#. probably because he literally is just an iterator to me already im gonna be honest.

[mcybree]

"if you happen to fall in the subcategory of people who are really into third life and also rain world lets talk. please. i have an au come back"

i am staring at u with my artificer plushy in my hands

*walks onto the stage. taps mic.* um. Jimmy sliver of straw incident. *jumps off the apron breaking all of my bones immediately upon contact with the floor*

[hazbincalifornia]

Amount of writing I’m getting done for OT and my IZ fic: Some.

Amount of writing I’m getting done for self-indulgent bullshit: Somewhat more.

Anyway, wrote out Bella meeting Sir Pentious because I was bit by the muse bug. This is written for the four people who know who they both are, f.

Wordcount: 2075

The second she saw the airship soaring through the red-tinted sky, shooting anything that looked at it funny, Bella knew she had to get inside of it. Let Kit flirt with their host (or, if she was honest, fail to flirt with, man, she didn’t even like flirting and even she knew that he turned into a pile of goopy mush when he was around a guy he thought was cute) and let Vee attempt to kidnap yet another animal to try and smuggle home, she wanted to find out who the heck made a steam-powered airship in the twenty-first century.

Or maybe Hell was actually stuck in the year 1900, who knew? Time probably passed funny in the afterlife, but the fact that nobody had shot them out of the sky yet said that there was something else afoot- the pilot had to have some way of warding off attacks considering rivals probably had, like, grenade launchers, and she wanted to find out how. Style merged with substance, ruling the air with confidence- and she wanted in. 

“Hey! Hey you!” She flagged down somebody with four arms and purple fur who looked short enough to be less likely to punt her into orbit- Mom had warned that most people down here were mean as, well, Hell- and pointed up at the ship. “What’s the deal with those?”

“You a newly dead?” The demon raised one of their four eyes, and Bella nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, newly dead. Anyway. Story?”

“They’re made by Sir Pentious, one of the Overlords. He’s some kinda inventor, I’unno. Never blew up anything that mattered to me, so I never cared that much.”

“Sir Pentious…” She rolled the name around in her mouth, plucking the ‘T’ in the middle thoughtfully along with the rubber bands wrapped around her braces. “Got it. Thanks!”

“Er- you’re welcome.” They darted off, but that was fine. Now it was just a matter of actually getting onboard.

____________

She couldn’t find a rocket pack anywhere- lousy Hell lagging behind Earth technologically- but ended up stumbling across the next best thing in a warehouse that had an extra ship that had clearly been in some sort of accident. This one was only partially-reassembled, and there was a lot of burn damage sustained to the aluminum and copper outside, but that just meant that she could see the skeleton without having to slice through a lot of layers, so it was almost better- and a lot easier to crawl in one of the big holes in the front window via a pile of parts in front of it.

The interior was decorated like a mansion, with vivid yellows, reds, and blacks- she could respect the commitment to the aesthetic, especially with torn-open snakesheds and red eyeballs plastered everywhere. It looked like something out of Mom’s old comic book collection, toxic and yet intoxicating, every detail chosen for maximum dramatic potential. It must look even better with all the lights on and more than her phone’s flashlight illuminating bits at a time.

It was the best playground that she could imagine- nothing but her and a massive ship the size of an apartment building. Oddly enough, there wasn’t much dust- maybe it had crashed recently and was being held here for repairs? It was certainly of a similar design to the one that she’d seen from the ground, so she couldn’t imagine that it wasn’t just an iteration or two away.

Her fingers ran over the sleek machinery like it was sacred- some of it looked like it belonged in a museum, but the rest was cutting edge, and the seamless way they blended was like something out of a dream. A genius indeed- if she’d been born a hundred years ago and was suddenly thrust into the modern day, she could only hope that her tech would look this good. There was room for improvement of course, there always was, but it was loads better than most of what she saw digging through the junkyard, and a lot closer to the stuff she made with Grandpa Zim using his irken tech. Impressive for someone who’d clearly been dead for some time, considering he’d made enough of a name for himself that some rando off the street knew it.

“Genius inventor, huh…?” Bella pulled out her screwdriver, starting to work on freeing the control panel. It had a touchscreen and levers, what was that about? She had to know what it looked like underneath- did Hell even use cables and wires or was she going to need to drag Kit in to do his magic business here?

It took some doing- whatever had taken this particular ship down had welded the panel into place and it took a crowbar to pry off, ha, take that Venus for saying she ‘didn’t need to bring it’- but eventually she got into the guts of the thing. Sure enough, it was wiring, spiraled all into itself in a knot- it must have gotten all messed up at some point, maybe that was what caused the crash on top of whatever burnt the outside? 

She was about to start taking it apart when she heard a pitter-patter behind her.

“I’ve got a gun and I know how to use it, ya know,” she said, rummaging around in her pocket before pulling it out. “Mom insisted I bring the one that can vaporize people since apparently half of you can’t even die the normal way anyway? Bunch of freaks.” Her finger twitched towards the trigger as the pitter-patter became a shadow as the thing scrambled up towards the same hole she’d come in. “I’m warning you, I’m a great shot. Won’t take two to blow your brains out.”

“Whoever you are, bossman says you gotta go!” 

It was an egg. Not like some kind of insult, it was literally an egg, and probably a third of her size. It was also wearing a little hand-tailored suit and top hat. She stared down at it, and it stared up at her. 

“Who’s bossman?” Bella asked after a few very long seconds of silence.

“You know… bossman!” It blinked. “He doesn’t like people pokin’ around his cool, cool stuff and you tripped the motion sensor. Hey, is that a ray gun?”

Bella’s finger eased off the trigger. “Yeah, it is. It can probably scramble you.”

“Oooh! Fun! Not as good as boss’s, I’m sure, but-”

“Hey, what say you take me to this boss?” Bella crouched down, knowing this was incredibly stupid but also already entirely committed to it. “Then he can decide what to do with me in person.”

“Hmm… alright, but no funny business!” The egg looked her up and down before turning heel, starting to clamor down the pile of parts. She had to hold back a snort when she saw that it had ‘#69’ written on its back.

Some things never changed no matter where you went.

____________

The egg blabbered on all the way back to the ship, mostly about jazz music oddly enough, but soon enough they were nearing a different ship that had settled behind a building. It was either the one she’d seen before or a duplicate, and she felt a shiver run up her spine as she got close- it looked a lot cooler in one piece and lit up bright yellow. Her phone buzzed, and she discreetly pulled it out as the egg launched into a diatribe on the importance of the saxophone. It was a text from her sister. 

dolittle 🐭: bells where ARE you

dolittle 🐭: kits distracting clove so I could grab one of those bugdog things but moms gonna be asking how were doing soon, what should I say

Bella thought for a moment before sending back a reply. ‘im checking out that airship we saw earlier. have weapons. ill be fine. meet you back at the cafe later’

dolittle 🐭: be careful ok? know you can handle it but still

Bella smiled a little at that, sending a thumbs up before tucking her phone back into her pocket as they ascended the bridge.

“And then, then he saysss to me, he sayssss- Ah, there you are! Good, good.” She heard him before she saw him, voice booming as he welcomed his hench-egg back. “And what was poking around the warehouse?”

“This, boss!” The egg tugged at her jeans by the knee around the corner before pushing her forward with surprising force. “They said they wanted to see you!”

“Well well well!” 

Bella’s antennae twitched as her eyes widened. The man in front of her was a jet black snake, with fangs, a top hat, a bowtie, and eyes on his face as well as nestled on the open space on his chest and hood. Best she could pin from Venus’s nature lectures he was a cobra of some sort, and there was a smug fang-y grin on his face as he slithered up to her, taking advantage of the height that his tail gave him- he’d probably be seven feet easy to Bella’s mere five foot one. 

It took her only a moment to shake off her awe. “So you’re the famous Sir Pentious!”

His grin widened. “Ah! You’ve heard of me, little tresssspassser?” 

“Obviously, considering I knew your name, right?”

“Er- yes!” He faltered for just a moment, and she went in for the kill.

“Your work’s fantastic, but you really need a way to keep the gutty stuff in order in case of a hit- that’s probably part of why that other ship went down, y’know? But your sense of design and how you mold your century-old designs with the new stuff- it’s fantastic, I just want to cut it all open and see how it works.”

“What did you do?” His hood flared, and she twirled the gun in her hands.

“I only touched the control panel, and your little egg boy got at me before I messed with anything, but I’d give anything for a couple of days working on the interior of this place- I bet I could make it run faster and with less fuel.”

The eye on his hat rolled itself as he narrowed the eyes on his face. “Who are you to come in and think you know better than I about my own shipssss? I should end you right here for your insolence and your trespassing!”

Bella folded her arms, glancing around. “Hmm… far left column, the one with a yellow eye instead of a red one.”

“What about it?” He folded his arms as well, waggling his head. “Are you-”

“It’s welded weird. Something went wrong with the metal when it was being forged, so you put it in the back so you wouldn’t have to look at it. You didn’t want to waste a perfectly good column because somebody screwed up one little part. And that’s just what I see looking around in, like, five seconds- gah!” The end of his tail had wrapped around behind her while she’d been talking, and struck before she finished her sentence, lifting her up to his eye-level with her arms pinned to her sides.

“Little wrench! How dare you?” 

“I’m…” Her legs kicked a little, ribs feeling uncomfortably bendy at the moment as his scales pressed against her chest and back. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

His tongue darted out as he hissed, just barely brushing her nose before sliding back into his mouth.

“What do you really want, missy? I don’t like competition, you know.”

“You to let me breathe, for one,” she wheezed, fingers turning to try tickling what she could reach, and his cheek twitched funny before she dropped bodily to the floor, only managing to roll in time thanks to muscle memory from combat training. Thanks, Grandpas. “I really do just wanna see how all your stuff works. The ways I could improve my own inventions if I just could figure out how to blend different functionalities the way that you do...”

“I am quite impresssssive, aren’t I?” He puffed up his chest a bit. “And you have no intention to-”

Bella drew an X over her chest. “Cross my heart. You’re the bossman.”

He looked her up and down. “Hmm. Get back to me when you have a proper uniform and not those ragssss, and I suppose I could show you around a bit, if- if!- you show me something of yourssss.  ”

Bella’s grin slipped into a smirk as she gave a bow. “Bella Donna at your service, then, Sir Penny.”

[thiswebsiteisbooty]

On the EVO donation drive

If you’re reading this on Tumblr and still following me you probably know that I pretty much only come around to post about EVO and then peace out a few days later. I’m not sure how many of you that is because Im not 100% on how the new dashboard works but if you are here then you know I’m around a little early. But I’m posting *about* EVO anyway so there ya go.

If you’re reading this on Facebook then I know a lot of you guys probably only have at best a passing knowledge of what EVO is but you’ve seen me post about it, particularly Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 a lot, so I’m just gonna ask if you guys have any spare money please consider donating here:

https://www.generosity.com/fundraising/evo-2017-player-vote-ultimate-marvel-vs-capcom-3

Your money goes to the Make-a-Wish foundation, and you make a guy you know personally really happy as well.

And as a final pretense before I really get into this I’m just gonna be honest this is gonna be pretty rant-y, so it might not be a super focused read and will probably contain a few expletives so just be pre-warned.

Originally I was gonna come here and I was going to break down the poll game by game, essentially breaking down why I felt like each game shouldn’t be voted for and why Marvel should. But as it stands right now the winner is going to be either Marvel or Pokken, so this is mostly going to be centered around why I think Marvel is the most deserving game, and why I feel Pokken just might be the least deserving, or at least one of the least deserving.

And every time I look at that generosity page my stomach does flips because it’s literally like a best/worst case scenario. But the funny part about this entire situation is I feel like Marvel shouldn’t even be on this poll. Marvel absolutely *should* already have its spot. Regardless of how you the individual might feel about Marvel 3 in particular, Marvel vs. Capcom has been practically synonymous with EVO. Up until only last year Marvel, be it 2, 3, or Ultimate 3, has always been sort of the penultimate game for EVO, only behind whatever Street Fighter was out at the time. I don’t know if I agree with IFC Yipes in that Marvel made EVO (mostly because I haven’t been around *that* long), but I do agree that without it EVO never would have reached the point that it has. And you look at Marvel 3 specifically, and that game has been a staple of EVO through damn near every iteration of Street Fighter 4, even lasting long enough to share the stage with Street Fighter 5, outlived who knows how many Netherrealms games, Soul Caliburs, Tekkens, Personas, you name it. And that’s not to knock (most) of those games but to make a point that not even taking into account 2, Marvel 3 specifically has been a prefixture of this event for a long ass time

And never mind the countless moments that the game has given us. Back in 2013 what was one of the top things people talked about when EVO was over? Justin’s absolutely incredible run, beating odds on favorite Chris G and going on to nearly defeat Floker to win his first Marvel 3 EVO. Then there was the following year when he clutched it out against F Champ and beat Chris G once more to finally actually do it.

Hell even last year, Chris G, despite being the odds on favorite to win several years in a row, *finally* went ahead and took the one tournament that had alluded him for years. And the year before that when KBR (even though I dont much care for him) became the first non-American to win Marvel at EVO.

People have known for a minute with MvCI on the horizon that this was probably going to be Marvel 3′s last year at EVO, and so people were gearing up for it’s proper final sendoff and now you’re telling me that Marvel might not even be *at* EVO?

And I know there’s a lot of people who agree with me on this because every where I go, even from people who voted for different games, even for people who voted for Pokken, I keep hearing the same thing: “I’m voting for Pokken, but Marvel absolutely deserves to be there”

“Marvel shouldn’t even be a part of the poll”

“There shouldn’t even be a poll, Marvel should take that 9th slot”

And don’t even get me started on how tight I am that there are not one but TWO Smash games, games that barely even qualify as fighting games, games that a good chunk of the FGC never wanted around in the first place, at EVO, but Marvel might not. Especially since y’all are a good chunk of the people pushing for Pokken (which we’ll get to trust me). If I hear one more Melee player complain about Melee being on Saturday and not Sunday while Marvel might not even *be* at EVO I honestly might lose my shit.

And I mean no disrespect to my Smash 4 community, particularly the local Nebraska scene cuz y’all know I have nothing but respect for you guys. My problem really mostly is with Melee, that relic of a game that people just cant seem to let go of. But it’s so funny to me at how often the Smash crowd, particularly Melee, talks about how much they don’t need the FGC and yet they won’t leave.

But it isn’t even really about that. I could sit here and talk shit about Melee all day long but you know whatever. They have there spot and that’s fine. But suffice to say that if it were up to me, Melee would get booted in favor of Marvel in a heartbeat.

But let’s talk about this poll for an honest minute though. If you remember the donation drive they did a while ago and compare it to this one, the last one blows this one way out of the water. Every single game on that list was at least, you know, a fighting game, with actual communities that would absolutely show up to play. I mean there was Melee and Brawl of course but again shit, at least those two games are closer to fighting games than shit like Windjammers, and Nidhogg. There wasn’t goofy meme-y shit like those two, and ARMS. And dont get me wrong I’m excited to play ARMS but THAT GAMES NOT EVEN OUT YET (and before anyone brings up “Injustice 2 isn’t out either” just know that in my book that game can go fuck itself for about the same reason. BUT EVEN THEN, that game at least has a known community that will come out and play it). We don’t even know what community, if any, is gonna come out for ARMS, by that point, since it’ll be coming out 1-3 months before EVO (I’d remind you that ARMS doesn’t even have a set release date. Just “Spring 2017″), that game isn’t even gonna have any real advanced tech discovered yet, if there even is any to discover. Not that any of those stand a chance at winning at this point but the fact that they were included kinda pisses me off. I can kind of see Windjammers since a lot of the FGC likes that game but Nidhogg? Do most of yall even remember that game? And ARMS? REally?

I know someone’s gonna be like, “Well the last donation drive had Divekick, and Fighting is Magic”. And I was one of the first people to say that FiM was probably the weakest, meme-ist option put up there but you know, that was happened because the FGC is filled with trolls. If you remember, the only games that made the donation drive were games that got at least 500 votes on the Facebook poll and I’m pretty confident that 490 of FiM’s votes were trolls being trolls. And at least in Divekick’s defense, that game was made by a dude from that community, for the community. Divekick is basically one massive FGC in joke anyway so if Divekick had made it, it basically would’ve been a big thank you to one of the FGC’s own.

But I think what makes me the most upset about the whole situation isn’t even just that Marvel might not get the proper sendoff that it deserves, but that it’s Swan Song stands a strong chance of being snatched away by Pokken. And just, let’s review Pokken for a sec.

First off, this was the game that was being removed from Japanese arcades in droves because nobody gave enough of a shit to play it. And we’re talking about a culture that loves both Pokemon AND fighting games, and they wanted absolutely nothing to do with that game.

And then, when it came stateside, those of yall that watched tournaments saw that pretty much ever ad breakthere was a little vingette for Pokken. They tried their hardest to get people to actually care about this game, and yet... you pratically had to dig through the Twitch trenches just to find Pokken tournaments. People weren’t watching, and people weren’t entering. Then it got to EVO because Nintendo money, and it had one of the lowest entrants and viewer rates of any of the games there.

Then post EVO, a lot of majors didn’t even run the game because people weren’t entering or watching. And speaking of Nintendo, I would remind you that Nintendo themselves have since dropped Pokken from their Pokemon Championship Series. So not even the parent company gives a fuck about the game at this point.

So with all that being said, never in a million years did I think that Marvel would be neck and neck with Pokken. KI, maybe. MKX, maybe. Shit I figured even Windjammers had a better shot than Pokken and yet here we are.

And you might wonder where the fuck the money is coming from if nobody gives a shit about Pokken. Simple, its coming from Smashers (and you can go check smash websites, most of them are advocating super hard for Pokken), and people who are just fans of Pokemon and will throw money at anything Pokemon. And look I love Pokemon too. It’s top 3 favorite Nintendo franchise and might be top 5 favorite franchises of all time. But I have no doubt in my mind that a lot of the people throwing money at this, barely know what EVO is, probably don’t even know the dates of EVO, and have 0 intentions of watching that game at EVO much less showing up to play the game. Case in point, Shofu is out here on Twitter advocating and donating to this game, and you would think that Shofu, who runs one of the biggest Pokemon related YouTube channels, would probably have a lot of Pokken content right? Well guess when the last time he even posted a video about the game was. I’ll save you the search, it was 6 months ago. One of these videos were, ironically enough, entitled “time to come back”. And then there were two more videos within the same time span, and he hasn’t touched the game since.

And this is kind of the additude that I’m talking about. I read a tweet earlier that summed it up perfectly. About how people never want to watch or come out to support Pokken, and then want to wonder why there aren’t any Pokken tournaments. That game died forever ago. You might even argue that that game was dead on arrival but even if you don’t, then you have to agree that there hasn’t been a game that died out quicker than Pokken did. For all the shit people gave SFxT at least that game lasted a couple of years as opposed to about 3 months. And at least that game had some potential at release, instead of being booted from Japanese arcades Y’all are throwing money at this game and I have no doubt in my mind that it’s going to once again have abyssmal turnout/viewership.

And that’s to me, is the most upsetting thing. That Marvel stands a shot of being robbed by a game that people don’t actually care about, but has a fanbase that will throw money at anything with Pikachu’s face on it. If it were KI, I wouldn’t be super happy, but it would be ok. MKX, kinda upset because I hate that game but you know what, fine. Or even Skullgirls which to me would be best case scenario, if your top two games were SG and Marvel because easily and measurably those two deserve it. Skullgirls is a fantastic game with an ultra dedicated community that only got treated like shit by EVO. I have no doubt in my mind that had SG’s won the last donation drive that game would be one of the biggest in the FGC right now and might even still to this day be a mainstay at EVO. And so if *any* game was gonna be Marvel, I’d wish it to be Skullgirls. But at least I can say of any of the games I mentioned above, people would come out to play it, and support it. In the example of MKX, it would be the exact same people that would be playing Injustice but fuck, at least it’s *someone*.

And I know someone’s gonna be like “well what did you ever do for Marvel?” and yeah, I’ve never been to a major, because I don’t have money like that. But at least every time there is something local for the game, I go out and play. I took time off of work and drove an hour out one time just to get 0-2′d in Marvel on a couple of occasions, but at least I went out there. And I’m out here watching the streams, watching the VoDs; 90% of my “watch later” playlist is Marvel shit that I didn’t get to watch live.

And with that said, yeah I’ll admit that a bit of it is personal for me. Marvel is absolutely my favorite game out there right now. Without Marvel 3 I probably would not care about EVO and the FGC as a whole. But that’s why I don’t want to see it get robbed of a proper sendoff by a game that’s just gonna die out again the minute EVO is over.

[shadowofthelamp]

Behold, some context for this, specifically Bella’s part. I’ll add more when I actually write more about Kit’s bit.

Wordcount: 2075

The second she saw the airship soaring through the red-tinted sky, shooting anything that looked at it funny, Bella knew she had to get inside of it. Let Kit flirt with their host (or, if she was honest, fail to flirt with, man, she didn’t even like flirting and even she knew that he turned into a pile of goopy mush when he was around a guy he thought was cute) and let Vee attempt to kidnap yet another animal to try and smuggle home, she wanted to find out who the heck made a steam-powered airship in the twentieth century.

Or maybe Hell was actually stuck in the year 1900, who knew? Time probably passed funny in the afterlife, but the fact that nobody had shot them out of the sky yet said that there was something else afoot- the pilot had to have some way of warding off attacks considering rivals probably had, like, grenade launchers, and she wanted to find out how. Style merged with substance, ruling the air with confidence- and she wanted in.

“Hey! Hey you!” She flagged down somebody with four arms and purple fur who looked short enough to be less likely to punt her into orbit- Mom had warned that most people down here were mean as, well, Hell- and pointed up at the ship. “What’s the deal with those?”

“You a newly dead?” The demon raised one of their four eyes, and Bella nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, newly dead. Anyway. Story?”

“They’re made by Sir Pentious, one of the Overlords. He’s some kinda inventor, I’unno. Never blew up anything that mattered to me, so I never cared that much.”

“Sir Pentious…” She rolled the name around in her mouth, plucking the ‘T’ in the middle thoughtfully along with the rubber bands wrapped around her braces. “Got it. Thanks!”

“Er- you’re welcome.” They darted off, but that was fine. Now it was just a matter of actually getting onboard.

____________

She couldn’t find a rocket pack anywhere- lousy Hell lagging behind Earth technologically- but ended up stumbling across the next best thing in a warehouse that had an extra ship that had clearly been in some sort of accident. This one was only partially-reassembled, and there was a lot of burn damage sustained to the aluminum and copper outside, but that just meant that she could see the skeleton without having to slice through a lot of layers, so it was almost better- and a lot easier to crawl in one of the big holes in the front window via a pile of parts in front of it.

The interior was decorated like a mansion, with vivid yellows, reds, and blacks- she could respect the commitment to the aesthetic, especially with torn-open snakesheds and red eyeballs plastered everywhere. It looked like something out of Mom’s old comic book collection, toxic and yet intoxicating, every detail chosen for maximum dramatic potential. It must look even better with all the lights on and more than her phone’s flashlight illuminating bits at a time.

It was the best playground that she could imagine- nothing but her and a massive ship the size of an apartment building. Oddly enough, there wasn’t much dust- maybe it had crashed recently and was being held here for repairs? It was certainly of a similar design to the one that she’d seen from the ground, so she couldn’t imagine that it wasn’t just an iteration or two away.

Her fingers ran over the sleek machinery like it was sacred- some of it looked like it belonged in a museum, but the rest was cutting edge, and the seamless way they blended was like something out of a dream. A genius indeed- if she’d been born a hundred years ago and was suddenly thrust into the modern day, she could only hope that her tech would look this good. There was room for improvement of course, there always was, but it was loads better than most of what she saw digging through the junkyard, and a lot closer to the stuff she made with Grandpa Zim using his irken tech. Impressive for someone who’d clearly been dead for some time, considering he’d made enough of a name for himself that some rando off the street knew it.

“Genius inventor, huh…?” Bella pulled out her screwdriver, starting to work on freeing the control panel. It had a touchscreen and levers, what was that about? She had to know what it looked like underneath- did Hell even use cables and wires or was she going to need to drag Kit in to do his magic business here?

It took some doing- whatever had taken this particular ship down had welded the panel into place and it took a crowbar to pry off, ha, take that Venus for saying she ‘didn’t need to bring it’- but eventually she got into the guts of the thing. Sure enough, it was wiring, spiraled all into itself in a knot- it must have gotten all messed up at some point, maybe that was what caused the crash on top of whatever burnt the outside?

She was about to start taking it apart when she heard a pitter-patter behind her.

“I’ve got a gun and I know how to use it, ya know,” she said, rummaging around in her pocket before pulling it out. “Mom insisted I bring the one that can vaporize people since apparently half of you can’t even die the normal way anyway? Bunch of freaks.” Her finger twitched towards the trigger as the pitter-patter became a shadow as the thing scrambled up towards the same hole she’d come in. “I’m warning you, I’m a great shot. Won’t take two to blow your brains out.”

“Whoever you are, bossman says you gotta go!”

It was an egg. Not like some kind of insult, it was literally an egg, and probably a third of her size. It was also wearing a little hand-tailored suit and top hat. She stared down at it, and it stared up at her.

“Who’s bossman?” Bella asked after a few very long seconds of silence.

“You know… bossman!” It blinked. “He doesn’t like people pokin’ around his cool, cool stuff and you tripped the motion sensor. Hey, is that a ray gun?”

Bella’s finger eased off the trigger. “Yeah, it is. It can probably scramble you.”

“Oooh! Fun! Not as good as boss’s, I’m sure, but-”

“Hey, what say you take me to this boss?” Bella crouched down, knowing this was incredibly stupid but also already entirely committed to it. “Then he can decide what to do with me in person.”

“Hmm… alright, but no funny business!” The egg looked her up and down before turning heel, starting to clamor down the pile of parts. She had to hold back a snort when she saw that it had ‘#69’ written on its back.

Some things never changed no matter where you went.

____________

The egg blabbered on all the way back to the ship, mostly about jazz music oddly enough, but soon enough they were nearing a different ship that had settled behind a building. It was either the one she’d seen before or a duplicate, and she felt a shiver run up her spine as she got close- it looked a lot cooler in one piece and lit up bright yellow. Her phone buzzed, and she discreetly pulled it out as the egg launched into a diatribe on the importance of the saxophone. It was a text from her sister.

dolittle 🐭: bells where ARE you

dolittle 🐭: kits distracting clove so I could grab one of those bugdog things but moms gonna be asking how were doing soon, what should I say

Bella thought for a moment before sending back a reply. ‘im checking out that airship we saw earlier. have weapons. ill be fine. meet you back at the cafe later’

dolittle 🐭: be careful ok? know you can handle it but still

Bella smiled a little at that, sending a thumbs up before tucking her phone back into her pocket as they ascended the bridge.

“And then, then he saysss to me, he sayssss- Ah, there you are! Good, good.” She heard him before she saw him, voice booming as he welcomed his hench-egg back. “And what was poking around the warehouse?”

“This, boss!” The egg tugged at her jeans by the knee around the corner before pushing her forward with surprising force. “They said they wanted to see you!”

“Well well well!”

Bella’s antennae twitched as her eyes widened. The man in front of her was a jet black snake, with fangs, a top hat, a bowtie, and eyes on his face as well as nestled on the open space on his chest and hood. Best she could pin from Venus’s nature lectures he was a cobra of some sort, and there was a smug fang-y grin on his face as he slithered up to her, taking advantage of the height that his tail gave him- he’d probably be seven feet easy to Bella’s mere five foot one.

It took her only a moment to shake off her awe. “So you’re the famous Sir Pentious!”

His grin widened. “Ah! You’ve heard of me, little tresssspassser?”

“Obviously, considering I knew your name, right?”

“Er- yes!” He faltered for just a moment, and she went in for the kill.

“Your work’s fantastic, but you really need a way to keep the gutty stuff in order in case of a hit- that’s probably part of why that other ship went down, y’know? But your sense of design and how you mold your century-old designs with the new stuff- it’s fantastic, I just want to cut it all open and see how it works.”

“What did you do?” His hood flared, and she twirled the gun in her hands.

“I only touched the control panel, and your little egg boy got at me before I messed with anything, but I’d give anything for a couple of days working on the interior of this place- I bet I could make it run faster and with less fuel.”

The eye on his hat rolled itself as he narrowed the eyes on his face. “Who are you to come in and think you know better than I about my own shipssss? I should end you right here for your insolence and your trespassing!”

Bella folded her arms, glancing around. “Hmm… far left column, the one with a yellow eye instead of a red one.”

“What about it?” He folded his arms as well, waggling his head. “Are you-”

“It’s welded weird. Something went wrong with the metal when it was being forged, so you put it in the back so you wouldn’t have to look at it. You didn’t want to waste a perfectly good column because somebody screwed up one little part. And that’s just what I see looking around in, like, five seconds- gah!” The end of his tail had wrapped around behind her while she’d been talking, and struck before she finished her sentence, lifting her up to his eye-level with her arms pinned to her sides.

“Little wrench! How dare you?”

“I’m…” Her legs kicked a little, ribs feeling uncomfortably bendy at the moment as his scales pressed against her chest and back. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

His tongue darted out as he hissed, just barely brushing her nose before sliding back into his mouth.

“What do you really want, missy? I don’t like competition, you know.”

“You to let me breathe, for one,” she wheezed, fingers turning to try tickling what she could reach, and his cheek twitched funny before she dropped bodily to the floor, only managing to roll in time thanks to muscle memory from combat training. Thanks, Grandpas. “I really do just wanna see how all your stuff works. The ways I could improve my own inventions if I just could figure out how to blend different functionalities the way that you do…”

“I am quite impresssssive, aren’t I?” He puffed up his chest a bit. “And you have no intention to-”

Bella drew an X over her chest. “Cross my heart. You’re the bossman.”

He looked her up and down. “Hmm. Get back to me when you have a proper uniform and not those ragssss, and I suppose I could show you around a bit, if- if!- you show me something of yourssss.  ”

Bella’s grin slipped into a smirk as she gave a bow. “Bella Donna at your service, then, Sir Penny.”

[survivorkvaloya]

Episode #2: “I Feel Like I Robbed Whoever Gets Reward This Challenge and I Love It“ - Colin

New tribe? With friends on it? And Jules? Let the fucking slaughtering revenge happen! 2 fucking years later I'm COMING for you! She and Brett can't even answer multiple PMs throughout this week but talk hella in the tribe chats. OFF with their heads!

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my first Confessional. So far I've talked to what feels like a lot of people, but I suppose it isn't everyone yet. My original tribe was really great, so it kinda sucks that I'm not with any of them anymore, but it does give me the opportunity to lay back and let some of the mentors do the dirty work (including my own, Ryan). On the original Ersfjorden, I was pretty close with Chelsea and Lily. We were pretty prepared to work together in the case of us losing immunity, and I really hope we get to work together again if the tribes swap or merge. Jack I also had talked with, and we had some cool shared interests, but to be honest, I think he's a threat that I would like to get out of the game. I'm not sure what he got by winning Into the Box but I'm almost certain he got something and I'm salty he didn't tell me about it. Lauren wasn't super active and I was willing to throw her under the bus if we lost, but in the future she could be a good ally because I don't think she plays super aggressively. The second iteration of Ersfjorden doesn't have any of the people I'm super excited about working with (Chelsea/Lily/Quilynn) which worried me originally, but I think my mentor has things under control. He's talked about getting rid of Jules if we have to, which sounds just fine to me, as I've gotten bad vibes from her in the One World chat. Andreas and Danielle also seem to be on our side, so I'm pretty sure we can get the numbers. I'm not sure how easy it would be to explain that move to Lily though since she's Jules' student... I hope she wouldn't hold it against me. Because to be honest, if someone wanted to take Ryan out when I wasn't there to stop them, I wouldn't be super mad. I want the newbies to be in charge - that's my end goal. Anyway, Zoe got voted out, which is slightly disappointing because clearly she wouldn't have been a threat, but oh well. It's nice to know I'm not the first boot. Okay I hope this is long enough. I have to get going on this weird cookie challenge...

WOOOO OKAY SO my ass was just being bored, looking thru the TS wiki, admiring my wiki page and the season page, and OWO WHATS THIS??? A SECRET LINK HIDDEN IN THE COMMENTS ON ONE OF THE TRIBES?? So I click it, right, and its AN IDOL PIECE. I GOT ONE OF THE TWO IDOL PIECES IN THE GAME RN. I feel so accomplished. I didnt even need a clue. Being obsessive pays off huh! anyway with the pieces twist I really wanna find out who has the other piece so we can work together. 

SO I'm telling three people I have the piece. 1. Nicholas bc he's my biggest ally and he's likable, he might know who has the other. 2. JD because she was on my original tribe and I feel like I can trust her, and she had the clue last round so she might have it 3. Brett bc he's my mentor and seems well connected, he might know.

So hi! Sorry I suck and didn't write a confessional until right now. So I should have a lot to say. 1. My OG tribe was lit. Lauren and Jackson killed the challenge and won it for us. I was also shook that I was able to get us a point on that damn cat game. 2. I get along really well with Jackson. Potential FTC partner? Maybe? But also he is a strong player and I may not want to take him to the end. 3 tribe swap. But the HECKIE. I was not prepared but lucky that three people from my OG tribe and I get along well with QuilLynn and Christine is her mentor so I seem to be in a pretty good place on this new tribe. 3. Fuxk the cookie game. I hope our weird strategy of only giving cookies to two people works well. Cause otherwise we are fucked. 4. Gage is on my tribe too and I love him 5. Sad that Jules my mentor isn't on my tribe but I can managed without her I hope. 

after the swap I feel like i'm being very vocal in my tribe and really trying to contribute to our challenge, but I am slightly worried it might rub people the wrong way, specifically the mentors. I don't want them thinking I'm trying to take charge or be a leader, because i'm really not, but at the same time nobody else is really giving anything and we can't just go into every challenge blind. I'm trying to work together some agreement - not necessarily an alliance- between me, willow, gage, chelsea and lily for the time being, but again it isn't something i'm really being vocal about and probably wont be until I know we have to go to tribal. I do want to form a solid 6 alliance of me + willow, chelsea + gage, and nicholas + danielle but again it needs to all happen at the right time, and i'd rather the mentors (aka willow) be the ones that form it. 

Mission 1 of me and my student not being first boot has been accomplished! I'm super happy with the results and I'm interest to see how the swap works out. Everyone here seems super cool and I'm glad me and Lauren are on the same tribe but I'm a little sad to be separated from Ryan and Liam. This challenge is terrifying though, I think QuilLynn came up with an amazing plan but it could all come downhill if someone blabs so I'm hoping that doesn't happen cause I don't feel too confident going to tribal...Everyone's so vocal and then there's me who's like the silent little lamb of the group so I'm a bit nervous but for now I just hope we win.

Ahhhh why does this challenge have to be so difficult. Literally we had a plan all set up and an hour before the deadline Lily wants to change things up and Lauren is nowhere to be seen. I'm? Stressed. 

So our plan for immunity almost got ruined when lily started getting paranoid about it and a bunch of people started to want to change their guesses to 9. In the end it still worked out thankfully and we'll be safe from tribal. Unfortunately we didn't get the reward so no idol piece for me this time. Ryan says that Lauren has it but honestly I don't believe him I mean she could, If she tells me she doesn't have it I wouldn't believer her either its just I don't actually trust any of the 3 that got the clue. I do know that it was in the comments of one of the tribes on the wikia and the last one was in the tribe rules under a link, so next round even if i don't get the clue I'm still going to try to weasel my way around the blog/wikia/tag around the time of the results reveal so hopefully I can snag it. 

I HAVE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. JULES, DON'T YOU DARE THROW MY NAME OUT THERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED IN INDIA AND IT ENDED POORLY FOR THE O T H E R SIDE. YOU'RE GOING.

Round 2

Tribals I've been to: 2/2 

Tribals I wanna go to: 0

This one is a heck of a lot more stressful than the last. I was talking to Jules last night and we kinda collectively agreed that Liam would be a good vote, so I started to spread that around a lil, just to Andreas and Danielle, then within MINUTES, Liam messages me. Someone is a fucking rat. My gut is telling me Danielle but I really wanna work with Danielle so I hope it aint so! I did my best to resolve that issue with Liam, but now Liam and Ryan are hella pushing for Jules. I don't wanna be anymore involved in this than I already am. I already probably accidentally screwed Jules over. Plus I have an alliance with Andreas and JD and they both want Jules gone. It sucks because Jules is genuinely one of my fave people on this tribe and in the game and I don't wanna vote her out, but she doesnt have the votes to stay without someone trying to flip the votes. She's not trying and I can't risk my game for her. Oh well. Rip Jules, fallen queen. 

I'm pretty sure Jules is going. Thank the lord. 

 Liam thinks it was him who got everyone on board. All I've done is plant the seeds since the game has started, and as soon as I heard Liam's name come up in a conversation I told him about it and he went charging into everyone's PMs tryna get Jules out. Love him.

Connor, making big moves, voting out his own student. Game Changers only!

 Also, for the first time in literally ANY main season, I have an advantage. AMAZING. I found a legacy advantage soooo thats cool! I don't know exactly what it means yet, but I most certainly intend to be the one to use it. If I should get voted out, for what ever reason, I think would give it to Christine, and if she's out, Tuna. I have no intentions of telling anyone about it because literally why would I do that

Okay ill try to make this short and sweet because I have tribal soon so. We swapped tribes and ill still with Danielle but she got Ryan now plus their students so that foursome is gonna run things so im just gonna stick on to them and try to vote with them as much as possible. JD, Colin and I made an alliance and its iconic and i actually like them. I'm trying to pretend like im not around and not giving my all into this game and trying to play UTR for the merge but just work on social game which I believe is working. Jules should be going tonight because Ryan wants her out and I dont wanna create waves because the foursome got Liam on board because she wanted Liam so thats a set 5. Connor is joining our tribe and I hope he goes next because I DONT TRUST HIM!!!! Also Colin told me he has an idol piece teehee