Chloe seemed at a loss for words. "It- I mean-"

"And I'm not interested in being friends with a bully, I already told you that," Adrien continued. "So I'm done being friends with you, Chloe."

That shook Chloe out of her shock, and she sniffed, turning up her nose. "But you promised that we would always be friends, remember? I was better. You're not breaking your promise, are you?"

Adrien nearly flinched because, yeah, promises had been a big thing for them. But he was on a mission, darn it. He was being an everyday superhero, and he had to stand strong. "You broke that promise first. As soon as I said that we could be friends again, you decided to be awful again right away. That wasn't what we had agreed on. Not being awful meant in the long term, not just for a day."

Chloe looked at a loss for words.

"So I'm not being your friends again until you can show that you've actually become a better person for good," Adrien finished. "I'm not interested in being friends with a bully, Chloe. You've hurt too many people for me to turn a blind eye to it anymore. And I should have realized that a long, long time ago."

And with that, he turned and walked away. He didn't stop until he had reached his locker.

He was shaking with nerves.

"You did a good job, kid," Plagg encouraged him, peeping out of Adrien's jacket. "Now you just have to stay strong. Chloe'll probably try to win you over again, just like she did last time, but don't fall for it. And don't forget- if you see her bullying anyone, step in."

Adrien nodded, trying to think past his buzzing nerves.

That was why he didn't like confrontation with his friends. Akuma attacks? No problem at all. Making small comments to Chloe? Not bad at all. Scolding people like Lila- well, being disappointed in them, at least- for what they did? She wasn't his friend, so it wasn't hard.

Or, well, it didn't feel bad. It was hard to argue with her, since she tended to manipulate the conversation into making him trip up.

But Chloe? She had a much more dominant personality than he did. She was pretty intimidating, and after her being his only friend for years, he hadn't wanted to upset her. She was a lot less approachable than his other friends, even.

But he could do this. Maybe it made him feel a little ill, but that- that was something he would have to improve on.

He hadn't picked up many new ways to be an everyday superhero from his first lesson from Master Fu, but this- this was new to him. It was something that he could do differently.

Adrien was still off in his first class, distracted and trying to calm his nerves. His fight-or-flight response had really kicked in, and then he had chosen fight when his natural instinct in those circumstances had been flight. Still, he was resisting the urge to glance over at Chloe and see how she was faring.

If she was going to change, he would notice it over the course of several weeks, not over the course of an hour.

"You all right, dude?" Nino asked as they headed to their next class. "You're acting weird."

"I'll be fine," Adrien assured him, flashing a quick smile. "There was just some stuff that I had to deal with this morning."

Nino nodded wisely, probably assuming that Adrien had had trouble with his father again. Adrien wasn't going to correct him.

Hopefully whatever suggestions Master Fu had for next time wouldn't be so nerve-wracking to actually implement.

  "This is starting to feel a little heavy-handed," Wayzz commented as he watched Master Fu put together the last of his outline for Adrien's next lesson. "We're essentially pointing a big, flashing arrow at the major issues Adrien has had, without any filler. At some point, he's going to see these lessons as a criticism of his personality, and then we might be dealing with an akumatized Chat Noir situation."

"I can emphasize that most people do not do as much as he does, and we're focusing on going above and beyond what normal people do." Master Fu sighed, massaging his temples. He should have maybe started with these lessons earlier, spacing them out more so that he could address issues as they came up, instead of needing to rush through things now. But hindsight was 20/20, and he shouldn't beat himself up about it. "Plagg can warn us if Adrien starts feeling down, and we can emphasize the he should not beat himself up over the learning curve. That's what the teenaged years are for, to learn and grow and improve oneself. He just needs the process helped along a bit because he is a superhero."

Wayzz said nothing.

"I would not push so hard if it weren't for Ladybug being in danger," Master Fu added. "Tikki has been quite concerned about this whole thing, and so I'll take my cues from her. Chat Noir is in the unique position of being able to help, and so he should."

"That is true," Wayzz admitted. "If Ladybug gets akumatized, we will be in trouble. And Chat Noir does need to learn many of the things you have on your plan. I just worry."

"That we could cause a disaster through our intervention? I worried about the same thing." Master Fu let out a long breath. He did not want to think about the consequences of either of the city's main superheroes getting possessed by an akuma. But the fact remained that Ladybug was the only one capable of purifying akumas, and so he had to take that into account when planning his lessons. If Chat Noir did get possessed, they could always call on the three temporary superheroes to come to Ladybug's aid.

Adrien seemed to be in good spirits when he joined Master Fu in the back corner of the library, which was an encouraging sign. When they got settled, Master Fu found out why.

"I confronted my friend- well, my former friend- who's a bully a couple days ago," he reported. "And I told her that we weren't going to be friends unless she improved. She did the same thing that she did last time, with trying to 'prove' that she could be good, with doing something nice for our classmates to try to win me back right away, but I didn't fall for it." Adrien's smile grew. "So she's had to keep doing it. She's slipped up a few times, but she catches herself."

Plagg snorted. "Sometimes."

"Well, it's better than before!" Adrien protested. "And I'm not going to count her as a friend again until she keeps it up for a longer time."

"Good, good." That was a good sign. Adrien was willing to change his behavior and confront outside bullies. "And people seem happier around her, I'm sure."

"There's fewer tears," Adrien agreed. "And less frustration from- from my friend who usually tries to stop Chloe's bullying. I should have done this ages ago, but I- I just didn't want to lose her as a friend, I guess, and I don't like confrontation, and I let that get in my way." He made a face, then refocused his attention on Master Fu. "So what are we covering today?"

"We're continuing our discussion of how to recognize and deal with bullies," Master Fu told him, smiling. "As they come in many shapes and sizes, and they cause a lot of distress to people. So we have the normal schoolyard bullies, who push others around with words and actions that have an obvious and immediate negative impact. They're also the easiest to confront, because the people around you can also recognize the bullying for what it is and also want it to stop."

Adrien nodded.

"There are also bullies that are craftier- they do veiled threats, or abuse positions of power to get others to do that they want, or use their words to try to alienate others. They aren't always as direct, but their impact can be just as bad." Master Fu waited for Adrien to nod before continuing. "Do you know of any examples?"

"Chloe's father," Adrien said immediately. "The Mayor of Paris. He always throws his weight around to get what he wants. He's pretty obvious about it, though."

"Any others?"

Adrien frowned in thought before shaking his head. "I- I don't think so? I don't know that many people."

Master Fu let out a considering hum. "All right. Well, we can't quite approach the Mayor's bullying in the same way that you approached your friend's, but you can still can out that kind of bullying. For a public figure like the mayor, calling them out in a group or crowd will have the most effect, because they can be shamed into backing down."

Adrien frowned. "Shamed? Isn't- isn't that a bad thing to do? Since they could get upset and get akumatized?"

Master Fu frowned. He could see where Adrien was coming from, but it was important for him to be able to recognize when that wasn't the case. "In this case, the Mayor knows full well that what he's doing is wrong. He might get embarrassed, but hardly to the point of becoming akumatized. Here, speaking out lets others know that you noticed the same thing, and they'll not be alone if they speak up about it. It's hard being the first person to stick your head out, but someone has to do it if there's to be any change."

Adrien nodded, looking nervous.

"There's no need to go seek out confrontations, but if you're there, speaking up can make a world of difference." Fu smiled at him. "But that can come later, really. It's easier to start at school and work up later."

"Unless I'm transformed," Adrien spoke up. "People might not listen to a teenager protesting something, but if Chat Noir says that something isn't cool… well, people would listen, right?"

Master Fu nodded. "Right." He checked his notes. They had gotten a little sidetracked with the discussion about the mayor, but that was fine. "There are also bullies that use emotional manipulation to get what they want. They try to make people feel bad for them or feel bad about what they said, particularly if that person said something in opposition to what the bully wanted."

Adrien nodded. It didn't look like things had quite clicked yet, so Master Fu had to be a bit more heavy-handed, it seemed.

"Those kinds of bullies may lie a lot to establish themselves in a higher position," he prompted, trying not to sigh in relief when the light finally went on in Adrien's eyes. "And in that case, it's important to call out both the lies and the emotional manipulation and make it come to an end."

"But isn't it important to take the high road sometimes and let them get caught up in their own tangle of lies?" Adrien asked earnestly. "Because if you call them out, they might get akumatized, and that wouldn't be good. You should encourage them to change, because what they're doing will end up backfiring on them, and then if they don't- well, they're bound to trip up on their own web, right?"

This was what he had heard from Wayzz, and it was what Fu had most wanted to address. This high road of Adrien's wasn't that at all, and it needed to end.

"Even if it's not immediately apparent, the emotional manipulation and lies is not without consequence," Master Fu started out. "Liars like that will go to great lengths to keep the fact that they're lying a secret. If people protest, they might try to threaten them into secrecy. And there is a very fine line between taking the high road and simply being inactive."

From Adrien's shirt, Plagg snorted loudly. "He means there's a fine line between taking the high road and being a doormat. And you're being a doormat."

...well, Fu supposed that it could be said that way, too. From the irritated look on Plagg's face… well, he would wager that Plagg was rather fond of Tikki's Chosen and wanted to make sure that she wasn't at risk of being akumatized.

"I am not a doormat!" Adrien protested. "But Lila's already been akumatized- what, three times? Four? More than that? I've lost count. And her lies are so outrageous that people are bound to pick up on them eventually."

"Do you not think that people might be upset when they discover the truth and find out that not only they were lied to, but you knew all along and didn't warn them?" Master Fu prompted. "I feel like that would be prime akumatization potential there, particularly if your liar implied that she would get people connected to others."

Adrien's expression dropped at that. "She told Nino- my friend who wants to maybe go into movie production- she told him that she knew a bunch of movie and music producers. And I know that he was really hoping that maybe she could arrange some Skype meetings or something so that he could pick some hints."

"If you let the lies grow for too long, there will be more disappointment at the end, when people have built up dreams and have had them for a while." Fu let that sink in, then continued. "If the lies are clipped, perhaps there was a momentary hope, but people won't have the time to base all of their hopes and dreams on that one lie. It hurts momentarily, but heals more easily."

The determined look on Adrien's face as he nodded made Fu's spirits lift. "Okay. But what's the best way to address that? She's just going to cut me off and deny everything if I try to call her out in front of other people. I already tried talking to her in private, and it didn't do anything. She just basically told me to stay out of it"

"I'm glad that you asked." Master Fu set his notes aside and sat up straighter, smiling at Adrien. "We can spend the rest of the lesson discussing strategies for dealing with your situation, if you like."

  Adrien had to admit that he hadn't been entirely convinced that the "everyday superhero" lessons from Master Fu were entirely worth the time when he had started. He already knew how to be helpful and kind, didn't he? It was what had gotten him the Miraculous in the first place. But with every passing lesson, Adrien found himself learning things. Big things.

He had cut things off with Chloe, of course, and ever since there had been less bullying than before. She seemed a bit down most of the time, but she was doing better. People were more willing to work with her and help her now that she wasn't going to cut them down.

Approaching the Lila situation was taking a little more time and planning. Since Master Fu had suggested not doing it alone- and it would feel wrong to not include Marinette in the process, since Adrien had told her before that they should leave things alone when she had wanted to expose Lila's lies right away- Adrien had pulled Marinette over and they had ended coming up with a plan over lunch at the Dupain-Cheng house.

Instead of trying to confront Lila directly or in front of a crowd, they had decided to take the approach of quietly spreading doubts about Lila's stories. It wasn't hard- there were a lot of loose ends to her lies that were easy enough to point out when they had a bit of time. They had gone to people individually- Max, Alix, Nino, the teachers- to point specific things out, places where the stories didn't quite make sense or match up. There were a lot fewer rapt faces listening to Lila now, though there were some people who just didn't seem willing to listen.

(Like Alya, for example. She seemed so used to dismissing Marinette's concerns about Lila that she waved Adrien off before he could finish talking. He and Marinette had exchanged an exasperated look over Alya's shoulder at that.

If she wasn't willing to listen, Alya would have to deal with the crushing disappointment of discovering Lila's lies once that time came. And it would come soon, if Adrien was right in how seriously the teachers had taken what he and Marinette had told them. They had shared their doubts about Lila's so-called trip and presented what evidence they had, and the allegations that a student had been skipping class….well, those weren't going to be taken lightly.)

Marinette seemed a lot happier now that people weren't listening to Lila, practically glowing as they went through their day together. Adrien wondered if maybe Lila had been trying to keep her silent, and that had been affecting her.

He should have noticed earlier. He should have helped earlier. But now they could be their own little everyday superhero team together. Marinette was fun to hang out with, and as someone who seemed to already have the contents of Master Fu's lessons down pat, she was a fabulous influence to be around.

Besides, hanging out in the Dupain-Cheng living room to work on their homework together was so much fun.

Adrien made sure to tell Master Fu about his progress at their next lesson together.

"Between Marinette and I, I think we've gotten half of our class to stop listening to Lila," Adrien reported. "My friend, Marinette, I mean, since I guess you wouldn't know her. She was the one to come up with most of the plan, really, after I suggested taking a less direct approach. We just keep track of Lila's lies and then go to the people most likely to listen and happen to mention that hey, that doesn't sound quite right, does it? And then we mention that we looked it up, and what we found instead. And then people think about it, and kind of go-"

Master Fu exchanged an amused look with Wayzz as Adrien kept talking, telling him who in their class they had already approached and how there were still some people who weren't listening to them, and how that was super frustrating but they had gotten to the point where there were other people talking about Lila's lying, so he and Marinette weren't the only ones. And the more people there were who talked about it, the more the original naysayers were willing to listen.

"Marinette's been making sure that people don't directly approach Lila, so that Lila doesn't try to make them a target," Adrien continued. "Which is super-smart, and I wouldn't have thought of it. I think she's persuaded people to talk to their friends and classmates, too, so that we don't have to try to hit everyone up individually since that would look weird. I wouldn't have been able to do it without her, really."

"She's a good leader, then?" Fu asked, even though he already knew the answer. Marinette was a fantastic leader, and she was still growing into her full potential.

Adrien lit up. "She really is! She already knows everything that you've been teaching me, so that's been super-helpful to have. When I get lost or confused about what I should do in a situation, I just ask her and she helps! She can be a little impulsive at times, maybe, or gets stuck on how she wants to do something, but I think we balance each other out really well. She would make a fantastic superhero if we need to add another person to our team," he added. "Maybe with a longer-range power, since she can be a little clumsy sometimes, but that's just part of who she is! It's really cute, actually-"

This time, the look that Fu and Wayzz exchanged was full of amusement. Even if Adrien hadn't admitted it to himself yet, someone definitely had a crush.

Plagg's head popped out of Adrien's collar as his Chosen continued prattling on about his friend and how she kept so many people from getting akumatized and how she was so much fun to be around and how Adrien was glad that Marinette seemed to be relaxing around him now because they were great friends and had a ton of fun hanging out. When he was sure that Fu was looking, Plagg heaved a dramatic (but silent) sigh, rolling his eyes before slowly sinking back down into the jacket.

Fu hid a smile. No doubt Plagg didn't appreciate having to hear Adrien's gushing about not only Ladybug but also Marinette. Still, it was a good sign that Adrien seemed so attuned to his friend now. No doubt he would catch it right away if she was feeling upset at all about anything at all. In that way, the gushing was quite sweet.

Still, Fu could barely resist the urge to whack his head against something when Adrien referred to Marinette as his "everyday superhero partner". After all, even a Turtle had his limits.

  Fu's lessons continued, and now Adrien was paying rapt attention. It was clear that being homeschooled and only allowed out for photoshoots and sports had made him miss a decent amount of social lessons, and a lot of the stuff that Fu was teaching him hadn't exactly been shown in his movies and animes. Fu and Wayzz worked with Adrien to make sure that he could recognize when his own words or actions could hurt others, teaching him how to distinguish when he should get involved in something and when it was something that he should really leave alone.

Adrien hadn't thought that he had needed that lesson, really. Surely he could distinguish when something was wrong or right, right? But it turned out that the line was maybe more blurred than he had thought. Or not more blurred, necessarily, but he needed to take into consideration other people's points of view before fully judging a situation.

That- well, Adrien was working on that. It was a hard process to change to automatically thinking about where other people might be coming from. There weren't that many opportunities to practice that, really- especially not with Chloe working to be on her best behavior- and Adrien didn't have a lot of free time that he could use to try to think of past examples and reconsider his position on them. But he was trying to keep it in mind.

"What do you think will be this week, Plagg?" Adrien asked as he jogged up the steps to the library. "And how many more of these kinds of lessons d'you think there will be?"

"Learning is a lifelong process," Plagg droned boredly. "I don't know, kid, I don't make up the lesson plans."

"Yeah, but I know that you and Wayzz talk. Don't think that I don't see him in my bag at school sometimes." Adrien smiled at the librarian before heading up the stairs and into the private study rooms in the back. "And don't try to tell me that he just wants to hang out. I know that's not true."

Plagg yawned. "Oh, so now kwamis can't just hang out? We have to stay isolated, all on our own? Rude."

"You know that's not what I meant."

Much to Adrien's surprise, when he reached their back room, Master Fu was reading a newspaper instead of waiting for him at the table. Adrien hovered uncertainly for a moment, then entered, closed the door, and settled gingerly in his usual chair.

"Good afternoon, Adrien," Master Fu said after another minute, finally putting the newspaper down. Adrien chanced a glance downward at the article that Master Fu had been reading. He recognized it as one that he had skimmed himself over breakfast, but he didn't remember much about it other than the fact that some politician was being forced to resign over inappropriate behavior. "How are you today?"

"I'm doing pretty well," Adrien responded automatically. "And you?"

"Well, well. Business has been good, so no complaints there." Master Fu smiled, then gave the newspaper a pat. Now, down to business! I was reminded today that there was a form of bullying that we have yet to fully cover- harassment. We've spoken about some forms, but the big one in the public eye at the moment is sexual harassment."

Adrien nodded, glancing down at the newspaper again.

"The politician in this article is getting in quite a lot of trouble for just that," Master Fu added, noticing where Adrien's attention had gone. "He was on the severe end of the spectrum, as far as these things go. Have you read this article?"

"I skimmed part of it," Adrien admitted. "I don't remember much. I was in a bit of a hurry to leave for school."

Master Fu nodded as he turned the newspaper around for Adrien to read, pointing to one section of it. "This is what a number of women have accused him of doing, and he's going to be going to trial for it."

Adrien leaned forward to read the list. He winced at the things listed- those poor, poor women. That was awful.

"If you ever see those kinds of things happening- that's one of the times when punching someone in the face is entirely the right thing to do," Master Fu told him. "Anything physical should have immediate and painful consequences. If necessary, call for the authorities."

Adrien nodded seriously.

"I would hope that you won't have to deal with anything quite that severe for at the very least a couple years," Master Fu added. "But there are some less severe forms of harassment that might be affecting your age group already, so maybe we should focus on those for the time being."

Adrien nodded, eager to start the day's learning.

Ten minutes later, he was feeling a lot less comfortable with the day's lesson.

Master Fu had talked about inappropriate touches, and that had been fine. Then Master Fu had continued into how to recognize when a girl was uncomfortable with flirting or other advances, and how to avoid pushing to that point in the first place. That was followed by how to recognize rejections both verbal and not, and how important it was to actually listen to them.

And much to Adrien's growing horror, some of those things that Master Fu was talking about- they sounded like him. He was doing some of that stuff to Ladybug.

He hadn't ever wanted to recognize himself as the aggressor in any of Master Fu's lessons, and somehow he had ended up doing just that.

He didn't ask too many questions for the rest of the lesson, and it was definitely a subdued Adrien who bade Master Fu good-bye and left the library.

"My Social Studies homework is going to have to wait for tomorrow," Adrien told Plagg as soon as they got back to his room. He squared his shoulders, determined. Master Fu hadn't gone super into depth about some of the stuff they had talked about- there hadn't been the time- but now that Adrien knew that it was an area that he needed to improve on, he wanted as much information as possible to know what he should be doing before he next saw Ladybug. "I have some serious research to do."

  Plagg couldn't help but smile as he watched Adrien work at his computer, two days after their last meeting with Master Fu. He had been concerned for a while there about his kid's behavior, but Adrien seemed to have his head back on straight now. He was standing up for what was actually right now, and it was clearly taking a load off of Marinette's shoulders to have the backup. And Adrien had chattered at length after one patrol about how he and Ladybug had talked about boundaries, and what kinds of teasing almost-flirts were okay and what wasn't, so that was all good, too.

Plagg had to thank his lucky stars that they had Master Fu to serve the role of mentor. It they didn't, he would have had to take over the task and heaven knew that that would have been an utter disaster. He just didn't have the right approach.

(After all, Adrien hadn't exactly been very happy about the "doormat" comment, and that was just Plagg's teaching style, really. Blunt and direct and to the point. Some people didn't want to respond well to that, and that was their problem.)

He knew that there might be relapses at some point- Adrien had had an image in his head about how to woo a lady thanks to all of his movies and animes and whatnot growing up, and reality tended to have a bit of a different view on persistence when going after someone who had turned them down- but Plagg was sure that Adrien would correct himself before long. He wanted to do his best, after all, and he definitely didn't want to lose Ladybug's friendship.

Adrien was well on his way to being a balanced, happy superhero. Now, maybe Master Fu should turn his attention to Ladybug and do some lessons on figuring out when she was actually to blame for something and when the adults (or people around her in general) were just being stupid and needed to take responsibility for their own darn selves, because he had seen that she had a habit of heaping all of the blame on herself and that was not healthy.

On second thought, maybe Plagg should do that himself. Fu and Tikki were too hung up on taking responsibility and being self-aware and yadda yadda yadda. What Marinette needed was a good dose of Plagg's laissez-faire attitude and a bit of Plagg's Patented Scathing Social Commentary on how dumb people were behaving instead of Tikki's thou-shalt-not-do-no-wrong scolding.

Plagg sniggered a little of the thought of him teaching anyone. He generally let the obvious teaching fall on someone else's shoulders and prodded his own charges to change via throwaway comments and sarcasm instead. Still, he could probably figure out some way to convey what he wanted to without changing and having to pretend that he was all wise and responsible. Ladybug was smart. She would pick up on things quickly.

Maybe he could find some way to suggest that Ladybug and Chat Noir switch Miraculous for a day or two so that they would improve their understanding of each other or some other mumbo-jumbo like that. If he just flat-out suggested that, Plagg knew that his motivations would be regarded with suspicion. But if he found an opening to sort of sarcastically make the suggestion, then they would probably be all over it, and Plagg would have his chance.

Look out, kid. As soon as I can manage to figure out how to spend a decent chunk of time with you, school will be in session.

[k-l-neidecker]

One Person’s Take on what the Infinity War Pitch Room Conversation was Like — K. L. Neidecker

One Person’s Take on what the Infinity War Pitch Room Conversation was Like

A week or so back, I finally broke down and watched Avengers: Infinity War.

It took me a long time to get around to it. I’m not sure, but I think, perhaps, I’ve seen the requisite number of superhero movies one must watch to be considered a happy and productive human in modern society. Check that box, one piece of being an American consumer fully in place, now on to the next strange trend…

Not that I hate comic book movies. In fact, I enjoy them. Just, hey, a few dozen a year is more than enough, thanks! And let’s not even mention that we are stuck with Marvel movies as DC seems to be having…trouble…making movies that don’t suck since the third movie of the Nolan Batman series.

So, considering the spoilers about Infinity War which assaulted my eyes for months, and the fact I knew what was going to happen…the supposed “big moment”…I simply felt no great rush to see it. Sure, I’d see it sooner or later, but it was way down on the the list of things to do—somewhere below a visit to the proctologist and spraying out the inside of the garbage cans.

But, hey, I figured it would be fine for a movie night.

And from minute one, I knew I made a terrible mistake, one which proves karma is a bitch and in a past life I must have been a terrible person. Maybe Attila the Hun’s third cousin twice removed, Bob the Hunnish.

I’d like to present to you my imaginings if what the pitching and brainstorming room must have been like as they planned Infinity War out.

Neon lights flicker and highlight nicotine stained drop ceiling panels. The energy is high, the air buzzing with electricity, though that could always just be the faulty wiring buried in walls which have been privy to so many great ideas in better days…

“Ok, so me and the boys have been talking,” Jim said, gesturing to a pile of sock puppets discarded in a dingy corner, button-eyes staring blankly into the distance, “and we got some ideas for the next Avengers movie.”

The writer’s room hushed in anticipation. A head writer for Iron Man 2, an artichoke heart pickled in brine, wetly rolled from its perch.

“Ok, so we open with a battle! Action is good, right? People love that stuff.”

A cricket farted in the distance, the mating call falling on dead ears.

“I mean, just some fighting, on a space ship. In space! Bunch of stuff happens. Sure, it will be confusing, and maybe some viewers will wonder, hey, did I miss an entire movie or something, because this scene feels like it’s part of some larger whole…

“And then we kill off some important characters! Yeah, baby, yeah! That will get people invested.”

A murmur of assent rippled through the room, taking the form of various belches and the whisper quiet rustle of a nostril mined for ore by a probing digit.

“Ok, and then the Hulk enters the picture, a being so powerful he’s been sent into space because of how dangerous he is to have around…but Thanos mops the floor with him. And guess what? That’s the last time we see the Hulk for the rest of the movie!” Jim leaned back and placed dirty boots on the table, grinning.

He continued, “So, no Hulk, because hell, who needs him anyway, and it fixes the plot hole where he would simply own Thanos early on, end of movie.

“Then, we add in every Marvel hero we have into the mix. So many, in fact, that they all only get five minute snippets on screen, and we just keep cutting between everyone fast enough to send a third of our viewers into epileptic fits. Thank goodness for CGI because we need a half-thousand sets to marionette these characters over.

“Thor, even though he’s been around multiple earthlings over a bunch of movies, will act dumb as hell and confused about words like ‘moron’”

Moron twitched in his sleep, the sound of his name nearly pulling him out of his comfortable dreamland.

“Also, some of the best characters in our universe, the space cadets from Gargantuans of the Galaxy or whatever it was we made a few years back, will run into Thor at random in the almost infinite reaches of the unfathomable soul sucking emptiness that is the ever expanding universe. Good timing!

“Let’s see…ah, right, Thanos just keeps winning non stop, and our heroes simply throw the same tactics at him over and over to no avail. You know, like punches and missiles and some Kung fu or some shit. Hey, the dude owned Hulk, so why wouldn’t Captain America try punching him in the gob?”

Tim, the newest writer, one not yet broken in by Marvel and not yet fitted out for his Marvel Brand Gimp Suit™, broke his silence when he could take no more. “Hey, uh, this all sounds great and all, but don’t you think—“

“No, I try not to, Tim. Thinking is the direct cause of migraines and bed wetting. Ok, so, we have wizards doing the circle things with their palms, some space folk bopping around almost disconnected from the rest of the story, Avengers not calling other Avengers even though fifty percent of the life of the entire universe hangs in the balance…damn, what else was I going to say,” Jim grasped a bong like an infant would a bottle and ripped on it before smashing it on his own head in victory.

“Right. The love story. Every great tale needs a love story: Romeo and Juliet, Ren and Stimpy, all the greats. So, we have a budding relationship between Vision and whatsherface. Let’s make the viewer care, get them invested.”

Tim nodded, “Right, that’s a solid idea man, sounds—“

Jim cut him off, “Of course, with fifty main characters and a two hour runtime, we won’t actually see any of this love or whatever. We’ll just hint at it a bit, you know. Gotta save screen time for purple ballsack, er, I mean Thanos, to wax laconically about how nice a bro he really is on the inside.”

“Hey, no, I don’t think—“ Tim stuttered.

“Good, my man, good. I think you’ll fit in here with that attitude. So, then let’s kill of all the fun characters. Let’s start with the people of color. First scene to last scene, let’s off some green folk, dissolve some Wakanda heroes, let’s go for broke.

“Again, no Hulk. Just Bruce in a CGI suit, so it’s kinda like the Hulk but suckier. You know, we wouldn’t want that actor to actually be in the movie or anything. Just CGI his ass at all times. Note to self, can we just completely CGI his likeness and not have to have an actor at all?

“Let’s have Dr. Strangelove or whatever his name is willingly hand over the one item his entire order was formed to protect… You know, stay true to the characters.”

The sounds of shattering glass echoed from wall to wall as two writers leapt naked through the windows, fist-bumping one another and shouting, “Brooooooooo!”

“See, Tim,” Jim said, “that’s the kind of energy we need here. Get your shit together. Ok, and lastly, let’s dissolve all the interesting characters we have left. Black Panther for one! Oh, and did I bring up the White Wolf? No? Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have an arc in the movie anyway. Hell, no one needs a character arc here. It’s only half a story, after all, and doesn’t need to stand alone or anything.”

Joseph the Randy Donkey brayed a lonely song at the water cooler before defecating a sad pile on the floor.

“Damn, I love that donkey,” Jim said while cleaning his left ear with his right big toe. “So, you see where I’m going here, right? For year people have complained we are formulaic, but look at us being all badass and breaking the mold! We will take a decade worth of characters and squash them together, making half a movie that means nothing on it’s own, simply designed to set up our next million dollar movie in a year, needlessly kill off dozens of the best characters in a way that means nothing and will be reversed within the first quarter of the next movie, dabble in romance sorta, and wipe out half the life in the universe to save everyone from running out of food and stuff!”

The room erupted in cheers and whoops. Three men dueled to the death in celebration, Moron awoke from his long slumber in time to vote in the midterms and drive without using his blinkers, seven Hollywood executives took time away from sexually harassing the donkey the stamp and squeal in delight, a motley mob of slatterns boxed with a dusty group of heroin addicts in a mock Walmart, and the seventh seal was opened in the distance.

But a hush fell on the room like a smothering pillow as Tim cleared his throat.

“Hey, um, if Thanos can control time and matter with a mere thought, wielding enough power to kill fifty percent of all living things at the blink of an eye…why doesn’t he simply will infinite resources into being instead of killing untold trillions due to limited resources?”

The silence in the room laid so thick in the air that a large housefly, fat and well fed on over-ripe Hollywood movie drech, collapsed like a crumpled piece of tinfoil from the mere pressure in the room.

Lucky for the brave writers of Infinity War, there was a handy and already broken window to defenestrate Tim from before calling the seventy-five actors and warming up the computers for modern CGI magic.

https://klneidecker.com/2018/10/22/one-persons-take-on-what-the-infinity-war-pitch-room-conversation-was-like/