#-for him to realize it was the worst mistake of his fucking like mmmmmm yes delicious

[katasstrophy]

Dream anon again! I was curious if you had any questions you associate with your favorite bllk boys btw?? "Honey" by Johnny Stimson makes me deeply think of Bachira in love while the One Punch Man theme song is what I would play personally for Kunigami's intro to a game as his hero theme lmao. Ty for reading!

hi dream anon !! 🥺 (omg so sorry that i took ages with this i was a little swamped with Life™ but i hope you’re doing swell<3)

i’m gonna assume you meant songs ! :) hhmmmm that’s interesting actually, because when i write i just pull up my go to instrumental playlist ‘cause lyrics.... distract me LOL (i try to blame it on the Bilingual Brain but…. 🥹🥹 yeah no i’m not even convincing me with that one) however !!

there have been a few songs (when i was just casually listening) that very insistently made certain bllk boys wiggle in my mind 🤔 ‘the catcher in the rye’ by elephanz to me is just– sae right after he realized he’s stupidly in love with you, but you’ve slipped out of his grasp a long, long time ago now – and he’s terrified he’ll never win you back. terrified to know the thought alone of you not being a part of his life shatters something permanent inside him. (but eventually, after long, thorough, heartbreaking groveling and trail and error, he’ll win you back. and the sweeping joy of it all is worth it in the end<3) nskzjebdbdjdks forgive me that is so specific HELPP. i actually have an embarrassing amount of songs i associate with sae but we’re not gonna talk about that bc i’m not supposed to be in love with him 😤

i think i mentioned this before on here but ‘clown’ by njomza is just absolute peak making kaiser crawl on his knees for you pathetically LOL as he deserves. also – and this is so funny to me to this day – right after the nagireo break up happened in the manga i was just like imagining reo gaslight gatekeep girlbossing through it and blasting ‘mean!’ by madeline the person on full volume like yeah girl you deserve better than him sksjsbbddnjsnsn pls okay shut up river

[feysandfeels]

Which TS songs remind you of the different couples in SJM’s books???

Boy do I ??

You are a blessed soul for asking me this, and know that I adore you. 

There is now a part II to this.

Feysand:

Begin Again: “I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does Is break and burn, and end But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again” Baby Feyre finding that love is not toxic, that love is supportive, that love can be wonderful. “You said you never met one girl who had As many James Taylor records as you But I do” but think of is as “he said he never met a girl who wasn’t afraid of his power, but i do”. Also also “Walked in expecting you'd be late But you got here early and you stand and wave I walk to you” because Feyre’s used to T*mlin’s mediocre ass but Rhys surprised her by being a decent human and treating her with respect, which makes her realize that she was starved for respect and that T*mlin was not giving her what every decent human being should get from the get go from their partner.

Ivy: Feyre slowly falling in love with Rhys, thinking about Rhys in the Spring Court between Night Court visits Also throughout ACOMAF how she battles with her ever growing feelings for the Lord of the Night, while feeling guilty about T*mlin, because they *just broke up*: “Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you” and “I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed He's in the room Your opal eyes are all I wish to see He wants what's only yours”.

End game: I can practically see Rhys singing this in the shower thinking about Feyre, when she decided to work with him and him thinking like “YES THIS HAS TO BE A SIGN”. His reputation precedes him and in rumours he’s knee deep, him and Feyre would be a big conversation, he has enemies, he has heard about her and she has heard about him. He thinks “she’s so dope that he might overdose”. She’s been calling his bluff on all his usual tricks so here’s the truth from his red lips!!!!!

Dress: “Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me Flashback to my mistakes My rebounds, my earthquakes Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me And I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side My one and only, my lifeline”. Need I say more? I think not your honor. 

Call it what you want: “I said you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me?” That’s Feyre’s whole arc, I rest my case.

Nessian: the happiness I feel about the fact that these two are together is just enough to make me smile on a Monday

False God - The song literally opens up saying “We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I'd die for you” HELLOOOO?? NESTA THINKING ABOUT THAT SCENE IN ACOWAR?? but also feeling that she’s unworthy of Cassian and that there is no way in hell that he will love her with all that she is.

Don’t Blame Me - The power of this song lies in the I unapologetic- powerful-full on I give myself to you and I will do it over and over again energy it has. And this is the energy that Nesta has for Cassian (even when homegirl really tries to pretend otherwise lol boo you tried). The “through your love I found salvation” religious aspect of Don’t blame me is Nesta, because through Cassian’s love and presence she found the perspective she needed on herself. Also this book was a religious experience for me. Jesus fuck.

Sparks Fly: From Cassian to Nesta, with love. First of all Cassian would be a diehard swiftie (all of the bat boys for that matter, merch a the concert, what will we do if we get invited to the rep room?? fans. Az woud be like the quiet yet “no, speak one ill word of Taylor and that’s your end, she did nothing wrong she was framed and I have evidence”). Second of all “The way you move is like a full on rainstorm And I'm a house of cards You're the kind of reckless that should send me running But I kinda know that I won't get far” That’s him alright, that’s him knowing that Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and he wants nothing nothing but to be in that storm and live within the force of nature that she is. Thirdly “My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea You touch me once and it's really something You find I'm even better than you, imagined I would be I'm on my guard for the rest of the world But with you I know its no good And I could wait patiently But I really wish you would” 

Elucien: This is an Elucien blog. 

Lover - In all honesty wanted to give this song to Feysand, because they are my main otp and this song is the highest of the high from Taylor, but I can’t deny the fact that this song screams Elucien. “With every guitar string scar on my hand” I think is a beautiful parallel for Elain and gardening, “My heart’s been borrowed, and yours has been blue” this speaks of Gr*yson and Jesminda, “I loved you three summers now but I want them all” that’s Lucien speaking ma’am. “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?”, both of them about the bond. “And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover” we all know Lucien has a mind for dirty jokes and sass and Elain would always save him the sit next to her because he is the one who truly saw her and, in his distance, was the presence she needed while she figured it all out. Finally, The fact that the song has very clear wedding tones I think fits the headcanon, that more than a mating ceremony, Elucien would have a wedding, because it feels like something Elain would feel more comfortable with. 

Treacherous -“I can't decide if it's a choice Getting swept away I hear the sound of my own voice Asking you to stay”..... mmmmmm is this or isn’t it Elain getting closer to Lucien, but still wondering if it’s the bond or her, yet nonetheless surrendering to the fact that she wants him to stay. “This slope is treacherous This path is reckless This slope is treacherous And I, I, I like it” Elain doesn’t want an easy love, to simple do as the bond suggests she wants something that has twigs and branches and where she needs to question herself and truly ask what she wants out of life and this relationship. Also the softness of the melody juxtaposed with the vulnerability, brings a soft rawness that is Elain. 

King of my heart: Neither of them expected to feel like they could love with all the hope and unapologetic free falling feel characteristic of first loves, yet here we are. They rule their kingdom inside the room because they are discovering their feelings for each other away from prying eyes and people that have expectations on how they should work with the mating bond and all that. “Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury” Again, with the love away from everyone, feeling their world shift around what they are starting to feel for one another. “Is the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending With all these nights we're spending” did we say healing arc through love and support an “not expecting anything to come off this, but I just want to see you well” à la sjm?? I THINK WE DID.

Emorie: I’m working with crumbs here, delicious crumbs that will make a delicious emorie cake, but crumbs nonetheless.. I need more and I need it now.

I think he knows - My girl Emerie crushing hard hard haaaaaaaaard on Mor.

Cruel Summer - “I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh) And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard” this is prime PRIME PRIME ANGST, we will get from these two.  

Gwynriel: this is an edit because I'm not a hoe for these two (yet...trust me once I see Az heal this is the tag where you will find me) and I did not know which songs might fit them and then when I posted it I was like WAIT WAIT I KNOW.

Gold rush - Gwyn talking herself out of her crush on Az after finding out about the whole necklace and being like “I don’t want a gold rush”.

Daylight - Az is a Taylor hoe first, spymaster second. She just makes him feel things. But in all seriousness “Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it goI wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love” this is Az healing and being in better place where he can reflect on how he used to relate to love and romantic relationships, he now understands that love is not black and white but golden. He stepped into this notion of love and through it he found a beautiful relationship with Gwyn, he wants to be defined by the love he feels for her and the love he feels for his family, not by the things that haunted him, not by his mistakes, not by his trauma. He is golden, he is daylight, shadows and all he is daylight. 

Az + Elain: As a romantic end game they are not my ship, but I do stand by my pre-acosf position that these two would be really good friends

Out of the woods -  Where we stand after acosf I say that it is not far fetched that they might hook up and then realize that it’s not for them and that experience helps them access a new part of their healing: “They lost each other, but they found themselves”. The anxiety that this song mirrors is the anxiety of them knowing something doesn’t quite *fit* right, that they are both in turbulent times emotionally and this relationship is not giving them the peace they thought it would. They are paper airplanes, because they know that it’s not the right call for where they are in their own journeys if they want to heal properly and that neither will get what they truly want from the other one. The monsters who turned out to be trees, they are in the woods in this relationship, they were built to fall apart.. are all images that speak of the dynamic we could see of them, they try it doesn’t work and then after, when they are in better places mentally they will look back and be like “we dodge a bullet there didn’t we”.

Bonus: His necklace hanging around her neck, the image is clear there and so is the commentary. 

Az + Mor: formerly known as Moriel, the ship that used to reign my heart

Breath - This song is entirely from Az’s perspective once he and Mor talk about, well, everything. This is not how he had planned it, this is not how he wanted this to go, but “people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out, but it’s killing me to see you go after all this time” referencing letting go of the romantic feelings he had for her. They were a crutch for him and now he has to face life and the things that torment him about it, without the protection and comfort his crush on her offered him. “And we know it's never simple, Never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,” regardless of what you all want to think, they do love and know each other but shift in their dynamic will mean an adjustment for both of them... it’s not a clean break. “Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve”, also Idc about what you all think, Az never never never wanted to hurt Mor, if he knew his behavior was in someway affecting her he would have done something, and I think from the aftermath of him going after Eris on ACOWAR we can see that... also this might allude to him actually knowing that Mor is a lesbian and he has tried to make sure she feels safe around him and knows that he has her back agains the whole world if need be, regardless of her lack of romantic feelings for him. 

Feyl*n: honestly who knew there would be so many songs that would fit these two. Such bops for a crappy dude like T*mlin.

Exile - “I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)” He never even tried to learn to read her mind, he never turned things around and she gave so so many signs. The way he looks at Rhys like he’s his understudy, but no sugar he’s the principal actor and you got fired.

Getaway car - and I oop. Because that is essentially what they were both to each other. Feyre needed someone to give her security and financial stability, T*mlin needed someone to break the curse: “It was the best of times the worst of crimes”.

Bad blood - LOOOOOL. They used to be mad love and now they have bad blood.

Tell me why -  Imma just leave a collection of quotes here that well allude to them through the first act of ACOMAF: “I took a chance, I took a shot And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not You took a swing, I took it hard And down here from the ground, I see who you are” Feyre seeing T*mlin for the abusive person that he is, from the ground.. where his behavior put her. Also “I'm sick and tired of your reasons I got no one to believe in You tell me that you want me, then push me around And I need you like a heartbeat But you know you got a mean streak Makes me run for cover when you're around Here's to you and your temper Yes, I remember what you said last night And I know that you see what you're doing to me Tell me why” The if he loved me, why did he do it and the “it’s not a question of if he loved you but how” conversation she has with Rhys.

I could go on and on forever placing all T-Swift songs around acotar characters, but I think this is getting longer than we all anticipated.. or did we? we all know I am not ✨concise✨. Anywho, thanks for sticking around.

Besos!!

BOOOONUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS:

Obviously, Invisible String is for all my mated/soon to be mated boos, and I think Peace is a song that can apply to both Feysand and Nessian from Rhys’ and Nesta’s perspectives respectively. 

[moorehollandplz]

Undrunk :-: T.H.

Authors Note: This slammed into my brain without warning. Based on the song “Undrunk” by Fletcher. Italics indicate voicemails.   If you enjoy my writing please like and reblog! And check out my other stories on my Masterlist.

Summary: Leaving Tom a series of drunken voicemails in one night… two weeks after a terrible break up.

⚠️ Warning: angst, adult themes, drinking, language, mentions of sex and self touching

Word Count: 1930

Tom woke up to the sound of his phone pinging and vibrating, which was alerting him to messages he’d received overnight. Most nights, he kept his phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ so any calls or texts came in silently for him to review in the morning. He sleepily cracked one eye open as he fumbled for the phone. He unlocked it with his thumb and slowly dragged himself into a sitting position. He lazily rubbed his face with his left hand as he looked down at the illuminated screen. First, he checked his private Instagram, the one he used only for his close friends and family. He checked the likes and comments on his recent uploads. Then decided to scroll through his feed a little.

Suddenly, he stopped scrolling, his breath hitched in his throat, and he just stared for a moment. There you were. Arm slung around a mutual friends waist. Red solo cup raised high in the air. A beautiful smile spread on your face, one that told a story of how much fun you were having. You were clearly one sip away from wasted. He checked the date stamp on the photo and saw that it was from the previous night.

Tom noticed that the post had multiple pictures attached, so he sucked in a shaky breath and swiped left on his screen. Again, your smiling face assaulted him. This time you were pouting. But, your eyes were still bright with laughter. Your cup was raised just under your stuck out bottom lip, as if you were about to take a sip when the photo was snapped. He tore his eyes from yours, which he had always found himself getting lost in.

He swiped left again. This one took his breath away completely. It was candid. It was stunning. You were outside around a bonfire with a few others. Everyone around you was laughing and appeared to be having a good time. But, not you. You were staring off into the distance. Your eyes were glassy as if you had been crying. Your cheeks were pink. Your hair had been blown slightly forward so some pieces were in front of your face.

Tom found himself wondering what you were thinking. What had made you cry. Even though, he knew the answer. Even though, he wasn’t supposed to care. Not anymore. He shook his head trying to loosen his thoughts and closed his Instagram app. Having had enough of the memories of you and that night two weeks ago.

He decided to stay off his other social media accounts. He really couldn’t take anymore pictures of you popping up in his feeds. So, his eyes settled on the green phone icon. His eyes widened at the number in the little red bubble next to it. Eight. He opened the phone app and saw he had four missed calls and four new voicemails. All from you. He covered his mouth to stifle a groan and he looked to his right at the naked body of the woman he’s been trying to fill the void in his heart with for the last week.

He slowly shifted out of his bed and tip-toed out of the room. He closed the door behind him softly, definitely not wanting to wake her up. He moved silently through his quiet apartment. He plopped down on the couch in the living room and he let out a huff of air that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

He closed his eyes and clicked the first message.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

2:37 am

“Tom? Uh… hey. It’s me… I don’t even know why I’m calling. I’m veeeeery drunk. Hahaha… I’m at Bryan’s party. I only came, because they said you couldn’t make it. Why did I say that? Ugh… I should really go home. This party has been… over for a while now. Every… everyone important is either passed out or gone. But…. but I’m scared of being… sober. Sssssssth… ow! I just got lime juice in a paper cut from work! You don’t need to know that. Shit that burns… but not…. not as bad as thoughts of you… (mumbling)... Yeah? Oh… shots? Out by the fire? Coming! Yeah I’m on the phone… no it’s no one… just someone I used to know….”

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Silence. Tom’s finger hesitated over the delete button. He shouldn’t be listening to these. To you. After what you did, he should hate you. He needed to hate you. But, he loved you so deeply and he just couldn’t stop himself. He passed over the delete button and pressed the next message, instead.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

2:51 am

“(Sniffle) T… Tom… It’s… me… (sniffle) I’m sitting on a bed. I’m… not sure (sniffle) where I am. I think I’m still at… (sniffle) Bryan’s. It’s dark. My clothes… I don’t know where (sniffle) they are… I think I… I made a mistake. I don’t remember. God my head… (Gasp) He moved. Please don’t wake up. I need to… to get out of here. But… (sniffle) I don’t want to… turn on the light. I don’t want to see who… who it is. (Shifting) I wish I could see you... I want to come over… (sniffle) oh fuck… (sob) that’s weird to say… especially after… And I know… (sob) I know… she’s there. Of… course… she is! (Loud bang) FUCK! Oooowww… (Mumbling) Oh… no… I’m fine... I think… yea I’m just gonna head home. No no no… I’ll find my way. I’ll call an Uber. Hahaha… please no… don’t. Just go to sleep. I’ll be fine. I always am. (Door click) I need a shot.”

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Silence. Tom felt his heart break all over again. He couldn’t believe you had called him after having just had sex with someone. He felt tears stinging his eyes. But, he refused to let them form. He shook his head and thought about not continuing. Sure, this was only going to get worse. He wasn’t sure his heart could take anymore of this. But, he needed to hear the rest. He needed to hear your voice. He hung his head as he pressed the next message.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

3:34 am

“Tom… hi… me again. I’m sorry I keep calling, but I hate being alone…. and drunk. All I do is look at all the old pictures of you. You know the ones you sent me. The ones from Venice. I should have deleted them, I know. I'm sure you deleted the ones I sent you… so she wouldn’t find them. I get it. But, i just can’t seem to let go of them. Mmmm… I find myself getting… you know… aaah… and I just can’t… mmmm… let them go…. not yet…. Ooooh… This… this is my… ha… ha… secret… aaaah… crazy right? Hahaha! Oooh... Mmmmm… Tooom… Ha… Ha… mmmmm… I… ah… ah… ooooooh mmmmm…. Tommy… Pleeeeaaase! I’m so close…. Ha… ha… yes… aaaaah! I’m… I’m… cu...mmmmmm… cumming! TOOOOM!! (Heavy breaths) Sorry… I shouldn’t have done that. (heavy breaths) I… I’m hungry.”

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Silence. Toms jaw hung open and he stared blankly ahead at what he had just heard. You had been touching yourself. To pictures of him. You had called out his name as you reached your high. He felt his boxers tighten a little. And, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about you when he was with her. But, he would never admit that he hadn’t deleted his photos of you either. He hadn’t looked at them once since that day. But, he still had them. Just in case. In case what? He had no idea. Tom blinked and looked back down to his phone. One left. He took a deep breath. And pressed the final message.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

4:22 am

“Oooow shit … Tom…uh hey it’s me again. You probably won’t even listen to this. Not after the others… which to be honest, I don’t even completely remember what I’ve said to you. But… I just hurt myself… no not on purpose. I’m still pretty wasted… and I shouldn’t have tried to make spaghetti… but I’m just so hungry…. I dropped the… the pot on my foot. The boiling water… ooooow… splashed on my leg… FUCK!! It burns! Hahaha! But… not as much as… as these never ending thoughts… thoughts of you and that… that day…………………..(Silence)............................ (glass shatters)... FUCK!... (Glass shatters)... AAAAAAAH!!! (Heavy shaky breaths) Tom…. (sniffle) I can’t do this…. (sob) I can’t function…. I can’t… (sniffle)... these two weeks… have been… (sniffle) the absolute worst! (Sob)... I’ve been bouncing… bouncing through every emotion… (sniffle) I seem to have settled… into sad… (sob) and broken… like… (sniffle) these bottles… these empty bottles… I just… (sniffle) threw on the floor. I should…(sniffle) clean them… up, but… but I’m too drunk to care… (sob)... I deserve this. I know that. (Sniffle) I ended us… (sob) that night, I know that. I… (sniffle) wish… wish I could undo it! Undo it all! (Sob)... I wish I could get undrunk that night… (sniffle)... so I could un-lose my temper…. Haha.. I don’t even… (sniffle) remember what we fought about. (Sob)... I wish I could… (sniffle)... wish I could un-kiss that room full of strangers. (Sob)... I did that just to hurt you… and I’m so… (sob)... sooo fucking sorry! Fuck! (Sob) Haha… I wish could be undrunk right now… (sniffle) so I could un-call you! And I wish… wish that night… no… our first night... (sob)... that I could un-fuck you… then this… (sob) never would’ve happened, because… we never… (sob)... never would have been… (sniffle)... i wish… I wish (sniffle)... I could… I could un-love you… (deep breath)... but some things just can’t be undone… (sigh).. and one of those… (yawn) things is… you. (Silence)...... (light snoring)”

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Tom felt the tears falling down his face. But, he didn’t care. You had just ripped his heart out. These messages were the first time you had made direct contact since that night two weeks ago. You had never tried to apologize. Not until now. He felt his insides twist, and all he wanted to do was go to your place. He wanted to see you. To scream at you. Tell you how bad you had hurt him. How you tore him apart that night. He wanted to hold you. Let you cry into his chest until you had nothing left. He wanted to forgive you. He wanted to carry you to bed and make sure you were okay. This whole time he thought he was the only one who was in pain. But, you were too. Tom felt his chest tighten. The need to run back to you was overwhelming.

“Tom?” Her voice from the hallway broke his spiraling train of thought. His head shot up and his eyes found hers. Soft and gentle. And he felt a rush of calm through his body. That’s why he was with her now. She grounded him. Kept him level. “Are you okay?” She asked and Tom’s eyes dropped back down to his phone.

“Uh… yeah… “ he lied as he stared at the voicemails. “Well…” he rubbed his cheeks with the back of his free hand to rid himself of his tears. “I will be.” He hit delete all, and dropped his phone on the couch. He stood up and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around her and she was quick to return the gesture. “Let’s go back to bed.”

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