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redgillan · 4 years ago

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Under Pastel Skies - 9

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,257

Warnings: mention of accident, mention of blood

A/N: I’m sorry this took longer than usual but it’s pretty long so yay! I hope you’ll like this chapter. We’re slowly getting there :’) Thank you for the feedback, I truly appreciate all of you! Also 1 marvel quote and several Bob Ross quotes that I obv don’t own.

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

Good luck on your interview xx

Bucky had just hit ‘send’ when Sam cleared his throat noisily, drawing Bucky’s attention away from his phone. His friends were frowning crossly at him, their glasses raised in a silent toast. He set his phone face-down on the table and picked up his glass.

“Sorry, you were saying?”

Sam shot Steve a ‘see?’ look and Steve replied with a shrug and a little smile. They looked like two sassy grandmothers judging their only grandson. Bucky checked his phone again, and out of his peripheral vision, he could see his grandmothers share another look.

“What?” he barked, annoyed.

“Nothin,” they both answered at the same time before they took a synchronized sip of orange juice.

Smacking his lips together, Sam opened the menu and began to skim through the choices. A waiter suddenly came out of nowhere to take their order. Bucky ordered a cranberry rosemary scone, smoked bacon, an eggplant sandwich, and a plate of lemon-ricotta pancakes.

“Excuse-me,” Sam called out to the waiter. “Could you make his pancakes in the shape of an angel?” he asked, ignoring Bucky who was openly glaring at him.

The waiter, albeit a little surprised, kept a smile on his face. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Bucky told him, handing him the menu. “Thank you.”

Without another look to his friends, he grabbed his phone and checked his messages for the third time in less than two minutes. Steve snatched his phone up and sat back in his seat, waving the phone at Bucky.

“Enough! Live in the moment.” He pocketed the phone and gave Bucky a pointed stare. “You’ll get it back later.”

“What the hell? You’re not my father, give it back!” Bucky snapped, extending his hand, the palm facing up. Steve shook his head. “Give it back, you fucking meatball.”

He got up and tried to reach inside Steve’s pocket for his phone but Steve kept shifting in his seat. They wrestled like that for a minute while Sam watched them, eating a breadstick and looking mildly entertained.

“Okay, fine,” Bucky panted, pushing himself away from Steve. “You leave me no choice, Rogers.” He cleared his throat like an actor about to jump on stage. “Give me back my phone, Steve!” he said, raising his voice. “Do you enjoy stealing from disabled people?”

He nearly shouted the last two words, and to Steve’s horror, the buzz of conversation around them had died. He could feel people staring at him. Cursing softly under his breath, he reached into his pocket and dropped the phone into Bucky’s awaiting hand.

“It’s okay, we’re friends,” Steve said to the people sitting behind him. They looked at him with a disapproving glare. “Jesus, Bucky, you’re making me look like an asshole.”

An amused expression crossed Bucky’s face as he sat back in his seat. “Don’t touch my stuff.”

It was quiet while he checked his messages. Slowly, those around them returned to their own conversations. Sam pointed his half-eaten breadstick at Steve.

“Do you think the waiter will spit in your omelette?” he said the last word with an exaggerated French accent. Steve glared at him.

Their waiter arrived a moment later carrying a large tray with their brunch. Steve poked at his omelet with a suspicious frown, then looked over at Bucky who was still on his phone. Sam stole a slice of bacon from Bucky’s plate and gave it to Steve.

“I hear you’ve got a date tonight,” Sam said, making conversation.

“Yeah,” Steve chuckled, embarrassed. “It’s not a big deal. I’m just looking for something casual. I’m leaving in two days.”

“Where’re you going this time?”

“South Africa,” Steve replied, stealing another slice of bacon. “What about you? What’s that big emergency?”

Sam glanced at Bucky who was grinning like an idiot at his phone. “Not now. Let’s eat first.” He took the plate of bacon, took what he wanted then handed it to Steve. “Want another?”

Steve kept looking over at Bucky while they finished his bacon but Bucky didn’t seem to acknowledge their presence. He was in his own little bubble.

“It’s like we don’t even exist,” Steve remarked out loud.

“I know, it’s amazing. Look!” Sam straightened up in his seat and cleared his throat. “Bucky Barnes is the biggest idiot on the planet, and he can eat my farts.” Bucky was hunched over his phone, his thumb typing away. “See?”

“Impressive.”

“That’s the angel effect,” Sam said.

With a happy little sigh, Bucky pocketed his phone and turned his attention to his friends. He frowned at the amused look they shared.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Steve’s first date in two years.” Sam turned to Steve. “You must be nervous.”

“Strangely, no.” Steve broke off a small piece of omelet with his fork. “I actually know him. He’s an old friend from college.”

“Nice,” Sam said.

“He’s a fashion photographer now.”

“Wait, what?” Bucky’s brows pinched in confusion as he stared at Steve.

Undeterred, Steve continued. “We’ve been facetiming a lot lately.” He shot Bucky a glance. “Why do you think I go to bed at 8?”

“But I thought-”

“You thought I had a date with your girl,” Steve said with a warm smile. “Listen, man, I like her. She’s cute, funny, talented. She’s a real sweetheart. But I like her because she brought back that light in your eyes. You look happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you. You had to go through so much crap, Buck. You deserve this.”

Bucky looked down at his pancakes, feeling tears pool in his eyes. He blinked them back and sniffed quietly. “So you were never going to ask her out.”

“I was until you called her ‘angel’,” Steve replied with a shrug. “You kept saying you were okay with this but, I mean, I’m not that dense.”

“Why do you keep going out with her then?” Bucky grumbled.

“Jeez, Mother Gothel, I didn’t know Rapunzel wasn’t allowed to leave the tower,” Steve exclaimed. “We were bored. You’re in your office all day. It was fun to mess with you though. You’re a grumpy Gus when you’re jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous, okay. I was annoyed. There’s a difference.”

“Uh-huh.”

Bucky looked over at Sam who had been strangely quiet throughout this whole exchange. He loved teasing Bucky, and he always had something to say about Bucky’s love life. Sam wasn’t looking at Bucky, he just pushed his food around with his fork, his lips pinched shut. He met Bucky’s eyes, then lowered his head again.

Bucky had a feeling something bad was about to happen.

“What’s the big emergency?” he asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

Sam set his fork down beside his plate and leaned back against his chair with a sigh. He trained his gaze on the front door, seemingly deep in thought.

“I’m moving to D.C.” He paused to let the information sink in. “They’re transferring me to the D.C. office. I’m their new chief financial officer.”

“Congrats, man!” Steve exclaimed. “You deserve it.”

“Yeah,” Sam replied with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “That’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“So why the long face?”

“I’m a little anxious to leave New York. What will Barnes do without me? Without his mentor? Without someone to look up to?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I think I’ll be all right.” He hesitated before he asked, “Did you tell her?”

“Tell who?” Steve inquired, polishing off the last of his omelet.

Bucky felt the wave of long-held sadness his Sam’s eyes. “I’ll tell her tonight.”

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?”

Sam and Bucky shared a look. They weren’t sure how Steve would react.

The word sugar daddy held a pejorative connotation. Every single one of those relationships featured a powerful, rich man and a poor, vulnerable man or woman. There was a clear power imbalance here that never appealed to Bucky, and he was pretty sure it never appealed to Sam either.

Whether it was a no-strings-attached service or an emotional service, it was still a hole in your resume. One that would be hard to explain to your future employers. He was afraid people would call you names, treat you differently or harass you if they knew.

He often wondered if he had unintentionally ruined your life.

Deep down he knew Steve would never call you a whore or treat you differently but he was still trying to protect your reputation. He believed that Sam had Natasha’s best interest at heart too.

Sam told Steve everything. He remembered the day he had met Natasha, their instant chemistry, the subtle flirting, the arrangement, their first night out, their first kiss, their first time together, their new arrangement. Steve listened attentively. When Sam told him that you were Natasha’s best friend, Bucky interrupted him and told his own story.

“Wow,” Steve deadpanned, leaning forward to take one of Sam’s poached egg and avocado toast. Sam slapped his hand away. “Is that a thing now? Sugar daddies, I mean?”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“Yeah.” Steve sipped his mimosa with a bored look on his face. “You’re both not ready for the real conversation, so I’m just making small talk.”

Sam and Bucky exchanged confused looks. “What real conversation?”

“Sam, you just got an amazing promotion, you’re going to be the Prince of D.C. and you’re sitting here like someone kicked your puppy,” Steve replied, then turned to Bucky. “And you, well... I’ve been living with you for the past two weeks and you’ve gone all Alpha male on me, Buck. Cut the shit. You’re both in love with your sugar babies. Companions, or whatever the fuck you want to call them.”

Sam and Bucky sat in silence with their heads hung low. Steve opened his arms wide like a lawyer in a bad TV show saying ‘I rest my case’. When he spoke again, his voice was soft.

“Look, as maybe the world's leading authority on waiting too long, don't,” he said. “What’s the worst that could happen, um?”

It made Bucky think. Best-case scenario, you loved him too and life was a breeze for the next fifty years. Bad-case scenario, you didn’t share his feelings. Worst-case scenario, you shared his feelings but couldn’t make the transition from sugar baby to girlfriend.

Yeah, worst-case scenario sucked...

He came home around three in the afternoon, and smiled when he saw your shoes and coat. Knowing you were home always put him in a good mood, but his heart was heavy. He felt conflicted. He didn’t know if it was better to tell you how he felt now or to just keep living in this little bubble with you until it’d inevitably burst.

And to make things worse, Sam was going to end his contract with Natasha tonight. He made Bucky promise not to tell you about it. Bucky felt sorry for Natasha, he wondered if she had feelings for Sam. He wondered if she had a backup plan.

He found you in your studio, sitting on the floor, huddled against the wall, with one knee drawn up to your chest and your arms loosely wrapped around your leg. You were staring at the painting you’d just made, the still wet paint glistened under the artificial lights.

This painting was different from your usual landscapes and occasional portraits. There were various shades of blue and grey intertwined, and five big splotches of dark red paint layered on top of the canvas.

Bucky knew just by looking at you that something was wrong. You looked defeated, sad, upset. He reasoned that your interview didn’t go as planned. Quietly, he stepped into the room and sat down on the floor next to you, his left shoulder brushing your own.

“I just got home,” he said.

“Where’s Steve?”

“He said he had some errands to run. He’ll be back later.”

You nodded, still staring straight ahead. “Okay. I bet you can’t wait to have some time to yourself. I asked Natasha if I could stay with her, but she’s going out with Sam tonight. I’ll stay in my room, I won’t bother you.”

Bucky felt his heart drop, his breath caught in his throat. He had made the woman he loved feel unwelcome. God, he wanted to kick his own ass.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, tilting his head to look at you but you were stubborn and refused to meet his eye. “I thought you were going out with Steve and I- I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay with me.”

“I’m not interested in Steve. I told you that.”

“I know.” He moved so that he could see your face. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you, and for the way I treated Steve. It won’t happen again. I promise. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course, Bucky,” you huffed.

He saw your chin quiver slightly and your eyes glaze over with unshed tears. You looked utterly broken. He reached up and wiped a stray tear from your cheek.

“Sorry, I had a difficult day,” you said.

His palm cupped the side of your face, his thumb stroking a caress across your cheek. You met his eyes for the first time and he smiled softly at you.

“My angel.”

His words made you cry even harder, silent tears streaming down your cheeks. With his hand still cupping the side of your face, he leaned closer and pressed his lips against your other cheek. You closed your eyes and basked in his affection.

He could feel the warmth of your tears, could taste the salt on his lips as they streamed down your cheek to his mouth. Slowly, he pulled back and looked at you, a smile forming on his lips when he saw a fleck of dried blue paint above your eyebrows.

“Painter Smurf,” he teased, wiping it off. You let out a huff of air that sounded like a laugh. “I’m here for you, angel, whatever you need.” He pulled you against his side and you rested your head on his chest.

“My interview didn’t go very well,” you said after a long moment of silence. “She said that I’m really talented, that my technique is perfect. But my work is too figurative. It’s not what she’s looking for.” You paused to wipe your nose on your sleeve. “It’s just- It wasn’t my first meeting. They all tell me the same thing: I’m not good enough.”

“That’s not true,” Bucky said, kissing your hair. “Your work is unique. It’s raw and beautiful. If they can’t see that then they’re morons.”

“She told me that if I had been a white man in the nineteenth century, people would still talk about me today.” You sighed. “I don’t know, Bucky. Maybe I should work on something more abstract.”

Bucky tilted his head to one side as he looked at your painting. “Is that why you painted this?”

“Mhhh,” you hummed. “She told me to play with the textures, the forms, the lines, the colours. Suggest rather than show. Let the painting tell its own story.”

“Yeah, I think you did it.”

“You think it’s good?”

“I don’t think those adjectives apply here. Not with modern art. It’s in the eye of the beholder,” he said, running his fingers along your shoulder. “Abstract art isn’t supposed to be beautiful, it’s supposed to make you feel something, right?”

“How does it make you feel?”

“Unsettled, sad.”

You straightened up and sat shoulder to shoulder. “My brother died in a hit-and-run.” You let the information sink in for a minute. “I was with Okoye, we got a call from our mom but by the time we got to the hospital, he was already dead.”

Your voice was surprisingly calm and controlled. Bucky wanted to reach out to you but he was unable to move. He listened attentively, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest.

“He was wearing some kind of compression shirt, grey-blue with two white stripes, and it was covered in blood. When I close my eyes and think of that day, all I remember is that shirt and the blood.” You tilted your head and gave him a little smile. “That’s what I painted.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. He just sat there, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. He couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Sorry,” you let out a small laugh. “I had a shitty meeting and then I came home and basically relived one of the worst days of my life to put it on a canvas. Now it’s staring at me and all I want is to shred it to pieces.”

Bucky noticed that your hand was close to one of your palette knives. Your fingers brushed against the handle, debating whether you should pick it up and slash the canvas. He laid his hand on top of yours.

“It won’t help,” he said. “Trust me. I can put the painting somewhere else if you want. You won’t have to look at it again. I promise.”

“Yes, please.”

“C’mon, beautiful, let’s go downstairs. I know someone who can help you.” He got to his feet and extended his hand to you. You frowned up at him, a silent question in your eyes. “His name is Bob and he paints happy little trees.”

A bright, wide smile spread until it lit up your whole face, and Bucky’s heart melted at the sight. He grinned at you and pulled you to your feet.

“I love Bob Ross,” you said, and Bucky gave your hand a little squeeze.

In the living room, you sat down on the sofa, crossing your legs under you and grabbed a blanket while Bucky connected his YouTube account to the TV. He sat down beside you, propping his feet up on the coffee table and adjusting the blanket in his lap.

“Hi, welcome back. Certainly glad you could join me today.” The show started and you melted against Bucky’s chest, pulling the blanket up to your neck. “Thought today we could do a fantastic little painting-”

You were pressed against his bad side, but Bucky didn’t mind. As the show progressed, you slid further into his lap until your head rested on the armrest of the sofa, close to Bucky’s right hand.

“People know when you’re happy. They can look at your paintings and tell how you were happy. They reflect your moods. Paintings are a reflection of your innermost feelings.”

He gave your head a little massage while you both watched Bob Ross create a stunning lake view painting.

“Cuz in your world, you can create any kind of illusion that you want. I spent half my life in the military, and I had to live in somebody else’s world all the time. Painting offered me freedom, I’d come home after all day of playing soldier and I could paint the kind of world that I wanted. It was clean, it was sparkling, shiny, beautiful-”

You shifted a little, and Bucky wondered if those words resonated with what you had been through. Being adopted, losing a brother, taking care of your sick mother when your siblings left, graduating, making ends meet... Those experiences had shaped you into the woman you would be for the rest of your life. A kind and strong woman who never really got to live or enjoy life.

He understood how important painting was to you. He was an artist too. He wasn’t a painter, but writing offered him a kind of freedom he had lost a long time ago.

“We should paint along,” you said, tilting your head up to look at him. “Then I’ll sell yours. I bet people would pay a lot of money to own an original Grant Thomas painting.”

Bucky chuckled. He knew you were teasing him, the slight curl of your lips said as much. “I’ll sign it James Barnes. It’ll be worthless.”

“It’s not worthless to me,” you said.

“Would you hang it in your room?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then, okay, I’ll paint along with you.”

When the episode ended, you decided to eat dinner first and paint later. You were sitting at the kitchen island, eating a bowl of leftover pasta from the night before, when Steve came home.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, throwing a plastic bag on the kitchen island before he made his way to his bedroom.

“I’m so fucking late. I still need to take a shower and get dressed.” Steve came out of his room, shirtless, and working his belt buckle open. “Hey, Buck, can I borrow some clothes?”

“I swear to fuckin’ God, Rogers, if you undress in the middle of the kitchen I’ll make you eat your jeans.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

He rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. A minute later, Bucky heard the shower running.

Later, you went upstairs to gather canvases, paint brushes and paint while Bucky helped Steve pick out an outfit.

Steve was too excited about his date to remind Bucky that he was an idiot, and Bucky was happy that for once they didn’t talk about his feelings for you. He teased Steve and watched as Steve squirmed, the tip of his ears bright red. Just like old times.

Then they met you downstairs where you had two easels set up in front of the television. Steve stood in front of you, visibly nervous and agitated, while you looked at him from head to toe.

“How do I look?”

“Like you’re wearing clothes two sizes too small for you, which makes you look even bigger than you normally are so... pretty good.”

“Yeah?”

You chuckled. “You look great, Steve.”

Steve responded with a relieved sigh and a little bashful smile. Bucky liked that look on Steve, it reminded him of their childhood when Steve awkwardly flirted his way through Brooklyn.

Bucky jerked back to the present when Steve turned to him for confirmation. He gave him a firm nod and a thumbs-up, then walked him to the kitchen. They talked about Steve’s plans for the night while Steve gathered up his things.

Bucky was walking back to the living room when Steve called out his name and threw something to him. Bucky caught it in mid-air, then looked down at his hand. A shiny looking condom wrapper was nestled in the palm of his hand. He scowled at Steve.

“Just in case,” Steve said with a shit-eating grin.

“You’re a dead man.”

Steve’s laughter echoed down the corridor as he left the apartment.

Blowing out a breath, Bucky pocketed the foil packet and joined you in the living room. You were sitting at your easel, blobs of paint arranged in a semicircle on a palette. There was another easel next to yours, with a palette resting on a stool to make things easier for him.

You selected the lake view episode you had watched earlier, thinking that it would make things easier. Bucky was in awe of you, you made painting look so effortless and beautiful. You added your own trees and clouds, shifting things around to create your own world.

Bucky followed Bob Ross’ instructions closely but, in his opinion, it looked like someone had made it with their feet. You laughed at his comment and told him that you would still hang it in your room. It boosted his ego a bit.

When you both finished your painting, Bucky looked up at the clock. It was close to midnight which made him do a double take.

“Time for me to hit the hay,” he said, yawning. “This is as good as it’s gonna get.”

“Mhh,” you mused, turning the TV off.

“You okay?”

You shrugged. “Yeah, I- uh, I was kind of hoping we’d do this all night,” you said, playing with a mostly dried paintbrush. You looked at him from under your lashes. “But it’s fine. I understand, you’re tired. I think I’ll wait for Steve.”

Bucky looked at you with a pained expression. He could tell something was bothering you. He placed his index finger under your chin and tilted your head up. “Angel, I don’t think Steve is coming home tonight.” You pinched your lips together and nodded. “Talk to me. I want to help.”

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Your words hit him like a punch in the chest, leaving him momentarily breathless. He pulled you close and pressed a long kiss to your forehead. You clung to him for dear life, your warmth and familiar scent made his heart ache.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled against your skin, then pulled back a little so he could look you in the eye. “Let’s change into something more comfortable, um? Then we’ll catch some shut-eye. I have an idea, the first person to fall asleep has to make breakfast tomorrow.”

“You sure?”

“You’re right. I’m exhausted, I’ll fall asleep first,” he said, shaking his head. “New rule, last person to fall asleep has to make breakfast.”

You snorted. “No, I meant... are we going to sleep in the same bed?”

“I promise I’ll stay on my side. But if it makes you uncomfortable, there’s a bunk bed in Steve’s room.”

“No, it’s fine. I want to wash my face first. I’ll see you in a minute.”

Bucky tried to play it cool but his heart was pounding. He kept seeing flashes of his dreams in his mind: skin against skin, steady puffs of air brushing against his skin, the smell of sweat and something uniquely you surrounding him.

He was absolutely terrified.

He went upstairs, took a quick shower, brushed his teeth and changed into his pyjamas. His night-time regimen took longer than he had anticipated so he wasn’t surprised when he found you sitting cross-legged on his bed, scrolling through your phone, looking so calm and peaceful.

You were wearing your pyjama bottoms and a fluffy sweatshirt stained with blue paint and tomato soup. He felt his stomach flip when you raised your head and smiled at him. A chill ran through his spine, and made the hairs on his arm stand on end. He’d never seen you look more beautiful.

“Hey,” you said, placing your phone on the nightstand. “Which side of the bed do you sleep on?”

“The side you’re sitting on.” You rolled to the other side of the bed and slid under the covers making him laugh. “You didn’t have to move.”

“It’s fine. I prefer this side.” You looked around the room. “I like your room. It’s very you.”

“Ah?”

“Yeah, neat, organized, lots of books, a cosy armchair, stormy blue comforter. It looks intimidating but it’s actually really soft. Like you.”

He suppressed a laugh. “Thanks.”

Bucky climbed into bed beside you, turned off the light and drew the blanket over him trying to get warm. He lay on his back looking up at the ceiling. He was so stiff and nervous, he forced himself to breathe normally. You turned onto your side and slid one of your hands under your pillow.

“Do you usually read before you go to sleep?” you whispered, afraid to disturb the silence.

“Yes,” he whispered back. “Do you?”

“Sometimes.” There was a moment’s silence before you spoke again. “I’ve started reading your book.”

“Oh, Christ,” he let out a small laugh and turned his head to look at you, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. “I hope I didn’t traumatize you.”

“You have a very dark sense of humour,” you said. “But I already knew that.”

“I’ve always had a dark sense of humor, but trust me, when I lost my arm I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Therapy helped a lot. Besides, laughing is good for your health, right? My books are very personal, I don’t censor myself.”

“I know. I wasn’t expecting it to be so honest.” You shifted a little and looked away from him. “I don’t know if I’ll finish it, I feel like I’m intruding.”

“I understand.” He shifted slightly so he was lying on his left side, facing you. “I wrote it like a diary. Talking isn’t my strong suit. I don’t know, I think I’m trying too hard and I just end up being rude or not making sense. When I write, I take my time, I find the right words. It’s easier when I don’t have to look anyone in the eye.”

He knew his book was a little rough. He focused on his depression, his rehabilitation, relearning basically everything. He talked about rediscovering his body, intimately. He talked about his friends, his family, strangers, therapy, dating.

“Can I ask you a very personal question?”

“Of course.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

He swallowed hard, his throat raw and tight. “Yes.” In fact, he was in love right now. “Once. I don’t trust easily.”

“I know I read what happened between you and your girlfriend.”

She had been his first girlfriend since the accident. She was kind, patient, a little over excited but he found it cute. In a way, she reminded him of himself before the accident. She wasn’t afraid to touch him, and God, he needed to be touched.

Sam had witnessed little things that irked him but Bucky had ignored him, refusing to see the warning signs. He wanted to be happy again. But then he couldn’t bury his head in the sand anymore.

She treated him like a child in front of their friends, and her friends praised her for taking such good care of a man like him. A man who, in their mind, was high maintenance. She cut his meat for him even though he was perfectly capable of doing it himself. She helped him dress, tied his shoes, zipped up his coat, etc... He felt infantilized, humiliated.

He didn’t think she was a bad person though. It was just her personality.

“How’s Natasha?” he asked suddenly.

A puff of air caressed his face as you snorted out a laugh. “Why do you ask? You don’t like her.”

“I like her a lot,” he argued. “She seems wary of me, which I understand, but she’s great.”

“Yeah, she is.” You considered his words. “She’s doing well. She went on work date with Sam.”

Despite his promise to Sam, he couldn’t bear the thought of keeping things from you. “I have to tell you something about Sam and Nat.” You waited for him to continue. “Sam got promoted, he’s moving to D.C. He broke things off with Natasha tonight. I mean, their arrangement.”

“I know,” you said. “She texted me while you were in the bathroom. I’m going to spend the night at her place tomorrow. It’s been a while since we had a girls’ night, and we both really need it.”

“Good.” He cupped the side of your face, let his thumb brush your jaw. “I’m going out with the boys tomorrow. Steve’s leaving soon.” He pulled his hand back. “We should try to get some sleep.”

“No, please,” you said, shifting closer to him. “Not yet.”

“Angel, we can’t stay awake all night.”

“I don’t want to be alone in the dark.”

“I’m right here with you,” he spoke gently.

“But once you fall asleep I’ll be alone.”

Bucky raised his head and kissed your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin. When he pulled back, he rested his hand on your forearm and let his warmth seep into your skin. His thumb caressed the inside of your wrist, stroked over your racing pulse point.

“I’ll wait until you fall asleep,” he said.

“Thank you, Bucky.” You smiled and let your index finger run down the length of his nose. “Does it hurt when you sleep on your left side?”

“Not really,” he replied. “Most of the time it’s just weird. It feels like my phantom limb hangs down through the bed. Like my arm is invisible and just goes through the bed.”

“What do you miss the most?”

He let out a long exhale. “Not much. Hugs. Proper hugs... I guess. Holding someone close and wrapping myself around them. Squeezing someone against my chest, making them feel protected. I used to be a great hugger. Now I give bro hugs.”

“I love bro hugs.”

His chuckled dissolved into a grin, and you both stayed quiet for a moment. He knew you weren’t asleep, he could hear you thinking. “What’s on your mind, beautiful?”

“I was wondering,” you started, then trailed off. “One day we’ll have to end this arrangement. Do you think it’ll end well, or is it going to be messy?”

It took him a minute to respond.

“Y’know, one of the things I learned in therapy was to stop worrying about things I can’t control,” he said. “That’s in the future, for future-you and future-me. I don’t know how it’ll end but I can promise you one thing: I’ll always be there for you. Arrangement or not.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you breathed out. “Right-now-me is a lucky bitch.”

You both laughed softly, then fell into a contemplative silence. There was something so peaceful about lying in bed with you, his hand loosely wrapped around your wrist, sharing warmth. He didn’t want to fall asleep.

For the next hour you talked about your families, your childhood, your friends, your likes and your dislikes. You told him about being an adopted child and living with other adopted kids. He could tell you were holding back when you talked about your siblings.

The only one you gushed about was Okoye. You were evasive when you talked about Scott and Wanda, though you did tell him that you had agreed to meet Wanda.

“What’s your favorite comfort food?”

“Breakfast for dinner.” Your voice was soft and small, he knew you were falling asleep. “When I was a kid, we had breakfast for dinner every Sunday night. We’d grab a bowl of our favourite cereal and eat together in front of the TV. I miss those days.” Your face was half buried in your pillow. “What’s yours?”

“Easy, pancakes.”

You smiled, your eyes were closed. “I like pancakes too.”

He watched you fall asleep and made a mental note to make some pancakes for breakfast. Your breathing evened out, and he waited a few more minutes to make sure you were asleep before he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes.

Bucky woke up to the sound of rain striking against the window. He opened his eyes and noted that the room seemed brighter than usual. A quick glance at the bedside clock told him that it was already a little past eight.

He stretched, sighing contentedly, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his closed fist. He tilted his head to look at you, still sleeping next to him. You lay on your stomach with your face turned away from him and your arms hugging your pillow. He adjusted the covers around your shoulders and stealthy slipped out of bed.

He went to the window and fixed the shades to make sure they didn’t let any light in. Then he made his way downstairs where he found Steve cracking eggs into a bowl. He was still wearing Bucky’s clothes, but his hair was a mess. Still he looked positively glowing.

“Mornin’,” Steve greeted with a wide smile.

“Hey, man.” Bucky took a seat at the kitchen island. “When did you get back?”

“About ten minutes ago. Long enough to notice that your angel hasn’t slept in her room last night. Wanna talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Bucky said with a shrug. “She didn’t want to be alone.”

“So you slept with her.”

“We slept in the same bed. Nuance.”

“I’m gonna nuance your face with my fist if you don’t talk to her soon,” Steve exclaimed. “She’s not going to stay single forever, Buck. Things are gonna change, one way or another.”

“I know.”

Steve set the bowl aside and held the edge of the counter behind him. He sighed, exasperated. “If I were you, I’d talk to her before something happens and takes your choices away from you.”

Bucky pinched his lips together, hard, and looked down at the counter. A muscle in his jaw jumped. “I- I don’t know how to talk to her,” he said, feeling tears gather in his eyes. He met Steve’s eyes. “I physically can’t talk to her. It hurts. It’s stuck here-” he aggressively grabbed his stomach “-all the time. And it hurts, Steve, you have no idea how painful it is.”

“That’s love,” Steve replied, smiling at him like he, too, knew how it felt.

“Well, it fucking sucks.”

Bucky wiped the back of his hand against his runny nose. Steve stood there in silence.

“This book I’m writing,” Bucky said, breaking the silence. “It’s about her. Just her.” He paused. “I can’t back down now, my publicist’s too invested in our story. I know it’s an eccentric way of telling someone you fell in love with them but... writing’s easier than talking.”

Steve nodded, his eyes glued to the floor. “It’s like a long love letter.”

“Something like that.” Bucky climbed off the stool and rounded the kitchen island. “Now, I’m going to make breakfast. I promised her pancakes.”

Steve smiled and watched him move around the kitchen. “I hope it works out for you, Bucky. I really do.”

Part 10

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagines #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #redgillan #redgillanwrites

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years ago

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so you know how the 100th episode is supposedly about paige but like really it's about cole and wanting to be with phoebe again instead of like being about the charmed ones... well i just realized the 150th ep is mainly about leo and like secondarily about piper and pleo... so like you think if there had been a 200th ep it would have been about henry + paige/henry... like this show be like we gonna focus on the love interests instead of the main characters for the big milestone eps

100th episode my detested,,,,,, plugging my au for the 10,000th time. but now that u point it out, like. yeah. they really both were p relationship focused whether that was establishing that they are meant to be no matter what (leo finding his way back to piper w his mind wiped) or a really weird excuse to drop a plot you've been running for two and a half season (what happened to us, we used the be so in love / maybe it's just not meant to be like girl what. girl we have been here for literal years and the best reason you can come up with to finalize getting rid of cole's character was idk maybe it just wasn't meant to be r u joking. i don't even like phole but like goddamn was that stupid. i'm sorry this is such a tangent but why does phoebe smoke now? and her and cole Both have affairs like clearly phoebe's off the deep end so i don't even really know what's going on there but cole Also having affairs like. like you're telling me this only started to break off from canon in s4 when they were Obsessed with each other in s4 they got married in s4 to someone they hate each other and are in a loveless marriage and sleep with other people because they're empty inside? really? That's The Best You Could Come Up With. piper going awol murder machine shure i'll allow the leather's a little much but it's what 2003 so whatever. but phoebe doing. whatever the hell she was doing in centennial charmed. it literally make no sense. i'm still talking about this after her family was ripped apart after seeming stable for the first time in so so long you're telling me she would abandon piper for cole and then not even like like cole? like this woman would be desperate for a family for love for support for something to call her own and hold onto and know it'll be safe know it won't leave her if anything we should have seen freaky codependent phole not this neutered lackluster indifferent mess. 😡😡😡)

anyway. relationships! tbh tho. would have Loved a good paige/henry backstory ep. bc like. we just vaguely teased henry's backstory and it's literally so fucking interesting like the implications he was abandoned at birth or maybe he was orphaned either was he grew up in the system that failed him over and over again and has like trouble getting close to people because of it and then somehow ended up as a parole officer like trying to help kids who are probably in identical situations to the one he was in like. there's So Much To Do There. but specifically, if i am doing Thee Paige/Henry Centric ep. it is a blast 2 the past in which the couple both have to confront their anxieties around parenting, ending w the reveal that paige is pregnant w twins. or starting w the reveal idc. but i am. really fascinated i've talked about paige and motherhood before but i think like. for anyone who like. has/had good parents but still you know. were either like an evil little shit or just you know fucked up and miserable so on and so forth people who have made their mother cry in the kitchen like. there's something really fascinating there because like. how do you now as a mom try to protect your own child from the pain u went through. because goddamn it seemed like your mom did everything right and yet you were still awful. so how like. how are you supposed. god if you're as good as her which seems like a reach your kid still might be like you and and what if you're not as good as her. what if everything you try to do only backfires and blows up in your face more you know blah blah blah that good old fashioned anxiety. piper and phoebe don't have this because they didn't like. have a mom. but paige did and she had a really good one who never actually got to see her get better and those scars run deep!! aaaaaaaaaa!!!! i really like mom!paige it's something i really like to think about because i think like while she's great with kids she's great with babies she's great with toddlers she's great at connecting with students with charges with parolees i think she really struggles being a mother to her own children for all the aforementioned reasons. so it could be fun to break that down While we also a) get henry's tragic backstory bc we always need more of that and b) henry's own views of parenting and also just more of their relationship headcanon rite now henry gets really into astrology so he can help paige with spells and the like because he hates feeling like he's powerless and can't help his wife so he finds all the ways a mortal can help <3. but yeah i think henry secretly like doesn't even fully realize it has a whole lot of anger stored up in his heart bc i do think he was abandoned at birth and you know paige kinda got closure on that you know she literally got to meet both parties and you know they gave her away to literally protect her from unspeakable wrath vis a vis the elders so there's that but for henry it's like. like he was their son. and they just. they left him. they didn't even leave any way for him to find them again because like. they just didn't fucking care, i guess??? like. what. what could be the reason what could drive them to do that and you know paige whose parents Had Reason are like i'm sure your parents had reason but imo. they didn't. and i think that's a wound henry really pretends like he doesn't have. so we're def tearing that open in ep 200. that and then just like. how much henry wants a family <3 how much he wants to take em to six flags and make french toast on sunday morning and fly kites in the park like he wants to give his kids the childhood he wished so so bad he could have had. bonus round after traveling back through time to pick at scabs til they bleed, we end with a quick flash forward into the future where everything works out <3

#250th episode is coop and phoebe coops is revealed to be genderqueer #charmed #paige x henry #💌#margaretsminiessays

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keirametzbrassknuckles · 3 years ago

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Re: Louis Vuitton

RIGHT?! Why did they choose those colors???? As an endurance test for people willing to shell out $$ for a brand name?? IT’S SO GODDAMN UGLY

I mean it's an old-ass logo and colorway, dating back to the 1890s iirc and hasn't really been changed since then which is cool. But it also leads this feeling of being simultaneously outdated and ultra modern? Idk how to describe it. It looks like it belongs in a slightly light-damaged photo from the 80s or something.

Of course we have to mention that LV's push toward allover monogram in the 90s-2000s was a direct response to Dapper Dan who designed with knockoff monogrammed fabric in what a lot of fashion historians have cited as an attempt to bring this old guard of high fashion to the underserved BIPOC community in Harlem in the 90s (and inadvertently birthed hypebeast culture in the process but WHATEVER).

LV did not like this. The pushback was to make their own allover monogram print stuff (and even steal some of Dapper Dan's designs straight up) and really start hammering home that THEY were doing the allover print and so now it's "classy" and for ONLY white people. The explosion in monogrammed items was to secure the "brand identity" and wrest back the culture sign of the monogram from hip-hop culture.

(Iirc they, a multibilliondollar luxury brand, actually took Dapper Dan, an independant Black fashion designer, to court which is just so many levels of shitty that I can't even unpack rn. (This is of course all post LVMH merger so... fuck you speciffically Arnault) )

This of course has bit them in the ass. LV has become so very very basic (derogatory) but also has maintained this elite quality and history to the brand that attracts people. The logo is a status symbol for people who aren't fashion literate enough to recognize an actual quality bag when they see one so they need the logo to tell them who is important. But what you end up with is Neverfulls sold at Walmart and every mf in target has one because they all want to be a part of this mysterious "elite" meanwhile the actual elite are laughing at them, meanly. Its become nothing more than a meaningless symbol that only serves to brand you as a shallow tryhard. LV has somehow pulled the best advertising campaign and the worst case of brand suicide at the same time and it's baffling.

LV does make some nice bags though. The Speedy is actually a very nice bag imo, I like the structure and in a nice understated solid color I think it's very classy. But slap that monogram on it and all my respect for you goes out the window. And if you want a nice designer tote? There are so many other better options than a Neverfull for like a quarter of the price (but they won't have the monogram and isn't that all you're paying for, really?)

Call me classist if you like idc. Also at the end of the day I, myself, am gutter trash unfit to so much at step foot in an LV store so what do I really know?

#this is incoherent and should be under a readmore im sorry #fashion yelling

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jungwnn · 3 years ago

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Hiiiii😚 i wanna request for a ship with txt, enhypen and bts, thank you soo much for taking the time to do this!☺ I hope you have a good day, stay healthy and take care for yourself🤗

INFP-T | enneagram type 4 | sun: Sagittarius, moon: Cancer | Hate studying anything except English | Competitive when it comes to things I love and am passionate about | Like creative writing and interior designing(basically architecture) | Novels over movies | Even if i watch movies its either action or angst-drama, and always like the evil characters more than the good ones because I'm able to sort of understand why they do what they do, I believe everything has a reason, and every action is a result of something | I also believe in soulmates, love at first sight and all sorts of tropes like these | Obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology and ancient Egypt and just in general medieval eras | Love taking polaroid pictures and traveling | Aesthetic all the way, love being in the nature | I love fairylights and abstract paintings and night walks and stargazing | Love sad things | I'm sensitive to smell and don't like artificial scents | I like going to libraries and museums and cathedrals and old medieval buildings, beaches also and other nature aesthetic places | Always observing little details about everything that other people fail to notice | Easily scared or startled | Have huge trust issues and very sensitive | Have very few friends and am loyal before anything | I'm moved by little things and don't really like much of fancy dates, I like it simple and my favorite would be walk along the beach at night | Am very open-minded and wise but no one's really aware of that | Like disturbing people and then giving puppy eyes | Shy at first but when you get close with me I'm very loud, talkative, playful and annoyingly funny and weird | Just realized it yesterday that i tend to 'huh' a Lot | Clingy with people I am very close to(might even jump and koala hug them tbh) | Everyone's comfort pillar | Very expressive with words and actions | CLUMSY(I hit or bump into something at least once a day) | Love eating (taking advantage of my never getting fat genes lol) but am sort of quite picky | 5'2 - 157cm and I like tall people but I have no problem connecting with people on the shorter side of the height spectrum | Baby voice and baby face | side bangs and dark brown short almost straight hair which reaches just 4cms above the shoulders | Big chocolate brown eyes | Have slightly honey tanned skin | I'm a crybaby too, like if someone I love or care a lot about is getting scolded for whatever reason or they are sad or something then I tend to cry immediately. And while watching or reading sad things too | I do random sounds or actions too and I noticed recently I go 'huh' and 'uh' all the time | sometimes I don't even understand myself like a few days back I was wearing a black sock on my left foot and a white one on my right and then i forgot that i wore mismatched socks so when I noticed it after a while I got fascinated for literally no reason then within seconds i forgot about it again and then when it came to my notice again i got fascinated again and this went on the whole day lmao | My fashion style leans towards boho chic/bohemian and casual | And prefer bare face over makeup and converse over other footwear and dusk(sunset) over dawn(sunrise) but in the album I like dawn ver more🤭 | I love spicy and sour food and have a high tolerance of spice | And my love languages are acts of service>physical touch>quality time>words of affirmation.

YOU SOUND SO INTERESTING AND COOL LETS BE FRIENDS 🙄✋

in txt i ship you with!! Beomgyu !!

pls I can already already see yall fighting over movie chararters😭 I just get the vibe y’all met in a really weird way like he was reaching over to grab a random ass toy and you were too and bam!!! Talking, numbers exchanged. He instantly fell in love with you dude. Like gyu isn’t one to simp but your the exception here. Like dude had a big smile when you responded to his text message. Will he ever tell you that he would bounce up like a puppy whenever he got even a notification hoping it was you?? No. Never. That never happened I swear. There was a time where kai texted and was like “hey soobin said practice in an hour” and gyu straight out texted back “idiot shush I’m waiting” and Kai was just like ??? “...ur weird” basically gyu is literally in love with you from the beginning like it’s insane. That doesn’t stop him from teasing you though. Dude you better stay on high alert this dude is constantly pranking you. They are all harmless but if he ever did hurt you or do something wrong. He will instantly hug you and literally apologize all day and shower you in love. Just finding comfort in each other!! Like he is always there to listen to you talk about anything and just comfort you, He also trust you enough to share his issues! He loves to call you idiot all the time but he says it in the sweetest way or just to tease. He also loves to carry you, it makes him feel super tall ( esp when moas be calling him tiny 😭) also sleepy gyu!! Clingy!!! Let’s say y’all went on a date just a quick ice cream and a walk around the park right, He would look at you and be like “your so pretty~” then you look up and be like “huh? What did you say?” And he would just pull you closer to his side and be like “nothing idiot~” in the same cheeky sweet tone. Then later on that day y’all would just to hang out on the couch cuddled up. He was obviously tired since he was yawning every five seconds. He pulled you against his chest and just started mumbling about how happy he was to have you!! But that’s for your ears only!!

Your overall relationship would consist of:

☼lots and lots screaming like dude is loud but he is expressing his love so it’s okay!

☼movie marathons!!

☼pls don’t use puppy eyes on him he’ll cry at how cute you are

☼let him kiss your forehead and your head he wants to be tall

☼he makes u meals but sometimes they burnt 😣

☼brags abt you all the time like I’m pretty sure taehyun knows your favorite food and your birthday by how much gyu talks

☼he loves listening to you talk abt your interest and fascinations !!

so for Enhypen I ship you with !! Mr.Jake sim!

I just know this boy loves you for your witts bro, like.. how can you be so smart, interesting and pretty at the same time?? Like you completely captured this boys heart!! He loves hearing you talk about Roman and Greek mythology and ancient Egypt!! He thinks it’s honestly so amazing to listen to you speak about your interest🥺 He has this thing, where like whenever you do something cute or he just looks at your face he just walks over and squishes your cheeks. He loves loves loves showing physical affection! He WANTS you to know that you are the light of his life and you make him so so happy!! He talks abt Layla to you all the time and even called you her mom like WOAH. Speaking of mom, Jake gives me the vibe he talks to his parents about you!! Like mans is so serious abt you he just adores you!! Dude is so worried about you when you bump into things, like let’s say you accidentally hit a wall. He will be by your side in a second telling you to be more careful them kissing your forehead. He calls you princess 🧍(HAVE U SEEN THAT ONE FAN CALL BYE) he also treats you like a princess as he should. I have a feeling when he can’t see you in person he calls you and y’all will fall asleep on call. like he would be all sleepy and be like “i miss you :(“ and just talk about your guys day and it would be so sweet!! I’m sure you get the idea !! He’s in L word with you hardcore!!

Your overall relationship would consist of!!

☼he always buys snacks for you because he wants his baby to eat well

☼he is a romantic he loves taking walks on the beach with u!! (And Layla)

☼always compliments your eyes !!

☼always gets you flowers or lil things that remind him of you !

☼he has you as his wallpaper!

☼if y’all go see scary movies together he will most definitely try to act tough and protect you but he fails and hides his face in your neck

☼CHEEK KISSES!!!

for bts I ship you with !! Kim taehyung himself !!

okay okay!! I feel like taehyung loves your mind, he loves hearing your side of things and just loves everything about the way you think! He truly thinks your a piece of art !! like homeboy just loves spending time with you and just talking. He is a hopeless romantic like he loves taking you out to dates that mean a lot to both of you! He takes you to art museums and beaches and takes so many pictures of you!! he has a whole folder dedicated to you!! He also loves hanging out with you and your guys friends!! He just wants everyone to know he’s with you forever and ever!! He is the kinda dude to rest his elbow on your head like deadass just to tease you. He takes you to his hometown often because like I said he wants a future with you!! Expect a lot of snacks from his mom because she adores how happy you make him and he is just!! ugh you lucky lucky girl!! He likes to travel with you, like he can be so unpredictable!! dude will sit there and go “for dinner can we get pizza? Also I got us a trip to Paris for my week off” LIKE OKAY WE GET IT YOUR RICH!! But good for you I guess🙄 also matching outfits. He’s buying you a matching beret and your gna wear for that boxy smile idc. He looked at your matching socks and instantly wanted to try and now he claims it’s the coolest shit ever like Yoongi is always like “why tf?? You bought these in pairs?” Like mind your business Yoongi. His baby does it so he wants to do it too !!🙄✋

overall relationship!!

☼kisses on the lips all the time

☼plane ride cuddles

☼ur boyfriend is your professional photographer

☼pls tell him he’s a good boyfriend he just wants to make you happy

☼always talks to you abt the future <3

☼no joke he has y’all’s kids names planned

☼fun fact.. he bought you a promise ring 😣

a/n aaa!! I hope you like it!! I’m so sorry for the wait!!

#enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #jake enhypen #jake imagines #jake sim #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu x reader #tommrow x together imagine #choi beomgyu #bts imagines #bts #bts taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung x reader

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ilikedetectives · 4 years ago

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Hi, did you play every AC game? If yes, in term of game plays which are the easiest? For someone without much experience in games, ty!

Not every AC game, because I can handle only so much of cookie cutter games at a time. Before I say more, lemme get this out of the way first: I played the Ezio trilogy back in 2018 because Da Vinci’s Demons was cancelled and I wanted more Da Vinci content and the white and red hoodie looks cool. In other words, I didn’t play the game because it’s called Assassin’s Creed.

The AC games I played so far, by the order of which one I play first. I’ll rate gameplay by my personal preferences (because it’s the only way I know how).

Ezio’s trilogy (AC2, AC Brotherhood, AC Revelations, played in 2018): decent parkour, minimal grind (just invest in the villa and you’re a millionaire in a day or two), very story focused (perfect balance of historical and modern plots). Decent combat. The golden years of AC and I agree.

Unity (played a few months after Ezio): good parkour, medium grind (bigger map and more items to upgrade, you still get to invest in properties so it helps). Time-saver items are on sale for real money aka MTX (ew). Combat is ok, not much difference since Ezio. Historical story is meh (I don’t care for Arnold because Elise’s story is more interesting) and they completely ditched the modern plot (you think Odyssey has little modern day plot, try Unity). Buggiest AC game I encountered and I played this game 4+ yrs after launch (hold on to that thought, keep reading). Ubi spent all of their time and budget doing the interior design (which is gorgeous btw) that they have none left to fix the bugs.

Black Flag (a few months after): chasing flying papers is my favorite activity to NOT do. Grindy af (no property investment). I can’t tolerate the controls for the ship so I hate everything that involves ship in this pirate game, except for sea shanties. You’ll have more fun playing this game as a pirate than an assassin. Combat feels the same since Ezio. Other mechanics are like Unity (understandable). Modern plot is minimal, but it makes bloodline irrelevant and there’s a....soul inside a computer server that wants to possess a human body, meanwhile said soul’s husband is a maniac who has unlimited reincarnations (realism, I know). Black Flag is the gateway game that convinces me that I should stop wasting my brain cells in “what kinda bs realism is dis?”

Odyssey (a month after launch, bought solely because of Kassandra also when I heard Odyssey is set before the creed, oh fuck yea I don’t need to sit through another rehash of Creed crap or at least minimal anyway): oh gods a breath of fresh air from the old controls where you have to hold R2 whenever you want to run and my fingers hurt sfm. Climbing is the best because the protag actually moves where you want them to move. MTX (ew). Grindy but because the combat and movements are smooth, best combat so far; I don’t see Odyssey as grindy because I enjoy my time playing (also Kassandra); I platinum the game on PS4 at around 130 hrs I think, could’ve been earlier but photomode. Fun quests that I giggle whenever thinking about them (I don’t remember shit about any quests in any other AC game, but then again Kassandra). People bitch about no parkour but who parkour in the 450BCE?!?!? Full disclosure: I never cared for parkour and never will. I stop caring for modern plot after how Unity and Black Flag handled it. Playing Odyssey makes me realize that I enjoy AC games more if idgaf for the AC aspect, rather, I play for the fictional historical tourism aspect. Just ditch the AC and voila, blue sky and fresh air. Playing Odyssey also makes me realize that I want a spin-off IP that focus on the Isu so we can go full fantasy. Do I need to say how pretty Odyssey is? lol

Origins (planned to play Origins first, but Kassandra. Also, I remember Amunet from AC2, but somehow we play as a dude in Ancient Egypt, I’m not too eager to find out, despite I prefer Egyptian mythology over Greek and I’d like to thank Yu-gi-oh for that): combat is clunky, heavy, and slow, though no need to hold R2 to run so phew. Grindy af. The bow mechanics is a decade outdated (Horizon Zero Dawn came out the same year and oh boi the difference is night and day, oh yea I played HZD before Origins. I get it the bow isn’t the focus but does it have to feel like Skyrim in 2017?). I’m glad I play this game for the Ancient Egypt (which is beautifully designed *chef kiss*) aspect and no more.

Syndicate (I play this along side of Origins, still haven’t finished it though. Literally bought the game for Evie and I nut over Victorian fashion): combat is no different from Unity. Grindy like Black Flag and Unity. Story is meh in both historical and modern plot so far. Evie is the only reason I’m still trying to play this game. At least the Helix outfits are included in the Gold edition of the game. Victorian London is gorgeous tho.

Valhalla (only care for this game because Eivor. Tbh after God of War and Hellblade, idc for another Viking game): game is buggy af, buggiest AC game I’ve played. Combat is like Origins but worse: the only saving grace is the finishing move & the bow mechanic hasn’t been improved since Origin; I honestly would rather have combat from the Ezio games over whatever-this-is. You have to toggle a button to run now, which is dumb af because I miss Origins and Odyssey automatic run. They bring parkour back (because Vikings totally dig parkour back in the Dark Ages) as well as the-character-doesn’t-move-where-you want-them-to from the older games. Chasing flying papers from black flag is back, no thx. Looting enemies is useless, but hey you get to run around to look for a key or two or THREE to get some minimal amount of materials; so imagine if 2/3 of every chest in Origins and Odyssey are locked. Oh! You have manually pick berries/food to heal, no healing potion, wtf is this half-ass RPG shit? Side quests, oh sorry World Events, aren’t tracked in an open-world game (guess who hasn’t been doing these bitches?). Grindy af. I’m wasting my time looking at the skill points interface (you have 99 lv in Odyssey, 55 in Origins, 403 power in Valhalla. A game doesn’t feel like grindy if you level up every 2 quests for 403 times, does it? lololol). The useless SP tree is so massive that I just don’t use the skills I acquire because it takes too much time to find out which buttons to push to locate the 10 skills in this 403-dot clusterfuck, but the astronomy design is beautiful (gotta give credit when it’s due). Scummy practice from Ubi: releasing “time-saver” pack AFTER reviews are published. Also, who wanna bet there will be more mtx outfits than in-game outfits? Don’t worry, Ubi makes inventory management cLEaNeR for you *hands over 8 outfits for an RPG game*. The free event bugs tf out of your already buggy event, but hey, you’ll get a free outfit that’s a reskin of what you already have, teeheee be grateful. Eivor is amazing but by the gods playing this game is a chore. Tbh I only play Valhalla if I don’t feel like playing Ghost of Tsushima that day. Lastly, why is England so yellow like it’s Ancient Egypt?!?!? And why the sunlight moves faster than Eivor’s running at full speed? Which parts of this game does realism count?!?!?!?

Unsolicited opinion: GoT is an example of how an AC game should be and how DLCs should be handled, but with Ubisoft it will never be and I’m so fucking glad that it is Sucker Punch Prod which handles feudal Japan with utmost respect and realism. See how “honor” is handled in both games and compare the writing. Ubisoft should have announced ding dong AC is dead and create a new IP, but AC is their most financially successful franchise so expect more of this MTX, I mean, grindy RPG approach with minimal narrative.

#every time I talk about AC I need to go play ghost of tsushima to cleanse myself #ask #anon #Assassin's Creed #ac2 #ac brotherhood #ac revelations #ac unity #ac black flag #ac4 #ac syndicate #ac odyssey #ac origins #ac valhalla

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lovelacegsl · 4 years ago

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call me a nerd, old fashioned or whatever but i love how jo and fritz stand under the same umbrella and how amy and laurie row the same boat, it's just something so pretty to me, the symbolism it's just idk, it's very special to me idc idc

#dennis' thoughts

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soooldout · 4 years ago

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what happened with ljy, why do you dislike him so much just curious?

Oh ljy. A lot of stuff:

- Whenever any of his artists had some baseless rumors in the media and the public slandering them, (before 2019) he didn’t do jackshit to defend them. Talking mainly about Tablo of Epik High, Jisoo of Lovelyz and Woohyun (his was not even that long ago). You can search their ‘scandals’ and rumors if you’re curious. Highly recommend reading about Tablo though if you haven’t, especially the article The Persecution of Daniel Lee (google it, it’s by stanford)

- Didn’t give anyone attention besides Sunggyu Myungsoo for most of infinite’s career

- Ignored the MAIN vocal of his best selling group for that long. Ignored every member of Infinite (individual schedules) when they could have gotten even more popular at their peak (same goes for Lovelyz, they’re in their what..seventh year already and not one of them has reached the level of popularity that they deserve because of ljy’s neglect....that is wasted TALENT. besides Mijoo being a meme and she did that all on her own)

- He makes 99% of the decisions because he’s on that dictator level - there was a recent article (koreaboo so would take with a grain of salt but it’s too believable) compiling past woollim employees’ comments about the company and they said this. the dictator thing, they also said that the staff is constantly criticizing artists’ appearance which I believe hundred percent is learned from ljy (re. today’s comments on woohyun) plus the fact that the company is very old-fashioned/conservative and doesn’t like to take risks or think out of the box, and there’s no real growth. Imagine if they did. They could’ve been at the level of bighit by now (Again take this one with a grain of salt except that ljy does make 99% of the decisions by himself)

so yes we blame him for all the long hiatuses between comebacks for ALL his groups. and we blame him for anything that goes wrong in woollim pretty much

- Didn’t let Myungsoo smile during his first few years in Infinite - Sunggyu said this himself a couple weeks ago and that it was sad that such a happy boy had to follow that rule. plus other disrespectful things e.g. I heard he would also get mad and rip off Myungsoo’s plaid shirts that he liked wearing

- Didn’t let Hoya compose songs for Infinite and when Hoya finally composed One Day, he didn’t want Rphabet/Razer to tell Jungyeop so that it would be approved. And ofc did not let Hoya have a solo album. Arguably the most talented idol in his company - he can rap he can sing he can dance he can act is there anything Hoya can’t do well?

- He said Woollim’s marketing team was just him until like last year. I have no words

- A Sungjong fansite master once asked ljy to please give Sungjong more schedules and he replied ‘what is Sungjong even good at?’ The anger I have towards him just for this statement >>>>>>>>

- He told Sungjong to go back to practicing like a trainee...in I think Infinite’s eight year? Or ninth? (That time he was on weekly idol with dongwoo and sungyeol)

- also multiple times has told Sungjong to lose weight and I know this happens in every agency but Sungjong would go to extreme measures to reach the ‘ideal’ weight e.g. during the eye promotions he literally starved himself. Plus he forced that ‘manly’ image on Sungjong for a couple promotions even though Sungjong was clearly uncomfortable with it

- Called Woohyun ugly on a live broadcast?!!?? Just today???? Like idc if he was drunk or those jokes are their usual or whatever it’s just downright disrespectful

- On the same vlive, said out loud ‘Sunggyu doesn’t want to talk to inspirits’ like bithchhh? Who are you to say something like that when Sunggyu does 3 hour vlives and actually tries to turn on insta live to communicate with us and is always apologizing for not being able to meet inspirits and release music?

I bet you ljy is 95% the reason Hoya, Myungsoo, Epik High, Minseok, Nell, Tasty left the company. And who knows what’s going on with Joo, did she leave or is she stuck in the wlm dungeon? I could go on but you get the idea.

He is so stupid and trashy oh my godddd I can’t and the fact that he’s scared of inspirits is something that gives me joy ⚔

Stans that call him appa and papi and oppa and want to marry him...please stop it’s embarrassing. Stop defending him. Please open your eyes.

#infinite #lovelyz #golden child #anonymous #ask

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vandergeld · 5 years ago

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hey everyone welcome BACK to my blog , hi , how are ya ? i’m RUZZY ( or ru , rudy idk if thats too much lmAO ) & i have not been apart of a group in 84 years ............ that graphic is so extra but i was bored & first impressions are everything , ANYWHO this is my mans WARNER played by my mans GRAYSON DOLAN , who lacks f’n resources so i gotta work some magic w/ all these gifs on tumblr lmao so any gif icons are noT mine for the most part they’ll be taken from gifs alr created ( s/o 2 the fly hunnies that made ‘em ) anyway ya’ll don’t really care abt me lmao soooooo here’s warner ! PLS feel free to hmu ANYTIME for the plots & things of that nature u could lit never bother me idc , my discord is 𝐫𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐳𝐢#1643 if u everrr need to get ahold of me when im not on tumblr !

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍, cismale, he/his. → look out, there’s 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃. you know, the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 year old 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 of 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐔. you know, i overheard someone say that they were 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 , 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 and 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃. but that’s just rumours. fresh new pairs of air jordan 1's, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and lost weekends come to mind when i think of them. what about you? [ ruzzy, he/him, 18, est ]

TW : CANCER MENTION , SMOKING MENTION .

// » GENERAL :

FULL NAME : warner evangelino alexander vandergeld ( inspired by the antagonists of white chicks lmaooo ) .

HOMETOWN : new york city , new york .

NICKNAMES : dumbass .

AGE : twenty .

BIRTHDAY : october twenty-first .

ZODIAC : libra .

GENDER : male .

PRONOUNS : he & him .

NATIONALITY : american .

ETHNICITY : german , italian , irish .

LABEL(S) : the golden boy , the lothario , the jock .

TROPE(S) : chick magnet , hormone-addled teenager , unwitting pawn , upper class twit ,

OCCUPATION : college student & collegiate football player & full time frat bro .

FRAT : beta lambada mu .

MAJOR : environmental science .

POS : charming , charismatic , brave , athetic , dedicated , eco-friendly , high-moral compass , book smart , kind , energetic , optimistic , loyal ( most of the time ) , respectful , well-rounded , level-headed , ambitious , debonair , life of the paty .

NEG : compulsive , easily-influenced , dimwitted , hypersexualized , problematic , addictive , rebellious , bemused , defensive , clingy , hopeless-romatic , overly-competitive , envious .

INSP : nate archibald ( gossip girl )

// » PAST :

warner was born & raised in the city that never sleeps and is the product of evangeline moretti-vandergeld , an intelligent american-italian socialite turned environmental politician , and captain william vandergeld , a former navy captain , and now a shareholder in some boring fortune 500 company that allowed his wife and son to live an affluent , and privileged life . his mother however , was the real deal , often using their sum of wealth to donate to multiple charities , organizations , etc, she was dedicated to keeping new york city ( and all who lived there ) clean and safe , and she instilled those same values onto her son.

some people are born lucky , and others , lucky to be born . warner was the first option . his childhood was nothing short of happiness , and happiest days were with his mother , for as long as he could remember , any happy moment in his childhood was faded right into her.

things took a drastic change his freshman year of ( private obvy lmao ) high-school . warner’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer , and little to his knowledge , it wasn’t looking pretty from the start . she was frequently in and out of the hospital for a few months at a time and it was not looking good on any fronts . one day when she went to the hospital it seemed like she never left , maybe she didn’t , those days were a blur for warner to be honest . watching his mother lose life , every single day was not a task he was up for .

by then it was just warner and his father , they were all they had in the big city . ( when he wasn’t always away on business ) warner grew up in that big luxy town house all by himself , with the company of loyal maids , chefs , and nannies of course . but in high school , the more he really submerged himself into it , it was a crazy world & he loved it . whilst getting demands from his father in tokyo to attend those boring sailing classes , warner instead headed out to their beach house in the hamptons for an early 20 rager .

warner undoubtedly knew the power he possessed , big man on campus type & it felt good , until about towards the end of his junior year he was honestly all partied out , but of course reputation is everything , in order to keep up thats when he picked up the real ugly habits , that were of course fun . smoking numerous amounts of marijuana , various girls in - and - out every other day was a feeling like no other , he knew it was wrong , he knew his mom would be ashamed , him doing all these things and not carrying on her legacy in some way . but he couldn’t help himself in a all honesty , and no doubt some of that transitioned over in college .

// » AES :

lost weekends partying , chicken wings & french fries , air jordan 1′s , gucci guilty cologne , friday night lights , clouds of smoke & red eyes , diamond encrusted jewelry glistening under bright lights in a dark room , nike sweatsuits , game winning moves , new york city at night , hamptons in the summer , spring break in miami , impulsive decisions .

// » TL;DR :

( and some stuff i probably missed oops ) warner is a conflicted mama’s boy who knows half the shit he does is wrong but can’t stop . after his mothers passing he had an absent father who seemed to always be away on business , only in town for a month or two , missing his sons’ multiple feats to keep himself distracted from the fact that his wife was no longer with them. created immense daddy issues for warner , especially since he was a standout football star & 2x stage champ in high school , and is currently playing collegiality for the irish , with dreams of making it in the nfl cause screw his dad he don’t wanna go 2 the navy , or work for dat company # not gonna happen . warner took great advantage of wealth & his fathers absence , but he’s lowkey partied out in college , or so he likes to say but he fakes it ‘till he makes it bc he doesn’t his brothers to think he’s lame . HE’S LIVING FOR EVERYBODY BUT HIM BASICALLY .

// » HEADCANONS :

warner is on a football scholarship majoring in environmental science bc although he most likely won’t do shit w/ da degree its for mommy .

he can EASILY be manipulated or taken advantage of , he’s book smart but lowkey dumber than a fucking box of rocks

immastonerbyyoungthug.mp3 . occasionally , but , more so than that ? he always manages to flush out his system in time if needed be , but he loves 2 roll up # stress relief

a BEAST on that field ( student athlete meme here )

has all the canon gray tattoos bc fuck what dad thinks . he wears a solid 16 inch gold chain , and another of the same length with his moms’ name on it , never fucking takes it off , showers with it cause he can .

ok ........ he rich , but like not i can do whatever i want rich ??? he may not ever have to work a day in his life , but he don’t got the pull u think he does w/ his dumb ass u probably couldn’t even tell he’s got money with his minimalist fashion sense .

he has a higher moral compass than most of his frat bros , but the stupid shit he does , u most likely won’t even be able to tell , he’s definitely a serial romeo and a heartbreaker , one compliment ? he’s ready to drop his pants & fall in love w/ u .

HE DUMB , but like he can talk his way into & out of anything , most of the time , batting those big brown eyes & a million dollar smile has saved his ass on multiple occasions .

// » WANTED CONNECTIONS :

EX-GIRLFRIEND : i’m thinking his first & only “ serious “ relationship while in college . were going pretty steady until he cheated on her ( hmm wc on who he cheated on her w/ ?? ) , she never found out but that guilt ate warner TF UP so he cut things off with her via text message and blocked her number , ignores her any chance he gets ‘till this day , cause he doesn’t have any balls and cannot face his fears .

FRAT BROS : lowkey what i’m MOST excited for asdfgh like whoever is in beta lambada mu hit me the fuck UP so we can discuss dynamics , roomates , allat .

FOOTBALL TEAM : same for above , he’s lowkey cocky & got sly comments when he’s on the field , he constantly humbles himself but can’t helps it , he is hot shit and he knows it , how does his team feel ab that ?? w/ his defensive ass !

GOOD-LUCK CHARM : prolly a girl ( bonus points if a cheerleader ??? im not picky tho i promise if ur muse don’t shake poms idc ) it happened out the blue , they screamed his name while the team was walking out for a game , and she called that he’d get 3 td’s and thats exactly what he did now they joke ab it and shit ( maybe a goodluck kiss b4 games bc its warner lolol ) idk i came up wit it on the spot but i love it.

// » MISC :

i’m a dumbass & this got way longer than i expected but if u made it all the way thru ily .

#clovers.intro #♔ — ∞ ⁞ @ 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃 ↱ OOC.#im so srry this a novel #but woot woot im so excited !!!!

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