#....and they were kinda awkward to edit in front of my mother

[gingerteafairy]

𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙩𝙥 (𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

Rodrick tries to get your attention, even if he had to cosplay of your non canon otp.

tags n warnings: fluff, nerdy!reader, death note references, cosplay, suggestive, perv!rodrick, shy!reader. word count: 1.5k

Rodrick Heffley sort of hated you. 

Okay, not really. It wasn’t that Rodrick hated you—you weren’t fake or mean, or some weirdo who would make him cringe. You were just... well, weird. He’d totally clocked that you had a crush on him after, like, a minute. It was obvious.

The blushes when he walked by, the borderline embarrassing comments on his Instagram—it was like a neon sign. But you were cute. Annoyingly cute. With your big sunshine smiles, dorky jokes, and all that awkward eye contact whenever you bumped into each other at school. 

He gave you hell about being “weird.” But he liked it. Actually, loved it. This perv already pictured you in dozens of sexual scenarios with imaginary reactions he’d love to see. Like, would you be all shy when he took off his clothes or would you laugh if you got into some creative position? Would your glasses be foggy? He really wanted to see you with nothing but your glasses on.

You were just a girl giggling at his Instagram posts. His story, of course, featured him slumped on a museum bench, arms crossed, staring at some abstract painting like it had personally offended him. The caption? “Modern art is dead. Let me out.”

You knew better than to expect a sweet reply. It was either ghosting or snarky comebacks. Spoiler alert—you got the snarky reply.

But seeing him in person? Still the worst thing ever.

Which is exactly why you froze when you spotted him one afternoon, sitting lazily on the steps of his front porch. He looked perfectly disheveled in his black metal band shirt, one leg stretched out, his back leaned casually against the doorframe. Like a damn indie rock album cover.

Your brain screamed nope, but your feet had already carried you halfway past his house before—

"Hey, dorky.”

Rodrick’s voice broke through your panic like a needle to a balloon. You skidded to a halt, eyes wide. Slowly, you turned, clutching the strap of your bag for dear life.

“Hey…” you squeaked, adjusting your glasses.

Rodrick smirked, pushing off the steps. “You think I’m a ghost or something? You walk past here like I don’t exist.”

Your cheeks burned. “I—uh—I didn’t see you.”

“Totally believable.” Rodrick’s smirk grew. “You said you bought a Misa costume, remember? Wig and everything. And also the whole limited edition of the dolls and stuff.”

You blinked, horrified and excited at the same time.“I—I didn’t think you’d remember that.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He tilted his head, hands shoved in his pockets.

“I don't know…”

“Relax. It’s kinda sick, actually.” His gaze flicked over you like he was sizing you up. “You’d look good as Misa.”

“Really?” you jumped, clapping your hands. “I'll dress up like her everyday and I already bought her necklace.”

“You’re so awkward,” he teased, voice softer. “C’mon. What’s the rush? You’re always running past here like I’m gonna bite. Unless…”

You stared at him, unsure if your heart was about to stop or explode. “Unless…?”

“Unless you would like to get bitten by me.”

Your face turned scarlet. “Why…Why do you…?”

Rodrick rolled his eyes, turning back toward the house. “You’re impossible. I was gonna invite you in, but whatever. Get home safe.”

And with that, he disappeared inside, leaving you standing in the street, cheeks flushed, completely stunned. He just landed on the floor, stomping his head on the wall.

“Shit. I wanna see her in that outfit.” He cried out with his cheeks beet-red.

“She's so cool. Did you know she draws like a pro?" Greg cheered, watching you make your steps to your home, still confused.

“yourusername? She gave me pokemon cards for free in her parents store when I told my mother that I loved pokemon! A limited one. Pew peww.” Rowley exclaimed happily, stepping back when Rodrick stood up with a murderous look. “Uh-oh.”

Then he remembered, stopping him from the possible child murder. Only himself knew the cutie clumsy patootie you were, which made him giggle to the ground, curling his hands on the hem of his shirt.

“Ewww.” Greg hissed, frowning.

“I think your brother likes her.” Rowley smiled, walking to Greg's room, who was totally disgusted by the sight of his brother lifting his toe like a little girl.

The next week, someone invited Rodrick to a costume party. Sure, the music was decent, and someone brought a vintage vinyl player, which kept him from leaving immediately. The worst part is that you didn't come. “Socialization fear, Rod. Not my thing”. By midnight, he was leaning against a wall, phone in hand. Grinning when he saw you post you in your Misa outfit.

yourusername: “Dressing as my queen >o<.”

He wasn’t even sure why he posted a photo of himself dressed as L from Death Note. Maybe out of boredom. Maybe because he hoped you’d see it.

rodrickrockslodediper: justice will prevail.

Cheesy as hell. But effectively, you have seen it in a minute.

“God, you look so perfect.”

The message was simple—too simple for you. No silly emojis, no teasing lines. For some reason, that made him pause. And then, before he could talk himself out of it, he did something impulsive: he called you.

The line clicked after just two rings. “What the—Rodrick?”

He smirked at the sound of your flustered voice. “Didn’t think you’d answer so fast.”

“You called me,” you sputtered, nearly knocking over everything on your desk, your glasses almost broke on the floor. “What’s going on?”

“Party’s boring.” His voice was low and smooth, a little breathless. “Some kid thought I was Steve Jobs.”

You burst out laughing. “Oh my god. That’s so tragic.”

“Yeah, laugh it up, Misa Misa.” He hesitated, voice softening just slightly. “I wish you were here.”

Click.

And just like that, his status went offline before you even had time to reply. He stuffed his phone into his pocket, walking away from the party like he’d just dropped a bomb, not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone.

"What the heck was that?!" you exclaimed, staring at your phone like it had grown a second head. Rodrick Heffley called to say he wanted you to be with him? That couldn’t be real.

And yet, the disbelief hit even harder when your doorbell rang. You opened the door, and there he was—smudged eyeliner and messy dark shadow to fake L’s signature tired look. Meanwhile, you were fully dressed as Misa Amane. What even was this situation?

"Good thing I made it before you ditched the cosplay," he said with a lopsided grin, still catching his breath. He had run to your house. Rodrick Heffley, running. For you.

You stood frozen, like a deer caught in headlights. Say something! Come on, say something! your brain screamed.

"Uh… Let’s... let’s go inside, Lawliet. I, uh… I have candy!" you stammered in a sweet tone, fumbling over the words. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Rodrick burst out laughing, loud and unfiltered, before slapping a hand over his mouth, trying to keep it cool. But the faint pink tint on his face gave him away. He couldn’t believe how adorable you looked, trying so hard to pull off Misa.

"What’s so funny?" you mumbled, shifting your weight awkwardly, your face heating up even more.

"Nothing..." he snorted, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as his laughter died down. "Can I come in?"

"I… My parents… They’re, uh, kinda strict about guys being here," you muttered, cringing at how childish you sounded. Why did your parents have to be like this now of all times?

Rodrick clicked his tongue and shrugged. "Oh...Okay." But then he shot you that goofy, lopsided grin again, and you couldn’t help but smile back, even if it was a little shy.

"What?" you asked, giggling softly as you played with a lock of your blonde wig.

He shook his head, made a finger-gun motion with his hand, and turned to leave. But just as he took a step, he paused, spun back around, and said, "You know I like you, right?" His voice was casual, but his eyes told a different story.

"Stop messing with me…" you mumbled, barely above a whisper. Your heart was pounding in your chest. But instead of laughing, he stepped closer, hesitating for a moment before cupping your face gently. His eyes locked with yours, and for a second, the world seemed to stand still.

Then, he leaned in and gave you the softest, quickest kiss on the lips.

"Not messing with you, Misa," he said, dropping into L’s signature monotone. You couldn’t help it—you laughed so hard, your shoulders shook.

"Hey, no fair using my OTP!" you pouted, crossing your arms, but he just smirked and kissed you again.

"I’ll use whatever it takes to get you to notice me, nerd," he teased, his voice warm and playful. Then, with one last grin, he stepped back and turned to leave.

You stood there in the doorway, heart racing, watching Rodrick Heffley walk away like you’d just stepped out of the last scene of a shoujo anime.

[semehands]

yang seungbae… you crazy bastard.

[letterstotheflre]

that’s the thing about illicit affairs

summary: james was never hers to lose.

warnings: CHEATING, age gap (not specified but reader is in her 20s), tiiiny angst?? i don’t think it’s sad lmao, allusions to sex and one miniature sex scene, some food mentions, and a very badly written argument.

word count: 3k (why are they always so long ffs)

a/n: my first james potter fic <3 i love this man so much, sorry for making you the bad guy here. this one’s been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks, and since i’ve been feeling kinda sad i finally got around to edit it. also hedric rights!!

They always meet like this.

The room is dark except for a small sea salt lamp she bought on sale from Target. Her clothes are piling up on the floor, discarded carelessly by her lover, and his are not too far from meeting the same fate.

He is kissing her hungrily as he could never get enough of her. His hands travel all over her back while she unbuttons his shirt, their lips never parting. He moves her to her bed, the sheets a pale green that reminds him of—

No. He closes his eyes tightly, pretends the green is actually blue like the lacy bralette that covers her breasts and moves his lips down to her jaw. He sucks and nips and bites, letting her moans echo freely between the four walls that make their little sanctuary.

Her hands quickly undo his belt and stroke him lightly through the fabric of his boxers. He groans against the junction of her neck, the skin softer than anything he’s touched in years.

He pushes her down on the bed, cupping her face while he looks at her properly, noting the tangled hair caused by his fingers. Her lips are puffy and shiny, his kisses being the perpetrator of their current state. He waits for her to say something, to give him a sign that this is okay.

(It’s not okay, and they both know it. It’ll never be okay.)

She nods her head, and he kneels in front of her, pushing her legs wide open before he dives in.

—

She is laying on her bed, the sheets covering her body as she watches him try to fix up his hair in front of the mirror on her makeshift vanity.

“Make sure no one sees you leave,” she says, “and put—”

“Put my hood up, I know,” he finishes the sentence for her. It’s not the first time they do this dance.

“Sirius and Remus are with Harry at home. I told them I was going for a run, so they won’t say anything if I show up all sweaty,” he adds, trying to fill the awkward silence.

She just nods her head, fingers playing with a loose thread on the edge of the sheet, pulling it a bit more every time she twists her index finger. He steps forward, then sits on her bed and traces her cheekbone with his knuckles. “You know I care about you, right?” he asks.

Her heart clenches, a heavy weight pressing down on her chest that makes it hard to breathe for a second. She lowers her eyes, refusing to stare at those hazel irises that started everything. “I know, James,” she assures quietly, looking at a picture of her and Harry that’s stuck to the wall just behind him.

James brushes back some stray hairs that are still stuck to her forehead, then presses a small kiss on the slightly sweaty skin. He gives her a tentative smile before heading to the door, and she only looks in his direction when she hears the click of the door.

(He might care, but not enough.)

—

Sundays are always a slightly awkward affair at first.

Both of their families have been friends for years, getting together every Sunday for lunch at the Potter’s. James and Sirius always man the grill with her dad, all of them wearing those corny ‘kiss the chef!’ aprons. Her mother helps Lily make the salads in the kitchen while they gossip with Remus, who steals a few tomatoes when they aren’t looking. Now that it’s summer, she and Harry splash each other in the pool instead of catching up in his room.

It’s always strange seeing James in the light of day, pretending that this is the only version of him she knows: the version of him that is a friend, a father, a husband.

But she knows the other version of him: the one that has her on her knees begging for a taste of him, the one that grips her hair while he pounds into her from behind, the one that lets his tongue explore places of her no one else has. The version of him that kisses her forehead and plays with her fingers while their bodies are tangled together under the sheets. The version of him that kisses her as if she were the only one made for him.

(She isn’t.)

They are sitting around the table eating. Sirius is laughing about something with his arm around Remus’s shoulders, his bark of laughter echoing across the garden. Her mother’s shoulders shake as Lily rolls her eyes in amusement. James and her father have gone back to the grill to bring everyone their second round of burgers, and she can hear her father complaining about something from work.

“Here y’go, kid,” says James as he places the plate in front of her before ruffling her hair. She tenses up for a second before relaxing, muttering a small “thank you” before reaching for the ketchup.

She hates that nickname. It’s so impersonal, keeps a distance between them that truly doesn’t exist. As if he isn’t the only person that can make her vision whiten and the colours of her room hazy while she clutches his shoulders. As if he isn’t the only person who can pull so many different sounds from her vocal cords, sounds he knows no one else has ever heard before because he is the only one who can create them.

She can feel Sirius’s eyes on her as she stretches one arm, so she hesitantly glances at him. He raises an eyebrow, eyes switching back and forth between James and her, and she can see the cogs turning in his mind.

She gulps anxiously, dismissing him with a wave of her hand and goes back to eating.

—

James’s moans are loud as he gathers her hair in a makeshift ponytail. His cock is buried in her throat, and he watches as she gags for a second before relaxing her throat.

She’s taking him so deep that her nose nuzzles his pubic hair, the musky scent of James filling her nose as she breathes deeply through it. She starts moving her head up and down, swirling her tongue around the tip every time she rises.

He is a mess above her, needy whines and wanton moans leaving his mouth. His hips thrust up softly, slowly fucking her mouth, and he relishes in the small choking sounds she makes. His head rolls back as he groans, “That’s it, baby, so good to me.”

She winces at the name and pulls away from him. “Don’t call me that,” she mutters, but her hands never stop stroking him. She takes him back into her mouth and starts sucking with a newfound fervour, his voice echoing inside her head as she tries to make him forget about her.

(She tries to forget too.)

—

Honey rays filter through her window.

They are both laying on her bed, James on his stomach while she refills the glasses with some cheap wine she got from the store. He looks at the tiny purple splotches on her neck and the red fingerprints on her hips, then smirks proudly. When she turns, she smiles at him softly.

There’s a summer breeze that ruffles her curtains, and he can hear some teenagers laughing as they walk down the street over the music that plays from her speaker.

She places her glass on her nightstand, her nipples brushing his naked back as she leans over him. She lays down on her side, her fingertips softly drawing shapes on his skin. It takes him a moment to realize they are not random shapes but letters.

Her name, written over his scattered freckles and connecting his moles with cursive loops.

He takes her hand and kisses it, slightly chapped lips pressing against her open palm. Then he kisses her lips, still bitterly sweet with grapes, as his tongue moves languidly against hers while he pulls her by the hand on top of him.

It feels like a distant memory. It feels like a dream.

—

The cacophony of different voices singing “Happy Birthday” rings in her ears.

Harry is at the front of the table, an adorable blush dusting his cheeks at the attention. On either side of him are James and Lily, smiles wide as they watch their son blow the candles. Cedric is behind him, hands on his shoulders, and he leans forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

She sings and claps, whooping with Sirius when Harry blows the last candle. She eats cake and drinks the pretty cocktails Lily ordered. She smiles and laughs, pretends she couldn’t see the way the candles made the golden band on James’s ring finger beam like the sun.

She pretends she doesn’t see the way James holds Lily’s waist before kissing her. She pretends she can’t see them dancing slowly to a song Remus put on the Spotify playlist as a joke.

She pretends she can’t hear his footsteps following her when she goes to the bathroom. She feigns disinterest when he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards a deserted corridor.

But she can’t ignore the butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her, the thrumming in her veins when he pushes one leg between her thighs, nor the pleasure-filled gasps and moans that leave her mouth when he helps her roll her hips along his covered thigh.

It’s thrilling; they’ve never done something like this in public, much less in such proximity to friends and family.

(In such proximity to her.)

Even though she knows it shouldn’t, it gives her a sense of victory. Because he is here with her now: he is kissing her, making her moan, and whispering dirty things in her ear.

A faraway call of his name breaks the spell they’re under. They pull away hastily; she fixes her dress while James makes sure there are no lipstick stains on his face. The footsteps are getting closer, heels hitting the floorboards at the same rhythm as their rapid beating hearts.

It’s Sirius.

James almost breathes a sigh of relief, but she remains tensed up. Sirius looks between them, the same look he had that Sunday all those weeks ago on his face, and she feels bile rising in her throat.

“Lily’s looking for you,” he says, his thumb pointing back over his shoulder towards the reception where everyone’s gathered.

“Right,” says James. “Better go see what she needs. You do not want to see an angry drunk Lily.” He laughs, almost oblivious to the awkward tension between his two friends. He goes back to Lily, leaving her leaning against the wall and Sirius standing in the middle of the hallway.

Sirius looks at her, and even though his mind already knows, he refuses to believe it. “I didn’t know where the bathroom was,” she offers as an explanation. It’s a flimsy excuse, she knows that, but it’s the best she can do under this kind of pressure.

“Right,” he whispers with a short nod, then follows James.

She stays rooted to her spot, lips tingling with the ghost of James touch and a guilty mind.

—

Hours later, she clings to a pillow as she lays on her bed alone. The same pillow James was resting on less than twelve hours ago.

She breathes in deeply, trying to catch any scent of him she can, but there’s only the scent of her fabric softener.

There’s no James. No citrus shampoo or woodsy cologne nor salty air from the beach near his house. Because he never wears any cologne when he comes to her, ensuring that there’s no trace of him once he leaves.

Like he doesn’t even exist.

—

It ends in a parking lot a month later.

She was waiting for Luna to arrive at the mall but ended up asking for a rain check when James texted her, saying they needed to talk.

‘Meet me behind the mall’, she texts him.

She walks to the back of the building and waits for his red car to show up. She already knows where this conversation is going to go, and her heart shatters at the thought of saying goodbye to him.

She raises her head when she hears a honk in front of her, and she gets in while whispering a small “hey”. He doesn’t start the car again, just settles for turning the ignition key off. She looks at the families leaving the mall through the tinted window, refusing to look at him, as her knee bounces up and down anxiously.

The silence is heavy, and she suddenly feels cold in the August heat.

James takes a deep breath, “We can’t keep doing this.”

She can’t help the snarky comment. “That’s not what you were saying yesterday while you had your fingers buried inside me.” He looks at her unimpressed, and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s wrong,” he says— as if she doesn’t already know that. “C’mon, baby, don’t make this harder than it has to—”

“I told you not to call me that!” she raises her voice, and the car gets silent again. She hates the tears that gather in her eyes, hates that she cares so much about him and their stupid game, but she couldn’t help it. Not when he whispered so many sweet nothings in her ears and caressed her skin so softly, almost afraid to break him if he was too rough.

(Not that he cared about that when he stretched her wide open and thrust so hard into her that the bed frame banged against the wall.)

“You can’t just show up here and tell me it’s over like you weren’t the one that came to me first,” she jeers, and she can see the tick of his jaw as he clenches it. Good, she thinks, make him angry.

“Don’t just blame me. You didn’t say ‘no’ once.” He grounds out, “In fact, I can recall you were begging me to fuck you against the wall.”

Her cheeks turn into a small fire, a slight feeling of shame overcoming her. “Oh, like you were any better!” she exclaims. “‘Been thinking about you for months.’ ‘You have no idea the things you do to me.’ ‘No one can suck my cock like you.’ ‘I care about you!’” She deepens her voice to mock him.

James opens his mouth to keep the ball rolling, and she wants him to do it because it meant that the fight was still on, that they wouldn’t have to end this. Instead, he takes a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m telling you now it’s over. Stop acting like a kid who didn’t get her Christmas present,” he says, knowing exactly what he is doing with those words.

“I’m not a kid,” she snaps, her eyes fighting back angry teats at his dismissal. “Then stop acting like one,” he shrugs.

Her hands turn into fists, nails digging themselves into her palms as she tries to keep her anger at bay. “Do you know how much of myself I gave to you? How many plans with my friends have I cancelled in case you called? How many guys I stopped seeing because they weren’t you?” she rants, her voice increasing in volume as she lets her frustration take over. Then, she pauses. “You’ve ruined me, James.”

Her voice is so pained that it makes his heart clench, and he lowers his head, refusing to look at her. He knows, God, he knows what he’s done, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so lonely with Lily spending so much time at the hospital, and then there she was with her caring and understanding nature. With her adorable laughs and those touches that were so addictive, a mercurial high that gave him the lowest lows whenever he tried to stop.

He keeps his mouth shut; there’s nothing left to say anyway, and it’s better for her to hate him rather than anything else. “You are not going to say anything?” It’s meek, vulnerable, and she wants to slap herself for acting this way. She knew it would never last, that he would always choose her.

He was never hers to lose, so why is she still fighting?

She nods her head in surrender, biting her lip to stop herself from sobbing. The anger now gave way to sadness, “I can’t believe I let you make a fool of me.” Her voice is hoarse, a result of the lump in her throat that prevents her from swallowing comfortably.

She gets out of the car and slams the door shut, then leaves the parking lot, leaving him behind. She keeps walking, fingers gripping the straps of her bag until she reaches an empty street.

The golden sun is ready to dip on the horizon, and she can hear James’s car speeding behind her.

—

She doesn’t let the tears fall until she’s inside her apartment.

The moment she closed the door, she crumbled to her knees, loud sobs falling from her mouth and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. It takes her a moment to gather enough strength to walk to her room.

She cries and cries, buries her face in her pillows and starts sobbing even harder because she can smell him. The salty scent and citrus shampoo finally embedded themselves in the fabric, and she can’t believe that after all those days she craved to feel him close to her, he chooses now to leave a trace behind.

She cries for hours until her eyes are puffy and red, and snot comes out of her nose. Her chest heaves with short breaths that don’t really fill her lungs as she clings to that damn pillow before throwing it across the room. She can’t believe it ended like this: with her completely broken for anyone else while James gets to go back to his life and act like nothing ever happened.

Yet she knows that if she had to choose, she would do it all over again because if she had to choose someone to be her ruination, she would choose James Potter a million times.

TAGLIST: @emmaev @gxtitobxby @ildm4ev @capsmischief @arisblackhole @dracosafety @dracoxgeorge @tonystarksmutgarden @blowing-mikey @roonilwazlibswhore @lovelylupinx @sarcasmismyon1ydefence @marxy-06 @glossiable @remusjlupinisdead @amixedwitch @mattefic @artisancowbells @zzzfour — if you want to be added tap here

[migilini]

Not So Secret Anymore - Charlie Gillespie

summary: It’s hard to hide a relationship from the public, particually when both work on the same show.

words: 2.5k

warnings: fluff

a/n: not my fave but i still somehow like it.

Requests are open :)

MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------------

September

"When do we have our first interview?" you asked the boy whose head was in your lap. He looked up from his phone and your eyes locked with his green ones "Hmm, my calendar says in about 30 minutes."

You groaned at that and stopped playing with Charlie's hair which earned you a grunt and whine from him. "Sorry babe but I think I have to go, so I still have time to get ready and set up." You muttered and gave him a small kiss on his brown hair.

"Uhh fine." The weight lifted from your legs, you stood up and before you knew it you were thrown over his shoulder. Laughing, you slapped his butt and back repeatedly. "Babe! I mean it" you tried to press out between giggles, "we both decided to keep us a secret." He sat you down on the kitchen isle and cornered your body in between his arms, standing right in front of you, you're back hitting the kitchen cabinet.

"I know... come back later?" he asked and tilted his head, looking at you with big puppy eyes. "You know it." After a swift kiss, or rather a little make out session, you were on your way back to your own appartement. Just in time to change your top and put on a lip-gloss before opening your laptop and joining the interview.

"Hello everybody! I'm here with the cast of Netflix' Julie and the Phantoms that came out on Thursday. How are you guys?" the interviewer asked and smiled into the camera of his laptop. The whole cast chirped in with a good, great, or amazing.

"That's fantastic!" he clapped his hands "Now, Jeremy, how would you describe your Character and the show in general?"

"It's a show about ghosts from 1995 who come back 25 years later and join a band with Julie who didn't sing a note after her mother died. Reggie, the character that I play, is one of those ghosts and he is a loveable himbo. Did I use that word correctly Maddie?"

Maddie smiled and the interviewer changed the topic "Madison and y/n, birds have told me that this was your first ever acting job is that right?"

You nodded and signaled Maddie to speak first "Yes, and it was both amazing and traumatizing! I was so nervous, but the crew really helped to calm me down, especially y/n who just was in the same position as me, so we freaked out together most of the time." She smiled and the interviewer waited for you to answer. "Except, Maddie had a least some acting training at school, that's why she is the best. I more or less walked into the whole situation." You said laughing.

"I love this story." Jeremy exclaimed, making you slightly blush at his words.

"Would you be so kind and tell us?" the interviewer questioned and smiled at your little nod.

"Yes, yes of course. Well, I was on vacation with one of my good friends from back home..."

"She means Germany." Owen interrupted with a smile on his lips. "Yes, Owen. Thank you for adding important details. Anyways, we saw that there was an Open Audition nearby and though why not? We don't have anything to lose or to do on that particular day. And here I am, my friend sadly didn't get in."

"That really is an amazing story, I can see why Jeremy likes it so much. So, Charlie how would you describe y/n's and Luke's characters, she wasn't supposed to be in the script and was later added in right?" Charlie quirked up at the mention of your name and stated proudly. "Indeed, she impressed Kenny so much that he wrote a character just for her. He thought that Sunset Curve, the band name before we died, needed a female to handle their chaos or well... at least tries to. Y/N plays Allie, who against common speculation isn't any of the boys' love interest which is a very nice turn of events. She and Luke bud head a lot because Luke only thinks about music and the band and she tries hard to make him take breaks every now and then." 

A lovesick smile sat on your face while you listened to your boyfriend of nearly a year, once you realized your expression you quickly shook it off. Hiding this relationship was definitely going to be harder than expected.

The Interviewer asked some more questions before the last and dreaded question was thrown your way. "So, most of your fans are wondering if any of you guys are in a relationship." You and Charlie had discussed a million times before what you guys would say in such a moment, the two of you shared a look.

Jeremy's eyes switched from Charlie's box on his screen to y/n's before answering "I have a lovely wife! The rest of us are happily single, right guys?"

"100%" Maddie added, while Owen only shrugged, his dog conveniently jumping into his lap.

"How about the other two?" he eyed up the last remaining.

"Very single" Charlie laughed, and you agreed "Totally."

As time went on it was harder and harder for the two of you to hide the relationship, as you two spent nearly every day together and therefore did the same activities. Particularly after your social media accounts have gained over a million followers and people started to ship actors and tv show characters. But you two loved the little secret bubble you've created, there was no pressure to take good pictures together, or to post stories, to be asked a thousand questions about your relationship and no hate towards any of you.

December

It has been 4 months since the show released and the hype it got definitely was way more than you ever expected. It blew your mind. Currently, you are on Charlie and yours one-year anniversary / Christmas / good deeds vacation. Charlie and you found a good mix, that made you both happy, between chilling and doing adventurous things.

It was Christmas eve and Maddie wanted to do a 'guess the song Christmas Edition' with the main cast. Eagerly you agreed and hurried from the beach, where Charlie currently took the quiz at the bar you both sat on just minutes before, to your shared bedroom. You shot Maddie a quick text that you were 'out of the relationship zone' and ready when she was ready.

"Helloooo. How did the others do?"

"Not the worst but I still have faith in you to win this. ARE YOU READY?" she screamed the last part.

“I’m going to read you the lyrics of a christmas song and you have to guess the next line. There are certain cards that give one point and others give two. Whoever has the most points at the end…”

“Hopefully get your earrings” you asked with a sly smile and your shoulders raised.

Maddie laughed but shook her head “Sadly, no. I haven't figured out the price yet, but I for sure will! I like your backdrop by the way.” she added and you quickly looked behind you. You sat crisscrossed on the hotel room floor, you used the coffee table and a water bottle as a phonestand and used a white checkered wall as a background to try and hide the fact that you didn't sit in your living room.

January

“This should be the last box.” you cheered into the empty hall and shut the front door with a light push from your hip. Charlie popped his head out of the bedroom and walked over to, dropping his head on your shoulder in exhaustion. Nothing was set up, boxes stood randomly all over the apartment, the fridge stood there still empty and a lonely mattress covered the bedroom floor.

“The walls look a bit bare don't you think?” you said about a week later, standing in the middle of the now a bit furnished living room. Strong arms sneaked their way around your waist and a head dropped on your shoulder.

“Hmm… you're right. What do you have in mind?” Charlie said and turned you around so you were facing him. He smiled at the spark in your eyes “I was thinking, a yellow akzent wall with random secondhand pictures and some pictures of us, all in frames of course. So it's gonna have this homey and creative atmosphere.” You rambled on for a while longer, telling him where you think his instruments could go, the pillows you saw online and thought they worked perfect with the colour of the couch. Charlie just stared at you, a dumb smile on his lips with his arms around you.

“Do you not like it?” you noticed that he hasn't talked for a while and got worried. “I love it. We could live in a dumpster for all I care, as long as I have you by my side.” You fake gaged at his romantic words and gave him a kiss.

The first time people got really suspicious was the time you accidentally walked in on a live he had on Instagram. He sat in front of his instruments, phone propped up before him. You thought that he was already finished but you were wrong.

“Do you think this…” you walked into the room, a shirt in your hand that you just took out of the dryer and lost your words the moment you saw him sitting in front of his phone. He looked at you with wide eyes, his brain clearly searching for a good excuse. 

“Is that y/n?” he read outloud from the chat, gesturing you do sit next to him. “Yes it's her! We’re hanging out and she helped me with my washing because I somehow still don't know how to do it.” he laughed nervously, his hand grabbing yours out of the frame.

“He promised me food and I live really close by, so I thought I'll help this poor man out.”

May

Looking back at this moment now, you and Charlie weren't sure why you just didn't come clean. You didn't mean to hide the relationship this long, it just kinda happened and at one point it just got too awkward to tell. It was fairly easy to hide most of the time, you didn't most that much on instagram and Charlie only showed parts of his daily life.

The easiest was the time you filmed JATP Season 2. You were expected to hang out and live together. Back in 2019 you already lived with Owen and Charlie. This time poor Owen had to live with a couple instead of just two friends. (You were already dating for a while back then but didn't tell the cast, to not make a fuss.)

It wasn't like the fans didn't suspect a thing, especially after Owen posted a video of you two fooling around. 

Everybody sat outside, enjoying the everwarming sun on their skin. Half of the cast was already in costume just waiting for the break to end. In typical Allie (your character) fashion you wore an overall with a tight tank top underneath, your makeup stood out from the others with the heavy blush, freckles and black eyeliner. 

Charlie, in his Luke wardrobe, thought that it was funny to stand in front of you to shield you from the sun.

"Stop that" you whined and tried to shove him away, which was harder than you thought considering he stood before you and you sat on a bench.

"Make me." He flirted and stood even wider before you, puffing out his chest. Raising an unimpressed eyebrow, you stole his beany with a swift motion. His expresion quickly changed from cocky to shocked, snickering was heard from Maddie who was used to this type of behaviour.

"Ups… heavy wind blows in the shadows." You explained nonchalantly and pulled the beany on your head, sticking your tongue out at your boyfriend.

"Oh it's on my lady" he growled "I'm giving you a three second advantage. One…" your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up. "Two…" you got up and scanned the place internally making a good running line. "Th-.." you began sprinting across the lot. You heard the laughing from your castmates behind you as you and Charlie ran in circles. 

Unfortunately, he was still fitter and faster than you and about a minute into the running he had you thrown over his shoulder.

"Surrender!" he screamed as you tried to wiggle out of his grip.

"Never!" You screamed back and wiggled even harder.

"Surrender or i'll have to tickle you" he warned and those were the last words Owen was able to film before a producer yelled that the break was finished.

February

“Baby, if I would believe this News Article, you have a secret girlfriend, but it's not me.” you showed him your phone screen.

“I’m not cheating on you. I would never, i'd die rather than…” his frantic expression made you snort. “I know. Oh my god! People saw you with Lia.” you held his hands comfortably.

“Lia as in your best friend Lia?”

“The one and only. People noticed the hickeys... At least they’re getting closer now. So are we still on for the masterplan? You by instruments and I'm gonna sit in the bedroom?" He nodded and smiled at the sight of your equally plastered neck. 

Eventually, before you even were able to execute the as you'd like to say 'masterplan' your relationship got outed. I mean it was time, the two of you getting lazier with the hiding as time went by. 

Fans noticed that you wore a lot of Charlie's things and that you and him always seemed to be at the same place at the same time. It was actually one of your lives that spilled the secret. 

"That's a really nice akzent wall" you read outloud from the chat "oh thank you! It was a long process to get all the pictures but it was actually Charlie's idea to not only have pictures but also plane tickets, date memories and so on hung up on that wall. It really makes it homey. I think to get that wall this crowded it took us...what? About well since we moved in…" you didn't even realise what you said you just babbled and then it was out.

"Charlie actually is home! I could call him. Babe! Come here for a sec- oh my god!" Your hands flew up to your mouth in realizion. 

From that moment on you were public and your social media exploded once again. However the two of you were happy to finally show each other off.

[reki-of-the-valley]

More bullet point fanfic by yours truly! - First kiss edition

I woke up at 4 am thinking of this and it's been stuck in my brain ever since. Watch me eventually write it as a whole ass fic

It's the weekend, a slow, hot day. Reki and Langa are in Reki's room, as usual, watching a mix between skating videos and dumb videos that make them laugh (and the occasional cute animal video they will inevitably come across). It's a slow, relaxing day, nothing out of the ordinary for them, except that they can't go out because it's just *too* hot

Langa's got his chin on Reki's shoulder, his eyes falling shut every so often. The heat makes him sluggish, but he refuses to go home where it's cooler or take a nap to sleep the heat away. He's adamant to continue watching what's playing on Reki's phone, even if the light is tiring his eyes

And Reki doesn't mind. He's never minded having Langa close, basically cuddled into his side. Reki likes it, actually. He likes having Langa close. He likes feeling Langa pressed into him, Langa's chin digging into his shoulder, Langa's hair tickling his cheek, Langa's bony elbow pressed into his side. Obviously it's because Reki is used to having people in his personal space. The twins when they cling to his leg, his mother when she hugs him, Koyomi when she's poking him.

So Reki doesn't mind having Langa close, falling asleep on his shoulder. At least, not until Langa is shifting, nose pressing against Reki's neck, the soft skin where no one ever touches him. And his warm breath is heating up Reki's face for a reason he can't tell. Or maybe he can, when Langa is mumble-asking if he can kiss Reki

Langa doesn't mean it. He can't mean it. Langa always mumbles out nonsense when he's half asleep. So Reki laughs it off awkwardly.

Except Langa's nuzzling closer, "please, Reki? Can I, please?"

Reki doesn't trust his voice, knowing it'll come out as a squeak, so he just nods. He has no idea what Langa is going to do, or what kind of kiss he wants, but Reki wants whatever it is, which is weird. Kissing the homies good night was just a saying, not an actual thing, right?

But when Langa's pressing a kiss to his cheek, everything fades away. It doesn't feel weird or wrong or anything. It actually feels nice. Reki likes it. Even if it's just a quick peck, Reki likes it. A lot.

Everything fades, everything goes hazy. Maybe it's from the heat, maybe it's from something else, but Reki's shifting, turning to Langa, Langa with his heavy lidded eyes, Langa with his pretty smile. Maybe it's the heat, maybe that's what's fogging Reki's everything, but something happens. Something happens for Langa to be kissing him, or maybe he's the one kissing Langa; he can't tell who started it. But they're kissing. And Reki feels like he's floating.

Reki is the first to pull away, gasping for air, but langa's chasing his mouth and Reki can't say no to that.

It's not Reki's first kiss - he had kissed a girl on a dare in 6th grade during one of those middle school parties - but it is the first time he was feeling someone's tongue against his lips. It is the first time he was gripping onto someone's shirt to hold them close as the kiss was deepened. It is the first time he was kissing a boy. And he.... Reki likes it. He likes kissing Langa.

When Langa finally pulls back, they're both flushed and panting. Maybe they had gotten a little carried away, but Reki doesn't care. He can't care, not when everything feels blissfully light

At least everything feels nice until Langa's eyes are blown wide open, scrambling to pick his stuff up, shoving them into his bag.

"shit, shit, fuck, I promises my mom I'd be home before dinner. Fuck, she's gonna be pissed. I'm so fucked-!"

And he's dashing off, Reki not even getting a chance to put in a single word. Something twists inside of Reki. Maybe Langa regretted kissing him, maybe that's why he was running away now. Maybe Langa didn't like it as much as Reki did.

They don't talk about the kiss(es). No one brings it up. Reki's too afraid to bring it up and Langa is acting like it never happened. They're both desperately trying to go back to how things were before, but Reki jumps every time Langa's hand brushes against his and Langa isn't leaning in as close as before when they watch videos during lunch at school. It's not horrible, but Reki can feel the tension, which can only mean one thing: Langa hated the kiss.

This goes on for a few days, the awkward no touching but still wanting to. It calms down a bit after a few days. Reki's a little less jumpy, Langa is starting to lean back in (not as much as before, but still always a little closer). They can sit shoulder to shoulder now, not quite touching yet, but getting there. That's how Reki finds himself staring at Langa, watching him eat, looking at his mouth. His mouth that had been pressed to Reki's only a few days ago. His lips so soft despite being chewed at on the daily.

Reki can't blame his actions on the heat this time. He can't blame anything or anyone except himself as he presses a quick kiss to the corner of Langa's mouth. He tries deflecting, finding excuses ("you had something and-!") but it's useless. There's nothing that can excuse his behavior

But Langa simply let's his head fall onto Reki's shoulder. He's not pushing Reki away. He's not telling him that it was wrong of him to do that. None of that.

"M'tired..." "It's the heat, dude" "wanna sleep" "wanna ditch and head back to your place? It's way cooler there" "only if you come"

Reki short circuits as soon as Langa's fingers are twisting with his, tracing the lines in his palm, not letting go.

"can we go? Not like we're actually going to listen to anything, even if we go back"

That's how Reki finds himself pulling Langa up, walking by his side until they're out in the yard and skating off towards Langa's place. That's how he finds himself coming to a halt in front of the apartment he's been in only a handful of times. They always go to his place, crashing in his room. They rarely ever go by the apartment.

Reki watches as Langa unlocks the door, kicking his shoes off as he set his board against the wall. And he follows his lead, though a little more careful, untying his shoes and setting them in a corner with his own board. It's a lot colder in here than it is in his room. The AC must be put to it's lowest.

"you want something? I think my mom bought cookies yesterday"

Reki watches as Langa pulls out more food - they just finished lunch, but Langa is a monster when it comes to snacks, no matter what time it is - before crashing into the couch. Reki follows, like a puppy. He isn't uncomfortable, but still. The environment feels new and he isn't sure how comfortable he should make himself

That is until he's sitting on the couch and Langa is putting his head on Reki's lap, a cookie in his mouth as his bright blue eyes are staring up at Reki. Blue like a clear sky, sun blazing down over the ocean

"I'm sorry," Langa says, holding up his half eaten cookie. "about the other day, I mean. I shouldn't have done that" "I'm sorry too. About- about earlier? It was dumb"

There's a beat of silence. Then Langa is shifting again, sitting up

"Look, Reki, I- I like you and I get it if you dont-!" "Really dude? Like, like like me?" Langa nods, though looking a little confused. "You can do that?" "Reki, you... You do know I'm gay, right?"

Reki did not know that. And when Reki is caught off guard, he acts dumb. That's why he's blurting out "you're gay???"

Langa's still staring at him in disbelief. "yes? I thought it was obvious?"

Apparently not enough for Reki to get the hint. "Oh my god. You like me. You like me. You actually like me."

"Look, you don't have to-" "I like you too! I mean," Reki rubs at his nose, laughing nervously, "i gotta, right? Since I kinda really wanna kiss you again?" "You do?"

And they're both laughing at each other, Langa's face buried in Reki's shoulder. Reki can feel the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, though he isn't sure if it's from the laughing or from how happy he is

Then Langa's shifting against him once again, look up at Reki with his beautiful blue eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

Reki doesn't answer him, only pressing their mouths together. Because of course Langa can kiss him. He's been thinking about it ever since it first happened

The kisses are slower this time. They're not rushed, not as needy. They take their time exploring each other, feeling what's comfortable, what feels good. It's new, the kissing, and they will have to find how to do it properly. But for the most part, there's more smiling than there is kissing

"Reki?" Reki hums against Langa's lips, not quite ready to pull back completely. "Reki, what does this make us? Does this make us boyfriends?"

The realization hits like a truck. He could be Langa's boyfriend. Never in a million years did Reki think that would happen

"yes? I think? I mean, I want to" "does that mean we aren't best friends anymore?"

Langa's eyes and big and wide and worried. He knows he shouldn't laugh, but Reki can't help it. He can't help but laugh, pressing a kiss Langa's cheek

"no, were still best friends, man. Nothing can change that. And I mean," Reki ducks his head, rubbing at his nose, "it's like what they say in all those Hollywood movies. You know, the cheesy romcoms? In those speeches when the main characters get married? That they're marrying their best friend? Not that were getting married! I didn't mean us-!"

Langa's kisses only got sweeter with time. A quick peck cutting Reki off before he fell into a panicked ramble. "I get what you mean. I just... I don't want to lose you. You're the only best friend I've ever had." "What about boyfriend?" "You'll be the last one."

Reki is satisfied with that. He's more than satisfied as Langa is pressing another kiss to his face, then to his mouth. How long had he wanted this? Reki has no idea, but now that he's got it, now that he's got Langa, he's happy.

[babyflossy]

eccedentesiast (n)

eccedentesiast (n)  someone who hides pain behind a smile

pairing; bodyguard!haechan x reader

summary; haechan is nothing more than someone employed to keep you safe. at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. but why is it so hard to just see him as that?

genre/warnings; bodyguard au, angst (?), fluff, violence, a poisoning, half-edited, also i'm sorry that hyunjin is always my go to for another male lead lmao my skz bias is showing

word count; 7k baby

a/n; after nearly 3 months of writer’s block, i humbly offer you body guard haechan. i’m sorry if it sucks, i’m kinda rusty to get back into writing. any feedback is greatly appreciated!

it’s sunny outside, the golden morning rays of sunlight filtering through the blinds and onto your face. they warm the skin they manage to reach and you bask in the calmness, wrapped in soft bedsheets and silk bedclothes. if you squint into the light you can see the dust particles float around the beams, slowly swimming through around the window frame. the first noise you hear is a bird singing softly outside and a thought in the back of your mind reminds you it’s almost too peaceful. there must be a meeting going on downstairs, one you’re not trusted to appear at.

a knock on your door brings you back to reality and a sigh claws its way up your throat. your father’s personal assistant, sasha, pokes her head around the door and smiles slightly at your bed hair and the mismatched socks poking out the bottom of your duvet. “your father wants you downstairs in five minutes.”

“and what if i don’t?” in an attempt at appearing nonchalant you fix your gaze on the dying plant on your windowsill, refusing to meet her eyes.

“there’s someone you need to meet,” sasha says, piquing your interest and you give up on trying to defy your father’s wishes in favour of your curiosity. “so be down in five minutes, okay?”

the door clicks shut quietly and you check the time on your phone. 10:49am.

finally letting your sigh out and pushing your covers off your cold body, you reach for the first garment of clothing you spot. it’s a purple hoodie you stole from one of your exes and you pull it over your head with a strange sense on loneliness. how long had it been since you had contacted your college friends?

right before you leave the safe confines of your bedroom, a voice floats from the kitchen, one you don’t recognise. it strikes another wave of curiosity through you, this time accompanied by something akin to excitement. the hardwood floors of the hallway are slippery under your socks and you hurry down the stairs to the source of your interest.

whoever you had been expecting, none of them come close to the boy stood next to your dining table. a warm mop of hair sits on top of high cheekbones and tanned skin. the air leaves your lungs momentarily when his eyes meet yours, dark and calculating. you expect him to offer you a polite smile as most of your father’s business partners do, but his face remains in a stern mask. in would be unsettling if you had met in any other circumstances, you’re sure.

“y/n,” the voice of your father forces you to switch your gaze to him and you shoot him a questioning look. it holds no warmth, only looking for answers. “this is haechan,” the boy nods slightly in your direction at the mention of his name, “he’s your new bodyguard.”

you can’t help but let your eyebrows raise comically. that was probably the last thing you were expecting this morning. sure, there had been bodyguards in your past, but none of them stayed very long and you thought your parents had given up on finding one. “bodyguard?” there’s almost a mocking tone to your words and you like the way it makes your father sigh. “i thought you gave up after the last one.”

in the corner of your eyes, you see haechan’s brows quirk the slightest amount in what you think could be amusement. clearly, he has a lot to learn if he thinks he’ll last long.

“there’ve been some rather,” haechan focuses on your dad again as he starts speaking and your glad for the break from his eye contact. “unpleasant things being said about our family at the moment, and we think it’s best to keep an eye on you. so don’t do anything stupid.”

ah, you think, so that’s what he’s doing. this isn’t just to keep you safe, this is a way for your parents to monitor what you do and who you see, a glorified babysitter. that fact doesn’t sit well with you and you make a mental promise to make this as hard as possible for your new caretaker.

with a spark in your eyes you nod at your father and muster up the sweetest smile you can. “of course, father. anything for you.” the change in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed and he sends you a challenging glare which you choose to ignore, instead opting to smile at the taller boy and escape back up to your bedroom.

*

for the rest of the morning, haechan stands guard outside your bedroom door. as you had fled the thick atmosphere in the kitchen he'd followed behind with quick steps and he wasn't happy at being banished to the hallway. you weren't entirely sure what danger he thought would be lurking around your house at midday on a sunday, but he was on edge regardless.

finally free once again from the eyes of your steadily increasing number of babysitters, you let yourself fall onto your bed.

your own father doesn't trust you enough to live your life without the constant supervision of someone he decides is more credible than you. it hurts. it always does whenever he fails to conceal the way his job is more important than you are to him, his own daughter.

it hurts but you can't let it show. there's something powerful about appearing indifferent to things that are supposed to affect you, but maybe that's just founded on years of your parents missing important milestones. your first dance recital, your first win at a science fair, the first day of high school, the moment you found out about your college scholarship. none of it mattered to them, because nothing you ever did matters to them.

maybe this was an opportunity. an opportunity to get them to care about something more than their questionable business deals.

with a new mindset, you pull yourself away from the plush sheets and change into something other than a hoodie and fluffy socks.

"where are we going?" it's technically the first time you've actually heard haechan say anything to you, and his voice is surprisingly smooth. it's honey-like and velvety and way too appealing to listen to.

"shopping." it's stupid, but as you pass him you can't help but try and speed up, pathetically trying to outwalk him on your way to the garage. there's the distinctive sound of a hushed laugh behind you and the sound catches you off guard for a second. why do you like it so much?

a personal chauffeur drives you and haechan sat in the front seat leaving you alone in the back. the air is still and the silence is almost painful. you type away on your phone just to distract yourself from the fact you don't think you've ever been this quiet for this long before. haechan doesn't seem to notice the awkward tension in the car, however, and busies himself glaring at every car that passes.

for a sunday, the mall is busy and you find yourself stealthily dodging people who get in your way. haechan draws some stares as he follows close behind you, must less scared about bumping into people than you are. it's understandable– the all black get-up he's wearing makes him look a lot more menacing than he did in your family kitchen. along with his height and his inability to break eye contact first, it's quite a scary mix.

after a few minutes of walking in silence, you decide to at least try and make conversation. the one sentence he's said to you doesn't seem like enough for people set to spend all day every day together.

"how long have you been doing this?" the attempt is weak, but haechan seems surprised you've said anything to him. the focus of his stare switches to you and you suddenly feel small under it.

"long enough." before you can ask anything else, the surroundings have once again captured his attention and anything you say is drowned out by the indecipherable chatter around you. the scrutiny he puts everything around him under just from his gaze is admirable, and for a bodyguard, he certainly does tick all the boxes.

you're barely able to contain your sigh as you decide to take a different approach to gain his attention.

the first few shops you drag him into are innocent trips to buy clothes; there's a party you've been invited to in a few months and you have yet to find a suitable outfit. every attempt you make is ignored skillfully, every dress, skirt and pair of short shorts you hold up he pays no attention to.

when you've finally had enough, you spot a lingerie store with a wicked sense of delight.

"you can wait outside for this one," you tease with a smirk and an airy wave. at first, you're sure he's about to protest until he sees what shop you're leading him into and complies, stopping by the entrance to the store. as if to rub it in more, you taunt him once more. "unless you're curious what i wear underneath my clothes?" as you turn to head inside, you swear you see the faintest taint of pink over his tanned cheeks.

*

over the next few weeks, haechan seems to understand why none of your previous bodyguards have lasted long. it's also clear to him you'll do almost anything just to piss off your father, anything to get a reaction from him. in a way he feels sorry for you, having to go to such extremes for attention only to be shouted at by the one person who should care about you the most.

haechan has also learned to not mention your mother at all in any conversation where she's not present, as it without fail turns whatever mood you're in into a worse one. that's a whole other issue he doesn't want to rush into, however, and usually lets you do whatever you want.

after the first week, you'd finally started warming up to the idea of having him around you all the time. as much as you hated to admit, it was quite nice to have someone around whose primary role was to care about you.

it had been a long day, and it vaguely concerns haechan when you rush into your bedroom faster than usual, letting the door slam shut with a bang.

he doesn't hear anything else from you until after night has fallen and crying seeps into the hallway.

on instinct, it fills him with an anxious sort of unease and he knocks on your door. in the silence of the hallway, it's clear you're surprised to be disturbed as you stop sniffling for a second before opening the door slightly.

"are you okay?" you hear something in his voice that you haven't before; concern. every time haechan's shown worry or apprehension so far it's been in response to your surroundings, to the people around you. hearing such blatant worry for nothing other than your mental wellbeing only makes the tears fall faster and he doesn't know what to do.

all of his previous clients have been strictly physical protection, nothing similar to the struggles that are currently troubling you. with no clue what else to do, he slips in through the small crack in your door and envelopes his arms around you. the action is unexpected and you tense in surprise before melting into his embrace.

after a few minutes stood by the door, you let him pull you back to your bed, sitting against the headboard so you can rest your head in his lap. his fingers scrape gently through over your scalp and you can feel yourself being pulled into sleep.

a nagging thought in the back of your mind reminds you this is haechan, your bodyguard. nothing more, nothing less, just someone your father employed to keep you safe. in your fragile mental state, you decide to let yourself ignore that one night and let someone care for you.

in the morning, neither of mention the events that transpired the night before. you'd woken up to an empty bed, something you were eternally grateful for as you don't think you handle seeing him again so soon. the morning seems to drag on and you take your time getting ready as a distraction.

haechan had seen you in your most vulnerable state, and even though you hadn't told him the reason for your breakdown, you were sure he could probably guess. it seemed every day you and your father would fight about more insignificant things. it pained him to watch, but it wasn't his place to say anything.

when you finally emerge from your bedroom, haechan meets your eyes and offers you a fleeting smile before his features settle into their familiar glare.

life goes on, you suppose.

*

a rare type of excitement pumps through you as you stare at haechan through the mirror of your dressing table. recently he'd been spending more time sat in your bedroom than stood outside it. it was a nice change, and you felt less alone when you sit to do homework into the early hours of the morning.

currently, he flips through a book he'd picked off your desk and he frowns at it in confusion. "you understand this?" he mumbles as he stares at the words on the page.

with a laugh, you realise he's reading your intro to classical mechanics textbook and stand to take it from his hands. "that's up for debate."

he watches you push yourself onto your tiptoes to put it back on the top shelf and averts his gaze when the dress you're wearing rides up your thighs. it was ridiculous how you'd convinced him to take you to this stupid college party he was sure wouldn't end well, but here is he. "are you nearly ready? you said it starts at eight?"

you choke down another laugh as you stare at the clock, "haechan," you start with a smirk, "i have to be fashionably late. it's part of my brand."

"your what?"

"my brand," at his still confused expression, you turn back around from the mirror to face him again, "i have an image to keep up."

"whatever you say, princess." the new name catches you off guard and you feel your stomach flip. careful to keep your expression neutral, you stand and grab your bag, suddenly wanting to be anywhere other than a confined space with haechan.

a party, as it turns out, is exactly what you need.

the moment your feet cross over the doorframe, you can feel your worries slip away, replaced by the hum of the music. quickly, you spot some of your friends from college and make your way over, a cup already being handed to you. a few people stare as you walk in, something you're used to, but today they stare for longer than usual and it takes a moment to realise they're staring at haechan.

as always, he's dressed in all black, only he's swapped his combat boots and tactical jacket for black sneakers and hoodie. for a college party, he looks too well dressed, but it's appreciated by many as he walks through the room.

it's clear to you he's unused to this type of attention and you grab his hand to pull him to where you and your friends stand. he shoots you a look before, as usual, starting to survey the people around.

"is this your boyfriend?" a short girl from your business class asks, you think her name is lily–or maybe laila. haechan doesn't hear and you're grateful as you shake your head and explain he's your bodyguard. she raises her eyebrows and scans his profile again. the action irks something inside you that you desperately push down. "is he single then?"

the emotion that shoots through you is so obviously jealously and yet you try and remain nonchalant, laughing it off and acting like you didn't want her to be swallowed by the ground. haechan's there for you, not for anyone else, and you want her to know that.

after flitting around the room talking to different people you know, some who you meet for the first time, you can feel the drinks start to take their toll. whoever decided a bottomless bar was a good idea for a party like this was horrendously wrong, and your head spins whilst a boy talks to you about an apprenticeship he's been offered.

"of course, i don't need the money, that's not why i'm doing it." haechan doesn't fail to conceal his surprise, eyebrows raising as he eyes you over the rim of your glass. you send back a look that you hope says he's an asshole, but in your state, you can't be sure how well you've achieved it. "i'm doing it for the experience." when it's appropriate, you nod along to what he's saying but it obvious you don't care and he leaves for someone else soon after.

"what's his problem?" haechan murmurs into your ear. you have to suppress a shiver at the proximity and shrug as you don't trust your voice.

"hyunjin, hey!" you shout when you spot a familiar face in the see of people, shooting through throngs of people to the tall boy. somewhere along the way to the bar, haechan loses sight of you, craning his neck to try and find the direction you escaped to.

hyunjin’s smile is wide and you fail to notice the pleased sweep of his eyes over your exposed chest. as you speak, he slowly moves closer to you, his breath hitting your neck and making you squirm. suddenly the music seems louder, he seems closer and you try to escape his grip when his hands settle on your waist.

you try to move away but you feel your head spin harshly and you have to catch the edge of the bar to stop yourself falling into him.

"you drunk enough." a familiar hand reaches to snatch the martini out of your hand, a frown taking over his soft features.

despite the displeasure on his face, you’re grateful to see him. he recognises the relief in the  sigh you let out, and eyes  you with concern. just as he’s about to ask you what’s wrong, hyunjin turns back around from the bartender and seems shocks to see haechan so close to you. he clearly doesn’t realise the man beside you is your bodyguard and shoots him a glare. “we were just heading out, actually.” hyunjin grabs hold of your wrist and tugs you towards him and you can’t help but yelp at the sudden movement.

“get your hands off her,” haechan’s voice is stony and almost unrecognisable. you chance a glance to his face and you feel a lick of fear at the cold glare on his face. if you thought he looked intimidating staring at strangers, this overpowers it tenfold. something dangerous shines behind his eyes and he encases hyunjin’s wrist in his hand, tightening his hold until he lets go of you.

“hey, what’s your problem?” hyunjin’s voice is cocky and you pray he shuts up before he digs a deeper whole for himself. “she wants to come home with me.”

“you think she’s in any state to go home with you, huh?” at the words, hyunjin seems to realise what he’s said and tries to backtrack, failing miserably. “leave her alone, yeah? before i throw you out of here.”

*

it's silent as haechan helps you back to the car, his jaw set in a hard line. you want to say something to ease the tension but you don't want to upset him. it's not your fault, but the cold look on his face is engrained behind you eyelids and you feel a wave of fear flush through you. you shouldn't be scared of him, but he looked so ready to kill hyunjin that you can't help but feel a new sense of unease next to him.

"are you okay?" he crouches next to the passenger seat after buckling your seatbelt for you, features settling back into the warmth you're used to. no matter how hard you try to hide your expression, he can easily see the fear in your eyes and sighs, letting his head drop between his arms. "i'm sorry for scaring you," he rests a hand on your thigh that has you heart rate speeding up despite your thoughts less than five minutes ago. "but it's my job to protect you, okay?" you say nothing in response.

"can we get pizza?" the shops whiz past your eyes as haechan drives, the streetlights blurring together. he shoots you a sideways look before sighing and nodding, trying to ignore the way your victorious smile makes him feel.

"we'll get takeout, okay? you wait in the car."

you would've listened to him, you really would have, if you hadn't seen a small knife drop from his pocket and onto the pavement. if you were sober, you would've just told him when he returned to the car, but in your drunken state, that knife seemed like haechan's most prized possession.

you slip out of the car on shaky legs, noticing the empty streets with fleeting anxiety but bend down to pick the knife up. right above the hand grip a tiny l.h. is engraved and you smile slightly. just as you turn to make your way back to the car, something hard hits the back of your head and you yelp.

haechan stands in the empty pizza shop waiting for the workers to finish your order. he can still feel the remaining wisps of anger from his standoff with that boy you were talking to, but tries to ignore it for your sake. the posters on the wall catch his attention and he reads about the movies showing downtown, mentally noting the ones he knows you will eventually drag him to see.

the workers are rushing around behind the counter and he sighs, excited to get back into the warmth of the car and finally get back to the house.

the excitement drains out of him when he hears a scream. a scream that sounds identical to yours.

he's outside in a flash, eyes shooting every direction to see where the noise came from. the empty passenger seat of the car catches his eye and he swears loudly. reaching for his knife, he stills when he feels the pocket empty, instead grabbing the pistol from the inside of his jacket.

a muffled cry escapes an alley next to the shop and he sprints towards the sound, turning the corner and seeing you being pulled further into the darkness. for a fraction of a second, his eyes meet yours and the teary panic he sees is enough to have him seeing red. the man pulling you back hasn't noticed him yet and he uses this to his advantage, pulling his fist back and launching it at your attacker's face. it's masked and you're unable to see the damage, but a crack rings out.

you feel infinitely more sober than you did in the car and you try to pull yourself out of the man's arms but your head feels heavy and you sway dangerously. your eyes shut as you fall forwards, the man's arm around you stopping you from falling. the angle gives haechan the perfect shot and you scream as a bang rings out, echoing through your head painfully. the arms around you disappear and you lurch forwards until something catches you. you scream again and try and get away from whoever's holding you.

"hey, hey, it's me, it's me." haechan's voice is like music to your ears and you allow yourself to go limp in his grip, sobs starting to wrack your body. you can feel him carrying you back to the car, the pizza long forgotten. when he places you down in the passenger seat again, you don't want to let go of him and he has to pry your hands off him. "you're okay," he whispers as he holds you, rubbing a hand up and down your back soothing. "we're fine."

even if in that moment, everything feels the polar opposite of fine, something about the way he says it makes you want more than anything to believe him.

*

the walls of your bedroom muffle the voices from downstairs. haechan had carried you upstairs and settled you into your bed before whispering about a debriefing he had to attend. and now here you sit, alone and shaking, reliving the moments you had thought your life may have been over. there's still a throbbing to your head and you will your eyes to shut and for sleep to overtake you, but every time you try the memories bubble back up to the surface. it's exhausting, but you eventually come to terms with knowing you won't be able to sleep until haechan comes back.

the scariest thing is, every time you think about those last few moments before haechan turned up, you really thought you would never see him again. you thought you would never see the daylight again, and yet your thoughts weren't plagued with messages for your parents, or things you wished you had told your friends. no, the only person you thought of was haechan.

you know what that means, but you try and ignore the feeling growing in your chest, turning over and burrowing your head into your pillows.

for the next hour, you slip in and out of shallow sleep as you wait for the meeting to finish. you're somewhere between the two when you hear the door click and your bed dip beside you. haechan must've known you wouldn't be able to sleep and he sits against your headboard like the last time he was in your bed, pulling your head into his lap gently.

"how're you feeling?" the words are whispered into the air and you hate how much his voice calms you.

"my head hurts." haechan pities the pain in your voice and looks down at the awkward angle of you neck, an internal battle waging in his head.

a few long seconds later and he's slipping further into your bed, pulling you up so your head is resting in the crook of his neck. "c'mere." the position is much more comfortable, and you sigh in contentment, trying to ignore the smell of his cologne that's slowly overtaking your senses.

you bask in the silence for a few minutes, trying to fall back asleep before realising you need to tel him what's plaguing your mind. in the safety of his neck, you mumble to try and conserve the peace in the room. "y'know, i really thought i was gonna die back there–"

"stop." haechan reaches one of his arms around your shoulders and pulls you further into him. the act is so gentle, as if you're made of glass and he mumbles his words into the top of your head. "you don't need to do this."

"but i want you to know," with a sense of desperation, you pull away from his embrace to meet his eyes. they're sad, and you know you probably look like a complete wreck right now, but you can't bring yourself to care. the only thing you can focus on is how much you want him to know his importance in your life. "i didn't think of my parents. i thought of y–"

"stop, really. you'll regret doing this." but you can't imagine regretting telling him anything. you've only known him for a few months, and yet you've never held trust in someone like this before.

sick of watching him avoid your gaze, you bury your face back into his neck and smile at the shiver that rolls down his spine when you speak against his skin. "i never liked them. they never cared about anything i did. i only ever wanted to make them proud, but they wouldn't even listen to me."

haechan's in dangerous territory, and he knows it. he can't sit here and insult his employers, but he's seen the way they treat you. as if you've never done anything worthwhile, but they were never there to see your achievements. he battles his thoughts for a few moments, trying to think of the best response. "they do care for you, they just can't show it well." it's weak, even he can tell, but he needs to say something. he wants nothing more than to shelter you from them, take you away from this house and show you what it's like to have someone be proud of you, to care for you wholeheartedly. but he can't, it's stupid to even entertain that thought.

"you care more than they do," the tone you speak with is bitter, and you pull away once again to look up at him. somewhere in the deep brown of his eyes is an emotion you think is something akin to love, but you think you might be imagining it. haechan's paid to be here, you need to remember. "but then i guess you're paid to."

"hey–" this is exactly where he didn't want the conversation to go, because he can't tell you what he really thinks whilst still in the confines of your house, not where your parents could hear every word.

"i'm not wrong, though, am i? you're only here because they're paying you–"

"i would've left if i didn't care."

you sigh and let yourself fall back into his embrace. "i'm gonna pretend like i believe you, just for tonight." no more words are exchanged, but he leans down to press a delicate kiss to the exposed skin on your forehead. the act is so tender, so familiar, you feel tears line your eyes. it's stupid, to cry at being held like this, but in a desolate horizon, haechan is your beaming spark of hope.

*

another month floats by and you and haechan continue your relationship than slips so easily between professional and something more than. it leaves you confused a lot of the time, but you try and ignore it, instead deciding to focus on the present.

the present right now leaves you stood in front of a fancy restaurant, a booking for you and one of you childhood friends ready and waiting. "i'll be by the door, scream if you need me, okay?" you chuckle at the serious tone of haechan's voice before hurrying over to your table where jennie sits waiting.

the girl stands when you near her, a wide smile taking over her features as she pulls you into a hug "how have you been? i haven't seen you in years!"

over the first course of food, you catch up about each other's lives, chatting about the various things you’ve been involved in recently. after what jennie deems an appropriate amount of time, she shifts her attention to the boy stood behind you.

"is that your boyfriend." her curious eyes scan over haechan who, as promised, stands by the door, staring at his phone. the sight makes you smile as you realise he's probably playing candy crush or some other stupid game to pass the time.

"no," you chuckle, although you would love more than anything to say yes, to be able to sit and claim him as yours, and no one else's. but you can't lie to jennie, as much as you want to. "it's just haechan, my bodyguard." just haechan sounds wrong coming from your lips.

"bodyguard? your dad's still got a lot of enemies, huh?" jennie shoots you a concerned frown which you try and laugh off. out of all the friends you've ever had, jennie's the only one with a somewhat similar upbringing; moving around a lot, feeling as if your parents are absent for more than half of your childhood. you had bonded over your situations in middle school and had kept in touch even when she moved to new zealand for sixth grade.

just as she's telling you about her new job at a fashion company, you blurt out the question bothering you."does the lemonade taste weird to you?" it's metallic almost on your tongue and it catches you off guard.

"no, i think it's just a bit tangy."

"oh, yeah probably" you laugh airily, but a cold wave on unease washes through you. it's unclear what's causing your anxiety, and you're suddenly confused why you're even on edge. on instinct, you look for haechan and seeing him still leaning on the wall by the door gives you a small sense of calm.

"are you sure? you look a bit–" jennie's words are drowned out in your mind by the wheezing of your throat. it's uncomfortable, as if someone is squeezing your lungs, trapping the air out, and preventing you from taking a full breath in.

"yeah, do you think we could step outside for a sec? i think i need some fresh air." the chair scrapes under you but you ignore it and make a beeline for the side door, clean air the only thought on your mind.

"of course, are you sure you're okay." outside, you fail to find the relief you're looking for and try to swallow down the metallic taste. you find it difficult to, however, and you concentrate on the movement as jennie crouches in front of you. you hadn't even realised you'd sat down.

unable to resist any longer, you give up and speak up in a hoarse voice. "can you go get haechan?" jennie nods and disappears for a minute. in the quiet, the only thing you can hear is your laboured breathing and the distant chatter from inside. it sounds like you're underwater, the voices seem so far away, as if you're sinking.

"what's wrong?" haechan's before you in an instant, hands gripping the sides of your face and eyes scanning your body for any obvious injuries. you try to speak but nothing comes out and you feel your legs give way underneath you, sliding down the wall onto the ground.

"i don't know–" the voice that speaks doesn't sound like you're own. it's hoarse and breathless and you can feel yourself losing the strength to speak again.

"she said the drink tasted weird." haechan's blood runs cold at jennie's words. you don't fail to notice the panic in his eyes and it does nothing to calm your now racing heartbeat. you feel a chill come over you and when you reach your hands up to find haechan's they shake violently.

despite the alarm on his face, his voice is calm and authoritative and it reminds you of the first time you had ever heard him speak. you wish fleetingly to go back to that moment, to be able to meet him for the first time again. "call an ambulance."

"what?" jennie's voice is close by but muffled by your own heartbeat that pounds in your ears.

"call an ambulance and tell them she's been poisoned." you feel his arms gently set you onto your side before his words register in your head. “try and breathe for me, princess.” the action is futile and you try so hard to do as he says but your head feels heavier with every feeble motion of your lungs.

“you’re gonna be fine, baby.” it's the last thing you hear before your hearing gives up on you. haechan's hands finally find you own, skin hot against yours, and you try to squeeze them but you can't get your fingers to move. you feel like a statue, watching the scene in front of play out with no strength to do anything.

black spots start toying at the edge of your vision and you feel the ground beneath your shoulder. you're on your side, you think. but you can't remember moving anymore.

haechan's hands remain in yours and you try to take a breath in, feeling your lungs expand weakly before the last little bit of energy drains out of you. the last thing you see is haechan's face, an expression of terror on his face as he shakes your shoulders. his mouth is moving but you can't hear anything he's saying, instead letting the darkness overcome your senses.

it's calming, almost, the warm embrace of sleep. you feel like you haven't slept in years, maybe never.  with an empty feeling settling inside you and haechan’s face burning behind your eyelids, you allow yourself to slip into the blackness.

*

the first thing you're aware of is a warmth over your arm. and then a beeping. and then painfully bright light shining behind your eyelids. the smell of harsh disinfectant fills your nose and you feel starchy sheets underneath your bare legs. an attempt to breathe in leaves you coughing painfully as you realise your lungs feel like they’re made of sandpaper.

the sound awakens haechan from his light sleep, eyes shooting open to find you squinting down at him. everything is too bright and you try to bring a hand up to cover them before finding it covered in wires. you hand is pushed back down and a cup of water is brought to your lips. it feels heavenly against your dry throat and you try to drink more before it's pulled out of your reach.

"hey, hey, slow down," the familiar tone is a welcome change and you find your mind coming up blank as to where you are. haechan smiles down at you, a soft glimmer to his eyes, one you haven't seen in what feels like so long. "the nurse said you shouldn't drink too much yet."

"what happened?" your voice is scratchy and painful to listen to. the boy before you smiles sadly and sits on the edge of the bed after pushing the barrier down. you've managed to work out you're in a hospital, but you're still unable to place the reason behind your visit.

"you were poisoned." the words trigger something in your brain and your memories come flooding back. the lemonade, the confusion, the darkness. it's the second time you've been close to death, and the second time haechan's been the last thought on your mind. you promise yourself you won't let him slip away, not this time.

"i remember," his fingers interlace with yours, thumb rubbing along the back of your hand. "i thought i was gonna die."

"you nearly did," a new voice enters the room and you turn to see a tall woman in a white coat. "and you would have done if it wasn't for this man's quick thinking." she waves a clipboard in haechan's direction and he looks away, embarrassed to be in the spotlight. "the paramedics knew exactly what they were turning up to, cut a lot of time for treatment.” the words make haechan blush.

the doctor stays for a while longer, explaining your treatment plan and adjusting your medications. she gives you some stronger painkillers and says you should be fine to leave after another night of observation.

as soon as you're alone again, you turn to haechan, only to find he's already staring at you. "you know what i'm gonna say." the words are whispered and you let him move up the bed to lie beside you.

"just say it, get it over with." unlike last time, his voice doesn't sound as hopeless and you wonder if he prepared himself for this conversation. it was inevitable, to be fair.

"you were my last thought." haechan's cologne is strong in your nose as you drop your head onto his shoulder. "i wasn't scared about dying, haechan, i was scared about never seeing you again." the tears fill your eyes and you do nothing to stop them falling onto haechan's hoodie.

his shoulder moves when he sighs, an arm wrapping around your shoulders and your taken back to the last time you were sat like this. "i love you, i need you to know that, okay?" it's all you can hope to hear, but you know he hasn't stopped talking yet. "but i don't know if we can do this."

"why can't we just leave?" your voice is pleading and it pulls at haechan's heartstrings. he wants to badly to give in, but the future would be too uncertain.

"your parents would hunt us down."

"then let's flee the country, i don't care–"

"you can't just leave your parents–"

"where are they?" when you had woken up, you hadn't failed to notice their lack of presence and it didn't hurt as much as it should have anymore. a guilt look passes behind haechan's eyes and he doesn't even need to say it for you to understand.

"on a business trip."

"let's just go, haechan. they don't want us here anymore."

the desperate glimmer in your eyes is enough to convince haechan, who knows he would have agreed to it anyway. he would always agree with you. "if you want to. i'll do anything for you princess."

when you turn to face him, the proximity between your faces is significantly less than what you expected and you find your breath hitching in your throat. it catches him off guard as well and you watch his eyes flicker down to your lips and back up to your eyes quickly. you can’t help but smirk as you lean in, resting your free hand on his chest to push yourself up to meet his lips.

the kiss is warm and comforting and everything you need in that moment. he slips a hand around your waist and pulls you closer to him, using his other one to cup your jaw and tilt your head up. the angle allows you to deepen the kiss and haechan sighs into it. a few seconds pass and your lungs are burning for oxygen.

you break away first, resting your forehead against his and drinking in as much air as you can before leaning back into him. right before your lips meet again, you hear the heart rate monitor speed up and your cheeks burn in embarrassment.

“why is your heart beating so fast?” haechan teases with a laugh.

“shut up.” you huff out before closing the distance one again and meeting his lips with a new sense of hope filling you.

a/n; thank you so much for reading!! it means a lot to me!!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

In the Neighbourhood

Warnings: nonconsensual sex, very lightly edited

This is dark!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After your grandmother breaks her hip, you volunteer to look after her as she recovers but her neighbour is a bit too friendly.

Note: @lokislastlove​ thinks I won’t call her out anymore but I’m calling her out and you should too. Always blame her.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your grandmother’s house never changed. Nestled between two larger homes and with grass as green as the next, it was as perfect as any along the suburban sprawl. Inside, the same framed pictures of your mother and your aunt and uncle, those of you, your siblings, and your cousins, and family members you only saw at reunions. All of them far away. All of them keeping her company only in the still images. None of them coming to care for her; none but you.

You didn’t mind so much. With two degrees under your belt, you were ready to start your novel as you pondered a third. Your online transcription job was easy enough to travel with and you loved your grandmother. The least you could do was help her out in her recovery. A broken hip but otherwise okay. She couldn’t do much from her wheelchair and you feared a worse injury if she tried.

You moved in on a Sunday. The family next door, the Barbers, were the perfect picture of a suburban clan. Andy introduced himself and his wife, Laurie, and their quiet son, Jacob. Then they asked if your grandmother, Lucille, was coming to their barbecue that afternoon and invited you along with her. Your grandmother confirmed that she didn’t want to miss out on Laurie’s potato salad because she’d tripped on a rug.

So you wheeled her over, careful as the grass slowed the chair, and you angled her through the open gate. You seemed to be the last to arrive. The air smelled of searing beef and swirled with the buzz of voices. You stood behind your grandmother’s chair as you looked around nervously and a plump woman with short curly white hair approached.

“Darla!” You grandmother greeted. “You’re back from your little getaway.”

“Arn was keen to come home,” The woman smiled up at you and back to your grandmother. “I heard you had a bit of an incident.”

“Oh, still spry, but the damn doctor has me ‘takin’ it easy’,” You grandma sneered. “I’ll be up at it before long. This is my granddaughter, you remember her, don’t you?”

“I do,” Darla smiled though you barely remembered her. “So sweet of you to come down to look after our Lucille.”

“It’s nothing,” You said. “I owe her. I spent too many holidays on campus.”

“That you did,” Your grandmother chided. “But do go on and socialise, dear. There must be someone here your own age. Or closer to. You can’t be lettin’ yourself get caught up with us old biddies.”

“I’m fine,” You chuckled. “Really.”

“You go. Get something to drink.” You grandmother snapped her fingers. “Mingle!”

You huffed but left her with Darla and another woman, you were certain her name was Betty, passed you on her way to join them. You looked around. The wives were in their clusters and the men drank from brown bottles as they laughed and talked about sports. You didn’t know about children or baseball. 

You went to the end of the table, just by the barbecue, a cooler open and waited as a young boy claimed a can of Orange Crush. You reached inside and took out a grape soda. The lid of the barbecue closed and you turned to face its master; Andy smiled as you blinked at him.

“That’s the kid’s cooler,” He said. “There’s a mini fridge in the garage if you want something stronger.”

“I’m good with this,” You cracked the can. 

“I thought you were a college girl,” He said as he set down his long spatula.

“Graduated.” You assured him. “Never was big on the scene though.”

“Really?” He lifted a brow. “I kinda miss it.” He stepped around the barbecue, closer to you. “It was a while ago now but it was fun. You know,” He put his hands on his hips as he looked across the yard. “I was in a frat with Carson over there,” He nodded to skinny man holding a bottle of water amid the sea of brown glass. “We got in quite a bit of trouble. Maybe I wrote a few of my exams drunk but didn’t do much harm.”

“Oh yeah?” You said dully. “What do you do now?”

“Law. Assistant district attorney.” He preened. “But don’t worry, I can still have fun.”

He winked and you squinted at him. He was an old man trying to relate to a youth. There was what, ten, fifteen years between you? Wasn’t that much, really, and yet it was.

“Legal fun,” You suggested.

“Well, the immoral isn’t always illegal,” He mused. “So… Miss Graduate, you have a job lined up?”

“I work online for now but I’m writing, too.” You shrugged. “Nothing fancy but it’ll do for the time being. Until my grandma’s better.”

“That’s a nice thing you’re doing,” He said. “You know, not a lot of people I know my age would drop everything to go care for family.”

“Least I can do,” You sipped from the can. “She always did make the best lemon meringue. It has its perks.”

He chuckled and backed up as he grabbed the spatula again and opened the barbecue.

“Offer stands,” He called over the smoke. “Beer’s in the garage.”

“Thanks,” You smiled and slowly walked away. This was like that party you’d spent hiding on the porch; awkward as hell.

🏡

The first two weeks passed swiftly. You woke up, made breakfast for your grandmother, her usual oatmeal and tea, then you spent a few hours working online, then lunch, an hour of writing, a walk through the neighbourhood, some alone time, dinner, and then some nightly crime dramas with your grandmother. Each day was identical to the last and you felt the vaunted slog of suburban life.

It was Saturday. You needed to get out. Your grandmother even encouraged it. A few hours at the bar, drinking, dancing, you returned with a guy, Gabe, you met there, hushing him as you snuck him in the front door. 

The house was dark as you climbed the stairs carefully and ushered Gabe into your bedroom. You closed the door and grabbed him as you stumbled to the bed. It was messy, hurried, and desperate. Entirely regrettable as you laid staring out the window at the sky after. You didn’t have time to ask him to leave before he started snoring.

You slept for a few hours and woke as the sun began to rise. You poked the stranger you knew as Gabe until he woke up and you threw his clothes at him before you dressed. You peeked into the hall and waved him out behind you. You led him down the stairs and to the front door. He left you with some empty nicety and you hid your wince. It wasn’t your first one night stand but it was definitely the worst.

“Fun night?” You turned as Andy descended the steps of his porch and opened his car door.

“You work on Sundays?” You grumbled. You hoped he hadn’t seen your regret walking away.

“Not usually but I got some hours to make up.” He dropped his briefcase in the back seat and closed the door. “I know that guy. Pretty sure he’s still on probation for the molly he was dealing at the mechanics.”

“Ugh, no.” You covered your face. “You saw?”

“I got a bit curious as I was finishing my coffee.” He pointed to the window with lacy curtains. “Great view just above the sink.”

“So you’re one of those neighbours?” You crossed your arms.

“I seem nosy but really I’m just looking out for you.” He opened the driver’s side door and planted his hand on the roof of the car. “Look, you don’t know the people around here. I’m just trying to help.”

“Well, I won’t be seeing him again.” You retreated to the door and stopped there. “Boring, to say the least.”

“Heh,” Andy scoffed. “Really?”

“Not that it’s any of your business.” You rolled your eyes and stepped inside, closing the door with a snap. You went to the bottom of the stairs and looked up. “Hey, grandma,” You called as you began to climb. “You ready to get up?”

🏡

At the end of the next week, you took your grandmother to her check up. Her recovery was on track but she had a long way to go. The doctor was optimistic that at her next appointment, she’d be ready to use her walker more often.

As you helped her out of the car and got her settled in her chair, you ignored the roar of the mower in the next yard. You’d seen Andy as you drove up. He was pushing the machine back and forth across his already perfectly manicured yard; shirtless. As you turned to push your grandmother up the walk, you couldn’t help but notice that he was in great shape for his age. For any age, really.

“Hey,” He yelled over the motor and shut it down. “How’s it going, ladies?”

“Andy,” Your grandmother chimed. “Great! Doc says I’m doing well.”

“Mmhmm,” You mumbled, still slightly embarrassed over your last interaction with the man.

“Well, seeing as I’m already out here and you already had such a busy day, I could do your lawn while I’m at it?” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and you quickly tore your eyes away from his chest. 

“Oh, you’re too sweet,” Your grandma giggled. “It’s so hot out here.”

“I don’t mind,” He insisted. “Laurie’s gone to see her parents with Jacob so I’m just trying to keep myself busy.”

“Twist my arm, why don’t ya?” Your grandmother shook her hand. “Fine! Sweetie,” She reached back and tapped your hand. “Let’s go make some lemonade for this young man so he doesn’t overheat.”

Andy smiled and you nodded at him awkwardly. You wheeled your grandmother up the newly installed ramp and inside. She ordered you to the kitchen and directed you to the lemons hidden in the crisper.

“The juicer is just under there.” She pointed to the cupboard, “And you’ll want to add some sugar.”

“I know how to make lemonade, grandma,” You said as you pulled out the pitcher.

“That Andy’s a nice man,” She said. “So helpful… handsome too. It’s too bad you’re so young… and he’s so married.”

“Stop,” You warned. “You said the same thing about your doctor.”

“Yes, but he’s a doctor. He’s rich.” She snickered. “And not married, just not into your type.”

“Grandma,” You snipped. “Really.”

“I don’t know how your mother ended up with you.” She said. “She was such a little troublemaker.”

“Trust me, I’ve heard,” You said as you washed the lemon juice from your hands and added water and sugar to the pitcher. “I think her stories were more a warning.”

“Too smart for your own good,” She tutted as you mixed the lemonade.

You went to the cupboard and grabbed some ice cubes from the freezer as you set a glass on the counter. You poured the lemonade and gave her a sour look. 

“You think you can look after yourself for a few minutes?” You asked dryly.

“Girlie, I was taking care of you while you were in diapers,” She narrowed her eyes.

“Oh, how the tables have turned.”

“I don’t wear diapers,” She hissed as you neared the door. “Yet.”

You went out the front door as Andy pushed the mower across the yard just along the walkway. He stopped and looked over at you. He shut down the motor again and neared you as you came down the steps to hold out the glass. He thanked you and took a big gulp before he handed it back.

“You know, I didn’t mean anything,” He said. “The other day. Sometimes… I say stuff without thinking.”

“It’s… whatever.” You shrugged and set the glass on the rail of the porch. “No hard feelings.”

“I just got a hot tub. Just gotta hook it up and it’s ready to go.” He said. “You should stop by later. Get a soak in.”

“No, I don’t think so.” You stood at the top of the steps. “I don’t wanna leave grandma all alone. She wants to watch Casablanca tonight. I promised we would.”

“Maybe another night.” He offered. “You work so hard. You deserve a break.”

“Maybe,” You said evasively as you turned and crossed the porch. You glanced back as you opened the door and he was still looking at you.

“Lemonade’s good.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

🏡

You finished lunch and left your grandmother to her puzzle at the dining room table. You went upstairs to change the shirt you’d spilled mustard down; it was all you could smell. You tore off your shirt and tossed it on the bed. You rounded the bed to the dresser that sat just below the window and opened the draw. Movement caught your eye and you looked up across the space between yards.

Andy’s eyes met yours through the windows. You’d never realised they were adjacent, let alone so easy to see through. He wore a towel around his waist, freshly showered and his gaze strayed for just a moment. You blanched and pulled out a shirt and covered yourself with it. He smirked and tilted his head. Then he winked and a shiver went through you.

You grabbed the curtain and closed it so forcefully you nearly bent the rod. You backed away and put the shirt on properly. Surely, he was being funny. A tense, awkward moment. What else could he do but make a joke? Well, it wasn’t a very good one.

🏡

You stayed inside for the better part of a week. Aside from your walks with your grandmother and a trip to the grocery store, you kept your curtains closed, and hid yourself away. Maybe you’d built it up in your mind but you were just set off-kilter by the wordless interaction. Since, you felt as though you’d been walking a tightrope, too afraid to look down.

But that night, your grandmother wanted to sit outside. It was warm and the nights were shorter; later. You wheeled her out, a book on her lap, and as you made to skirt back inside, he appeared. Andy had impeccable timing. It made you wonder if he was watching you; if he had been for much longer than you knew. Well, now you were just being paranoid.

“Hey,” He stood at the edge of the yard. “Beautiful night.”

“Sure is,” You grandma replied. “I’ve got a new book and I’m ready to enjoy the breeze.”

“Oh, a new book? What’s it about?” He asked as he neared tentatively.

“Another scary one.” She cracked the cover. “Or so I hear. Skinwalkers taking over a whole city.”

“Ah, spooky,” He commented and looked at you. “And you?”

“Writing. Inside.” You said evenly.

“I figured since it was so nice, I was finally gonna try out my new Jacuzzi,” He said. “I just… I did promise you a soak so I thought maybe--”

“Eh, I don’t know.” You neared the door. “I really should try to get some writing done.”

“Nonsense, dear,” Your grandmother intoned. “You’ve been on that computer all day. You should go, relax.”

“Really, I--”

“Laurie might join us. She’s inside doing some work.” He piped up. “She wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Go on! I’m getting sick of ya anyway,” Your grandmother snorted. “You could stand to loosen up.”

“Grandma,” You huffed.

“Go get changed,” She ordered and smiled at Andy. “She’ll be over shortly.”

You blinked and tried to hide your irritation. You went inside before Andy could notice and you stormed upstairs. You weren’t even sure you’d packed a suit. You searched through the dresser. The curtains were still drawn tight. You found your old pink bikini with the white flowers. Really? It had to be that one?

You changed, reluctantly. It couldn’t have covered less of you. You found a tee shirt and pulled it over. You descended the stairs again and stepped out on the porch.

“Thanks for that, grandma.” You scowled.

“I can see why you were never popular,” She laughed. “Go. Have fun. This old lady can handle herself.”

You stomped down the steps beside the ramp and stopped at the border of the yards. You sighed and went to the gate, it was open in expectation of you. You heard the whir of jets before you entered. Andy was just beside the hot tub, testing the temperature with his hand as you stood across from him. He looked up and gave a crooked smirk.

“Andy,” The back door opened and Laurie appeared. “Oh, hey.” She smiled at you before turning back to her husband. “I’m gonna pass. Gina’s not going to make it in tomorrow so looks like I’ll be up all night.”

“Damn, that’s too bad,” Andy said. “More tub for us I guess.”

“Yes, love you too,” She said dryly. “You enjoy yourself. And don’t leave that thing on all night.”

“Yes, honey,” He said before she shut the door. “Love you.”

You swallowed. Your mouth was dry. Maybe you had been a bit presumptuous. Andy climbed into the jacuzzi and lowered himself into the warm water with a sigh. You hesitated to get closer but you did. He watched you, expectantly. You grabbed the edge and tried to will yourself in.

“You’re wearing that?” He nodded to your tee.

“Yeah,” You lifted your leg over the side.

“You don’t gotta be shy,” He grinned.

You paused and frowned at him.

“I’m joking,” He said. “The other day. That was… funny. Bad timing.”

“Mhmm,” You drew your other leg over and carefully sat.

“You met any more cute guys?” He asked suddenly. You squinted.

“What?” 

“Not much to do around here, you know? Pretty boring.”

“No. I don’t--” You sputtered. “I don’t think it’s a very good idea. Once my grandma’s better, I’ll be going.”

“Still, it’s lonely.” He said softly. 

“What do you care?” You asked, harsher than intended. 

He was quiet. He leaned back and looked over at the house then back to you. He exhaled and spread his arms over the edge.

“So… that toy you hide in your night table? You always use it or you ever just… feel yourself?”

Your heart sank. You felt as if you would choke on air. Had you imagined his words?

“What did you just--”

“Took you long enough to catch on,” He said. “Got a good view of you when I can’t sleep but… not anymore. Too bad.”

“Andy,” You stood and the water splashed around you. “You-- You’re-- Laurie, she--”

“I haven’t fucked her in months. This is what she does.” He sat forward and caught your hand. “She works. All the time. I try and she… just doesn’t want to.”

“Let me go.” You struggled with him. “You’re disgusting. You’re married!”

“Me? Fucking awful some young girl strolls into town and tries to seduce a married man? What would grandma think? And Laurie? She’s not one to sit back and be humiliated.” He tugged on you. “I have a reputation around here. You’re just a stranger, and apparently one, who fucks strangers.”

“What are you talking about?” You nearly slipped as he spun you back to him. “You’ve been watching me and--”

“I’m just a neighbour looking out for you,” He pulled even harder and your feet slid across the bottom of the jacuzzi, forcing you to catch yourself on him. “Like I do all my neighbours. They would confirm as much.”

“Get--” You grabbed his arm as it snaked around you. “Andy! Laurie--”

“Doesn’t give a fuck and if she came out, well, she’d only realise what’s she’s pushed me to.” 

You wriggled as he held you to him. He drew your leg over his so that you straddled his lap. You pushed on his chest and grunted.

“You keep it up and everyone will hear. Even sweet old nana.” He snarled. “I saw you looking at me that day… when you brought me lemonade.”

“No, no,” You rasped.

“I’m old, not that old,” He purred. “As you can obviously see.”

“Let me go. Please.” You begged. He was too strong and your arms only ached from pushing against him. “Andy--”

“Shhh,” He grabbed your chin with his wet hand and pulled you close until your lips almost met his. “In this town, rumours travel. It might be old news that you left a bar with that dumb kid but now, it’s evidence.” His hand slipped down your neck and squeezed. “Such a bad girl.”

“No one would--”

“They have no reason not to believe me,” He rolled up your wet shirt with his other hand. “Annie across the street, she likes gossip. She’s seen you flirting with me, at least that’s how she told it to Laurie but you know, my wife just laughs it off. And now she’s no doubt seen you come into my backyard in just this.” He pulled your shirt higher. “And her mind is going wild.”

“I can’t--”

“How long did he last? A minute? Less?” He snarled and his other hand slipped down to draw your shirt up. You kept your arms down as you tried to resist. “Bet you could wait to use your little toy.”

“Stop,” You pleaded.

“Get your arms up.” His voice was deep and dangerous. “And stop your whining.”

You stopped and stared at him. His blue eyes burned into yours and sent a shiver through you. His fingertips pinched your hips as they crawled under your shirt and he pushed it higher.

“You don’t shut up and someone will hear, sweetie,” He warned. “Up.”

He tugged until you raised your arms. A wave of bile rose in your chest and you let him peel away your wet shirt and reveal the skimpy bikini beneath. He dropped the cotton over the side of the tub and his hands grazed the triangles of your top.

“Cute,” He hummed. “You hiding this from me?”

You were quiet, sickened. With him, with yourself. You knew you couldn’t fight, wouldn’t. You remembered the barbecue and how you’d been the odd one out. Recalled how Andy had talked to almost every person there. Everyone loved him and no one knew you.

“Mmm mm mm,” His fingertips walked around your neck and he picked at the knot behind your neck. The straps loosened and he let your top fall and expose your chest. 

He bent to bury his face against you and nibbled along your tits. You looked, startled, to the back door. It was still shut. A light glow from a bedroom above and the distant beat of music escaped through the slightly opened bedroom window. Another light died on the first floor and was replaced by a second on the top floor, reflecting against yours on the other side. 

You quivered as Andy took a nipple in his mouth and sucked. You felt it in your core as his hand cupped your other tit. He reached beneath you and played with the edge of your bottom. He drew you back as he leaned against the side of the tub and lifted his pelvis, and you with him. He tugged on his shorts and sat back down.

You felt hollow and a cloud of panic filled your stomach. You struggled against you and he bit you. You squeaked as his teeth threatened to break the skin and stilled. He parted and looked up at you.

“Be a good girl,” He felt beneath you and began to stroke himself.

“Please--”

“Shhh,” He turned his hand and hooked his fingers in your bottoms, pulling them aside. “It’s okay, sweetie.” He rubbed his tip against your folds. “It’ll be good.” He drew you to him and angled you over his dick. “Better than ever before.”

He forced you down and your lips formed an o as he entered you. You latched onto his shoulders without thinking and he pushed you to his limit. His lips and teeth returned to your chest as he once more began to toy with you. You quivered as he began to rock your hips.

The water swished around you, swirling and slapping against your skin. You held your breath as you tried not to cry out. You hissed as you dug your nails into his shoulders and let him guide you. Despite yourself, despite everything, it felt good. It felt wonderful. He was right and you were weak.

“You like that?” He nuzzled your throat. “Is this what you think of at night, huh?”

You bit your lip as he kneaded your hips and kept your moving.

“I think of it all the time,” He muttered. “All the time. Maybe…” His breath caught and he groaned. “Maybe I could offer to take you grocery shopping, hmm? We could have some fun in the car…”

“Andy…” You whimpered. “No, we can’t-- not again…”

You grasped his wrists and tried to push yourself off of him. A semblance of sanity returned to you as you looked him in the face. His eyes were dilated and dusky. He was entranced; incorrigible. You struggled as he held you down.

“This is wrong--”

He shoved you off him as his lip curled. You stumbled back and caught yourself on the other side of the tub. The water splashed as he stood behind you and grabbed your arm. He turned you over and pushed you over the siding, a jet blowing against your pelvis.

“Doesn’t feel wrong to me.” He growled.

He held you down with a large hand between your shoulders as he pushed your legs apart with his knee. He pressed against you and searched for your entrance, swiftly impaling you. You choked down a mewl as your hips crashed into the wall of the tub. He leaned his weight on you entirely as he rutted into you without relent. You were certain someone would hear the clapping of flesh or the stir of water all around.

“You’ll do what I want, when I want,” He sneered. “And from what I can tell, you’ll like it.”

“Andy--” Your voice fizzled as the pressure mixed with the steady stream of the jet as it hit your cunt. 

You held in a moan as you hung over the side of the tub, the blood pounding in your head as you panted wildly. You covered your mouth, afraid you would cry out as the coil inside you twisted and twisted. Your legs quaked as you orgasmed.

Andy’s hand gripped your hips and he pulled you back against him, again and again, using your body easily. You slid back and forth over the side and he bent over you, crushing you against the tub. He growled in your ear and his thrust jolted your body.

He pulled out suddenly, still looming over you as he stroked himself against your bikini and pressed his damp beard to your cheek as he shuddered. His hot cum spilled out onto the wet fabric and dripped down your thigh as he eased himself through his climax. He sighed and pushed himself from atop you, falling back into the water heavily.

You stayed as you were for a moment. Stunned. Shakily you stood and fixed your top and pulled your bottom straight. You couldn’t look at him. You climbed out of the tub and walked unsteadily across the grass.

“Ah, that was relaxing,” He said. “Come back anytime.”

You ignored him and continued onto the gate.

“Oh, and it’s supposed to be a cool night,” He called after you. “You should keep your window open.”

You slipped through and the gate creaked behind you and closed with a metallic click. You shivered as you kept to the side of your grandma’s house and entered through the back. You didn’t want anyone to see; you were certain they would know if they did.

[oneaddishun]

Niall being single a dad to maybe a girl? Like maybe a day in the life of the Horans or something

WARNING: Mostly angst or fluff but since this is my first time writing non-smut, non-sexual, non-romantic fics, it might be cringe-y for certain audience.

Also, I didn't quite like the first draft with normal, everyday things. So I twisted it up a bit and made some plot with conflict. If you'd like to read the first draft, tell me and I'll post it too :)

EDIT AFTER WRITING THIS: What the hell is up with me? It does include talks of sex as well!! One! Can't I write just one fic without sexualising it?! Also, read at your own risk warning since I couldn't keep my hands off of sexual stuff. No description. Just talks of sex.

WORD COUNT - 1.3k +

NIALL'S POV

Writing. Writing. Writing.

That's what I've been doing since the last few weeks. I have barely had any time for my own daughter. I know her mother would be so ashamed of me. She left me with the only thing that mattered to her more than anything else and I couldn't take good care of it.

Lately my daughter has been a little moody and I can't blame her for it. I know she's been bottling up her emotions because she is a very understanding young woman but it's only a matter of time before she bursts.

I was on my couch doing my usual thing- writing songs. The pen in my hand would scribble on the paper in my lap from time to time. It would take me about a whole minute or two to move on to then next line. I would occasionally stare out of the window and look at the pouring rain. I could hear the light patter of rain on the soft grass as a heavenly smell filled my nostrils.

From the distance, I heard another sound which wasn't the rain. It was her; my daughter. I looked out of the window instantly and saw her pushing a guy out of our driveway and cursing at him.

"You fucking go away or I swear you'll regret following me here!" she yelled.

The guy muttered something back but it was hard for me to make out what he was saying. Maybe some words of apology?

I have never seen her with a guy that close- let alone curse at him. I was seeing a side of hers I had seen never before. She was like a flame. Even the rain and her drenching clothes weren't bothering her.

When the guy stopped talking- and mind you, he was making so many facial expressions that you'd get a headache just watching him- my daughter's expression turned cold. She stared at him as if she was a statue.

The she tightly closed her fist and smacked the guy on his face. She turned around and walked towards the front door.

As I expected, the doorbell rang moments later. I opened the door and she entered. She was wet from head to toe. The raindrops on her face made it hard to notice but I could see it in her eyes that she was crying. A million thoughts raced into my mind. The one that popped up the most was about how much she resembled her mother. Her eyes looked the same when she cried- beautiful, but filled with melancholy.

"Are-" I almost choked the first time. "Are you crying? Is everything alright?" I asked her, hiding the fact that I had seen everything.

"W-what? No- no. I- it must be the r-r-rain," She lied and without another word, she pushed me out of her way and stormed off to her room. It was kind of rude but I had to suck it up for then.

About half an hour later, I decided to check on her. I knocked on her room thrice. No response came. It was unusually quite. I knocked thrice again. Still no response. I barged into the room with worry.

The room was deserted as if no one was there. The bed was properly made and everything was in order. My daughter wasn't to be found anywhere. I looked around and paced everywhere, hoping to find her somewhere.

I heard a whimper from the bathroom and I rushed inside. My mouth hung open when I saw the scene in front of me. I was horrified.

Lying on the floor was my daughter I had taken care of since she was born. A blade beside her and a bleeding cut on her delicate wrist. I was shocked to my very core. What the hell was she doing?!

My mind went blank and for the second time in my life, I was going to cry for a girl. Her mother made this mistake and that's the reason she isn't here with me today. I can't let my daughter do this too. I bent my knees and sat down beside her. I then rested her head on my lap.

Her eyes were half open. She looked at me through them. A single tear left her her eye. Her hair were damp and wetting my pajama but I didn't care.

"NO!" I screamed with everything I had in me.

"Dad..." came her faint reply.

"This can't- You- I- that guy-"

"Dad..." she whispered but I didn't hear.

"You can't go! This-"

"DAD!" she screamed this time to get my attention. I stopped stuttering.

"Dad, it's not that deep. I'm sorry you had to see this," her words were spoken so softly that it took me a second to understand what she said. "I'm okay. Just tired, that's all,"

"Why did you do this?"

"Forget it dad,"

I took her in my arms and carried her to the bed. On the way, she lifted her arm and wiped the tears off of my face. I hadn't noticed it but apparently, I had been shedding tears all this while. I didn't stop her. I let her wipe it off. This reminded me so much of her mother; even she doesn't know how much. As if the past was repeating itself.

I laid her down on the bed and sat beside her- my hand intertwined with hers.

"It was him." she spoke up after a very awkward silence. The bleeding had stopped now since I had bandaged it. "He was my friend,"

"What did he do?"

"Dad, you have to promise me you won't say anything to anyone and keep calm,"

"I- I won't tell anyone," I promised her without talking about my calm. I have anger issues and she knows it. But I would try.

"We were more that friends. He was my-"

"Your boyfriend? Why would I get angry at that?"

"We were friends-" she looked me dead in the eye, "-with benefits,"

I audibly gasped.

"Shhh... Listen first. He tried to- t-" her voice was faltering so I held her hand. As if it gave her my power, she spoke up, her voice stronger now. "He- he didn't stop when I- I said the safe word. He s-s-slapped me and d-degraded me which was a hard rule but he- he-" she broke out into sobs.

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"I saw what happened outside," I admitted and she nodded.

"I love you dad. I won't ever. Ever. Ever. Lie to you."

"I love you too, angel. What you did outside, well, the guy kinda deserved it. I don't care what happened to him but this here," I held out her wrist covered with mark that I had failed to notice ever since she started this.

She hugged me again. And in the hug, she whispered in my ear, some words of apology. I gently smiled and petted her hair. She was my big girl. My strong girl. I won't ever let her go through what her mother had to go through. I will protect her.

I chuckled. "I didn't know you had already lost your virginity,"

She broke away from the hug and nudged my arm. She smiled with her cheeks coated with endless streams of tears. "You're making this awkward,"

"I know. But like- when?"

"DAD!"

"Aww come on! I'm the man who raised you. I deserve to know,"

"A year ago. To the same guy I punched,"

"Huh-"

"Just kidding dad. I was just a minor then. I remember your rules 'No intimacy with any gender before 18'" she mimicked my voice. "I lost it just a month ago,"

The mood was much lighter than what it was ten minutes ago. Even though we were talking about sex, none of us seemed to be bothered by it. We spent all our evening talking about various things which we kept from each other. I always made sure not to bring up what happened today. She would grow up and live a long, long life. Because I would make sure she doesn't cut again.

I was going to make her live happily ever after.

But oh how badly I failed!

[whumping-to-conclusions]

Howdy there! Thanks for tagging me on the post. Could I get number 20 please? [voice trails off as I vanish behind a corner in awkward slinkiness]

This snippet introduces a couple of my OCs, Eleanor and Jesse, two definitely-not-in-love programmers in their mid-20s who you'll be seeing on here every now and then. They're a pair of cuties; I hope you like them.

----

Tap. Tap. Tap-tap. Eleanor was typing away at her computer when it started.

It was early afternoon at the office and she was editing a line of code, nose practically pressed to the screen, when suddenly, her vision went fuzzy at the edges. She rubbed at her eyes, thinking that maybe she had gotten something in them, but her periphery remained fuzzy. Lights and blobs of nameless colors started popping in front of her eyes.

“That’s weird,” she murmured.

Then came the pain.

A sharp, clear stroke of pain cleaved her forehead, like someone had driven a searing nail into her brain.

“Agh!” Eleanor took her glasses off and pressed her hands to her head, but it did nothing to abate the throbbing, aching pulse, the nail driving in further second after second.

“Eleanor? You okay?” Jesse’s voice floated out to her from the neighboring cubicle. Eleanor couldn’t even answer.

She heard footsteps approaching. Jesse’s hand touched her shoulder, the brush of a bird’s wing.

“Eleanor? What’s wrong?”

“Headache,” she gasped. “Really bad headache.”

More footsteps.

“What’s going on?” Mia’s voice. A pause. “Is… she okay?”

“I don’t know. She says her head hurts.”

Eleanor heard Mia bend down beside her, felt her feel her forehead.

“Eleanor, can you hear me? Look at me.”

Eleanor lifted her head from her hands and winced at the radiance from the fluorescent light above her. It was much too bright.

Mia was kneeling beside her, and Jesse and a few of her other coworkers were standing around her. She groaned a little. “Nothing―just―the head―and I can’t really see―it’s too bright in here.” She shivered and closed her eyes, pressing her hands to her head again.

“I think she has a migraine,” Mia said to Jesse. “She’s probably going to have to take the day off, especially if she’s got no meds for it.”

“I’ll take her home,” Jesse said immediately.

“You sure? I can take her if you’re busy with something.”

“No, I―I got it.” The others murmured their assent. Jesse’s hand touched Eleanor’s shoulder again. “Can you stand up?”

Eleanor nodded. Woozy from pain, she rose from the desk. It felt like she was underwater, her movements thick and slow. She opened her eyes a crack, looking down at the floor to avoid the fluorescent lights. Mia handed Eleanor her bag and glasses. Jesse offered his hand, and Eleanor took it, grabbing at the walls of the cubicle for support as he led her out of the office.

Jesse stopped and turned to face Mia again. “Uh, tell Ben I’m taking the day off.”

Twenty minutes later, Eleanor was huddled on Jesse’s couch as he brought her a cup of tea. The room was darkened, the lamps turned off to keep from hurting her head. The apartment was cluttered, but cozy--movie posters on the walls, CDs and books piled up around the coffee table and couches, not to mention the wealth of electronics scattered around.

Jesse handed her the cup and tried not to wince. He hated seeing Eleanor like this―her skin too grey, her hands shaking, her beautiful dark eyes dull with pain. He handed her the cup. “Drink this--my mother always made it when I was sick.” Eleanor took a sip, and Jesse glanced at her for her reaction. “You like it?”

Eleanor swallowed. “Yeah, it’s―it’s good. I just….”

Jesse knew that voice―she always had a little hesitation to her speech when she was afraid of inconveniencing someone. “What is it?”

Eleanor set down the cup on the end table. “Something cold sounds better, actually.”

Jesse nodded. “No worries, I’ll get you some ice water. Anything else?”

“And… a cool rag for my head sounds pretty good right now,” she admitted.

“Of course. I’ll be back in a second.”

Jesse dashed out to the apartment’s kitchen and poured a glass of ice water for Eleanor, then took a clean dish rag out of the cupboard and ran it under the faucet. He started wringing it out with more force than what was strictly necessary. The worst part of this whole thing was that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help Eleanor but keep her comfortable. His job as a programmer was all about fixing―tweaking the code, eliminating bugs, changing the programs to function exactly as intended. But this was a bug he couldn’t fix. He hated it.

Jesse returned to the living room along with the glass and cold rag. “Here you go, El.”

Eleanor took a sip and draped the rag on her head, brushing her dark bangs aside. Jesse took a seat on the other end of the couch and tried to let his mind wander. But he was still too fixated on Eleanor’s pain. He found himself looking back at her every minute or so, just to make sure that she was okay.

“You can go do something else if you want,” Eleanor said softly, after a while.

Taking care of you is what I want. “I’m staying here.”

Eleanor nodded.

The afternoon passed by and slowly changed into night, and Jesse’s stomach started to rumble. “I… kinda need some food,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

Eleanor gave a listless shrug. “Still hurts. And I feel a little sick to my stomach.”

Jesse took her hand and rubbed at her knuckles gently. “I’m sorry. Does food sound good or no?”

“I don’t really feel like eating.”

“Okay. Let me know if you want something later, though, yeah?”

“I will.”

Jesse turned on some classical music and thirty minutes later he sauntered out of the kitchen with a bowl of tomato soup.

“I’m sorry,” Eleanor said as he sat down on the couch again.

Jesse’s brows drew together. “For what? You haven’t done anything.”

“I... didn’t want to put you through this whole mess. I… I don’t want to be a burden on you.” She picked at the hem of her blouse.

Jesse set down the soup and looked her straight in the eyes. “Now, I want you to listen to me, El. You are not a burden. Don’t ever think that, okay?”

“Okay.” Eleanor nodded, then rubbed at her temples. “It just hurts so bad.”

“I know.” Jesse gave a sympathetic grimace. “Is there anything that can help take your mind off the pain? Any movies you like, or music? Or maybe… no, that’s a bit silly.”

“What?”

Jesse felt his ears getting hot. “I was going to suggest I could read a book to you, but, you know, if that’s childish or whatever―”

“No, that sounds nice. Really,” Eleanor added, leaning forward earnestly. “You seem like you’d have a good reading voice.”

“Okay. What sounds good?” Jesse got up and walked over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room and started running his index finger down the spines of some of the books. “I have all kinds of novels--mystery, fantasy, a little horror but you probably don’t want that right now….”

“Any fairy tales?”

Her voice was so soft, a bird’s wing brush, that Jesse wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “Sorry, what was that?”

Eleanor blushed and cleared her throat. “Sorry, I, uh, asked if you had any fairy tales.”

Jesse smiled. Look at her, all embarrassed about it. “I think I do, actually. Give me a moment.”

Jesse darted through the door on the opposite side of the living room and into his bedroom. It took a few minutes to locate the book, but eventually he found it stashed under his bed.

He walked back into the living room toting the huge volume and flopped down on the couch beside Eleanor. The cover was dusty, faded pink and green, and embossed with curly gold letters. Jesse rubbed the dust off the cover. “Hans Christian Andersen’s Compendium of Fairy Tales. My favorite as a kid, actually. Here we go.” He flipped to the first page and cleared his throat. “Once upon a time….”

Jesse had no idea how much time passed as he read tale after tale, keeping his voice lilting and soft as to not aggravate Eleanor’s migraine. Eleanor watched the pages turn with her lovely eyes, which seemed to grow just a bit brighter as he read. Eventually, Jesse realized that it was very silent, and looked over. Eleanor had fallen asleep against his arm, her head nestled in the hollow of his shoulder. Her breathing was deep and even.

Jesse didn’t want to disturb her, so he simply stayed like that for a while, listening to the sounds of the night, until the book slipped from his hands and he, too, drifted off with a head full of dreams.

[catzula]

Smile For Me

AN: thank you to the anon who requested Artist Shinsou, it was a really cute idea! I'm sorry for writing the requests really late too but here's a 5.6k fic lol I'm sorry, it's not edited btw cause I'm at holiday and dont know how to write fics on mobile I literally can't :(

Warnings: nope

Genre: fluff

Pairing: shinsou hitoshi x reader

It was a cold day.

You had a sweatshirt on, nothing too thick. The wind was blowing like it was trying to wipe you out the earth. You hugged your body tighter, trying to find some warmth.

The school had let you off early this day since a heavy rain was expected. The logical thing was to go home and do your preparations, but you didn't want to go home just yet, so you had decided to meet one of your friends. You decided you could wait at a park that was near where you were, hoping to find a small Cafe to at least drink something hot, but to your disappointment, nothing similar to what you had in mind was to be seen.

You sighed as you sat on a free bench. You texted your friend to tell her you were sitting at the park, groaning when she told you she was probably going to be late. You leaned forward to take your book out of your bag, trying to forget the cold wind that was sending chills down your body. You wrapped your scarf tighter to your neck, hugging your body with your arms.

You weren't aware of the boy sitting a few meters away from you, a notepad and a pencil in his hands, watching everyone.

***

Shinsou was in a bad mood. He needed to draw something for his art class, but he just couldn't find anything that piqued his interest. He could always draw the baby that was crying in the sand pool, or his mother that was blowing cool air from her mouth to soothe the small wound that was caused from the sand, but none of them looked interesting enough for him to go through and finish a whole piece of art. Maybe the flower standing there could be a reference but-

He sighed. He hadn't slept last night, looking for something to draw. He usually slept very late, but not sleeping at all was a whole new level. His pencil moved over his notepad, though he wasn't drawing anything specific. Shinsou looked at the girl that was sitting on the bench, probably about to freeze to death. People were wearing gloves and winter coats while you only had a sweatshirt and a deep red scarf on. Your eyes fixed on the book you held, your face relaxed, a cute smile now on your lips.

As his eyes wandered over you, he didn't notice his hand starting to outline your figure.

You were lost in your book. You didn't even notice the cold anymore, only when the wind blew your pages did you curse under your breath. When you finished the chapter you were reading, you felt your back hurting and you opened your arms, stretching your body.

Only then did your eyes catch a glimpse of the unruly hair, purple locks defying the gravity in an odd way. He didn't notice you staring at him, he was too concentrated on what was in front of him. He looked like he was drawing something, his eyes, which were the same color as his hair, were fixed on the paper, brows furrowed.

You looked away because if you didn't, he probably would have thought you were a creep, though you could feel your eyes gazing his way every once in a while. You snapped out of your thoughts and just when you were about to keep reading your book, you felt something jump on your lap, making you shriek in surprise.

It was a black cat on your lap, nuzzling its face to you, it sat right on your book as if it was trying to get you to stop reading. You giggled as you pet it, a big smile on your face. You always felt special when cats did this, it felt like you were chosen by some greater good.

You didn't notice the boy across you was watching you as you spoke and giggled to the cat. One of his brows quirked up as he smirked slightly, a girl talking to a cat-like so wasn't something he saw every day.

But maybe it was just what he needed to see.

You were smiling brightly as you talked to the cat, one of the prettiest smiles Shinsou had ever seen. Without taking his eyes off of you, he tried to copy this scene in front of him to the paper.

He was so focused on what he was doing, he didn't even realize you were shivering. He felt like he had seen you before, though he didn't want to waste his time trying to figure out where he had seen you, instead, he was trying to draw that smile of yours, though he just couldn't draw it the way he wanted to.

He just had to see your smile one more time.

But when he lifted his gaze from your sketch to look at you and the cat, you were nowhere to be seen. He stood up without thinking, looking around frantically. He started to run when he saw a glimpse of your deep-red scarf, not even thinking about what to say when he reached you.

When he caught up -he was heaving and his cheeks were red from running- he touched your arm, not sure of what to say. " 'Scuse me."

A deep voice called out, touching your arm slightly. You jumped with surprise but smiled sweetly when you saw it was the guy from the park, the one who was drawing.

"Oh, um, hi." You told him, your smile making his heart beat faster, even though he literally ran with all his might just now. "Did you need something?" You asked, watching him as his hand scratched the back of his neck, moving in his place uncomfortably.

"I- uh, I do need something." He too you as he held his pencil so right, his knuckles turned white. He was never an extroverted person, and what he was doing now was a big blow on his social anxiety.

"Do you have time? I would like to ask you something."

Was this boy asking you out or something? And why did he look so familiar? You could swear you'd seen him quite a lot before, though not really knowing where from. "I'm waiting for my friend, actually. So I have time till she shoves up."

Shinsou was not expecting a positive answer. How was he even supposed to ask you to model for him? Would that be too creepy?

You walked in silence, back to the bench you were sitting at. You were starting to get anxious as he eyed you every once in a while, not saying a word. "I- I'm an art major." He finally started, pulling when you didn't say anything. "I have my finals coming up and I have to draw someone... I saw you talking to the cat just now and I-"

"You saw that?!" You exclaimed, cheeks getting heated as you looked at him wide-eyed. "I- uh, I did. But you see, I think it was really nice and I kinda- actually, let me show you."

Wow, this was going bad, wasn't it?

He held his breath as he opened the notepad in his hands, opening the unfinished sketch he just drew- of you. You gasped as you saw the beautiful drawing, not even acknowledging for a moment that it was you who was smiling and petting a cat, so detailed and so pretty.

"Did you do this now?" You asked him, touching the paper so softly, as it would crumble under your touch with the smallest amount of pressure.

"I did. But I kinda need you to stay a little longer to finish it, I know this is a weird request, but I really need to finish it... So, what do you say? Could you stay a bit longer, not much, just till I finish it?" Your eyes followed his hand as he ran his finger through those purple, soft-looking locks, making you wonder how it would feel like under your hands.

"Wait, you actually want me to model for you?" You asked him, brows borrowing with confusion and disbelief. "Is that weird?" He asked you, a hopeful look in his tired-looking eyes.

"No, I- I mean yes!" Oh, damn, you were awkward. "What I'm trying to say is-" you started, a little calmer, trying to answer with a full sentence this time, "It is very unusual, but probably not as weird as me talking to a cat."

He chuckled at that, a rich sound making your heartbeat a little faster. "Yeah, probably not."

"So does that mean, yes? Will you model for me?" You shrugged as you giggled. "Sure, why not."

He smiled, relief washing over him. "Thank you so much, I can't even tell you how much this helps." He was taking his notepad out but stopped as he saw you trembling like a leaf. "Oh, here." He shook his jacket off his shoulders, handing it to you.

"I can't take this." You told him, wishing you could, "It's yours and it's really cold." Plus, it was your fault you didn't bring a jacket with you and he shouldn't be cold because of your irresponsibleness. "Just take it." He said gruffly, "I'm making you stay here so it's only fair if you took this."

Now that was a solid argument. You accepted the jacket he offered -why did it smell so good? Like soap and a bit like lavender?- and smiled gratefully. "Thank you for that." He shrugged to say it was nothing.

***

Hanging out with Shinsou was better than you had expected. He was such a chill guy, so calm and smart, he didn't talk much but when he did his quick, smart remarks making you admire him a lot.

Even though he had told you it wouldn't take long, the sun was already setting when he was giving the drawing it's last details, though both if you didn't mind it at all. It was supposed to be a quick sketch, all he had to do was to draw the outlines and then he could go on without you, but he just couldn't tell that to you, afraid you'll leave.

He was having fun, too much fun, to let you go. He never thought having a chat with some stranger -who talked to cats, too- would turn out to be so fun. And you were nice. So nice that he felt like he could tell you anything, and you wouldn't judge him, which was a feeling foreign to him.

As he scribbled the last pieces of shadings -he knew he was just adding useless details now- he felt a weird weight in his chest. He didn't want you to go, wanted you to stay with him, and talk even more. He was a quiet guy, in contrast to you -you talked a lot of he was going, to be honest, but he thought of it as adorable and even though it was mostly you talking and him listening, it was obvious both of you liked the presence of each other.

At some time, your friend had canceled, telling you she couldn't make it and she was really sorry, but it hadn't bothered you the least. In reality, you were glad you got to spend more time with him.

You gave him your scarf at one point, and he looked so cute, his face wrapped with a deep red scarf, the color matching his cheeks.

"It's really pretty." You told him, caressing the paper with your finger. "It's you who makes it pretty." He answered, causing your cheeks to heat up.

"I don't know how to answer that." You finally told him after a long silence. Your blunt answer made him giggle, once again scratching his neck, making your heart flutter.

"It was really nice to meet you." You let out, sad that you have to go, and that you'll probably never see him again. "It was really nice to meet you too, and you have no idea how much this helped." He answered though he looked like he wanted to say something else.

"Maybe I'll see you around, you know if you ever come here again." He mumbled, eyes looking at yours awaiting. "Sure." You smiled brightly, happy that you weren't the only one that wanted to meet again. You looked at the sweatshirt you were wearing, the one that belonged to him and was too big for you. "I should give this back."

But instead of taking it, he shook his head. "It's still very cold. You can give it to me the next time we see each other." You smiled, the idea of having some kind of excuse to see him again making your heart hammer your chest. "Then you should keep my scarf too, and I'll have it back when I give you your sweatshirt back."

He smiled too, touching the scarf like it was made of gold. You stood up, your legs sore from sitting for so long. "I should go now, it's getting pretty late." You told him as you looked at the drawing he did one last time. It really was pretty.

"Yeah, I guess." He really shouldn't have felt this bad. "See you around?"

"Yeah, promise you'll have your sweatshirt back." You giggled and turned your back, making your way back to your home, an odd feeling finding it's way to your heart.

Shinsou watched you leave, the same feeling you were experiencing, sending shivers down his spine.

***

It had been a week since you saw Shinsou. And oddly enough you missed him.

You could visit the park only once since that day, disappointed that he wasn't there. You weren't really sure if he had ever visited the park too, wondering if he had thought of you as often as you thought of him.

He probably didn't, and you were making a fool of yourself, but you just couldn't stop, couldn't make the thought of him just go away, though his smell from his sweatshirt was already going away.

You sighed, not being able to focus on your lesson. When the bell finally rang, you stood up, stretching your body as you saw your friend coming next to you. "Hey, what's up-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" She screamed- asked, earning glares from other people in the class. "How could you hide this from me?" Her hands were on your shoulders, shaking you with every word that left her lips.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, confused.

"Oh, come on, don't play dumb now." She told you, though still not saying anything that has the slightest bit of explanation.

"I literally have no idea what you're referring to." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she eyed you suspiciously. "Wait, " her eyes widened when she realized you meant what you said. "You really don't know?"

"Nope." You answered.

"Oh my God." She started giggling, making you a little scared of what was happening. "Are you going to tell me now?"

"No way." She answered between her giggles. "I'll show it to you instead." Now, if that wasn't the most suspicious thing you've heard, you didn't know what was. "I'd really rather you tell me." You told her, though you knew she wouldn't tell you even if you begged on your knees. "Oh come on." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You know I would never tell you. Just wait for a little and see for yourself."

You sighed but didn't say anything, knowing it wouldn't be anything other than wasting your breath. "Okay, whatever. Show it to me." You sighed.

She grinned as she tugged at your wrists, pulling you in a direction. You let her lead you for at least 15 minutes, you had left the campus, entering the main campus, and then the art gallery.

You knew the art majors were exhibiting their finals projects in here, though you never really had the time to come and look at them. "What are we doing here?" You asked her, but she ignored your question, leading your way in the halls of the maze-like halls of the gallery.

And then she suddenly stopped, making you lose your balance by doing so. "Why did we-" you choked on your words as you lifted your gaze up, looking at the piece of art on the wall.

It was a charcoal drawing, a big one at that. Black and white had so many tones between them, shading was so professional, so detailed and so beautiful, it was like the art was alive, you could swear you might see it moving if you looked closely. But it wasn't the beauty of the art that had you in shock, it was what was on it.

You.

You were in the painting. Talking to a cat.

You knew this drawing, you knew it very well, that was because you had spent every second of the last week, thinking about the artist who drew it.

You turned to your friend, who was watching you with a knowing smirk. "You have to be kidding me." You mumbled. He was at your school? How was that even... Was that why he looked so familiar?

"How is this... Wh- Who did this?" You asked, finally able to say a whole sentence. Her nose scrunched in confusion. "You mean you don't know?"

You shook your head.

"It's Shinsou Hitoshi from 2-A." She answered. "I thought you knew him."

"I do know him." You told her. "But I didn't know- I didn't know we were in the same school, or that he was a grade older than me. I didn't even know he was..." You gulped. "I need to go." You told her, leaving her with many questions to be answered.

"Wait, where are you going?!" She screamed after you.

***

You were running, though you hadn't even stopped to think for a second. What were you even going to tell him when you found him?

Hey, it's me, the girl you drew as an art project? The girl talking to a cat? We met a week ago, I still have your sweatshirt, might be nice to have my scarf back too. You remember me, right?

Yeah, probably wouldn't work out, would it? You decided it was the best to go with the flow -it really isn't- and didn't stop to even think for a second.

You entered the art building, feeling the eyes of the students on you, though you weren't sure if it was because you looked like you were running for your dear life, or maybe it was because you were the girl on the art that obviously everyone saw.

You didn't care about the looks they were sending at you and ran until you stood in front of the door you were looking for.

2/A.

Now that you were finally able to stop and breathe, and actually think about what you were doing, you thought maybe this wasn't a really good idea. You had no idea what to say, you weren't sure if it would actually go with the flow either, and you just didn't know how he would react.

But most of all, you were a little disappointed that you haven't seen him that one the time you visited the park. Did he even ever visit? Yes, maybe you only visited once, but he wasn't there, was he? And maybe it was just dumb to expect anything from-

"Oh, hi!" You heard a girl's voice from behind you. It was a brunette girl who was looking at you with a wide smile, her brown eyes the biggest pair of eyes you had ever seen and she had the sweetest face. "Hi, I was looking for-" You mumbled back, feeling shy, but couldn't even finish your sentence.

"Oh my God, 'Chako isn't that the girl?!" Another girl came running towards you, a big smile and wide eyes on her face as she shouted at the girl talking to you. She had a pink-tinted face, like she was blushing constantly, but it looked cute nevertheless. The brunette nodded like they were sharing some big secret, though the secret was more than necessary at this point.

"You're looking for Hitoshi, right?" The pinkish faced girl asked, her hands holding yours as she jumped in her place.

"Well, I- uhh, I was looking for Shinsou." You told her and she giggled when you couldn't call him by his first name. "Oh my God, you're too cute! I'm Mina, by the way, " she informed you as she tugged you from your wrists to the class. "Come on, he's in here."

When you entered the class, more like pushed from the back by Mina, you lost your balance slightly, recovering quickly. You cod feel everyone looking at you, wondering who you were or why you were here. Though a few of them looked like they knew what was going on, watching you with big interest. You scanned the room for one specific pair of indigo eyes. And you found him, your heart beat picking up almost instantly.

He was there. Sitting in his desk, he had his earbuds in and was looking at his phone with tired eyes, his purple hair hidden under his hoodie. As you saw him just sitting there, you thought maybe this was a bad idea. What if he simply didn't want to see you? Both of you didn't know you were in the same school, and what if he thought you were creepy or clingy or...

His gaze lifted from his phone only for a glance to see why his friends were suddenly so quiet, only to see you standing in front of the door, cheeks tinted red and looking very uncomfortable. Shinsou's eyes widened as he put his phone on his desk and stood up. Looking like he couldn't believe you were there, standing just a few meters away from him, he slowly got closer to you.

When he stopped in front of you, he still looked like he couldn't believe his eyes. "H-hey." You told him, smiling anxiously. Everyone in the class was watching you both, and neither of you felt the slightest bit comfortable there. "You wanna go somewhere more... Private?" He finally asked, ignoring his friend's giggles and 'ooohhhh"'s.

"Oh, yeah, that would be amazing." You answered, letting him lead you out of the class. After a short walk, you found a quiet place, looking at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"I didn't know you were in this school."

"I saw the drawing."

Both of you talked at the same time, making you giggle. "How did you find me?" He asked, his words setting a horrible feeling down your chest. Did he?...

"Y-you didn't want me to find you?" His eyes widened when he realized how his words sounded like. "No! I- I'm actually really happy you did, I was pretty sad when you didn't show up at the park." He mumbled, he seemed so sincere about his words, it caused you to blush. "You went back to the park?" The words tumbled out of your mouth with a much more hopeful tone than you would like.

He scratched the back of his neck anxiously. "I- I did. But you weren't there, so I thought you didn't - uhh, didn't want to see me." His cheeks slightly tinted pink, indigo eyes looking at everywhere but you, you couldn't help but think how adorable he looked.

"I visited the park too." You answered, noticing how close he was, all of a sudden. You could feel his soapy lavender smell, making your heart beat faster and faster with every second.

"I found you because of the drawing." You finally answered his question. "I was there with my friend, and she told me you were the artist." That wasn't exactly true, but you weren't lying either, right? Though he didn't seem to be listening either, his gaze fixed on your lips, smirking.

"I probably should thank your friend, then." He answered, making you chuckle. "Maybe you should."

***

Epilogue

"I really can't believe you're going on a date with Shinsou Hitoshi." Your friend repeated for the 100th time as she applied some highlighter to your cheeks.

"I can't either." You answered, feeling all giddy inside. It didn't take long for Shinsou to ask you out after you both found each other, and almost everyone knew about how you met now. Your friends eyes wandered over you.

"I understand everything but that sweatshirt, " she told you, face scrunched with disapproval, "you really can't wear that to a first date, you know." She told you, looking at the sweatshirt on you like it was the ugliest thing in the world but you ignored it. It might not be the prettiest thing you had, but it had history and you secretly liked wearing it, the lavender smell calming your nerves.

"I'm gonna be late." You told her, standing up when she finished the make up. As you arrived to the Cafe Shinsou and you decided to meet at you felt anxiety and excitement washing over you.

It wasn't far from your campus, making it easier for both of you. As you entered the Cafe, a smell of ground coffee filled your senses. Your eyes wandered around, looking for one particular head of purple hair.

You smiled when you saw him, all wrapped up in your red scarf you had given him, the biggest smile on his face when he saw you wearing his sweatshirt.

He thought you looked like a piece of art.

[pankows-girl]

What Happens When Pogues Mack Ch.1 - JJ Maybank

Summary: Y/N finds out she’s pregnant.

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: Cursing, pregnancy, angst

Requested: Yes

A/N: i tried to make this as angsty as possible. i hope its somewhat decent because i kept rewriting certain areas. also as usual i was kinda too lazy to go through and edit so there might be a few mistakes. more jj fics to come soon! Part 2 maybe?

[Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3]

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!” You heard right before getting smacked in the face with a pillow. Kie laughed above you, bouncing on the bed next to you.

You groaned in annoyance, grabbing the pillow and throwing it at her. She dodged it and plopped down next to you. “I am never sleeping over at your house again,” You scowled at her jokingly. Kid smiled in response, poking you in the side.

Suddenly your stomach churned and your scowled contorted into a grimace. Kie watched concerned as you jumped off the bed, cradling your stomach and covering your mouth as you ran to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat before emptying the contents of your stomach in it. Your eyes water and you use one of you hands to hold back your hair and the other to support yourself.

This was the third morning in a row that you woke up sick and you thought it was just the flu or something but now you weren’t so sure. You tried to remember the last time you had gotten your period and came up empty. You were definitely late for it and a million thoughts crossed your mind before you called out for Kie.

“Are you ok, Y/N?” She questioned. 

“Shit,” you breathed out beginning to panic. “Kie! Get it here now! Please!”

Kie ran into the bathroom as fast as she could, accidentally kicking the door frame with her foot. “Fuck, shit!” She cried out. “What’s wrong?”

“Kie, I think I might be pregnant,” You said, voice quivering slightly.

 She froze in place, whipping her head around to stare at you. Her eyes looked like they were ready to pop out of her head in shock. You looked away from her scrutinizing gaze, feeling ashamed of yourself.

“Ok, don’t freak out. We’ll go get a test so we can be positive. Well hopefully not positive ‘cause you know…” Kie trailed off. You would have laughed at her awkwardness had you not been freaking out.

The two of you rushed to the shop and back to Kiara’s house as fast as possible. You went to the bathroom, holding the bag with the pregnancy test in hand and closed the door behind you for some privacy. You took the box out and opened it. 

You stared at the test for a minute before you worked up the courage to get down to business. You pulled down your pants and sat in the toilet ready to pee on the stick and get this whole thing over with. After you finish you wash your hands and set a timer in your phone until the results are ready. You let Kie into the bathroom to wait with you.

The timer went off and your eyes were filled with unshed tears at this point, threatening to spill over at any given moment. You almost couldn’t bring yourself to look, too scared of what the result would be. You stared down at the pregnancy test in your hand. It showed two thin lines that took your breath away and not in a good way. You felt like you were gonna be sick again. Shakily, you passed it to Kie to examine. 

Kie took the test in her hands, eyes widening as she looked at the results. “Y/N… It’s positive,” She said, giving you a look of sympathy. 

You shook your head, tears in your eyes. You. How could you take care of a baby when you could barely take care of yourself? You started to cry, feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Kie set the test on the counter and pulled you into her arms as tears streamed down your face. 

“How are you gonna tell JJ?” Kie asked carefully, knowing the two of you had been ‘sneaking around.’ It wasn’t really a secret between the Pogues that you and JJ were together. They didn’t seem to mind either, despite it breaking the rule of no pogues macking on other pogues, because they knew how much you liked each other and were good for one another. 

You sobered up, freezing in Kiara’s embrace. You had no idea how you were going to tell him or how he would react to you being pregnant with his child. You were just kids and could barely even take care of yourselves let alone a baby. JJ already had enough on his plate having to pay off his restitution and avoid his dad's wrath, you were worried how he would take the news.

“I don’t know, Kie,” You sighed. “What if I tell him and he freaks out?”

Kie bites her lip. JJ has never been known to act rationally when it came to such serious things but she also knew how he felt about you. He loved you, anyone could see that. And she just hoped that JJ’s reaction proved it. 

Later that day Kiara dropped you off at home and you texted JJ to meet you there. You flopped down on your bed waiting for him to arrive. You and Kiara both agreed that you should tell JJ the news straight up no matter what. There was no point in beating around the bush, especially since soon you wouldn’t be able to hide it after your baby bump started to show.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard tapping on your window. You roll out of bed when you see it's just JJ. You told him to go through the front door since no one else was home but like usual he didn’t listen. His hand brushes against yours as he climbs inside your room and your heart starts to beat so loudly in your chest you’re sure JJ can hear it too.

“Why didn’t you use the door?”

“Sneaking in through your window makes me feel like a badass,” JJ said laughing. He sat down on your bed, patting the seat next to him. “So, you said you had something important to tell me or did you just miss me?”

You ignored his invitation to sit down, biting your lip as you practiced what you were about to say in your head.

“Y/N?” JJ said when you didn’t respond.

“JJ, I’m pregnant.”

You stared at the floor, unable to meet his eyes. He didn’t say anything and you wondered if he had disappeared into thin air. You wished a hold would open up underneath you and swallow you whole or maybe even for another store to come and wash everything away because anything would be better than JJ’s silence.

“Are you sure?” He asks hesitantly and you nod, still not having the courage to look at him. “Fuck. What are we gonna do? We’re just a couple of Pogues who don’t know shit about taking care of a kid.” JJ hopped off the bed and began pacing.

“JJ, hey,” You said, trying to get him to look at you. “It’s fine. We'll be fine.”

“I’m not ready to be a dad, I can’t.” He declared, finally looking at you for the first time since you told him you were pregnant.

“You think that I’m ready to be a mom? Hell no, but it doesn’t mean I can’t do this,” You said hoping to get through to him. “I’m keeping the Baby, JJ.”

“No, no. I can’t do this with you right now. I’m sorry but I have to go.”

You watched JJ as he dashed out of your room. “You’re just gonna walk away like that?” You yelled at his back. “Well fuck you then! I don’t need you!”

He did walk away just like that, slamming your front door behind him. You scoffed, now he wanted to use the fucking door. You heard the door open a moment later and you ran out of your room hoping JJ changed his mind and came back. Instead you saw your mom and younger sister, faces filled with confusion. You didn’t even notice you were crying until your mother had her arms around you, wiping your fallen tears away.

You hugged her back tightly. Your heart was broken into a million pieces, your worst fear had come true when JJ walked out on you. Ever since your dad left you mom for some rich kook woman you had been afraid of the same thing happening to you. JJ knew that too and he still left. Maybe that’s what hurt the most.

“Mom, I’m so sorry,” You cried out. “I didn’t mean to, I swear and h-he, JJ, got upset and he left. Oh my god, he just left.” You cried some more as your mom comforted you. You felt like your throat was closing as you choked on your tears.

“Go get your sister some water,” Your mom told you little sister. “It’s ok, baby. I got you.”

Your sister returned with the water and you drank it all within a matter of seconds as your mother guided you back to your room. She crawled on the bed with you, placing the blanket over you and stroked your hair. 

“Mommy, I’m pregnant,” You whispered. You expected her to get mad like JJ did but she didn’t. Instead she wrapped your arms around you and whispered reassurances to you. She said that JJ would come around and it might take some time but to trust him. You really hoped that she was right because you didn’t know what you would do without him.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, grateful for your mom who never left your side until the morning. She gave you some tips on how to help with morning sickness and went to make breakfast for the family. You didn’t feel like getting out of bed or even eating but you forced yourself to get ready for the day. You opened your window, hoping a little fresh air would help get you out of your slump.

You took a quick shower, most of which you spent feeling your tummy, unable to imagine a tiny baby growing inside of you. The hot water felt good on your skin and you wished you never had to get out but of course you did. You threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt of JJ’s that he had left over one night. It still smelled like him and it made you want to cry.

When you walked back in your room you saw JJ trying to sneak into your room through the window and it scared the shit out of you. “What the fuck, JJ?”

“Y/N, please hear me out,” JJ pleaded, staring at you. His eyes were filled with determination and you knew he wouldn’t give up without a fight. You crossed your arms in response. “I’m so sorry for how I reacted. I was being fucking stupid and I was scared. You’ve seen how my dad is and I guess I was just afraid I’d end up just like him. I never want my kid to grow up with a deadbeat dad like I did. I wanna be here for you. For our baby.”

Your lip quivered at his confession, feeling heartbroken at the truth about how he felt. From the moment you met JJ you knew he was special and for him to think he could ever be like his father was a punch to the gut. He was the sweetest, kindest person you ever had the pleasure of knowing and you knew with your whole heart that JJ would ever end up like that monster.

“Don’t ever think that of yourself again. You’re going to be a great father,” You sniffled, clutching the material of his shirt in your hand before pulling him into your arms. You clung to him like a baby, your tears wetting his lips as you pulled him into a kiss. JJ had a few tears of his own streaming down his cheeks and you wiped them away, holding JJ’s chin in your hand and turned his face to look at you. “I love you, JJ. I’m so happy you came back.”

“I’m never leaving you again, pretty girl.” JJ murmured. “It was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Your bedroom door creaked open and your mom stuck her head in. “Breakfast is ready if you-,” She started but stopped when she saw JJ. She smiled at you both before giving JJ a look that said ‘you better not hurt my daughter again,’ and closing the door on her way out. She was happy to see the two of you making up. JJ was a good kid and she knew you loved each other very much so for now she would let you be and save the safe sex lecture for later even though now it was far too late for that.

“Does your mom know?” JJ asked nervously.

“Why? Thinking about backing out again?” You teased.

JJ shook his head. “No, not by choice at least. Just want to make sure your mom doesn’t murder. Did you see the death stare she gave me?”

“You’ll be fine,” You laughed, patting his chest.

“I can’t believe we’re gonna have a baby! Our own baby Pogue!” JJ chortled, spinning you around the room. He pulled you into a kiss and you both laughed in excitement.

The next few days that followed consisted of you and JJ telling the rest of the Pogues besides Kiara, who already knew, that you were pregnant. They took it surprisingly well and you figured Kiara might have let something slip so that they had some time to process you and JJ together before freaking out when you told them.

JJ also would not stop saying “damn my baby momma is fine!” any chance he got. He felt immense pride knowing you were carrying his child and he would let the whole world know if he could. He loved you with his whole being and he would continue to for the rest of his life. Not only you, but your child as well. JJ realized that he finally had the chance at the family he always wanted and he knew would do anything he had to make it work. He thought back to when you and him started sneaking around. He was the one who initiated the relationship, breaking the no pogues macking on other pogues rule, not caring about the consequences. He surely didn’t think it was you pregnant but now that he knew what happens when pogues mack, he still didn’t regret a single thing. He was finally happy.

Tag List: @roguesjj @1-800-imagines @givejjmaybankahug  @jesssuperwholock03 @omgdani17 @styles-xoxo @katherine097​ @anxiouslesbiansblog​

[sleepingcrisis]

Cherry and Adam taking Langa out for fathers day and being bad parents 😎

This one definitely needs a lot of editing but I really don't think Cherry and Adam would be good at stepping into a parental role, or maybe normally they would but knowing that it is purposeful I think they would just kinda fall apart. My Adam is probably super ooc but in my defense I haven't really written these three together before.

Anyway I didn't edit this at all!!!! Sorry if it is illegible :)

*****

"Well it is his first year without his father," Reki mentioned after having reluctantly approaching Adam and Cherry. Did he like Adam guy? No, not really. Reki was a laid back guy but not laid back enough to be completely okay after what happened during their beef. Yeah yeah — anything goes at S so he had basically been asking for it — but that didn't mean he had to be friendly with the guy. Still. He knew that Langa, one; thought Cherry and Adam were badasses, and two; had grown quite close with them.

"He might just want to be home alone then," Cherry pointed out. As rough as that sounded it wasn't like it was there place to get involved in his grieving process.

"He doesn't," Reki insisted.

"Sure little Red —"

"He asked me to go out with him," Reki explained, "He asked me to go skating but my family wants me to stay home."

"So you want us to take him out?" Adam asked with a small grin on his face.

"Don't be weird about it Adam," Cherry elbowed him before crossing his arms and considering it.

"Please?" Reki asked.

"Fine, fine, we will see if he wants to go out—"

"Thanks!"

And with that their fate was sealed.

***

That is how they ended up in Cherry’s car. Cherry and Adam sitting in the front with Langa in the back as he listened to the two discuss...

"What are you two talking about?" Langa asked. He couldn't hear them over the radio. Maybe that was the point.

After a few taps on the shoulders he finally got them to turn it down.

"What are you two talking about?" He asked again.

"Just trying to figure out what we should do," Cherry explained. Covering for what their actual conversation had been about.

"Skating would have been fine," Langa said.

"Well we should shake it up a little," Adam mentioned and decided he was going to strangle Joe for talking them into not just going skating.

"Alright, if you say so," Langa didn't seem to believe that either of the devoted skaters cared much if they shook it up or not.

Awkward silence passed. Silence that normally would have been filled by one of their louder friends. Adam was a completely different person without the mask on. Hair slicked back and a dress shirt and dress pants on (apparently this was him dressing casual though). Then Cherry was in a navy yukata and his hair was in some complicated half up half down look. Neither of them knew how to dress casually. Langa resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he leaned against the door.

"Is there anything you wanted to do Langa?" Cherry eventually caved. Neither of them wanted to ask, but they also just didn't know what to do with him.

"...Can we go get something to eat?" Langa suggested.

"Yeah sure," Adam chuckled softly. He supposed they should have known that much. This also bought them time to find something else for them to do afterwards.

When asked where he wanted to eat Langa said he didn't really care. This might have been a mistake since Cherry wanted to go to Sia la Luce for lunch and Adam mentioned some fancy place that sounded expensive enough to the point that Langa might feel bad about them paying.

"Where did you two go when you weren't so—" he is about to say 'old' but doesn't know if that will cause them to spiral into a midlife crisis and doesn't want to risk it. "When you were my age?" He finishes instead.

This is how he finds out that the two have always had quite a lot of money.

"Well my parents would never let me put processes crap into my stomach..." is how Cherry starts before going on some long talk about how processed food is bad for you before eventually listing some sushi place.

"Yeah," Adam agrees, "and I wouldn't be caught dead at—"

Langa doesn't let him finish since most of those places will probably be places he frequents.

"You two both knew Joe when you were younger right? Where would he drag you—"

"Most often to his house," Cherry explains.

This is how Langa ends up deciding as he carefully knocks his forehead against the window of the door.

A&W is probably on the list of places that Adam wouldn't be caught dead in, and considering how they go through the drive through as opposed to inside, Langa decides that he is right.

Regardless, they get their food (Langa orders for all of them after Cherry asks about their healthier options) and leave. Langa let's them find a place to park when Cherry doesn't want them eating in the car and they wind up at an old drive-in. It is run down and the edge looks out over some water.

"Why would you bring us here?" Adam asked in a hushed voice.

"I like coming here sometimes," Cherry fills in quietly.

Langa just knows that there is more to this place then what he is aware of. It isn’t just some run down place. Marks left from skateboarding proves that. He doesn't question it though. Doesn't dig up old memories that they seem to believe are best left forgotten, maybe normally he would. Today of all days though? He isn't sure he should have even left the house. Instead he sits on the curb as he eats and sighs softly when Adam and Cherry walk off to the railing to go talk.

Langa hates to admit it when his mother is right but she is indeed correct that he found it hard to let in any sort of father-like presence in his life after his dad died. Until today he never thought of it like that though. He didn't have to look at the adult males in his life and think that the way Cherry scolds, or the way Adam seeks a thrill, or the way Joe seems to always have a handle on a situation, or the way Shadow is able to cheer him up in his own weird way, or the way Oka is always ready to talk were anything like his father. Now it is all glaringly obvious, but at least it is countered by how out of depth they are. How they clearly don't know what they are doing. How could they? This isn't their fault. They are trying and Langa is old enough, nearly an adult, that he shouldn't need this. And he likes to think he doesn't.

He chuckled softly at the thought because, what the hell had they done so far that make it seem like they are helping?

Langa eats his food and cleans his face before taking in a breath and pushing himself back up so he could go see what Cherry and Adam decided to do since clearly they didn't want to eat.

"You know it doesn't taste that bad, although your body might go into shock," Langa said. He is joking but the other two don't seem to catch onto it.

"You two really are rich—" Langa is about to make fun of their years growing up when he catches a glimpse of the water. It is hot out and the light reflecting off of it is blinding. He wants to jump in though. He wants nothing more then to jump in and let the cold water freeze him.

So he begins to kick his shoes off and undo the buttons.

"What are you doing?" Cherry asked. He looks like he is about to scold. About to tell Langa to keep his clothes on and put his shoes back on.

"I don't want to get my clothes off," Langa replies.

"Langa you are going to have to swim a long way to climb back up—" Adam is the one scolding him now. Trying to make him see reason so he doesn't jump off the edge of the drive in.

"Carry my clothes over then?" Langa suggests and pushed his shirt into Adam’s hand.

"Langa—"

"Oh the two biggest adrenaline junkies at S are scared of getting wet," Langa starts. He is in some kind of mood today apparently because he doesn't stop there, "Joe would jump in, and Joe would have eaten the food I chose and he wouldn't have argued over where to eat. In fact, Shadow and Oka probably would too."

Langa is climbing over the railing and before a reply can be said he jumps out.

"The idiot doesn't even care to check how deep the water is," Cherry grumbled.

"Oh because you did when we were growing up?" Adam asked with an eye roll. He grabs Langa’s shoes and soon the two are heading around to where a ladder dips down into the water so that Langa knows where to go.

It is a mistake though because when they do make their way over Langa is grinning at the two.

"You found the ladder very quick."

"We have been here before," Adam defended.

"In the water or just looking at it?" Langa asked. There was sarcasm in his voice that normally wasn't there.

"Don't answer that," Cherry said to Adam since that was a trap.

"Cherry and Joe convinced me into it back when we were younger," Adam explained against Cherry’s wishes. He smiled slightly and set Langa’s clothes down.

"And you two can't do that now because..?"

"Because it will wreck our clothes and this isn't where we are supposed to be swimming. Besides have you ever tried to swim in a yukata?" Cherry countered.

"Only that last point is valid," Langa decided.

"You certainly got a mouth when little Red isn't here to speak for you hm?" Adam suggested as he sat on the edge. A dangerous choice.

"His name is Reki, he doesn't like you calling him that," Langa informed.

"He lets Joe—"

"That is different," Langa cut Adam off before he could argue.

"Alright, alright," Adam put up his hands defensively as Cherry sat down next to him. Well not right next to him, it was a safe distance so he couldn't be pushed in.

They were like this for awhile. Langa swimming around in water that was most likely freezing while he chatted away with Adam and Cherry. It was mainly the two adults filling empty space as he listened though.

He swam and swam and swam until the cold water had numbed him and the chattering of his teeth had ceased. At least now he wasn't thinking about anything other then — wait, what were the other two talking about? He wasn't sure he cared.

"Langa? You look cold, I think it is time to get out," one of their voices came.

He turned to argue but when they both saw the state he was in they looked worried.

So he let them help him out without pulling them in like he originally intended. Cherry brought the car around and took a blanket out of the trunk before he had a chance to put his clothes back on. Instead they helped him dry off and once he was wrapped up in the blanket he sat in the back with his shoes and shirt off to the side.

"Thanks," Langa muttered as he began to realize how cold he was. It wasn't the same as the chill of a Canadian winter, but still.

"Yeah no problem," Cherry whispered as Adam stepped away to have a smoke.

"Did I stress him out?" Langa asked.

"No it isnt like that, he just hasn't had a smoke since we picked you up and he has been addicted since we were teens," Cherry supplied with a soft chuckle.

"I don't care if he smokes around me," Langa mumbled.

"I guess he is just trying to be considerate."

A breeze passed by.

A breeze that had Langa shivering again.

"We should get going," Cherry mumbled and went to turn up the heat and get into the front seat again.

Once they have Adam back into the car Langa convinces them to eat (in Cherry’s car too) as they begin to head out. Cherry suggests Sia la Luce since apparently Miya will be around and Langa agrees immediately.

It isn’t that he wants this to be over, but he knows they are out of their comfort zone. They all are.

Still... it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

[kuronanox]

Childhood promises - Hisagi Shuhei

"Shuhei wake up! It's snowing!" (Your Name) says putting on her torn up shoes while running outside. Rukongai in the winter was harsh and they were poor but it didn't mean they weren't happy.

"I'm coming!" He calls out putting on his robe and touching the white floor.

She was playing with the snow and smiling. He shyly watched. "Come on!" She yelled out and grabbed his hand.

"Ahh!" He protested and stood next to her and she smiled.

"Let's make something!"

They made a snowman and laughed as it fell apart from their poor attempt of it.

"I'm hungry (Your Name)." He says clutching his stomach.

With a worried face she walks back into their house and looks at what they had left. "Here eat this."

It was the last of their rice balls they had.

"But you won't be able to have any."

(Your Name) smiles and gives it to Shuhei anyways. "It's okay eat it."

Looking at the rice ball he broke it in half.

"Thanks." She smiles and eats it in one bite.

Shuhei zones out in the office and smiles sadly to himself. He had missed (Your Name) deeply and regret being a weak friend at the time.

He remembered he thought of her as family, they had no one. Although she was 5 years older than him (Your Name) worked hard for them.

Shuhei remember she worked at a small stall in rukongai and she made enough money for them to live enough to survive. Although they starved from time to time they were happy.

Kensei walks in with papers and places them on Shuhei desk. "Need these done by tomorrow."

"Okay Captain."

Kensei stares at Shuhei and walks out the office. He noticed that his Vice Captain had been spacing out recently but he didn't want to push any matters that were unnecessary.

"Are you okay (Your Name)?" Shuhei asks with teary eyes as he watched her wrapped a cut she got from work that day. "I'm okay thanks."

She smiles and sets down some hot soup she warmed up, although there was no rice today.

"What did you do while I was gone?"

"I played out in the fields with some friends."

"Fun, I'm glad you made it back safe."

"Actually... we were almost killed by a hollow."

"What?! Shuhei you could have gotten killed!"

He looks down and starts to cry. "I know, I'm sorry I was so scared. I couldn't do nothing. It was so big and strong. I didn't want to leave you either."

(Your Name) pulls him to an embrace like a mother would and kissed his head. "It's okay you are safe now."

"I met a Captain, and he saved my life. It made me realize that I wanna be a Shinigami when I'm older. I can take care of us and get strong!"

(Your Name) laughs and ruffle his messy hair. "Okay one day, promise me."

"I promise!"

The next morning they were rudely awakened when their door was knocked down and a group of men came in.

Shuhei eyes frighten as (Your Name) became alert and pulled him behind her.

"Your the bitch that sold us the fake metal." One said and grabbed her harshly.

"(Your Name)!" Shuhei yells and runs after her but she stops him.

"Don't come after me!"

He panics and watches as she struggles to get off the grip of the men. They were dragging her somewhere unknown.

"Leave her alone!" Shuhei screams and grabs the stick to hit the men.

Shuhei was sent flying a few feet in the air as they punched him and his nose bleed. He wanted to cry but he was losing (Your Name).

As they dragged her off Shuhei was left with one other dude as he beat Shuhei black and purple.

Lying on the floor (Your Name) was out of sight as he cried and ran to find her.

He screamed and fell to the ground.

Shuhei grips his hand in a fist as he laid in bed looking at the ceiling. He thought about (Your Name) wondering if she ever survived.

Rubbing his eyes he pushed the tears threatening to fall. She had sacrificed everything for them and he couldn't even save her that day.

The next morning Shuhei walked into the publishing office and greeted everyone with a smile. It was a new day and new opportunities waited for him.

"Me and Renji are giving some rookies a tour of Soul Society wanna join me?" Kira asks him as Shuhei had to pass. "Um nah seems kinda boring but good luck though!"

(Your Name) ended up stuck with a group of new comers like her as they toured the place, the blonde dude was kinda bland and gloomy but he showed everyone the important stuff which was the only thing that mattered.

"What squad do you wanna join?" A girl as her as she looked around amazed at the place.

"I'm not sure yet! I guess any that accepts me!"

Passing all the barracks Kira goes into the editing room. "And this is where we publish all the paper work, stories and headlines. The head of editor and chief is Lieutenant of Squad 9."

Shuhei greets everyone and smiles talking about how fun and hard working the publishers are.

(Your Name) looks at him with confusion. He didn't state his name but he looked familiar to her. "My name is Hisagi Shuhei! I can't wait to see what squad everyone joins!"

"What a minute? That's!"

"Okay everyone follow me." Kira boringly says and walks them out as she turns to find Shuhei but he was already gone talking to a few coworkers.

"I guess I'll catch up to him at another time. He's so grown now."

She smiles knowing that he successfully took care of himself. Although the scar and 69 was new.

"(Your Name)?" Shuhei calls out as she washes the rice for them that night.

"Yes?"

"Will you ever leave me for someone else?"

She tilted her head in confusion and laughs. "What do you mean?"

"Like if a guy came and you liked him."

"No silly, we have each other."

"Promise?"

"I promise! Trust me when you get older all the ladies will swoon for you."

"He's so hot!" A few girls giggled to themselves as they continued the tour.

By night time came they entered a dorm place for all new comers. Tomorrow was the day that they picked their squad whether they wanted to be in it or not.

(Your Name) was placed under the 6th squad, which to her seem pretty good because her Captain was a noble and everyone seemed fairly strong. Although she wasn't nearly as good as a seated officer she didn't mind working her way up.

"Abarai Fukutaicho?" She calls out one day as he turns to her. "Um? Do you know where I can talk to Shuhei?"

"Uh?? You mean like the Lieutenant from squad 9? Are y'all close like that?"

"Yes, I'm his childhood friend. We lost contact a long time ago but I just found him."

Renji was bewildered, he didn't know much about Shuhei past but it sounded a lot like him and Rukia so he couldn't reject her.

"Yeah I'll let him know."

Shuhei was in the middle of a rush when Renji walked in. "Yo! Someone was asking for you!"

"Not now! I'm kinda busy." Shuhei states skimming through the papers rangiku messed up on.

"It's (Your Name) she really wants to see you." Renji says as Shuhei drops the papers and looks up shocked. "You mean it?!"

"Yes, like she's in my squad and everything."

"Where?! Where is she!" Shuhei yells with a big smile on his face as he gets up from his desk.

"Woah woah calm down!" She's over at the fields training-" without letting Renji finish his sentence he made a run for it.

Renji smiles and scoffs. He was happy knowing that the reunion was going to be a good one.

Shuhei saw her with her sword training hard as she sweated and concentrated on her spiritual energy. "(Your Name)!" He yells out as she turns to him.

She smiles and ran towards him as they pull each other in a embrace.

"Shuhei! You're so grown now!" She says and he crushes her with his inhuman strength now. "Well you're so tiny!"

They let go as they both couldn't stop smiling. "How?" He says as she sat on the grass as he took a seat next to her.

"Remember when they took me, I managed to escape but we were so far away I couldn't find the way back home."

Shuhei groans and looks down. "If only I was strong back then, I would have saved you."

"It's fine, you were a kid. I don't blame you."

He smiles softly as she touches his face and he starts to blush. "What happen to your face?" She asks with concern.

"Don't worry, just battles and the 69 is something I got from the man that saved my life. He's actually my captain now."

She laughs and lets go. "Well you succeeded, now you can protect me from now on."

2 years later

"Why don't you tell her!" Hinamori pouts at Shuhei trying to push him into the restaurant.

"Be-because it's weird! She was like an older sister to me."

"But you like her right?" Rangiku jumps in unintentionally popping her breast out as Shuhei looks away in awkwardness.

"Better tell her before someone else beats you to it." Kira adds looking into the restaurant spotting (Your Name) dressed in a nice kimono waiting for a certain childhood friend.

"Come on! Renji even asked Kuchiki Taicho to reserve the best restaurant in Seireitei right now!" Hinamori says making Shuhei feel a bit guilty that Renji made the effort to beg his captain.

"Oh fine fine fine! I was going to do it my own pace but since everyone is telling me to."

Shuhei takes a deep breath and enters the restaurant.

"Shuhei!" She calls and waves him over.

"Sorry I'm late, how was your day?"

"It was good! I can't believe you got a place like this for us!"

Shuhei sweats a bit and drinks some water before answering. "Yeah me too."

"Ahh little Shuhei is so handsome now." (Your Name) smiles and push the messy part front of his hair away from his eyes.

He blushes and grabs her hands with his. "You've grown to a fine lady also... but you kept your promise."

"What promise?"

"Remember when we were little, I didn't want you to leave me for another man."

(Your Name) laughs and covers her mouth with her free hand and tighten her grip with his hand.

"Of course, why would I want anyone else?"

"I wouldn't want anyone else but you (Your Name)." Shuhei confesses as she drops her smile.

They had been through so much she could see a life with him and he could see a future with her. A future with laughter and happiness where they no longer starved or lived poor.

"I'm making enough money for us and I'm strong enough to protect you now. That means I'm the man I told you I wanted to be and the man you deserve to have."

She chuckles and set their hands down on the table as she rubs it softly.

"Always, I don't see why we wouldn't work out. The future tied us back together."

Shuhei grins like the child he once use to be and boldly kisses her from across the table.

"I've been waiting for this for years, our first kiss."

"And many to come." (Your Name) adds with a blush.

[jemej3m]

Dare You

anon asked:

If your still doing prompts... What about if Neil and Andrew are friends and Neil figures out that he likes Andrew and asks his friends how to woo him and then Andrew has to deal with Neil's terrible attempts at wooing. But everything neils doing is the same thing that Andrews been doing but in his own way? Idk, the idea just won't leave me alone and I'd love to see how amazing you could write it. Love your writing besides, it always makes my day :)

also on ao3!!

*

Neil and Andrew had been friends for 5 years when they have their first kiss. 

The context? Neil’s small-town friends had all found themselves at the same university. Obviously, they banded together. Obviously, there were parties. Neil’s not a party person himself, but he loved his eclectic family and wanted spend time with them whenever he could. He’d moved to Palmetto when he was 13 with his mother, and as the youngest of the group, watched as the rest of them moved on from middle school to high school, and then from high school to college. 

But now they were all back together again. 

Thus developed his (mild) enjoyment of Allison or Nicky’s chaotic fiascos, which were technically parties, just lacking any rhyme or reason. 

Andrew wasn’t a party person either: in high school, he, Neil and Renee would have movie nights instead, waiting for the rest of them to stumble home in drunken stupors. 

He still tagged along to these gatherings, though. Maybe because Neil and Renee were now commonly in attendance. Neil didn’t think that Andrew would come just for Neil, but he hadn’t worked out why Andrew had become so inclined to participate. Maybe because Aaron was there, and they were trying to patch things up with one another. Their mother’s accident had really put a rift between them. 

“Are you playing?” Allison demanded. “Neil, you’re playing. Renee’s managed to convince Andrew to play, so you’re playing.” 

“Fine,” Neil mused, mostly to appease the inebriated monster that Allison was. No attention was paid to him in these drinking games, mostly because he didn’t drink, but also because he didn’t do anything too unreserved. 

“Great!” she cheered, slinging an arm around his shoulder and brought him to the circle. He automatically took his seat next to Andrew, and felt his friend lean closer. 

Friend was a loose term. Neil and Andrew were almost attached at the hip: When Neil’s mom had died two years ago, Andrew snatched him away and got a spare mattress in his bedroom till Neil had enough money to afford rent somewhere. Andrew was the only one who knew every horrific detail of Neil’s violent childhood, and the only one who’d seen the scars left by his dead-beat dad. Neil was the only one who knew everything about Andrew, too. 

“Spin the bottle, Allison?” Dan leered as the girl put an empty beer bottle in the centre of the circle. Everyone was there. “We’ve got family members here!” Aaron mimed a retching action as Nicky laughed, clapping loudly. 

“It’s just to pick who has to do truth or dare,” Allison retorted, waving the bottle in Dan’s face. “You wanna go first, huh? I’ll pick out your dare for you, Wilds. A personal attribute!”

“No way,” Dan laughed, leaning back into Matt’s shoulder. The guy was half asleep: alcohol did that to him, sometimes.

“Fine, I’ll spin it,” Allison huffed. With a little too much vigour, she flicked the neck of the bottle, sending it spinning wildly. 

And of course, it had to land on Neil. 

“First of the night!” Nicky crowed. 

“Neil’s just going to pick truth,” Allison complained. “And make us all sad.”

Neil grinned at her. “Not my fault you grew up in a guilded bubble.” 

“Shut the fuck up. Choose!”

Neil hummed, cocking his head to the side. 

“Don’t do something stupid,” Andrew warned under his breath. 

“Dare,” Neil said. 

“Here we go,” his best friend sighed. 

“Fuck yeah,” Allison grinned. “What should we make you do, hm? We all know you can and will eat anything without even flinching, no clothes-off, no alcohol...” 

“Maybe he should go try and steal something,” Kevin slurred. “He’s good at it. Fuckin’ hot-wired a car once, for the hell of it.” 

“Fuck off, Kevin,” Neil managed, ignoring the incredulous looks that the others were giving him. 

“When the hell did you manage that?” Dan demanded. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.” 

“He should kiss Andrew,” Matt mumbled, burrowing his face into the crook of Dan’s shoulder. No one heard him. 

“We should see if he can jump from the dorm roof!” 

“No,” Andrew said. 

“He should shotgun three Caprisuns,”

“Too easy!”

“Fine, five!” 

“He should kiss Andrew,” Matt repeated, sitting up and blinking the sleepiness away. 

The circle grew quiet. 

“Yeah,” Allison breathed, grinning wildly. She looked to Neil. “You’ve gotta kiss Andrew.” 

Neil glanced at Andrew, whose gaze was hooded as he glared at the been in his hand. 

“I’m not doing that if Andrew doesn’t want to,” Neil said. 

Andrew shrugged. “I don’t care.”

“See?” Allison said, gesturing wildly. “Pucker up, Josten.” 

“Well, this isn’t how I expected this to go,” Neil muttered. Andrew looked up at him, something making his eyes sparkle. “Tonight, I mean.” 

“Right,” Andrew said. “Well? Hurry up.”

Neil hadn’t kissed many people before. Andrew knew that all too well: he’d heard about all three of Neil’s dating disasters in meandering rants about expectations and Neil’s lack of interest in - well, anyone, really. 

He was overthinking this. It was just a kiss. 

“And no measly pecks, either!” Dan insisted.

Andrew didn’t care. It was just a kiss.

Neil felt all stiff and awkward, because he had no idea what he was doing, but it was fine, because Andrew was tilting his head and lifting up his hand to press his fingertips to Neil’s cheek, tilting up his chin a bit. Neil let him. 

When Andrew drew back, all Neil could think was that his lips were so soft. So soft. Everything about the kiss had been feather light, which wasn’t like Andrew at all. 

Neil learned new things about Andrew every day. 

“Happy?” Andrew said, facing the circle once more. Allison was cheering as Nicky and Aaron gave each other all-knowing side eye: Dan was clapping, and Matt was looking right at Neil with his head tilted to the side. “Now: go pick on someone else.” 

“Someone your own size, might you say?” Nicky teased. Andrew flipped him off. 

It had been a nice kiss, Neil thought. He didn’t know Andrew could kiss like that. 

“You with us, Neil?” 

Neil glanced up and found everyone looking at him. “Yeah? Why?” He frowned. “Did it land on me again?” Did he have to kiss Andrew again? He didn’t want to: not in front of everyone, at least. 

Wait, what?

“You’ve been spared for now,” Allison grinned. Neil flipped her off. 

And that was Andrew and Neil’s first kiss. 

*

Neil burst into Matt and Kevin’s dorm room - obviously, he and Andrew shared one, and Aaron was in the fancy dormitory for academic scholarship students - in a small frenzy. 

“Hey,” he told Kevin, who was sitting on his bed minding his own business. “Fuck off.” 

Kevin glared at him. “You realise this is my room?”

Matt took off his headphones, looking over his shoulder from the tiny desk he’d crammed in at the end of his bed. It was comedically small in comparison with his gargantuan frame. 

“Please?” Neil begged. “I need to talk to Matt.” 

“Why can’t I hear it?” Kevin demanded. “I’ve literally known you longer than anyone else. We used to watch each other shit in toddler potties, Neil.” 

That was true. Still, Neil needed Matt, his not-childhood friend. 

“Dude,” Matt said. “Neil and I are bros. Somethings are just bro to bro. You talk to Andrew about shit you don’t talk to Neil about, yeah? Y’all are like brothers. That’s different from being bros.”

“None of that made sense,” Kevin muttered, packing up his shit. He glared at Neil. “I’ll be in the common room. You’re making up for this by editing my thesis.” 

“Looking forward to it,” Neil said dryly, ushering Kevin out the door and leaning against it, feeling a little breathless. 

Matt jumped onto his bed, patting the spot next to him. “Come hither, child.” 

“I hate it when you say that,” Neil complained, dutifully crossing the tiny room and curling up into a ball on the mattress next to him. Matt patted him on the shoulder gently, though it still managed to send shocks right to his fingers and toes. Matt was just a big guy. 

“What’s this all about?” Matt pushed, when Neil stayed in a curled ball. 

Neil’s head flopped back, thudding against the wall. He swallowed, staring at the ceiling. 

“I like Andrew.” 

“Well, that’s good news,” Matt laughed. 

“No, Matt.” Neil glared towards the window. “I think I’m in love with Andrew.” 

“Yes,” Matt said earnestly. “I know.” 

Neil’s neck nearly snapped what with how fast he looked at Matt. “What?”

His friend snorted. “Dude, you’ve always been infatuated with him. We’re best friends, Neil. You and Kevin are best friends. Do you really want to go cuddling up with either of us, like you do with Andrew? Do you spend hours with either of us at a time, just talking? Do you dream about us? Have you told us everything about you?”

“How do you know I’ve done those things with Andrew?” Neil accused, even though he was completely right. 

Matt shrugged. “That’s how I am with Dan.” 

“We’ve cuddled,” Neil said weakly. 

Matt slung his arm around Neil’s narrow shoulders. It was like wearing a blanket. “Hell yes, we have. But that’s not what I mean.” 

“We don’t do that.” 

“Head out of the gutter, bucko. Remember that photo Allison managed of the two of you? Asleep on the couch? You were literally asleep on Andrew’s chest: one of his legs was hooked over your hip. That’s some serious canoodling, bro.” 

“You’ve analysed us that intensely,” Neil said flatly. 

Matt snorted. “It’s kinda hard not to. You’re both all over each other. I’d say it’s sweet if it wasn’t, well, you and Andrew.”

“So if you knew I liked him,” Neil complained. “Why’d you dare me to kiss him? Now I’m aware of it, and I hate it!”

“That was kinda the point,” Matt admitted. “Why the hell do you hate it? Love is a good thing!” 

“Need I remind you of my parents?” 

Matt shoved him gently. “Don’t start pulling the parent card. Neil, you’ve loved Andrew for years. And - well, I can’t really read him, no one can - I think he likes you back.” 

“He does not,” Neil insisted. 

“He does!” Matt sung. “You know what you have to do now, Josten?”

“No,” Neil said, sullen. 

“You’ve gotta woo him.” 

“Here we go,” Neil mumbled. 

Matt winked. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you. Andrew will be head over heels for you in no time.”

*

“So,” Neil said, sitting on his bed. Andrew was reading a book, his reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. He only wore them in their room, even though everyone knew Aaron had reading glasses and thus Andrew would have to wear them too. He had his armbands off and a pair of knitted socks on. Neil had become so keenly aware over everything that constituted of Andrew recently: it was driving him up the wall.  

Andrew looked at Neil from over his book. “What?” 

Neil shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you want to go somewhere?” 

Andrew glanced at his watch. “Now?” 

Neil shrugged again. 

“What’s this about?” Andrew asked, sitting up.

“Nothing!” Neil stressed. “Just thought it might be good to - get out?” 

“It’s a Tuesday evening,” Andrew said flatly.

Neil deflated. “We don’t have to go.” 

Andrew sighed. “Fine.” Neil perked up. “Where did you want to go?” 

Neil hadn’t thought that far ahead. “David’s?” 

“David’s,” Andrew repeated. “Neil, you don’t like diner food.” 

“Well, now I do!” He really needed to stop the hiccups in his voice. Stuffing his feet into his shoes, he yanked on his coat and shoved his keys and phone into his pocket. 

“Now I’m even more suspicious,” Andrew said, watching Neil’s erratic behaviour with mild amusement. “You’ve never willingly taken that phone with you unless I forcefully reminded you too.” 

He needed it to text Matt. “We all learn and grow,” he said breezily, escaping out the door. “Hurry up, I want coffee!” 

“It’s nearly fucking midnight,” Andrew growled. 

He skipped ahead till he arrived at the dorm’s parking lot: Andrew’s was in the corner, where it couldn’t be scratched. After his mother’s death he’d used his portion of her life insurance to buy the thing, but it hadn’t got him more than a heap of junk. He’d spent a whole summer fixing it up: Neil had watched him from the corner of his garage, a little mesmerised. 

Fuck, he liked Andrew so much. He could hardly contain it within himself. 

He switched the radio to Andrew’s favourite channel as they drove to David’s, an old diner on the corner of campus. It was run by a grouchy old man by the name of David Wymack, hence the name. He served the only pancakes Andrew would speak well of, and sometimes Neil could withstand the fruit smoothies. 

Andrew glanced over at Neil at the music choice - Neil almost always usually bickered with him about playing heavy rock when it got past 9 o’clock - but said nothing, continuing to drive. 

There was almost no one in David’s when they arrived, even though he usually shut at one. Neil was relieved for that: he didn’t feel like anyone watching him as he failed miserably at wooing Andrew Minyard.

Andrew got his pancakes and Neil decided to try the blueberry smoothie, sans ice cream. 

“What is wrong with you,” Andrew muttered. 

It clearly wasn’t going well. Neil grimaced and shrugged. “Dunno.” 

Andrew squinted at him. “Are you upset?”

“What? No!”

“Can you bozos stop wasting my time?” Wymack huffed. 

“Fuck you too, old man,” Andrew said. Wymack flipped him off and proceeded to put an extra scoop of ice-cream onto Andrew’s plate. Their relationship was baffling, especially after Andrew worked the summer here with Renee. 

They sat at a corner table, a little ceramic jug with plucked daisies plonked in the centre of the red-and-white chequered table cloth. 

“You seem jittery,” Andrew said. 

“I’m fine,” Neil managed. Andrew reached out with his hand under the table to stop Neil’s leg from bouncing. The heat from his palm was addictive. Neil made a strange squawking noise, and Andrew immediately withdrew his hand. 

“You’re fine,” Andrew repeated. 

“Yup,” Neil insisted. Andrew’s pancakes arrived, so Neil tried to distract himself from the ruffled blonde hair and pale eyelashes and the freckles on his nose, sipping at the smoothie. Neil didn’t know what to do with that information. It was quite unnerving. 

They were done by half-past-twelve, when Andrew decided to get up and leave without warning. Neil - in a moment’s panic - took one of the daisies from the jug and hopped up after him. 

Andrew was leaning against his car door, lighting up two cigarettes. Moonlight shone down, curling in his hair and curving across his jaw. Neil found himself a little star struck. 

Andrew offered up the second cigarette and Neil took it from between his fingers with his lips, like he usually did. This time all he could notice was how close it put them, and the shape of Andrew’s lips. Now Neil knew what they felt like, too. 

This is ridiculous, Neil thought. 

“Why are you holding a flower?” Andrew asked. 

Neil looked down to where the daisy rested in his palm. He brought it up and tucked it behind Andrew’s ear. The tips of Andrew’s ears went very pink: he had to be warm in that large sweater of his. 

“Don’t know,” Neil answered truthfully, looking at where the daisy drooped down over the shell of Andrew’s ear. 

“Okay,” Andrew managed, though his voice was a bit strained. What if he was allergic to daisies? No, that was ridiculous. Neil would know if he was allergic to daisies. 

They finished their cigarettes in the quiet. Everything was so muddled. Neil just wanted it to go back to normal. And yet: he wanted to kiss Andrew. 

Fucking hell, he thought. 

*

“Back to the drawing board,” Neil announced, bursting into Matt’s dorm room again. Kevin wasn’t there, thankfully. 

Matt arched his brow. “Huh?”

“Date and flowers didn’t work. What the hell do I do?”

His friend hummed. “What about gifts? Is there something you could give him that’s romantic?” 

“He likes chocolate?” Neil hedged.

“Could work,” Matt acknowledged. “Or, you know, we could make him jealous.”

“Absolutely not,” Neil grimaced. 

“Just a thought.” 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Neil groaned, sinking into a puddle on the floor. 

The door opened as Kevin stepped through. He didn’t even pause, stepping right over where Neil had melted onto the floor. 

“Don’t mind him,” Matt acknowledged. 

Neil made an exasperated noise. 

“Have you always been so dramatic?” Kevin acknowledged. 

“Maybe you could recite a monologue to him,” Matt suggested. 

Kevin frowned. “Who?” 

Before Neil could shush him, Matt sung out “Andrew!” with a cheerful smile. 

Kevin signed. “Fucking finally. Everyone’s been waiting years for the two of you to sort yourselves out.” 

“What?” Neil sat up. “Are you serious?” 

Kevin shrugged. “It’s pretty obvious.” 

“For fuck’s sake,” Neil groused. 

“He’s trying to woo Andrew into liking him back,” Matt informed Kevin. 

Kevin frowned. “Why don’t you just tell him that you like him?”

“Because that’s mortifying?” 

“You’re such a horribly adjusted human being,” Kevin muttered. 

“He’s kinda right,” Matt acknowledged. “I just kept asking Dan on dates till she accepted.”

“No,” Neil hoisted himself to his feet. “I’ll figure it out. It won’t have to come to that.” He glared at both of them. “Thanks for nothing. Neither of you know anything about relationships.” 

“We are both in committed, loving, long-term partnerships,” Kevin pointed out. 

“Love you too!” Matt called as Neil stomped out.

*

Neil eventually developed a checklist. 

Spontaneous midnight date? Nope. Flowers? Definitely a no. Making him a mixtape? Not the right decade. 

Accompanying him places definitely didn’t work: Neil was late to all his classes for a week. Cooking for two also didn’t work, seeing as the only thing Neil could cook was 2 Minute Noodles. 

Chocolates was a moderate success, but it probably didn’t help the wooing cause. It didn’t help that they roomed together: Neil didn’t get much time to scheme, because neither of them were social butterflies, and their dorm room was their safe space. 

The only thing he thought could’ve been counted a success was when they decided to rewatch the last two Harry Potter movies together: Andrew yanked Neil over to his bed and they nestled into the corner to watch the films from Andrew’s laptop. Neil was so consumed by the thought kiss him kiss him kiss him that he barely registered either of the films. 

One month passed since Neil’s epiphany, then one and a half: It even got too the point that Neil jostled Andrew’s shoulder at another of Allison’s ‘parties’ and said “Remember the last time she made us participate?” to which Neil only received an odd look and stale silence.

He also tried to rig one of Allison’s silly games, giving Andrew a piece of paper that asked do you like someone? Andrew set the thing on fire with his lighter, and the dormitory nearly had to be evacuated.

Neil was beginning to lose hope. 

“You upset, Neil?” Renee asked, dropping into the chair next to him. He was studying in the library, one of the few places he knew Andrew wouldn’t follow. 

“Hi, Renee,” Neil said, sullen. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She twisted herself around to face him. “What’s up?”

“Can’t talk to you about it,” Neil mumbled, resting his head on his folded arms and glaring at the table. 

“You know,” Renee said, slightly amused. “I overheard something about someone being interested in Andrew recently.”

Neil sat up. “You did? Who?” He’d fight them. Not that he was possessive, or jealous. 

Renee laughed. “You, silly.” 

Neil deflated. “Does everyone know? I feel like I was the last one to figure it out.”

Renee patted his shoulder gently. “Almost the last one.”

“What do you mean?”

“Andrew doesn’t know.”

“Good,” Neil huffed out. “That’d be embarrassing.”

Renee shook her head. 

“He’s never going to like me back,” Neil mumbled. “I’ve been trying so hard, but he won’t notice.”

“He did mention you were acting odd, recently,” Renee acknowledged. 

Neil huffed. “Yeah, well. There’s no point in keeping it up, is there? Not if nothing will happen.”

“You know,” she said. “I always found clarity in honesty.” With that, she winked and slid off her stool. “See you around, Neil.”

“Yeah,” Neil muttered. “See you.”

*

Neil dressed quickly in the shower stall and hooked his towel over his shoulder, carrying his small caddy back to his room. He was wearing old pyjamas: fire-engine truck flannels with one of Matt’s oversized (or normal sized, for him) hoodies that went all the way to his fingertips. He shook out his wet hair as he traversed from the bathroom back to his dorm room and shouldered his way in, the door unlocked. That meant Andrew was back. 

And back, Andrew was: facing the wall, he was tugging off a turtleneck sweater and yanking on a t-shirt that Neil recognised as his: he’d already changed into grey sweats that were too long for him, hanging around the ankles. 

Neil slowly put his soap back onto his little shelf, hanging his towel on a wall hook. Andrew glanced over his shoulder at him, acknowledging Neil’s presence, before going back to unpacking from his day and readying for bed. 

Neil felt sucker-punched. 

“Andrew?” 

He glanced back again, brows furrowing at Neil’s strange tone. “What?”

When Neil couldn’t answer, he dropped what he was doing and came closer. His fingers curled in Neil’s collar, tugging him closer. 

“You’re pale as shit,” he commented. “Are you going to collapse?”

“I’m already falling,” Neil joked weakly. 

“What?”

“What?”

Andrew stepped back. Dammit, Neil thought. “What the hell is going on, Neil? You’ve been acting fucking weird for ages, now.”

“I really like you,” Neil breathed out. 

Andrew froze. 

“I wasn’t meant to say that,” Neil bit out, folding his arms over his chest. “But I can’t get over it. Ever since we kissed I’ve been kinda losing my mind, and everyone’s told me I’ve liked you for years -” 

“Shut up,” Andrew said fiercely, stomping right up into Neil’s space, crowding him against the door.

“Um,” Neil mumbled, blinking. 

“You’re the worst,” Andrew hissed. “You’ve been doing all this shit because you like me? I thought you were working up to telling me you were leaving!”

“What?” Neil echoed. 

“Shut up,” Andrew complained. “You’re the fucking worst. I hate you.” 

And then he kissed him. Andrew kissed Neil, that is. It was definitely one of the best moments of Neil’s life, which wasn’t saying much, considering his track record. Still, Neil’s fingers spread out across Andrew’s shoulder blades as his hands grasped Neil’s jaw, kissing him for real, this time. 

Neil had been right: it was definitely better when there was no one else watching. 

Andrew’s shoulders were hunched over when he fell back, pressing his forehead to Neil’s shoulder. 

“You like me?” Neil asked, voice higher and breathier than he thought he could manage. “Since when?”

“I hate you,” Andrew retorted. Then, quieter, he said: “Since forever.” 

Neil’s hands pressed him closer: this wasn’t unfamiliar, the proximity, Andrew’s touch, breath wafting over bare skin. But the warmth encompassing it made sense now. 

“Okay,” he said. And then: “Me too.”

“Were you trying to woo me with 2 Minute Noodles?” Andrew inquired.

“No,” Neil said sheepishly. 

Andrew shook his head, tilting Neil’s head down for another kiss. Then he signed against Neil’s lips. “I hate you. So much.” 

Neil grinned.

*

HEEHEEE

[imma-lil-teapot]

TMNT 2003/2k3 Headcanon: Crying - (Leonardo)

Feel free to scroll past this first part if you’re not interested in my silly rambling and nonsense. I won’t mind. Promise. ;)

Okey-dokey then, with the global epidemic that is the Coronavirus well in action and most of the world stuck in lockdown (starting this Friday for us too), felt like getting the ‘ol creative juices flowing with a little headcanon-y thingy in preparation for -possibly- more fandom writings to keep myself busy during the house arrest (well... it kinda is!) and hopefully my mind off all the bad news. :( 

Also, this is totally my first one on the blog! WOOT! Please bear in mind that I’m SUPER rusty! Haven’t written in ages so there are bound to be typos and all matter of general errors scattered throughout the post. Don’t pet them! They bite!  

Anyhoo~ Despite attempting to create and share with the goal in mind to uplift spirits, I decided to start on a rather upsetting subject (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! They end on happy notes ;) ) because, Imma just come and say it, I enjoy seeing my favourite characters shed tears (not for just any old reason -their personality plays a huge role in this- and CERTAINLY not for sadistic reasons, land sakes no! But... well, you’ll see~ ;) ) It makes me all gooey and fuzzy inside to see them display such raw emotion and I just wanna leap into the TV screen to hug and console them. I dunno why. Maybe I’m nuts like that. (Remembers Raph crying at the farm when Leo was badly injured and wishes she could just hug them all and take away the pain) Oh well, if you enjoy visualizing the same, then *High Fives*. :)

So yeah, if you read the title, you’ll know this is based on the 2003/2k3 series (my favs). Hope you all enjoy~ :D Grab tissues cause sad turts ahead! :’(

Jibber jabber stops here~

TURTLES~

LEONARDO - You are here

RAPHAEL

DONATELLO - Coming soon

MICHELANGELO - Coming soon

WARNING(S): Because of the subject, Angst and Hurt/Comfort will be present.

RATING: G (General)

WORD COUNT: Don’t have the foggiest.

ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD:

And apparently gifs too, so without further ado: (Completely unintentional but in actuality, totally intentional rhyming)...

TO THE HEADCANONS~~~~

~LEONARDO~

-- It’s no easy feat to make the leader in blue turn on the waterworks. Leo won’t cry for any old reason. It’s not because he has no emotions, far from it, but being the leader of a small ninja clan -who happen to be family as well- is no easy task in itself: he has a lot on his young shoulders and deals with many issues on a daily basis few his age ever have to.

-- It’s because of these reasons that Leo doesn’t cry often. One of the lesser likely to out of the four brothers. But when he does, it’s an emotionally distressing sight to behold. 

-- Leo tends to cry whenever those closest to him -namely his brothers, his father/master and truest friends- are severely injured or are in a dire situation. Remember his angry/moody arc? The thought of losing any of them causes him great pain and distress, especially if he were the cause of any of it, and when that happens, he can’t stop the dampness that forms around his eyes and soaks into his mask. 

-- He’s not fond of crying, especially in front of others, even though he fully comprehends its normalcy. He feels he needs to be everyone’s rock, their fortress of physical and emotional stability to turn to for strength when things get rough... So when the tears start to fall, he feels he can’t show them, can’t allow them to watch him crumble under the gripling weight of helplessness and anguish.

-- He frantically wipes at his eyes and desperately attempts not to sniffle, but it’s a hopeless battle, for his tears are already a steady stream. 

-- He’ll try to hide when possible, usually retreating to his room to allow the worst of the emotions to spill over before returning to the others... Though he may be in there a while: when Leo lets his emotions go, it can be just as powerful as his red-banded brother’s rage. 

-- He spares no time in making sure the coast is clear for the tears are already streaming by the time he reaches his futon, and there’s no stopping them now as he lets himself drop to his knees, only halfway onto the mattress. He purposefully leaves the room unlit, cloaking his form in the darkness. 

-- He sniffs a few times as he shuffles up against the wall, sitting upright against it, bringing his legs up and hugging them loosely and droops his head against a single knee pad. 

-- His voice desperately wishes to escape. To express its misery. But he won’t allow it to, often placing one hand over his face in a bid to quell the sadness and remain silent in the battle against his own inner turmoil. He refuses to let anyone see him in that state of utter sorrow and vulnerability.

-- He whimpers ever so slightly and coughs a few times as breathing becomes difficult. He knows this episode won’t be over any time soon. Fortunately, he keeps some tissues next to his bed for such rare occasions and tries not to blow too loudly. He thinks back to the last time he cried so hard... It’s been a while. It felt like a build up. 

-- Time has been forgotten as he’s lost in deep thought. By the time he slips a hand across his eyes, only the material of his mask is still slightly damp. He clears his nostrils a couple of times before considering whether he was ready to return to his family. He’d of course straighten up his bedding beforehand, and would also require a trip to the bathroom to wash his face. A true ninja leaves no evidence. 

-- Leo tries to put the horrifying images out of head before leaving his quarters. He doesn’t wish to be weighed down again and thus maybe cause his emotions to come out a second time. He knew someone would catch on that time. Instead, he holds his head up high, focusing on the there and now to carry him forward.  

BONUS EXTRA~

-- Failure is also one of his greatest foes. Leo despises it, but not in the irrational sense; he fully comprehends that in order to grow, one has to lose in order to learn and thus, succeed in turn, and while it can frustrate him when he’s unsuccessful at mastering a martial arts technique for example, he understanders it’s part of the process and that no one’s perfect. 

-- It’s when his slipups could spell casualties or death to his family and/or friends is when it weighs down on him like a boulder strapped to his shell. 

-- A really big one. 

-- And it hurts. So much so that it causes him to become despondent and often teary-eyed when no one’s looking.

-- Boi Bloo might also cry from especially sad movie scenes. He gets seriously into the story, and when the scene is just right -perfect music, perfect timing etc.- you may just catch Fearless with watery eyes. 

-- He can’t help it. After all, he’s a leader, and very caring and kind-hearted individual, so movies showing children or anyone/anything defenceless getting hurt has him not only visibly upset, but also angry at the cause. He’s a softie like that. 

-- He won’t have a meltdown, of course, but the tears are definitely there. Just don’t tease him too much; he’s easily embarrassed by it. ;) 

BONUS EXTRA EXTRA FEMALE READER OR S/O EDITION~ (Can also use an OC/FC insert if you wish, up to you)

You had figured something was up by the time you’d finished greeting everyone in the Splinterson household except for the Turtle you’d long to see most and he hadn’t made his presence yet known. 

The idea that he must’ve been practicing or meditating swiftly vanished when Mikey told you he’d been in his room in the dark for the past few hours. “The guy hardly ever naps, and even so, never this long.” He’d told you. “I dunno, (Y/N), we were about to check on ‘im when you arrived, but maybe you should be the one to. Think he’d really appreciate it.” And there was absolutely no argument from your side as you were already making your way up to the room.

You didn’t know what to expect as you neared the doorway. Could he possibly still just be sleeping? Meditating in the dark instead of his usual spot by the training area? Or... was he sick? The latter now had you concerned and you picked up your pace... Only to pause mid step when an unmistakable sound reached your ears: a sniffle.

Had it come from within his room? It was the only logical explanation as everyone else was downstairs. You were truly perturbed now as you stood outside the doorway and called out the ‘eldest’ Turtle’s name.

There was some shuffling to be heard but you were unable to tell for sure what he was doing -probably trying to neaten up his bed- “(Y/N)? Just a second, okay?” he responded in a rather awkward verging on frantic tone, and you were certain you heard another sniffle escape him. 

That, along with the way he’d replied really didn’t help to put your mind at ease. “Leo, are you alright?” Nor was the pitch blackness in which he remained concealed in.

“Yeah, just... l-looking for something.” There was some more shuffling as if to prove his point, but you were having none of it.

“Then maybe this,” you began, turning around to flick the light switch, “will help?”

“No! Wait!” But it was a split second too late for as soon the brightness illuminated the entire room, you had caught the telltale signs of an emotional meltdown in progress plastered on his face before he quickly turned away and briskly wiped an arm across his face, attempting to hide the shame... or perhaps embarrassment? 

“Leo...?” your heart and voice softened, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You automatically walked to him, closing the gap he was now trying to form. 

“Nothing,” he lied, and acknowledged it was a fruitless attempt but still couldn’t stop himself. Autopilot panic mode was enabled now. “It’s nothing.” 

Unfortunately for him, autopilot mother hen mode was activated for you as you reached with both hands to his carapace and shoulder, gently turning him to face you. “I can see that it’s something.” Your words were gentle, and you wanted nothing more than to take away his pain. “Look at me, Honey.” His body was turned but his head remained to the side. It was clear he didn’t want his obvious distress on display, even to you. “Please, Leo?” You tried again, and slowly but surely, his eyes met yours, and you felt your heart sink further.

The fabric of his mask was wet and eyes were still red with fresh tears that threatened to fall. He appeared so broken and helpless as he stared at you, and even though he uttered no words, you could practically hear him despairingly ask “Is this what you wanted? To see me at my lowest?” from his expression alone. 

Never had you witnessed the leader of this band of mutant brothers cry. At times you had wondered if he ever did, and yet here he was; the incredible pillar of strength and dignity you had come to know and adore, in tears and so dejected that you couldn’t stop your own eyes from becoming damp the more you gazed at him. “Oh, Sweety...” You whispered as you felt your soul shatter. It was too much to bear. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, one around the midsection and the other over his shoulder, and buried your face into his leathery neck, offering every ounce of comfort you could muster.

It didn’t take him long at all to sink into the embrace and return the action. Beyond the point of concerning himself with showing the pain he felt -or the wetness now soaking into your shoulder when he placed his forehead against it- he sniffed and finally allowed the tears to fall once again as fresh waves of emotion surged throughout his body.

And this time, he couldn’t keep the whimpering to himself.

“Shh~ It’s okay, it’s okay,” you soothed, lightly patting and rubbing along the scutes of his shell as he weakly sobbed, finally letting go of all the sadness that gripped him. 

You weren’t even aware of what was wrong, and you most likely wouldn’t find out til later once he calmed down, but right now, he just needed you to hold him. Hold him until the hurt was gone... And so you would. 

AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

ALL THE FEELS!! I EMBARRASS!!

OMGosh, this turned into a monster! The mother of all HCs!! :O No seriously, this wasn’t meant to be this long! I was suppose to squish all four into one itty bitty little post, but then it just grew... and grew... and GREW! Personally, I blame the Reader Bonus but I’d be damned if I didn’t enjoy writing it! ;P You guys here on Tumblr got me slightly addicted to them and have wanted to attempt some myself so... Anyhoo~ I can’t really say if I’m entirely content with the whole thing, I dunno. I feel some parts are better than others (writing style-wise) but yeah, I really need to get back into the swing of things...

Speaking of which, I DO plan on adding my two cents on the other bois as well, but judging by how this one turned out, they’ll most likely all be this length, more or less, so each Turt will get his own post so I can really jot down those details with all the freedom in the world! That being said, I can’t say when they’ll be added but hopefully soon-ish. :) Raph's next on the list!

Thank you all so much for the read and hope you enjoyed~ :D

~Drag0n Mistr3ss’ Random Fandoms*

[hitwizards]

❝ i would rather die of passion than boredom ❞ 

huh, who’s DARREN BARNET? no, you’re mistaken, that’s actually TEDDY LUPIN. he is a THIRTY ONE year old HALFBLOOD wizard who is a HIT WIZARD. he is known for being ABSENTMINDED, GULLIBLE, IMPATIENT, IMPRUDENT, and IMPETUOUS but also STEADFAST, AFFABLE, NURTURING, UNINHIBITED, and JAUNTY, so that must be why he always reminds me of the song WHAT I GOT BY SUBLIME and ASH TRAY FULL OF DISCARDED CIGARETTE BUDS, COLORFUL HAWAIIAN SHIRTS AND LEATHER JACKETS, MAGICAL TATTOOS THAT SHIFT AND CHANGE, TOUSLED HAIR THAT CHANGES COLOR DAILY, BOISTEROUS LAUGHTER, BRUISED KNUCKLES, MISMATCHED SOCKS, WIDE RECKLESS GRINS, and SCARS WITH UNTOLD STORIES. i hear he is aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, so be sure to keep an eye on him.

unless you are part of potterhq pls don’t reblog/interact

GENERAL

FULL NAME: Edward Remus Lupin NICKNAME(S): Teddy, Ted AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 31, 04/14/1998 OCCUPATION: Hitwizard GENDER: Cis Man PRONOUNS: He/Him/His HOMETOWN: Yorkshire, England CURRENT RESIDENCE: Edinbrugh, Scotland ALMA MATTER: Hogwarts, Hufflepuff House BLOOD STATUS: Halfblood

BIOGRAPHY

i’ll write something formal soon. but have some of my scattered af thoughts so far:  

PARENTAL DEATH TW. first thing’s first - since this is a lil canon divergent there comes the question: are remus and tonks alive? yes and no. nymphadora tonks is still alive and well, even still working as an auror and living their best life (unless someone takes tonks up and changes it, get spicy if you want). remus on the other hand is not. after a life filled with adversity and trials, but very much love, remus john lupin passed away at the age of 43 - shockingly early for a wizard, though werewolf life expectancy was a lot shorter back then. teddy was only 5 years old. he doesn’t remember a lot about his father. he remembers his scratchy old sweaters, his jackets with elbow patches on them, and his scarred up face that didn’t seem so scary whenever he smiled widely at him. everything else that teddy knows about remus is from family and friends and his mother, who like to tell him everything he wants to know. it’s almost like he knew him for more than a handful of years. 

DEATH TW. yes, harry was teddy’s godfather - and considering remus didn’t make it for long, he was kind of like a father figure to him. but teddy wasn’t exactly raised by harry. tonks was still around, so he had a parent, but he also had his grandmother andromeda and grandfather ted (after whom he’s named) to help with raising him. and he was basically adopted into the “wotter” fold, so he has more relatives and parental figures than a boy could ask for. but outside of his immediate family, he was rather close to his godfather harry - and hasn’t really coped with the fact that he’s gone. feeling a brotherly love for the potter children, teddy chose to be brave in the face of loss in order to be a reliable shoulder for them to lean on, someone strong for them. deep down he’s utterly broken up about it, and is probably going to break down eventually. that’s two dads he’s lost in his short life. someone give him juice and a hug.

before this most recent tragedy, teddy was a pretty chipper guy. he’d always been an optimist and a happy go lucky kid. his youth was spent running around the burrow with his extended family/friends and on adventures with his mum. tonks wanted him to be a happy kid, especially after remus was gone, and so the two spent a lot of time just going around and having fun. they’re thick as thieves, and when it had come time to go to hogwarts the only qualms he had was in leaving his mother. he had been attached to her hip, but he found himself comfortable in due time. following in tonks’s footsteps he ended up a hufflepuff, though he could have been a gryffindor. he could be boisterous and rowdy when he wanted to be, but above all else he was a kind and just boy, caring and loyal to a fault. he’s always been a wee bit of a nurturer, though that may have to do with being raised around the large wotter clan, of which he is eldest so he took a lot of pride in watching after the little ones. but that responsibility didn’t keep him from being a fun and mischief loving boy. 

as soon as he left hogwarts, he entered into the auror training program with hopes to work beside his mother. he actually graduated from that and would have continued that path but eventually he found himself more interested in the hit wizard division and took up a post there. he’s been working as a hit wizard since, going on some pretty wild missions to track down dark wizards. he loves the job, even with its risks and hazards, and deep down he hopes that his father would be proud of his line of work. 

per the expectation of many, teddy dated his childhood and family friend victoire weasley. as far as first romances/young love goes, it was pretty great. they’d known each other their whole lives, which meant that there wasn’t as much awkwardness or discomfort in being himself around her, none of that “getting to know you” stage. they already knew each other, what was there to be embarrassed about? the pair had dated a decent amount of time... that was until the decision for victoire’s healing training came up. when talk of training in france came along, teddy was faced with a somewhat difficult decision: support her growth even if it meant going far away for a bit or try and convince her to stay. he’s never been a selfish guy, so the answer had come pretty quickly. and france wasn’t that far - not when apparition and portkeys were a thing. surely they could make it work... except they didn’t. communication was not their speciality it turned out, so when teddy eagerly encouraged her to go train abroad their relationship crumbled. to this day he doesn’t really understand why. outwardly he acts pretty cool and indifferent, almost as if it doesn’t phase him, and enough time has passed where he’s basically accepted it as over, but deep down he questions what the hell happened there and what things would have been like now if he hadn’t been so passive about his desire to make it work out. he tries not to dwell on that, though - things happen and he kinda goes with the flow when they do. 

when it comes to conflict and war, there was really only one side for teddy to take. of course he went with the order - what else was he going to do? his parents were in the order. his family was in the order. when it came down to it, he knew that he had to join their ranks and fight for their cause. it wasn’t even a question, and he doesn’t regret the choice to take up arms. as a hitwizard it’s his job to apprehend dark wizards and stop them from harming the community, so he was pretty much already doing as much. he won’t hesitate to do what’s expected and to fight. this is the kind of thing his father fought for, and that his godfather would stand up and fight for. teddy feels that, per their memory, it’s his duty to do so - especially as more of his friends and family join the fight as well. he feels a deep obligation to be there to protect them and fight beside them. the last thing he wants is to lose anyone else, and he would willingly throw himself in front of them if it meant saving their lives. and if it came down to it, he’s ready to put his life on the line for the entire cause. anything to see a better tomorrow. 

idk my thoughts are so scattered like i’ll be editing the shit outta this over the next few days so tune in. 

MISC

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic LANGUAGES: English, Gobbledegook FAMILY: Nymphadora Tonks (mother), Remus John Lupin (father) †, Andromeda Tonks (maternal grandmother), Ted Tonks (maternal grandfather), Lyall Lupin (paternal grandfather) †, Hope Lupin (maternal grandmother) †, Harry Potter (godfather) †, many many others PETS: a toller named Lenox FACE CLAIM: Darren Barnet ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Aries MBTI: TBD PINTEREST: (x)

WANTED CONNECTIONS

hogwarts gang ok

work friends? where the hitwizards at??

idk come at me with whatever. 

bonus: 

tattoo details: 

"je t’aime” written in handwriting that is mostly certainly not teddy’s. he won’t elaborate on this one. it is slowly fading away as the years go by.

lilies which is a clear representation of lily luna potter, whom he considers to be like a sibling. the lilies wilt and bloom with the seasons. he definitely has tattoos for each of the wotters which he has adopted as siblings/cousins, i’m just too damn lazy to come up with them / idk they’re probably in places not visible in this drawing afheiahpfiea

a lightning bolt which is new, it shimmers and shines and represents the man who was like a father for him. a snitch to represent his quidditch days. the snitch flies along his arm. 

a wolf which roams his arm and howls whenever its the full moon. there is a hand which is always giving a peace sign, but when teddy is angry a neon yellow outline reveals a hand flashing the middle finger. 

marauder’s footprints which sometimes walk along his arm. beneath each set of footprints are initials: JP for James Potter, SB for Sirius Black and RJL for Remus John Lupin. 

the andromeda constellation with stars that shimmer and shine during the night time. a match, possibly the only truly aesthetic one. idk i saw it and liked it ahfeiahfpe

some random teddy sketches