#... im halfway done with junior year what the fuck

[silvr-skreen]

progress on my shrine it still looks like shit bc i have to cut the other images down and like. assemble stuff. i literally JUST put it up today. but i have a custome keychain i ordered and a cute selfship YCH of my S/I narine and Hydros

[donald4spiderman]

HOTCH FIC/BLURB BASED OFF OF THIS ASK

I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY IM SO SORRY.

TW: sub!hotch (😫), boss/employee, penetrative sex, unprotected sex & creampie, kissing, degradation, (GN!AFAB Reader)

for @hotch-and-bunny & @reidstoychest

-

Maybe it’s the way his blazer is a little too large for his shoulders. Maybe it’s the way he refuses to gel his raven hair, constantly brushing it away from his face. Maybe it’s the way he’s so eager to learn, the way he’s such a good listener.

Aaron’s younger than you— give or take five or six years your junior— and you’re his superior, his unit chief. I mean, there’s no way Gideon would ever consider making a pass at any of the female agents working below him. There’s a standard for professionalism in the BAU, which includes not sleeping with your employees.

But Aaron makes it so hard, with his timid knocks on the door and jittery hands. You wonder if he was different during his prosecuting days— maybe he was just out of his element at the bureau. But he’s a damn good profiler and an even better man. So, you ease up on the hungry gazes and treat him like every other agent.

Or at least, you try.

It’s past midnight, and you hear the faint of the vacuum come to a halt as the custodians finish up their shift. You’re at work later than the night shift custodians. Shouldn’t you be heading home?

You pack up your briefcase full of your case files, only stopping when you hear a soft knock on your door. You know that knock— the three-beat rhythm, each one slightly my confident than the next, but not quite assertive.

“Come in, Aaron.” You shout so he can hear you from the outside.

He greets you with a small smile, holding a manila folder out to you wordlessly, his teeth occupied with biting his bottom lip.

“Is this the Troy Perry case file?” You question.

“Y-yes.”

“Is it complete?”

Aaron shrugs, “Sort of. I mean... I think so?”

You sigh, running a finger over your brow bone. “It’s a simple question, Aaron. Yes or no. Is it complete? Or is there still work needed to be done?”

You’re too hard on him. Aaron’s sweet, the sweetest man you’ve ever known. But he has the potential to be the leader that the bureau needs— strong-willed, deeply moral, and most importantly passionate. You just need to crack that unsure exterior.

“I-I finished all the sections!” He exclaims out of nervousness. “I just wanted to see if you thought they were good enough.”

His brows knit together as you study his expressions, most likely feeling weighed down by your stare.

“I trust you.” You state, placing the file in your desk drawer. “I don’t need to look over it.”

“A-are you sure?” Aaron asks. “What if there’s a mistake. S-Shouldn’t you check for those kinds of things?”

You press your hand down firmly on your wooden desk, “Are you telling me how to do my job?”

His jaw falls open, and his hands rush out to aid his apology, “No! No! I didn’t mean it like that, Ma’am.”

You can’t help the way your thighs rub together, unmistakably aroused. “Don’t question me, or yourself, okay? What we do is important, and you have to be sure of yourself when you make decisions.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Thank you for everything.” That boy is going to be the death of you.

You shrug, “Don’t mention it.”

He smiles, big and bright, with all his teeth showing and his eyes creasing. You smile back, albeit less wide. You catch the way his eyes flick down to your plump lips, and he clears his throat nervously.

“I-I think— I’m gonna head h-home.”

You nod, all but prepared to let him walk away. You know what you’re about to do could ruin any semblance of the false formality to two of you hold with each other. You know Aaron wants you; it’s easy to see. You are a profiler, after all.

“Alright.” You say, letting him walk halfway out the door before calling him back in. “Aaron?”

his head jolts up, “Yes?”

You take three large strides until you’re face to face with him, pulling him to the side of the doorway, letting the door close shut before slamming your lips against his.

He’s rooted in place, eyes wide open as he takes in exactly what’s going on. You break away from the kiss, and truth be told, you’re just as nervous as he is.

“We don’t have to do anything, Aaron. I’m not going to punish you if you don’t want to sleep with me. That is... unless you want me to?”

Aaron’s neck flushes a warm rose, and despite his uneasy voice, you feel the bulge in his slacks pressing against the front of your thigh.

“T-this is, uh, we shouldn’t— right?” His breath fans your face.

“Tell me you don’t want this.” You deadpan. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you haven’t dreamt of fucking me, then I’ll let you go. I'll pretend this never happened, and you can go back to calling me Ma’am and keeping me six feet away.”

“I can’t.” Aaron sighs. “I can’t lie to your face and tell you I don’t want this.”

“I fucking knew it.” You laugh, rubbing your hands down his shoulders. “You want me.”

It wasn’t a question, but he answers anyway. “Yes, Ma’am. I want you so much.”

“Ma’am?” You grin. “You like calling me Ma’am?”

He nods, and you smile, bringing his lips against yours. This time, Aaron is more responsive, closing his eyes and letting his lips roam, hands resting on your waist.

“I want you, Aaron. Right here. Right now.” You growl, working to undo the knot in his tie.

“W-what? I-I don’t know what you mean...”

“You’re going to fuck me against my desk as hard as you can, Aaron. I need you inside of me. Now.”

You can see the gears turning in his mind, unable to process what you’ve said fully.

“Do you understand, Aaron?” You purr, opening up his shirt and raking your nails down his stomach.

“Uh huh.” He finally nods. “I-I understand.”

“Good.” Your smile is teasing in a sickly sweet manner. “For a second there, I thought you were too dumb to follow orders.”

He follows closely behind you as you perch yourself onto the wooden surface of your desk. You slide both your trousers and your underwear down, exposing just how much you need him.

“Come here and fuck me already.” You demand as he works his belt buckle open, slowed down by the tremor of his hands.

Once he finally frees his cock from his pants, you know there’s no turning back, no way you could look at him without wanting to fuck him. His cock is flushed and hard, precum leaking out of the tip.

Aaron strokes himself firmly twice before lining up his cock with your entrance. Before he can push himself in, you pull his lips down for a tender kiss, releasing his face so you can watch the way he sheaths into you.

You’re instantly breathless; the warm feeling in your lower stomach combined with Aaron’s blissed-out face makes you clench with excitement.

“Fuck me.” You exclaim, pulling his thighs closer to yours. “Fuck me as hard as you can. Prove to me your not fucking worthless.”

Aaron lets out a strangled groan before slamming his hips forward, burying himself as deep as possible into you before pulling out, repeating his motions.

“F-Fuck.” You cry, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I knew you’d be good at this. Such a good boy.”

His head comes down to nip at the flesh on your collarbones. There’s no doubt that you’ll be marked up tomorrow, but you don’t mind one bit.

Aaron continues pounding into you, the sound of your skin filling the entire office. His hips roll expertly into yours as he snakes his hand between your bodies to rub your clit.

“I’m so close, Ma’am.” He whines, resting his forehead breathlessly against yours. “Can I p-please cum? Please?”

You shake your head, “Hold out a little bit longer, baby— I’m so fucking close.”

His fingers circle your clit faster, and he seems to appreciate the way you moan louder. He feels the quicker in your thighs and the hitch in your breath. Soon enough, your legs are shaking, and your back is arching off the desk.

“Fuck, Aaron!” You shout, tossing your head back in a silent scream.

Aaron takes your scream as his cue, groaning as he cums inside of your pussy, thick ropes filling you up perfectly. He slams his hips once more into you, wincing at the overstimulation, before pulling out altogether.

He places a wordless kiss on your forehead, an innocent gesture to close off your filthy activities.

“Thank you.” He whispers as you thread your fingers into his hair.

You hum in response, “My pleasure.”

[lunar-lair]

ok say hello to my insanely new oc who ive made entirely to be a villain who is still an excellent adult and a decent parent, probably. cares too much abt kids. think reigen mob psycho with a drop or two of milla. worked under Nick From The Mailroom and was actually in on his scheme.

has always been rather cold and brash towards adults, but is more caring towards kids. in my brain he has a brooklyn type accent? rough and tumble, walks around without a tie, yknow? they keep him cause he sorts mail real good, though.

(added a read more because this got INSANELY LONG AKSKSK i spent like an hr on this h)

he was a delugeionist, but only because he kinda just wanted to rip the world apart a little; lysandre vibes, thinks a lot of it is scum and needs to go. thinks the *psychonauts* are scum and need to go. hes psychic but suppressed it, think aquato parents but extra toxic about it, and straight up just saying being psychic is unnatural. wouldnt go to loboto parent lengths tho. so he adopted that thought of 'being psychic is unnatural and wrong', which contributed to a lot of self hate that was never learned out. likely, he realizes hes a shitty person and thinks he needs to go too. so like...yknow hank, dbh? kinda the vibe im gettin right now. way more formal, of course, and while usually gruff, is more polite when its needed; can and *will* beat the shit out of you verbally in a factual way, though, and can talk more street-lingo if hes talkin to real thugs. (probably winged it on his own after failing college or smth, hes got the vibes.)

anyways, its this plot where he slinks off and starts planting mistrust in the psychonauts or something. and inevitably he just...shows up and starts kidnapping people. dismantling things from the inside and all that. he left and formed a group who also hated psychics at some point, likely friends of his parents and friends of friends, all from his hometown. all of them fight *insanely* dirty, and a lot of them are insanely vulgar. the kids are supposed to be kept away.

but theres a line to follow here.

this man is a fold to raz. hates the psychonauts, hates being psychic, adopted his parent's hate of psychics, hates the *world.* raz is young and unburdened and unjaded...mostly. hes not the shock of water some young characters can be when it comes to being the foils of other characters; think steven with a villain or something, right? but raz is sassy and a little jaded, and not total sunshine positivity.

hes a child this man could look down on and not be immediately annoyed by, who is worried by yet respects raz's realization of the world as it is, however little that is.

and yet raz is still his foil. he still mostly loves the psychonauts, despite it all, he loves being psychic, for the most part, he dodged adopting his parents previous values, he still seems to have an even view of the world as a whole.

raz is jaded, if only a little, but he moved past it and accepted that things could still be bright. this man is jaded, but he stayed in his stormclouds, never looked for the sun.

ok where. was i. RIGHT ok so. at the beginning of this...story? the man finds raz being talked down to by one of the office workers; someone with weak psychic powers whos insanely jealous of his prowess. an adult who envies the young prodigy. and theyre giving him some insane task to do, like cleaning all of the closets within the hour, but hes saved the world twice, so he smiles and nods along, because he said he would help around the motherlobe, and this adult is asking him to do something that seems simple enough.

and this guy, internally, goes 'bitch.' for a good long second bc 1. dude even if you envy a kid, kinda fucked to show that?? not their fault 2. WHY are you asking a 10 year old to do that. why is there a 10 year old here. holy shit thats a 10 year old oh my god hes so tiny (no one told him there was a 10 year old because they knew hed stomp right up to management but. regardless. he is going to stomp up to management after this and no one can really stop him. except maybe raz well see)

so yknow. dude fixes his slight slouch and walks forward and politely tells this woman that 1. hes 10 why are you jealous of him and 2. hes 10????????? and shes like shit hes 10. and apologizes. and walks away

and raz is VERY ?? bc she was doing what? why is him being 10 important? and its that young part of you that gets pissed when people try to keep you from doing things because youre young and hes DEFINITELY yet to learn that piling responsibilites that should be handled by adults onto a child is fucked up in its own special way (looking at you ford, *nick*)

and the dude calmly explains because yea. he gets that. and he still sounds gruff and a little peeved but he squats down to razs height and he talks simply and factually, telling him straight on why it isnt right.

and. huh. people dont really do that for raz. except for sasha, sometimes, everyone likes to dodge the truth a lot with him, because hes 10, and sometimes, hes too nice to tug it out of them.

and this guy, this man that raz is already polishing a trophy for 'good adulting' in the back of his brain with his striking statements about how adults should handle things and kids should-kids should...get to have fun. not be traumatized.

for the shock on his face when raz said hed already saved the world a couple times, whats some closets. he reigned it in, said that its weird he saved the world, because thats usually their jobs.

and this guy offers his hand on instict before he stands up, even though he doesnt seem very sweet and kind like the adults that usually offer raz a hand. and he takes it, i think. he takes it.

warm. warm, a little nice.

reminds raz of his dad, maybe. he wonders if this man has any kids himself, but keeps his mouth shut, because he thinks he already has the answer, and its yes.

(he doesnt have any. he would wish he did, but he knows hed fail to raise them right.)

and when he stands, he asks raz what he was asking that woman for, and he says hes doing tasks around the motherlobe because his papers are still coming in. the man doesnt ask. (he knows what 'papers' means, realizes this is the tiny junior psychonaut every room in the damn place has been buzzing about, and he has fucking words for forsythe.) he just offers for the kid to sort mail under his supervision.

and that sounds boring. at least, it usually would.

this man is interesting, and a good...person? a good adult? hes...hes new. hes new, and calm, and a little like sasha but a lot not, and he thinks he trusts him.

so raz grins and says yea, mail sorting sounds nice.

(debatably, raz does not take his hand. hes too jaded when it comes to adults. debatably, he does not feel any warmth from this man who has taught him every adult has been telling him wrong. debatably, im projecting. but thats the whole point of ocs, hm?)

and then holes crop up in motherlobe systems. people are kidnapped.

raz keeps seeing the strange man, keeps telling him things, keeps hearing back, gruff and factual and a little annoyed, but raz can almost-just-barely tell its not at him, with the way he talks.

he can tell. he can tell.

he can never tell. this man is making sure he can tell.

raz trusts the man, is still polishing that trophy for 'best adulting' he has settling in the back of his mind.

and then the man comes with a militia.

he did not seem jaded. he did not seem hateful. he never showed any anger or hate towards raz.

but thats because he knows kids dont deserve it.

an excellent moral or two. a rotten, broken heart.

and at first, they keep the kids away, because these people fight dirty, because this isnt their battle, because the man has been sending emails about why 15 year olds are in a secret psychic agency.

(he does not mention raz. by razs second visit, he had just marked the boy down as another reason to hate the psychonauts as a whole, and especially its higher ups.

hes also regretting his alliance to nick by about the third. if he had known the man would puppet a child as if they were a toy, he would have organized his own rebellion ages ago.)

but eventually, the psychonauts need all hands on deck.

they send the children to find the missing agents.

the interns are fought on the way. some of them avoid the child, know the boss would pummel them.

they get to the base, and the strange man, the one with the broken trophy for 'best adult' (still barely-polished, because hes still so sure) still nestled in the back of razs brain, is still there.

the junior psychonauts are spotted. one of the guards throws a few rocks aimlessly.

they surprise them. one almost hits raz.

its intercepted instead.

and the other junior psychonauts watch as this man, their enemy, a villain, in their eyes, reprimands the other man for even accidentally daring, for even trying. for doing something they might have done just a month or so ago, if they had decided he was too much weirder than they already had.

and he yells something like, "Why the hell is he even here?! This is an enemy base, of whats a rebellion! This is a *10 year old*! What kind of adult sends a child *near* something like that?!" and he truly sounds angry this time, raz finds. hes too angry to keep it in. he still sounds gruff and oddly proper. raz is standing there, arms hanging. hes baffled in a specific way, the way he was every time the man's brow furrowed when he mentioned a harrowing story, the way he was the first day they met.

and he asks, a little quiet, a little small, a reminder of how young he really is, "Why are you still trying to keep me safe? We're supposed to be enemies now."

And his brow furrows further before flattening out, and he tilts onto one leg, and he swears he almost kneels to a knee.

He cant believe it. He really cant.

"You're 10." he says simply, softly, that factual way. "You shouldn't even be here."

and raz pauses. the interns freeze.

"...well, here I am."

and i think...it would be so intriguing if this was done halfway out of the mind, because this man is so against anything psychic. it would be so *compelling.*

so raz steps forward and asks again, asks why hes doing this.

and the mans eyes harden, he tries to turn off that soft heart, trying to remind himself of all that he hates. because he hates the psychonauts, because he sort of hates the world.

and raz asks why he could ever hate the psychonauts, head tilted, before listing off the few he knows to be true. but other than that, how? and ok, the world sucks a little, yea, hes seen that, gets that.

and he appreciates that this kid isnt totally gung ho about existence.

but he hates that he isnt, too.

and its this back and forth. everything the man hates, why he hates it. raz saying why its good but admitting why its bad.

and hes swayed, just a little.

but the man stands up from the kneel hed inevitably instinctively put himself into, and walks forward, hand held out yet again.

"You shouldn't be in the Psychonauts," he tells him, soft, factual, brow furrowed. "Come with me. I'll bring you back to your parents, or wherever it is you want to go."

raz contemplates. thinks, for a long moment.

he grabs the mans hand, warm and firm, yet again, for a terrifying moment.

before he reaches up to slap a mental door on his forehead, and astral projects into it.

he thinks this man is good. thinks hes just jaded.

thinks hes the best adult hes ever met, one who just happens to hate a lot of things.

hes only 10.

hes not letting someone who can tell him so clearly whats wrong and right for adults to tell him go that easily.

aaaand yknow. raz does his razzy thing. learns about why the guy hates the world and the psychonauts and himself. helps him learn that its not all bad, that he was excellent to raz, and still is, that things can be bad and good all at once.

the man concedes that raz is very capable, very smart, and can do a lot. but that doesnt mean he should have to.

raz tells him, though, that he likes working for the psychonauts. its his dream. and he realizes some things he was told to do were kinda screwed up, now. that maybe, in honesty, he was dealt a bad hand.

but hes done what he can with that hand, and he ended up with a royal flush.

and uh! yknow!! then raz leaves his mind and he calls off the rebellion! its like a rhombus of ruin type adventure, except without the villain being present beforehand. its just not clustered in insanely close with a ton of other wild shit.

anyways this got really long? sorry?? its an oc i just saw good adult and slight father vibe potential in the vibe i instantly got on him and then i went feral???? rip maybe someone will read this and if you did. congrats i honestly really liked how the whole foil and good-yet-bad and consideration of raz being 10 thing worked out. this oc is almost like our representative in the psychonauts world the way reigen is for the audience in mp100. yea :) i match them up a lot but thats just cause they vibe a lot. anyways its 1:40 am now and i spent abt an hour on this hope it vibed mildly byeeee

[justcryingxx]

Bryce’s stepsister pt. 3

-part 1 part 2

not my gif ^

summary: you’re Bryce Walker his new stepsister and you get welcomed to the world on liberty high as a junior. 

A/N: i’ll recommend reading my other parts first, if there are any mistakes lmk, english isn’t my first language

words: 1142

warnings: cursing?

I was walking next to Bryce trough the doors of liberty high, I knew he was popular, and I knew my friends were too. Bryce warned me this morning that I’m going to be the subject that students talk about the first few weeks, positive and negative. People can be jealous he said. “let’s make this an amazing junior year” I smiled before I pushed the heavy door in front of me open.

 “are you coming to the game Friday?” Monty asked me leaning against my locker. “well hello to you too, I guess I’ll have to since that’s the first official game for the cheerleaders” I smiled putting my books in my bag. It was the second week of school and upcoming Friday the sports seasons start again, I joined cheer team and we have this ceremony Wednesday and Friday is the first official game. You and monty talked while walking to Spanish.

 It was lunchbreak and Jeff came up to you, “hey Megan, do you know where Monty is?” I looked up from my phone “hey jeff, I have no clue, why would I know” you smiled. “well I figured since you two are always together since begin schoolyear.” He laughed while sitting down next to you, I was about to respond when I heard Jessica and Zach coming up. “Mrs. Robinson sucks! It’s only the second week of school and we have an assignment” she sighed; Zach laughed. “Mrs. Robinson? Oh chemistry right?” you asked while taking a bite of your sandwich.

 At the same time Monty came up to our table and sat down next to me placing his arm around my shoulder, I looked over and smiled “hey Mont” he greeted some of the boys and faced you, “I like that name, shorty” you pouted “stop calling me that” he laughed “you’re cute, can I copy your Spanish?” I snorted and handed him my textbook. Jeff started talking “Monty, coach told me to let you know you need to come by at his office after school, it’s about the captain thing” Mont nodded

 Justin sat down next to Jessica and gave her a kiss on her cheek “Averly, this girl named Hannah or something was looking for you” he said while looking at you. “shit, I promised her to be in the library during lunch break.” I quickly stood up and grabbed my stuff “Cruz, can you keep my Spanish book with you or are you already done” he looked up “since when are we on last names? And yes, I’ll give it back later” I smiled and said goodbye and then walked to the library.

 Hannah and I were assigned to do our history project together, and since I wanted to start the year good we thought it would be smart to finish it as soon as possible, luckily the project wasn’t huge so after lunchbreak we already were halfway. “I have to get to math, but we can finish it after school?” I asked. “uhm yea sure, my house?” Hannah shyly asked. “alright see you then” I flashed her a smile and walked away.

I wasn’t looking and was busy on my phone when I walked into someone. “omg im so sorry-“ I started, I looked up and saw Bryce, he laughed. “can you tell mom that I’m working on a history project so I’m home later?” Bryce nodded, I thanked him and then walked further. I texted monty,

  Mont :)

M = monty

M = megan (you)

 What do you have fifth?

Uhh history

Can you meet me before you need to meet the coach at my locker?

Yea sure, why?

You have my Spanish book dummy

I was hoping you just wanted to see me but okay :/

Aw I feel so bad for you

 You laughed and then walked into math, “hey Zach”

 You where waiting at your locker when you finally saw Monty. “geez what took you so long” i immediately said. “I had to take a piss” he smirked while he handed your Spanish book, “well I didn’t really needed to know that, good luck at the coach” you smiled “yes thanks, it’s about whether I or Jeff gets to be captain upcoming season” he looked nervous, I put my hand on his arm “you got this, but I gtg, history project” I gave him a quick hug and then walked towards my car.

 History project sucked, but I did get to know Hannah better tho. She’s a good girl but she seems afraid of me or something. I tried to be as nice to her as I am to everyone, but she still was shy. When I left, I decided to check if Monty was still at school. I just got there when I saw him walking across the parking lot. “Monty!!” I yelled, he turned around and smiled when he saw me, he jogged towards me and I stepped out of my car.

 “and? How did it go” I asked hoping for the best. He smiled widely “im the captain”. I gave him a hug, I knew how much this meant for him “I’m so proud of you, mont” he smirked “so we’re back on nicknames, shorty” I laughed “just shut up”. he bit his lip “make me”, I looked up “I mean I could try but I’m to short to reach your lips” I smiled, he rolled his eyes “fuck you megan” he put his hands under my ass and lifted me up to kiss me. he put me back down and I started to blush, he started to walk away. When he was in front of his car he yelled this “you’re cute when you’re blushing, goodnight shorty” I smirked and got back in my car.

 When I got home everyone was already eating, “hey guys” I said while putting my bag on the floor. I went and sat next to my mother across from Bryce. “how was history?” mom asked

 “Megan, hurry!!” Bryce yelled from down the stairs. “we’re gonna be late!”, I quickly came down the stairs, I grabbed some fruit and then we both left for school. It was Wednesday and you only have 2 lessons because it’s the ceremony. Everything was explained at cheer practice yesterday, they call a player and the assigned girl goes first, does a short routine and then the player follows. You were assigned with Zach, you didn’t mind since he’s a good friend of you and you guys get along great.

 I was talking in the hallway with Montgomery when his name got called, “I got to go, but I know you’ve got this meg.” He smiled and then walked trough the doors. I heard the speakers “and now Zach Dempsey!” he opened the doors for me, I took a deep breath and then did my routine.

[solecize]

REPLY 2009 ⠀ ⠀⠀.⠀⠀.⠀⠀.⠀(OR: 2009, YEAR OF US) — 002.

now playing: club no. 1 by super junior

summary: ten years ago, we found ourselves at a turning point in pop culture as the decade began to close. this was the year that brought the world obama, the death of michael jackson, and the highest grossing film of all time, avatar. however, in south korea, something big was brewing as well and it started off with infectious lyrics, colourful costumes, and sensational dance moves: kpop. the korean wave that started to build several years ago begins to find its footing in the international limelight in 2009. this was the golden era of kpop. this was the time of sorry, sorry. the debut of quite possibly the most different and groundbreaking girl group in korean entertainment, 2NE1. the rise of shinee, one of the most consistent boy bands of this era and beyond. the throne of bigbang would remain steady with their ventures into japan. and of course. . . snsd's gee that would solidify their place as the nation’s girl group and overtake their male counterparts. nothing can touch this legendary age.meanwhile, in the very city that milled and churned out these stars, eight teenagers were also coming to a certain close in 2009. youth was suddenly running out like grains of a darkened hourglass, as everything and everyone brought tension into their lives. where was the next step on their path? high school is nothing more than a cruel halfway point between childhood and adulthood, but this group of friends made the most out of it. after all, this is the youngest that they'll ever be. this age is the time where hopes rise higher than ever, where love burns the most passionately, and the desire for freedom expands the furthest. in 2009, we follow these teenagers' stories to the background music of the opening chapters of kpop's greatest legacies.but, ten years later at their high school reunion, where do we find them.”

or: highschool!got7, dancecrew!got7, coming of age, school reunion angst, reader x ?

APRIL 2006 (3)

Slick, strawberry ice cream never tasted so fulfilling until that day’s relentless sun. Though it was only spring time, it must have been at least twenty degrees outside and when the air conditioning system broke in our classroom, I was left an absolute mess. The workload of being a first year high school student was made into an unfortunate underestimation and the weather only caused more stress to my body.

“Yours looks good, I should’ve just gotten the same thing as you,” Youngjae frowned, as he looked at his own vanilla scoops. He leaned in to take a taste of my cone, but I merely interrupted with a noise of disapproval.

“Nuh uh. Nice try, Choi Youngjae, this happens every single time.” I turned my back so that he couldn’t take any and hummed.

All it took to convince him to skip his after school vocal lessons was a distressed IM, claiming that I had an emergency. Sure, it was probably wrong to use my loyal best friend just to have a companion to get ice cream, but he’d done the same thing on several occasions. I’d missed so much time at Hagwon because of him. Great minds think alike and Youngjae wasn’t even mad when I met up with him outside of his school with a carefree attitude, clearly not having any emergencies to worry about.

“I should’ve known,” he said upon seeing my figure approach him at the front of my school.

“Oh, shut up.” I frowned and punched his shoulder in what was supposed to be a playful way, but he nevertheless yelped at the contact. “I never get to see you anyway with you stupid training anyway. Live a little and spend the afternoon with your best friend!” At that, Youngjae grinned and he couldn’t say no. Next thing we knew and we ended up at our favourite ice cream shop.

We continued walking along the sidewalk a busy street in the Guro district of the city. It was only five o’clock and people were rushing to get home to their families; cars flying by, people trying to beat the rush onto the subway lines, bicycle lanes filled up. It was busy as ever, as Seoul as ever. There weren’t that many people our age around, as most first year high school students like ourselves should be at after school lessons.

“Do you ever wonder what will be like when we’re like them?” Youngjae was eying some older college kids inside a random cafe that we were walking by, as I tried to keep my long hair out of the ice cream.

Two of them appeared to be a couple, while several other kids surrounded them at the same table. They were laughing, listening to music, and flipping through American magazines and I could feel jealousy running through my veins. Their parents weren’t frantically calling them when they were late by a minute or two returning from tutoring or yelling at them to grow up. They were grown.

I replied, “I wonder what we’ll be like when we’re like them.” Pointing at a pair of people trying to hail a taxi, a man and woman dressed in business casual attire, it seemed like they were making their way back to home. I wanted nothing more than to grow up and relish in unknown liberation.

Youngjae followed my gaze and thought about it for a moment. “You’ll be whatever it is what you want to be—” I rolled my eyes at that. It wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t exactly sure of what I wanted in a career, lacking passion for any field or hobby. My parents wanted Jinyoung and I to pursue lavish medical careers, but he was the only one with the endurance and intellectual capabilities to do so.

“—And you will be a successful singer.”

A light tint of pink spread across Youngjae’s cheeks, ever so bashful regarding his ambitions. However, there was no doubt that he was eventually going to be a star one day. I’d never seen such comparable talent to him.

I continued on, “Maybe we don’t have to wait so long! Didn’t you say that your company is looking to debut a new group next year?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he dismissed my statement, “it’s not a guarantee, though. And what if they don’t even pick me to be apart of the group?”

“You’ve been under their management since the seventh grade! They’d be crazy to cut you.” I was still able to recall the day of Youngjae’s first audition to the company, where I’d accompanied him on the weekend instead of studying at home with Jinyoung. Nerves were never one to affect Youngjae, but on that day, he couldn’t stop shaking no matter what he did. It was only when he was finally called that he was able to take a deep breathe. He got the acceptance call the following few weeks after. I’d march right down to the company office myself, they wouldn’t dare take away my gifted best friend for four years just to cut him out of their boy group.

Youngjae shrugged, then looked back to where we were observing the two adults. They were gone. “By our thirties, we’ll be happy for sure and that’s all I care about. Maybe you’ll finally grow out of Super Junior—hey, don’t give me that look!”

I quickly rid of the bitter expression on my face and laughed. Tugging his arm, I told Youngjae that we should go to an arcade instead of watch strangers like some creeps. I thought, maybe this part of being a teenager isn’t so bad. For now, I was willing to embrace this and so was he.

PRESENT DAY (4)

“Remember that time that Bambam knocked over an entire shelf?”

Letting his name slip past my lips felt so foreign, it seemed like forever since talking about my old friend. It wasn’t like recalling a one time anecdote, but a piece of life. Jinyoung emulated the odd sensation, not hiding the way he paused his walking for a split second at the sound of Bambam’s name. Then, after getting over the initial feeling, he burst out into laughter.

Shoulders shaking with each chuckle, Jinyoung replied, “My god, that was fucking hilarious. It was after we found out that we qualified for the NDCCs, right?”

“And Mr. Lee gave him a weeks’ detention for it!” I nodded vigorously. There was no way that my mind could forget that day, especially not the priceless looks of excitement on the boys' faces. The memory was fresh in my mind, as if it had occurred the afternoon prior.

The two of us were the lone people in that empty hallway after choosing to explore the second floor. Jinyoung claimed that he wanted to find his first year homeroom for old times sake. He’d walked straight past the library, probably because of all the last minute studying that he used to do in there that continued to haunt him, but I took a quick glance inside. The interiors were darkened, but I could make out the familiar layout of the room for the most part. I hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time in there unless I had to during my years, so Bambam was the first thought to come to mind.

“Hey, our old lockers are somewhere here!” My brother exclaimed, having made his way into another corridor.

I didn’t need to follow his voice, remembering exactly where the lockers were. It wasn’t quite Jinyoung’s locker, but he often used Jaebum’s instead of his own, as it was situated on the undesirable basement floor. Mine was just two away from their shared space and by the end of high school, the three of us claimed the entire block as our own.

Passing by the iconic music room, I found Jinyoung kneeling in front of a block of lockers. I had to stop myself from entering, as I figured that it would be best to do it later when he was here. Watching Jinyoung peered into each one, probably trying to jog his memory, it was odd to realize just how old we’d become. Spending countless of days in this hallway for three years, yet my brother couldn’t even remember which locker was Jaebum’s.

“Oh! This one’s mine!” I giggled, spotting the locker immediately, even from the distance I was at. Stepping forward, I pointed to the one that was three away from mine. “This is the one you’re looking for.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “How did you figure that out?”

Smirking, I gestured to the corner, where faint lettering was carved into the metal. There was no way I was going to leave Haerin without a trace, so as I ran my thumb over the imprint ‘SJ,’ I was more than pleased to see that it lasted for ten years. I nearly forgot that I did this, but it was probably one of the best decisions I made before graduating.

“What—holy shit.” Jinyoung looked at the ‘SJ’ carving and was silent for a moment, blank stare. Then, he burst out into hysterical laughter, to which I made a face at. “And you were even playing, what was it? Club No.1! You played it on the way here. Some things never change, huh?”

He was right. Some things never do change and I was content with that, knowing I still had a bit of that high schooler in me. It didn’t matter if it was Super Junior or that childlike innocence, or even my first loves that blossomed in these hallowed halls. The years pass, just as my branches grow rapidly, but returning to my roots reminded me of how much I longed for those days once again.

MARCH 2009 (5)

Lee Donghae's angelic voice continued to ring in my ears the whole train and bus ride home from the fan meeting. It was like a broken song stuck on replay on my MP3 and there was not a single thing I could do about it—not that I wanted to. I'd felt as though I was on cloud nine the entire time I was there, despite the fact that their thirteen members were just little dots from the seat I was in. Minyoung swore up and down that Siwon stared right at her for the majority of the event and we argued about it for the entire commute home, just before she got off at the bus stop ten minutes before I did.

Skipping school was practically unheard of, but it was a risk I was willing to take for Super Junior.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school!" she waved at me happily, as she strolled out of the bus with ease. I could never imagine having such nonchalance in my step after missing a full day of class to see an idol group, not with my hardass parents. However, Minyoung mentioned that her mother didn't care, too busy drinking her life away.

Unfortunately for myself, things were different. I paid Jinyoung almost my entire part time salary for him to do his imitation of our father's voice and call in sick for me with the school. Nobody seemed to suspect a thing when the two of us "left" for classes in the morning, as I wore my uniform and carried my backpack. In reality, I had to make a beeline for Minyoung's house, where I would change into some more fashionable clothing and eventually, the two of us left for the noon fan meeting. We made time for us to be able to hope on the bus back home. Needless to say, everything went smoothly, at least up to this point. Sneaking out was fine, but sneaking back in? A different story and certainly the nadir of the day.

It felt obligatory to repeat examples of excuses out loud over and over again as I made my way home.  "Sorry I'm late! I had a few questions to ask about my physics test. . .no, no, that sounds too forced . ."

Any car that passed by me on the street that even had the slightest of semblance to my mother's or any patrol vehicle that belonged to the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency granted a near heart attack. However, nothing came of these scares, so I continued walking along the sidewalk towards my house. There were some crazy things that teenagers did for their idols.

The only way to about successfully sneaking back in was the secret path. It led to behind the house from a convenience store that Jinyoung and I used to play in when we were kids. Looking back, we were absolutely insane. It was the scariest alleyway that I could conjure in my imagination, for it barely fit two bodies and allowed very little light to seep through. If it wasn't in broad daylight, I wouldn't be crossing this way at all. At the very least, it wasn't long after squeezing through that I could barely make out the house in the distance.

However, as soon as I stepped out of the alleyway, a large figure came out from the sides.

"Shit!"

Enduring the wind was knocked straight out of my chest, the other figure didn’t even seemed fazed at the sudden collision of bodies. I stumbled back a few steps, sputtering as I did so. There was a light chuckle and when I looked up, I saw Jaebum’s cheeky smile.

“And where do you think you’re coming from?” he raised an eyebrow at me and my heart stopped. I obviously did not think this far; Jinyoung’s friends were usually hanging around the house. I didn’t think that any of them would cause trouble, but then there was Jaebum, who would gladly give a side comment to my parents about my truancy just to see the look on my face.

I tried to play it off, pulling the best casual shrug that I was capable of. “School. I had to stay after school to ask Mr. Go some questions.”

“Last time I checked, you weren’t in class, especially without uniform on." Jaebum raised his eyebrows and reached out, touching my hair. "And you actually brushed your hair? You definitely went somewhere else."

There was no way. There was no way in hell that today was going to be one of the only days in the year when Im Jaebum, notorious class skipper, decided not to keep up with his hooky playing ways. However, looking at his semi pristine school uniform—I wasn’t going to count the buttons that he so cheekily left open on his dress shirt—I groaned. He had gone to class, which I didn’t count on.

Jaebum continued, "How come you haven't cut your hair? I think you'd look good with short hair." Giving unsolicited styling advice was his way of calling me boring.

“You. . .I can’t believe you actually showed up.” Last year, rumours flew around that Jaebum missed almost two weeks worth of classes in a row. In hindsight, saying two weeks doesn’t sound like lot to non Korean students, but there was no such shirking culture in any school in the country and especially not one as competitive as Haerin. Even the lazy students at least showed up and took a nap in the back of the classroom as opposed to outright not attending.

The said male grinned. “New year, new me.” Jaebum glanced at me, probably trying to figure out what exactly it was that I was up to. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Okay, fine. I skipped.” There was no reason for me to not admit it, Jaebum was going to force it out of me either way.

“Why?

“SuperJuniorfanmeeting,” I mumbled, my string of words sounding more like a singular, incoherent mess.

Jaebum just chuckled at me, getting a real kick out of the situation. It wasn’t like I was the goody-two-shoes type, but I’d always used to berate him for shirking his school work. I didn’t actually care, but it was more on the basis that I figured that he and Jinyoung didn’t have to hang out and be so damn loud in the living room if they would just see each other at school.

“Say that one more time, please.”

Setting my jaw, the glare I sent his way could’ve killed. “Super Junior fan meeting.”

At that, he only let out a loud scoff. “You skipped for Super Junior? Are you for real?” His chiding was nothing new to me.

There was one time when Jaebum tried sneaking into our house late at night to hang out with Jinyoung, as if they were a fucking couple. Who the hell does that that? Unfortunately, my brother’s room did not have a window and the two politely asked me if Jaebum could go through my window, then sneak through. I said no. That was supposed to be that, but the twat ended up knocking at my bedroom window at two in the morning anyway.

If it weren’t for the fact that I was up late on Facebook, I would have probably strangled Jaebum. I had no choice but to let him in, though, and the first thing that he did was make fun of the amount of Super Junior merchandise that I had in my room. Posters, stacks of albums, stickers, mugs, you name it. That was how I discovered Jaebum’s hatred for idol groups and how he discovered his favourite thing to use in order to vex.

“I don’t want to hear it, asshat.” Grumbling, I tried to move past him, but he stayed put.

Jaebum said, “Nope. I’m not going anywhere.”

It was almost time for my mother to return home for work and I couldn’t believe that he was choosing to play around now out of all the time he had in the world. He folded his arms across his chest, as if waiting for me to do something. The light shone on his medium brown hair and illuminated his playful expression.

“I need to get home!”

“And I need to get to the studio, but your dumbass brother decided to take his time flirting with Ms. Jung after school, so now I have to wait for him.”

I rolled my eyes, how very Jinyoung of him to do. Despite being senior class treasurer and all around boy next door, I knew my brother well and he wouldn’t be related to me if he didn’t have his sly side. He used his role on student council and high rank in academics to stay behind to talk with teachers, often to schmooze or just to flirt like he did with Ms. Jung.

“Gross. Just go to the studio by yourself, then,” I replied.

Jaebum chuckled. “No, because I’m a good friend who waits for his friends, especially when the said friend is getting details on beautiful Ahyeon." 

I had to snort at that. "You boys are disgusting. Just get going so I can." Hearing him talk about the Geometry teacher like that made me want to throw up without hesitation. High school boys, especially overly horny ones like Jaebum, always did in the hallways after any one of Ms. Jung's classes. She was young, pretty, and everyone raved about how she looked like some actress from Boys Over Flowers.

He was still in front of me. There seemed to be something we wanted to say, judging by the confusion playing in his eyes, but nothing came out. Tapping my foot, I raised my wrist to my line of sight and saw that I didn't have much time left.

"You should audition for the crew," Jaebum suddenly blurted out, though his tone stayed as nonchalant as ever.

That took me by surprise and for that, I looked at him like he was crazy. "Me? Yeah, right. Now stop wasting my time and—"

"—Jinyoung said you dance, you can't dance for us?" he cut me off. I was sure that he was joking, but judging by the sternness and what seemed like shame for asking me, I realized that Jaebum was indeed serious about his suggestion.

Obviously somebody had brought myself up as a suggestion for the crew member replacement. I wouldn’t know why Jinyoung would even do that, he was fully aware that I would repudiate such an idea. I couldn’t even imagine myself having to hang out with the boys or stand on a stage.

"Yeah, in middle school. Not anymore, I don't like dancing."  

If there was one thing that could wound Jaebum, it was speaking ill of dance. He cringed at my words, face scrunching up. I didn't have any passions in the way that he and my brother had dance, so I couldn't understand. The sentence allowed made him want to get out of my way, side stepping.

He said, "Well, if you change your mind, we're in the studio on Friday. Jinyoung and Mark have said good things about you, so I thought that it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I guess I was wrong."

I shrugged and was on my way, thankful that he managed to give up on me. Picking up a speed walk, I dashed towards the back door of my house and made sure that the interiors were empty before doing so. As I closed the door, I couldn't help but look over at Jaebum and I saw that he was still in that spot. It was embarrassing that not only Jinyoung told the crew about me, but Mark as well. Thinking about it made my face go hot and with that, I shut it and hurried to change before after school tutoring. 

[cheswirls]

a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess? 

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field. 

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that’d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots. 

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12. 

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving. 

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving. 

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with. 

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!

[gearsforyears]

Prompt Request: Danny and friends discovering an in-universe phansite dedicated to speculating about the local ghost boy and his shenanigans.

This??? Was so??? Much fun??? To write?????? Thank you so much for the prompt!!! ;w;

“Danny! You have to see this!”

Said halfa in question groaned; he, Sam, and Tucker were busy trying to get homework done before patrol that night. And with the way his grades are currently? Yeah, getting distracted was something he didn’t need at the moment. But Tucker stretched his arms way above his head, letting loose a groan as Danny heard his bones pop, “Hey, you guys up for a five minute break?”

Sam curled her toes to get some feeling back into them before standing up, “Yep. How about you, Danny?”

Despite the urge to do his homework like he was determined to do, Danny had to admit that a break sounded amazing. They had been doing Precalculus for a good hour, and his brain needed rest, “Sure. But we should get this finished before patrol…” He warned.

“Oh, c’mon Danny; we’ll get it all done before tonight,” Tucker rolled his eyes. Sam was walking out the door already with her arms above her head, fitted comfortably in Danny’s sweatshirt and a pair of Tucker’s cargo pants. The technofreak still had no clue how she got a hold of their clothes when they weren’t looking, but he dismissed the suspicions to keep talking, “Besides, Jazz sounded excited about something.”

Sam looked over her shoulder, “Let’s just hope it’s not a new psychology therapy session theory she wants to try out on us.” She shivered before continuing, “I still remember the last time she tried something in those college books of hers on us.”

It was Danny’s turn to roll his eyes at his friends before ushering them out into the hallway and hurriedly making their way into Jazz’s overly pink room. Said sister was curled up in her chair in front of her computer screen, her face red and a smile plastered on her face. Danny wasn’t sure what was making her convulse in the manner she was, but after a moment realized that his sister was laughing.

She pulled her orange hair up into a tight bun and wiped any stray tears from her eyes before leaning out of the chair to stand up, “Y-You guys have at it. I need to get something to calm me down…” She let out a laugh behind a hand, “By the Ancients, the comments are hilarious.”

Danny raised an eyebrow at the curse, recognizing as something that he says too often for his own good. But the surprise quickly went away as he saw the black, white, and green background of Jazz’s computer screen. He sat down in the chair and read the blog title, ‘The Phantom Conspiracy!’

Tucker let out a small breath he wasn’t sure he was holding before jumping into Danny’s lap to see the computer better, to which Danny groaned at the unexpected weight, “You’re too heavy, get off.”

“Stop whining!” Tucker cheekily smiled, “Besides, I’m not that heavy, and you have super strength.”

“Get used to it, Danny,” Sam smirked before collapsing on top of both of them, making the two of them groan beneath her, “Either you make room, or you deal with the two of us.” She popped her gum loudly to make her point, earning her a glare from the two boys below her.

They settled into the chair quickly, Danny supporting both friends’ weight on his legs. As they all found a comfortable position, the three juniors read a few of the articles to themselves.

“Danny, Danny, click on that one! It’s all fanfiction about you!” Tucker pointed and practically yelled. A click later, and the techie was guffawing, getting himself drunk on the giggles that the new page produced, “People ship you with other ghosts! Look, even with our infamous Red Huntress! And Box Ghost!”

Danny rolled his eyes and clicked away from the page, not wanting to have Tucker beg him to read some of the more smutty stories on the site. How was that even allowed on a public internet server? He wasn’t even human! Sam leaned over the two of them and pointed to a tab that Danny clicked, “The Phantom Experience? Why does this sound like a spa treatment?”

He gave out a sigh as he clicked on the page, already feeling slightly uncomfortable with the entire website. Danny vaguely wondered who would even start a blog like this, and how the hell was it so popular?! “Is this… An origin story?”

“WHAT?!” Danny and Tucker leaned in closer, and Tuck read the article out loud for everyone to listen to, “‘Danny Phantom, the mysterious ghost boy, had appeared almost two years ago to save the residents of Amity Park. But where did this ghost come from? There aren’t any reported deaths of people who look exactly like the ghost-’ Dude! This is totally an origin story!”

“Well? What does it say?” Danny asked, with a newfound fervor. With all the other supers in the world, he didn’t want people to think he had a lame origin. What if the freaking Batman found out if he had a horrible backstory? (Although, Danny still wasn’t too impressed that he him having half-died is his origin, seeing as Superman came from an entirely different planet, but he could deal with it).

Sam scanned the page quickly, and pointed near the end, drawing their attention to a hand drawn picture of the halfa with a section under it, “It says here that you died thousands of years ago!”“That doesn’t make any sense!” Danny exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. A groan escaped his lips as he covered his face with a hand, feeling his cheeks and ears flame up a bit at the inaccuracies, “What feasible proof is there?”

“Remember ol’ Vladdie man taking the Infimap from the Far Frozen clan?” Danny looked up, slightly horrified that someone traced him back that far, “Looks like someone in Rome wrote about you, and same in ancient China, and again in Salem. People seem to think you liked to lay low then, but now feel a duty to protect this place in particular because of all the ghost attacks.”

“Why would anyone want to know my history that badly?” He murmured. Danny had to admit that he felt almost violated at the blogger’s want to find out more about him. He looked at the author and saw a familiar name, “Paulina?!”

Sam nodded, taking the mouse and clicking on a few other articles, “Seems like she’s written a majority of these, actually.” The goth leaned in closer to the screen, “She’s not that bad a a writer. Huh.”

“Can we get back on topic here?” Danny practically groaned, rubbing his temples. He was going to need so much aspirin to get rid of the headaches this was giving him, “I thought this was supposed to be funny, not mortifying.”

A few clicks, and Tucker got them to the comment section of the origin story that Paulina had written out. Said technofreak slipped off of the armrest and landed directly in the center of Danny’s lap, making him cringe while Tucker stared at the screen in awe, “Oh. My. God. Wes posted about you being Phantom online!”

Sam leaned closer as well, deciding to ruin Danny’s night more by falling into Tucker’s lap so the both of them were once again crushing Danny beneath them. A majority of the messages were from Wes Weston, the brat that was constantly trying to get Danny in trouble and casually spread his secret around like the common cold. But she had to admit, the conversations in the comments were hilarious.

WWeston: Phantom isn’t that old! He’s fucking 16! It’s Danny Fenton, you guys are all idiots!

Beauty Queen: Wes can i post one thing on this blog without you claiming this every time?

StarQuarterback: theres??? proof??? in the article??? about phantom being in rome? wes can you stfu

WWeston: I have literally seEN FENTON TURN INTO PHANTOM HES NOT THAT SECRETIVE ABOUT IT HE DOESNT CARE IF YOU SEE HIM

Beauty Queen: Are you just jealous because Phantom was crowned honorary homecoming King and you werent?

WWeston: 1, YOU GAVE THE CROWN TO PHANTOM and 2, I WOULDNT BE JEALOUS OF A FENTON

KwanL: God, wes, just let it go.

Beauty Queen: He’s totally jealous of Phantom, someone make some fanfiction of these two omfg

WWeston: HES FENTON AND IM NOT FUCKIN GAY

StarQuarterback: It’s not gay if he’s dead, bro. We got you a tshirt about it man

WWeston: I burned it. I’m not wearing anything involving that half-ghost freak! And it’s stILL GAY

KwanL: What the hell are you talking about???? Phantom is a ghost, it’s impossible for a half-ghost to exist. Get your ass out of fairytale land mr.basketball

Now was when Danny had finally found the entire endeavor of reading these worth his time away from homework. Wes had an account on a Danny Phantom blog to rant to others about how he was half-ghost, and the best part was no one believed him. How stupid could people get?

And Mr. Basketball? Danny had to remember to use that line next time he saw the redhead approach him with his newest conspiracy about him. He looked over to see Sam on the floor, clutching her stomach, and Tucker, who was still seated in Danny’s lap, was halfway out of the chair, tears streaming down his face. A knock resounded in the room, and Jazz came back in with cups of tea for everyone, “T-To soothe your throats from… pffft… the laughing.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Basketball,” Tuck’s statement sent everyone into another round of laughter, and Danny had to admit. Sometimes, it was good to take a break.

[this-blog-should-not-exist]

How does one even date?

(its a long one oh boy) 

Dating has always been hard for me, growing up I never really had an interest with girls because I mean, Im gay. But I didn't know that growing up so I never really thought twice about it. I had so many friends that were girls and what in my mind were crushes on them but nothing ever happened, it was elementary school. 

The only real crush I can said I confidently had on a girl is my best friend i’ll call SH. I met SH when I was in middle school, I’ll never forget the day she sat with me on the bus ride home. The first sort of interaction I had with her, we just talked and talked and talked the whole ride, before she got off the bus she gave me her cell phone number. Not because she was hitting on me but because we were becoming friends. She and Jo actually dated for the longest time, thats more of how I met her, Jo introduced me. But me and her just hit it off. Once we started high school we just never stopped talking, always I was with her and just we were the best of friends. It was also during this time when I started high school that I developed what i now know was depression, I didn't know it at the time but I would just fall into these periods of time that would sometimes last for a few days where I just wouldn't want to do anything. Nothing that usually brought me enjoyment helped. Like I said though it would last a few days then disappear until about a month later. But anyways it was in the end of my sophomore year I actually dated this other girl I’ll call Cry, I had only really known Cry for about a year, I had met her in our freshman year. She was pretty cool, had some similar interests in bands and movies and art, she also ran cross country and track with me. But she had a major crush on me I guess and so Im like sure why not. But by that point I had began to question my sexuality. It was the beginning of that whole thing so I just pushed it to the back of my head like nah Im not gay pshh. But so I agreed to date Cry, but I had no idea what I was doing. Nothing felt any different, I didn't feel like obligated to be with her all the time, to hold her hand or kiss her or anything really. Nothing inside me changed. People had asked me like, why aren’t you with your girlfriend? The don't you wait for her after class or walk with her anywhere. How was I supposed to know? She was the first girlfriend I ever had, I had no idea what I was and waste supposed to do. So after a week I broke up with her, now Im also god awful at confrontation when it comes to important stuff so I wrote her a note and left it with her stuff after school and left. I felt bad but I knew that what I was doing wasn’t right, being in a relationship should feel more than that.

So after Cry I had began to turn my attention to Sh, because by that point I was beginning to understand what being in a relationship was supposed to be like. What it was to like someone and want to be with them. When I try to think about the time frame in which everything happen it all blurs a bit now. Now that I think about it, I think the whole ordeal with Cry happened the end of freshman year. I think it was the beginning of sophomore year Sh and Jo had broken up because surprise surprise Jo was gay. It made me laugh because right after they broke up he said to her Hey you should date him, talking about me. By this time I was like halfway understanding that I was gay. So junior year me and Sh hung out all the time, like I mean all the time, we texted so much, hung out after school when we could, went to each others houses all the time, we told each other everything. She truly is my best friend. But we had decided to try and “date” as we said, most people thought we were dating anyway which made both of us laugh. I remember one night, my mom and brothers were going to see Monsters University and Man of Steel in a drive in theatre and I invited Sh along because me and her are giant fucking nerds and really wanted to see Man of Steel. Mom still laughs this day because the moment we picked Sh up till we got to the movie me and Sh did not stop talking the whole car ride. But on the drive back it was late maybe about midnight or 1 and me and Sh were sharing headphones. I let her pick the songs off my phone but she had placed my phone on my thigh but left her hand on it. In my mind I was thinking “do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Lay your hand on hers, do it. Its what she wants you to do and you know it.” I never did. Me and her had talked about it later, like yeah I was entirely aware of it but I was still unsure. She confirmed my thoughts.

 It was that summer between sophomore and junior year that I told her I was gay. I told her on my 15th birthday actually. We were texting and having a serious conversation about our relationship, I had texted her Im gay then I immediately dropped my phone and took a half hour shower and didn't respond. I was terrified of her response. Of course she was mad at me. Now in my mind my thought process from the beginning was, alright, I’ll see where it’l go with Sh. If it doesn't work out and I don't feel anything for her then I must be gay because if I was straight me and her would be living together at this moment and would have been dating for over 3 years now. She was my fail safe, if I wasn’t attracted to her then it was a surefire sign I was gay. And she called me out on it, she said I had used her. And she was right, I felt awful I cried so much that night. I may not be sexually attracted to her but god damn it I do love her like family. She is my absolute best friend and I would do anything for her, me may have butted heads and not agreed on everything but we still are best friends to this day. I really hope she feels the same way. 

My nest summer between my junior and senior year I had my first boyfriend. I’ll call him Z. Now Im not sure if it was just because he was my first chance at a boyfriend or what but I'm not sure why I dated him to begin with. He was a year older than me, a giant theater kid, had to be the center of attention for every conversation, will talk over you in conversations, just very loud in general and energetic. But he was so sweet, he really cared about how I felt and respected my boundaries. He truly cared about my well being, but he was also a little controlling with who I talked to and hung out with. To this day he has been my longest relationship at 4 months. Towards the end of the relationship I had began to just lose this spark I had, he began to feel overbearing and too much for me. I had just wanted to calm down and relax, he was also much more sexual than me. I have still to this day never had sex or anything. He had done so much more than me but respected my boundaries and moved at my pace which I respect him for so much. But I had broken up with him just after 4 months because I had lost the spark. I broke up with him through text because as I said I am horrible at confrontation, I knew he would cry and that would make me feel terrible and probably cry and just I knew it would not end well if I did it in person. I said though I would still like to be friends and he agreed. I still talk to him every now and again. He's a good person still

A few months after me and Z he had got another boyfriend ill call H. A few weeks after that I had began talking to another guy I’ll call T. T had actually messaged me first through instagram. I had never seen or talked to him before. He had gone to one of Z’s performances and that was the one time I had ever seen him. Turns out he began talking to C just to talk to me, so he used C to get closer to me which I felt bad for. But T and I had dated for about a month? Im not sure really it wasnt a long time. He was kind of rude really, constantly insulting me in someway or teasing me but not in a playful way. I had called him out on it and he had gotten better at least. In my opinion he was much more attractive than Z, at least in the face. T was really sweet as well, so calm and kind, smart, thoughtful, but still kind of a dick somehow. He had began to get pretty clingy asking for me to hangout every weekend. During that time I was in swim season so literally every weekend I had a meet all day and Sundays I worked and I had just gotten my license so I couldn't be out late plus my curfew. It was just a hard time, plus I had also lost the spark pretty fast as well. Eventually he called me at a swim meet and we had broke up. Said we should take a break and see other people. We didn't talk for a few weeks but then he texted me a few times but I still wasn't feeling anything for him and that was that really. I do miss him at least, he was a cool person but dating just didn't work out for us. That doesn't mean I never wanted to see him again. He never talks to me anymore, I hope he’s doing well. He’s got a new boyfriend now, he didn't date or talk to anyone since me I don't think but at least he seems happy now. That Im glad for at least. 

After T I didn't talk to anyone for almost over 2 years. Going into dating T, I was aware that it probably wouldn't last long because I was going to college in Portland, OR and long distance would be impossible. So I started something I knew that had an expiration date on which I felt bad about but part of me was like no you never know it may work out! But of course it didn't. That summer between Junior and Senior year was a very lonely one, my depression hit me pretty hard. At the time I still wasn’t really aware of what it was but part of me was like nah you can't be depressed. You’re such a happy person thats stupid. It was a hard time. Once I got out to Portland, that winter I had met and talked to a new guy, my most recent boyfriend i’ll call A. At first I wasn’t sure how to take A, he was very straightforward which was nice. I think the first interaction I had with him was at an art museum and he just turns to me and says “has anyone told you how attractive you are?” and just I'm an awkward person in general, I have no idea how to react to compliments I am still terrible with them. Idk what to say because I don't want to sound conceited and full of myself but what do you say just thank you? Idk but after that he had my attention and we slowly began to start talking. That winter before Christmas break we had made it official and started dating. He honestly is the sweetest person i’ve dating so far, he was so incredibly caring, he helped me through so much, so many panic attacks and random things of anxiety. I stayed at his dorm so many nights in a row, I saw him just about every day for about a month I think. He respected my boundaries but also challenged me and what I was into. Now I myself have and will never give a blowjob, I just don't understand them, why would I want to put my mouth down there I already don't like my own body hair I'm not gonna stick my mouth in all that. Dicks are weird, but he has given me a few blowjobs. Im indifferent with them, they just feel weird. Not bad but not like pleasurable either really. He was the first boyfriend, or other person in general for that matter that I have let seen me naked. He had also brought up the idea to take a bath or shower together as well but I never did. Every night I saw him he wanted to do something though and just after a while I wanted to do something else. I felt like he was only with me for my dick. I hate talking about myself but I guess I am well endowed down there. But it means nothing to me, like whoopdeedoo. I don't understand why so many guys are just so invested in dick, like it seems like thats all they want I don't understand. But A was always groping me when he got a chance or playing with it. He would always make a note about when I was aroused whether just laying with him chilling in bed or before he would leave or I would leave. It was always about my dick it seemed, and I brought this up to him and he told me that my dick was the last thing he cared about and that it was me as a person that he was attracted to. My looks were just an added bonus. We almost broke up a few weeks before school had let out but I wasn't ready to let the relationship die. He felt like I wasn’t interested anymore. I liked him but wasnt attracted to him and thats where I think we differed. Im just not a sexual person, I started to think around that time that I was asexual because just none of that stuff is even remotely interesting to me, Id just rather not. But A had began to feel like I wasn't interested anymore, that I wasnt as invested in him as I was at the start. Part of me was, the other half of me wasnt. He was right, but I wasnt ready for that yet. I needed his support, I was so alone and scared at the time. The first time we almost broke up I was on the verge of tears which I had never done with someone before. It was also the first time that I was being broken up with plus it was in person. But in the moment I wasnt going to let it happen. We turned the situation around and I did try, I tried to be more interested in him, I tried to pleasure him in the only way I was comfortable with i.e. a hand job. I had gotten him off quite a few times but he had never gotten me off. Not once, and he was so hung up about it. He was bound and determined to get me off, but it never happened. Idk why really, I can get myself off but its just different when someone else does it. Im very sensitive to touch, especially down there, around my stomach and inner thighs when other people touch me so Idk whats going on there. But we had made it through the end of the school year and tried to do long distance. It only lasted a few weeks. I had gotten busy seeing my friends, family, getting work set up I was really busy. Me and A didn't text a whole lot or FaceTime. So after a few weeks I was actually hanging out with Sh, Jo and C at Sh’s apartment when A called me. I knew what it was from the text he had sent me an hour earlier. It was calm and we both agreed that we should see other people. We’re still friends though and I text him every now and again. Its been these late cold nights though that I do miss him. Im going back out to Portland this December to see all my friends I made out there. I hope I get to see him again. I do miss him now. I miss his company and him as a person. But there were reasons we broke up and whats done is done now. 

[flickerbit]

What anime? I'm trying to get back into it and I need suggestions

(This got really long oops)Well right now I’m invested in two - one is anohana, which is about six childhood friends who drift apart after a tragedy happens within their group but are reconnected ten years later and are forced to confront the tragedy/deal with the emotions associated with it. I was surprised at how hooked i got immediately bc right off the bat you see how unique it is and how diverse the characters are, like it’s so fun to watch their personalities either clash or intermingle. And the characters are realistic too, like you’re not going to love each one right off the bat and there are going to be times where you’re like “whY DID YOU SAY/DO THAT” but that just adds to the realism and makes it easier to both relate to and love the characters. But really the whole thing is just beautifully made like im not even done yet but I’m tearing up every episode (which is why I’m not watching it at this moment lmfao). But yeah my description really doesn’t do it justice, I’m still in awe at how unique and wonderful and well thought out the story is. If you like animes that make you cry then 👌👌👌 it's so goodThe other anime is called assassination classroom, it's about this (lovable) octopus monster thing who destroys 70% of the moon to make it a permanent crescent, and vows to destroy the earth one year after. Now uh i have a terrible memory so I forget the *exact* circumstances but basically the government can't kill him right away so he makes a deal or smth to teach a class of junior high kids who are discriminated against for their low grades (this class is like. On a separate campus from the original super prestigious school that has a really fucked up system to keep the kids' grades high). So this class of fukin junior high students is in charge of killing him somehow before the year ends. Yes the plot sounds insane and ridiculous but it's crazy how easy it is to get sucked in, the characters are really fun and I find myself laughing out loud a lot because the humor is actually really well written. It also has a good mix of story development as the series goes on and there's a lot of heartwarming scenes too, it's really just a great anime that you need to give a chance because once you get past how weird the premise is it's super easy to fall in love with (like no spoilers but i really don't want korosensei, the name the students gave the octopus guy, to be killed because his character is just too great). But yeah I love the characters so much so if you want to watch a more lighthearted anime then this one is really good. Also I haven't finished it yet, I'm about halfway through, but you start to really want answers to questions as the story builds up so it really keeps you hooked *_*