#-behaving in any way other than genuinely when he's turning up The Bit and so she misreads him so critically at so many points

[prophecydungeon]

15 for swordbearer?

15. Talk about the characters' struggles & how you decided on those

swordbearer explores hiyori's canon struggles, so that wasn't a terribly hard thing to pick; i wanted to dig deeper into what might be lurking behind how cartoonishly oblivious she is to zoro's utter lack of interest in her, and i wanted to draw a bunch of lines from that to the very genuine horrors she's lived through under a dictatorship that forces her to Perform nonstop. i also wanted to explore the hashtag asexuality of desperately wanting someone precisely because they'll never so much as look your way, especially through the lens of all the masks, literal and metaphorical, that she is forced to wear for twenty years and subsequently discards in a desperate gamble when she meets zoro. safety in rejection + the sting of rejection + masks shattering for good + you're fine until you're not.

[moontyun]

TXT: the type of...

Masterlist

𐀔 ...partner 𐀔 requested: no 𐀔 warnings: possibly toxic jealousy(?), silent treatment briefly mentioned 𐀔 genre: fluff, a smidge of angst, comfort

៚ Yeonjun

Jealous whenever someone is closer to you than he is.

That friend you've known for +10 years? Why do they need to know how you like your coffee in the morning?

You had warned him about a month ago about today. You told him you were going to be getting lunch at least one time with a friend of yours who was coming from out of town to see you. You hadn't seen them in a few months and you missed them. You, of course, had invited him to come with you. He, like he does, went along. The whole time he had to be touching you. Your friend was not allowed to touch you at all. They had gone to fix your hair for you and got the evil eye the rest of the time. When you had gotten home, you immediately called your friend and apologized for the way Yeonjun had acted. They accepted and you hung up, "You could have been nicer to them." He shrugged, "They shouldn't have touched you." You rolled your eyes, "You're going to call and apologize. Not a half-assed one. A genuine apology!" It was his turn to roll his eyes, but he did as you asked. After a couple minutes of him being on the phone, he started to bond with your friend and now it was your turn to be a little jealous.

៚ Soobin

Gets sulky when you go any night without him on facetime.

He likes it when you guys fall asleep together, he thinks it's the cutest thing.

Now, the way this ritual had started was completely accidental. He had fallen asleep while talking on the phone with you one night. You thought it would be cute to leave it on while going to sleep. It had felt like he was closer to you. But now, whenever he was away for work, he had to be on facetime with you in order to get to sleep.

"I like seeing your face in the morning!"

"You're on the other side of the world! We don't get up and go to bed at the same time!"

"I don't care! I want to see your cute face in the morning!"

៚ Beomgyu

Will do anything to get your attention on him

Meaning he will get on your very last nerve in order to get the attention he so deserves desires.

He was definitely on something today because he was tailing you around the house, he was yapping your ear off about anything and everything for hours now! Usually, him yapping this much wasn't an issue but today, he was annoying you more than normal. He kept poking and prodding at you. "Can you behave please?" He put up a thoughtful look on his face before shaking his head no. You should have known that was going to be the answer. "I can't, I love you too much to."

៚ Taehyun

Likes to match in subtle ways

Same color socks, matching nail polish, little key chains little things like that.

It's his way of feeling close to you.

You don't match one day and he will not speak to you and you won't get any attention from him until you do.

This morning was a little bit chaotic for you. In running late, you had completely forgotten your pale pink bracelet on the kitchen table. When you had gotten home that night Taehyun looked at you with the side eye of the century. Immediately, you knew what he was upset about. You sighed heavily, taking the bracelet and putting it on before waddling over and throwing yourself on him. "I'm sorry I forgot the bracelet. I was running late this morning and was in a rush." He hummed in response before allowing himself to let you cuddle him, "Don't forget again."

៚ Kai

Abhors it when you are upset in any sort of way.

If you do not tell him why you are upset, he will start to think he's done something to upset you.

He will try to make your terrible day into a better one as best as he possibly can.

Today was a particularly rough day for you. Things were just not going your way. All you had wanted was Kai right now. If he wasn't home you were sure you were going to have a full on break down. You needed that comfort from him right now. As soon as you walked in the door and saw his beamingly beautiful face you rushed over to him, hugging him as tightly as you could. He had known you so long that he knew something was up, "What's wrong?" When you had dumped everything on him, he just listened, no interruptions, no advice, nothing. He just listened. After you had finished, he suggested a cute little night in. He told you, you were to get the princess/prince treatment tonight. You wouldn't have to move a single muscle.

[robby-bobby-tommy]

I am very sad we didn't get to see more of Autobot Knock Out. So much I even have a fan episode idea. It's pretty garbage, but anyway.

Mb I'll write a fic about it *cough cough*forget about operation:redemption I literally can't finish stuff.

It's basically about how KO would get accepted into the team.

At first red finished bot will be distrusted, naturally. And he'll try to win them over. But millions of years working with Decepticons do change a bot. So what seems normal to KO is absolutely unacceptable to Autobots. For example, if someone loses their arm, a bot obsessed with his paint job will just find some vehicon and take their arm instead. Or actively take prisoners and interrogate them (like he did with Smokescreen). And when Optimus (in this timeline he hasn't died yet because I said so) gives him a pep talk, KO genuinely doesn't understand what is he doing wrong? Because, when you're a Decepticon, you don't bother much with ethics. It's either you complete your mission successfully, or you might be on the receiving end of Megatron's anger. So seeing Optimus disapproving of his "success" And yet forgive others failed missions made KO resent team prime a little bit.

Then, he was demoted to "nurse" despite being qualified enough to do operations without supervision. And it's even if Knock Out is lucky enough to be allowed to operate at all. Ofc, their reactions are more than understandable, but it still hurts. Ratchet watches his every move, because they spend all their time in the base.

That's the third thing that pisses KO off. He has to stay in base because of his "misconduct". And red finished bot hates having to stay inside. He loves going to drive in theaters or race with others, but now he isn't allowed even a step out.

The tipping point of the situation is when whole team prime (-Ratchet) go on a mission to fight decepticons. This mission is very important, but despite KO's desire to help, Optimus eventually asks Knock out to stay. He says it's because they "are in no need of another scout, but a second medic will be necessary if we wish to end this mission with no losses". When the team left, KO stayed for a bit, before quietly sneaking out. He is very infuriated and tired of playing Ratchet's little helper, and if team prime doesn't accept him, then he's free to do whatever he wants.

Once the gang gets back, mostly in one piece, Optimus notices KO's absence. Autobots have no way of getting through to ex decepticon, because they didn't have his comm nor have his location. Despite some bots being fine with his disappearance (Bulk and Smokey are still very distrustful), leader decided to meet up with him and talk things through.

Turns out KO went to the nearest drive in theater. OP comes up to his new subordinate, and watches the movie for a while, before asking if KO would like to talk. When smooth talking and flirty jokes didn't get "sweet rims" To go away, red bot finally decides to tell the truth. Optimus understands KO's frustrations and gently points out that stay at the base and absence from any too risky battles weren't meant to make KO feel unaccepted, but to keep him safe. Now that he has betrayed Decepticons, he is pretty high on "to kill" List. Yet his cruel actions still aren't accepted, because Autobots aren't like Decepticons, and team prime isn't like Megatron's gang. They do not use violence unless it is necessary.

This talk eases a lot of KO's concerns and after they get back to the base, he'll try to behave better.

Sorry if this post is very messy. I really wanted to get this idea out of my head and make it sound interesting.

[shegeekery]

Reparenting Loki

I want to talk about a dynamic in the Loki/Mobius relationship (in the Loki TV-series) that I've seen touched on but not really discussed in depth.

Note to Lokius-lovers: nothing I say here in any way precludes a healthy romantic relationship. They're both consenting adults, after all, and this wasn't a formal therapist-client relationship.

There's a technique in therapy called "reparenting". The idea is that trauma and behaviors caused by bad parenting can be addressed to some extent if the therapist assumes the role of a "good parent".

I think we can all agree that the "All-Father" was crap as an actual father. Odin knew that Loki took after him even more than Thor did, but many of those shared traits were things that he tried to hide from everyone, while Thor better represented the image he wanted to project. The result was a cruel favoritism, which was picked up by Thor and the rest of the Asgardians. Frigga's love and support wasn't enough to counteract that cruelty, particularly in a strongly patriarchal society like Asgard.

Side note (because I'm that kind of geek): there were so many similarities between Odin and Loki (Odin's friend and blood-brother rather than his son) in the old Norse myths that some scholars have suggested that Loki was at one point simply an aspect of Odin. There's also evidence that the stories as they came down to us were manipulated by the Christians who committed them to writing to shoehorn Loki into something more like the Christian Devil.

Anyway, getting back to our guys... Within the context of the TVA, Mobius represented an authority figure to Loki, who had a long history of rebelling against (or betraying) authority for obvious reasons.

I think the first turning point in the relationship for Loki was:

Loki: I am smart!

Mobius: I know. Loki is rarely left speechless, but his only response to Mobius's simple affirmation was a very un-Loki-like "Okay..." He didn't know how to respond because he wasn't used to that kind of thing, particularly from someone who had power over him. It happened again with:

Loki: A villain.

Mobius: That's not how I see it.

The dynamic between these two people throughout Season 1 was like that. Mobius's genuine love (whether you read it as romantic, platonic, fatherly, brotherly, or a mix of any or all of these) for and non-judgmental acceptance of Loki was apparent from the start, but of course Loki's experiences during his very long lifetime made it nearly impossible for him to trust that until Mobius's actions convinced him that it was real. Learning to trust Mobius also allowed Loki to see himself in a new light.

For his part, Mobius consistently modeled what a good father would have been: loving and accepting, yes, but still able to apply "tough love" when that was warranted. Mobius didn't put Loki into the bad-memory loop to punish him because he was angry (though he was angry, or at least a bit hurt and disappointed). He was just trying to force Loki to acknowledge a truth about himself so that they could move forward — and it worked!

Mobius's instincts and experience as an actual father to two boys, one reasonably well-behaved and the other a mischievous troublemaker, served him well in this, even if he didn't consciously remember his life on the timeline.

Mobius all but confirmed this when he said:

Mobius:  I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold... 

It's also significant that when Loki brought this up later, he called it "patronizing", which we usually use to mean "condescending", but can also mean "supporting" and has its root in the Latin word "pater" (father).

I see the hug in episode 1-5 as a sign that the reparenting had taken hold, and that Loki, while not completely healed (it would take a lot more than that!), was at least in a place where he could trust someone, accept love/friendship, and think beyond his own wants and needs.

By Season 2, the relationship between the two men was evolving into one of equals, but even then Loki still occasionally looked to Mobius for guidance. Mobius's approval had become important to him. When Loki witnessed the firm but compassionate way in which Don dealt with two boys who were so like himself and Thor (despite being a stressed-out single dad rather than a god-king with tremendous resources at his disposal), he had to have seen that this was at the core of who Mobius was. Moreover, Loki — and any viewers who had similarly survived a traumatic childhood full of emotional abuse and neglect — probably guessed that Don himself was a survivor who was determined to see to it that his boys would never have to deal with that. If that was the case, then Mobius didn't just see his own son in Loki. He saw himself and couldn't help but empathize.

Don wasn't perfect. His frustration with his younger son was very evident, but Loki, observing, could see the love that lay under it. He may even have thought of times when Odin was driven to anger by Loki's actions and realized that the anger didn't necessarily mean that Odin didn't really love him. Learning to forgive what can be forgiven is another aspect of recovering from childhood trauma.

It's worth remembering that Mobius knew Loki in much the same way we do. We got to see the things that Loki never let anybody see: the fear, the vulnerability, the pain, the longing, and the sadness. (Doesn't hurt that TH can turn a simple reaction shot into a freakin' soliloquy!) The difference is that, while we only get to see the highlights (and lowlights) of Loki's life, Mobius had access to all of it and he had centuries to study it.

Mobius literally knew Loki better than anyone else in (or out) of the multiverse. How could he not love him? And for Loki, knowing that somebody who knew him that well genuinely cared so much for him (same with Sylvie, who understood him in ways that only another Loki could and vice-versa) had to have shaken him to his core and made him rethink a lot of things. The fact that it was Mobius to whom Loki turned in episode 2.6 when he thought he might have to kill Sylvie shows how much he still looked up to Mobius in many ways.

This was a show about redemption, yes, but also about healing from childhood trauma. They did an amazing job with it.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HELLO!!! i have a request for a platonic Crowley and Aziraphale x fem!reader with she/they pronouns 😄 if you know Nimona, then thats what i want the reader to be like. theyre a spunky, immortal, young teenager anarchist who can shapeshift and has unnaturally coloured eyes and hair. one day they find the two (husbands), and kinda just stays, so Crowley and Aziraphale accept their fate!! i dont mind if you decide to include a smudge of angst (or a shit ton whatever you prefer, but im impartial to both, so do with that what you will,) because after the newest season, i cant get enough of it.

many thanks!!

Oh! I haven't seen the movie but I know about Nimona!

......

You met Aziraphale and Crowley in 537 AD, encountering them by pure chance.

At first you intimidate them as a dragon, thinking they were two hapless knights who lost their way back to their kingdom..

Until you saw Crowley's snake eyes, and you realize he's not human at all.

"You there...I like your eyes.....are you another shapeshifter?"

"...um..nope." The demon in black armor looks incredibly confused, especially at this dragon talking to him. "Don't know what gave you that idea.."

"Well technically he is." The white knight adds on, smiling nervously. "You see, my erm..."rival" here is something of a serpent who was sent to-"

"Shut it, Angel. This beast doesn't need our lifestory! Now if you could kindly excuse us, o' great dragon, we have to discuss-"

"Hate to break it to you, but....I'm not actually a dragon."

"Then what are you exactly? You...said something about "shapeshifting" before, didn't you?"

To answer Crowley's question, you transform into a young human clad in knight armor, taking off your helmet to reveal your unnaturally-colored eyes and hair, smiling. "Bingo."

The pair are quite impressed, so they have no reason to hide the fact they were an angel and demon.

You explained how you've had these shapeshifting powers for a long time, being on the run since everyone thinks you're a "cursed child" or some monster that was once banished, wanting nothing more than to drive a sword through your heart.

When it's clear that neither Aziraphale nor Crowley have any intentions of hurting you....that's when you decided to stick with them.

It took them 20 years to realize you never aged, learning you're an immortal being in a teenager's body.

Your powers allow you to keep up with the times, disguising yourself as animals, people...or even angels and demons if your heart so desired.

Sometimes you'll turn into a snake much like Crowley's own snake form (although your scales have the color of your hair, ofc, so you're not 100% identical).

You haven't mastered turning just your head into a snake, however.

In the modern era, you enjoy being a nightingale after learning they were both fond of those birds, often singing in the bookshop out of boredom.

Although Crowley's fully aware you're not a demon, you got a spunky and rebellious personality and love getting up to mischief.

And he 100% encourages this (while poor Aziraphale's practically begging you to stay out of trouble).

But you're definitely on the angel's side anytime he compliments Crowley, who just snarls and denies ever doing something "nice" or "good".

You don't believe he's all that evil for even a moment.

While you're aware that they have to act like they despise each other bc they're on opposite sides...in your eyes, they behave so much like an old married human couple.

Aziraphale emphasizing "our car" when talking about the Bentley made you roll your eyes and joke about when the wedding's gonna start.

When Aziraphale returns to Heaven without Crowley, you realize that maybe your "marriage jokes" went a bit too far...even though neither of them blame you for their falling out.

Still, you feel bad bc you can tell Crowley was genuinely in love with him.

You overheard everything, and after his "no nightingales" remark, you're reluctant to shapeshift into one again out of fear of upsetting him.

Yet he asks you, too, as he couldn't bear the silence in the bookshop anymore...and listening to any of Aziraphale's music records would've been too painful for him.

You obliged, staying perched on his shoulder as he stared out the window for hours...hoping that his angel would come back to him.

You hoped so, too, waiting everyday by his side...until the end of time if you had to.

[wombywoo]

🤝 1, 10, 18

💓 3, 20

all ears kicking my feet giggling

thank you boo 😘

🤝Community and Relationships

Does your character prefer company or solitude when sick?

I think they both generally prefer to stew in their aliments alone, but now that they have each other, they recognize the benefits of seeking out company for comfort--lots of sympathy and soup and hair petting, etc (I can attest because I'm sick rn 😔)

10. Is there a habit your character has that they learned from someone else?

Vincent tends to emulate those around him, something he does subconsciously to 'fit in', so he often expresses sentiments or behaviors similar to those closest to him (considering his best friend is a 79 year old, this can potentially be a comedy gold mine)

I don't think Quinn has actively learned habits from others, rather he adjusts his own behavior out of spite--if he sees someone he despises behaving a certain way, he'll usually do the exact opposite on principle. He has tried to incorporate stricter and more professional practices from officers he actually respects, but his personal life doesn't really reflect that

18. What is your character's favorite form of affection?

Vincent really enjoys talking--this can be causal banter or long, deep meaningful conversations. He expresses his emotions most effectively when he can vocalize the issues at hand, so having someone sit and listen and engage is something he considers affection in itself. For physical stuff, he just likes being close; holding hands, leaning on each other, sleeping side by side, etc. To show affection, he loves pampering his partner; giving little gifts, one-sided sessions in bed, giving them all the attention~

Quinn's not an outwardly affectionate person and it takes him a really long time to even open up to that sort of thing. But, hypothetically speaking, he loves getting his hair played with. Also cuddles 😤. As an ordinarily 'aggressive' lover, in order to show genuine affection as opposed to lust, he tends to slow things down a bit; long, deep kisses, spending hours just holding each other and letting the passion speak for itself

Hmm. I see I took the horny route instead of saying 'they call each other cute names' or whatever... 🤷‍♀️

💓Mind, Body and Soul

3. Is your character more prone to fight or flight?

Both are more inclined to fight. If threatened, I think both of them would instinctively try to attack and defend rather than retreat. Quinn has some anger issues and would definitely prefer to punch someone out in the heat of the moment than walk it off. Similarly, Vincent also has some uncontrollable bouts of rage, so yeah...he's a fighter 💪

20. Is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome?

So..Quinn had previously been deadset on being a pilot (something he'd wanted since he was a kid), but at a certain point in his application process, he dropped out and joined the regular army. Turns out he has a real, deep-seated fear of flying (due to trauma, as per usual) Embarrassed and ashamed, he took measures to overcome this throughout his career--sure, he can jump out of a plane, but he still has this weird fear of being the one in control of an aircraft. Maybe one day Vince will teach him how to fly 🥺

Vincent has a rather valid fear of being used as a science experiment and thus stripped of all humanity. He'd been subjected to some gnarly examinations at some point (once vampirism was exposed, he was one of the first to admit himself as an 'example' and yeah--the British govt had no qualms in doing some pretty dubious shit to test his physical and mental capacities) As such, he still has this lingering fear of medical personnel and usually forgoes any kind of treatment unless necessary. He'd prefer to overcome this at some point, but it might take some time...

[raviolitin]

When did David Nolan stop hating Killian Jones? - a discussion:

I see so many opinions on this ranging from “At the end of s3” to “At the end of s6” and i’ve always wanted to actually evaluate when and where David’s hate for Hook actually disappeared.

After due thought, I can’t bring myself to believe that it’s any later than good form (3x05). Keep in mind that by his “hatred disappearing” I don’t mean any issues the two have being wiped away, I simply mean when David stopped having an intense disliking for him that got in the way of them having a civil relationship.

More specifically, this exact scene is where I think the turning point lies, with David behaving distinctly differently before and after this exchange happens.

But let’s back up a bit before we can start talking about this scene and analyse exactly why David hates Hook.

From the start of their relationship, David has let Hook’s reputation (both as Captain Hook and the reputation being a pirate alone garners you) cloud his judgement of him as a person. It’s shown time and time again that David despises thieves and pirates and criminals. He seems to view these types of people as absolute scum and is very stubborn about that assumption. That’s why I think the main problem with their relationship is that David is completely incapable of empathising with Hook on any level.

We can see through scenes like this one at the start of good form that David’s main issue is being unable to see Hook as an actual human beyond his villainy, practically viewing it as impossible for him to have real thoughts, feelings and emotions.

He calls him “nothing but a pirate” because that’s all he sees him as, not being able to be a complex person in David’s eyes. All David sees is a pirate and the connotations of that position, nothing more. That’s why it’s so easy for him to hurt his feelings and have no regret because he doesn’t recognise there are feelings to be hurt.

That’s why, when we look back to this scene, it becomes clear why David’s attitude changes.

He picks up the military insignia and hears Hook’s story about his brother, and this is what i believe causes the change. It’s proof that Killian is a real person and he is more complex than just being a cutthroat pirate.

Killian had a family, he experienced loss, he was once in the navy (something I think is especially eye-opening for David, who struggles to see the noble people of the navy in the same vein as corrupt pirates) and David is seeing all of this for the first time. Suddenly, the illusion is shattered.

Hook is no longer this blank slate for him to project all of his hatred for immorality onto. He’s a real person with a real family and real thoughts and real feelings. Suddenly he isn’t “nothing but a pirate.”

David now empathises with him, not just in his own mind, but actually when speaking to him. He somewhat tries to keep up the hostile attitude, but it fades away quite quickly, turning to a kind of friendly interest.

David actively choses to engage in conversation with Hook about his brother, sharing his experience with losing his own. He takes active interest in his past, genuinely engaging.

And while this does get overshadowed slightly by the banter the two start to share, this only further proves that David’s hatred isn’t as strong as before. Their jokes are now more light hearted, they’re not actually making each other angry nor are they being violent. Their conversation is much more friendly and you can see that in David’s demeanour especially. He’s smiling now, despite it all.

This is such a stark contrast to where they started. Hell, even a stark contrast to their dynamic at the start of the episode. Something’s changed between them, and it’s because of that small thing flipping a switch in David’s mind.

Though there’s still the issue of Hook pursuing Emma, I 1. don’t think that’s at the forefront of his mind right now. With everything going on, I’d say David’s mostly forgotten that gripe for the time being, and 2. David’s aversion to the idea of Hook and Emma together was mostly because he viewed Hook as pirate scum, which has now mostly gone away. (this is why David is less strongly against their relationship after this episode).

But then, why does he threaten Hook at Deadman’s peak??

If I think that David hasn’t hated Hook since that scene, then why do I think the two became hostile again later on?

Well, I think this is mostly to do with the deal David overhears between Hook and Pan.

David has spent all day learning new things about Hook and having his bias challenged, he’s finally beginning to come around and see him in a more positive light. AND then he overhears Hook and Pan, and it all comes crashing down.

I think after this he immediately goes backwards, probably thinking himself foolish for even considering a possibility Killian could be anything but pure evil. Now he thinks anything good he’s even so much as considered about Hook is wrong, all being a facade to have David gone.

He probably doesn’t actually hear that much of the conversation, just assuming Hook was always planning to kill him. Was any of it real? Their conversations in 3x03 and 3x04 are probably being seen so differently in his mind now - and his hatred for Hook is stronger than ever.

That’s why he goes back to being insulting in the deleted scene, why he refuses to take his hook, why he’s so ready to pull a sword on him.

It’s all been not only reversed, but strengthened by tenfold. It’s one thing to know a man’s reputation of being a murderer, but it’s another to know you’ve been manipulated into being his next target.

But then he calms down, and he realises Hook was on his side the entire time. His anger once again subsides and he sees Killian in a more positive light than ever. He lies once again just to give him credit, he willingly drinks the rum he previously spat out and he doesn’t insult him for a very long while.

Anyone who thinks David hates Hook or only begrudgingly spent time with him because of Emma is just wrong. David hadn’t hated Hook for a long time and it annoys me so much that s4 pretends he didn’t come around in 3a.

[sapphosremains]

hellooo ^^

so i am a "baby christian", as you put it. basically, a while ago i was super on fire for God, was actively trying to build a relationship with Him, generally feeling a lot more at peace. but now i feel like i've relapsed back to my old ways ("not having time" to read the Bible, behaving more like an atheist than a Christian, even doubting His existence). especially the last one, I don't think that He's real anymore and I've never actually felt His love like other Christians say they have. obviously i don't want to feel like this bc i genuinely want to have a good relationship with him, but im stuck. any ideas? (thank u sm!!)

Hello lovely!

This makes so much sense and again, have definitely been in the same place. I'll address what you've said bit by bit, then more generally.

So, practical things first. Download a Bible app and turn on verse of the day notifications, then even if you don't open your Bible, or click on the notification, you'll skim read it when it comes up, and no matter how little time you have, you've read a bit of the Bible. Something little and easy is always better than nothing.

Habit is also a big part of all of this, both in finding time for things and in it becoming automatic. The most crucial things about habits are them being easy and often. You might have to think about these things at first, but put in the pathways for them to be automatic and it'll become easier. Here are some examples -

Wanting to read the Bible more (more than my suggestion above):

Carry a pocket Bible/app -> practice turning to it for questions or concerns -> eventually do it automatically

Wanting to act more Christian than atheist (we'll get into this more deeply in a minute):

eg practice crossing yourself as a quick prayer (eg at an ambulance, in difficult situations when you need guidance, when you need patience etc etc) until you do it automatically

Try to turn negative, 'unchristian' habits to more positive ones. Or even replace neutral or positive non-religious habits with religious habits. For example, I used to struggle with really bad anxiety. I used to handle this with bad habits, then I got into a positive habit of saying calming things, and now this is saying the Apostle's Creed etc. Obviously this might not be the most useful advice for someone with OCD say, but take and leave what's helpful for you. Similarly, maybe say a creed or a prayer or a psalm (something you can memorise and associate with calmness) maybe if you're quick to anger etc.

Now, more philosophical and less practical things. Coming from my religious perspective, works are the fruit of the spirit - ie behaving 'more christian', whatever that means to you, will come from 'within' and what you believe. Both acting more Christian as in doing more Christian ritualistic acts (crossing oneself, reading the Bible, etc) will come from a deeper, more practiced relationship with your faith so that you feel a need for these things, and acting more Christian in terms of kindness, patience, generosity etc will also come from a slow shifting of your beliefs as you develop your faith. One practical piece of advice I can give on this is, if you can, join a church. Both sides of this rub off on you from being surrounded by people acting how you would like to act. The opposite applies as well, and it's probably why you're finding it difficult - we're constantly being influenced by worldly, non-Christian influences, so of course it's difficult to buck the trend and lead a different life. Be gentle with yourself :)

I'll try and address your question on doubt and unbelief generally, but if you want to be more specific about your situation feel free to reach out again, on here or in messages. The persistence of your desire to have a relationship with Him despite doubt tells me that you have a root belief somewhere. As I don't know your exact reasons why, it's tricky to say much, but I can suggest that doing everything I've suggested so far will help. Pray, even if you think no one's listening, even if you just take it as a meditative practice without belief behind it. Pray however feels right for you - kneeling at an altar or chatting while you do stuff. If you can't approach God, approach St Mary, or a saint you feel is approachable (really powerful post on this here). Open your heart to other ways God is communicating with you. The chances of the Holy Spirit descending with a big sign saying 'I'm real, do this' is low, but I think this is secretly what part of us expects! But God speaks to us through other people, through subtle guiding of our life, through signs, and everything else. He will work in us, should we open our hearts. Don't put pressure on yourself to believe. Things come with time.

Faith is a long and difficult journey, so as above, be gentle with yourself and do reach out to me or others on here who might be helpful. If you want to believe, you've got a hard bit sorted!

Bless you x

[batsplat]

in a way valentino did himself a big disservice by undermining sete as a rider and a rival. like he pretty much erased that rivalry from his narrative and sete is now (mostly?) remembered as that one bloke that vale overtook in the last corner at jerez. like come onnn valentino now ppl think you raced against some very mid guys 😭. but that rivalry was great actually! love watching their on track battles. also it’s such a great foreshadowing for vale/marc and the marc/dovi parallels…….valentino was really doing thee most in terms of interesting feuds and narratives, always years ahead.

sadly the same anon so there are still only the 3 of us.

complete agree on everything in this ask. thanks anon it's fine if it's still just three of us. the growth will be organic I #believe. anyhow I find it funny he does this shit but it also drives me a little crazy. like... it's so obviously not self-serving... and gives you a real insight into his priorities. you see this stuff all the time... ah, sete was mid, valentino didn't rate sete (or biaggi) at all, it was such an easy rivalry for valentino which proves he competed in a weak era... terrible pr move, you'd think! such a fantastic on-track rivalry! why wouldn't you stand by it! and even if he did truly think sete was an unworthy rival, it would still be in his interest to give that man a little hype. you would genuinely be forgiven for thinking the 2004 title was basically wrapped up after welkom, which!! my man!! that's literally your best season, what are you doing!! istg you are making it HARDER to get people into what is straight up the best era racing-wise in modern motogp because half the fandom saw one clip of you calling sete mid and have based all their opinions on that. work with me you twat!!

it's also just so obviously not true. how valentino behaved over the course of that rivalry is not what you would do against someone you don't see as a serious threat. the massive reaction after sachsenring 2003, everything about that early 2004 trio of races (especially the last lap of assen), everything about his reaction to qatar, the targeted cruelty of the sepang celebrations, taking all those risks at phillip island, his panic at the idea of losing in 2005 at jerez, the ferocious determination with which he set about preventing sete from winning again for the rest of that year... sure, some of that is personal animosity post-qatar, but it's personal animosity that was in large part because valentino was spooked by sete. this was the guy who dented valentino's impeccable reputation in one-on-one duels, who actually managed to make him bleed when valentino wasn't expecting it - the first time somebody had managed to do it with anything approaching regularity at a bit of the season where it still mattered for the championship (though shout out to barros for motegi/valencia 2002). genuinely the first time it felt like somebody had valentino handled in direct duels since, y'know, 1998 harada when vale was a teenager. valentino may have fought for the title with biaggi in 2001, but in actual duels it was very one-sided. there's a pretty decent argument that sachsenring 2003 is the single wheel-to-wheel defeat that stung the most until phillip island 2015? like that fucked with him! it prompted a bigger reaction from him than any individual defeat inflicted by casey or jorge! (not that valentino ever really lost duels against jorge but that's a conversation for another day.) he was determined to NEVER fuck it again like he did at the sachsenring! he did this whole reclaiming the spirit of his teens at brno! he AGREED TO SIGN FOR YAMAHA! this was SUCH a massive turning point

he was struggling!! he was seething!! he's exceptionally good at not being a sore loser on a race to race level (always been more of an 'attack from a position of strength' type by disposition) but this is. genuinely. as close as you can run him this decade. maybe assen 2001 is the other one where the mask does slip a little. but apart from that

which objectively makes for a better rivalry! sete being that good bothered valentino, he really hated losing to him even before they were enemies! and the thing is, right, valentino is aware that great rivalries make great stories - that his opponents being strong makes him look stronger by reflected glory. he knows this! it's an own goal that he's just rolling with this tactic! it's so personal he's gonna take the reputational hit! it's night and day when you compare it with, say, the casey rivalry. basically the biggest most obvious tells valentino actually harbours personal animosity towards someone is if he a) blanks them, like just straight up ignores them unless he absolutely has to, and b) starts fucking around with his career narrative where he excludes them from his story in some way, even if at times it's to his own detriment. it's quite straightforward! that's why the moment you cut away all the noise, you can tell he never really had anything against casey - complete competitive happenstance, casey was just there. (you can also tell this how you'd be hard pressed to find anything particularly mean-spirited valentino has said about casey after, like, mid-2013, but that almost feels too simple.) valentino loves to yap and valentino loves to tell fun stories about his career. if he's not yapping with some bloke and he's not including them in his stories, you know it's something special

anyway obviously the fact that sete doesn't get rated also means a lot of people do miss the pretty glaring dovi parallels lol. like they're right there. here just again for reference:

sete never quite got valentino to a title decider, but 2004 is basically almost as close as 2017 and then 2003 is more of a title challenge than either 2018 or 2019, though 2005 isn't one at all... point is, these are broadly similar levels of threat vale and marc face at literally the same age. sete and valentino were closer on a personal level than marc and dovi ever were, but apart from that you've got two rivalries that immediately stand out because of how much more 'respectful' they were than what directly preceded it. I supposed marc does better pr for that rivalry because he doesn't dislike dovi and because it also did him a world of good to be able to point to a more 'respectful' rivalry in his resume, as a kind of 'oh look I can do that too, I'm not the problem' type thing. vale was very image conscious in the sete rivalry, but more in a 'oh I can use how image conscious the other guy is to suffocate him'. and I reckon that's one of the biggest differences between the two rivalries... because losing to sete was a real reputational hit for valentino, like that was a net negative, got the italian press calling him washed and all that shit. whereas marc and dovi... I honestly cannot recall people giving him too much grief for all the last lap duels he was losing? which is odd, in a way, but meant that broadly having dovi around was a good thing because it was almost like a built-in way of making those dominance years watchable. adds a little spice if there's always the threat marc might at least lose a last lap battle, even if unfortunately that might be the only competitive tension you're getting that season. for marc, just having the dovi battles was beneficial. for valentino, the only way he could benefit from the sete battles was by winning them

[liesmyth]

so not to drag you back to 2018 but if you had any directors commentary to share on ‘Honeyed’ or “well I rose, and I rose” I would be genuinely beyond thrilled

I will HAPPILY be dragged back! I'm gonna go with Honeyed because I don't think I've ever talked about it before

Honeyed (Captive Prince, Jokaste/Lykaios, CNTW)

I was so fascinated by Jokaste in canon and tbh I should've written more fic about her! This one was written for an exchange and I don't remember the exact prompt, but I think it was about exploring the power differentials in the Akielon Court. I know Captive Prince is Not That Deep but buried underneath the id-fic and the enemies to lovers there's a whole lot about Damen as a self-absorbed young princeling and probably not a very good man who now has to reckon with What He Did To Others, and that awareness is very present every time I think about the pre-canon status quo of things.

This is a fic about the Jokaste/Damen early days; she's a minor noble who arrived to court and caught the attention of the Prince so what does the Prince's household do? Send her one of Damen's sex slaves so she can learn what Damen likes in bed. Damen has no idea this is happening, ofc. Things just happen around him that make his life easier. He's very present in the story even if not in the fic — this does NOT pass the Bechedel Test!! — and I think Jokaste is a bit haunted by this newfound knowledge. She's like, is this what Damen expects? Mentally calculating how she should behave. In my head, the Jokaste/Damen relationship included a lot of calculations and mental gymnastics on her side — studying what Damen wanted, understanding when going against expectations would get her noticed in a good way and when it might backfire, and so on — this is the beginning of one of those moments. Lykaios is just there! Which feels kind of depressing to type out but her role in this fic is to really Be There in the Sexy Lamp way, and kind of as a looming presence of Damen's role in everything.

“My lady,” she said, and her voice was calm and meek, and dutiful. Everything about this had been dutiful, for her. “At the end, I haven’t – that is not how we’re instructed to kiss the Exalted. But perhaps it would be different, for you.” “Perhaps,” said Jokaste. She really did want that hot bath right now; she felt cold all over.

I think this about sums up the whole #vibe.

Turns out that I had a lot more to say about this fic than I thought, thank you So much for asking about it!! Also now I am thinking about Jokaste again whose child was it in the end

[fanfic writers director’s cut meme!]

[gard3nias]

13| The Titanic

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wc: 7.31k

date: 07/09/2024

mdi // masterlist // playlist

—Now playing: Lucid Dream by Aespa ✫

Two hours away from midday, four from the school's day end.

Outside, only metres away, the bus had just parked at the terminal and its driver left all the doors open as they came out to give their body a break from continuously sitting down.

The environment around them was almost quiet. From time to time, the line of its constancy wavered oh-so-slightly whenever a toddler's squeal would escape the kindergarten walls.

As aforementioned, the big building at the end of the road seemed to welcome only silence since it contained teenagers who are expected to be more mature than the preteens in the next building, the kids in the other and the toddlers in the kindergarten but things were meant to be a bit different for now and it's not about their maturity.

It has started once again like it does every year.

Finally, someone opened the door and October was warmly welcomed inside. It kindly smiled back and Cold Breeze, Warm-coloured Dry Leaves, Half-naked Trees, Dimly Bright Days and Dark Late Afternoons slowly made their way in as well.

That day, exactly, was dimly bright with clouds coming and going, lowering the town's brightness. The breeze causing their movement was soft and therefore they moved slowly, shying the sun of space to shine. It has gone on like this for over a week now. Every time a television, a radio or just any communication device was turned on, the weather forecast would say the same thing. This year Autumn made its entrance gracefully and beautifully, peacefully even.

The high school couldn't relate though. While October behaved, well, like itself, ambitious teenage students were working with their respective teams to be elected by their fellows and represent their school.

At first sight, one could argue it all revolves around the simple title and the ego boost one gets once they receive it but it was genuinely about the students, about making their wishes come true. They had no blue genie with a funny beard to do that for them. They had to turn themselves into one—or a makeshift—in order to reach the heights that would give them a better overview of circumstances.

The students walked along the hallways with snacks in their hands. Their heads looked up to read the flyers and banners on the walls, and they were mentally collecting the number of people running in the campaign. They still had five minutes to go before the bell would ring and they'd have to retire to their respective classrooms.

It was a bit chaotic: some unserious students were rather minding their business somewhere else or making fun of their fellows' efforts in creating their banners and flyers; other interested students would stop to read and comment with their friends; in the meantime, the ambitious students would be standing next to their banners ready to clear any misunderstanding or answer to any question—and also for simple appearance.

This was the school right from the first week of October.

Now, it was the second week and the hectic environment had changed into something more controlled and it stressed the ambitious students a tad bit. Some showed it, others didn't. Adrielle fell under this category and there's nothing Taehyung wouldn't do to borrow that skill.

Because of the campaign, he and Adrielle had to take the bus earlier than usual so they could get to school and have time to set up their stand. Yes, the ambitious students were instructed to create their stands from where they could hand out flyers and handmade merch to gain popularity and therefore more votes. This cooled down the chaos from the previous week.

That morning, Jimin's eyes were puffy, his lips even puffier, when the bus stopped by his house and opened. Adrielle chuckled when she saw how distraught he appeared as he made his way to them. Taehyung couldn't muster enough energy to laugh or react at all because he was in the same situation but instead of having puffy eyes, he had stressed eyes which needed to be taken care of by wearing his glasses also to school and not just at home. Adrielle seemed like the odd one out around them because she was glowing, always smiling.

Thankfully for everyone, Jimin's eyes' puffiness faded away by the time they made it to their school. The place was empty, not fully but noticeably. The gates were opened just enough to let the few interested students in. As they went up the hill, another puffy-eyed person came into their view.

Jungkook was a mess and that is just to put it nicely, a severe understatement. Never in his life had he had to get up so early and do so many things on top of it. In the trunk of his car was everything they needed to set up their stand. Again, Adrielle stuck out like a sore thumb amongst them as she giddily went in, started taking the planks from the trunk and headed to the gazebo set up by the running tracks in the vast green land within the school's fence.

"I can't believe I won't get paid for this," Jungkook mumbled, planks in his arms. When they got to the gazebo, there was just one rival team busy building their stand. They paid them no attention as they stopped for a millisecond to choose the right spot before heading forward.

With the tools from the box Jimin carried, within twenty minutes, the stand was set, standing in all its pride. Adrielle was so happy she started clapping and giddily jumping like a baby causing her friends to smile as well despite all the tiredness lacing every inch of their body.

"This is the first time I saw you so happy, jeez," Jungkook spoke again as he helped Jimin put the tools back in the box.

"Obviously! It looks so pretty. Thank you!" she replied before taking her weighty backpack where she'd placed everything needed to decorate the stand. Jungkook and Jimin momentarily left to keep the box in the car while Taehyung and Adrielle dived into the decoring. They had to hurry up because the clock was ticking, other students were arriving and classes would start soon.

In the meantime, around a week earlier, Daphne was messily bolting down the stairs of her home with her hoodie hanging by her arm, the same holding her backpack and phone held to her ear with the other shoulder. On the other end of the phone was Cleo in a very similar situation, hurriedly clearing the table from everything she used for breakfast and rushing with her things to the entrance so she could put her shoes on.

That morning, there was no adult available to drive them to school and life decided it was the perfect day for time to rush faster and have them stress about missing the bus.

When Daphne succeeded in putting her shoes on, she immediately ended the phone call, slung her backpack over the shoulder and ran out, closing the gate in a chaotic way. A few steps away, Cleo was doing the same thing, increasing her speed when she heard Daphne scream for her to hurry up. In a split second, they were both running down the hill, out of their neighbourhood and onto the side of the road.

The sky was similar to a summer morning. The sun's bright rays enhanced the clouds' shape. Birds were chirping, leaves were moving. The only difference was in the slightly fresher breeze lingering in the air.

"Fuck, it's right there!" Cleo screamed, seeing the bus coming from behind them. The girls increased their speed even further, hair flying in the air, backpacks threatening to fall off their shoulders and legs feeling like they wanted to give out on them. Right at that moment, the bus drove past them but the stop was just a few feet away from them so luckily for them, as the bus slowed down, stopped, opened the doors and other passengers got on, the girls had enough time to catch up and get on before the doors closed once again.

Their self-assigned seats were empty as usual. The girls were breathing heavily and laughing too as they walked down to the back of the bus, trying not to trip and fall since it already started moving. Once they made it safely, they flopped down on the seats with hair strands already sticking to their foreheads and heavy huffs of air coming out their mouths.

"Oh, my God! Never... again," Daphne forced out, chest going up and down to take in as much oxygen as it could. Cleo chuckled, "I don't even know how it happened," she complained before sitting up better. Daphne chuckled back but it caused her to cough, simultaneously making Cleo laugh even harder. Daphne smacked her friend's lap urging her to stop laughing because it was causing her to laugh and cough even more.

When they both calmed down, breathing and body temperature-wise, they got into their hobbies: crocheting and reading. While Cleo stayed focused on her activity with an airpod in, playing soft music, Daphne couldn't focus on hers, lifting her eyes off her book whenever the bus would stop and open the doors.

It's been days since she hasn't Taehyung nor his blonde friend and she was curious as to why. She loves Cleo and her company so much but it's boring compared to all the rush of emotions and butterflies she'd get whenever the boy was there and she was missing it. She'd check a few times and as the bus would get fuller, the number of passengers wouldn't allow her to see well so she'd finally give up and focus on the open book in her hands.

If only she knew what was really going on. Neither Cleo nor her friends were too invested in the electoral campaign. They just knew that it was on from the first week of October but they were oblivious to all the stress it put the ambitious students through.

The tired-eyed friends, Jimin and Taehyung, had been working on the presentation every day since the beginning of the month. Jimin had been sleeping off at Taehyung's for days now. Since the first week, Jimin had been rushing past his home sitting next to Taehyung on the bus as they headed to his home. Once they'd arrived, Taehyung would prepare lunch with his friend, switching between helping him out and playing with his dog. After lunch, they'd have a little power nap because that's what a full stomach does to you.

Once awake, they'd immediately get to work, looking for inspiration from the Internet, taking necessary pictures and working on how to set the presentation itself.

Almost on the opposite end of their home, in hers, Avyanna was dressed comfortably with her glasses on, partly lying on her couch as she watched another teen movie about cheerleading on her iPad. On the coffee table by her were various snacks and drinks to her reach so she wouldn't need to get up every minute—unless she had to ease herself into the bathroom. Snuggled between her body and the couch was a little notebook where she wrote down various things she found helpful to her case. At the same time, her phone occasionally buzzed as messages came from a new little group chat she had created with a few other friends of hers who could lead the auditions with her.

At last, a few blocks from her place was Jungkook working on making his house good enough to welcome an important party—yeah, usually his parties were for simple fun but now it was also for an electoral campaign. With help from his father, he'd hired a few people to work on a few parts of the house he didn't find exactly good enough for the party. He planned to share the party into two parts: the first one would go from its beginning to the end of the evening and it would include the welcoming of the guests, a good presentation from Adrielle once all the guests had arrived and dinner; the second part would go from the end of the evening to the end of the night and it comprised everything one does at a teen party like drinking, beer pong, music and hook-ups.

The first part was essentially for Adrielle and the second for Taehyung—him included because he'd never deny himself a good time.

He just had to make all the necessary spaces available and back it up with the right staff service. Occasionally, Jimin would pass by his house since he'd offered to help with the food.

—Now playing: The Unforgiven by Metallica ✫

Other than all this activity for the campaign, the first week of October felt hectic to Daphne because she'd have to take her physics test on the very ship-sinking topic she'd been struggling to understand.

In between hanging out with friends and running house chores, Daphne also prioritised her studies—placing physics at the top of the list out of all the subjects.

As October inched closer and closer, she had to pass on various hang-outs with her friends because the anxiety was growing on her. The wall behind her desk was littered with little Post-it notes about the topic—her bathroom mirror was not spared. Everything she did revolved around that topic so much so even the book she reads in the morning on the bus had to be momentarily replaced by her physics notes.

The official day was Friday.

That morning, she woke up an hour earlier than usual just so she could revise everything as she had breakfast. Once the hour hand pointed at six, she went upstairs to shower and get dressed. One can already imagine what she was doing as she took on those tasks. She was mumbling physics formulas and definitions so much it spiked her parents' attention as they asked her what was going on. "Physics test today," she quickly answered before resuming her activity.

Luckily for her, Cleo was just in the same mood to revise, so they both talked about physics as they went to school. Since the test was right in the morning, at the first hour of the day, once they got to class, they weren't the only ones revising. Their classmates were repeating formulas and definitions to each other as they separated the desks and got everything they needed to undertake the test.

Daphne's desk already presented two pens, a pencil, a rubber, a calculator and the paper she'd need to make all her calculations while she revised with Asher. Cleo decided to repeat a few things to the other two because they were so dumb they made her feel smarter—give my girl her little moment to shine.

As soon as the bell rang, Mr Keeley walked in, a bag in one hand while the other held a pile of papers. He waited for everyone to sit down but explained a few rules in the meantime.

Daphne was feeling a bit confident. She'd revised so much for this and from her little moment with Asher, she deducted that she was ready. He told her as well. In fact, he told her that there was no way she'd fail her test. Yeah, she smiled at that but it quickly vanished when she remembered something else: she remembered everything right now for the test but in order to not forget any, she'd have to forget anxiety.

When the test was handed to her, she immediately got into it, writing her answers almost robotically to the easy first questions about the theory. Her head hovered over the test. Nothing could distract her, at least nothing coming from her surroundings. No one could disturb her in that moment if not herself—or something from herself.

She read the score points next to each exercise and noticed how the theory questions weighed less and the exercise with the highest score point was a long one she decided was right to leave for last. So she solved the first one. It was easy. No confusion. No random scribbles in her view. No gibberish. No shuffling of letters. No holes in the ship.

She still had two exercises to go and moved on to the next 'easy' exercise which differed from the previous one for having an extra question, A and B. The first part was easy, she solved it as fast as she did with the first exercise. The second part is when the ship started wavering.

The more she read, the more it got confusing. The answer would come into her mind as fast as it disappeared. It happened the first time, the second and the third time. She knew where this could lead so she stopped for a moment, dropped her pen on the desk and cupped her face, rubbing it to calm herself. Eyes closed and deep breaths. Once she felt ready, once again, she took the pen, another last deep breath and read the second part all over again.

Mentally encouraging herself, she wrote a few things down on her paper to organise her thoughts before connecting everything somehow and starting to solve the problem but as she did so, typing numbers on her calculator, all the connections suddenly broke, leaving out only weak and shattered strings. Her forehead wrinkled as everything slowly started losing all sense.

It took her nothing to start questioning everything she knew. "Was it all a lie? Did I gaslight myself into believing I was ready? But Asher told me there's no way I could fail and that means that I'm ready, right? Right? What happened? What's happening to me?"

What was happening to Daphne was another moment when she let anxiety take control of her senses. As soon as the problem got too complicated and the answer wasn't as obvious, she felt like her brain started malfunctioning and everything she knew disappeared in thin air.

The more she questioned herself, the more blows she got, almost eradicating the bottom half of the ship. It's definitely sinking.

Anyone looking in from the outside could tell that, one, whatever she was reading on that sheet was very complicated or, two, she was trying to recollect her thoughts and struggling to do so. It was most likely the second option.

She lifted her head off the sheet and looked around for her friends. Cleo was busy writing, Asher did the same. Nick was typing on his calculator and James had just stopped staring into nothing to write whatever he was thinking about on his paper. Was she the only one having it hard right now?

She refused to ponder too much on the problem and decided it was right to move on to the next despite it being the most difficult part of the whole test. Eyes closed, deep breaths and she dived in, trying her best to take control of the steering wheel so anxiety wouldn't lead her straight into a brick wall.

Skip to a few days later, it was Wednesday, the second day of the hour, just before break time. The nine o'clock bell had already rang and the teacher left to attend their next class while the students prepared for their next one. The preparation wasn't the usual one where you'd remove a certain subject's notebook and exercise book to bring out another one's. There was a 99.9% chance Mr Keeley had checked the tests and would hand them out—especially considering that Daphne's classroom comprised few students.

Daphne was fidgeting in her seat, seemingly the only person in her friend group worried over it. She sat on the edge of the chair. Couldn't afford comfort because her insides were having an Olympic gymnastics performance, her anxiety being the puppeteer master. She'd fully tied her hair back because if she ever were to be disturbed even by the smallest hair strand, her stress could lead her to make herself bald. Her hands were together between her thighs, occasionally coming out only to rub on them. Her lower lip was partly between her teeth as she picked on the chopped skin or bit her inner cheeks. She wasn't sweaty. Okay, she probably was, but it was certainly cold at least from how one could tell seeing all the goosebumps texturing her arms. Or maybe it could just be the chilly Autumn breeze. Who knows?

The classroom wasn't either too noisy or silent but just as busy as any classroom with anxious students could be. When it totally quieted down, all playful and inattentive students understood that Mr Keeley had arrived. Daphne wasn't among them—she was probably the first to see the teacher.

"Good morning," his dry tone greeted, gaining a similar response, the only difference was that he was his usual self while the students were anxious and momentarily lost their voices.

"As I think all of you suspect, I have graded your tests but before I hand them out, I must say a few things." Daphne, along with a handful of her classmates, gulped down saliva, fidgeted a bit more in their seats and increased their attention.

"It wasn't the best... especially since it's the first test of the year. Just not a good way to start," his dry voice spoke. Dry but surely not as much as Daphne's throat. Right at that moment, flashbacks from the day of the test started overwhelming her brain. "How many mistakes did I make? Are they enough for me to fail the test?"

There was a similar reaction across the classroom. Some hissed or complained out loud, others remained silent just as she was. With that said, Mr Keeley proceeded to sit down and open his register where he'd write the marks as he handed out the tests. "They are not in alphabetical order so..." he spoke again before putting his glasses on and clearing his constantly dry voice.

"Oh, my God," she heard Cleo sigh next to her. Daphne was looking straight ahead at the pile of papers among which was hers with hopefully a sufficient grade marked in red.

She flinched a little when Mr Keeley called the first surname. As the girl went up to his desk, he registered her grade next to her surname and handed out the test. Everyone's eyes moved to the girl's face to see if she'd have a happy or a sad expression. She simply watched the paper in her hands, showing no emotion.

"That can't be good," Daphne thought to herself, sitting closer and closer to the edge of the chair. The next surname was called and that's how it went on till it was Asher's turn. All his friends followed his movement with their eyes as he got up, walked to the desk, and checked his test while Mr Keeley registered the grade. Again, no real reaction.

"Are they all this bad or is it just Asher?" Daphne immediately questioned herself while Cleo verbally asked her friend how it went. The response was: "Not bad but not good as well."

"What do you mean by 'not good'? Is it objectively not good or just not how you usually perform—" Cleo's surname was called. With bulging eyes, she moved her chair back to make way for herself.

Daphne's eyes followed her friend and once the grade was seen, Cleo scrunched her face. "Okay, that's certainly not good," Daphne mentally said.

"I wasn't expecting it to be like this," Cleo admitted once back at her desk. The number sitting in the top corner of her paper was five-and-a-half. Daphne's eyes bulged out, curious as well as to why. She revised with Cleo during their trip from home to school. Cleo was prepared, certainly not as much as she was because she wasn't as anxious but enough to get a good grade. Yes, a good grade, not just a sufficient one. Before Daphne could make all the connections she wanted or try to comfort her friend, her surname was called.

The feeling that settled within her was urging her to stop by the trash can on the right and throw up but she pushed through. By the time she was standing next to Mr Keeley, he'd already marked her grade on his register and simply handed the paper to her without uttering a word or even looking her in the face. She didn't know what force or power flowed through her whole arm and reached her fingers enough to let her collect that paper but she was able not to let the paper drop to the floor. The last thing she'd want to deal with is embarrassment from such a scene—it would hunt her all life long.

Her sight was getting blurry and she was thankful—anything not to see that ugly number in red. With almost nothing left within her, she walked back to her desk and slumped down on the chair as Cleo stretched to see the grade. She didn't mean to gasp loudly hence the hand on her mouth but she also never thought that all that effort she'd seen Daphne put in this topic would be in vain. She didn't speak though, just went on with her life to give her friend the much-needed space.

Daphne's eyes were full of tears, glowing in ugly pride. They were so full but she didn't dare to let anyone slip out. Like muscle memory, her hand went to the back of her head to remove the rubber band holding her hair and all the pins keeping her bangs back so, from the side, no one could see her face. No one would see her break down. No one would see her feel broken and ashamed for letting anxiety get the best of her, again.

It didn't take long before Mr Keeley finished handing out all the tests and was looking at all the grades written on his register.

"As you all know, a lot of you failed the test and it can't remain like that." His voice suddenly changed and became cold as he opened his agenda and took a black pen.

"Since many of you failed it, I'll give you above a month to prepare and that leaves us... in the last week of November. I'm giving you this much time meaning that there won't be any second chances. The study is autonomous but you can always ask me questions. Until then, we'll move on to the next topic."

Daphne felt very irritated. By her hair, because she wanted it out of her face but also in so no one would see her. By the ugly red number that wouldn't go away from her paper or memory. By Mr Keeley's monotonous voice. How could such a sound be so flat but still deviate and hit sensitive nerves? She was also irritated by the stupid pen in her fingers that refused to function properly. Her tears painted her agenda's page darker than this fucking ink but she didn't like it. In fact, she hated it. Hated that she was crying. Hated that she failed. Hated that everything she did was in vain. Hated that she'd let anxiety write in her stead that day and she fucking hates how this stupid pen just couldn't write properly and, worse, how it looked on the wet spot a tear had just created.

"Mr Keeley, may I go to the bathroom?" she mustered all her energy to ask him the question, hoping he wouldn't look up and just give her the answer she needed. He met her expectations because he simply agreed without stopping whatever he was writing on his agenda.

Daphne got up, trying so hard to be calm. When she asked him the question her voice fortunately wasn't shaking nor her legs now as she was walking to the door, out in the hallway and to the bathroom.

The change of environment seemed to cause her tears to start flowing more and, by the time she made it to a stall and closed the door, her face was soaked. She wasn't sobbing. At least, not audibly. She was just profusely crying, nothing could stop the tears. She closed the toilet lid and sat on it, legs immediately to her chest and arms holding them close.

If anyone walked into that bathroom, they would see an occupied stall but they would never be able to tell what was happening behind the door because there was pure silence. Daphne wasn't breathing hard or loudly sobbing. Her tears were just flowing like a river and it was just a matter of time before even that would start to annoy her. Just a matter of minutes before the infamous shame would dawn upon her.

She couldn't think straight at that moment. Couldn't think about what to do, how to help herself and how to make the goddamn tears stop rushing. She didn't have her phone with her else she would've tried using it as a distraction—not like it would've worked much because she's pretty stubborn, especially when Anxiety is whispering in her ear what to do and how to do it.

That emotion was a monster to her. A monster with a melodious voice to the point that it could have her do anything, anything as in letting it take control. It always had its big hands on her shoulders, long fingers clawing in her flesh whenever she tried to fight it. Daphne couldn't see its face because it was always standing behind her. She could only hear its voice. It sounded like the best things on her earth: the voice of a nice old lady who loves kids, the honey-like voice of powerhouse singers, the pleasing tingling sound of wind chimes, the harmonious result of an orchestra playing a classical song or the sound of birds chirping in the morning. It sounded like one of them but also all of them combined. Almost irresistible. Almost. What hurt was its fingers which were getting deeper and deeper into Daphne's shoulders. It would be easy to stop listening to the voice. The real problem was that painful, strong and bloody grip. It seemed like if Daphne ever were to let it go, it would do anything in its power to scar her. A reminder of how weak she used to be.

Daphne was alone in all of this. Dayanne knew but not enough to really help her. To fall into the ultra dimension where the only existent beings were her sister and the monster. The dimension was empty, null of any life or colour. Just Daphne sat on a chair as if tied to it. The real 'rope' that was tying her was the deeply buried fingers in her shoulders, holding her down. The only fingers out of her flesh were the thumbs used by the monster to rub and ease the pain. To tempt Daphne more and have her succumb to its requests.

In this world, the only life was within Daphne who was aware. Her eyes showed emotions. Her mouth screamed for help but she was weak so her eyes showed nothing to the people around her and her voice wasn't loud enough to breach the end of the dimension and reach out for help.

No one really knew about her struggles. Everybody could generally say that she was an anxious person and that is where it stopped.

Her friends right now, didn't think she was trying to set herself free from the claws of a monster. They simply thought she was sad, as sad as anyone whose efforts resulted in vain. So they were thinking of ways to help their friend.

In their group only Asher's grade was sufficient. He'd taken a borderline 6. Cleo took a 5.5 while Nick and James took a 5.25. Daphne's grade was the lowest. A clean-cut five. For any student not as diligent as her, five would be a nice grade, not too bad but Daphne had bent herself over backwards to study and get a good grade. A five would be good for someone who really didn't put in the effort, someone who isn't Daphne.

The four friends were texting in a separate group created just for this reason. They planned to do something to lift their friend's mood up.

James dropped the first proposal: buying her something from the bar, a sweet snack or a sandwich. Cleo cleared it out of the way because she was certain Daphne wouldn't be feeling hungry.

The second proposal was given by Nick: since they had PE class the last two hours of the day, as they ran on the tracks, they should play with her. Tickles, soft pushes and little pokes in the side. The idea was taken into consideration but Cleo always reminded them it possibly wouldn't work depending on how sad she was.

So Asher brought his to the table: a lunch in the park after school. At first, Cleo wanted to object, thinking that Daphne would want to go straight home but she didn't and they all agreed on that.

Right when they turned their devices off, Daphne walked in, looking normal. Good at masking emotions—a skill she'd already mastered with experience.

—Now playing: Ballon d'Or by Gemitaiz ft Nayt ✫

"Which park are we going to exactly?"

Less than five minutes were left before the bell would ring and the day would come to an end for the students. The school gym, which once contained running and jumping students, was now empty and subtly silent. The PE teacher had just opened all its doors and windows to change the air before finishing with a few of their tasks. Adjacent to the gym were the changing rooms, boys on the left and girls on the right from where students would come out one by one, greeting the teacher and heading to the exit.

James, Asher and Nick were already standing by the exit, waiting for their friends to finish so they could leave.

"You gotta give me a minute. I have to call my mother."

Their plan didn't work. Daphne didn't participate in the lesson and just told the teacher she wasn't feeling fine. As they ran warm-up laps around the gym, whenever they'd pass by her, they tried to cheer her up by making jokes or funny faces but the most they would receive was a quick little smile that barely altered her lips. She was very sad and Cleo was very worried for her hence her lack of focus during the last two hours.

Once the teacher dismissed the class and urged everyone to change, the friends concluded they had to go with Asher's plan.

"So, it's not exactly a park. It's just a green field with a good view—"

"It's perfect! Where is it?" The boys were whispering to each other because they didn't know when Cleo and Daphne would turn around the corner and reach them. With his eyes on his phone, Asher scrolled through his gallery looking for the picture of the field and once he did, he called for his friends to see it. Three heads hovered over the device as James and Nick expressed their surprise. "Damn, it's beautiful,"

"Fucking perfect. Is it too far from school? How do we get there?" Nick questioned.

"By train. It's like a stop before the amusement park," Asher looked up at his friends to see if they found the distance a problem and they kind of did.

"How the fuck do we get to the train station? How would we go about the tickets and shit?"

"The tickets ain't a problem and the train station is twenty minutes away by foot. We can... we can do it," Asher had already calculated everything that's why he brought it up at all.

"Then what about the food? How would we go about that?" James was the one to ask this time around.

"We could stop at the mall and buy picnic stuff. It'll be cute. Y'all have nothing to worry about," Nick and James exchanged glances, not fully opposed to it nor fully agreeing.

"You sure?"

"A hundred fucking per cent but I have to call my mother first and at least know if I can take money from the credit card—"

"Then why the fuck are you still here?!" Nick quietly screamed but within seconds, Asher's patience ran out and he didn't even bother to answer. He just rushed outside to call his mom.

"Sorry, Asher just went out to answer a call," James reassured the teacher who heard the door open and close but didn't see what or who went out or came in.

It was a matter of seconds before the girls were exiting their changing rooms. The first one was Daphne who, since she didn't participate in the class, was already dressed, hoodie on and backpack hanging by one shoulder. She was leaning on the wall opposite the changing rooms' entrance waiting for Cleo to finish and join her.

In the meantime, James and Nick were getting nervous because they feared they might not be able to go through with this other plan. Yet again.

"Why the fuck didn't he call his mother before? He had the whole fucking day to do this. We planned this shit in the morning," Nick whispered. James couldn't come up with an answer to that and silently looked outside the glass windows in the gym's door where Asher was walking up and down whilst talking on the phone.

"I don't fucking know," he finally replied, sighing and ripping his eyes off his friend to look at Nick, "I ain't the smart one. He is!" he whispered back in frustration. Nick just leaned on the wall and crossed both his arms and legs, hoping for the best.

"I just know that if this doesn't work, I don't know what could happen to Daph—"

"Why are you talking like she'll kill herself or something? It's stupid physics—"

"Yeah, and I wish she saw it the same way. Did you see her face when she took that fucking paper in her hands? My girl was about to drop dead right then and there," Nick was still silently yelling.

Before thinking of a reply, James moved his eyes to Daphne's figure across the gym. She was still leaning on the wall, curtain bangs preventing anyone from his position to really make out her side profile. She looked like a normal teenage student at that moment: legs crossed, one arm across her torso while the other held her phone. All normal but her friends knew her despite the little time she's been living here. She's been way too normal that day. They knew how hard she studied for the test and they knew, just like anyone else really, how bad it hurts to see your efforts go in vain. But they also knew that Daphne's reaction wasn't the one anyone would expect after such an event.

James remembers what happened in the library, remembers how pissed she was both at them and at the stupid physics topic. He can clearly remember that he wasn't happy to see her walk out of the library but at that moment he thought it was right to let her go, give her peace. Right now... he knew that the apparent peace she was showing was just masking a terrible thunderstorm of emotions within her.

He, just like his friends, would not try to force her to get comfortable and open up to them about everything because it wouldn't be comfortable both for her and them. So their best option was to lift up her mood and get her distracted. If then she'd want to open up, then so be it. Everything has its own time.

"Let's just hope we can go through with this plan—"

"Okay, we're good to go," Asher walked back in, the door slamming close behind him. Nick and James's expressions changed instantly and their mood lit up a bit. They didn't have the chance to celebrate or congratulate their friend before Cleo and Daphne walked up to them, Cleo's eyes bouncing from one to another.

Since it was just a matter of moments before the bell rang, they asked the teacher for permission to leave, and once given, they gave their greetings and left, walking out on the stone path leading to the gates where some of their classmates already were, waiting for the gates to open.

"So... I was hoping that we could hang out today..." Nick started, putting up a little play. His friends immediately got the message.

"I'm down," James immediately agreed. Everything seemed normal: Nick is always the first to ask to hang out and James is always the one to agree first. They just had to follow the normal order.

"I'm free right now so yeah, I guess I'm in too," Asher agreed second. Nothing different, just his usual demeanour.

"I don't really think so," Daphne spoke. Nick's neck snapped in her direction, already fearing for the worst. "I just don't feel like it—"

"Daph, it's just a way to loosen up and forget about this disgusting physics test which has me wondering if Mr Keeley really graded us correctly," Cleo finally joined. James glanced in her direction because he didn't want their motive to be so obvious and, worse, explained to her but indeed the test didn't go well for basically all of them and they all could use a good time too.

"I know right? Like... Asher got a six and almost everyone didn't pass. The highest grade in class today was 6.75 from Valerie. Like what the fuck?" Daphne didn't know what her friends were doing, no suspicions. She didn't know that for as much as the conversation seemed normal, there was more to it. She simply listened, trying to draw sense out of their opinions and look for any source of comfort.

She mentally agreed with them though. She wasn't the only one to fail the test, neither in their friend group nor the class as a whole.

"Surely Mr Keeley is to blame as well seeing the results," she spoke quietly, almost just to herself, unaware of how happy that made her friends because she was participating in the conversation and wasn't putting the full blame on herself.

"Fuck yeah if he's to blame. I told you! Brother doesn't know how to fucking teach and it showed so much this time because the topic isn't so easy to understand," James simply went by what he always believed of Mr Keeley and Daphne nodded to his words. Zero suspicions.

"So, are you down for a hangout today?" Nick was the one to ask. Daphne really wasn't in the mood to hang out but she also knew that if she went home she wouldn't find Dayanne there and therefore no one to talk to about the real problem. She'd still be alone... with her thoughts, with the guilt and with that fucking monster. She'd rather not.

"Cleo you coming?" she replied with a question. Cleo eagerly nodded and with that, Daphne decided to join them, telling them she'd just text her mom about it.

As her fingers worked on the screen, moving from her home screen to Whatsapp and on to her mother's contact, her friends were side-eyeing each other, happy to have succeeded and complimenting each other for their acting skills.

Daphne's mom didn't take long before she replied, wishing her daughter a great hangout and warning her to be safe. A quick little reply from the girl and the phone was turned off and slipped back into her pocket.

"I'm in too." The hardest part of the job was done.

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[senka-mesecine]

Adding a little wholesomeness into the mix but what do you think about each of the men dancing with the reader? Whether they like dancing, how they dance, how the reader would get them to dance, etc

Idea comes from the scene of elias’ squad all dancing together :)

-

― Barnes doesn't dance. Categorically doesn't. Can't be talked into it. Won't be talked into it. To him, it's a civilian pursuit far too removed from military rigidity and structure (dare I say, an activity reserved for peacetime and for someone in his constantly warlike state of mind, it's an alien concept he won't indulge in) and as a result, he has no interest in any of it. Gotta weirdly respect a man who's that blunt about it. No beating around the bush. But if you ever insisted it's a trap you dig mainly for yourself because he'll have you dancing for him while he sits and watches, which is how it rightfully should be in his opinion. Wanted to dance? Fair enough. So dance then. Radio's on. Have at it. What's wrong? Having stage fright? He'll probably light a cigarette or bust out a bottle while you do like it's his own private show, which it is. For his eyes only. Ain't sharing any of this with anyone. He doesn't say anything while you do. Doesn't talk. Doesn't mock. Doesn't comment. Just watches, never taking his eyes off of you. Undoubtedly turns into a habit. You dance when he says and you stop when he says.

― O'Neill behaves like he's the dance king of Astoria himself when the subject of dancing rears its head, acting like he's got way better moves than he actually does; that's meaning to say that due to his braggadocious nature he thinks he's a far better dancer than he genuinely is and he'll be here twirling and turning you around like he's on stage somewhere in front of an audience, fully immersed into the act and all smiles as it happens, undoubtedly cheering you on and stuttering nervy praises your way the entire time, refusing to shut up because look at you and him go. He'd be so animated. A bit like an arrogant peacock. Probably looks a little ridiculous to the outside observer due to how into it this dude gets, but in his own mind's eye, Red's just beaming. Saturday Night Fever step aside, because Red O'Neill's under the spotlight! Talks about the whole event to others non stop in the aftermath of it. Nobody gets to hear the end of it and the (supposed) O'Neill rizz. Probably embellishes everything too making it seem like he danced your pants off of you, while it could've been the other way around.

― For Bunny, dancing is a great excuse to get sexual, so of course he wants to dance and wants you to dance with him. Or for him. On him? Either ways, it's great. When are you starting? Will you be removing some clothes as you do? Because he can slip off his shirt if you slip off yours. Is this gonna be a striptease? Because he'd like a striptease. Can he grind up against your butt? Your crotch? Can he get handsy? Because he will in fact, get handsy. He's told Junior, in sordid details what he'd intend to do with you if a situation just like this arouse and he wants to make at least half of it come true. Not even halfway through that dance, his erection is probably pressing into your thigh, your ass or literally wherever else is most convenient for Bunny and he won't even hide the fact, in fact, he'll have the smarmiest smile as it happens, so good luck trying to keep a dance just a dance because to him it's literally foreplay. What do you mean he gets to be body against body with you and not get some pussy afterwards too?

― Chris Taylor can probably ballroom dance but he'd rather eat dirt than ever admit it because it would also mean admitting he's unlike everyone else and a bit of a sheltered ex-college rich boy with the subdued, polished manners of one when you start peeling back at him; what he does is hide the fact by dancing like a bit of a dweeb, possibly on purpose (and as a statement of internal rebellion) and because he sees it as a distancing from the way he was raised --- meaning that in direct opposition of someone like, say, O'Neill who thinks he dances far better than he actually does Christ genuinely deliberately dances way worse than he really could. He'll be there jumping around, having a blast, grooving like your everyman with you and it's a good, fun-loving experience, yeah, one he doesn't ever shrink from either but what you don't know is that if someone played this guy a waltz, he'd shockingly know exactly what to do and he'd dance your legs off. But, that's a well-kept secret nobody knows about him.

― Wolfe is a another surprisingly good dancer, in the theoretical sense anyhow, probably knows more about the history of dance than actual dancing practically speaking because I don't think a guy wearing a signet ring during war would come from a family and background that wouldn't take an interest in ensuring he's educated in the skill and pastime of the upper class, but that being said, it's his own nervousness, clumsiness and lack of practice makes him seem far worse than he is as he's out here stepping on your toes, anxiously half-smiling. Not that he'll stop. He'll probably continue and have at it until he gets it right and when he gets it right, he instantly switches tact and starts getting a bit cocky and arrogant about it, as in, look at me go --- the attentions all on him and he's eating it up. Mark Wolfe's done right and he's got a beautiful someone on his arm and they said it couldn't be done. He's peacocking himself and peacocking you. It's more about the feeling dancing evokes and the needs it feeds him why he likes more than the actual dancing. He's in charge and the center of attention and he's starved for that. Wants it constantly.

― Jesus Christ, dancing with Rhah is actual filth to the degree it might as well be classified as foreplay; he'll be there gripping your hips close to him, gliding hands all over your body, feeling you, face to face, noses nearly touching, all slow, sensual and intimate to the degree anyone onlooking might just...you know...look away. And he's so good at it too. Probably whispers into your ear during the whole thing, turning you on or making you flustered. Guy isn't nearly this good of a dancer when he's dancing with the other men for shits and giggles and plain bonding, but with you? Baby, it's like the seduction factor's amped up to eleven and he's somehow the most suave man in existence and there's no telling where, when or how he learned this. Kizomba, Tango, you name it and Vermucci can preform it flawlessly with you. Sometimes, he'll just casually ask for a dance and do it until you nearly feel like falling asleep in the crook of his neck or vice versa, making it a genuinely heavenly experience.

― As opposed to someone like Barnes, King will dance even if you stand still and it's genuinely a flirtation tactic for him and a way to make you laugh at his silly antics if nothing else. He might be there, snapping his fingers, smiling at you suggestively, busting out some moves, doing circles around you while you stand and try not to smile back as he encourages you, telling you he knows you got it in you. It's just that King's genuinely so happy around you man can't help but start dancing and he'd be a fool if he made an effort to hide it; he's not the best that ever was, not the worst that ever was either, it's just that his energy and how joyous he is when he does it is so infectious you can't help but admire it and want to join in regardless of your own skill level, and same goes for everyone else as well who see King dance. People sort of forget and overlook that he's dancing around jokingly because he just beams as it happens. Baby, it's a good life if only just try. And he feels he's got a whole lot to dance because of. You mean being chief among these things.

― Elias? Elias shockingly more similar to Barnes than either him and Barnes will ever know or even admit when it comes to dancing and the sole difference being that while Elias wants to dance, loves to dance, isn't opposed to it in the least bit and will gladly indulge in dance whenever, wherever and however, no matter the style, tempo or rhythm he just about prefers you dancing for him more than anything else in the world, regardless how skillful or not you really are; in any case, he finds it endearing because it's you, even if you're clumsy around the feet. It all makes him grin, really because you're so cute. He likes to lay back on his hammock, lounge on somewhere comfortable, lay up, put up his feet, have a smoke, have a snack, smile at you lovingly as he watches you do your little number for him. It's some of the keenest pleasures in life and he thinks that him getting involved and joining you can only ruin the sight, although he does adore joining you. Serves a genuine mood-fixer and way for him to unwind; having his girl dance. He'd live his whole life doing nothing but that with you if he could and he'd be happy.

[ciaossu-imagines]

How do you think Kusanagi would deal with his partner's jealousy and how does he handle his own?

Im in absolute awe of your incredible writing skills 🥰🌸

Thank you so much for the amazing compliment and the interesting ask, my lovely anon! I appreciate both and hope you’ll enjoy reading my thoughts on this!

So, I think first I really want to focus on jealousy when it comes to Izumo himself. He’s not a jealous man, not by his nature. To be honest, a lot of jealousy, when it comes to romantic relationships, is based on insecurities. Kusanagi is very secure in who he is. On top of that, he’s a womanizer. He knows he’s attractive physically, he knows he can easily find a romantic partner. None of those things have ever come hard to him and because of that, he has a lot of confidence in himself, in his looks, and in his ability to find (if not always keep) a romantic relationship. The insecurities that normally exist with romantic jealousy just aren’t present there in Kusanagi.

Because he is a bit of a flirt, he’s also not one to really get all that upset if a romantic partner is as well. He’ll understand, because there’s nothing there when he does it besides just fun and making someone else feel good, that there’s more than likely going to be nothing to a partner’s casual flirtations and compliments to others.

It’s going to take a whole lot for Izumo’s partner to make him jealous. They would have to be really laying on the flirting thick, would have to be constantly talking about that person to him as well, and would have to be largely ignoring his own needs, turning him down on any romantic advances, and really just seem done for him to feel any jealousy.

As with all his emotions though, Kusanagi has a really good rein on his jealousy. He’s able to stay composed and calm even when feeling it and he’ll hide it really well.

However, because of how his partner is behaving, to make such a man jealous, and because he’s got too much pride and confidence to stay in a relationship that clearly isn’t working out for one or the both of them, he’s still likely to just end that relationship. He’ll be gentlemanly about it; he’ll talk to his partner over coffee or somewhere else where the two of them can talk distraction free and he’ll be polite about the breakup. He’ll do the whole ‘we can still be friends and I do still care about you’ and he will genuinely mean it.

Now, moving on to how Kusanagi would deal with a jealous partner. Because, as I said, Kusanagi flirts casually. He’s just a charmer and he likes to make others happy about themselves. He’ll give compliments, he’ll smile and charm and flirt. Half of it is who he just naturally is, since he is very charismatic, and the other half is learned behaviour that helps with his job, both as a bartender and for gathering information.

While he will obviously never be taking anyone else seriously whilst in a relationship, it’s a little understandable for a partner of his to get jealous. And he would find it cute, in a sense. He’d reassure them, tease them a little about their jealousy, but wouldn’t be concerned about it. However, that’s only if the jealousy isn’t a constant thing but more a rarity and if his partner is well-behaved about it.

He would try to make sure, in small ways, that his partner was working on their self-esteem, both in themselves and in terms of their relationship with Izumo. He’d give little, subtle assurances that he was happy and had no plans to leave them, that he thinks the world of them, but he’s not going to be able to keep that up for weeks, months at a time. At some point, the jealousy and his partner’s worry about him leaving them for someone else would burn him out and he’d be unable to continue the relationship.

On top of that, if instead of being well-behaved about their jealousy, if his partner couldn’t control their emotions and got physical with someone else they were jealous of or kept having huge hissy-fits or shouting matches with him whenever they got jealous, Kusanagi would be instantly done with the relationship. He’s an adult who wants a relationship with another adult, not a teenager in an adult’s body.

[garfeildfanpage]

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ALERT 🗣️‼️

Jk anyways hot takes have always been kind of a drama-trigger for tbhk fans generally (though most takes aren’t exactly “hot” they’re either lukewarm or just bad), but most prominently on tbhktwt, which I don’t actively participate in. But I’ve noticed that every time one of those “what’s your unpopular tbhk opinion?” Posts gets popular everyone starts fighting and it’s kindof annoying. Which for a few reasons: they just like to argue when no huge announcements are happening to make sure the fan base stays alive, or someone just has a really bad opinion (ex the toxic nene post).

Now that’s not the point and has nothing to do with what I’m about to say but I thought it’d be a fun intro.

(tldr at end and also more concise points w/o the tired rambling)

Quick side note. I’m being super serious, these are all just opinions I possess but they don’t necessarily exist in a vacuum. I mostly just want to complain about a trope I don’t like, but I’m not die-hard about any of this. So take everything I say with a grain of salt

Mitsuba, Sousuke, and what makes a character interesting

(Mitsukou cameo 2 because staying on topic is hard)

After a while, I started to develop a bit of a dislike of Mitsuba, the fake one specifically

To elaborate: During Sousuke’s introductory arc (and the only one he’s in) despite the trope-y nature of his character, his opening up during the chapters and his pre-canon connection to Kou is what, to me, made me like him more. I personally cannot stand the “cute-boy but actually he’s really mean” archetype, and it really turned me off from him in general. But I continued through it anyway. I thought the subversion of it was nice, not having him on edge and actually have a somewhat heart-to-heart was nice. And then he died whoopsie

I liked the hell of mirrors, like a lot actually. At the beginning I really liked Mitsuba, but as the series went on the traits I disliked started to shine more than the ones I liked. His stoic act around Nene at the very beginning of the hell of mirrors was the peak I strived for, but it basically never appeared again. The gruesome horror of Mitsuba lost my interest as he began to behave more human, I think. Now really all of this just comes down to personal preference. I like subversion, so I liked how Mitsuba was at the very beginning, but I never loved him. And I know that the direction his character took was always going to be the same but some part of me prayed for some kind of miracle.

He’s not human, but he wants to be, and I liked the idea a lot. But I was never able to get invested because almost every time he was in a chapter I wanted to bang my head into a wall. The the sensitivity and tact of Mitsuba isn’t lost, but I feel like a lot of it is lost when he’s around certain characters. His interactions with Nene (with a few exceptions) demonstrates how he could be if he decided to tone it down on occasion, still irritating but y’know, not as much. This falters with Kou in specific though, as he is constantly flip-flopping between defensive and annoying. If he could learn to let his guard down a little, it could really go a long way

Speaking of Kou

They are peers, they knew each other, and now only Kou remembers. Great, love it. Mitsukou, now that’s where it gets a little complicated.

As true equals, I do love them. And I know “the fandom ruined it for me” is a ballshit excuse but it genuinely does this time ‘round, and I can give a few pinpoints.

1. The constant feminization of Mitsuba

Every fandom is guilty of this at some point, and tbhk is no different. Forcible feminization of one (typically smaller or younger) male characters because they act even somewhat effeminate. And I have a right to be upset! It’s my 2nd amendment right or whatever!

2. And in tandem, the over-masculinization of Kou

His ass is fourteen!!! He ain’t buff!!! he probably still squeaks when he gets scared!! Enter that scene where Dipper is singing ABBA in the bathroom and Stan walks in except it’s Kou!!

3. General disregard of canonical characterization

Mitsuba can absolutely handle himself I’m going to kill someone

IMO mitsukou only really works if there’s an underlying understanding that 1. They’re both stupid kids. 2. They’re peers, and wether supernatural or not they are in alot of ways equals. And 3. They’re both deeply flawed.

To add onto that, Kou is indecisive about values. He wants to be an exorcist but has gotten attached to every somewhat sympathetic spirit he’s come in contact with, showing that he’s far too empathetic for the profession. He claims to understand Teru’s view on the undead yet he holds his personal judgment over his brothers consistently, for better or worse (yeah IK hanako is the title character so obviously he has to be good so why would he die but I’m just trying to think about it more literally, y’dig?). Mitsuba (the fake one) is not, and never will be, he isn’t meant to last forever. Sousuke (the dead one) Left everything unresolved, even when trying after death, nothing ever came to any conclusion, not even with his mom.

They work alone, but not yet together. But they can, it’s not too late, if given care and some intense therapy, they could totally be awkward teen romance of the summer. But the cannibalism should probably be talked about b4 that

Overall I think the general populous of Mitsukou could really benefit by trying to understand their dynamics a lil better, but what would I know I’m no yaoiologist

TL;DR (and end notes don’t forget) Basically, I wish he kept the short-lived confidence he gained in the Hell of Mirrors. I wish his cutesy-mean attitude died after as well. I also wish he wasn’t nearly as feminized as he is. (He’s not 4,9 he’s taller than Nene and would most likely be (if he didn’t die, rest in rip) the same height if not taller than Kou). Also his dynamic with Tsukasa makes me uncomfortable, like deeply so, it’s kinda really weird. ALSO(also) I think the constant comparison to Hananene is weird because the same comparison can be made to literally 90% of the other ships, why is no one ever comparing them to Terukane? Or Aoiaoi? Or Sumi6 (actually I completely understand why not sumi6 but they’re literally all human x supernatural no one is special)

Anyway the point I’m attempting to get across (while sleep deprived) is that (to me) Mitsuba as a character just doesn’t tickle my fancy and I tried my best to explain some reasons why. if you don’t agree, that’s perfectly fine! No one is entitled to agree with me.

Sorry if bad grammar I,m moments away from death Uauuughhh ninja out

[randomfandoms234]

More stuff for the bee of the multiverse TFA arc

-during the elite guard boot camp bumble was actually top of the class- due to having the knowledge and skill from the past universes which annoys the heck out of Sentinal- I think bee would remind him of Optimus a little because bee idolises Optimus as learned a lot of his skills from him

-wasp and ironhide still bully bee because wasp is jealous but stop after a little bit since bumblebee by now is a master of showing fake happiness

-after that they become semi friends not full ones because both of them genuinely dislike each other but respect is there.

-longarm/shockwave and bulkhead were close to him, ghostscream knows that longarm is a traitor but is hiding it because he want him and bee to get to neutral territory to become neutrals, this never happens since they crashed landed on earth shockwave actually semi likes the little yellow guy and is quite curious about that black matter that appears when the bug gets to upset

-as soon as bulkhead accidentally destroys a building bee goes with him knowing this is his chance to get to neutral territory surprise the rest of his platoon because bee had a bright future ahead of him

-he clicks with Sari fast as usual but is sorta weary of the other humans

-while they were repairing space bridges he got close to Optimus with history since he technically live through it multiple times. He often has to hide his snicker when he thinks about the silly things that happened during the war.

Ratchet thought bumblebee would be extreamly annoying- which he is bumblebee is still a young adult after all but is surprised by his understanding by his ptsd (haha bumblebee comforting ratchet about his ptsd when in reality bumblebee has the ptsd of the past four universes to deal with) he is really worried about the kids upbringing

-when the whole dimensional thing is revealed ratchet immeadiatly turns to bee after finding out how many wars he’s lived through , how many wars he was essentially raised in he’s out for blood he also tells ghostscream “if I find out your manipulating him in any way I will go through dimensions as well to fragging kill you again”

Bulkhead and him are best friends to bumblebee bulkhead is like a breath of fresh air as he didn’t really know a bulkhead and it’s nice to meet new people

Prowl and him still annoy the heck out of each other but bumblebee can keep quiet when prowl needs it and they become quite the chaotic duo (trio if you count ghostscream) some examples of this is

-they stole the Dinobots together bumblebee is much Better at keeping secrets than in canon

-bumblebee who just looks at the earth born bots as sparklings somehow manages to convince prowl to repair soundwave and soundwave in TFA joins the repair crew (because TFA could of done so much with this character!” ) with a lot of restrictions until soundwave learns to behave mind you

- they pick up animals from the street and hide them from the rest of the team taking care of them for like a month only other person who knew was soundwave because he was hiden in the same place as the animals

-they watch a lot of movies together whenever prowl isn’t watching a documentary

[turinspeachjam]

Steve drove for a while after ditching Tommy and Carol.

He should have realized saying that shit about Nancy and Jonathan wasn't okay. He shouldn't have let his anger get the best of him. He acted like his dad and the more Steve thought about it, the more obvious it was that Tommy and Carol had always encouraged him to behave like that. They constantly were egging him on, making him angrier and angrier until he lashed out.

He didn't want to lash out. He didn't want his so-called friends to encourage that shit. He used to be kinder, gentle. He used to be more like his mom.

It was that thought that made Steve pull over. He couldn't really see the road anymore, his vision completely blurred both by tears and the shiner Jonathan gave him. Steve couldn't remember the last time he cried like this; tears streaming down his cheeks, snot dripping from his nose, his breath growing quicker and more panicked. He felt like he was drowning.

Then someone knocked on his window and scared the shit out of him.

He turned his head to look at the intruder, hastily wiping the tears from his eyes only to wince when he accidentally touched his bruised face. It was some girl he vaguely recognized. They probably went to school together. He thought she might be in band, but he had no way of knowing unless he actually asked her. Then again, that might make the fact that she was an apparent witness to his emotional breakdown even worse. God, he did not need rumors of "Crybaby Steve" circulating the school, especially after his fallout with Tommy and Carol. Desperately trying to calm his breathing, with varying degrees of success, Steve rolled his window down.

"Can I-- Can I help you?"

His voice cracking nearly sent him spiraling again, tears welling up once more.

"Is there a reason you picked my front lawn to shatter to pieces or am I just that lucky?"

He couldn't tell if it was the bluntness of her words, the deadpan delivery, or just the fact that she had the audacity to joke about the whole thing. Whatever it was, Steve burst out laughing. He sounded hysterical to his own ears, but it was a hell of a lot better than crying. He tried to reign himself in when she started looking nervous, but he could only taper his cackling down into breathy giggles.

"S-sorry. I don't know why-y I'm l-laughing."

The girl snorted at him, shaking her head in exasperation that seemed both irritated and fond.

"That's fine. We'll start with something easy. Why are you on my lawn?"

Steve glanced away from her and out the window and, sure enough, his car was halfway on her lawn. He turned back to her, sheepish.

"I, uh, I couldn't see the road. Sorry."

She blinked for a few moments, her expression betraying nothing on how she was feeling. There were a few instances where she looked like she was going to say something and decided against it. To say the least, her silence made Steve increasingly nervous.

"Do you want to sit on the grass for a bit?"

She seemed hesitant to make such an offer, but he could tell it was genuine nonetheless.

"Yeah."

So they sat on her lawn.

They sat on her lawn for hours. Talking, tearing up bits of grass and throwing them at each other, just simply existing in the moment. It was the most calm Steve had felt since he started high school.

"I'm worried that I went too far. That it won't matter if I apologize to them or not."

"It doesn't matter if they forgive you or not. It's important that they know you are aware that you fucked up. Acknowledge that you were in the wrong and don't want to make that same mistake. It sucks, but it's what you have to do if you wanna make it right."

"Yeah. Thanks Robin. You're really cool."

"That's quite the complement coming from The Hair."

Steve groaned, knowing full well what that nickname indicated. He laid back on the grass, gaze fixed on the darkening sky.

"Hey Robin?"

"Yeah Steve?"

"Would you maybe want to be friends? I don't really have any real ones."

And what a depressing thought that was. It was true, though. Tommy and Carol have never been real friends, not in the way he needed them to be. The closest thing he had was Nancy and look at how that turned out so far.

"Are you for real?"

Robin sounded bewildered and it made Steve wonder how isolated he made himself out to be that anyone would question why he might want to befriend them. God, popularity ruined him.

"Yes?"

Now he was anxious that Robin was only humoring him. Of course she wouldn't want to be friends with him. He was a complete loser, just like his dad always said.

"Okay. Yeah. We can be friends, Steve."

The warmth that spread through Steve was lightning fast. It felt almost as good as when Nancy would sneak away with him to make-out at school. Maybe even better.

"Cool. Thanks, uh, for all of this. I didn't mean to just kind of dump my shit on your lap, but I'm glad we met. Yeah. Anyway, I've got apologies to make. I'll see you later?"

He glanced at her from the side, a shy grin taking over his face. She smiled back and gave him a playful shove.

"See you later, Harrington. Tell me how it goes!"

Steve rushed back to his car, determination settling in his gut. He'd apologize to Jonathan first. It was only right.

***

Robin wouldn't go as far as to say that she was worried, but she was definitely curious. A tad concerned maybe. It was just that Steve hadn't been to class for the last three days. Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers hadn't either and perhaps that was why Robin found herself anxious. After all, Barb Holland and Will Byers went missing recently. Who's to say the same thing couldn't have happened to those three?

Robin smacked her cheeks a few times. There was no sense in getting worked up by worst case scenarios. She'd get the facts, one way or another, even if it meant venturing all the way to Loch Nora to find Steve.

That plan turned out to be wholly unnecessary because Steve walked into class right as she had that thought. He looked a little twitchy, his eyes flicking across the classroom like they anticipated danger. It wasn't long before he clocked Robin. She waved and the smile that blossomed on his face was so bright she thought she was going to need sunglasses.

He went straight for his seat right in front of hers and immediately situated himself so that he was facing her.

"Hey Robin!"

"Hey yourself! Did everything go okay? I haven't seen you in class."

He studied his hands for a moment, a distant look passing through his eyes like he was remembering something, before he smiled ruefully at her.

"Yeah. Everything went okay. I would've come in yesterday, but my mom wanted me to rest at home. Wasn't feeling too good. I'm here now though! Ready to actually pay attention for once."

Robin snorted right as their English teacher entered the classroom. Steve spun around quickly to face the front, but every so often he turn his head halfway toward hers and make faces at her. She shoved him every time, a smile playing across her face.

Steve Harrington was a wild card, but Robin had a gut feeling that they'd be good for each other.

***

Happy Platonic Stobin Month! I have no idea how much I'm actually going to participate, but I did write this thing! So I hope y'all enjoy! (Prompts 1 & 20: Alternate Meeting/1983)