#.... but thats too sappy for me to say in the main text of the post sbdhfjdkl

[dandyshucks]

forgive me it is late at night and i am tired but i wanna stand up on my tiptoes and give guz a little kiss on the cheek and then he laughs and gets a little flustered abt it ,,,, :[

[shreddeddescent]

weird barely thought out rambling about my process here sorry if it sounds like a lot

so i guess i should say there was totally an idea of a plan in place for like. okay they’ll all get one on one time then i can get em all talking and explaining plot something and get stuff rolling.

but then it was like jennika reached through the screen and grabbed me and said NO. help mikey right now this isnt just flavour text you have to commit. and i said yep no you’re so right actually thats way more important.

and then i guess that happened it made me kinda look back over everything and everyone and decide WELL. maybe this is what the story really is, just a lot of overly emotional vulnerable conversations where everybody feels fucked up but they just kinda talk it through with each other, as good or bad as they are at it. maybe thats more important.

i guess the things i wrote just trying to flesh out the rest of it ended up being the story kinda thing. the aftermath of all these other things turned out to be more interesting than trying to get into some "real" plot.

like to be fucking real thats whats been so interesting to me. the 'worst case scenario' ended ages ago, intended to just be that part as a 'get it out of your system' personal thing of writing the most fucked up thing i could. but then it kept going with the effects of it still hang over the characters.

shredders dead yet somehow its like hes still the main antagonist because all the conflict stems from him. defeating him didnt end the story.

i guess i could say over and over that if i had thought it all through it would come off better. dont know if i would have implemented things like raph's comatose state or random forced pheromone bullshit, nor the speed up on the pregnancy period. feel like i would have put april and casey into the story better without dropping them the way i have. i could have written better set up, better payoff. but its not about being planned, its all a weird game of improv im playing with myself that has the unintended consequences of being too fascinating to stop. too fascinating to keep to myself.

and thats been what it is, the gross messy dramatic sappy corny healing process. its absolutely gonna be over 200k words by the end, which is. you know. NUTS. ive not posted my writing before all this nonsense so hhhhrgh you know.

but....... maybeeee its kinda a lot? like too corny too dark too messy too weirdly written? but i just feel like.... meh. its my personal soap opera, i get to decide how long that shit goes on for. whether it seems like im beating a dead horse or not, its my dead horse to beat.

and things like that last chapter are like... AH. would everyone have rathered i sit them all down and make them tell you whats going on? too bad, leos had an anxiety attack so we dont get that right now cuz he genuinely cant take it. the completely unintentional letting the characters fucking experience complicated emotions even if they are gonna get in the way of what my plan might have been IS the story.

in a sense i am the adult turtles telling those kids 'no its okay, take a second to feel that out, we can wait'

its such an interesting way of expressing something, not really sure what else i could say.

but im having fun. i guess thats the point.

if my insanity helps anybody else, well, thats a bonus.

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[dilliebar]

Alrighty guys, I collected your questions and now I've got the answers for ya. Thank you all for submitting your asks, it was really sweet to hear from all of you! 💕

Without further ado, here's the Q&A!

Q1: Hi dilliebar!! 😊 I saw you and montys q + a collab on her blog and you guys are totally hilarious! Monty seems like a sweet heart to you and I look forward to seeing you guys post about each other! 💜 For your own q + a, how did you realize you liked monty, who asked who out, and how did it go? Give us the deets!! 😂 Love, a fan

A: Well it would take me a while to get into the full story, but like I said on monty's post, we really got to know each other really well during quarantine. I remember the first string of days where we talked to each other all day and up until we were too tired to text anymore. When I first realized I liked her was the first time she told me "goodnight" and "good morning", which sounds really cheesy but I remember it really vividly. After quite a long time of flirting with this clueless asshole, one day I just started venting to her about this "mystery girl" that I liked, and she told me to ask her out. So I did, right then and there, and sent monty an ask saying "I like you, idiot". As you can probably tell, she felt the same way 😌 Love you too, anon! 💕

Q2: Hi. For the Q/A, do you have any hobbies? Love your writing, by the way. Would love to know what else you get up to in your free time.

A: Well video games, obviously are a big one. I stayed up for like 30 hours straight just to finish tlou2. But other than that, my main thing would definitely have to be computer science, although I'm hoping to turn that into a little more than a hobby after I get my associates. Mostly I've been fucking around with Unity but sometimes I make programs in C++ just to do my homework for me cause I'm lazy. Also, one of my nerdiest (but funnest) hobbies is playing Dungeons and Dragons. I've been playing it since I was 12 or 13 and it's been one of my favorite things to do ever since; I always play at our local game shop on Sundays and Wedensdays 😌🎲

Q3/3.5 (since these kind of go hand-in-hand):

what inspires you to write?

and

hi totally not monty or anything but i wanted to contribute so :) what’s something that really inspires you to write? also ur cute :)

A: Honestly ever since I was really little I liked to get lost in my head and all that. Whenever I got into something, like tv shows or video games, I liked to think about possible scenarios or storylines they might be a part of. When my sister told me about fanfiction I was like "hey, I could do that!" and I did. For a while I only wrote TWD fanfiction (don't ask, I'll never tell you which ones), then I dropped out of writing fanfiction for a while, and once I hopped onto the TLOU2 hype train I needed an outlet for all of my predictions and thoughts on the characters, so I hopped back into writing again. I like to write what I'm feeling; angsty if I'm sad; fluffy if I'm feeling sappy; but overall I've always really connected with Ellie's character ever since I played tlou all those years ago, so she's always a joy to write no matter what mood the fic is. Also, you're cute too "anon" you fuckin nut.

Q4: How did you and monty meet, Dillie? :) Do you guys plan on meeting irl? Love you guys xx

A: Monty and I first met here on Tumblr. I read a lot of her writing and lowkey lurked on her blog for a while, and our first interaction was me reblogging a "dina's a power bottom" post with some stupid meme telling her she was wrong skdksjfkskd. I remember the first conversation was in the comments of a random post, I dont quite remember which, but it went a little something like:

"ur wrong"

"no ur wrong"

"no U-"

and thats how we became mutuals. then the pandemic hit and things ramped up from there, and so here we are. also, we are hopefully planning on meeting sometime in the winter, which would be absolutely amazing bc I miss her very much 💕

Q5: What’s your favorite OST from part 2?

A: oooooo, okay, so my favorite OST would definitely have to be "allowed to be happy". Even though its based off of an Abby/Owen quote, it always makes me think of Ellie/Dina and I usually have it in the background while I'm writing.

Q6: Your fic is amazing! 😊💕 You’re an insane writer Dillie. You and Monty blow me away with your writing. Which leads me to my Q&A Question: Does Monty ever help you write? Or do you help her? Do you guys plan on writing a fic together? (That would be so amazing!!!! 😱) Anyway, keep up the great work! Looking forward to more stuff from you! ☺️

A: thank you so much anon!! 💕🥺 We do help each other out a lot, whether it's coming up with ideas for a section or just figuring out how to make a transition. I will admit, when I wrote the "Use Me" fic I needed a lot of help from her because I'd never written a smut fic before. There's also a part in Monty's "In Her Backseat" fic where Ellie's group of friends are eating lunch together, and Dina brushes some pizza sauce off of Ellie's face; that was me 👀. Oh and we have talked about doing a fic together, but we're still trying to find the right one. Feel free to leave suggestions 💕😁

Q7: hi dilliebar :D what do you see yourself doing as a career in the future and where do you picture yourself living? thanks! ❤️

A: Like i said earlier, I'm really interested in computer science, and I've been learning a lot of C++ and about computer structures since quarantine. I'm actually in college rn and I'm taking my first CS class this upcoming semester so I'm really excited for that! I'd love to work in the game development industry (Naughty Dog is my dream), but when I was younger I really wanted to work at Google, so who knows? But definitely the computer science field. As for where I want to live, that's a hard one. I've always been a city girl so I'd have to say somewhere populated, although once I retire I'd like to either just chill out on a nice farm somewhere or move back to my small hometown 😌💕

And that’s about it for this Q&A! Again, thank you guys so much for all the questions, I really wasn’t expecting such an incredible response. It’s really nice to talk to you guys, even if it’s anonymously :)

[abdicatedarchive]

imessage || chase and chanel

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: imessage // early march.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: chase x chanel.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: none

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: chanel sees a tweet from wren that leads her to believe that it is the green beacon from across the lake

chanel to chase: not to be some weird ex... but do you think there's a possibility that his tweet is a "chanel come over" sign? or is he like totally seeing someone else? 

chase to chanel: i should call the press (aka jonah) and tell them that THE chanel hampton has a case of the lingering exes ;) chase to chanel: and no he's not seeing anyone, so i could see that for sure chase to chanel: :))) you gonna go over there???

chanel to chase: ... 😡  chanel to chase: speaking of lingering exes, are you and gabrielle back together yet? it's been longer than usual chanel to chase: i mean if he wants me to go over there, im not gonna be rude and say no. besides, that means less time with my roommate

chase to chanel: ... 😡 no we are not yet chase to chanel: but at the same time, my body count is up to five? 😏 chase to chanel: the elusive roommate, who even is it? maybe I have a class with her (horny on main, but i could potentially take her off your hands every once in a while) chase to chanel: is she just annoying to you? or annoying in general? because that really effects my choices chase to chanel: are you going to wait for that text? or are you just going to show up? because those are two different things

chanel to chase: oooh look at you go!! proud of you :') chanel to chase: make sure not to fuck anymore of our teammates tho! ✨ chanel to chase: as both of us know, she's not into guys lmao chanel to chase: i thought maybe jonah would have brought it up to you, but it's juliette  🙃 chanel to chase: omg i cant be the one to make the first move, i cant look desperate! i already texted him first last time LIKE AN IDIOT 😭

chase to chanel: hahaha, thanks for the moral support. marina's got better things going for her anyways, it's also wayyyy to close to home for my taste chase to chanel: oh shit??? seriously? that's a mega plot twist.  chase to chanel: speaking of too close to home, that is wayyy to close. also gay, so that's a dead end. guess i won't be making things so awkward she switches dorms or schools :/ chase to chanel: if you want to get rid of her, just get her and stevie to talk chase to chanel: you texted FIRST???? wow. this is a lot to take in.

chanel to chase: well then let's shoot for some double digits for your body count! it's what you deserve 😌 chanel to chase: ugh right? like how bad could my luck be??? chanel to chase: ooh that does seem like a good idea. i don't talk to her too much since the break up but i can always work my magic on her 🥰 chanel to chase: he was literally typing and then stopped! so without thinking, i went ahead and asked him what he wanted. it was so embarrassing 😩

chase to chanel: i mean, there's no harm in trying chase to chanel: just be careful you don't seduce her on accident 🤡 chase to chanel: oh shitttt, juliette said something about how stevie doesn't even know she's here. maybe don't talk to stevie?? chase to chanel: oh that is embarrassing, not gonna sugar coat it. but you can come back from it for sure, just make sure not to text first. weakness is not good.

chanel to chase: no promises 😇    chanel to chase: she doesn't know?? actually i guess that makes sense. i've seen stevie around with some girl. if stevie knew juliette was here, they'd probably just be together? idk, things got weird with them chanel to chase: exactly, maybe i'll post a cute picture on instagram or something. idk if i'll get his attention, but i'll get somebody's!

chase to chanel: yeah that's the consensus that everyone but the two of them have tbh, poor other girl yikes chase to chanel: do you want somebody's attention, or do you want his?

chanel to chase: i'm sure juliette will break and go talk to her eventually, they were like always super sappy with each other when i would go to wren's band practices chanel to chase: i mean ... i would prefer his ... but i dont think he wants mine, so somebody else seems fine enough

chase to chanel: yeah and i like other girl's attention... whatever you say chase to chanel: but if you really want something, say it

chanel to chase: but you said weakness is not good!!! 😭    chanel to chase: and we're pretty much in the same boat. why dont you say something to gabrielle? hmmm?

chase to chanel: can a boy not give out hypocritical and confusing advice these days? chase to chanel: such a shame

chanel to chase: i'd prefer unconditional support, even if my ideas are stupid chanel to chase: we work great when we do that chanel to chase: plus, i like being told i'm right

chase to chanel: do you want me to tell you to text him? or not to text him? im honestly a big fan of you just showing up at his door, but that's just how i feel chase to chanel: you are always right <3

chanel to chase: not text him! chanel to chase: i might do crazy shit, but not that crazy. what if i go over there and he's literally in the middle of hooking up with someone? i couldn't beat her up, but i'd want to 😔 chanel to chase: 💖 

chase to chanel: if he was hooking up, why would he advertise being alone online? chase to chanel: also internet safety 101, don't tell people you're alone places chase to chanel: whatever you do, don't text him!!!

chanel to chase: idk!! we've been texting for a bit, someone could already be there chanel to chase: and he was like if you know, you know. and i wasnt sure if that just meant that jets always kicking him out or if he was acting all dude bro-ish and being like "ahahaha got the room all to myself. gonna get laid all weekend"

chase to chanel: not to act up ... but i can text him for you? see if he wants to game or something? chase to chanel: jet does kick him out all the time though, he's always sleeping in here

chanel to chase: ooh i guessss  chanel to chase: wait no! even if he's not busy, i cant just take my ass over to his room. thats like texting him first chanel to chase: right, he told me about that chanel to chase: idk maybe this is all pointless. we pretty much never talk to each other. it's almost been a year, i'm sure he's moved on

chase to chanel: do what you want girl, whatever is good for you!!! chase to chanel: text me what you pick tho, i do wanna know

chanel to chase: i think i'm gonna go skate somewhere chanel to chase: i'll update you tho, love you 💖

chase to chanel: love you! make good choices!!

[colacatinthehat]

Hello again! (I do hope you don’t mind my messages; please let me know if they ever become too bothersome). I wanted to say that I loved that dubbing of the Zelink comic you put up. I don’t think it was “trashy” at all. (I think we all want Link and Zelda to be together, at least to some degree; I mean, look at all he’s done, and continues to do for her! I digress). The main point of this message was to inquire as to where I could find the aforementioned comic. I looked all around this webpage and couldn’t find it. I could just totally be missing it (as I’ve stated numerous times before, technology and I aren’t on the best of terms). Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated. 

Thanks in advance!

~Noah

P.s. I wanted to thank you again for permitting me that sneak peak of the next Zelda’s Diary entry! I can’t wait for it! I wish you all the best. 

Hi Noah!  Thanks for your submission! It’s quite hard for me to respond to these because of the way tumblr sets up submitted text. If possible, in future could you send me either a fanmail (it’s the little letter icon on my main tumblr page) or you can email me at colacatinthehat@gmail.com! That way I can reply to you easier 8D

Thank you! I’m very happy you liked the comic dub! Didn’t they do a great job? I’m super blessed people want to make stuff like that <3 I should clarify - when I say trashy I don’t necessarily mean bad. Just... A little bit sappy and hopeless. But what can I say? They make a cute couple!!

Here is a link to the original post for you! 

In answer to your previous question;

Don’t worry, I’m pretty......... Knee deep in Zelda’s Diary so at the rate we’re going I’ll probably be just wrapping up by the time they make a new Zelda game... This comic is pretty long...... I hope you’ll bear with me!!

Also, I saw the announcement about the new book! How exciting!!! I am very into the lore but I’m currently moving house at least once a year and don’t have a car so I can’t justify hoarding giant Zelda books to sate my thirst for content. I do have a copy of the Hyrule Historia because I wanted to read the Hylink manga and I will definitely be purchasing a copy of the one about Breath of the Wild for reference purposes. (Thats my excuse anyway...) From the sound of it I’m guessing you have the full set? ;D

Thanks for the messages and kind works, I’m very happy you like the Zelda stuff! I have a lot of fun making it!! It’s no trouble, sharing WIPs is a blast and I worry people will think I’m lazing about!

All the best,

Holly