#-encounter. And I didn't want to keep it biased by only going off of my input

[sampoststuff]

Hey there! It's been a while since I've engaged with the Road 96 fandom, but I made a form not too long ago about the character encounters (basically, which one is your favorite and why). I am using the results for a video I'm working on, since the game is coming up to it's second year anniversary. I'd appreciate if anyone wants to fill out a form!

[lesbiansforboromir]

Anyway um. The general narrative position of Orzammar in Veilguard makes me want to throw up blood <3

And like the argument can of course be made that it is being percieved through a very biased lense, Kal-Sharok has held this grudge for nearly a thousand years now and therefore obviously are going to percieve themselves as the more morally pure culture in comparison. And Lace is a surface dwarf who really knows nothing about Orzammar except for the discrimination she has encountered when interacting with it. Okay, sure, Dragon Age has always somewhat awkwardly attempted to be an entirely unreliable-lore tale, nothing can be taken without a grain of salt etc etc.

So I suppose my main grief and agony is more with the DECISION to make these people the only ones who get to say anything about Orzammar in this, the final reveal of the true crushing extent of the Dwarven tragedy!!!! I have spent literal decades within the understanding that Orzammar is living on borrowed time, like pretty much every codex entry written by a dwarf about themselves mentions the 'long struggle' that will eventually be lost, the darkspawn will someday claim Orzammar too and with nothing of the Deep Roads left to conquer they will finally surge to the surface and begin the endless blight. Orzammar was made the unwilling blockade for the surface against the darkspawn.

And now we find out?? That the thing that was going to be the death of them, that has been eating away at the dwarven people for millenia, the cause of a thousand thousand horrors and griefs and terrible choices and screams in the lonely dark- That was the very thing they were begging to protect them!!! Stone protect me, Stone keep me, Stone's blessings to you, she encircles us and we must protect her here where darkness meet's light- but they were not protecting her!! And she wants them all to be consumed by the tide of her righteous retribution, for forgetting her, for using her, for building their civilisation upon the wreckage of her and leaving her trapped and alone in a purgatory between life and death, between existence and absence, cut off from they who made her whole and yet they thrive and she is left behind.

But they didn't know! They don't remember! All the dwarves have been doing for generation upon generation is unconsciously trying to clumsily recreate that lost soulful feeling of being part of a cohesive whole, Solas literally calls them 'the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood' (biting him biting him biting him b-) but the point is they were also traumatised by the loss and have spent ages and ages just trying to figure out how to exist without like... THEIR CONTEXT!! Their dreams!! Like Dwarves ARE STILL part of the Titans, evidenced by the fact that when the Titans lost their dreams so did all the dwarves, even those born post the calamity, they just are disjointed, disassociated!!!

... But Orzammar is just a stupid, hidebound, oppressive, politically-putrified, 'immoral' city of people whose perspective on all this is ergo completely superfluous, uninteresting and unimportant. And Kal-Sharok (who are just sooo morally pure they're making all the GOOD choices and don't have any prejudice in them at all and their own tragedies only drove them towards good things so I guess it was good Orzammar cut them off after all???) Well they apparently already know most of it anyway and they're ready to move on and grow and learn and it's all just so neat and clean and no dwarf who venerates and loves the Stone has any catastrophic or ugly feelings about this whatsoever! Orzammar APPARENTLY doesn't even care so yaaay how cool wow that's so cool an entire culture just doesn't care about their religion and it's origin? They just don't care? Haha! They just don't care! They're probably even suppressing it for evil oppressive reasons, completely ignoring the fact that even the Casteless have a relationship to the stone, wow! That's so compelling haha! I hate it when societies have to actually struggle with something or when religion is important to people, booo imagine... imagine......

[fandomworld9728]

The Life of the Morningstars - Chapter 18:

Oh, how lucky Alastor was! Lucifer had grabbed his hand before Charlie could, not wanting to undermine her decision but did not want her to shoulder this burden. With that, the deal was sealed. The King of Hell owing him a favor! However, one question was constantly on Alastor's mind. Why didn't the King just demand the answer?

Alastor would get his answer later. Right now, he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. They had more important matters to see to.

~

"Any luck, dad?"

"Not yet. I'm still trying but I'm this close to just ripping up the treaty." 

The people drinking and enjoying their last few hours before the battle stopped and looked over at the king. He knew what they were going to ask. It was the same as everyone else. Why did he allow the Exterminations in the first place?

"Okay, look. I've gotten a lot of shit for this in the past so listen up. Lilith was trying to create an uprising against Heaven. I didn't want that. Heaven used to be my home... my family was there. Along with all those innocent souls. That's the only reason they wanted some form of treaty and I only agreed to the Exterminations because I had to protect Charlie. I was backed into a corner. But... now she's all grown up and has all of you. I think it's time for this treaty to end."

"Yes! Way to go dad! Don't let them use anything or anyone against you."

"Yeah, short king. Stick it to the man!"

"I knew that night out with us would do ya some good."

Popping up in the middle of the group, Sir Pentious raised his glass to lead a toast. "Here's to being alive today and not dying tomorrow."

Taking the drink offered to him, Lucifer joined in the fun with a small smile. He loved his new, little family. This moment was so... perfect. He should have come here the first time Charlie had asked him to. Maybe then things would have gone differently, and he wouldn't be at risk of losing more people he cared about.

Watching the group from a small balcony with Niffty, Alastor couldn't keep the soft, fond smile off his face. "The celebratory night before a courageous last stand. It's been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection. Almost makes one sentimental, eh, Niffty?"

"I really like them, Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing."

"Ah, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit, one could get accustomed." Especially to a certain father daughter pair. Did he use his knowledge to his advantage against them? Yes. But that's what he did with everyone. They could hardly hold it against him. Even if he wasn't fond of alpha fathers, watching Lucifer over the past few days had unfortunately started changing Alastor's view on the small man.

What really set that change in motion had been the way the fallen angel had protected Angel Dust and Niffty. Not only that, but the way he allowed her to climb him and treated her with care even with how uneasy he had been around her at first. It had the radio demon rethinking all of their encounters since they first met. What an odd little man that had captured Alastor's interest.

Feeling something in his hair, Alastor looked up to see a crown of twigs and dead roaches on his head. Courtesy of the small cyclops woman now on his shoulder. "I dub thee, King Roach."  

"Oh, to understand your twisted little mind."

Watching the two laugh, Lucifer couldn't help the fond smile on his face. Sure, Alastor was a creepy, manipulative asshole, but he wasn't the worst person he had ever met. Though, he could be biased. No. He definitely was biased. Lucifer wasn't going to think too much or too hard on it. He could come back to those thoughts on a different day.

Right now, the king had to help his snake friend with his love life. Pushing the sinner forward, he gave the guy an encouraging smile and thumbs up. Poor Pentious needed this win. 

"Uh... Miss. Bomb? Cherri?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to you tell you that I... I love..."

That's it! You got this! Just one more word and you got your confession out there!

"I'd love to wish you good luck in the battle ahead!"

Dammit Pentious! You almost had it! No. He could still save this attempt. Plus, Lucifer and Angel would still wingman for him after he left.

"You are- h-have always been a worthy opponent. With the most brilliant explosive contraptions I've ever seen."

"Uh... thanks?" Look at that smile! He had her! 

"Anyway, I guess please don't die tomorrow! Okay, bye!"

Fuck! He ran away! So close... Sighing, Lucifer stood on either side of the punk girl with Angel.

"You know, you could totally tap that."

"Stop being gross."

"Cause, y'know, i hear he's got two dicks."

"I know he has two dicks." Lucifer's face fell as soon as that comment left his mouth. Flushing gold, he didn't look at the two sinners. He was never going to hear the end of this. "Before you say anything! It was just two friends helping each other out!"

~

Alastor wasn't too thrilled about what he overheard. Lucifer? With that idiotic, pathic snake? Another thing he couldn't wrap his mind around. However, that wasn't what was important at the moment. Stopping the king on his way back to his room, he was going to get some answers. "Majesty."

"Oh. Hey Alastor. What's up?"

"...Huh... I figured you'd be more upset about being tricked into a deal."

A few beats of silence passed between them before the King of Hell had dissolved in a fit of laughter. "Y-You think- ha! You think that you tricked me into a deal? Oh, that's just fucking priceless."

His smile turned tight and painful on his face. "Care to explain what you mean by that?"

"You may have backed Charlie into a corner, but I knew your game from the very beginning."

"Then why didn't you just demand the answer from me?"

"Would you have given me the information if I did?" Alastor's silence was all the fallen angel needed. "Probably not without a fight and we didn't have time for that. Not to mention, it's Charlie's call on the matter. There's also the fact that even after that manipulation stunt you pulled, she still trusts you and cares about you. But I didn't properly teach her about this stuff with how things ended up. So, the least I could do was take the deal in her place."

Lucifer... was a good dad. And Alastor was a fool to ever think otherwise.

"Oh, and I figured out why you don't like me. You thought I was some sort of shitty alpha father, right?"

"That is correct. Why?"

The amused look on the king's face surprised the sinner, but not as much as what came out of his mouth next. "I'm an omega."

"...You're a what now?"

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[crocswithoutsocks]

High Roller First Impressions

Just finished my first High Roller fight so I'm going to ramble about it for those who want to listen. If you want to go in completely blind like I did then, BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Just for a little bit of context so you can understand where I'm coming from, I'm a puny little 59 laff toon at the beginning of the Mezzo Melodyland taskline, and the only kudos manager I've fought so far is Brian. I haven't seen footage of any fights I haven't fought/naturally encountered yet (I like going into things blind) but I know of and about all of the other managers from art, memes and fanfiction. With that out of the way, let's begin the ramble of a lifetime! I'm going to yap a lot here and also probably go off on a cople tangents, so be warned.

First off, my toon's big head was in the way for half of the low ballers' introduction, so I missed like half of it (caught up through chat though, horray for chat!). I love how you can't refuse the invitation to join the high roller fan club, that's very silly and goofy and seems totally in character for these silly little ducks. I'm usually not keen on games forcing your hand regarding choices, UNLESS it's for the bit, which this totally qualifies as! Anything with comedic value automatically gets a big thumbs up from me. (As a sidenote, I also like when games manipulate the availability of free choice for the bit. Like, in super paper mario where the game straight uo just kills you if you agree to join the bad guys. I didn't think it would let me, and then it did, and then I died and the outcome made me laugh.) Also! I like that in the chat instead of being classified as "toon" or "cog", the low ballers are "silly". They're silly little guys! Upon teleporting to Dave's theare, I was met with a massive group of people (as expected given the game had only gone back up about 10 minutes prior) which provided an excellent atmosphere for the fight. I flung myself at those cog sigls, not caring who else I was going into that fight with as we all shared the same goal: Defeat the stupid gameshow duck. (As another sidenote, any time I call anything stupid, silly, goofy, wacky or anything else similar, I mean them with the utmost respect and praise! They are all positive and affectionate!)

Incidentally, no one on the team I went into the fight with had ever fought High Roller before, which i think probably added to the chaos and overall experience of the fight. No one had any idea what they were doing.

As previously mentioned, this was my first time seeing Dave in game. I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HIS VOICE SOUNDS. ITS LITERALLY JUST PIANO KEYS SMASHING TOGETHER THATS SO FUNNY. As usual, I couldn't understand a word he said (the fact that I have the reading level of a middle schooler combined with the fact that I'm a slow reader made it very hard to keep up) BUT THEN BUCK SHOWED UP AND STOLE THE SHOW! I may be incredibly biased towards Buck due to the fact he's my (current, subject to change) favourite manager, but he is literally the epitome of silly and goofy during this cutscene. The fact that he enters by dropping from the ceiling, fumbles his introduction, runs in front of the stage like a gremlin only to somehow get himself on top of a giant anvil (I love the comedy anvil), spawns next to dave and randomly rotates for a few seconds to funky music before doing a full on FUSION DANCE with Dave to form high roller. What more could you want from a guy? The toons walking in on the wall instead of the floor was funny too (I assume that's meant to happen and not a bug lol) AND I would like to give a special shoutout to the audience as well! It was nice seeing all of the other managers all together, some of them sat together (Flint and Graham, of course, Chip and Spruce, Bell and Ben the gossip girls, Cosmo and the satelites, the ENTIRE litigation team etc.) Poor Misty is sat by herself, and Mary seems to be swimming in her seat rather than actually sitting in it. It was also cool to see Count Erclaim (and (presumbly) Count Erfit hiding in the back), since I've never seen them in game before. Big mention of course also goes to William and Rain sat together at the front. Gotta wonder how that happened, but either way it's really nice to see! This is all probably old news to anyone who knows the fight, but it brought me a lot of joy! Also, the fact that there was a big sign saying the entire event was non-canon made it even funnier.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING TOONTOWN! - High Roller is LOUD, and I cacked at the absolute cacophony of duck and piano noises that came out of this guy's mouth. He's hot shit, and he knows it. (I am assuming here that the phrase 'hot shit' is positive and not negative, please assume so as well.) The fact that he's level 100 as well??? If he ever decided to quit his career of being silly and goofy and also a gameshow host, he could probably win the war for the cogs single handedly. And also maybe if he existed outside of april and was also a canon entity. His animations are also so fun and expressive, like, this thing does not walk anywhere. He either slides with no expression on his face or he FROLIKS. The silly hat with the ducks too, I like that a lot!

Okay, now onto the actual fight. Finally. It took me and my team about an hour and 10 minutes to beat it. I'm assuming that's not the length of time an average high roller fight takes, and I'm also assuming that it took that long due to the fact that none of us knew what we were doing. I really liked the trivia questions, those were a lot of fun! It made me feel like knowing all of the lore that's been eating my brain for the last month was totally worth it, even if I only knew the answer to one out of the two questions asked. I didn't really get the puzzle bit at first, and then I figured out how to actually look at the board and then I did get it and it was okay. I probably would have liked it more if I'd gotten to do more of them after I got the hang of it, given I only got to do the one puzzle. I liked shuffle as well, that was a nice break from all the thinking in the fight. The actual fighting part was pretty stressful, and I think that's the most I've ever had to think in a toontown battle. I'm assuming that most of the kudos managers are like that though (requiring more thinking, I mean) and that its more a me having not progressed that far through the game thing and less a this is a particulary brain-useage heavy fight. Also, can we talk about how if you haven't defeated all of the cogs at the end of the fighting portion, HR just snaps his fingers and disintegrates them??? Like, as if they were hit by a strong zap gag disintegrated. Did he kill them? Are they dead? Have we just witnessed multiple cog-v-cog murders????? I know high roller isn't technically canon, but it's interesting to think about. My only small gripe about phase one of the fight was that it could have been a little longer. We only got to spin on the roulette wheel like four times, and in my head that was one of the main gimmicks of the fight that I didn't get to see very much of. On the other hand though, the fight did take like a whole hour, so it really probably doesn't need to be any longer. I'm sure I'll be very greatful for the shortness of the first phase when I'm grinding for the low baller sticker later.

I don't really have much to say about the second phase. It felt quite like an interlude between the first and third phases, which I think worked quite well. Just a classic battle, no chaos, (relatively) no gimmicks, just me, Mr Hollywood and the piano that I'm about to drop on his head. Another thing I did really like about this fight was the fact that I, a relatively low level toon with no drop track, got to drop pianos on people and pelt them with wedding cakes. That made me feel very powerful, especially when I was taking down level 25 cogs. Another really small detail but something I really liked in this fight, when you use the stagelight zap gag the lights above the Mr Hollywood you're aiming for go out, like the stagelight actually fell on them. Thats super duper neat and I love it a lot. One of the people in my party also said that the music for this section uses a theme from Dave's fight, so I'm going to have to trust them on that! If so though, that's really neat, and makes sense given this bit in particular is an omage to Dave's fight. I love leitmotifs very very much. I also found it very funny how HR introduced the Mr Hollywoods as the Dave Brubot Quartet, and then only three of them showed up. That ain't a quartet buddy. I've realised now that it's because Dave himself is in the quartet, and thus missing from it, but it's still funny to me.

And then the third stage of the fight is CARNAGE. ABSOLUTE CHAOS. High Roller's cool-pose-into-hollograms-quick-change-into-a-different-colour-suit move was only the beginning of the massacre about to happen (and was really cool). This part of the fight made my game lag, but thats probably because a. my computer is a potato and b. I was screen-recording the fight. The atmosphere in this section went crazy though, with the darkness and the coloured lights totally making the hollograms and HR look way more awesome. AND THE MUSIC!!! THE MUSIC GOES CRAZY HERE!!! THE GUITAR AND THE CHIMES AND THE SYNTH AND JUST WOOOOOOW. It captures the absolute carnage and chaos of the third phase in a way so perfect that words cannot properly describe. It was like WOWOWOWOWOW and made my brain go like bzzwzzbzzzwowowo and AAAHHHHHHHH. And then the guitar leaves and the music calms down and goes back to going bwow bwow and it feels like you can finally breathe again. This was also the part of the fight that absoluelty fried my brain. Having to think about which gags to use, whether or not to use my pip dice, keeping track of my pips (although I never really ran out) and then the different effects of all the holograms? Madness. We ran out of time a lot, used the wrong gags a lot and took a lot of unnecessary damage in return. Wanna trap the yellow hologram? Can't do that, the red one will damage you if there's trap gags on the field at the end of the turn. Oh, that's fine, we'll just lure the yellow one, activate the trap and it'll be fine. Sorry, the green one just gave the yellow one lure resistance and now there's still a trap on the field. That's a bar on the head for you, loser. And also high roller is going to drop a cruise ship on your head (I think the free cruise attack is really funny, by the way. It's like a twist on classic gameshow stuff, which I know is the point but it's still awesome). That's one of the reasons why I felt like playing with a group who had never fought high roller before was better, because no one could really get mad at anyone else for doing the wrong thing, given we were all doing the wrong thing all the time. They were also just nice people, which helped. When we finally got rid of all the holograms, it was such a relief and we were all raring to go and finally go all out on HR. So we did that. AND THEN THE HOLOGRAMS CAME BACK. WE THOUGHT WE WERE WINNING! So we took down the holograms again. We were only a couple HP off killing the red one, which then accidentally killed itself with a bar which was pretty funny. Then HR also dropped a dice on his own head which added to it. The Ace in the hole attack was absoluetly a shock. I wan't paying proper attention, so suddenly there was just this GIANT High Roller head that looked like it was going to eat me and I've been crushed by a giant card and I've no idea whats going on. Going thorugh my head mostly was: " WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT? ????????? SIR????? HELLO???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? WHAT IS HAPPENING???". A lot of that, and then he's back to throwing dice and cruise ships at us. We're finally got our act together by now so after two more rounds of holograms High Roller FINALLY goes down at the hand of the almighty final blow dealing cupcake.

He got right up in my space and said I was "top banana", which I'm assuming was a complement but also maybe just because I was a yellow, vaugely banana shaped gator. The credits came out of nowhere and made me laugh, because that's so stupid and in character. Shoutout to the last remaining con artist with a job (being Foley Artist, I don't know what that is) and Flundger the "Drip Meister". I aspire to one day have a title as cool as that. Also to the pencil pusher who won 500 high roller sticky notes :) good job buddy! ALSO THE END NOTE AT THE END OF THAT FIRST CREDITS SECTION?? AS MANY FLUNKIES AS POSSIBLE WERE HARMED DURING THE PRODUCTION OF THIS EPISODE??????? WHERE ARE THE FLUNKY RIGHTS?????? And then High Roller gets hit by a cruise ship and honestly, thats what they get for dropping like 17 of them on me. Deserved. One of my party was stuck saying "YES!" during this section which made it look like they were cheeing for Roller's demise which was particularly amusing. I got crushed by the comedy anvil, it all went very well.

So overall, my thoughts on this fight were that it was INCREDIBLE! I think everyone should play it, or at least give it a try. One of the things I really, really like about it is that its accessible to everyone, no matter how good/bad/new at the game you are. It means that I can at least try to convince my non-toontown friends to play it with me. Out of the tutorial, into the high roller fight, baby! This especially, since HR is only avaibable once a year and unlike FTF (I don't see myself being strong enough to play that one before the end of april) I actually get to play it and enjoy it, with everyone else. I also got to try out some new gags that I wouldn't really see myself getting to use otherwise (piano), and that was a lot of fun! Overall, very very fun, very silly, very goofy, 10/10 would fight again, will probablu fight at least 11 more times because I want that sticker. I'll have to see if my opinion changes after that. Hopefully they won't all take me an hour.

Anyway! That was. A lot of words. If you made it all the way down here, thank you very much for listening to my spiel! It means a lot! Have a virual cookie, or something to that extent. Maybe a duck? Either way, I really need to go to bed. I'm sleep deprived and very very tired. This is Sir Biscuit Weaselchomp, Curious Creature, signing off! Happy April Toons!

[meritatem]

Look, Selina is smart. Brilliant. An artist in her field, capable even of outsmarting Batman when the opportunity arises. She has enough skill and knowledge to maneuver the day-to-day in this cursed city, to not only survive but to thrive.

She knows all the rules of this game, she's alive because she knows how to play it well. So why, oh, why is she letting this unknown kid into her apartment without stopping to think about how much of a bad idea this is? She's blaming Jason Todd for this; it's true that her life was a bit in disarray before her encounter with Jason, but she's choosing to put more fault into him because he had to mess with her while wearing a Batman suit, so the personal offense feels warranted. Besides there's not much she can do when the kid actually knows where she's staying at the moment, only worsen by the fact that he calls her by her name - or well, last name - as soon as they get inside. It's not like she had doubts about the kid being adjacent to Batman in some way, not with all the kevlar and the expert roof surfing, but she wasn't expecting him to actually know things. Maybe this is a sign that she needs to step away for a little while, you know? To rest, heal and all that jazz.

Damian, of course, doesn't have time to wait for Selina to sort her internal conflicts, so he just takes the throw pillows from her couch and makes a little nest for the kittens on the floor, depositing them carefully in it and putting the cape back almost in one fluid motion, he then turned around and without waiting for Selina, went directly to the kitchen, prompting her to finally react.

“Where do you keep the dishes?” He asked even though he was already opening the cupboards. “And what kind of food do you have? They look old enough for something else besides milk.”

“Hold on,” and acting like this wasn't not unusual at all, she took off her goggles off and left them in the counter, tapping with her hand in passing one of the cupboards. “The bowls are there.”

Selina didn't have a cat of her own but she had the habit of feeding the stray cats that sometimes visited her balcony, so she had more than enough cat canned food, even if said food was more suitable for adult cats but going to the pet store wasn't an option at the moment, so for now it'll have to suffice. As soon as she poured the food into a bowl, Damian seized it, hurrying back to the cats while she took off her cowl, leaving it in the same place as her goggles before running her fingers through her hair, shaking it. For a moment she considered that maybe a glass of rum was in order, I mean, it was past two in the morning and she had an unnamed vigilante child sitting cross-legged in her living room, happily helping some kittens to eat from a feeding bowl that was a bit big for them... that surely entered in the territory of “I need alcohol for this”, but that also seemed exactly like not the thing to do with a kid present, especially when said kid apparently knew all her secrets.

“So,” she started, like she was continuing with a previous conversation. “What's your name?”

“No One.” He answered like he did that first time when he met Colin again. “That's what I go by.”

“Really? Sounds a little uninspiring.”

“I won't take criticism from someone calling herself Catwoman.”

“I hope you have this opinion for Batman too.”

“Batman is a simple and evocative name, easy for the vermin to remember and cower to. It's not the same.”

“You're biased because he's your boss.”

“He's not my boss, I answer to no-one but myself.” Which was a lie, because he did ask for Pennyworth's authorization for some things, but Kyle didn't need to know that. 

In the course of the conversation, Selina started to move in the kitchen after finally deciding that tea would be best, maybe with some luck it'll really help her relax; seeing the situation she was in, seemed doubtful but it was worth a try.

“Do you want some tea?” She asked out of politeness, even if there was nothing polite about this.

“I'd accept hot chocolate, if you have it.”

“Sorry, dear, not at this time. How about milk with honey?”

“No, thank you.” He said, turning his nose with disdain.

Selina was sure this was the first time she hear someone showing so much contempt at the simple mention of milk. It was kind of funny coming from a child that definitely needed the calcium.

“So,” she said again. “How did you end up as Batman's associate?”

“By misfortune.”

Yeah, no, on a second thought she's not going there. “Ah, don't we all? It's always like that when he's involved, isn't it?” And there was a sense of nostalgia in her words, but it was only momentary. “But enough of this, let's talk about what are we going to do with these kittens,” that had to be a safer topic, right? “What was your plan? I'm sure you weren't thinking about breaking into my place before I found you.”

“I was going to temporally house them until I found a proper place for their reallocation.”

“Not adopting one yourself, uh?”

“I'm not in a position to care for an animal at the moment.”

With everything that was happening in his life, acquiring a new army of pets wasn't an immediate priority for Damian, that aside, he still had the intention of locating his old four-legged friends, if possible, so what was a little more of solitude after so many years of it?

“What is your protocol for cat rescuing?”

Selina wasn't a fan of the implication that this meant No One knew enough of her to know that she, in fact, was on the habit of saving furry critters from the streets when able. It wasn't like she actually believed a kid could be a terrible threat to her wellbeing, at least not one that claimed to be bat aligned, but it was unsettling that someone she never saw before had so much information, so clearly next time she saw Tim she'll have to ask him what was this all about.

She took out the cup she put in the microwave - with tea bag and sugar included - and made her way to the couch, letting the cup over the coffee table so she could get her boots off. It has been a long night, alright? Selina definitely was past caring about keeping appearances in her own home, intruding child or not.

“Just the usual, I feed them, take them to the vet if they need it and I drop them later at the shelter.”

“What shelter?”

“The one in Gillams Avenue.” 

Selina chose to name that one because it was the one closer to her current location. In truth, Selina favored the one she personally sponsored, but she wasn't going to offer more information about her life, god knows what else de kid knew already.

“Paw Friends has allegations of animal mistreatment. Management says the issue has been resolved but I remain doubtful, I would recommend the one in Holroyd Close instead, at least until I verify the administration's claims.”

“Oh-ho?” she expressed melodically. “Is this your thing then? The big bad bat saves people, so you save animals?”

“I've broken bones bigger than yours.”

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped from her, here she was worrying about her secrets being in possession of a child with undisclosed intentions, while said child seemed more invested in dealing with animal welfare.   

“Now, now, there's no need to be mean, we're practically on the same side here.”

“As if, we share very little in common. You don't even know what side I'm on.”

“Well, go on, enlight me.”

“My own, obviously.”

“See? That's something smart we can agree on.”

There was a very unfriendly answer ready in Damian's lips but he decided to kept that to himself, because he had no interest in continuing with such a pointless conversation, instead he was more interested in the kittens, that were done with their meal and looked now like tiny balls of fur. He felt very tempted to rub the kittens' fat little bellies, so it was a shame he couldn't take off his gloves to do that, but such were the injustices of life he had to accept.

Selina used the silence that followed to drink her tea and carefully observe her guest. Putting aside the suit and his idiolect, he didn't seemed all different from a kid taking enthusiastic care of a stranger's pet because he couldn't have one of his own. She wondered about what kind of life he had, because people usually didn't end in Batman's company for happy reasons and she wasn't blind, he was well trained, not in a way that some gymnastics in the community center could do, but something methodical and precise, in a manner that could only take years to learn. If he was saying the truth about Batman, was that the reason Bruce took him under his wing before everything? Because this was better than the alternative?

Her second mistake should be blamed on Zatanna, clearly something went wrong when she magically healed Selina, because at least that'd explain her past restlessness and now this sudden lack of common sense.

“I think it'd take a couple of days to get them a spot at the shelter, so, if you want, you can come and see them before that.”

“Tt, while your lack of effectiveness doesn't surprise me, your authorization is unnecessary. I've seen farm pens with better security than this place.”

If Selina were on a TV show, this would be the moment she'd turn to look at the camera with a unimpressed expression.

Damian had no problems with ignoring her again, this time so he could start moving the cats back to their pillow made enclosure. “They need appropriate accommodations.”

“I have a cat bed somewhere, dear,” she said, taking the last of her tea. “I'll make space for them in my room.” With that, Selina stood up, empty cup in hand, walking back to the kitchen without caring about being barefoot. “Do you have a curfew or something? As you can assume, I'm a very busy woman and if you're coming tomorrow,” she left the cup in the sink once she was in front of it before turning around. “I need—”

And just like that Selina found herself alone in her apartment, with only the meowing kittens for company and an open window, mocking her.

“You've got to be kidding me.”

From the long list of traits Damian wasn't especially proud, being a sore loser was one of the many. He liked to think he was better at it now, but it was a little difficult to measure such thing when the past years of his life had been about endurance and remorse. His current life was lacking of that too, because he wasn't competing with anyone: not for his place in the Wayne household, not for his right to be recognized as a Robin and not for his father's acceptance.

So he was trying to figure out if he was bothered because he was losing the current chess game he was having with Pennyworth or if it was the man's smug countenance, so proper and entertained, what was annoying him.

“Did you know,” said Pennyworth apropos nothing. “That the donation you made through Mrs. Wayne's Foundation has been accepted?”

Damian did in fact know, because whatever his plans were - big and small -, he was always paying attention; although he had more pressing matters than concerning himself with St. Aden's Orphanage's Easter celebration, it was still something he cared about. From the research he did the first time he met Colin, he found out that St. Aden was one of the many orphanages that was run under the Wayne Foundation and like all that fell under his father's charity, it was well founded so it wasn't in a dire need of Damian's own charitable efforts. But just like everything he did, this was just something purely for his own selfish reasons.

“As it should,” he answered without taking his eyes from the chessboard. “Are you trying to distract me, Pennyworth?”

“I would never,” he sounded convincingly offended by the accusation. “That would imply I need the advantage.”

Alfred was lucky Damian was so fond of him. 

“I brought it up because I'd like to know if I should be preparing a customary Easter Hunt for you, sir.”  

His first impulse was to scoff at such ludicrous idea and say no, because he wasn't a child. But it was just that, an automatic response from years of never considering himself a kid, not even in his earliest memories; it wasn't what Damian wanted now. He promised to himself that he'd stop rejecting the little joys of childhood, because it was the least he owed to the child he never had the chance to be.

“That would be acceptable,” he said, trying to sound indifferent. “Nothing too extravagant, simple yet tasteful would do.” And with that, he finally made his next move in the board.

“Of course, Master Damian, we wouldn't want the colorful eggs made for children to be anything but stylish.”

“You're always so hilarious, you should consider joining Grayson in the circus. You have the talent.”

The only reaction Damian got for his words, was a small amused twitch in the corners of Alfred's lips. “We should always strive to bring smiles to the ones around us.” And as if he had planned it, he made his move, successfully ending the game. “Checkmate.”

“Well played, Pennyworth,” said Damian after a moment. “You deserve to be rewarded for this, so I'll be on charge of making dinner today.”

Alfred's disapprovingly raised eyebrow was Damian's own victory... so maybe he was still a sore loser, but just the tiniest bit. 

The computer in the Grave was a work in progress, while it served its main purpose, it had a lot of limitations compared with the Batcomputer, which was the reason why he had to sneak out from time to time in the cave -  and more recently in the bunker - to get what he needed it. Of course, given the kind of people he lived with, sneaking out usually meant going on little infiltration operations. The safest time to do things he was trying to hide, was to do them when Grayson and Drake were too busy patrolling; the second was to do them when they were out cold after coming back from said patrolling.

Hypothetically, past four o'clock in the morning, should be a safe time to go in the bunker without having to worry much, at least in normal nights, when they didn't have wild situations going out of control by Gotham's standards. But Damian would've done well to remember that he also lived with a self-inflicted insomniac, so getting his plans ruined by Timothy Drake was frustratingly typical; at this point he really needed to install is own secret cameras in the bunker, if only to help him not waste time.

Going back as soon as he noticed that Tim was on the computer would be too suspicious, something Damian didn't need to add to when Drake already was distrustful of him, so he decided to do the first thing that came to his mind and started to walk confidently to the lockers, hoping Drake would just ignore him.

Of course he wasn't that lucky, because Tim seemed to have a natural disposition to go against his wishes. “What are you doing here?” He asked, as soon as Damian passed behind him, even if he was at a considerable distance.

“I came for my sword.” Was the disinterested answer.

Tim let out a sigh but kept working on what he was doing. “Why do you need it at this hour?”

“I can't sleep.”

“Training won't help, you're just going to overtire yourself.”

While part of Damian wanted to call out the hypocrisy, he was more focused on the fact that this was the first time he heard Drake say something that could be interpreted as worry for him, so probably at this point he was working on autopilot if he didn't mind sounding like he cared for Damian.

“It's not for that, is to help me sleep.”

“Are you seriously thinking about putting that under your pillow?”

“Not under my pillow, I just need to have it close.”

“The penthouse is up to Batman's standards, if something manages to pass that, you're going to need more than a sword.”

“It's not for defense, this is my emotional support sword.”

At this, Tim finally stopped typing and for a few seconds he just stared blankly at the screen in front of him. “I feel like I'm always asking you this, but, what?” And almost immediately he shook his head. “Forget it, don't answer, I know you're just messing with me.”

For a change Drake wasn't wrong when it came to him, so Damian wasn't going to argue. After he secured his sword and gave a quick but discreet look to the places that could be appropriate to install cameras, Damian naively thought that this will be the end of it, but when he got close to the stairs, Tim's voice made him stop right on his tracks.

“Damian.” It was just his name, but the way it was said felt too deliberate, like a command.

Drake, of course, wasn't looking at him when Damian turned around. He knew what kind of game the other was trying to play, so he just clicked his tongue with annoyance. “What?”

For a moment Tim acted like he didn't heard him or even spoke to him in the first place, so maybe Drake was fancying a kick in the shin this early in the morning, because he seemed to be asking just for that, however what he finally said next made Damian forget completely about any irritation.

“Do you still believe Bruce is going to come back?”

The unexpected question didn't surprise him that much, instead he was more curious about what thing in their interaction made Drake think about his father all of a sudden. “Yes, I do.”

At this, Tim turned the chair to look at him clearly. “Why? What proof do you have?” And his tone had a trace of mockery.

“I grew up surrounded by the legacy of a man obsessed with cheating death, I've seen the impossible become mundane.”

“That's it?” He said in a mix of disappointment and disdain. “Just because Ra's refuses to stay dead doesn't mean Bruce is somewhere out there, we have his body.”

“For all we know that's a magical clone.”

Probably it would be for the best if Damian wasn't so close to the truth, but given how utter ridiculous their lives were, his conjectures could pass just as a lucky guess.

Tim then let out a mirthless laugh, one that Damian knew very well. “That's the best you can come up with? Not like it matters,” he put his elbows in the armrests of the chair and interlocked his fingers, giving Damian a look of unmistakable condescension. “But what if you're wrong? What if all this time Bruce has been really dead and you're just in denial? What then, Damian?”

Drake's mind was a mystery. Damian couldn't even begin to fathom what triggered this, how they went from him reasoning his visit to the bunker to Tim talking like Damian was a fool, all in the blink of an eye. But he did have a theory as to why Drake, of all people, would act as if it was stupid to believe Bruce was alive.

Well, Damian was always up for theatricality, because that's what his life has always been at its core: a perpetual portrayal of what his parents wanted him to be. His life was still on a stage, the only difference was that now he was free to choose his role and how to play it.

“If my father is dead,” he started, sounding already bored. “There's only two paths for us to follow,” he unsheathed his katana and raised it at the same height of his shoulder, holding it horizontally in front of him. “We can defy the laws of nature and wage war on life and death alike,” with a subtle change of his wrist, he positioned the sword vertically, with its end pointing directly towards Tim. “And we search in heaven, hell and in-betweens until the universe kneels before us and has no other choice but give him back. Or,” in a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of movement, he sheathed the sword again, setting it firmly on the ground, resting his hands - one top of the other - over its handle. “We accept that he is gone and begin to come to terms with his loss until we learn to move on.” And he waited for his words to settle before finishing his little scene. “I already know my path. What's yours?”

And as if a switch had been flipped, Tim's whole demeanor changed; he practically slouched on the chair and gone was that air of taunting and somberness. He lazily studied Damian for a moment before just sighing with fake disappointment.

“You were less annoying when you were just homicidal.” Despite his words, his tone wasn't really antagonistic. “And I bet you think you looked cool just now.”

Damian hid his amusement, finally abandoning his imitation a general in front of his army. “The fact that you think that's what I was trying to do, denotes that you indeed thought I was, as you said, 'cool'.” Tim just rolled his eyes and turned the chair going back to his work, looking like he didn't try some kind of strange test on Damian just a moment ago. “You shouldn't stay so late, you know how Pennyworth feels about that.”

“Mind your own business and go cuddle your sword or something. And you better not tell Alfred you saw me here.”

“I don't need to, he always knows.”

Considering how true that was, Tim's lack of retort was expected, unlike the whole exchange they just had, but psychological warfare aside, that had been one of their most civil conversations, so overall Damian was counting it as a win.

⪻Chapter 12

Chapter 14⪼

[fischmitkeinemrad17]

Reblogging this again cuz upon a reread the QPR comment just feels a little malicious. You can absolutely get married for a variety of reasons and qprs don't exclude that. And if it's polyamorous in nature, well there's not really a way for that to hold up in court no matter how you swing it. (Though if I'm not mistaken some states are starting to recognize domestic polyam partnerships, but idk).

But generally, i personally am not a giant fan of a system where one relationship has to be prioritized over all others and this is the one thing you have to base your life around. Obviously this fucks you over if you're polyamorous and have multiple important someones, but it also sucks if you're non-partnering and don't have anyone you want to have that type of connection with.

Also also, maybe I'm naïve about the law and how homophobic the courts and hospitals can be, but at least a few of these things don't fully require marriage if you have another legal document stating your wishes. Obviously who your kids go to if you die isn't one of them, but end of life wishes and who gets your stuff are. That's why wills and picking power of attorney are important. Your spouse doesn't have to be the one to get your shit or choose when to take you off life support. Your spouse is who those things default to if you don't specify that shit ahead of time. And I hate to be a dick, but marriage might not be able to save you from others swooping in and making decisions for you. Take a look at the Terri schiavo case (tldr: Terri went into a vegetative state with little hope of recovery, husband (also the court appointed legal guardian) wanted to cease life support, her parents didn't, ensure multiple years of legal battles due to a lack of living will from Terri prior to becoming vegetative.) Regardless of your opinions on how that should have ended, it shows that marriage alone can only shield you from so much.

I'm almost certainly biased due to the fact that a)I'm not at a stage of life where this type of thing has had a large impact on my life, and b)despite the current anti-queer backlash, I still grew up in (and continue to live in) a world that is getting less queerphobic by the day (please stay that way dear god), and I haven't really encountered all that much bigoted shenanigans. But that's my two cents

Tldr: get a will and keep it updated, make sure you have a power of attorney, amatanormativity sucks ass, marriage isn't an everything-proof shield

K thnx by

this might be because I’m a family law lawyer and also an old crone who remembers when marriage equality wasn’t a thing (as in, marriage equality only became nation-wide two months before I went to law school), but I have Strong Feelings about the right to marry and all the legal benefits that come with it

like I’m all for living in sin until someone says they don’t want to get married because it’s ~too permanent~ and in the same breath start talking about having kids or buying a house with their significant other. then I turn into a 90-year-old passive-aggressive church grandma who keeps pointedly asking when the wedding is. “yes, a divorce is very sad and stressful, but so is BEING HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT ENTITLED TO EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION OF MARITAL PROPERTY, CAROLINE!”

[amysubmits]

Hello Amy! I've been following you for a v long time and it is always exciting to know how d/s thing works for people for real. I am literally in awe of your relationship with CD. I am 21 yo and i have have known my inclination towards this lifestyle for a long time. I have been in vanilla relationships before but i never knew how to express this desire to my potential partners. I have always had this fear of being judged. I was wondering if you could gimme some advice on that.

You're too sweet! Thank you!

It's so understandable to be afraid of sharing this interest with people.

I am someone who is pretty cautious and I feel that for the most part, that serves me well. Other people don't share that worldview, and that's okay. Also, keep in mind that I am someone who had a "vanilla to D/s" journey work out well, and while I'm certainly nowhere near alone in that experience, it probably makes me biased in favor of vanilla to D/s. Where others who have had unsuccessful vanilla to D/s experiences may be against that idea. But I guess I just feel like I should tell you those things for the sake of perspective.

Personally, my advice would be to not share it with potential partners, but to get into a relationship and wait until you feel secure before sharing it.

Of course, this risks that you could end up deeper in a relationship with someone who isn't interested in D/s. I think often, not always, but often, subs are naturally drawn to people with subtle dominance, and vise-versa. I think this is a big part of why people like me have success with 'vanilla to D/s'. IT's not crazy luck that I chose a dominant before I knew what D/s was. I think my 'heart' was drawn to his subtle, natural dominance, I just didn't have a name for it.

However, there is always the risk that they won't be open to it. Unfortunately, I don't think that risk is avoidable. And if you're in love with someone and get something good going, and then discover they aren't open to D/s...that really sucks. I don't mean to diminish that at all. However, it's 'just' emotional pain from good intentions a lack of compatibility, where other dating paths can put you at greater risk of being harmed.

I don't want to lecture you or seem like a mother hen, but at the same time I always feel a sense of responsibility when talking to young subs. Please know your age is a very real risk factor. There are a gazillion doms who specifically try to get with young subs and/or inexperienced subs for the sake of manipulating them for their own pleasure. So if you do decide to try to only date people who are into D/s upfront, please know that you are likely to encounter a LOT of people who are predatory so you'll need to be very confident what you want, extremely well-versed in red flags, 100% willing to reject anything and everything that you aren't 100% comfortable with, and have no qualms about telling anyone/everyone to fuck off if they aren't respecting you fully. If you aren't sure you're up for that, dating 'vanilla' is much safer.

[so-cool-day6]

ok here this suggestive n kinda smutty kevin thing

i'm absolutely no real writer so i apologize in advance lol

i wanna put some warnings to b safe, again ive never done this but i wanna do my best hshhsshshh

- slight degradation

- implied rlly rough sex

- mention of hair pulling

- color system

also i proofread this a million times but knowing me there's probably a million mistakes still, sorry

Never did I expect that "Jade" wasn't Jade at all.

Never did I expect that "Jade" was Kevin Moon undercover on deobi stan twitter.

Never did I expect that Kevin Moon would find my thirst tweets so hilarious that he wanted to hear more about them.

The moment Jade accidentally said "I" instead of "Kevin" in a message, I knew something felt fishy.

But he played it off so well, I soon forgot about it.

But those things just kept happening.

Sometimes it didn't take Jade very long at all to think up how Kevin would react to something.

Sometimes the answers seemed so extremely accurate, they could only have been from Kevin himself.

And when I finally put all the many pieces together?

Oh boy. I was pissed. And immensely embarrassed.

But not near as embarrassed as I know I'm about to be in a few minutes.

I'm only a few people away from going up to the fansign table to meet The Boyz.

I wasn't gonna come. I wasn't even gonna enter. I knew it would be far too embarrassing and humiliating to see Kevin in real life after all the explicit things I said about him, inadvertently directly to him.

But when your best friend begs you to enter with her, you enter with your best friend.

And when you and your best friend both win, and she begs you to go so she isn't alone... you go so she isn't alone.

She owes me big time for this one.

Thank goodness that Kevin isn't first...

As I talk to Jacob, Chanhee, Sangyeon, and Eric, I was glad to discover that, even if he shared every conversation we ever had, Kevin at least hadn't show any of them what I looked like.

But my conversation with Eric is ending, and Kevin is smirking, telling me that he has already noticed me.

Time to die, I guess.

I say goodbye to Eric, give him a high five, and move to the next seat in front of Kevin Moon.

"Well, well, well." He smiles. "Fancy seeing you here."

I try to laugh. "Yeah..."

"Why so shy? You weren't this shy on twitter."

"Yeah, when I wasn't talking to Kevin Moon."

"Ah, but you were. You were talking to Kevin."

I simply roll my eyes in response and look down at my hands, trying to keep my face from getting too red.

"Listen, I do wanna apologize. I shouldn't have manipulated you like that."

"It's okay... I can't blame you. If I were in your position, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. And there wasn't any real harm done, right? As long as it doesn't get out."

"Although, I must say..." His eyes darken. "I kind of liked hearing your thoughts about me. Especially in such detail." His hand lands on my thigh under the table and he feels me instantly tense up. He cracks a smile and chuckles. "I really do have an effect on you, don't I?" His voice is barely above a whisper, and his grip on my thigh tightens. "Just tell me if you want me to take my hand away and I will. Instantly. No questions asked."

"Okay." I think for a moment. Do I? Do I want him to move?

He looks at me expectantly, waiting for more of a response.

"I'll tell you if I do." I can feel my face heat up as I make my decision.

He smirks.

"I love how flustered you get." His thumbs slowly rubs the inner part of my thigh, thanks to his hand placement, and chills run up and down my back.

"Hurry up." A staff member says behind him, making sure the line doesn't get held up.

While Kevin's hand on my thigh isn't visible to the crowd, it IS visible to the staff. But they don't seem phased, nor do they seem to care.

Does Kevin have a habit of feeling up fans under the table or do they just wanna go home?

He leaves a cold spot on my leg as he pulls his hand away and quickly signs my album.

He answers the question post-it, which is actually a question from my Kevin-biased friend who couldn't try for a fansign slot, and then he flips the post-it up and writes something on the album page underneath the post-it.

"Move." The staff tells me. Kevin gives me a high five to look casual and throws me a wink as subtly as possible.

I continue on through the rest of the line, trying to keep my composure, especially when talking with Sunwoo and Changmin.

I may have said... a lot about them to Kevin.

A lot.

The fansign finally ends, and I don't remember Kevin writing something under the post-it note until the drive back to my friend's house.

"Hilton on Portico

Room 347

Should be back by 8

I'll have Q out of our room by 8:05

Hope to see you there"

No way.

No, he's kidding.

He's kidding right?

Did he just ask me to meet him in his hotel room tonight?

Why?

He doesn't want to... no.

No, that's impossible.

Why would he want to-

"Are you even listening?" My friend snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly cover Kevin's message.

"Sorry, I spaced out... Can't stop thinking about meeting them, yknow?"

-

My hand raises to knock on the door, before I pull it back down.

8:06, my watch reads.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here, right?

This is insane...

Maybe he wants to lecture me.

Maybe he wants to yell at me.

Why would he wanna yell at me after what he did at the fansign, though?

I shake my head and raise my hand to knock again.

No matter why he wants to see me at his hotel room, he wants to see me at his hotel room.

It must be important.

I carefully knock, suddenly regretting all of my life choices as I wait for him to open the door.

What if Changmin is still in the room?

What if his manager is in the room?

What if he wrote down the wrong room number?

What if he was just trying to play with me all along, and they aren't even at this hotel?

The door swings open and Kevin's face lights up.

"You came..." He sounds shocked, as if meeting Kevin Moon in his hotel room isn't a dream to many, many people. "Come in, please." He opens the door wider and steps to the side, allowing me to walk into the room. "I'm sorry it's still a mess... we have to refuse housekeeping services and I just got Changmin to leave a couple minutes ago. I didn't have a chance to tidy up for you..."

"No, no! It's no big deal, no worries. If only you saw my house, it's way worse..."

We stand in silence for a bit, both of us unsure exactly what to do next, when suddenly I gain a boost of confidence.

"Kevin, why am I here?"

He looks at me with eyes full of... I'm not sure what.

Thoughtfulness?

"I don't know. Why are you here?"

"You don't know? You're the one who told me to come." I scoffed.

"I know. But why did you come? What were you hoping would happen if you came to my hotel room? Or should I say..." His eyes darken again, just like they had at the fansign, and he steps towards me and takes my hand in his. "What are you still hoping will happen?"

All breath leaves me.

"Maybe I can jog your memory. Were you maybe hoping that I would... pull your hair and pound you from behind like you're nothing but my sorry cumslut?"

A sharp gasp involuntarily leaves my body as he boldly quotes one of the first things I ever told Jade, word for word. I can feel his ego boost by the second.

"Or maybe it was something more along the lines of..."

Kevin places his hands on my waist and pulls my body flush with his.

"Fingering you roughly until you're shaking and crying and begging for me to stop... but I don't."

Again, he quotes my own sexual fantasy to me, every word correct. Except this time it elicits a soft moan.

I can feel him hard against me, and I can't help but look away towards the floor in embarrassment.

"Look at me."

I can't bring myself to obey his command, no matter how much I want to.

"I said look at me." He grabs my chin and turns my face towards his, his eyes slowly moving away from my eyes and down to my lips.

His eyes and voice all tell me that he's having a hard time holding back, but he has to ask something first.

"Have you ever heard of the color system?"

"Yeah." I whisper, which is about the only volume I can muster up in the moment. "Like a traffic light, right?"

"Right. What color are you on right now?"

"Green."

"And what color would you be on if I kissed you?"

"Green."

That's all the approval he needs to quickly place one hand on the lower back of my head and softly press his lips into mine.

That softness does not last long, as the kiss soon turns into a quite passionate make out.

We begin to migrate, lips still together, until our legs hit the edge of the bed and Kevin pulls away from me.

"Your fantasies aren't soft. And you've got such a hold on me, I can't promise to be either. I don't wanna do anything that makes you uncomfortable, upset, or negatively helpless. I want you to use the colors. Is that okay with you?" Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier.

"I can do that."

"Don't hesitate at all to say any of the colors at any moment, if you feel you want to. Okay?" Yeah, the continuous consent checks are really sexy.

"Okay."

"Where are we at right now?"

"Green."

With that, he smirks and pushes me onto the bed, quickly crawling on top of me to reattach his lips to my own.

His beautiful hands begin to wander and feel my body. He finds my waistband and slowly slides his thumb under it.

I know he's taking it slow just in case I change my mind, which is very considerate, but it only makes me frustrated.

I push him away slightly with my hand.

"Can you hurry it up, Kev? You've had me wet since lunch." Is all i say before grabbing his shirt and pulling him back into me.

I can tell he's holding back some kind of reaction to what I just did.

His hand fully slides under my waistband, both of them, and he begins to slide his hand lower and towards the middle...

The embarrassment surrounding my encounters with Kevin are being replaced with thankfulness. Who would have thought that thirst tweets would land me in a hotel bed, getting fucked by Kevin Moon?

He's just made me cum for the third time.

First time with his mouth and fingers, then twice by railing me in two different positions.

He says yellow as he pulls out, and I nod.

We both need a breather.

He lays down next to me, both of us breathing quite heavily. I'm definitely breathing heavier, though. Curse his dancer cardiovascular health.

"So, what do you think we should-" Kevin is cut off by the sound of the door being unlocked with a key card, and his eyes go wide. He hurries to pull the blanket up over me, covering up my naked body from the view of whoever was coming in.

The fact that he doesn't care at all about his dick still hanging out loud and proud makes me wonder just how comfortable he is with all his members AND staff...

The person entering starts saying something in Korean, and all I can pick out is that he's addressing Kevin for something.

As the mystery person turns the corner and we meet eyes, both of us freeze for a moment.

Kevin scolds Ji Changmin in Korean, and Changmin responds, clearly upset at Kevin for something.

Kevin checks his phone and mutters an "oh".

"I'm sorry." Kevin turns to me. "I told Q to stay out until 10, thinking we'd be done by then... but I guess we've been having a little too much fun..."

The room reeks of awkwardness (and sex, but that's besides the point), until Changmin shyly raises his hand to wave at me.

"Hello. I'm Q."

I chuckle and wave back.

Kevin says something to Changmin. I'm unable to pick out any words to grasp at some sort of context before Changmin's eyes widen even further and he points at me, simply saying...

"Deobi?"

I nod.

Kevin's face suddenly turns devilish, and he starts talking to Changmin again.

I feel very out of the loop, but the way Changmin's face is turning beet red isn't making me optimistic as to what Kevin is saying.

"Kevin, what did you just tell him?"

Kevin keeps talking and Changmin's eyes dart back and forth from me to Kevin, and then I notice they glance down.

His grey sweatpants are not being very forgiving as to hiding his erection.

"Kevin!" I try a second time.

"What, baby? A man deserves to know what a sexy woman wants him to do to her."

I grab a pillow and throw it at him, hard, before hiding my face in the sheets.

Kevin apologizes in both English and Korean, and I hear Changmin giggle awkwardly.

Kevin says one last thing and I hear someone going through a suitcase.

I peek out from the sheets and see Changmin riffling through his bag, still replying to Kevin, before tossing something at Kevin.

Kevin thanks him, using one word of Korean I do know.

Changmin leaves, not before saying a kind goodbye to me, and Kevin turns to me.

"This might be fun, don't you think? If my memory is being kind to me, you've definitely mentioned me using one of these on you." He holds up the vibrator that Changmin threw at him.

What on earth does Changmin get up to on tour?

"Did he say anything about what you... told him?"

"He asked if you were gonna still be in town tomorrow. I sure hope you are, cause I said yes. And tomorrow it seems I'll be the one leaving the room all night... if you want to, of course."

I start getting wet again at the prospect.

"But don't think about him too much yet. I'm not done with you yet, baby." He clicks a button on the vibrator. "Green?"

"Green."

He looks at me like he's a hungry lion, before pouncing on me.

Rest time is over.

--------

THE UNGOLDY SCREECH THAT LEFT ME OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN

"Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier" IT'S TRUE. I'm not okay. My mind was babble the entire time, especially when Changmin walked in 🤤 the idea of it all... beautiful 😍 is it okay if I tag this a tbz smut? I think more people deserve to read this. I'll delete the tags if you want me to!

[rainhalydia]

I wasn't in fandom at the time, so I'm curious about how you felt, as a Throbb shipper, about GRRM confirming Robb didn't love Theon as much as he loved Jon? And how did Throbb shippers in general feel about it?

Well, I can’t say how Throbb shippers in general felt. Not that happy, I’d guess? I can tell how I felt and still feel about it, though I didn’t see that interview until long after the fact so I didn’t catch any drama anyway. To sum it up: I don’t care.

A much longer, rambling word-vomit under the cut:

I think I summed up my feelings very exactly, but I kept thinking a lot about this ask and having lots of opinions, so here we go. I’ll preface this long-ass rant by saying I have no professional training in literary analysis. I just read a lot, overthink everything and had two classes in college about literature.

First of all, this tendency to give great weight - i.e., to care at all - about what writers have to say about their own work is completely foreign to me. I mean it literally - the main framework of literary analysis I’ve encountered throughtout my education was basically centered around the text, and I very much adopt it without even giving it conscious thought. I don’t seek out interviews, addendums, essays, anything at all. Sometimes I read it if they fall on my lap. Such was the case with this interview.

It’s not that writers don’t have things to say, or that those things are not interesting or valuable or sometimes shed a new light on their work. It’s that at the end of the day they’re not important! Only canon is canon. I don’t mean to sound snob or pedantic, like the books are law or something. And any canon has a number of valid interpretations (within limits), they’re not absolute, they allow some wiggle room. But any text needs by definition to stand on its own without writers poking their heads inside the room to say how we should interpret it. If we need imput from the writers to do it, then the text is already bad, it failed, sorry. Interpretation is the reader’s job. In fact, it’s the reader’s prerrogative.

Much of this hipe around authors, I believe, has to do with the rise of social media and how close to the public writers suddenly were. And I feel that applies especially for authors like Martin, who are very talented and have created a very rich world that has become really popular. And ASOIAF is still ongoing. It’s natural that everyone wants to pick at his brain and know where the story is going!

And here I make my second very unpopular point: authors are not specialists in their own work.

He knows more than anyone about it, certainly, and currently Martin is probably the only person who knows how things will end (though we have plenty of bare bones the show left), but he is, as he has admited himself, a gardener. The story was bound to get away from him, given his own writting style. The group of people who will be specialists on his work don’t include him, and they don’t even exist yet. They will only emerge when he’s stopped writing (so probably after his death) and his work has ended (if it was finished or not). Then people can read every single thing he has ever written, which is much more than ASOIAF, and analyse it to death, pick it apart from every single angle, the ones Martin intended to be there and the ones he didn’t.

Again, I don’t mean to come across as snobbish and say Martin does not know his own work, characters, creation, etc. He does! But no writer can leave all their biases behind when they start writing, so these books are not neutral to begin with. Add to it the lots and lots of variables readers will bring when they interpret the text, and any book is always going to be more than the author intends by default.

If my argument seems absurd, let me point out that it has already happened to a certain degree: my own interpretation from reading ASOIAF is that it is full of anti-war, anti-violence messages, and yet from it has sprung an adaptation that, in my own interpretation, glorifies war and violence to a ridiculous degree. I’m not alone in these opinions, btw. They’re pretty common in fandom spaces, so I’m sure I didn’t pull them out of thin air. We can argue until we’re blue in the face that the Ds can’t read anything for shit, they certainly don’t do themselves any favors, but you know, they interpreted the books well enough to correctly guess who was Jon’s mother and get permission to adapt it in the first place. I’ve since seen people (I’m not naming names, anyone still reading will just have to take my word for it, but I swear they do exist) defend that the show is a faithful adaptation of the books and that the glorification of war was there too, and others say that the show didn’t actually glorify war, it had an anti-war message! Who is wrong? Well, I don’t know. As I said, the GRRM’s specialists are yet to come, and I’m certainly not one of them. What I believe, however, is that all of us brought our own biases to the same text, interpreted it according to them, and came to different, often conflicting conclusions.

See also what GRRM said about the partnership between Jaehaerys and Alysanne and what most people made of their relationship from Fire and Blood. See the sept sex/rape scene controversy. See the Dany/Drogo controversy.

Do you get why I put little weight in Martin’s interviews to form my opinion? So given that and my own background, I’ll chose my own interpretation of the text rather than Martin’s apocrypha.

What does the book canon, and the book canon alone, say about Robb’s feelings for Theon? Well, unless new material is released, we’ll just never know for sure, because Robb isn’t a pov character. We do have Theon’s side of things - he has a certain affection for Robb, he’s more of a brother than his own brothers, he wishes he had died with him or at least that he had been there at the moment of Robb’s death, depending on how sincere he feels like being. We also know a little bit of what other characters thought of their relationship. Bran says Robb admired Theon and enjoyed his company, and it’s implied that he finds this baffling. He’s also jealous that Robb spends more time with Theon and other adults doing adult things than with his brothers. And though I’ve talked at lenght about interpretation and wiggle room to understand things, it’s also pretty evident that Robb is down to hear Theon talk about his sexual conquests in some detail as long as his brothers aren’t around.

Of course, Bran is a child and much as he loves Robb, their time together is cut short and Robb is not his main concern anyway. We get most material about Robb and Theon’s relationship from Cat’s pov. There’s a lot we can analyse and Damien had already done a great not-meta about it, but sadly he’s since deleted, thank you to the demons who got on his case, but for me the most damning piece of evidence that Robb feels very strongly for Theon is this:

“Robb will avenge his brothers. Ice can kill as dead as fire. Ice was Ned’s greatsword. Valyrian steel, marked with the ripples of a thousand foldings, so sharp I feared to touch it. Robb’s blade is dull as a cudgel compared to Ice. It will not be easy for him to get Theon’s head off, I fear. The Starks do not use headsmen. Ned always said that the man who passes the sentence should swing the blade, though he never took any joy in the duty.”

So to unpack what is going on: nearly drowing in grief, Cat rambles to Brienne about lots of things, including Theon’s impending death sentence. By Northern dumb tradition, Robb must be the one to behead Theon, his former best friend turned enemy, turned betrayer, turned brother-killer. And she says that it won’t be easy for him to do it.

Now, it can be argued that this is partly because of the sword. They’ve lost their sharp valyrian steel and Robb uses an inferior blade, not as sharp. I reject this interpretation as the only explanation (and here comes my own biases) because she mentions the headsman right after. A headsman might be more experienced, but it’s not like he’d have valyrian steel to do it either. Rather, I think she’s talking about how being able to pass Theon off to be killed by a headsman would be easier on Robb psychologically, but it’s not really an option, so Robb will have to suffer.

At this point, to Robb’s knowledge, Theon has: 1) betrayed his trust and used the ruse of negociations with Balon to escape; 2) attacked the northern shore and enslaved his people; 3) attacked and took control of his home; 4) made his brothers hostages; 5) killed his brothers; 6) denied his brothers the right to be buried in a decent way; and finally, 7) burned their bodies and exposed them for all of the North to see.

And after all this, having to be the one to kill Theon will make him suffer.

We know one of the moments Robb gets the angriest in the books is when Bran is threatened by the wildlings. He is the acting Lord and keeping his little brothers safe is his responsability. He nearly bites Theon’s head off when Theon saves Bran in a risky way and we know that was uncharacteristic because Theon is still sulking about that a whole year later. So his siblings are dear to him, but even after Theon does everything from steps 1 to 4, he’s still sure they’re not in danger and that Theon won’t do anything to them. That’s how much he trusts Theon. It takes literal murder to make him change his mind.

But then he does change his mind. He believes Theon did those awful, awful things to his brothers. After that knowledge has had time to settle in, after he believes the worst of Theon, he has this amazing convo with Cat that I’ll quote whole because it’s amazing:

“Enough.” For just an instant Robb sounded more like Brandon than his father. “No man calls my lady of Winterfell a traitor in my hearing, Lord Rickard.” When he turned to Catelyn, his voice softened. “If I could wish the Kingslayer back in chains I would. You freed him without my knowledge or consent … but what you did, I know you did for love. For Arya and Sansa, and out of grief for Bran and Rickon. Love’s not always wise, I’ve learned. It can lead us to great folly, but we follow our hearts … wherever they take us. Don’t we, Mother?”

Is that what I did? “If my heart led me into folly, I would gladly make whatever amends I can to Lord Karstark and yourself.”

Lord Rickard’s face was implacable. “Will your amends warm Torrhen and Eddard in the cold graves where the Kingslayer laid them?” He shouldered between the Greatjon and Maege Mormont and left the hall.

Robb made no move to detain him. “Forgive him, Mother.”

“If you will forgive me.”

“I have. I know what it is to love so greatly you can think of nothing else.”

Catelyn bowed her head. “Thank you.” I have not lost this child, at least.

So we know that what is going on here is that Robb is buttering Cat up before breaking the news of his marriage to Jeyne to her. One of the possible interpretations supported by the text is that Jeyne is in love with Robb and Robb is not in love with her. It’s a common reading that he married her out of honor and to avoid a possible Jon Snow situation. During their marriage, he seems to grow fond of her - Cat notices he likes her company better, and her brother’s, and that he laughs when he is with the Westerlings - but he also keeps some distance. She’s afraid of Grey Wind, which pretty much means being afraid of a part of him. In turn, he’s attentive, courteous, and a bit touched and annoyed at her public displays of affection.

Then there is this gem:

“His heir failed him.” Robb ran a hand over the rough weathered stone. “I had hoped to leave Jeyne with child … we tried often enough, but I’m not certain…”

And this is more Damien’s not-meta than my own, but once you see it, you can’t ever unsee it. Compare the bolded parts in that quote in the first Cat-Robb convo to the part bolded in the second one, put them side to side and tell me you can’t see the difference. In the first one, Robb basically spells it out that he’s made a mistake out of love, that love turned him into a fool, but it was stronger than him. At that point of the narrative, Robb’s biggest mistake (and notably it was HIS mistale, it was not a case of the narrative screwing him over) was to free Theon. A mistake that caused him to lose his brothers, castle and a significant chunk of political standing. The consequences of marrying Jeyne, which is pretty much only to lose the Freys, don’t even compare - especially because the Stark faction believes they can win their support back.

And this love that made him act like a fool is further described in the second bolded part of that quote. He loved so greatly that he could think of nothing else. That is some passion there, folks. Even considering that he’s trying to get Cat on his side, it strikes me as so sincere and heartfelt. And again, maybe it’s my own biases showing, but that sounds like an all-consuming love, the kind of love that doesn’t go away easily. I don’t see that same depth of emotion on the second bolded quote… they tried often enough. Does it add up with the first part? I don’t think so.

My conclusion, and forgive me if the shipper gogles come in, is that the love that hurt him, that consumed him, is the love he had for Theon. Not for his wife. But it was in the past, one might say. His marriage was just beginning, he and Jeyne grow closer, etc. I’ll quote two more bits:

“I cannot speak to that. There is much confusion in any war. Many false reports. All I can tell you is that my nephews claim it was this bastard son of Bolton’s who saved the women of Winterfell, and the little ones. They are safe at the Dreadfort now, all those who remain.”

“Theon,” Robb said suddenly. “What happened to Theon Greyjoy? Was he slain?”

Here we are nearing the Red Wedding. Some Freys come to pretend to make peace and pressure for a wedding to Edmure and they bring news of the battle of Winterfell. Professional writers don’t often abuse the “suddenly” like us poor fic writers, so when he says it was sudden, i believe it was sudden. I believe it came out of nowhere, in fact, and that Robb was the only one in that room considering Theon’s fate.

Roose Bolton removed a ragged strip of leather from the pouch at his belt. “My son sent this with his letter.”

Ser Wendel turned his fat face away. Robin Flint and Smalljon Umber exchanged a look, and the Greatjon snorted like a bull. “Is that … skin?” said Robb.

“The skin from the little finger of Theon Greyjoy’s left hand. My son is cruel, I confess it. And yet … what is a little skin, against the lives of two young princes? You were their mother, my lady. May I offer you this … small token of revenge?“ 

Part of Catelyn wanted to clutch the grisly trophy to her heart, but she made herself resist. “Put it away. Please.”

“Flaying Theon will not bring my brothers back,” Robb said. “I want his head, not his skin.”

Aside from Catelyn, who is torn, and maybe the Greatjon (I don’t know what snorting like a bull is supposed to convey), no one in that room approves of torturing Theon, they’re all rightly creeped out. But no one would blink an eye if Robb had ordered Theon flayed alive. Instead, he commands the torture to stop. Of course it’s the only decent thing to do, but let’s all appreciate how the character who is always arguing for peace, end of conflict and letting things go for the sake of the living and what can still be saved instead of more violence, is tempted by it. Robb is the only one who shares the full extent of Cat’s grief here, but he’s also the only one to try and stop the senseless punishment.

I joke all the time about how Throbb is canon, and it’s mostly jokes. They are not canon in the sense that Cat and Ned are canon, and I don’t think we’ll have any more facts added to their story together, there probably won’t be any flashbacks that hint at a romantic relationship between them. But looking at the text alone, what we have of it as of now, it’s possible to support a canonical reading for this ship. This interpretation is there in the text if you want to see it. In fact, some things make more sense if Robb was in love with Theon.

And you know, having a ship be supported by canon is not actually a condition that needs to be met to ship anything. It’s just something I particularly need to get into it. But even if you read Theon and Robb as just friends, it’s a reach to say that Robb didn’t love Theon.

Of course, we have Robb demonstrating affection towards Jon in the books too. He is Robb’s chosen heir, to Cat’s despair. Despite all the negative propaganda bastards get and the fact that the mother he so respected and loved disliked and distrusted Jon, Robb considers him a full brother, to compare to Sansa’s constant “half-brother” from the beginning of her journey. They’re seen having a good time together (they have a horse race in their very first appearance in the books, and Mance recalls them getting into trouble together as children), so they enjoy each other’s company.

Yet there’s also an undercurrent of sibling rivalry between them, seen from Jon’s pov. We have this bit with Benjen:

Benjen gave Jon a careful, measuring look. “You don’t miss much, do you, Jon? We could use a man like you on the Wall.”

Jon swelled with pride. “Robb is a stronger lance than I am, but I’m the better sword, and Hullen says I sit a horse as well as anyone in the castle.”

This is hilarious to me. My uncle paid me a compliment for being perceptive, a skill not at all related to martial skills! Time to compare my martial skills to my brother’s, even though we’re both 14 and there’s lots of more tried warriors in the world and we haven’t even had our last growh spurt! This is sure to impress a seasoned ranger!

Of course we know Jon’s rivalry towards Robb comes from his bastard status, but it’s interesting to me that it’s something that centers around Robb alone; he doesn’t compare himself to Bran or Rickon as far as I remember. That can be explained by their very similar ages and growing up together, I think. Jon has the advantage of being older than his other true born brothers.

Jon also says this:

Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father that he could be as good and true a son as Robb. I made a botch of that. Robb had become a hero king; if Jon was remembered at all, it would be as a turncloak, an oathbreaker, and a murderer. He was glad that Lord Eddard was not alive to see his shame.

To Jon - and to the other Stark children - Robb is often the model to be emmulated. I won’t dig up all the times they hold him up as the ideal of bravery. Jon’s feelings are not unique in this sense, though they are when it comes to the rivalry. They all admire Robb. From Robb’s side, I don’t remember hints of him admiring Jon or any of his siblings. He certainly loves them, likes them, and enjoys spending time with Jon at the very least.

But Theon is the one Robb admires in text. Bran says it, and Theon too:

“There is nothing small about the letter I bear,” Theon said, “and the offer he makes is one I suggested to him.”

“This wolf king heeds your counsel, does he?” The notion seemed to amuse Lord Balon.

“He heeds me, yes. I’ve hunted with him, trained with him, shared meat and mead with him, warred at his side. I have earned his trust. He looks on me as an older brother, he—”

Readers often dismiss this as Theon’s garden variety empty bragging. To be fair, Theon very much distorts reality in his head to fit his own idea of how things should be, but this is one of the few times when he’s not doing that. He’s genuinely proud that Robb thinks so well of him. And since he’s so sensitive about what people think of him and people not giving him the credit he thinks he deserves, I’m ready to believe his account of facts this one time.

What I get from canon, regarding who Robb loves the most out of Jon and Theon, is that he loves them differently. He might even love Jon more by ASOS; it’s a wonder that we have hints that he still cares about Theon at all by the end, after the murders of who we know are the miller boys, but who Robb thinks are Bran and Rickon.

He had different relationships with them. Even if you reject the reading of Throbb as romantic, friends and siblings are not interchangable, even if you’re out there calling close friends brothers or if your brother is your best friend. It’s different sorts of affection. At the beginning of the series, Robb and Theon seemed closer to me than Robb and Jon - let’s not forget that Jon’s favorite is Arya, and the biggest family drama at that time has to do with Jon and Cat. They grow even closer as they go to war together, and then they’re pushed apart by circumstances and by Theon’s actions.

But okay, this is not long enough yet, so let’s say that this is an invalid framework of analysis and Martin’s word of god has as much weight as canon, and that in fact, we’re 100% certain that Robb loved Jon more than Theon.

Why does it even need to be a competition? No one holds it against Ygritte that Jon loves Arya more. Asha has a steady boyfriend that she’d gladly marry, and still she takes risk after risk for Theon. Ned was probably the greatest love of Cat’s life, but her interactions with her brother and uncle are still emotional and moving in great part because of the depth of her love for them.

Robb loving Jon more doesn’t take anything away from Theon. He doesn’t love Theon less because he loves Jon more, love is not a finite resource. And Robb loved Theon plenty, be it in a familial, friends or romantic way. If it diminished, that was a result of Theon’s choices alone.