#--sitting between them but theyre still family man

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@croptopjames submission for mr james fleamont potter's birthday<3

2598 words - NSFW - cw: spanking, squirting, dirty talk, lil bit of degradation theyre being nasty idk it escalated

aka feral fucking your husband after seeing him in a shirt that doesn't quite fit like it used to~

“Baby, I’m home,” Regulus shouts after entering the front door, kicking it closed behind him with his foot as he balances the huge ice cream cake precariously on both his hands.

They’ve invited the whole family as per usual, what with their first year with Harry out of the house coming back from uni for his dad’s special day, Sirius and Remus driving down and picking up Effie and Monty on the way. All their friends will come later this week for brunch.

Today it’s just the few of them though and Regulus finds himself with a spring in his step at the thought of all of them together today.

James has taken the day off and Regulus was able to weasel his way into only half a shift today which he nearly missed entirely after the way James had sat down in his lap first thing in the morning and ridden him until he was shaking, cursing and babbling incoherently, all the while his husband was seated on his throne, smiling brightly, happiest man in the world, practically taking the matter of his birthday gift into his own hands.

“Hi love!” comes from somewhere on the higher level of the house.

Regulus brings the cake into the kitchen, shrugging off his jacket and quickly dispensing the celebratory sweet in the freezer before James sees it.

Not a moment after Regulus closes the drawer to grab a bowl of blueberries from the fridge James comes into the kitchen, huffing and cheeks flushed, a presumably heavy box of just…stuff in his arms that he must have gotten from the attic.

“James,” Regulus starts, blinking, “You were supposed to take the day off.”

His husband smacks a content kiss onto his cheek, grinning brightly. His glasses are smudged and sitting crookedly over his nose and Regulus is pretty sure he spotted a bit of spiderwebs in the mess of his hair.

“Ehh,” James makes dismissively, “I still felt restless after I hit the gym this morning once you left.”

He places the box down with a heavy thunk, petting its side like a horse—he’s such a dad, “And we’ve been wanting to get started on these babies after spring cleaning anyway, remember?”

Regulus rolls his eyes, fondness betraying him when the corners of his mouth tug upwards, “Mm, that might be true. Still it’s your birthd—”

Regulus halts.

“Love?” James looks at him inquiringly, hands propped on his hips.

On his very much naked hips. A palm length sliver of skin exposed between the indecently thin and short gym shorts and the—

“James, baby, what are you wearing?”

Oh, Regulus’ mouth is so, so dry.

“Huh?” James looks down at himself, shuffling in place before his head snaps back up to Regulus, “Oh! Yeah I found one of my old shirts from uni.” His husband snickers, giving a little twirl and shaking his hips from side to side like he isn’t currently taking five years off Regulus’ life expectancy.

“You–” Regulus stops again, eyes glued to the small swell of his stomach over the band of the white shorts, the dark hair splattered all over and coiling at the center, carving a path up and downwards. It’s downright indecent. His arms fill out the shirt just how they used to back in uni but with the difference that it’s more fat than muscle now—though Regulus knows well enough from personal experience how strong his husband still is. His pecs are visibly straining the material, the washed out, maroon letters spelling HOGWARTS cracking from the stretch.

Even more so when James leans back on his palms against the dining table, draping himself all prettily against the edge and smiling coyly, blinking doe brown eyes from under long lashes at Regulus as if he didn’t already have him warpped around his finger hook, line and sinker.

“Baby,” Regulus rasps and he barely recognises his own voice.

“Yeah, Reg?” James purrs, tilting his head and exposing the expanse of his neck.

“How long until Harry arrives?”

“An hour or two, depending on traffic,” James responds, voice all husky. Regulus is going to wreck him. Reduce him to a stuttering, squirting mess in the matter of half an hour, take his fucking word for it.

“Good enough,” Regulus grits out and then he crosses the distance in two long strides, already yanking at his tie.

They meet in a mess of parted lips, clicking teeth and tongues nudging, eager as ever, trying to lick into each other’s mouths and taste. Greedy for it, happily swallowing moans and tugging their bodies close. They slot into each other easily, practiced after all these years, decades and Regulus reckons that’s how they somewhat safely find their way onto the couch.

Regulus’ back hits the cushions with a soft oompf, barely time to gasp another breath and reach for his husband before James is straddling his lap, clasping Regulus’ stubbly jaw in warm, calloused palms and pulling him right back into their kiss. They don’t stay there for long with the way James is restlessly shifting on top of him, grinding his crotch right against the bulge in Regulus’ slacks, making them both groan.

At some point Regulus abandons James’ mouth in favor of kissing over the stubble of his cheek and jaw and latch onto his throat while simultaneously trying to get his stupid shirt buttons open. When the takes too long however James seems to grow impatient, batting his hands away and fumbling with them himself while they pant and grunt into each other’s mouths.

Regulus is nipping at James’ lower lip, already swollen and an obscene kiss bitten red and his husband makes a sound. Downright needy and he’s sitting there on top of Regulus, flushed and with that dazed look in his eyes, moaning like a little slut, so Regulus can’t quite help himself when he pulls one hand around and smacks James’ firmly on the bum.

It elicits a gasp, high pitched and followed by a long, drawn out moan and James sinking deeper into his lap, recapturing his mouth and desperately rutting down against where Regulus is hard and already throbbing. It’s a medical miracle, truly, that no matter how many times they’ve had sex, Regulus’ erection is always at its best form for James.

“Mnh,” James makes, their lips parting with a wet smacking noise, “Need you, baby.”

Regulus grunts, fingers digging harshly into the meat of James’ arse, “Slut.”

Just like expected, James whimpers, and so prettily at that. Eyebrows scrunching pitifully and he grinds once more, helplessly, “Please, please.” 

“But of course, sweety,” Regulus relents easily, licking a hot stripe up his neck, along his jawbone and then right across his slack mouth, “Anything for the birthday boy.”

James moans in response, nodding his head frantically.

Regulus nods his head towards the end of the couch where the pillows are piled, “Scoot up.”

His husband does so dutifully and it doesn’t take longer than a second for Regulus to make James lift his hips and rip the sheer piece of nylon off and throw it over his shoulder, not quite surprised yet still horribly taken off guard by the lack of boxer briefs underneath.

Regulus is left with nothing to do but stare at the mess of wet, thick curls and pink fold glistening with James’ slick, spit pooling under his tongue in an instant. He grabs James’ ankles, settling them over his shoulders, trainers still on and letting his hands drive over white tennis socks, hairy shins and strong calves. Digging his thumb in there and relishing in the gasp he elicits from his husband that way, hips twitching with the suspense. Regulus strokes up his boney knees, massages the big muscle of his thighs, the hair tickling his palms softly, all the while letting himself pitch forward, making sure to spill warm breath over where James wants him most right now.

He goes further, letting his hands rake up and over his stomach, rucking the shirt up as he goes and tucking it over the swell of his pecks, exposing him for Regulus to play with.

James is panting, short little puffs of breath, brimming with excitement and barely refraining from whimpering on the way out each time.

Predictably, he breaks once Regulus lazily swirls a tongue around his exposed nipple, holding the eye contact and watching with satisfaction as James’ eyelids flutter. He can’t help but grin, nipping at the hardened nub before he retreats, settling himself comfortably between James’ thighs and without warning diving right in.

James positively screams the moment Regulus closes his lips around his cock, sucking him into his mouth and rolling him around between his lips until the bucking of his hips throws him off. Regulus hoists an arm over James’ hips, belting him down, and wastes no time inserting one finger into James’ searing wetness, sinfully hot inside.

“Ahh yesyes, please more, love, please m-hah—” James babbles, throwing his head back when Regulus drives into him with another finger, crooking them upwards and watching shamelessly as his husband’s precum pools all over his digits before diving back in to lick at his little cock. 

He works them steadily up to each finger until he is four in deep, repeatedly hitting that spot inside of James and sucking and mouthing at the bundle of nerves until James’ noises grow an edge.

“You gonna cum for me, baby?” Regulus asks, muffled between licks, jaw aching slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, gonna– hnng,” James breaks off, screwing his eyes shut when Regulus gives a particularly harsh suck, noises obscenely loud.

He’s fisting the cushions like his life depends on it, white knuckling them in his grip, and it only takes a handful more thrusts and licks before James is shuddering through his first orgasm. Breaths coming quicker until he eventually breaks off into a keen, thighs quivering around Regulus’ head, squeezing at his skull and riding it out, grinding his cunt uncoordinatedly forward into Regulus’ face all the while convulsing around his fingers.

He squeezes in waves of pleasure and it makes Regulus so delirious that he blinks and the next thing he knows is him kneeling against James’ ass, belt undone, slacks shoved down just enough and prodding at his slick, puffy entrance with the head of his cock.

James is staring unblinkingly at the ceiling, mouth agape and pupils so dilated they’ve swallowed most of the beautiful, dark chocolate brown.

“Baby,” Regulus prompts, bending James’ knees towards his ears with a grunt, “Jamie, be a good boy and hold these there for me.” His husband slowly blinks him back into focus, silently obliging and hooking his fingers into the bend of his knees—thank the higher powers James still does yoga once a week.

Regulus leans in, one hand holding him up off the couch, the other fisting around the length of him and smearing it through James’ wetness, “Now are you going to be able to be good and keep yourself wide open for me or are you already fucked too stupid, huh? An old man? Maybe we should postpone it for next year, ay papi, what do you say?”

James whines pathetically, rubbing his head into one of the throw pillows, knotting his black hair up even more before he swallows frantically, “No, Reg, pleaseplease, I can take it. Please, love, I’m gonna be good for you, I prom–Aah—”

Regulus bottoms out in one smooth thrust, vision dotting with black spots at the mind bending heat and vice grip James has on him, already pulsing around him shallowly.

He grants James a moment to get used to being full, slowly rocking his hips back and forth and listening for when his whimpers turn into soft moans, turning needy again, and then he reaches up to grip his chin, “Then take it, slut.”

The pace he picks up into is hard, not too fast but unforgiving and steady, a sure way to drive James crazy. Regulus nips his way along his husband’s chest, nuzzling his nose through chest hair and biting and licking at his dark nipples, tasting salt and sweat, feeling his cock twitch at the taste deep inside his husband.

When Regulus feels himself lose rhythm he hikes James’ legs impossibly higher, draping one of them over his shoulder before he starts spanking him again. The angle is awkward but it’s working, going off of the way James keeps jerking at the stinging contact, clenching around the length of Regulus and working himself into a frenzy, gasping and whimpering and groaning like he’s getting the best cock of his entire life. 

“Touch yourself, baby,” Regulus demands, breath stuttering as he watches a fat tear roll down the side of James’ face, disappearing into the shorter hair at his temple.

Regulus keeps James’ thighs wide and open, rolling his hips with abandon, groaning and panting with every thrust, feeling sweat bead on his forehead and desperately trying not to lose control when James snakes a hand between his legs, frantically circling his cock while Regulus keeps pumping in and out of him.

“If you could only see yourself, baby,” Regulus grits out, “Fucking masterpiece, splayed out for me like this. Obliging my every demand, so fucking good, baby.”

James moans happily, tongue lolling out and without thinking Regulus sticks two of his fingers into his mouth, rubbing over his tongue and feeling the saliva coat them thickly.

“Can you go ahead and cum for me again, Jamie?”

James whines an affirmative around his digits, slurping messily, a trickle of drool trailing down the corner off his mouth.

“Think you’ll be a good boy and squirt all over me, baby? You know how much I love when you cum like that, hm?”

James breath hitches impossibly, eyes threatening to flutter shut as he nods deliriously.

Regulus quickly grabs him by the jaw, “Keep looking at me, James. I know you can do that for me, baby.”

And so he does.

On the next thrust James starts quivering again, fingers working furiously over his cock, mouth falling open around a silent scream and gazing Regulus right in the eyes as he pounds into him and James squirts around him. Spraying everywhere, absolutely in all directions and fucking messy, wetting Regulus’ torso and the couch—Regulus wouldn’t be surprised if the carpet wasn’t unscathed either.

That’s really all Regulus can take before his hips stutter in their pace and he buries himself deep inside James, letting the pulsing of his husband’s orgasm milk him dry as he spills and spills his cum into James for what feels like minutes on end.

At some point James lets his trembling legs back down, crossing his ankles tightly under Regulus’ bum as this one keeps jerking into his husband’s hole.

Once they’re both done Regulus is too exhausted to do anything else but collapse forward into James’ chest which he accepts with a happy hum.

They take a few minutes like this, James slowly coming to and starting to play with the curls at Regulus’ nape and Regulus breathing in the comforting scent of James, raking his short nails up and down the side of his ribcage.

After a while James presses a feebly kiss into the side of Regulus’ head, huffing out a big breath that makes Regulus rise with the motion of his chest before he snickers, “Well, happy fucking birthday to me.”

Regulus chuckles into the crook of James’ neck, dropping a kiss there before lifting and staring into his husband’s droopy eyes, “Yeah, happy fucking birthday to you, baby.”

[dovveri]

aftermath

bachelorette masterlist - part 1 ▸ part 2 ▸ part 3 ▸ part 4 ▸ part 5 ▸ part 6

synopsis: the finale! and then the afterparty :')

warnings: suggestive, cursing, sana kisses a fictional man im sorry

w/c: 2.9k

a/n: surprise! double feature release! bcs theyre both quite short compared to the other chapters and i lwk just wanted to close this series and be done with it - im v happy w and vvvv grateful for all the support ive received w this - it was my first ever published fic and 36.7k words later im pretty happy w how it ends :)) stay healthy and safe!! mwah <3

⊱✿⊰

true to her word, sana ended up telling everyone that she had gained feelings for you during the filming experience. you had wanted to go with her but she insisted it would be easier for those who had gained feelings for her to accept it if you weren't there. so you were stuck at home, twiddling your thumbs watching reruns of the last few episodes anxiously waiting for her to come home.

you're up in seconds when you hear the door click open softly, rushing to greet her.

"hey! how'd they take it?"

sana's a little surprised to see you in such a hurry, but recovers quickly, smiling and tilting your chin down to peck you sweetly.

"hello to you too. they were okay." you help her organise her things as she settles in, "jihyo was obviously eliminated after house visits like i promised i'd do. i still have a soft spot for her but it was easier to talk to the other three when she wasn't there, probably because i could get my entire story across uninterrupted. unfortunately, jiwon decided to forfeit herself after the news which she has every right to do. the producers are going to mark it off as a family emergency and say she can no longer participate in the filming."

"oh... and the other two?"

"momo took it pretty hard, but jacky seemed to already have a clue what was going on. they both agreed to stay on until the end of the season though. i still feel terrible for having to put them through this, especially the last 2 dates with each of them, knowing that they don't have a chance with me anymore..."

"hey, it's okay. they agreed to stay right? they're being good friends right now and feeling bad or sorry for them and not giving it your all for the last few days isn't going to be helpful for them."

she sighs, "you're right. after all this craziness is over i'll definitely try and do something for them."

you smile, pecking her temple, "and i'll help you."

⊱✿⊰

because there were no more group dates, and the season would end after the final 2 dates and the decision sana makes, you weren't really needed for the filming of the rest of the season.

so most of your time was spent at home, lounging around in the pool or in the kitchen while sana was out on extravagant dates not with you, and completely bored out of your mind.

at nights, you'd bound excitedly up to sana and find out what adventure she went on, completely attached to her, even sitting on top of the toilet seat while she was in the shower so you were never apart. the seperation anxiety for just a few hours was definitely something that caught you a little off guard but after spending practically every minute together while filming, combined with your newfound romantic love for her, you couldn't bear being apart from her.

soon enough, the final day of filming came. it was set in this beautiful meadow with flower strands that reached mid-calf. sana was in the most perfect sundress, like she belonged in the meadow, like she was aphrodite herself born not from the sea, but the flowers.

typically, the final choice is snapped together with flashy editing between tension building scenes of sana walking up to both of the final contestants in two different settings. they filmed her rejection shot the day before already, so there wasn't much suspense watching as sana walked through the meadow towards her final choice. not that there needed to be, you were enthralled enough just being able to take in the breathtaking view that was minatozaki sana, just imagining it was you she was walking gently towards.

but it wasn't. and the mindless chatter of the cameras and crew served to remind you that again, you had to stand in the background while the love of your life confessed to someone that wasn't you. no amount of reassurance from her would be able to get the feeling of utter despair out of you.

⊱✿⊰

sana walks forward with a gentle, rehearsed smile.

"hi."

"hey sana."

"how are you feeling?"

"could be better. i'm either about to have my heart broken in front of the entirety of korea and my family back home or i'm about to be able to call the most beautiful girl on the planet my girlfriend. pretty big moment."

sana giggles, "welll... jacky... regardless of the outcome-"

"oooooh that word's not a great sign is it?"

she hushes him, "shhh, just let me finish. jacky... the time on this show, the time you've given me, has been absolutely incredible. from the first time i met you with your charming smile and lively wit, it was hard to forget your dual entrance with eunji, both of you looking absolutely dapper in your suits. and then on our individual date, you dared to go on that hot air balloon at the asscrack of dawn to watch the sunrise with me, and even though i'm not totally sure if you did see it or not, the fact that you went up there, and you overcame that fear, it was so inspiring and courageous of you. it was that moment that really made me realise the kind of person you were, and the courage, and fun you'd bring into a relationship, and even to a family in the future. that is... if you wanted to officially become my boyfriend?" she finishes her piece with a shy smile, a strand of hair falling cinematically over her face while she peers up at him under her eyelashes.

jacky gapes a little, and then he's grinning, hoisting her up in a whoop and spinning her around on the spot, stopping finally to plant his lips on hers.

when they break apart, they both have the widest smiles on their faces, eyes glowing in adoration of each other.

"yes! yes of course i'd be honoured sana! i hope to spend the rest of our lives together until we grow old and wrinkly and our kids have to come dote on us in the retirement home while we annoy them with how unbelievably cute we are even in our old age. and i look forward to watching reruns of our season and being able to show our kids how absolutely gorgeous their mom looked and how incredibly lucky i got being able to be the one at the end of it all!"

there are happy tears and more kisses, hugs, and spins, and with that, the bachelorette season for 2024, is officially over.

⊱✿⊰

"eugh, did you seriously kiss him?"

sana throws the popcorn at you playfully, "yes but it was all planned babe and you're a way better kisser anyway."

"show me."

"oh i will." sana grins, sliding into your lap, pushing the bag of popcorn aside, lips immediately finding yours while the credits for the final bachelorette episode run in the background.

you smile into the kiss, hands finding their place naturally on her waist while her hands cup your face, tilting her head slightly to angle the kiss better.

she breaks away with an over-exaggerated smack that has you rolling your eyes and wiping at your lips in mock disgust.

"so now that the final episode is out... are we allowed to be seen in public together yet?" you're voice is whiny, pleading with her.

she coos, "my little babyy, i thought you weren't big on pda?"

"well i'm not but i'm sick of everyone thinking that you're with someone that's not me!"

sana giggles, "just think how this is for jacky right now. poor eunji..."

you scoff, "eunji will be fine. she's never been one to care about what the public thinks anyway."

"everyone says that but no-one is immune to societal pressure." she boops your nose with her finger gently, "but to answer your question, yes. we'll be able to go public soon i promise. and soon enough the tabloids will get bored of me and move on to the next big celebrity or whatever anyways so it'll be fine. now c'mon, we gotta get ready for the reunion, get your cute lil butt into your fit for the night."

you groan, pulling her back down when she tries to move off of you, "nooooo one more movie?"

sana laughs, pushing you out of her neck, "absolutely not. i'm not gonna be the only star for tonight, this time we're both gonna be the centre of attention, and we cannot be late! i swear if we don't get ready now you're sleeping here on the couch tonight."

"what?! you wouldn't!"

"i would."

"you couldn't survive without cuddles anyway."

"i can replace you with mr. bean."

"not my arch nemesis... i knew winning that bear for you was a bad decision... i'll rip off his stuffed head..."

sana laughs freely, "as if winning was a decision for you. you went back to that stall like 6 times."

"i should've left him there the 5th time..."

"nope! so if you don't want me getting all close and personal with him tonight you're gonna come get ready now with no funny business."

she stands up and you let her, your hands still attached as she pulls you up as well.

you smirk, "what funny business? i never pull any funny business!"

"yeah like the time you fucked me in a bathroom while everyone was waiting for us outside to start filming for national television. and then did it again at a public amusement park like a week later."

"i don't recall you saying no."

"well i'm saying no funny business now."

"okaaaaaayyyyy." you grin, fingers crossed behind your back while you follow her to your room to get dressed.

⊱✿⊰

"y/n!"

"miyeon oh my god!"

miyeon's running towards you with her arms outstretched, easily wrapping them around you the moment she sees you.

you laugh into her, hand still held in sana's while you greet her.

"sana too hi!"

miyeon breaks away from you easily, going in to hug your girlfriend with her everlasting friendliness.

"how are you guys!? i heard through the grapevine that after the filming ended you were finally able to get together officially, even though you kinda had to keep it on the down low so it wasn't like publicly official but it's a step further?"

you laugh, "awwwh yeah you heard right, but now that the show is officially over..." you bring you and sana's intertwined hands up to your lips, kissing her knuckles, "we can say we're officially together!"

miyeon squeals happily, "yay! i'm so happy for both of you. really. no jealousy sana?"

sana laughs as well, hitting miyeon playfully, "noo don't remind me."

"oh i'm afraid it's permanent now. unless they burn every single copy of this season the day you broke my heart is forever recorded in history."

"oh god... y/n... swear to me you'll never show this to our kids."

"can't do that babe. gotta show them their mom in her prime. the sweetheart of korea at one point in her life."

"just one point?"

"sweetheart of mine for my whole life obviously."

sana grins, kissing you cheesily, miyeon doesn't even mind, simply happy to see both her friends together.

"are jacky and eunji here?" you ask miyeon when you break away with a smile.

"i haven't seen them but i also haven't said hi to everyone yet. c'mon let's go!" she leads you into the garden where the party's being hosted.

you and sana are attached by the hip, if one of you has to let go of the other's hand, another body part will eventually replace it, your skin contact is constant, never parting from one another while you greeted all the old contestants.

some were still a little surprised to see that sana had come with you in hand and not with jacky, but she explained what happened patiently, apologising for the confusion.

"jacky! eunji!" sana spots them first, calling them out.

you grin at the sight of them, wearing matching suits, hand in hand, waving them down.

"hey couple of the hour! how are you guys faring tonight?"

"oh says you. finally got the girl jacky?"

jacky blushes, "crazy how things turned out right? just two sets of best friends realising they're in love with each other and not the person they're both dating. kinda lucky it turned out that way so we could fake that finale sana. it's just a shame for momo..."

"yeah i felt terrible especially after all she did with that home visit in japan. but i talked to her after filming ended and we actually get along really well as friends, we have so much more in common and so much more to talk about when we're not in a controlled environment like the filmset!"

"you guys talking about me?"

you turn in a flash, surprised but excited to see momo coming up behind you.

"momoring!"

sana goes in for a hug first, which momo gladly returns with a giggle.

"hi everyone. it's nice to see you all again outside of the filming."

"of course! it's great to see you again too. how have you been holding up?"

"oh alright. i was contacted already to be on the next season of bachelor in paradise which is always just a massive orgy i swear, so i won't be going on, but i heard jiwon accepted a place!"

sana pouts, "i hope jiwon's okay... she's the only finalist i haven't talked to since breaking the news. i thought it'd be too soon to reach out to her after she left..."

"you talked to me right?" momo playfully nudges sana's shoulder, "jiwon's doing better. she's happy for you both, really. and she's getting her second chance so there's really nothing she's complaining about."

sana smiles gratefully, "i'm glad."

momo turns her attention to the other couple, "and jacky, eunji! i can't believe you guys got together in the end! i mean i was pretty oblivious in the house but nayeon always swore there was something between you two. guess she was right."

eunji laughs, "it came as a surprise to the both of us as well. i guess we just spent so much time together in the house that it was a lot like old times and then when seeing each other go off with sana and realising we weren't jealous of each other but jealous of sana, well that did it!"

"this entire thing is honestly just a mess of feelings. i don't know how you guys do it as contestants. i had a hard enough time not even being a part of the competition."

"to be fair you did kinda insert yourself in pretty heavily when you started sleeping with sana."

"hey!"

there's laughs and teasing all round. the night goes on like this, in the company of people you've grown easily close to in a very short amount of time, and holding hands with the woman you fell in love with.

⊱✿⊰

"sana, y/n, can i steal you both for a minute?"

you both turn, surprised to see jihyo there, looking a little sheepish. you squeeze sana's hand, looking to her for confirmation. she nods, clearing her throat, "yeah. sure jihyo."

jihyo leads you to a quieter clearing, then stands in front of the both of you, eyes on the ground, awkwardly rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"i just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i acted the last time we saw each other. i was jealous and petty for bringing sungbin and i wanted to throw sana off her game so that she'd admit she was in love with you on national television. i went into it wanting to embarass sana and i'm sorry."

sana sighs, gripping your hand reassuringly, "we know. it's okay jihyo. i'm sorry about how it went down between us. i do hope you find the right person one day."

jihyo looks up then, "thank you. really. and it probably doesn't mean a lot coming from me but i am glad the two of you ended up finding each other. she makes you happier than i've ever seen you sana. i genuinely hope for all the best for the both of you."

"thank you jihyo." sana smiles at you then, and you return it softly. "she does make me really happy."

"after some time... maybe you could both come by again? my siblings and my parents miss you lots and i'd like to make it up to both of you for the last time you were there."

"we'd love to. thank you jihyo."

jihyo smiles gratefully, bowing and leaving the two of you alone.

sana sighs, turning to you and looping her arms around your neck.

"you okay?"

she hums, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against yours. "never better."

you giggle, stealing a quick kiss, "the headlines are gonna get pretty crazy once they get wind of the current couples."

"let them have their drama. all i need is you."

"cheesy."

"you love it."

"i love you."

"i love you too." she grins, bringing you into another kiss, sealing the love you have for each other between your lips.

[nyashykyunnie]

Oki so I saw tjat you were open to brajnrots so I hope you enjoy them urbjdbfk sorry if it's long but I need to get these out before I go insane sibddnjdjdb 😅😅

I kinda think that Jinwoo would tease the hell out of their partner if they start getting super flustered after their second awakening, ESPECIALLY if reader was with them pre-awakening and was kinda shy woth affection before too (shout out to my shy peeps akbdjbd) ofc he's respectful about boundaries but it doesn't mean he enjoys how cuter his s/o has become wjbdjdnd Not only that, I think Jinwoo would definately use their new height and stregnth to his advantage too! Like if his s/o was taller and could lift him before when hugging, what stopping him from picking up his s/o to cuddle now?? Mf has the audacity to be smug to 🙄🙄

I think he even finds his s/o' weight on him incredibly comforting, especially with the fact that his s/o trusts him completely no matter how he's changed. This is especially so if his s/o knows how terrifying he is as a hunter, and is not phased in the slightest

(Jinwoo has jumped from E to S-rank. Having to fight his way up tooth and claw, doing whatever he has to survive. A man that even monsters fear. Here? He's just Jinwoo. nothing more nothing less. Safe and content with s/o acting as his guiding light during his darkest of hours. Before, he was worried how he couldnt protect his s/o's happiness when he was an E-rank. Now? He finally has the stregnth to protect them and his family, and will do so with everything he has)

Acheivement unlocked: Jinwoo's s/o has now become his weighted blanket sjdbudnd

Jinwoo pissed after a raid, eyes glowing purple, emitting an aura that even scares his shadows: The world is harsh and cruel.... Jinwoo 10 min later, eyes normal, deadly aura gone, cuddling s/o with his head nestled into s/o's shoulder: s/o soft and gentle.

Wdym he can't have his lovely s/o on his lap while he's on his rare breaks in the privacy of his own office??? Unless there is a s-rank dungeon suddenly appearing or an emergency, this man will be enjoying his BREAK.

Don't get me started on his shadows too sksbudbj. I think it be funny if his shadows also start acting like puppies for s/os affection too. Yeah sure they can absolutely decimate enemies but to their Monarchs beloved, theyre lovable guard dogs. (I think that they would be even more charmed If s/o is actually aware how dangerous they can be but still treats them so kindly)

Jinwoo would also get secretly jealous if his shadows gets the privilege of using his shy! s/o's lap as a pillow too (kinda like how a small pet sits on their owners lap or large dogs put their heads on their owners lap for pets too). Especially if its BEFORE he gets the privilege to abdjdbdnkd

I bet once this man gets a taste of using s/os thighs a pillow , he is a changed man. Brain alterd. dbjdbd

The man's personal heaven? His head nestled into s/o's lap with their fingers running though his hair. If his s/o stars humming? Man's purring in content.

(Anyways, if you read it, thanks! I hope it makes you feel a fraction of how happy I feel when I read your works ajbdjdb)

Cheer,

//Warning: kyunnie having a mental breakdown over Jinwoo NO BECAUSE I GENUINELY THINK JINWOO'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS BEING A TEASE!!! HE'S A BIG OL GRUMP AND AWKWARD BUT I GEN THINK HE LIKES TEASING BY TOUCH!! YOU CAN TELL WITH THE WAY HE INTERACTS WITH JIN-AH LIKE SQUEEZING HER FACE OR PINCHING HER CHEEKS IT TELLS A LOT!!!! I GOT THE IDEA OF A TOUCHY JINWOO JUST BY SEEING HOW HE ACTS AROUND JIN-AH AND KYYAAAAA PRE-AWAKENING RELATIONSHOIP EBHJGRWFE!!!!! I LOVE THAT IDEA SM BECAUSE THERE'S A CERTAIN POETIC ROMANCE TO IT WHEN YOU'VE SEEN YOUR BELOVED AT THEIR LOWEST POINTS AND LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY REGARDLESS!! My fave novel of all time is tgcf and there's a whole interactions between the main cp like this!! “That person saw me at my worst", Hua Cheng said. "Then I'm very envious of that", Xie Lian replied.” IF IT'S A SITUATION LIKE THAT IK JINWOO'S ATTACHMENT WOULD GO BEYOND THE ROOFS AND HEAVENS!!!! Jinwoo would first be oblivious to his sunshine's(reader is giving me sunshine vibes, and I love sunshines sm) at first but he slowly started noticing from the jumpy reactions and the shy expression!! He'd test out the waters by his body language likelike purposely moving closer to reader unexpectedly, grasping hands, lightly brushing a finger on their ear— And when he confirmed his suspicions he went "Oh?" like lIKE HOLLYY SIJJDBE WN CFEAAAAA KGGRAAAAA!!! HE'D BULLY THEM A LOT AND CHUCKLE EVERYTIME HE CATCHES SUNSHINE READER GO BBRRRR BRAIN LAG WHHEEEE PRINCESS CARRIES USED TO BE A DISTANT DREAM NOW JINWOO CAN DO IT ANYTIME HE WANTS!! HE EVEN LETS THEM SIT ON HIS ARM PERCHED SO CUTELY LIKE THIS!!! IT GETS READER SO FLUSTERED THEY HIDE THEIR FACE ON HIS NECK AND HE'S LIVING FOR ITT!!!!

(Source: How to win my husband over) BUT WE CANT FORGET THE JINWOO THAT GETS TIRED AND ALL PISSY AFTER DEALING ITH GATES!! Ik our boi gets annoyed over some sht but he doesn't voice them out most of the time!!! His best therapy is when he has reader cuddled up on his lap or him laying his head on their while they tousle their hair around. I Genuinely think Jinwoo's soft/sensitive spots are on his head!!! Fingertips brushing across his scalp tickles him in a pleasant way that he just goes Zzzzzz..... Jinwoo is the type of boyfriend that looks so expressionless and stiff but put his lover and his eyes immediately turn into the most gentle lovestrucken-fool look in an instant that whoever witnesses it thinks their lives just flashed before their eyes because wth the hunter coULD DO THAT KIND OF FACE??????? HELLLOOO!!!! I am an intj simp and coincidentally I have so many intj husbands that I did not ask for but goddamn the consistency. The patten I see with INTJ's ik is that they love acts of service!!! From brushing your hair away from your face, holding their hand out to you so you wont get lost, instinctively doing something to help you WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING. And my god, they have the most MOST INTENSE EYE CONTACT EVER!!!! Jinwoo has proven that side in the manhwa I do not need to pull up panels for this surely YA'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN PEOPLE. If Jinwoo is whipped, HE IS WHIPPED!!! He mostly keeps a straight face BUT CANNOT CONTROL HIMSELF FOR HIS BELOVED( lets be fr he doesn't intend to in the first place he's that downbad and I love it mWAH) Cuddle session breaks with sunshine reader is a must if not he will wreak havoc in the office or the gates or something WHEEZE OMG THE SHADOWS WHAKJSDEQBKWEF, HE'S A PETTY BASTARD I TELL YOU!! HE'S CHAOTIC AS HELL!!!!! HE DEF THROWS BERU AN EYE-ROLL WHEN HE GETS PATPATS FROM SUNSHINE READER AND IT ENDS UP WITH BERU HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN ITS SO SILLY JWHNFWEPIOEJFND, HE MAKES HIM DO FOREHEAD ON THE FLOOR PUNISHMENT 2 DHWEJAFKE HE'S A PETTY BASTARDDD!!!!! HIS BIGGEST RIVAL IS TANK BECAUSE HE IS THE FLOOFIEST BOI IN THE SHADOWS AND IT JUST MAKES JINWOO GO INTO A TANTHRUM ITS SO SILLYYY!!!! AFTER THE WHOLE SULKING WO GOES TO SUNSHINE READER'S LAP AND GRUMBLES LIKE A TODDLER!!!! Also the thighs man, he had done it once in E-rank days nEVER MOVED ON I TELL YOU, THAT'S WHY I KEEP SAYING LAP SINCE EARLIER WHAHDHWGR. The first time he did it he felt like he was thrown into heaven literally and figuratively he's such a silly simp AGAIN YES, JINWOO'S MOST SENSITIVE SOFT SPOT IS HIS HEAD!!!!!! OUR SILLY LITTLE FLOOFY BASTARDD!!! He purposely messes his hair up so sunshine reader would be forced to fix his hair, and when they look away he begins ruffling his hair up again for more attention— ALSO EARLIER U APOLOGIZED FOR MAKING SOMETHING LONG BESTIE DON'T I MADE IT LONGER IT'S OKAY DON'T FEEL BAD DAFOHLJMWLEJDNM Also owejii uueeee, now I'm all shy and flustered aisupohdjqbl,emfdn AAAAee ee er w ddw sakjlsdlafrgshdf I'm so glad it makes u happy uueeeeeee, I honestly just write for myself but I'm glad it makes you happy too uueee<3333!!!!! Ty for activating my jinwoo braincells that should have beem stayed dormat anywei!! (They never rlly sleep anyway i just keep them in my head)

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #3 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 9k +

☾ warnings: explicit language. say hi to eunbi!!! and to the friend group!!! its a bit funny until it becomes angsty … ouch. jeongguk is a bitch lowkey. pun unintended (you’ll see). theyre dramatic as hell. like bro it cant be that serious 😭. im sawrry for this. and its not all!!! see you in fourth chapter 🫡

☾ author’s note: hi hi hi!!! this took a bit to fully convince me but in the end it did. i was frustrated because i felt like i couldnt really use my words properly to tell the whole thing but… here we are now!!! thank u!!! enjoy 🫶🏻

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three ⋆ this is me trying

Up to that point, Eunbi’s life has been a constant adjusting to new surroundings, leaving bits and pieces behind, getting attached to new ones, and hoping they wouldn’t be taken away from her. It would always end up as she feared it would, though. From as early as she can remember, Eunbi would live off her blue backpack, where she gathered a toothbrush, a change of clothes and her favourite plushie to help her sleep and adapt faster to the smaller bed at her dad’s house. When her parents had divorced, it had been a rough patch before the both of them could come to a legal agreement; that being, she would spend the weekend with her father, and then stay with her mother again until Friday rolled around.

She rarely looks back at those days now, but when she does — mostly at night, her mind seemingly incapable of putting a stop to her furious flow of thoughts and just sleep — she thinks if it hadn’t happened to her when she was still pliable and mouldable, when she was yet to be met with what ordinariness was supposed to look like for others, she wouldn’t have been ready to wholly face all that followed. Eunbi was young when she learned that love between two people could end so easily, and her innocent self accepted that as the norm.

As a result, what she found harder to accept, more than her own mother and father not even being able to stand next to one another without ending up quarrelling, was having to leave her small black poodle in Gwangju, with her grandma, after moving away to Busan. Curly (little Eunbi had given him that name for obvious reasons, and to this very day she finds it dumb, but it makes her giggle nonetheless) had been a great companion through the inevitable loneliness she had to face as an only child. She was convinced he could understand her better than no other, even when she would force the tiny creature to sit and listen to her ramble on.

Busan was the next big change that was pushed onto Eunbi, only a few years after her mother got engaged to a man that would soon replace her biological father: with time, sleeping over at his house for the weekend was no longer even a contemplated thought on his side, coming up with excuses after excuses as not to, and that slowly led to showing less and less interest in keeping up with her and meeting up. The little girl had always been numb in relation to such negligence, and because of this she could consider herself lucky in some distorted sense; it didn’t affect her as much as it should have.

Part of that was also due to her step-dad being a great father figure during the initial times of his and her mom’s relationship, making sure to adapt to Eunbi’s pace and boundaries, never overstepping while also being able to bring fun into her life by taking the family out to visit places and eat delicious meals. What he couldn’t do for her, however, was live with a dog. When he and her mother decided to finally move together following their wedding, they both agreed on wanting to restart from a brand new place. Busan was their perfect pick for a variety of reasons: her mom got offered a job at a recently established company that seemed promising, and her step-dad could fulfil his deep-rooted dream of expanding his by starting a new branch.

Every single thing about him seemed perfect to her mom’s eyes, even if he was apparently deathly allergic to dog’s fur. And, of course, she picked her husband over Curly. Eunbi couldn’t believe it, nor accept it. The girl cried over the small dog for the two weeks prior to moving, during the trip to Busan, and for the following days there. Her grandmother would keep her updated by sending pictures of Curly through email, and even after the scar had healed, those would never fail to make her tear up.

As shameful as it might be to admit it, after having dried herself from half the water that made up her body because of the constant crying, it didn’t take long for the scar to close. When she first stepped foot in the big city by the seaside, Curly showed up right in front of her. Just in human form. Big eyes, long black hair and puppy manners, her neighbour was definitely sent to her by something greater. Eunbi was obsessed. It didn’t show at first, her pride prevailing. But it was harder and harder to fight against it. Jeongguk was simply too easy to love.

They became inseparable. Wherever he was, better believe she was there too, attached at his hip. And if they showed up alone, people would naturally ask about the other. Because the moon is never seen without its stars, and sunflowers only ever turn to face the sun. Their bond could be perceived by anyone as unbreakable, a friendship to envy and wish for, and every brick that built it had resulted in the creation of their own safe haven that only had space to contain the two of them. Not anybody else could be let in, the bubble exclusively recognised their password. It wasn’t composed of words, or numbers. It was the look of understanding they would share; the white lies used to cover the mischief of the other; their own handshake, accompanied by an original friendship jingle that Eunbi came up with randomly; the assurance that they could reveal their biggest secrets to one another, and they’d be kept like an oath.

There’s many of those that Eunbi shamelessly revealed to Jeongguk, some with intent and others unleashed spontaneously during their many endless talks. But when she thinks of it, she never admitted the single one that really mattered, the one that her best friend in the whole world needed to know, and remember. At all times. In any circumstance. It wasn’t a secret, it was more a result of her pondering; it came to a full reasonable thought only years later, and by then it was too late to tell him.

Eunbi thinks, and she’s sure, Jeongguk was the reason why all that came before the two of them had to happen. If it didn’t, she would have spent her whole life looking for that missing puzzle piece: under the cushions of the couch, in between her bed sheets, accidentally thrown away in the bin. It was as if all the hardships she experienced were justified, because at the end of the tunnel Jeongguk was waiting for her. And everything finally made sense. The puzzle was complete. Jeongguk was the reason himself. He was sent to teach her an important lesson: everything happens for a reason. There’s a cause and an effect, and even if the cause was suffering, at least the effect was her favourite boy.

Then, a gust of wind had wiped the puzzle to the ground, every single piece losing its place. When her best friend was taken away from her, she stopped being so convinced with the thought she herself had harboured, because she suddenly couldn’t find the meaning behind such a cruel fate. If everything really happened for a reason, then what was it? Jeongguk helped her see colours, only to return to black and white. Leaving him behind had marked the death of a version of herself that she would never get back.

Seoul was big, and harder to adjust to, even more with the baggage she was now dragging behind. Unpacking it, she found out all she had brought with her was a shattered trust and a soon to be broken promise to never get attached again. It was hard to be faithful to such an imposition, when Eunbi was born to give out love. It was hidden in that luggage, in between fears and regrets, but surely present.

And it prevailed in the end. Even at a slower pace, love found its way up and helped a lost Eunbi navigate the big capital city, promising new beginnings and healing. She found that in the faces of people that she would then start to recognise as friends, inside warm cafes during the coldest days of winter, and in the certainty that no matter where she is, she is always looking up at the same moon.

What she has built in Seoul so far feels the closest to stability that she has experienced in years. Starting university and meeting Dahye was the last bit of convincing it took to make her consider once again that a reason could exist, and that in the end it would make sense. Maybe not totally. Maybe just partly is enough after all.

Until, seeing a pair of familiar starry eyes in the midst of dull ones was all she needed to firmly believe in what she had been finding hard to accept. It took one shared look for past and present to get blurred together, and the mixture of old with new feelings created a mess. It was nice, nonetheless. Better than the seemingly impossible to get rid of emptiness at the pit of her heart.

Behind her eyes, Eunbi could see the puzzle slowly reaching its final form again, this time with more missing pieces, but the image was at least recognisable. When Jeongguk showed up in front of her again like magic, she contemplated becoming religious. Getting to her knees and starting praying to whatever greater force was shining on her path to please keep doing that. None of that showed on the outside, her smile breaking and mirroring the expression on the boy’s face. Pure sorrow. She knew she was probably the last person on earth Jeongguk wanted to see, and the fact that he wasn’t even trying to mask it didn’t help.

The most rational response she could come up with at that moment was to act as if nothing ever happened. And then, the bricks that a long time ago held together their safe bubble were being used by the boy to raise a high wall between them, making sure accessing his space would be impossible for Eunbi. Who could blame him? Still, the happiness she shamelessly felt when Jeongguk showed up at her 20th birthday party was too consuming, she selfishly wished for the rest of her birthdays to always look like that as she blew the candles. Nonetheless, when he suddenly left sprinting on his bike she knew the gods would need time to grant her desire. Although, this time around she had faith.

She doesn’t know how long it would take for it to break, though. September getting closer and closer only means that Jeongguk’s birthday is just around the corner. As part of his friend group, she had been involved in the process that led to organising the surprise camping trip, even if she didn’t exactly participate. After all, she doesn’t get to say she knows the boy better than anyone, anymore. Jeongguk has evidently changed, and as a consequence she knows way less about him than the others.

For that exact reason, Eunbi had made various attempts to back down from the trip, fearing her presence could significantly ruin it for the celebrated boy. At first, she tried to be casual about it with Dahye, since she’s the only one she’s opened up to about the whole dilemma, “I think it’s better if I don’t come. After all, it’s a friend trip. I’m not really his friend.” To which her roommate only replied with bullshit, proceeding to type away on her keyboard. That did not help whatsoever.

Then, the night she was too tipsy to take a taxi back home and Jeongguk had offered her a ride on his bike, she came home with a smile on her face only to burst out crying in front of a just as drunk Dahye. In between sobs, she begged to be left out of the trip, “Ple- Please, Dahye. He hates me. I can’t stand it.” Her friend tried to shush her whines, pushing Eunbi’s head on her chest and consoling her, “He doesn’t, baby. I’m sure he doesn’t.”

As a result of that night, Dahye had then sat her friend down with the intent of fully convincing her to be present for Jeongguk’s birthday trip for a number of reasons, “It would be rude to not show up after he was there for your birthday. And also, what if you two end up talking about… things! And everything gets solved! That would be nice, wouldn’t it, Bibi?”

Eunbi had just nodded all the way through the motivating speech, not really understanding nor believing her words, but apparently they were enough to lead her to the present moment: awkwardly squished between Dahye and Jimin on the couch of her flat, while they animatedly converse with the others to approve on the trip schedule. She has never felt so out of place before, not only because she doesn’t feel like she has a say in the whole discussion, but also because as time went by the two friends by her side kept shifting to subtly get closer to one another, not realising they were compressing her body in the process. To the point she is forced to get up, the position she was in being too uncomfortable, and sit on the ground under the couch next to Namjoon.

She can feel her movements being followed by a pair of curious eyes, and when she looks up to meet them, she finds out they belong to the origin of all her worries. Before Jeongguk can divert his attention elsewhere, aware he was caught observing, she gives him a quick tight lipped smile. It goes dismissed, as if it hadn’t happened. Ouch. It’s okay, Eunbi can take it. She used the few days prior to this to mentally prepare. She knows she’s not exactly welcomed anywhere near him, that’s why she made a silent secret pact within herself: whatever happens during the trip, don’t be a bother to Jeongguk. Stay away from him as much as possible, and if not possible, then do anything to avoid putting that frown on his face, exactly the one he’s sporting right now. On a second thought, if just looking at her gets him to react like that, maybe it’s best to mentally wipe that off her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip.

With there still being a day left before their minibreak takes off, the girl can already tell it’s going to be hard to follow the flow of that list, Jeongguk making it obvious her presence could have been avoided before the vacation has even started. Still, she remains composed and brushes off what had just happened, instead focusing on the main topic of conversation.

The group (Hoseok) has decided to meet to go over the schedule one last time because, “Everything needs to be perfect, guys. We can’t afford to slip!” It’s still Hoseok talking. Eunbi learned that he had always been the one in charge of organising events and little getaways when it came to the friend group, his obsession with keeping everything under control coming in handy in such scenarios.

Not only that, but the reddish haired guy is also amazingly quick on his feet, and in a relatively short amount of time he has managed to find the perfect excursions and experiences to go over during the trip, making sure every day spent together would be filled with fun activities that he knows the birthday boy is going to look forward to. In between what he has arranged there is cycling, canoeing, trekking, and more stuff that Eunbi can’t keep up with. Surviving this is going to be made ten times harder by the amount of energy that is going to be expected out of her. She sighs at the thought, looking down at her manicured nails. She just got them done, and now they would surely break.

It takes a few seconds for her to realise the sudden silence that fell above the room, and when she looks back up she’s met with eleven pairs of eyes staring at her. She straightens her posture, suddenly too aware of being perceived, and she deduces her previous exhale had been released with more energy than intended. Hoseok sweetly smiles at her, “Anything you don’t agree on, Eunbi?”

The panicked girl opens her mouth to justify herself, her eyes getting wider and shinier with embarrassment, but Dahye beats her to it, “Bibi, didn’t you say you, like, hate cycling? I’m sure we had a whole conversation about it.“

Eunbi is mortified. Her eyes jump from Dahye to Jeongguk, trying to get her best friend to shut up while also registering the boy’s scoff and muted roll of his eyes. Oh god. Her whole be-lowkey-and-make-yourself-unnoticed plan just shattered in a matter of seconds. She can feel Jeongguk’s eyes bore flaming holes into her skull, his arms crossed and his legs furtherly stretching out on the armchair. If she still had a small, tiny hope left that he didn’t fully hate her, she just witnessed that shattering in pieces too.

She quickly shifts to sit on her heels, her hands frantically shaking to try and save her face for what she could, “No, what? I love cycling. Seriously, I’d do it everyday if I could.” She chuckles shakily while subtly shoving Dahye’s knee next to her to signal going with the lie. At first, Dahye looks clearly confused: she was so sure of that information about her roommate. She furrows her brows, looking down at a panicky Eunbi widening her eyes. It takes only a few more seconds for her to suddenly get it, shaking herself from her doubts and catching the ball, “Oh, right! You do! I got it confused with, huh… something else.” The girl mutters that last part only to join her friend in a nervous laugh, and an apologetic smile. Best believe Dahye is going to hear about this later.

Hoseok looks just as puzzled as the others, but nonetheless he nods, announcing the schedule has been officially confirmed. A collective acclaim fills the room, only for the boy to stop it with a raise of his pointer finger, “Now, I will assign you guys in your respective cars.” Which is comically followed by a joint groan, and some protests. Hoseok ignores them, and goes on reading off his perfectly planned out Word document.

”Namjoon is the first driver, and he’s travelling with Iseul, Seokjin and Sora,” he looks up to briefly check with the mentioned members to see if there are any complaints, then proceeds. “We’ve got Yoongi with me, Aera and Taehyung. Then…” Hoseok squints his eyes while scrolling down the document, and those few seconds of silence are enough for Eunbi’s thoughts to anticipate what is about to follow. She lowers her head, unwilling to meet Jeongguk’s glare when Hoseok says, “Jeongguk is driving with Jimin, Dahye and Eunbi. All set?”

The positive response is quick, even too rushed and disregardful of what was said, as Namjoon and Taehyung have been impatiently begging for the never-ending organising to be over so they could order food and finally fill their starved stomachs. No one pays any mind to it, but Eunbi and Jeongguk stay quiet, while Jimin and Dahye share a knowing look. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

The evening is spent in the cramped living room of Eunbi and Dahye’s shared flat, eating pizza and letting a random movie play, which soon only functioned as a background noise the moment Taehyung started a game of Would You Rather. Even if Yoongi initially shushed him, everyone eventually became more delighted with Seokjin’s unthinkable suggestions than with the film, “Would you rather be trapped in a small room with 10,000 tarantulas for 10 minutes, or eat 10 tarantulas in 10 minutes?”

Eunbi tries to let herself be distracted by the content smiles on her friends’ faces, even feels less distressed when she notices Jeongguk relaxing as well, but that doesn’t stop her mind from overflowing with all the things that could potentially go wrong. It inevitably shows on her face, and in her unusual quietness. She has been pondering on the last information Hoseok had shared about the confirmed schedule for hours now, worrying it was going to start the trip on the wrong foot. There were all the best intentions to not poke the sleeping bear, but she fears being in the same car as him is going to stir him awake.

After the group leaves the apartment at past 1 a.m., Hoseok checking with everyone that they’ll show up at 8 sharp tomorrow morning in front of the same building they’re now parting ways from, Eunbi releases a long sigh as she closes the door behind her shoulders. Dahye catches the look on her features immediately, taking her pretty face in between her palms, “I’m sorry for earlier. I was trying to help.” She pouts, and it makes the shorter girl chuckle.

Eunbi shakes her head, dismissing her apology with a small it’s okay, and freeing herself from her friend’s hold so as to avoid meeting her eyes, instead busying herself with tidying up the mess in the living room. Her flatmate looks at the strangely silent girl narrowly, “What are you thinking? Please, don’t let it be something stupid like I don’t wanna drive in Jeongguk’s car.”

When all Dahye is met with is silence, she knows that specific something stupid is flowing in the other girl’s head. Eunbi spends the next hour packing and letting Dahye think she’s wholly convincing her distressed roommate nothing could go wrong from just being close to each other, and if anything, it could be a starting point.

For the sake of getting at least three hours of sleep before the long drive ahead, Eunbi fake promises her friend that she won’t let such thoughts haunt her mind and stop her from enjoying the holiday (she was forced to repeat those exact words) knowing she’s going to let them do precisely that. She also ends up staying awake all night either way, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse that she can use to ask Hoseok if a small change would be possible, hoping it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to him and his perfect plan.

When the following morning rolls around, the group gathers in the courtyard of the flat complex as instructed hours earlier by Hoseok, who looks like he’s on the verge of a serious crisis when it’s one minute past 8 a.m. and Taehyung still hasn’t shown up. Eunbi fears for her life when she taps his shoulder as delicately as she can, still unable to avoid a jumpy reaction from the boy, who then relaxes when he sees the girl’s sweet smile. That lasts for about one second, because when Eunbi softly asks him if they can talk he’s back to puffing out panicky breaths.

She hesitates a moment before uttering in one single exhale, “I’d rather not go in Jeongguk’s car.” Faced with Hoseok’s perplexed stare, she goes on explaining in a rushed, messy speech, “It’s nothing personal, really. It’s just- Iseul! Yeah, Iseul begged me to be in the car with Dahye… She doesn’t know Sora that well so she said it would be way too awkward. I can go with Namjoon!” She ends it by trying to sport a convincing grin on her lips, but with the way it looks like she’s being held at gunpoint to smile it’s doing the exact opposite, not helping in hiding her own panic at all.

Hoseok takes a few seconds to process her request and read her expression, but in the end he just shrugs and nods enthusiastically, “That’s okay!” He then claps his hands twice, recalling the others’ attention who comically snap their heads in unison, hanging on the boss’ lips, “Tiny change. Eunbi doesn’t wanna be in Jeongguk’s car, so she’s going with Namjoon.”

For the second time in under 24 hours, Eunbi is so embarrassed she prays the ground to swallow her whole. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be making a big deal out of the way he worded his announcement, busy typing away on his phone, probably updating his Word document with the recent change. The others don’t look too fazed either, accustomed with the two infamously not being too fond of each other for no apparent reason, except for Dahye and Jimin: the former is looking at the girl incredulously; the latter has shifted his attention to his best friend.

Eunbi can feel cold sweat dripping down her forehead, the weight of the world crushing on her shoulders. She’s afraid to follow Jimin’s line of vision, but as she slowly does, it leads her to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze, a slight pissed scowl hardening his features along with his brows almost meeting at the bridge of his nose. His all black attire composed of an oversized t-shirt, cargo bermuda shorts and chunky sandals matches perfectly with the look on his face. He seems confused, and unnerved. And sad? This is not how things were supposed to unfold.

Under such pressure, the girl impulsively releases a nervous laugh, her whole face red with awkwardness, “It’s not like I didn’t- Okay! I’ll just go wait in the car.” Her head hangs as she distances herself from the group, finding an escape from Jeongguk’s disappointment in Namjoon’s car. She bangs her head on the dashboard a few times, making the most of the last minutes alone she’s getting before departure.

Starring in that shitshow was not on her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip in any way. On the contrary, what she has been trying to do is going by the rules of the list itself: stay away from Jeongguk and don’t be a bother. Instead, the opposite seems to be happening every time she attempts to be nice to him so as to not be a hassle during the trip. Releasing a shaky breath, she hopes her intentions wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the boy, as she tries foolishly convincing herself the telepathy between them still exists, at least to a small extent. She was only doing this for him. To make it easier for him. Please, please send this telepathic message to Jeongguk.

Connection probably isn’t working too well, because when they all get to the destination after a fairly long ride, Jeongguk still looks pissed, shutting the car door with more energy than required and unloading the luggages, taking his and Iseul’s to the entrance of the camping site. Eunbi narrows her eyes as she observes the scene, the short haired girl thanking the previously annoyed boy and effortlessly putting a smile on his lips, and she almost doesn’t notice Namjoon urging her to move. She abruptly shakes herself out of that trance, relaxing her hands that had subconsciously closed into fists, and takes her bags out of the car. As she clumsily drags them on both of her shoulders, her Converses do little to protect her soles from the rocky ground, and she groans. It’s not like she was expecting Namjoon to carry her baggage, she can do it herself. But as she keeps watching Jeongguk easily handling all that weight, she huffs.

The campsite looks amazing. The space that the group has at their disposal is huge and wholly surrounded by nature, making it the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Not too far, in between trees, a glimpse of the sun reflecting its rays in a large lake can be caught. Eunbi witnesses an excellently carried out jam session, with the lively enthusiasm of her friends on microphone, birds on percussion and cicadas on bass. She smiles, and sighs contentedly. Dahye’s words from last night echo in her head, don’t let this stop you from enjoying the holiday, and today she wants to believe them. She’s glad she chose to wear jeans shorts instead of cargos, the heat slowly but surely rising, and a flowy white top that keeps her fresh, for now.

Hoseok instructs them to get to work, and they do. All their bags are gathered under a big ancient tree as each couple and trio starts (tries) setting their tents. While they’re busy figuring out how to ensure the tent won’t fly away, which Taehyung fears particularly, Jimin and Jeongguk offer themselves to go and fill everyone’s water flask at a nearby drinking fountain they had found. Eunbi kneels down to fish hers out of a blue backpack and goes to hand it out to Jeongguk, who’s collecting Dahye’s bottle. The boy smiles at her friend, but it gets wiped off when he shifts his gaze on Eunbi’s shorter figure. The moment is brief, and awkward: her big unsure eyes stare into his hardened ones, arm extended out to him, wondering if there might be something funny on her face for him to turn so serious; she hesitantly lifts her brows, waiting for something; Jeongguk looks her up and down, only to not acknowledge her water flask, and just walks past her.

Eunbi is dumbfounded, the tip of her ears reddening as she remains paralysed with her hand out, even after Jimin collects her flask, muttering something close to Don’t mind him, please accompanied by an apologetic smile. She regains consciousness of her surroundings only when, beside her, Dahye can’t help the snort coming out of her mouth, trying but failing to save it with her hand. The still shocked girl slowly turns to face her amused friend, mouth slightly agape and left eye clearly twitching, “Did he just… act as if I don’t exist.”

The situation shouldn’t be funny, but to Dahye it’s the peak of comedy as she keeps giggling the more the slow realisation of what has just happened shows on Eunbi’s features. Obviously, the latter can’t find one single reason to laugh about it, whining while the taller girl pats her shoulder, still smiling, “You really need to talk to him.”

The targeted girl ignores that, biting her nails nervously, ”Was he saying anything about… me, in the car?”

Dahye lifts her brows, shaking her head, ”Nothing. He’s probably talking shit about you with Jimin, though.” Eunbi follows her pointed finger and catches Jeongguk animatedly discussing with his flatmate, balancing the bottles in his arms, before they turn a corner. Eunbi fusses, lightly tugging on her braided pigtails, and she feels helpless as even the friend who’s supposed to be supporting her through all of this is chuckling at her. Despite being shorter, when Eunbi shoves Dahye’s shoulder she manages to make her stumble, but that doesn’t stop her laughs, though.

”You’re building the tent on your own.” Arms crossed and pout on, Eunbi isn’t joking as she goes to sit under the tree surrounded by bags and ignores her name being called out. Rather than reacting to it, she spots tiny bugs between the grass and inspects them for a while, pretending it keeps her distracted from what’s plaguing her mind. Soon after, with her knees to her chest, watching those ants working to transfer food from one side to the other inevitably gets her lost in her thoughts. What is she doing wrong? There’s clearly unresolved problems between her and the boy who brutally ignored her existence minutes ago, but she thought maybe if she started seeking for truce, then he would too. His response, instead, makes her realise no matter how much she tries, it’s apparently not enough to mend what happened all those years ago. She messed up worse than imagined.

The constant pondering makes her lose track of time, and she comes back to reality with undesired outcomes that she convinces herself to be true. When she recovers from the (as she has deduced, deserved) humiliation, Dahye has already set up half of the tent and Eunbi walks over to her bashfully, “Sorry for being childish. I’ll finish this, Hye.” The girl just smiles softly and nods, sending her a flying kiss that makes Eunbi chuckle before taking her previous spot under the tree. At least Dahye doesn’t hate her.

It takes her a while to figure out what to do but she soon grasps how hard a seemingly simple task can be, feeling bad for letting Dahye do a great part of it on her own. Still, she needs to work fast as lunch time is approaching, and everybody around her is almost finished. She has been crouching on a particular spot on the ground for a while now, trying to properly secure an angle of the tent unsuccessfully. Until she groans exasperated, puffing her hair out of her vision and lifting her body up to find a solution. She tries stomping on it a few times, but it doesn’t work, and if anything it worsens the situation. Huffing out, with her hands on her hips she looks around for help, and the first person her eyes fall on is Jeongguk.

He was already staring at her, comfortably sitting on a deckchair with his legs spread and sunglasses on. His tent looks perfectly set already, with Jimin seemingly fixing the inside of it. His hand is covering his mouth before he uses it to lift his glasses over his head, and is that a smirk? They both stare at each other in silence, Eunbi still struggling to breathe, and she hesitates slightly until her eagerness to be over with the tent becomes stronger. She speaks up to make herself heard over the small distance, “Can you- help me?”

Jeongguk narrows her eyes at her, initially not answering but not even moving from his relaxed position. The girl is ready to be met with silence again, but it’s something worse when he opens his mouth, “I think Namjoon would be happy to do that.” He’s as stern as ever as he returns the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, furtherly spreading his whole body on the chair and facing the sun. Only then, he releases a content sigh, smiling slightly.

All of this cannot be real. What does that even mean? Eunbi can feel her eye start to twitch again and she needs to clench her jaw to stop it. It’s okay. Breathe. She unexpectedly but successfully manages to hold herself from exploding on him, both overwhelmed with tent building and frustrated with his behaviour. She can’t really decipher what led him to not only act cold, as he usually is with her, which is fine, but also mean! But no problem, she’ll try once again. It costs nothing to be nice. And she tells herself she’ll stay that way, even if she’s met with the opposite, until he breaks.

The storm of negative emotions tormenting her thoughts can be distortedly seen as a good thing on one side, if she considers that the sudden adrenaline flowing in her body gets her through most of the task without any help, even mindlessly, while she keeps reflecting on the interaction and the previous ones. Why the fuck would Namjoon be happy to help her? Well, he would, he’s naturally a helper, but why did Jeongguk say that? Is he really that pissed about her going in his car? She tries to understand, she really does. Keep being nice is what she tells herself instead.

When the tent is finally up, only with Dahye’s finishing touches, and food is finally in her stomach, refilling her energy tank, it’s like there’s a switch going off in her head, making it seem as if nothing bad has ever happened. Eunbi is back to her talkative self with a full tummy and a bashful grin while her best friend teases her for the earlier tantrum she went on about, but at least it’s all smiles again.

The first day at the campsite is spent basking in the slowness that follows after ticking off the only two activities planned for today on Hoseok’s schedule: setting their tents and preparing meals for lunch and dinner. The boss then instructs the group on just getting acquainted with their surroundings, and they don’t need to be told twice, making the most out of those short remaining moments of ease.

The rest of those hours are used to laze by the huge lake, in between swims and sunbathes. Luckily, Eunbi had packed a few bikinis and she chose to wear a black set, its laces meeting at the back with a bow. Sitting back and taking it easy, before all that she will be faced with the next few days, gives her a chance to get closer to the others. During the earlier drive, she had the opportunity to chat with Sora and discover the sweetheart she truly is, and the car was then easily filled with laughter, mostly provided by Namjoon and Seokjin’s terrible jokes. She now sits by Sora on a beach towel, all the other girls in a circle catching up and laying by the sun. In the back of their gossip session, the boys could be heard laughing and squealing, and the sound reminded Eunbi of sweet childhood. She briefly shifts her attention to them and smiles when she observes how they’re doing the most to tire their energy out, from using a rope hanging by the branch of a tree to leap into the water, to initiating a volleyball match using one of their rolled up towels.

Eunbi grows even fonder than before of the people she’s surrounded with, the earlier stress leaving her body and being replaced by serenity, a small sigh released from her lips before she returns to listen to the girls’ chat. She laughs at something Dahye says and jumps on it excitedly, making the others chuckle at the two friends eagerly recounting one of their craziest uni experiences so far.

All of it is short lived when Taehyung and Jimin suddenly drop a water balloon over their heads, a collective gasp filling the space followed by the two boys’ childish giggles and Dahye’s screams, getting up to run after them. They all spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get back at each other with more pranks, bathing in the lake’s cold water and taking silly group pictures to seal the day. As the sun begins to set, they all sit on their towels and silently observe nature, definitely too tired to speak, and preferring to savour the sweet moment.

When the sun finally leaves its place for the moon to rise and the group of friends gets back to their tents, their stomachs growling signal it’s time for dinner. They take turns to shower using the nearby public structure and then help setting a campfire to cook. It also works as a very needed source of heat, given the temperature has significantly dropped and their bodies are still humid from washing up. Eunbi wears the grey cargos she had discarded earlier this morning when deciding on what to put on, and a white tee, her damp hair falling on her shoulders and making her feel slightly chilly. She comes up beside Yoongi to help him with the meat, benefiting from the warmth of the fire.

There’s not much talk between the two, only the older boy advising her to be careful of the flames every two minutes, but it’s comfortable. Eunbi still has a hard time reading through Yoongi, and maybe it’s what she enjoys the most about him: his aura is soothing and it exudes security. He doesn’t exactly show it, but he’s deeply attentive and caring of his friends, and the girl feels safe next to him. She can sense him looking over at her while the meat is cooking, and as she turns to him she meets his eyes with a smile. He ponders, scanning her face “You got sunburnt. You need to wear sunscreen tomorrow, or it’ll get worse.”

Eunbi chuckles, dragging her pointer finger up and down her red nose, “Yeah, I know. It kinda hurts but it looks like I have natural blush now!”

Yoongi shakes his head with a small amused scoff, “That’s stupid, Eunbi. Wait for me here, I’ll go get you an after-sun cream.” And even as he walks off, he reminds her to not stay too close to the fire. She thinks that’s an exact demonstration of what the boy is truly like in her head.

The girl keeps grilling the meat, humming unknown melodies under her breath, and she almost misses a broad figure sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the fire. When she looks up, it’s Jeongguk avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the flames, their light reflecting in his big orbs and making them shinier. He wears his bermudas from earlier, but he now has a grey Stussy hoodie on top of it. His locks are still wet after freshly coming out of a shower, and they curl on his forehead, making him look like a poodle. She smiles. It’s like 15 years old Jeongguk is there with her again, his bare, exhausted face and droopy eyes taking her back to Busan. Without even realising what she’s doing, she extends a cooked piece of meat his way, “You want some?”

Startled, the boy breaks from his spacing-out and registers the request. He looks between Eunbi and the meat, gulping. He licks his lips, and she swears she can also hear his stomach rumbling. When he keeps ogling the food without replying, she wiggles the fork and his eyes follow its every movement, as if hypnotised. Then, he suddenly screws his eyelids shut and breaks from the trance, simply shaking his head no and fishing his phone out of his pocket, mindlessly scrolling on it. Just like that, she’s back to the present, and Jeongguk hates her. Eunbi narrowly glares at him while he can’t see her.

Yoongi comes back soon after with two different creams in his hands, and he gives them to Eunbi with a chuckle. She thanks him and lets him take over the cooking, while she curiously inspects the products, still standing next to the fire. When Yoongi spots his younger friend on the chair, he asks the same exact question as her, forking a piece of meat, “You want some?”

Jeongguk’s attention is back up, this time on Yoongi, and when he sees what his hyung is referring to he eagerly nods. Eunbi interrupts her examination just in time to see the boy hungrily shoving the food in his mouth, brows furrowed and praising noises accompanying his munching, making the older friend by her side chuckle. Instead, the girl is once again in disbelief, even more as he watches Jeongguk patting his knee with force, satisfied with the bite, “Hyung, this shit is so good. I want more.”

Eunbi scoffs imperceptibly, leaving the scene with an annoyed scowl wrecking her pretty features. As she enters her tent, she’s glad Dahye is still showering as she makes the most of that isolating moment. She sighs wearily and whips out her phone. Using its camera, she tries to ignore her tumbling emotions and instead puts on the creams Yoongi had given her, but not even those are enough to distract her. She’s still incredulous at what she’s being put through, her patience wearing thin, and the pact she made with herself before coming here is dangerously close to being broken.

Dinner is spent with good food and even better people, and only then Eunbi visibly untenses again. In between bites and full mouths, they go from discussing random facts to casually engaging in games of Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, the beer bottles slowly being emptied while their tummies get filled. When they’re done eating, the relaxed smiles on their faces implicitly communicate how the meal has been the perfect ending to the lovely day spent together. Still, they stay by the fire and keep up an effortless chat. When one of them comments on the limpidity of the sky, its stars being perfectly visible in this zone of Seoul, they all look up and stare in silence at the fullness of the lights.

Even if it’s not too late, the weariness from being out in the sun for multiple consecutive hours is weightening down on most of them, Seokjin and Sora retiring to their tents, soon after being followed by Yoongi and Hoseok.

It’s a little past midnight, and Eunbi starts to feel more and more affected by the cool breeze, its effects showing on her prickled skin. She tries to warm herself up by rubbing her exposed arms with her hands, but it’s to no avail, “God, I’m so cold.”

A collective agreement follows her claim, with Iseul speaking up and curling herself into a ball on the deckchair she’s sitting on by taking her legs up to her chest and hugging them close, “Me too, it’s freezing.”

”Oh, I have a spare hoodie.” Both girls snap their heads at the voice, which belongs to Jeongguk. However, as he quickly gets up to retrieve the sweater from his tent, it’s not clear who between the two he’s referring to, their curious expectant eyes following his every movement. Eunbi has her reasons to feel so eager, given the fact that she has been begging for one nice interaction with the boy, a spark of hope lighting up in her chest at his offer. On the other hand, she doesn’t know why the other girl seems equally excited, twirling her short hair around her fingers as she waits for Jeongguk to come out of the tent again. She huffs, a pout ending on her features.

When the sought-after boy gets back with a blueish crewneck in his arms, both girls hold their breaths, the sudden tension going unnoticed by the others (except for Dahye, she’s like a psychic when it comes to her best friend’s emotions), until Jeongguk lays the piece of clothing on Iseul’s shoulders, coming behind her and then sitting on his chair again.

Iseul bashfully thanks him, the tips of her ears seemingly reddening while a sweet, alluring smile makes its way on her lips. Eunbi scoffs at that, and if looks could kill Iseul would be dead right now. The dirty look she sends her way luckily goes unnoticed, and she keeps hugging her own body trying to provide herself with warmth. When she shifts her attention to Jeongguk, he’s already looking at her, smirking. She can’t be convinced he isn’t doing all this on purpose.

Even with her teeth almost chattering, the neglected girl forces herself to stay with the others until the end, and with Namjoon and Taehyung retiring to sleep only six of them remain. Under a white full moon, the conversation doesn’t really follow a clear direction, steering from existential questions that none really have the answers to, to Jimin’s drunken adventures. Jeongguk giddily joins the recounting and adds many details to it, specifically highlighting the embarrassing parts that his roommate is trying to omit to save face, and making all of his friends laugh with their whole chest, Eunbi included. She simply can’t ignore the fact that he’s naturally charming, and hilarious as well. In the middle of his storytelling, his whole body gets involved and it makes the events seem even more impressive. Eunbi smiles when she compares the Jeongguk in front of her to the beloved one in her past, the one that would sit her down and force her to keep up with his running imagination, constantly up with new ideas for silly scripts.

Then it’s Dahye’s turn to share one of her experiences, and Eunbi inevitably gets thrown into the tale, which had seen the two friends drunkenly sneaking themselves into a concert. It’s like they’re perfectly mirroring Jimin and Jeongguk’s dynamic, because while Dahye is trying to leave out critical parts of the story, Eunbi strongly insists on specifying them with an unseen emphasis for 1 a.m., causing everybody to laugh along. In between chuckles, her eyes fall on Jeongguk, who is mindlessly scrolling on his phone and seemingly not paying attention. Throughout the recounting, she notices Jeongguk distractly listening but never laughing, and if he does it’s only after something said by Dahye. Slowly, the enthusiasm gets wiped off her face as she curls up on the chair, sulkily letting her friend finish telling the story.

Another hour of effortless conversation goes by, and Jeongguk is back to lively chatting again, his animated gestures and witty jokes getting laughter out of his friends, but this time Eunbi doesn’t join. She silently sets on observing the boy, despite being caught a few times. She really wants to understand the reason behind his behaviour, but there’s no factual explanation she can come up with other than the obvious reasons that put them in this situation in the first place. If that’s the case, there’s nothing much she can do other than going up to him and finally talking it out like the mature adults they should be, but with their petty, silent bickering she doesn’t think that’s happening any soon.

While she’s busy squinting her eyes at the boy, in a borderline creepy manner, she doesn’t notice Iseul crouching in half in laughter at something Jeongguk said, until she’s directly referring to her, “Oh god, Eunbi! Why did you never tell me Jeongguk was this funny?” Said girl is startled by the question and by the abrupt interruption that shakes her out of her trance, confusion written on her face and it must be evident with the way Iseul goes on explaining, “Dahye told me you’ve known him for a long time.”

All at once, the atmosphere is tense and maybe Iseul and Aera can’t feel it, but Dahye definitely can as she snaps her head to her friend, who’s staring directly into Jeongguk’s eyes. The two seem to be battling an unnamed war through eye contact, and the intensity of the boy’s gaze ignites something implacable in the girl’s chest, dangerously close to rage, and it has to do with all the feelings she’s had to bottle up in less than 24 hours. She scoffs, referring to Iseul but never breaking the staring contest with the boy, “Oh, is he? Don’t think I’m well acquainted with that side of him yet.”

If the tension wasn’t palpable to everyone before the comment, it surely is now, the only ones that have something left to say being the crickets and owls in the background. Jeongguk only snickers before washing a hand over his face, an unsettling smirk on his lips. He seems to finally acknowledge the other girl’s presence, but it’s not in the way Eunbi initially imagined it would go. Instead, it’s venom spitting out of his mouth, “You would've been if you weren’t so self centred, always wrapped in your own bubble all the fucking time.”

Eunbi's confidence falls as quick as her heart, a sudden force weighing on it and almost crushing it. She’s fast at hiding it, ignoring the slight sting she can sense in the back of her eyelids, her only goal is to shoot harder. She forces the fakest smile she can muster, “Self centred? Are you sure you're talking about me?” The affronted girl scoffs, loud and sarcastic, “Fuck, and I thought you'd know better than that, Jeongguk. You should try getting your head out of your ass and look around. Maybe you'd see how shitty you've been treating all of us-” me “-for these past weeks.”

Jeongguk is visibly taken aback, and it’s his heart falling this time, his face following suit. His broken features do little to hide the doubts plaguing his spiralling mind. Had he pushed it too far? Had he been actually so bad to his own friends? Seeing his contender’s face relaxing with victory makes him snap out of the sudden trance, as he regains consciousness fast. No, he hasn’t. Fuck this. Blinded by anger, he utters the unimaginable, “Speak for yourself when you say shit like that. As far as I'm concerned, I've been treating you fairly seeing the bitch you are.”

His eyes are as pitch as black, the stars in them that Eunbi would love to get lost into are unreachable now, almost as if a dark cloud had obscured them. It must be the pollution that's taking over his heart too.

She’s frozen in place as the cruel words echo in her mind, the force that was keeping her heart underwater had managed to crush it, and it was now coming up her throat, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her ears ring with the sudden lack of oxygen, and she can only faintly hear Dahye’s raging comments coming in her defence against Jeongguk. She can only seem to focus on the cracking of the fire, though, its thumping noise suddenly unbearable, as she feels more and more engulfed in its flames. She forces all sounds to come back to her, strongly pulling herself out of her own plagued head, the boy in front of her now unrecognisable to her empty eyes.

Looking around, she notices all of her friends — his, after all — had gone extremely quiet, the pressure weighing on them too. She can't stand it, needs to get out. She wishes she had never agreed to this. So much for keeping her peace. Yet, she'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt her. She'll die before crying in front of him.

“Well, if you don't mind, the bitch has had enough now, so with all due respect, she's going to sleep.” With a forced tight lipped smile, she gets up in one fast movement and walks to her tent, leaving the others disoriented, and a still furious Dahye scoffing at Jeongguk. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in her shelter, clenching his jaw and announcing his departure soon after.

Inside the tent, Eunbi takes several deep breaths trying to calm down, and she feels frail when she can sense her eyes prickle with tears. She tells herself it’s angry ones. Apparently, being nice isn’t enough, and she watches as the seal to her pact shatters with force, signalling no come back. Following suit, the puzzle breaks once again, and she’s left scrambling for the pieces falling, looking for the one that will start it over again. And this time, it’s going to be even harder.

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

#me going ‘hot new neighbor older ian and smitten flirty mickey / is that anything’ and just thinking about it a lot -> 🤲 right here pls

oh boy cross. oh boy cross.

(age difference - 22/32)

mickey and mandy live together and are really close to the handful of neighbors on their street (all ages/personalities/occupations). like they've formed this family and spend a lot of time together. it's so normal for them to eat dinner together during the week that they have a rotation on who hosts and cooks. lil commune, almost.

this new guy moves into the empty house next to mickey and mandy and everyone's kinda ehhh about it until they start introducing themselves one by one. mandy gets a call from Joan two houses down and is on for a LONG time. when she gets off and comes into the living room it's with some scalding gossip for mickey. the new neighbor is apparently a total dreamboat and the kindest mf on the planet and mandy declares that she's going over to welcome him IMMEDIATELY.

when she comes back she is BUZZING with how charming and funny and down to earth this guy is and mickey is all uh huh...yup...etc. because surely this is just female hysteria (mickey you can't say that). but then he actually meets ian. idk how. idk when. running into him coming home from work? idk. and like.......wow, god damn the ladies were not kidding. dude may have a decade on him but he's all built and strong and has a beard and glasses and possibly worst of all, he's very nice. very charming. but all the fawning behind the scenes is really getting on mickey's nerves, so it kind of taints it a little.

yada yada yada oh my god ian is coming to dinner. Joan has invited him into their little circle. it goes really well and everyone gets along really good and mickey's just sitting there wondering how one man can look so impossibly hot while sheepishly dodging stray compliments. eventually theyre cleaning up and it's somehow just mickey and ian and it's nice. it's really comfortable. ian is really cool and has good advice from that extra decade.

time jump. lots of dinners and hanging out with the group. one night mickey hits up his other gay friend and they secretly go to the gay bar a little past the city limit. mickey's still in the closet, even to mandy, so he needs these nights to just like...exist. him and the friend are getting drunk as fuck. mickey is laughing and goes to wobble his way to the bathroom and accidentally runs into this tall dude who turns around and ope! guess who it is! uh oh! but is it uh oh? because mickey may be getting outted, but ian's also here for the same reason. and they're kinda just standing there for a second, their smiles falling and their brains turning with this new information, and then ian gets pulled back along track by someone.

next dinner. everyone is very normal and fine but ian and mickey are chomping at the bit. when dinner's over, mickey practically drags ian into another room and goes through the whole "you can't tell anybody, alright? nobody knows" song and dance. and ian is like "yeah no of course not. and i hope that would extend to me too." and they make a pact that this knowledge will stay between them.

which is very easy. except for the fact that mickey comes to the realization that oh fuck, they are compatible. oh fuck, he really likes ian as a person. oh fuck, he knows there's that decade between them but he would drop to his knees for him in a heartbeat if ian asked him to. which he doesn't. and doesn't. and doesn't. but mickey's getting more and more attracted to him and actually, the whole beard/glasses/life experience thing is really fucking hot to him.

so he starts trying to flirt. starts laying the groundwork. mowing the lawn with his shirt off. asking ian if he wants to work out in the garage together. keeping his bedroom light on while he undresses in front of the window. he even opens it one night when he sees ian's window open too and lets just say...puts on a show, not truly knowing if ian can hear him, but hoping so.

idk how it ends. idk how far it goes. all i know is ian is Very cognizant of the age difference and makes great strides to keep everything at an arm's length. SEXUAL TENSION (bass boosted). but mickey is mickey. and mickey has a lot of fun trying to get ian to fuck him.

[jampookie]

🎸⚡ Max Trio Headcanons Time!!!! Yay!!!!

IF YOU HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN PLSSSSS TELL ME OMGOMG

Jaime:

- SHE DATED MARIA IN MIDDLE SCHOOL: IDC. THEYRE MIDDLE SCHOOL EXES what evidence do I have?? uhhh,,,.......none but i pinky promise they are.

- She's Chinese and Freeeench!!! : Chinese from her Mom and French from her Dad. She knows both languages fairly well and her favorite hobby is to say random things to Max in them that he will never understand (and loses his mind over~)

- She used to have medium length hair but cut it in freshman year: New Year New (Jai)Me!!!

- This is even more random than the Maria one but I hc her to be siblings with the spinoff ep 2 nurse: hear me out okay i just.........idk i think it's probably the lack of max trio content that's getting to my mind.

and it's just nurse lady has the same color palette as jaime ssss...sso...so....WHATEVER

- ⬆️ Adding to thisssss:

When she was a kid her sis was goth (liek as a teen? 10 year age gap between them im guessing) and mini 5 year old Jaime always felt INSPIRED🪄🪄 so she got alot of practice as a kid by stealing makeup hehehe and now she has a PhD in dressing goth! huzzah!

...most of her clothes are hand me downs but atleast she got a starter pack of some sorts 😾

- Whenever she's bored she practices her makeup-ing on Damien,: Since he can actually sit still. She tried it on Max but he either fell off the chair or subconsciously rubbed it all off when his face got itchy....whoops.

- She playssss....keyboard 🎹! I think! And she probably sings sometimes too. Lalalala 🎤🎤

- After Ep 11 events she made pretty good friends with Jake!!!:

Fun Scenario - One day Jaime just so happened to not have makeup on so she was just walking around with her natural BEAUTAY but Jake didn't recognize her like that so he released a quite high pitched SHRIEK and fell backwards thinking she was someone else. They were both quite confused.

- DAMIEN AND MAX CALL HER 'JAY' AS A NICKNAME: Change my mind😈😈😡🤑

- She's not very good at facial expressions:

If she's having the time of her life she'll slightly smile. If she fell off a cliff and lost a few limbs she might slightly pout. The other 99.99% of the times in her life are just a deadpan expression, 😐.

Max:

- MAAAAAAX MY MAIN MAN!!!!!: Before I FULLY start up abt him I just wanna blab a lil on how I think him and Jaime met.

In either Freshmen or MS (I can't decide) Jaime was just listening to music in art class minding her own business till a red and orange gremlin invited himself into her personal space. "WHAT THE HELL DUDE YOU LISTEN TO (certain cool band) TOO!?!? WHAAAAT!?!?" shrieked the gremlin, unaware and uncaring of the other 30 people in the room.

And there you go. Jaime Max friendship. Huzzah!

- Half Brazilian Half Mexican!!: Mexican from his Mom so he knows his Spanissssh!!! I've never thought about Max's dad so lets say he's fatherless. Good for him.

⬆️ - ONTO THIS: I also headcanon Drew as half Mexican (and half Filipino if anyones interested) so so so so SO me thinks Drew and Max are cousins! Teehee!

They used to get along. They fell out. Or the two sides of the family fell out? Can't decide but I will agree with any theory that suggest DRAX ENEMIES GAAAHHHH DRAX ENEMIES!!!!!

- He plays guitar, drums and also sings: Triple cool 😆

- His eyebrow piercing got irritated alot. Like ALOT:

He forgot to clean it. Damien tried endlessly to tell him he'd end up with a tomato brow if he didn't take care of it. He didn't really listen but hey it worked out in the end!! happy days!

- He has BIG mood swings BIG: This is canon but WHATEVER. I like to imagine some of the hangouts he has with his friends go like:

5 minutes in: Oh yay! This is a fun hangout!

10 minutes in: I HATE THE FLOOR AND I HATE THE TWO OF YOU GO AWAY LEAVRMA,LEN,ENNOW

12 minutes in: I love you guys pls neevrbr leavemr idk what Id do without u ❤️❤️ group hug guys group HUG❤️

13 minutes in: we're not hanging out anymore

13½ minutes in: NO COME BACK IM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT

- He laughs either like a hyena or like Peter Griffin: he's either "SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGKAKLJJABLJAHLJIBJAKLBJAKLLJABJKBJAIBZIBAIJBIABJLIBIAIBJLIBJLALBJAJLBIKABJLIKBMAL" or "nyeheheheheheh...." depends if he's feeling BIG AND BOLD or mischievous cheshire cat 😈

- His love language is pacing around the room and telling you his grand bizarre plans and interests. Just endlessly talking....:

Me too Max. Me too.

- Sport is one of his other hobbies besides music he definitely loves the competitiveness part in sport class:

Half his classmates want him blown to smithereens, but hey he's a really good player so the sporty ones like him! He LOVES to win AND WON'T ACCEPT A DRAW EITHER HE WILL NOT

every time a draw happens he grabs the nearest ball and throws it at the nearest person while shrieking in agony

When his team wins hes like ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡🤣🤡😂🤣🤡😂🤡☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻 nanananananananan hahahahahah

- He has ALOT of his freckles because he's always outside:

It's the only reason Jaime and Damien have an ounce of Vitamin D, cause Max always drags them outside to hang out!

- TOOTH GAP. CANON. CANON. DONT CARE:

😁😁😁

- Him and Damien love South Park!!:

His favorite is probably Cartmannn..... He likes to imagine himswlf and Damien as Cartman and Kyle. He's very sad Jaime doesn't really watch it though.

- All 3 of them love Homestuck though!!!! When the 4th member of their band didn't DITCH THEM YET (🙄) They all cosplayed the Beta kids:

Max was Dave, Damien was John, Jaime as Roseeee.....and Loser Traitor 4th member was Jade. Screw you LT.

Damien:

Damikins Damikins Damishminkywins my little shmitten kitten booboo snooky cookie🥹🥹🥹🥹

HE HAS STRETCHED LOBES.: IM TELLING YOU.

He also has lazy eye: if you don't know what that is it's basically One eye is great and does it's job. Second eye sucks and goes loosy goosey (up down left right instead of centre we'll say.)

HE'S GERMANNNN: I can't decide if he actually speaks German though idk....hmmmmmmm yeah maybe actually

Likes to paint 🎨🎨: AND HE'S DAMN GOOD AT IT TOO 😈😈 He mainly does objects but sometimes people!

HIM AND HAILEY MAKE THE BESTEST FRIENDS!: They're both physically 17 but internally 97. They stand together, deeply sigh together and criticize the hideously idiotic people around them. Damiens the more talented one at it though.

⬆️ wait this just occured to me. Hailey Damien and Zander as a trio would be so great?? OMG

New HC!!!! Him and Zander both wear alot of jewelry (bracelets and rings and stuff) so they might trade some 🤔🤔: hmmm

He's one of those people that's naturally very good at Math: so he's always the one his friends (or just random classmates..) go to for either answers to steal or just for help. He doesn't really mind either, how kind of him 😁😁

Basic Stuff..

..like bdays and heights!!!

🎁

Max: December 3rd 2003

Damien: January 17th 2003

Jaime: October 31st 2003

📏

Max: 5'7 idk (170cm)

Damien: 6'3 (190cm)

Jaime: 5'3½! (161cm)

OKAY THERES THAT DONE. idk if you can edit posts i forgor but hey if i think of any more hcs or see any from others I like I'll come back and update. TY FOR READING ALL THIS BABBLING HELPME

[tired-lamb]

trick or theat >:3

allow me to share some concepts for a baobabfruit wedding/union, much aided by @pizacat72 :D

the wedding/union takes place when the guard are all young adults. I like to think it happens in the more foresty side of the pridelands, maybe somewhere around hakuna matata falls but not quite, either. rafiki has been given the honour of uniting the three animals and boy is it an honour to him <3. the royal family attends as does looooads of pridelanders courtesy of beshte and how many animals and birds he knows x].

ok I spent too much time thinking abt who is whose best man, maid of honour, etc etc. but my point is: the entire guard gives speeches dedicated to baobabfruit. if any of you have ideas for who’d be whose best man maid of honour etc etc feel free to share!! I honestly just want anga, kion, fuli and makini to give a speech cause darnit their best friends are finally getting married :]. makini gets everybody all pretty and nice and formal and elegant.

janja is invited to the union because I am a sucker for his and bunga’s friendship. if janja is invited then so is jasiri, and if jasiri’s invited then so is the entire population of outlanders so you see the whole gang there too folks!! maybe not ALL of them, but those who’ve come close to the guard or baobabfruit in general. but janja and jasiri are definitely there.

timon and pumbaa, basi, and kulinda all have front row seats. theyre all teary-eyed, especially timon and pumbaa, to the point that kulinda has to politely ask basi if he can sit in between them bcoz frankly kulinda might as well get soaked /silly /j. very important note!!!! mtoto is the ring boy and is so so proud of his role <3. gem hcs he’d be beshte’s best man which is an hc I love too!! ona is flower girl and you bet she’s the prettiest one ever.

it’s overall a very sweet, sentimental— just kidding it’s absolute chaos but its a good kind of chaos. I think. point is the baobabfruit are united as one :3!!! the events that follow after that include but are not limited to: bunga falling down pride rock and still surviving (#honeybadger /J /J), ono choking on some piece of fruit, the outlanders that have come not knowing exactly who is getting married/united, beshte spending each and every second of the event in the companionship of everybody EXCEPT his partners because of course he needs to thank every single animal for coming to his union what do you take him for??, kion and bunga taking shots in a human au, makini tearing up, technically an event before the union but fuli ends up grabbing ono and running across the entire savannah because DANG IT ONO WHY CANT YOU FLY FASTER, aaaaand several spirits of the past looking down very, very concerned haha.

I love them all your honour :’]

[intertexts]

Hi here to ask nhw quastion again :3 ik ashe and the wards have Problems once ashe gets detrickstered because theyre all triggering each other and dying horribly and messily and its miserable but ! microphone emoji. do you have thoughts about how that would work specifically between virion and ashe

- @suckinitup

(also ik i havent rbed the other thing yet so yee the suck tag works for now akdhskdh i am Between Internet Names atm. and ofc i chose a url thats hard to nickname 😔)

HI!! GOD. YEAH MAN. YEAH I FUCKING DO. literally their dynamic post trickster is something i think about so much. awesome question to ask me. augh. okay. bullet pointing this for now bcos i'm on my phone....

>post-muse ashe & virion have a shared understanding of both.... enacting & witnessing close violence? in a way that nobody else really does. dakota and wibby have been through some fucked up shit!!! they have seen and been victim of and done some incredibly awful things. of course they have. they still don't understand it on as personal a level as virion does-- virion, hiding and watching his family die one by one, virion, killing capes with their own powers. (whenever i think abt virion's stint as a vigilante i think abt taylor saying it's more personal to kill a cape with her power than with a gun. perhaps it's even more personal to kill a cape with their own powers.) the intimacy of violence & the feeling of being nothing except a vessel for it & not being really sure who or what you even are anymore is something that. ashe struggles so much with, & virion Gets. he isn't, like... sympathetic? they're not wailing and crying and virion isn't pitying him. he's just... easier to talk to, sometimes. he isn't.... loudly emotional. he gets it.

>virion also is very quiet and always moves deliberately and with intention. he is like..... as opposite the trickster as possible, in terms of physicality. this-- ashe is triggered easily. wibby's eternal taut vibrating anxious energy, dakota's quick movements n loudness & such... the body language there is. similar, sometimes. it's bad when he catches it out of the corner of his eye, or feels it behind him. virion is absolutely nothing like the trickster. it's calming just being around him. (well. when you're someone he likes.) & being able to relax that constant tension that ashe still has. leading into:

>ashe doesn't touch his hair for weeks, months, maybe, after he gets back. because of. obvious reasons. (i don't remember if an actual post got made abt it but we came to the conclusion that while the trickster loves styling ashe's hair & playing with it like doll hair he does Not have the commitment or attention span for taking care of long hair. frequently he makes him do that part himself. drops his control every so often & throws him a brush & is like. clean it. ashe getting jerked back to awareness sitting very very very scared and alone and small and brushing dried blood and meat out of his hair & braiding it with shaking fingers knowing that he's only lucid as long as it takes to do this. every time it happens he's in a different place and wearing something different.) so like.... when he gets back. he has a really hard time taking care of his own hair. and also obviously a very hard time letting anyone else touch it. it gets tangled and matted and greasy & he's ashamed of it & can't do anything about it & can't bring himself to cut it off and lose one more thing that brought him joy to the trickster. it's virion who eventually helps him with it. it takes so long-- both of them sitting fully dressed in the shower for hours, ashe trying so hard not to shake apart virion going through most of a bottle of conditioner to carefully tease the knots out. virion who doesn't like talking a lot and is always quiet trying to keep up a soft running one-sided conversation the whole time so ashe knows who's behind him. (they tried mirrors and mirrors didn't go well. the trickster had a lot of mirrors.) u know. it doesn't get done in a day or even a couple weeks & sometimes virion accidentally brushes the shell of an ear or the base of his neck in a way that sets off bad sensory memory & they have to take a panicking badly break.

>re: their Problems specifically. another reason why they click like this post-muse is because. virion isn't worried about him hurting him. he and ashe are on a level playing field, when it comes to powers. like, obviously he doesn't. think. anything would happen. & ashe absolutely refuses to use his power anyway. but there's an equality there that lets ashe breathe a little easier too. and muse never hurt imprint the way that he did will or dakota. so virion's hangups when it comes to ashe are 1. he fucking Looks Like Muse. even though his body language is different and he looks like a different person with his hair back down in loose black layers & he doesn't have those orange threads around him. virion sol most paranoid guy alive. he tenses seeing him out of the corner of his eye sometimes & wakes up to see the silver mess of his hair spilling out from under the covers (u know ashe sleeps 100% under the blankets. how is he breathing under there.) & has to breath slowly for a couple minutes and watch the rise and fall of the ashe blanket lump's breath and run through every scenario in which this is muse under the comforter and not ashe and why and how it's incredibly unlikely that this would be muse etc. 2. he is afraid that. ashe/muse will hurt william and dakota. it's irrational. he's spent the past year afraid that muse will hurt william and dakota. he's paralyzed sometimes because he thinks if i leave the room and i leave will and ashe alone in there i'll come back and he'll be dead. & then also especially in the first couple months back there were. a handful of instances when virion was startled and caught off guard and ashe is up against the wall with an arm across his throat or caught in a lock before either of them realize. & it is bad for Both of them because holy shit ashe is panicking and frozen and not breathing at being manhandled like that and he's going to blame himself for this so badly in an hour because obviously it's his fault and he should have known better and of course he's a threat to them. & of course virion has to drop the grip and run away and lock himself in the bathroom out of horror because holy shit he almost just hurt ashe he almost just killed him. he would have killed him. (he wouldn't have.) he hurt him.etc etc. etc.

>ashe knows how v thinks abt him sometimes & understands it & it doesn't make him feel Very miserable because he does get it.but it makes him a little miserable sometimes. but virion's still the one who bumps their hands together so he can copy his power and float the remote over. before the trickster, ashe used to play games on his switch on the couch & virion would sit on the couch back and watch him (v hasn't really played games since his trigger event. all the ones he used to like are covered in the Ooze now.) & it would be their weird quiet bonding thing. and now virion's the one who sits near ashe on the couch and starts up animal crossing & ashe watches him play. (it takes a while for him to get his fine motor control back. he's shaky.)

>givingthis one its own bullet point because it's important post-muse ashe has a really fucking big mental block w/ using his power. he's terrified to he refuses to he Will Not. he doesn't want to hurt anyone again. virion keeps stealing his power & using it for the same shit he always uses (mundane daily little tasks) in a very pointed look. see? it's not inherently evil. it's okay. i'm not feeling threatened by what u can do right now. see? way.

[changbinsboobs]

im the anon from before: told ya in my chan observations "knowing chan and his tendencies for a victim-complex, pick me, delulu and stuff" bound to cause some issues in his personal relationships but also this is why lee know is my fave out of the two bro would not give two hoots compared to chan who seems always on edge, kinda not trouble maker but doesnt mind stirring the pot to make a mountain out of a molehill.

although I do blame their coddeling from the companies for their inability to have stable relationships because they cant seemingly get out of their own delulu bubble (mainly chan).

u know what im also glad for these readings for? bc it makes me less delulu about certain idols lmao, its weird because some idols i thought would have dreadful personalities or types do not and its the ones that i have suspicions of and chan was one of them mainly due to his overly unhealthy attachments to stay but now i still find him interesting i just dont know if i would date him? yaknow? i think sometimes an idol having very very specific ideals can limit their overal perspective in dating bc theyre not really seeing someone for their personality or their natural charms or anything else its literally all about other attributes that they maybe look too much into and not giving some others enough chance becaude if u only look on the outside u never going to see ppl in different way, its very concieted. like what if chan met someone who fitted the appearsnce he wanted but they also had toxic behaviours or would just use him? he would still prolly date that person. im sure the girl he was with was lovely but no one wants to babysit a grown man. period. he actually gives manchild vibes no fr

honestly if anything i dont want him to be defamed cause she may or may not use it against him even if she sign nda but if hes that toxic it may very well backfire even further. i think he would be better more as friend material than romantic but he said he wanted family as well in snother reading. bro got a lot of growth to do before any of that

i hope other stay who maybe too deluded to see thru his behaviour i hope they somehow learn abt it thru readings cause itd suck to put so much attention and for it to all be unhealthy and shit

So first things first - my personal opinion is that nowadays there's just s HUGE gap between men and women in terms of being a a well rounded, capable, mature human being. Sadly. And so i i wouldn't necessarily put the blame on the companies but rather just on the guy himself - at the end of the day he chose that path and no matter what ur environment is you can still learn and choose to be well rounded human being - like thats on u bro🥲and i also do see him as a man child, sry not sry. Ive noticed that for a very long while actually and i think he knows that on some level too and thats part of the reason why he pushes that "taking care of y'all" image on himself so mich to try and make up for what he on the inside knows that he lacks.

And i think too he would date someone for SURE that he finds attractive but knows they're toxic cuz lets be honest - lots of people do😂 some people just crave toxicity and some people are toxic themselves and like attracts like.

Also i don't think the situation is that bad for him to be defamed - as i said i think the whole thing was much bigger in his perception than it probably was for the girl. I don't think he was toxic to the extent where he would be hurting anyone other than himself. In fact i think his toxic is rather embarrassing than hurtful. Its the type where you just sit there in shock and wonder how someone like him, with a certain image, status, money, power even, life experience etc - can act and be so immature and cringey. I think he could also be someone that would be kinda gaslighting but not out of malice but rather because he's just too sensitive and cant regulate his emotions so well hence why he can't really grasp the situation in a right way. But thats as far as it gets.

As negative as readings like that might sound im actually happy to read on energy like that because as you sed it helps delude people a bit and also just plain shows you a persons bad side (which we all have) and makes them much more human. And the best part - i would much rather stan an idol thats a manchild and is just a bit cringey, than stanning an abuser and not knowing it. That way you at least know his red flacks aren't THAT type of RED iykwim...👀

[skatingbi]

When I say sanji falls hard i mean he falls HARD homies!!

My fighter pilot au is also a modern au, so during the 2 years sanji and zoro are apart they constantly talk on the phone. Zoro hates texting so sanji will go out of his way to call zoro when they both have a break.

Their conversations last hours. Theyre not always talking but sanji is content with the comfortable silence that also makes up their calls as well. He just likes being with zoro in any way he can be until theyre able to meet again.

When its not silence zoro is talking about his family mihawk and perona, or the lessons he's taking (which zoro refuses to tell sanji what they are), or the unclassified information on the assignments he's been doing. Sanji talks about his mandatory leave where he goes back home and helps zeff with the baratie. He complains about his old man while also talking about how much he missed cooking. They talk about things other than work for probably the first time since that night sanji woke up with a panic attack a few years ago.

During these two years, sanji learns so much about zoro and he feels loved at the same time in zoro's own unusual way. In return, zoro learns more about sanji and basks in getting to be with sanji even if theyre on opposite sides of the world.

Unfortunately, their comrades are suffering by watching them be hopelessly in love to the point where it feels like experiencing second hand embaressment. Sanji SUCKS at flirting and zoro wouldnt even know someone was flirting with him even if it hit him square in the face with a 50 pound brick.

Nami and Usopp are betting on who confesses first. Luffy couldnt care less about the betting but still likes to be a supportive friend and participates anyways. Robin and Franky dont bet money but talk about it as well. Regardless, the majority vote that Sanji will confess first, even if it'll probably be the worst confession anyone's ever heard in their life.

Like you think these two idiots know anything about romance? Absolutely Not. They're in their early 20's and spent most of their life growing up too fast and having to survive more than live.

So when during those two years, the second year is maybe one assignment and mostly being sitting ducks at their respective bases they stay at, sanji and zoro talk more and more about their other dreams. They start to learn how to live, slowly but surely through each other, despite being oceans apart.

Flirting between them is useless, but opening up and baring their souls to each other isn't. When you put two guarded men together with walls up, it can either end in tragedy like betrayal or in them tearing down each others walls.

When Sanji bears his soul to Zoro, he understands for the second time how much he cant live without him. How much he truely wishes he could at least look at zoro face to face and trace all the scars on his skin with reverence and adoration.

Sanji's heart aches more and more as the two years pass by. The next time they call, though, his heart nearly stops when he hears zoro's voice still raspy from waking up so late in the morning for the Nth time that week to hear him say in fucking french by the way, dear god sanji isnt gonna be able to survive this any longer now.

"Good morning, Sanji"

[safety-writes-noms]

I SAW DRAGON AND STARTEDNABRAGRHAHB

holding out my idea of wolfwalkers type shit but with dragons. im jsutbtrghgrhgbrjrghrgjngrughibkjfggfhbjgrfihdkjh SMASHING MY HANDS ON MY DESK. PLEASE.

just imagining big angry dragon miguel with gold accents trying his damn hardest not to snap as hes got a bunch of smaller dragons clambering on him and excitedly talking while waiting to be told what to do. being dragons and all they go around and make sure theres peace between kingdoms and stuff ....

sobbing into my hands. i need to see more dragon content im GGGGHR AAHHHHHH

YES OMG PMG I LOVE DRAGON AU’S (so sorry this is kinda late 🙏 school seriously beat me up this week. Also YOUR ART IS SO SO SO COOL!)

(Also also I’m so sorry but I’m not familiar with the wolf walkers series and never got the chance to watch it :(( but I absolutely love the animation style and premise from the ads I’ve seen)

THIS IS NOT NSFW AT ALL!!! KINK BLOGS AND NSFW BLOGS DNI

I can just imagine miguel grumpily walking around with all of the spider kids either nestled on his back or chattering somewhere in the cave, waiting to get assigned their missions. I am in LOVE with the idea of Miguel sending them out to keep the peace between humans since sometimes humans can be very… not wise. Idk actually, maybe the some of the spider kids are humans and that’s how they meet Miguel or peter and Jess (bc I’d love to see them as dragons theyre so cool)

imagine a human Hobie just confidently walking around a dragon’s cave/network society and just casually arguing with a giant dragon Miguel. I’m feel like he’d get in the dumbest arguments with him just for the giggles. I can see him also baby sitting a hatchling mayday, keeping her fully entertained while Peter goes off to finish missions too dangerous to bring her along. Their little interactions in atsv were adorable especially the little salute he gave her.

or the fight between miles and Miguel ☹️ even tho I love him (Miguel) and understand why he did that and his motives, I’ll always feel so bad for miles. I feel like it would even be worse because instead of having a 6’9 roughly judged 310 pounds of muscle man chasing after you and pinning you down, there’s a ten ton dragon hellbent on having your dad die for the sake of the canon, claws, wings, VENOM/FIREBREATHING. It’s pretty much game over at that point. Ofc miles is a resourceful amazing wonderful intelligent human so I think he’d be able to reason with him. Besides, even then I kinda doubt Miguel would want to kill a kid, even if they’re a human. Nurturing instincts don’t go away after ur daughter dies 😋! Actually Miguel might even nom miles in an effort to keep him from messing up the canon :( can you imagine being so so terrified of this huge creature and getting nommed and you don’t know you’re safe and you’re panicking and —

The hurt and comfort is strong here :o. And the guilt. So much guilt. Once they work out their issues (there are so so so many poor dudes) I’m sure they’ll be besties. But that’s for human miles au

dragon miles would definitely get the short end of the stick. Even if he’s a hatchling (kind of, he’s in that odd stage between adult and adolescent but on the younger side) he’s still a whole lot more durable than if he’s a human. Which means that Miguel won’t be nearly as cautious handling him physically. Ouch. Miguel genuinely wants to protect miles in the movie but does it in the worst way possible. That would probably transfer over to this universe too.

But still because I absolutely LIVE for found family, I want to imagine they work through their problems in a long and very very non linear path that has setbacks and leaps forward and minor changes and everything because I love all of these characters sm and without depth they don’t feel like people. Plus imagining sleepy spider kids/dragons stumbling into Miguel’s section of the cave system/lair and deciding to take a quick nap there because it feels safe and waking up with Miguel curled loosely around them, wing slightly shielding them from the chilly drafts and hsjskskdjskj they have my heart. (Miguel will deny it later.)

or peter b taking the human kids out flying to let them feel at least a little what it’s like to taste the sky while Miguel lurks in the background anxiously, crimson eyes tense just in case peter accidentally drops one of them. Not that he would, he may be goofy but he’s most definitely not stupid.

I can imagine Miguel trying his hardest to stop some of the kids from doing things that he thinks is wayyy too dangerous for them and just giving up and tucking them away in his brooding pouch. If they won’t listen to his very very valid concerns then he’ll just have to make sure they don’t go anywhere >:(. Plus it’s warm and safe and even though Miguel will never admit it, he feels calmer if they’re there, protected completely bc he’ll never let anything hurt them. At least not while they’re nestled in one of the literal safest places in the world. I can’t imagine anyone would have an easy time getting to them when there’s a very protective and vengeful dragon guarding his precious brood.

and I haven’t even really gotten into the other characters either :( especially exploring the relationship between Jess and Gwen or Hobie and miles/gwen and pav but I feel like I’m writing too much so I’ll end it here. If you or anyone else wants to continue this thread/au PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME AN ASK! I LOVE THIS AU SM 😭😭

[writingsofwesteros]

ok idk if this is just self induldgent or not but

a strong girl, born between jace and luke. always been quiet, a bit beyond her years in her diplomatic decision making and problem solving. she has the repuation of being the most level headed child to have blessed the targaryen family line. the type that, if lets say aegon were to try and be mean to her s children, she would be very quiet, fair, make no fuss, and maybe have a little cry in her room if it really hurt - no need to even respond back or cause a fuss, i can just see this sensitive, well-read little child being like “its okay mother, aegon just enjoys saying mean things to everyone” type vibe. she spends most of her time just reading in the library, can also see her favouring spending time with alicent cus, despite her young age, she is emoitonlly intelligent and can see something isnt quite sitting right with alicent. will overindulge her in a bit of love, grandma ali this, grandma Ali that - "will you please braid my hair grandma Ali? i wish to braid yours too, its beautiful, i wish i had your hair"

shes not very into physical touch of words of love, not her main course of hsowing care at all. but she will gladly let her mother cradle her sometimes when she feels her mother needs it.

OKAY ONTO THE MAIN THING NOW

when theyre all still children, i can see aegon being frustrated with her because of her personalitiy, problem talks about her in the same vein as he talks about Helena. but hes also desperate to get her care too, wants to invoke any kind of emotion out of her, as long as its directed at him, he loves it - hes always found it easier to get a reaction through hate or negativity than love or care, hence why hes always a bit more cruel and poking towards her.

Aemond - im not entirely sure. could see him maybe joining in with the boys if they begin teasing her, happy to not be the epicenter of bullying, and he also fits in and feels brothership - the only time he gets to feel that because otherwise, they bully him instead.

jace and Luke are just regular sibling relationships, half the time they tease each other, the other half theyre close etcetc.

aged up, to teens/late teens now. she`s still the same - soft, wise, level headed, a touch shyer now. can see the blacks return being a bit more joyous for alicent because her sweet little grand baby is back now :) she cant wait to see what thats going to be like :) probably wants to betroth her to Aegon/aemond so she can keep her in her vicinity, she really built bonds of love and trust as a child with her.

aegon definitely makes the quips he did as a child, but now theyre a bit more lecherous, flirty, suggestive. think the dinner scene and his commetn to baela, he definately mentions that if they were betrothed, he would waste a day, and she could find herself extremely.. satisfied in her marriage to him.

aemonds a starer. he stares. shes in the library? hes staring. shes in the garden or godwoods? hes staring. this boy is a bit of a silent puppy just hoping to be in the same area as her

can see alot of taunting and teasing over her not being married/fiance to anyone yet. like how its always mentioned that jace and luke are strong, theres many many things said about her being pure, untouched, a little wife. aemond wants to trace every little freckle on her exposed upper back and collarbone when he catches them.

could be cool if jace has been trying to get her to fancy him since she hit puberty, so the three of the boys have no choice but be in the same boat - trying to figure out the key to unlocking her heart, making her desire them, sexually and romantically. What does she find attractive and how can i become that??

(also very self indulgent, but i can see them getting jealous and a bit volitile if, lets say cregan stark <3333, ever ends up catching her eye somehow. like theyre trying so hard to pick out the formula of a man youd want, spying on all the books you read, trying to see if theyre romance and what kinda guy stars in them.. just for cregan stark to rock up and, he might not even mean to, but he gets your cheeks heating up a bit. gods theyd be so pissed) cregan stark is sihtric from last kingdom in my head<3)

Damn, I love all of this so much. Such beautiful thoughts.

I love how Aemond is a starer - that had me chuckling a little too much cause it's so true.

Sweet Alicent really deserves better and maybe this is a bridge for families to begin healing. (Daemon would always be a worry tho).

Don't get me started on Cregan Stark...I can't wait to see what season 2 brings for him. I love how he doesn't mean it but she's blushing and probably following him around a little bit

[molanobessivenerd]

my gender

This is gonna be a long rant abt my gender so you do have to read it. I just need to say it.

Ok so ive been question my gender/sexuality for like 3-4 years now and i this was kinda it

Oh i'm a bi girl -> im pan girl -> lesbian -> pan she/they still a girl but queerer

Then like i was more worried about trying to figure out my sexuality right cause like i wanted to be kissed before my 16th (that didn't happen) 

Then like maybe mid 2022 i started thinking about gender and i knew 2 trans people but i was kinda like no that can't be me flashforward to march 2023 i got in to will wood and i was like ‘no way i'm in anyway trans but if i could be him i would’ and i like said to myself that i just thought he was attractive?? Then the same thing happened with the character jesse st james from glee which was even weird because there was no way i would want to date him, so thats when she/they pronouns came in i put it in my bio. Then kids from my class found out and made fun of it so i changed em back to she/her. 

Then since like september last year it feels like minimum weekly i’d either not be able to stop thinking abt gender or take way too many ‘what's my gender quizzes’ 

And like i feel its alway been in the day of my head, but its becoming more prevalent since then ive been like could i be non binary, genderfluid pintrest boards. At the beginning of the year i cut my hair again, which felt so good,.

So now somedays im having thoughts like ‘oh my fucking god why cant i drink something and be a guy’ ‘please for fucks sake’ though im nor sure id like to be a man im not 100% sure im a girl (im moving further from that). But like if there was like a magical thing i could drink do idk that would turn every inch into like robert smith between 1983-2004 id do it so quickly omg. 

And like it kinda hurts that i'm not idk (and ive never felt this for any girl celebrities)

And i kinda think they are also there those thoughts but some days theyre less i thinks thats just cus im distracting myself though i dont know i could be fluid. 

But i dont want to be any guy like the men in my family most of them are big i cant think of a better word then buffheads more so my dad but i could just not want to be like them i dont have a good relationship 

I dont think i HATE being a girl- i don't love it i like some parts but i dont think its things exclusive to girls say cause gender norms n stuff. 

I dont know if i have dysphoria because that fluctuates but im vision impaired so if i dont try and look at my body i forget some of it exists i really dont like my boobs or how clothes sit on my body think i like okay with having a cups (that i could easly hide if i wanted to  i dont but that cause also be cause by the pain they cause me.

My waist i like but only because that's the part of my body thats skinnest like my body was less shapely but that skinny id be elated.

But especially o the days i think abt it more but also all the time i do wish for more masc features eg adams apple more angular face bigger hands etc etc.Voices of weird one because my voice is in mezzo soprano range my speaking voice however in chest voice is kinda low  but I was self-conscious about it growing up because it made me stand out in different even though really it wasn't I think I just thought people were staring at me for no reason.  I think I only like my voice when I'm singing when I'm acting because I can imagine myself playing characters who aren't me but idk but if it was lower like high baritone or tenor id be like so fucking happy.

And like i Kind of want to try dressing differently but I can't because a I don't want my family to know certain pieces of clothing would be mens Not that they have a problem with it I'm assuming they could though but they probably just want to talk about it and I would not but also like  I remember one time I was at the shop called Factorie  and I wanted to get the Black Parade t-shirt but it was a mens shirt  and my god the amount of anxiety I had and the amount of people that I felt were staring at me I almost had a panic attack. 

And like I feel like if I ever did do anything about gender irl  I'd run away from everyone I know and cut of connections again not because I feel like they'd be bad about it but just I've built this thing around myself so long and I don't think I could even my queer friends like i dont know  my parents I'd feel like I'd be letting them down, and like 

But also so much for my childhood makes sense

Like when I was about 8 I got eczema for the first time and my first thought was ‘oh im turning into a boy… shit what am I gonna tell my parents’  which I don't even know why my brain made that jump but i hated my boobs sometimes more then others Once they got past a certain size,  when I had a pixie cut and a couple people in the street would mistake me for a boy felt exposed ‘like shh don't tell’ 

But I was also such a girly todder/ child  from like ages four Tube8 I would pride myself on being the girlest girl never wearing pants  because I kind of think it was trying to win that competition but I don't know         

I don't think anybody read this whole thing but if you did help me out or don't I don't care but I just needed to vent this 

m

[transskywardsword]

omg for the ask game 2, 4, and 14 for both the links and the zeldas if you’re up for it??

I have had to answer this ask three times bc my phone keeps crashing and I have a cat on my chest so I can’t get my laptop, BUT I am always estatic to talk abt heroes gate and zeldas universe so let’s go!!!

2) Who was the hardest character to design?

Twilight, sky, and waker def. I wanted twilight to look very distinct from other aus, which tend to stick to common motifs like face tattoo, wolf pelt, etc, and that proved to be very, very hard and I’ve actually redesigned him a lot recently and need to post those redesigns haha. Sky was hard for similar reasons, but also bc I have a hard time with fat characters. I myself am fat, but I have a hard time making characters that look like me; I get quite embarrassed and end up not making them look how I want. Sky has always been fat since day one of designing, but making him fat on paper is much harder for me. Waker’s prosthetic gives me trouble— I wanted it to look similar to an 1800’s soldier's prosthetic, but that’s easier said than done when they were so awful for the person using htem. I’ve had to do a lot of research which has been fun, but also lots of work and redesigning over and over.

As for the zeldas, it was definitially my two armored girls, phantom and aella. phantom bc the phantom armor is ugly as fuck and very bulky and mature, something phantom is not, and aella bc I wanted to keep her elegance but had to sacrifice it for actual armor, since she is ya know. In the middle of a war.

4) Is there a character you want to include but didn't for whatever reason

I would have LOVED to include the first ever hero from the skyward sword manga. He’s one of my favorite characters to sandbox and I think he would have added a lot, but I’m already running with a shit load of characters so he got cut from the roster :(

14) Do you have any headcanons about the Rito/Zora/Goron/Hylian/ect

YOU BET I DO!! World building is my bestest of friends, and i have too many to do in one sitting (if you'd like me to go more in-depth i would loveeeee to) but i do have a huge post on the interactions between the gerudo and sheikah here. i dont agree with all of it anymore, as my ideas on ganondorf have shifted, buuuut it's still a good read :)

just gonna hit some bullet points of headcanons bc if i try and make it a cohesive paragraph we'll be here for everrrr

each race has very different ideas of gender and sex; in particular, the gerudo's terms voe/vai dont actually mean man/woman, that's just the meaning hylians put on them. it actually refers to a role in society; there is no real concept of hylian 'man' or 'woman'. the kokiri are completely agender (one of the ways oot link realizes they/she aren't kokiri is bc they/she realizes theyre/she's transfem. poor kiddo), and the gorons have little in the way of sexual dimorphism and are all genderless. the zora are all asexual, though they range in romantic orientation; they find the hylian concept of sex to be strange.

there are many kinds of zora; ocean (including subgroups like deep sea, costal, artic) zora, river zora, and lake/marsh zora. they do not have a history of getting along, but the calamity forced them together and they've become a multicultural diverse and mostly peaceful society

sheikah language is heavily gendered, but the sheikah's concept of gender is outside the hylian binary. the sheikah are deeply, deeply religious and historically served as priests and monks as well as soldiers for the hyrulian crown.

mentioned in the post i linked but: impa is a name passed down to the leader of the sheikah, and as subservient to the hylian crown (gross), it is expected that each impa will serve the queen and her children specifically as a bodyguard since the first impa (skyswd) served the first zelda.

because the sheikah were expected to carry out the hylian family's violence for so long, which primarily targeted the gerudo, there are tense relationships between the two groups

sheikah cover their faces 24/7 out of remembrance of the sheikah who worked alongside hylia, who had to hide their faces to avoid being burned by her holiness. the sheikah directly and deeply revere hylia as well as local gods and spirits.

hylian ear shape has changed over the centuries. skyswd hylians had short but pointed ears, but the later early generations of hylians had large, very long, furry ears from intermingling with zonai, and as time passed and the zonai disappeared, the ears lost their fur, became medium-sized, but stayed pointed

i have a LOT more but i dont wanna go on forever so ill stop here lol.

[lunanheartache]

this is babygar. young jgar & lamb.. theyve been adventuring for a little bit, known each other a smidge. theyre on watch on a job together and just hangin out. 1.9ish k

nature is loud. nightfall just means new music. sheltered in a small copse just off the road, j'gar sits with his back against a wagon wheel and admires the sound. crickets and cicadas and chatterbugs, each chirping their own recognizable chorus. it sounds like back home, like walking back from town with his family after one of any dozen of festivals with his heart warmer than summer, like staying up late nearly half out the window to read by moonlight. insects themselves don't live for long but the instinct does; there's that almost-butterfly feeling in his bones, a weird sort of comfort that these are the same sounds his momma heard growing up in the valley, same sounds her momma and every other iteration before him heard. he's looking at the same full moon and listening to the same bugsong as back in lunan, and that.

well, it's bittersweet tonight, but bittersweet don't mean not good. it's good. like a pink clay balm, it settles some itch that he knows has been growing under the skin for a while. if he closes his eyes, he can pretend he's out in the field with ruva while he talks about constellations and star stories.

but he's on a job, and ruva is not here. the stray fireflies that wander in, lost from the honeysuckle vines and windy fields, are familiar but new to him. the starlight through cracks in the canopy is unnameable.

j'gar takes a deep breath.

he scans the woods in front of him again. with the full moon drenching everything in thin silver, it isn't hard to see. finer details blur and jumble, but the core is still unmistakeable. the horses are quiet standing side by side, kept in a small makeshift corral. that's a good sign. no smell or sense to frighten them means nothing to worry about. nothing moves beyond leaves in the soft breeze, almost like blessing between the sticky heat of summer. the insect chatter drones unchanged. nothing to disturb it, nothing to break it to silence like a warning.

j'gar twists at the waist, one hip pressed to the dirt, and peeks under the cart. there's a thin shape leaning against it. "lamb, you see anythin'?" he whispers loudly.

"nothing but trees," lamb returns.

"nothin' over here neither. you know how much time we got left 'fore we can wake up what's-his-name?"

lamb's silhouette shifts a fraction. "a few hours," they say.

"damn."

j'gar turns back to his side with a half-hearted sigh. watch is boring. it's easy money at least, some rich guy - a wannabe politician what with his accent but lack of official guards - asking for hired help to make sure he travels safely through the boondocks. hardly feels like honest work, but the money from his last job is down to a few copper and that ain't enough for more than a day or two's room and board at any inn. he don't have to do nothing but stay up late and scan the horizon like a starving hawk, and by the time they reach the next town, his pockets will be plenty replenished. free travel, even.

still, there's something kinda funny. sitting crosslegged, j'gar props an elbow in the meat of his thigh and his cheek on his hand. this is the third job he's handled with lamb. fifth time they've run into each other. half of those, something went wrong. that job in munelle, playing hired hands to protect a shipment of wine until lamb asked a few pointed questions and the courrier flew off the handle (j'gar still isn't sure on the details there, too busy dodging to pay attention); vanerbrook was crooked from the start too, apparently, trying to find a missing mother and child when she had rushed out by the skin of her teeth and this man just weren't going to let her go easy; with ravet, it wasn't even the job but the inn, owners using a combination of magic and sleight of hand to rob folks blind in their sleep.

like lamb spells trouble. a bad omen, but a pretty one. if he were superstitious, he might be worried.

at least they're a familiar face. he'll take that. she says hi when she notices him, stops by his table if they're at the same bar. not quite a friend but not a stranger neither. another liminal space, personhood abandoned in the rush.

insectsong drones on as he stares blankly at a patch of dirt. he hums a vague tune to himself in response. the air smells warm and wet with summer, lifted up by leaflitter, fresh growth, and honeysuckle. too hot for a fire, it stays dark beyond fireflies and the full moon, and that's fine. it's enough to see by. he thinks about taking his shirt off to sleep, but he might just have to sweat.

"hey," comes a soft voice from behind him. something touches his hip.

j'gar startles without a sound, snaps away from the cart and pivots to face it in one smooth motion. his hand claps primed to the pommel of his axe, and.

it's lamb.

lamb, lying on his stomach in the shadowed dirt under the cart, looks at him with wide eyes. her hand stays in the air where it was, where it tapped him for attention. her eyes reflect starlight, color washed away to shiny silver.

the adrenaline collapses with him; j'gar drops the held position for a comfortable slump. "shit-hell, lamb, you scared the fuck outta me," he hisses quietly.

"sorry," lamb says, ears drooped sheepishly. "i didn't mean to. i thought we had talked so. um. sorry."

"s'fine, i just needa minute for my heart to settle. woof."

"want a cookie?" offers lamb hopefully.

"what, you got cookies under there? nevermind, don't needa ask me twice, i'm comin' in."

lamb shuffles back at an angle to make room, disappearing into the dark under the wagon. j'gar crawls forward and flattens to his stomach, squinting to see better; propped up on their elbows, lamb lies halfway under, a small cloth between their arms. it smells buttery, a little floral. distinct enough that it cuts through the wood, sweat, and dirt. he's not hungry but his stomach flips.

he pulls himself to mirror lamb. like this, they can both see out the other side, can still maintain some semblance of a watch.

not that j'gar pays much attention. nothing is going to happen. travel has been uneventful and bland thus far. his attention latches onto lamb eagerly. they're hard to see in the dark but j'gar knows them well enough he can fill in the blanks: messy brown hair, soft brown eyes cracked with amber, and the faintest hint of freckles. their eyes catch with the moon, harder to read but friendly nonetheless. the laced front of his shirt is casually, comfortably halfway undone.

he's not hard to look at. much more interesting than the trees.

j'gar smiles distractedly, half crooked. it widens when lamb returns it. "so what kinda cookies ya got?" he asks.

"lavender thyme shortbreads," lamb says.

"don't think i ever had one'a those," j'gar says, reaching out to take one. "not a chocolate chip fan? i do like a good oatmeal cookie. that's probably my favorite, really. back in lunan, everybody goes to the shed barn an' they make a real good fried sage blossom but i don' think they done nothin' with herb cookies like that. oh, they do gotta herb bread though, but tha's just okay."

"the chocolate at spinner's gorge wasn't exactly high quality. i usually like chocolate."

"just not spinner's chocolate," says j'gar. he cracks the cookie in half, florals light on his tongue. "oh, shit, this ain't bad. you got this in spinner? i guess i'on't really got money to be spendin' on pastries, really, so maybe all'a spinner's got good shit."

"no, i had plenty of bad pastries there," lamb says, nudging the cloth and its contents closer to him, "but these were decent. are you looking for jobs in kaszka?"

"i mean, i look for jobs everywhere. just seemed like there weren't much left in uwlbern. i figured might be time to try a big city, y'know? you know. you from up that way, or somethin'. not from any'a these backwoods villages."

lamb almost looks embarrassed, ducking their head and mumbling grass between their fingers. "you wouldn't be wrong. kaszka can be a lot, though. you know cities have pickpockets," he says.

"i got a good eye on me," j'gar says around a mouthful of cookie.

"how many scrapes have i pulled you out of?"

"that ain't fair," he complains, goodnatured. "none'a those jobs we been on were out there wavin' red flags. they was just borin' scutwork, an' iunno how you seen through what you seen through, lamby. better eye than me, for sure."

"you're too willing to take people at their word," lamb says, not unkindly. there's something almost wistful about it, curling wry at the edges. "people aren't as good as you want them to be."

"i mean, sure, but most folk only got their word an' if i don' take 'em for it, where's that leave me?"

"safer," says lamb, "usually."

j'gar grins and takes another cookie. "i been takin' you for your word, should i not be?" he teases.

"you've taken more than my word."

"lamby," j'gar says, playfully scandalized. his face warms, but it's dark and stupidly hot anyway. he swats at her shoulder. "you taken more than my word way more than me. gettin' cocky on me jus' 'cause i rolled over once?"

ducking their head, lamb laughs, quiet. there's a sleepy sort of fondness plain on their face like this, half-obscured in shadow. like between the dark and the hour, their guard's down and they're something more like a friend than a friendly stranger. a person, if only briefly.

j'gar's heart aches. he thinks about home. thinks about lunan, and everyone he left behind, and all the people he hasn't seen in a handful of years. thinks about all the people he has, and how he don't mean nothing to them beyond a tool, a solution, a quick fix to some problem they can't handle. no connection, no care. he's as nameless and faceless as anyone, meaningless and useful in the same breath, and lamb - and everyone - is in the same stupid boat.

it's funny in a sad sort of way. lying on his stomach under some rich fuck's carriage eating cookies and joking about one night stands with someone he barely knows, and that's what means something.

ah, well. he's lonely.

"shut up. which way you headed after we get to kaszka, tough guy?" j'gar says, poking lamb's arm.

lamb bats his hand away, sticking out her tongue. "haven't decided yet. i was just in kaszka recently. not much for me there," she says.

"whatcha goin' back for then?"

"there's a good- bread i miss," he says. his eyes flicker, hesitant. "nothing fancy. it's just- sweet."

j'gar gasps exaggeratedly. "you like somethin' not fancy? hon, you down here in the dirt eatin' lavender, what's so special about this bread an' where can i try it?"

lamb lets out a little self-conscious laugh, bowing their head to his shoulder. "how about you come with me when we get there?"

"it's a date, lamby."

[chl3borzoi]

SOOOOO i blocked my sister

Youre entitled to not like family after theyve done shit things.

Yes, my sister was a great resource when i was i my preteens letting me live with her during the summer, and for getting on my brothers for their behavior when i was in my early early teens but by that point it was kinda far too late

The thing that did it was on Thanksgiving last year she came with a woman weve never met before thats shes only known for 4 months saying theyre getting married in 2 weeks and moving to texas immediately after.

Our brother and his partner brought them out to lunch and tried to say hey we think youre going kinda fast you should take more time to get to know each other etc. They flat out told him theyre not invited to the wedding. Then when she gets home after that, she comes downstairs to find me and tells me theyre getting married, and she leans in and whispers "you're inviiiiteeeed~"

Shes in her early 30's

The thing is our MOM couldnt even attend because it was such short notice. And the marriage place couldnt get the shitty zoom stream to work. Our mom had to watch a recording of the service.

I looked out the deck window and saw her lying on her back on the porch watching the video and I knew her heart was broken.

Like. Christ im gonna put it all out there

I could tell stories of how my sister used to make me cry as a child, too. And where our parents failed to parent and the eldest should have taken the place of responsibility and etc she didnt give a fuck and YES a child should never have to act a parent role thats shitty but she was 15+ yrs old she shoulda fucking known better. (I have literally my entire family to blame for almost all of my issues, But still. During my crucial years i really do feel she did not care, and it didn't help that between me and her we have 3 THREE brothers who (one of which legitimately hated me ) too)) I DIGRESS

She let our childhood home turn into a jungle because she was too busy sitting in sweatpants smoking pot and drinking starbucks and begging our mom for more money to be put on her account,

(its all torn down, now too.)

We havent spoken very much,

Mostly just snapchats here and there

And a few days ago she sent me a chat on here saying shes revamping her account and wants to be active on here, so i blocked her.

Not only because i want tumblr to be an escape from personal real life shit but because i don't really wanna communicate or be reminded of her selfish dumb behavior.

Shes extremely hard to communicate with in person, too. Literally! I feel like im crazy trying to explain it. Shes so slow... it feels like trying to have a convo with her sometimes it feels like shes unintentionally gaslighting you. I know that sounds dumb but im fuckin serious.

She was so helpless when we helped her move, too. Pacing back and forth and fretting over all her shit (we're a packrat family yeah but holy fuck shes gonna end up being a fuckin hoarder) and me and our mom were just lifting stuff and carrying it out like :/

Sheesh

I don't hate her or wish her or her wife any ill will, its just. Fuck man. Walk in, break our moms heart (as if it isnt already broken after all the shit weve been thru as a family...) and act like everythings fine and perfect.

Also I literally witnessed my sister do/say this to her wife

"Hey, -blank-, come fight this pokemon go tournament for me."

Like

?!?!?!??!?

She was like "okay :D" but still thats so fucking bizarre