#-> me when april 30th happen

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 11 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: cursing, alcohol, minor character ghosting everyone, cheating?, explicit content: a spicy videocall, mutual masturbation?, fingering/jerking off, sex toy (vibrator)

☆word count: 8.4k

☆a/n: this one hurts, but I hope you'll still love it :') thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here!

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Tuesday, April 30th 

You’ve been lost in thought for hours - every hour feels like a whole day, and you can’t focus on what Ria is saying right now. She went off while speaking about Seokjin, but all you’re able to do is look out the vitrine of the café where you’re sitting along with Nabi. It’s raining - you think it’s fitting now that Jungkook is gone.

He’s texted you throughout the day, more than he usually does. It’s been reassuring, yet you feel like there is finality in the world today, in the way raindrops chase each other on the glass of the vitrine like you used to chase cars around Jungkook’s head. You haven’t replied to his last text message, haven’t even opened it yet.

You don’t dare to when you’re sitting with your friends.

“Are you even listening?” Ria’s annoyed voice cuts through your thoughts, and you startle, looking at her.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

She groans loudly, and then says, “What do you think about Seokjin?”

You widen your gaze, holding in a smile. “Why do you want to know?”

“He’s annoying, right?” she says.

“Is that why you’ve been spending all of your free time with him?” Nabi interjects, earning a glare from Ria.

“I have not.”

“You certainly have,” Nabi insists. “Both you and Y/n have been MIA to study sesh during the finals because you were with your boyfriends.”

Your heart drops to your stomach, your throat drying. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Nabi and Ria both throw you a no-bullshit look, but Ria loses it first, saying, “And I’m not dating Seokjin.”

“Where were you yesterday?” Nabi asks.

The prolonged silence is revealing, and you burst out laughing at the same time as Nabi.

“It doesn’t mean anything!” Ria says.

You pick up your smoothie, taking a long sip from it as Nabi says, “Obviously not. That’s why you have a hickey on your neck.”

You choke on your sip as Ria blushes, yet in pure Ria fashion, she wiggles her eyebrows. “What about it? At least I’m not fucking my brother’s best friend and lying about it even though everyone in the world literally knows.”

You put down your drink, gaze widening. “That was low.”

“Deserved though,” Ria insists, folding her arms on her chest.

There’s no animosity to the way she is speaking. Just amusement, and a teasing undertone that strikes a nerve now that he’s in Paris and the future of your relationship is so uncertain.

“For what?” you let out, looking towards Nabi for help. She pretends she isn’t listening, looking down at her empty latté mug, but you see on her face how she’s waiting for you to say something. “Tae wouldn’t let it happen.”

“Tae was gone for the semester,” Ria points out. “And you spent a lot of time with Jungkook, and he always drove you home and shit. We know, babes, I don’t know why you try to pretend it wasn’t happening.”

“You’re just trying to get the conversation away from you and Seokjin!”

It’s a weak comeback, but it’s all you can do.

“For real, even though I might be sleeping with Jin,” Ria says, introducing a nickname you’ve never heard her say before, “I’m not into him for more than that. But you and Jungkook…”

You feel like throwing your smoothie at her, but you choose peace and remain silent.

“So you are fucking Seokjin,” Nabi chimes in, throwing you a lifeline you immediately grasp on.

Ria shrugs. “So what if I am?” she asks. “It’s just sex.”

You think about Seokjin, about the forlorn look in his eyes whenever you’re out in public, and she flirts with other people. You highly doubt it’s just sex for him, but he’s too respectful to tell Ria, isn’t he?

“Is it though?” you say.

Ria nods forcefully. “At least to me it is. If it’s not the case for him then that sounds like his problem, not mine.”

You wince in time with Nabi, and she says, “That’s mean, Ri.”

She throws her hands up in defence. “What do you want me to say? I don’t like him like that.”

That’s fair enough. You can’t force a heart to love, like you’d realized last November with Hoseok. 

No matter how much you’d tried to love him, you’d never even had butterflies with him. Maybe even then you knew that true love wasn’t to be found with Hoseok, but with Jungkook instead…

“He’s great though,” Nabi says. “He’s got a solid research grant.”

“I’m not a nerd like you guys. I don’t care about his research grant”

You snort. “You so are a nerd. You like anime.”

“Anime isn’t for nerds,” she insists. Which, you totally agree with the statement. You’ve watched a couple of them with Jungkook, and you found each and every one of them fun to watch.

But Ria doesn’t need to know that.

“Yeah yeah,” you say. “Keep telling that to yourself.”

She glares at you, but Nabi intervenes with, “Why wouldn’t you care about the grant? It’s really good for him.”

Ria shrugs, falling serious. “Because I don’t care about him like that. He’s just a good fuck.”

Ria’s always been like this. Ever since you’ve met her, she’s always been the type to sleep around, and you’ve always encouraged her for it, as it was helping her get over the fact that she was cheated on. Yet right now you feel bad for Seokjin - maybe because you know he’s into her, and you wish for her the happiness you’ve been experiencing with Jungkook.

Happiness that is now on hold, possibly never to resume.

“Fair enough,” you say, and you grab your smoothie to finish it, taking two long sips.

“What about you and Jungkook?” Ria then asks, and she smirks victoriously.

You put the empty smoothie glass away, sighing deeply. “Honestly right now there’s nothing to tell.”

“Did you fuck him?”

You purse your lips, shrugging. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because it’s so obvious!” Ria says. “Your hair sometimes smells like cologne, and you can’t tell me it’s someone other than him. You would have told us if you were seeing someone else.”

“Not that I want to stir shit but…” Nabi trails off. “She’s got a point.”

“Leave me alone,” you grumble, though you don’t see the point in hiding it anymore.

It’s not like they might say something in front of Jungkook’s friends, who would then tell Taehyung. You’re planning to tell Taehyung the second he lands and crosses the threshold of your shared apartment after all.

“You’re blushing,” Ria teases.

“Because you’re putting me on the spot!” you say, shaking your head. “Leave me alone.”

“Oh no.” Ria’s face falls, and her mouth hangs open for a few seconds as her eyes go round. “Oh no, babes.”

“What?” you let out, sounding grumpier than you feel.

No, you just feel apprehensive as her whole demeanour changes.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

It falls like a hydrogen bomb, leaving nothing but dust behind. And you can’t answer. All you have to offer is a blink, and the sound of your heart shattering in the distance.

“Oh no,” Nabi cuts in. “Y/n, you know his reputation…”

“We’ve been together since Valentine’s Day,” you quickly say, only so that they stop before making you feel bad. You’ve gone down that road before, and you’ve long come back from it. “Or as together as we can be considering Tae.”

“Bitch you what?” Ria shrieks. “That’s insane. You were letting me go on and on about him while you were with him?”

“Wait, you’re with him like boyfriend-girlfriend?” Nabi asks before you can reply to Ria.

“I knew he wouldn’t get with you,” you say to Ria, and then you glance at Nabi. “And no, we’ve never really talked about it, or referred to it as boyfriend-girlfriend.”

“So, it’s a situationship then?” Ria asks.

Though the words pain you grandly, they ring true. Far too true for it to be comfortable. “I guess so. But… I know the feelings are reciprocated.”

You sound delusional, even to your own ears. Maybe because he’s on an entire other continent - out of sight, out of mind. But you saw his soft gaze whenever he looks at you. You were there when he kissed you by the door before leaving yesterday. 

I promise I’ll come back to you and make it work, he’d whispered.

And fuck, all you want to do is believe him, believe that there’s a way you truly can make it work.  

“I hope you’re right,” Nabi says, though she sounds infinitely doubtful.

You don’t blame her. They don’t truly know Jungkook - not like you do.

“Wait…” Ria repeats, though this time she continues with, “That means you were together with him when you went to New York.”

The extravagance of the luxurious condo where he’d grown up flashes before your eyes as you nod once. “Yeah.”

“Bitch!” Ria lets out. “I knew it! I can’t believe you pretended you guys were just friends then.”

Unable to stay silent anymore, you retell your relationship to your friends. You tell them everything - how it started, how it entirely changed in New York, what he’d whispered right before he’d left. You tell them everything, not mentioning the fact that Jungkook is rich, feeling like that isn’t your story to tell. 

You feel lighter after. Like finally being able to tell people has taken a weight off your shoulders. You reckon, you might start flying when Taehyung knows. When you don’t have to hide it from anyone anymore - you’ll be weightless, like a cloud in the sky up above.

It’s with that in mind that you head home for dinner, Nabi having something planned with Namjoon and Ria having to head to work. You check your phone as you walk home, safely hidden underneath your red umbrella.

[4:14 pm] JK: any chance we can facetime tonight?

It’s almost an hour later, yet Jungkook’s text makes butterflies flutter in your stomach, and you smile down at your phone as you reply with,

[5:07 pm] You: i’ll be home in 10 min, you still up?

Jungkook’s answer comes almost half an hour later when you’re trying to cook some noodles the same way that he showed you - a lot spicier than what you can handle, but spicy makes you think of him, so spicy it is.

[5:33 pm] JK: i’ll call you in two

You assume he needs to find a place to hide so that your brother doesn’t hear, and you apprehensively - in a good way obviously - wait for him to call as you gauge the amount of gochujang to put in your noodles. He ends up calling five minutes later, and you immediately answer, a bright smile on your lips.

Jungkook is smiling just as brightly when he comes into view, his eyes sparkling at the sight of you. He looks a little dazed, like maybe he’s had something to drink, but he still looks just as beautiful as he always has.

Even a phone camera cannot dim Jeon Jungkook’s beauty. 

His eyebrow piercing glints in the soft light on his side of the line, where he’s sitting outside. He toys at his lip piercings, glancing away from his phone for a few seconds before setting his gaze back on you.

“Hey peach,” he greets you.

Your heart is warm, gentle, when you reply, “Hey Kook.”

He notices you’re in the kitchen as you stir the noodles, and his gaze widens just a little as he says, “Are you cooking?” You flip the camera to show him your creation, and he nods approvingly. “You’re getting good at this,” he praises, and a light blush covers your cheeks.

“Only because I had the best teacher,” you say as you flip the camera back towards you.

He chuckles. “The best indeed.” There’s a pause as he glances around again, seemingly making sure that no one can hear, and then he asks, “What were you up to today?”

“I went to a café with Ria and Nabi,” you admit. Your cheeks burn even more, and you avert your gaze.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks, immediately noticing your unease.

“I might have told them about us,” you reveal, and you worry at your bottom lip.

You think he’ll be mad, upset, but instead he laughs, a clear sound that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “You’re adorable. I can’t wait to tell my friends either.”

“As soon as you come back,” you promise. “We’ll tell Tae the second he walks into the apartment.”

Jungkook nods vehemently. “I’m not waiting a second longer,” he agrees. “And if he’s pissed, we can just run into the sunset together.”

That makes you laugh, and Jungkook watches you, his eyes sparkling with amusement and what you want to believe is love.

“He will be pissed,” you warn him. “But we’ll figure it out.”

“We will.”

You fall silent as voices are heard on the other side of the line. They’re speaking French, so you can’t really tell what they’re saying, and you wait as Jungkook watches them walking by before focusing his eyes on you again. 

“Where are you?” you ask him.

“Just in a park outside of the Airbnb,” he replies. “Thought it might be better to call you while outside.”

“Good call.” You move the pot in which you’re cooking your noodles away from the heat on the stove, turning it off. “What did you do today?”

Jungkook tells you about his day as you pour your noodles in a bowl, and then sit at the table to eat. It’s too hot for the first few minutes, so you just listen as Jungkook tells you about his overnight flight, and about the struggle to find the Airbnb. He admits he napped for three hours straight when they finally got there, and that they went out for dinner after, coming home around the time he texted you earlier to Facetime.

The first bite of your noodles reveals that you might have made them a little too spicy, but under Jungkook’s watchful gaze, you make sure to eat everything, dousing the spice with the Yakult you’ve bought because Jungkook likes to mix it with soju.

“You know,” Jungkook says as you finish eating, your cheeks red with the spice. “I wish you were here with us. Seeing Sera and Jimin, and Ariane and Tae…” he trails off, offering you a sad smile. “I really wish you were here, peach.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest, and you offer him a small smile. “I really wish I was with you, too.”

A beat of silence passes, while you get lost in his gaze and he gets lost in yours. He furrows his brows a moment later, and he says, “Tae texted me to come back.”

“Oops,” you let out, and he chuckles softly.

“I don’t want to hang up though,” he says, and he pouts in that cute way of his.

“Keep me in your pocket then,” you challenge. “I’ll be mute as a rock.”

He cocks an eyebrow as he laughs. “I’ll turn off my volume just to be sure. I’ll try to hide in the bathroom or something.”

You approve of his plan, and a second later your screen goes dark as Jungkook does indeed hide you in his pocket. You move to your bedroom as you wait, and you hear noises coming from his side, though most of it is muffled by the fabric.

It takes almost ten minutes, but Jungkook pulls you out in a blindingly bright bathroom, the fan loud enough to hide your speaking.

“I’m back,” he says.

You chuckle. “Obviously.”

He narrows his gaze, and then scans your features. “You’re so pretty.”

The compliment takes you by surprise, and your cheeks turn red as you let out, “Oh.” You gulp, and then add, “Thank you.”

“And you might think I’m insane but, fuck, am I crazy for wanting you right now?”

Your blush deepens as you watch his gaze go from sparkly to lustful as he pulls on his piercings.

“Right now?” you repeat, feeling a little breathless all of a sudden.

He nods. “Yeah. I already miss how you feel when I’m balls deep inside of you.”

You roll your eyes, the redness lingering on your cheeks. “We had sex yesterday morning,” you remind him.

“Yeah, and?”

He’s insufferable. He’s insufferable and adorable and, if everything goes well, this man might be yours in a week.

It sets your nerves alight with reciprocated desire, and you bite at your lower lip. “Nothing,” you innocently say. “I’d definitely suck your dick right now though.”

His gaze hardens almost imperceptibly. “Peach.”

You smirk. “What?”

“Anything else you’d do?” he asks, and he shifts where he’s sitting.

“Mmh.” You pause, let the suspense linger. “Maybe I’d tie you up. You’re always trying to control everything, maybe you deserve to be put back into your place.”

“Shit.” You know your bold words had their effect on him when he shifts again, sucking on his piercings harder. He runs a hand through his hair, and then he says, “I’ll fuck you so hard when I come back, peach. I want to hear you screaming my name.”

“So loud Tae hears?” you tease.

He has the decency to look slightly embarrassed, yet you know him enough to know it probably just turns him on more. 

“Definitely,” he says. He inhales sharply, leaning back against the wall. “I’ll fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum.”

You’ve never had sex without a condom, but you remember that first night when he’d fingered you with his cum…

You’ve always been insane for him, haven’t you? 

You clench your thighs together, seeking friction, as you notice Jungkook moving to touch himself too. 

“You will?” you say, breathless.

He nods, and then he curses under his breath. “Now I’m hard for you.”

“Yeah?” you let out. “Show me.”

His eyes darken even more, and he chuckles lowly. “I don’t do nudes, peach.”

It surprises you so much that you lose your arousal for a few seconds, up until Jungkook grunts.

“Well, you’ll do it for me, mmh?” you tease, a smirk adorning your lips.

“You’d like that, huh?”

You would. A lot more than you should - you’ve never been big on nudes either. But… phone sex isn’t exactly nudes, is it?

“I would,” you say after a few seconds of debating if you should or should not do it. “I want to see you, Kook.”

The nickname undoes him. Jungkook sucks on his piercings, and then he moves, his camera blurring. You know he’s taken his pants off when he comes back on screen, his eyes swirling with lust for you.

“Why don’t you show me yourself first?” he asks.

You don’t even hesitate. You’re in bed after all, and ridding yourself of your clothes only takes about thirty seconds, as Jungkook listens to the rustle of the fabric.

You grab your phone when you’re fully naked, making sure that he can’t see anything yet.

“What do you want to see?” you ask, and you only then realize that Jungkook is shirtless, and from the motion in his bicep, he’s clearly jerking off.

You turn molten, liquid lava, like you’re the magma under the tectonic plates. 

“All of you,” he purrs. “I want to see all of you, peach.”

You oblige, propping your phone against a pillow as you lie against another pillow. Jungkook immediately moves his camera so that you can see how he’s stroking himself, and you let out a breathy sound as your hand slides between your legs, pressing lazy circles on your clit. Jungkook watches you hungrily, cursing under his breath.

“Fuck, I wish I could touch you right now,” he says, voice low and husky.

“I wish you could,” you echo.

He picks up his pace on his dick, wrist twisting when he’s close to the top, grip tight like you know he likes it. It’s sinfully beautiful, arousing, and your circles grow faster, quicker, desperate as you seek the pleasure only he can provide.

“Don’t be shy,” he says after a few seconds. “Use your vibrator.”

You don’t need to be told twice, and the second the toy is vibrating and buried inside you, you let out a low-clipped moan.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jungkook says. “With your tattoo and just… fuck.”

You just answer with a moan that sounds like his name, and he curses again.

“You make me such a mess,” he says. “A fucking mess for you, peach.”

“Yeah?” you breathlessly let out.

“Fuck yeah.”

Your pussy makes squelching sounds as you push the toy in and out of yourself, the buzz a background to the lustful actions you’re partaking in. Jungkook’s camera isn’t quite angled on his dick anymore, but you don’t even care.

Not when you’re aware he’s watching you, drinking every little sound you emit as pleasure rakes through your body. The thought is far too enticing, arousing, and your walls clench around the toy.

“Shit, I’ll come so quickly,” you admit, not even embarrassed about it.

“Do it, peach,” Jungkook says. “Fucking come for me.”

You don’t need more, the crude words pushing you over the edge. You still the motions of the toy inside of you as your walls pulse and pulse, yet you keep drawing circles - slow again - as you milk your orgasm out of you. Jungkook watches it all like he’s starved for you, and when you finally pull your toy out of yourself, he’s the one that groans, “Fuck peach, I think I’ll come too.”

You don’t even have to say anything. He immediately comes, white spurts of cum shooting from his dick. The white cum covers his hand, his tattoos, and you almost want to start again, the sight so devilish yet so beautiful to you.

“Fuck,” Jungkook says, grunting as he keeps milking his climax out of himself, his pace barely slowed down. 

Eventually, his dick stops twitching, and Jungkook stops, hand wrapped around the base. You eye the cum still dripping from his hand, rolling down the back of it.

It’s pornographic. Deadfully so, and you bite at your lower lip.

“That was hot,” you breathe.

“Yeah,” Jungkook breathes, and he puts his phone down, revealing the ceiling and the light fixture. “It really was.”

You assume he’s cleaning himself up, so you quickly do the same, heading to the bathroom. 

Jungkook comes back into view when you’re on your way back to your room, and you feel shy under his gaze. Not embarrassed, but what just happened makes your heart skip beats and your cheeks burn, in all the right ways.

“We should do this again,” Jungkook says when you’re lying in bed once more, your vibrator cleaned and put away in your night table.

You smirk mischievously. “Wouldn’t you like that?” you tease.

He laughs, and it makes you miss him so much your heart squeezes in your chest.

He’s only been gone for a day, and you’re already going insane. You’re lucky it’s just a week - in six days he’ll be back, and hopefully you’ll never have to be apart again.

“I would,” he says, and he offers you a lopsided grin that makes you want to hold onto him, forever.

You take a deep breath around the emotion as it swells up in your chest, in your soul. The smile you offer him is warm, filled with all the feelings that your heart hosts for him, and he immediately reciprocates.

“Can’t wait for you to be back,” you admit, voice small as if you’re afraid he’ll reject you.

You know he won’t - you’re creating that universe where it makes sense for you to be together after all.

“Soon, peach,” he promises. “And then I’ll annoy your ass until you don’t like me anymore.”’

As if that would be possible. 

“Good luck with that.” 

He chuckles softly, and it breaks into a yawn, reminding you that, even though he’s just on the other side of the screen, he’s in an entirely different timezone, and he’s likely still jet-lagged from his overnight flight.

“Tired?” you ask.

He nods. “I’ll go to bed as soon as we hang up,” he says. “We’re visiting the Louvres tomorrow.”

Your phone vibrates in your hand as a text comes in, but you can’t read the text at the top of your screen before it disappears. You switch to your messages app, brows furrowed.

“Where did you go?” Jungkook whines.

Your heart drops to your ass as you read the text once, twice, trying to make sense of it.

[6:07 pm] Yoongi: hobi left and blocked me

A second text comes in just a few seconds later.

[6:08 pm] Yoongi: he didn’t even say goodbye

You immediately switch to your conversation with Hoseok, and you ask him what’s up, but the text remains green despite the fact that the rest of the conversation is filled with blue bubbles. 

He’s blocked you too. And when you go to the group chat with all of your other friends, you notice he’s left it as well, and you’re blocked on social media too.

“Where are you?” Jungkook whines again, the pout in his voice evident.

You go back to Facetime. “I think I’ll have to go.”

He looks displeased, and he toys with his piercings, his tongue pushing into his cheek a second later. “Why?”

“Yoongi needs me,” you say. “And!” you quickly add before he can say anything. “It’s about Hobi.”

“What about Hobi?” Jungkook asks, and you hear the annoyance just as well as you see it etched on his features.

You usually find him adorable when he gets jealous, but right now you can’t even focus on that, your thoughts going to Yoongi, whose heart is likely shattering on and on at the moment.

“He left and blocked everyone,” you tell Jungkook. “So yeah, I think Yoongi’s going to need me tonight.”

Jungkook doesn’t like the explanation. It’s clear as spring water, yet he still says, “M’kay.”

“We can call again tomorrow?” you suggest, hoping that it’d reassure him.

Even though he doesn’t need reassurance - there’s no one else in your heart but him, and you hope he knows it.

“Sure,” he says.

It’s your turn to pout. “Please?”

At that he melts, his features softening. “Well if you ask so nicely…” 

That ends the conversation, and you quickly say goodbye, wishing him a good night. You take him in up until he hangs up the call, missing him the second that he’s gone. 

But you know Yoongi needs you, no matter how much you wish you could stay here with Jungkook. 

*****

Two hours later, you’re sitting on Yoongi’s bed, Namjoon on your left while Yoongi sits on the floor, his back against the bed. He’s drinking a beer, and you have an unopened one next to you. Condensation covers the bottle, yet you haven’t found it in you to drink yet.

Yoongi has been silent. You’d got there almost at the same time as Namjoon, and you’d been surprised to see him. Namjoon had just shrugged and said, “I’ve known him my whole life”, and that had been that.

It’s hard to cheer Yoongi up. Even harder after he told you that all Hoseok left behind was a letter of apologies. And you’ve read the letter - it broke your heart too, and you can’t even begin to imagine how Yoongi’s feeling.

In the letter, Hoseok explained why he decided to leave. You were right - he wanted to leave because of his relationship with Yoongi, seeking to flee from the reality of it, from the fact that Yoongi was his best friend, and that he felt like he’d lost that. It’s something you can understand - losing a friend is always hard, and sometimes the friendship is worth more than a relationship. At least it was to Hoseok. And though in the letter he claims that he’s enjoyed the last few months with Yoongi, his sudden absence, with no way to contact him, is proof enough that he didn’t really.

At least that’s what Yoongi’s been saying. 

Namjoon was shocked when Yoongi revealed his relationship with Hoseok. Even more so as he realized that you, out of everyone, were the only one who knew. Yet he’d taken it in stride, offering to have a beer with Yoongi.

“It’s fucking bullshit,” Yoongi says for what seems to be the hundredth time. 

You’d let him say it a thousand times more if that helped him feel better.

“You know what we should do?” Namjoon says from beside you.

You glance at him, before setting your gaze on the back of Yoongi’s head again.

“What?” Yoongi asks, looking over his shoulder.

“What about a rage room?”

Yoongi laughs an empty laugh. “No thank you. Though maybe it would help temporarily, I kind of just want to find a way to tell Hobi he’s a dick.”

You quickly found out that Hoseok has indeed blocked everyone from the friend group. As if cutting everyone out of his life was the only way he’d find solace in his new life. You think it’s a cowardly thing to do, and you’ve said so a couple of times already, to Yoongi’s delight.

“I don’t think that would bring you anywhere,” Namjoon carefully answers, the voice of reason itself.

You disagree, as you’ve always had more of an explosive personality, but you remain silent.

Yoongi glares at Namjoon. “It’d bring me a lot of satisfaction, thank you very much.”

Yoongi is funny. Behind all the cold exterior he has for people he doesn’t know, he’s got a funny persona you never thought was there. And you love it - he reminds you of you in some ways, and maybe that’s why you’ve gotten so close so easily.

“I personally think we should find out where he went and slash his tires,” you innocently say as you grab the beer bottle.

Namjoon narrows his gaze. “I doubt that’d be a good idea.”

“But fuck if it wouldn’t feel good,” Yoongi says, and he hands you the beer opener.

You open your beer, immediately bringing it to your lips as it foams and it threatens to spill. You drink as much of it as you can, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“It would,” you echo. “But maybe we can resort to more peaceful options. I feel like Namjoonie here will go insane if we keep suggesting stuff like that.”

“He’s boring, isn’t he?” Yoongi says.

“Yeah, why did you invite him?”

Namjoon snorts. “You guys are aware that I’m right here?”

“Did someone say something?”

Yoongi tilts his head to the side, pursing his lips. “I’m not sure. Maybe the apartment is haunted.”

“It has to be,” you agree, nodding forcefully.

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Namjoon asks, and you burst out laughing in time with Yoongi.

You’re relieved to hear him laugh. You didn’t know what to expect when you’d suggested coming over, but it’s a relief that he isn’t that much of a mess.

But then again, you have a feeling Yoongi is the kind of person to put on a mask whenever he’s with people. And maybe that’s okay - maybe tonight you’re just a distraction to keep him from spiraling out of control. 

You don’t mind. 

“Nothing,” Yoongi says, sighing deeply. “Besides the fact that I’ve just been ghosted by my best friend.”

You wince at the harsh reality of his words, but Yoongi shrugs it off as Namjoon says, “It’ll get better.”

Another sigh moves through Yoongi, and he nods. “I know. It’s just going to suck for a while.”

You shift, sliding from his bed down to the floor so that you can sit next to him. “And that’s okay.”

He avoids your gaze as you look at his profile, and so you glance away, your eyes sliding to his record player. The record he put on when you arrived has done playing, and you’ve been sitting in silence for fifteen minutes, but it’s a comfortable silence.

Maybe because you speak when needed, and Yoongi and Namjoon have a calm aura to them that you find you appreciate far more than you’d expect. You’re used to Ria after all, and though you love her, she’s a tornado everywhere she goes.

“How are you and Nabi?” Yoongi asks all of a sudden.

Namjoon blushes, as the quick glance towards him tells you. “You sure you want to talk about that?”

Yoongi shrugs. “It’s not because I’m miserable that everyone has to be.”

“You’re not miserable,” you gently say.

Yoongi’s side eye makes you stifle a laugh. “Let me be miserable.” There’s a pause, and Yoongi eventually pushes up from his bed, sitting straighter so that he can turn and look at Namjoon. “So?”

“We’re good,” Namjoon finally replies. “I’m trying to take things slow because of…” he trails off as he looks at you. “But yeah, we’re good.”

“That’s great,” Yoongi says, and though it doesn’t sound sarcastic at all, he adds, “Genuinely. You deserve it man.”

You don’t know a lot about Namjoon’s previous relationship. Just the girl’s name - Julia - and you can’t help the curiosity that overtakes you. But you’re not a dick. Indeed, you hold your questions in, instead saying, “If you hurt her, you’re a dead man.”

He winces, laughing lightly. “Ria told me the exact same thing.”

“Because Nabi is too precious and she needs to be protected at all cost,” you vehemently say, half-joking. You follow up with, “But seriously, please do take things slowly, and always be honest to her. She’s had this massive crush on you, and I really don’t want her to get hurt.”

“I know,” Namjoon says, and he sighs, looking down the neck of his half-empty beer bottle. “I’ve had a crush on her too so…”

“You did?”

Yoongi laughs. “He so did. He kept mentioning her for months, saying that she was just a friend.”

“I mean, technically she was,” Namjoon says, trying to defend himself.

He’s blushing furiously now - it’s climbing up his neck and covering his whole face, and you think, that right here is what Nabi deserves.

“We always knew it wasn’t just that, though,” Yoongi says. “Clearly Julia knew too.”

Namjoon’s expression falls, and he sighs deeply. “Yeah. To be fair, she’s the one that decided to end things.”

You remain silent, taking a long sip of beer to refrain from saying something stupid, something that would silence Namjoon. You hate the taste of beer though, and you scrunch up your nose in disgust as you swallow. It goes unnoticed by both men, as Yoongi says, “Honestly, Julia was a bitch.”

“She had it rough growing up,” Namjoon replies, his voice drowning in what you think might be nostalgia, or regrets. “Hopefully she’ll get better from now on.”

“Having rough circumstances growing up doesn’t give someone an excuse to be a dick though,” Yoongi flatly says, not one to mince his words after all. “But yeah, hopefully she’ll get the help she clearly needs.”

Damn. You almost feel bad for the girl, but then again you don’t know her. Maybe Yoongi’s animosity towards her is deserved, and you don’t feel like questioning it.

No, you’d rather Namjoon forget about her and focus on Nabi instead.

“Whatever,” Namjoon lets out, shrugging his shoulders. “Even though everything with Nabi is recent, I feel a lot better with her than I ever felt with Julia.”

“Not hard to beat,” Yoongi grumbles underneath his breath, which earns him a slap behind the head from Namjoon.

“Hey, I get that you’re sad but don’t be a dick,” Namjoon sternly says.

Namjoon is a natural leader. You’ve seen it before, when he’d led your team from Frosh week to success. And you’ve seen it every time he’s TA’d a class, yet right now you realize he might be a leader in his friendships as well. Indeed, Yoongi folds, apologizing right away.

You end up spending the evening at Yoongi’s place. Your other friends join, and though the air around Seokjin and Ria is clearly tense, you end up having a blast. Even Yoongi seems to be enjoying himself, but when you notice him increasingly silent, you suggest heading home. He offers you a thankful gaze, and you guide everyone out of the apartment.

To your surprise, Yoongi hugs you goodbye, holding you close for a few seconds longer than you’d thought he’d be comfortable with. But then again, you reckon he might need it, so you hug him tight, letting him choose when to pull away.

“Thank you for tonight,” he whispers when he does, and his eyes glint with the silver on his waterline.

You offer him what you hope is a comforting smile. “Anytime, Yoongi. Just say the word and I’ll be here for you.”

“I’ll remember.”

You smile again, and then you wish him good night, walking out of the apartment last. Yoongi keeps the door open as you all walk down the stairs, and he shuts it when you’ve all disappeared from view. 

You send him a silent prayer to be gentle with himself, and you can only hope he hears it over the sound of his breaking heart.

Friday, May 3rd

You like your summer job. It’s chill, and you don’t have to start too early, so you always enjoy it. You’re an assistant at an optometry clinic, which means you do the pre-tests for the doctors, and since they don’t start before 10 am, you don’t either. 

What you don’t like is that one of the optometrists finishes at seven pm, which means you also do, and finishing at seven pm on a Friday evening should be a crime. It’s no wonder you’re slightly grumpy when you finally walk outside, waving goodbye to the optometrist.

At least she’s chill. She could be an asshole, but she got the team donuts today, and she even bought you lunch when you admitted you didn’t bring anything.

You walk to your car - the one you share with Taehyung - and you pull your phone out of your purse as you do so, eyes skimming over all the texts you’ve received.

You’re going out tonight, to a bar that Yoongi chose for its relatively chill ambiance, and you’re excited for it. Yoongi’s been MIA since you all hung out at his apartment, so you hope it’ll cheer him up, and you hope it’ll also help with pushing Jungkook out of your thoughts.

Not that you mind thinking about him - sometimes you believe him to be the president of the land of your mind. But he’s been texting you less and less every day, and you haven’t facetimed yesterday despite him saying he’d try.

You’ve been trying not to make a big deal out of it, but something about it feels off somehow. You reckon you’re probably just imagining things where none are, afraid as you are of the fragility of the relationship. 

But then again you’ve always trusted your gut feeling, and it’s never really failed you before.

You sigh, trying to ignore the foul taste in your mouth so that you can read the texts on your screen instead. Ria’s the one that texted you most recently, saying,

[6:46 pm] Ria: can we get ready at yours?  [6:47 pm] Ria: tho my mom’s happy I moved back in for the summer, she doesn’t want me to invite people over [7:06 pm] You: sure, heading home now

You reach your car, opening the door and throwing your purse on the passenger seat. A second later you’re sliding in, and you turn the keys in the engine. The car purrs to life, and soon enough, you’re on your way home, listening to the music on the radio.

Your mood brightens slightly when you reach home and see that there’s a spot on the street right in front of your apartment. You immediately grab it, even though you suck at parallel parking and it takes you three tries, and then you’re jumping out of the car, climbing the stairs to unlock the door.

You manage to take a shower before Ria shows up, a sour look on her features. You cock an eyebrow, letting her in. She breezes past you, not saying anything, and that more than anything else tells you that something’s wrong.

“What’s up?” you say as you carefully shut the door behind her.

She sighs loudly, extravagantly. “Jin isn’t coming tonight.”

You widen your gaze. “Oh?”

“He said he’s tired from work,” Ria says, and she folds her arms on his chest. “He sucks.”

You snort. “Why are you so worked up?”

“Because I know he’s lying!” She takes off her leather jacket, putting it away in the closet, and then she kicks off her shoes to strut into the kitchen. “Can I grab a glass of water?”

“Sure,” you say as you follow behind her. “Why do you think he’s lying?”

“He’s going on a date and doesn’t want to come to the bar after,” she admits, and the frown on her face tells you everything there is to know.

She is jealous, but she’ll never dare admit it. She’s way too proud for that, and though sometimes you know it protects her, you feel like it can be her demise all the same.

“Oof,” you only let out.

“Right?” She chugs the glass of water, putting it away in the sink. She leans back against the counter, folding her arms on her chest. “He’s just got out of a relationship, why would he get in another one?”

“I mean…” you trail off, shrugging. “Isn’t that what Namjoon did with Nabi?”

“That’s not the same,” Ria insists, shaking her head. 

It is, as a matter of fact, the same, but you refrain from saying so.

“He doesn’t even know the girl, she’s a blind date that his colleague is forcing him to go on,” Ria adds. “Why would he want to go?”

“Well…” you let out. “Maybe he just wants to throw himself out there again.”

Ria doesn’t like you saying that, and she offers you a scalding look that makes you snort again.

“You’re so mad,” you tease her.

“I’m not!”

“Do you like him?”

She makes a disgusted face, shaking her head. “No, of course not.”

“Then why does it matter if he’s going on a date?”

The answering silence is telling enough, and Ria clenches her jaw once, before pouring herself another glass of water. “I hate when you make sense.”

“Love you too,” you answer, and you walk to her as she’s got her back turned to you. You hug her from behind, saying, “We’ll have fun tonight, I promise.”

And you don’t know who you’re trying to convince. You or Ria. Because the dreadful feeling that sits in the pit of your stomach only intensifies as you get ready, putting your makeup on in the bathroom while Ria curls her hair with your curling iron.

You’re almost done, about to put your setting powder on when the music stops, and the unmistakable sound of the Facetime ringing fills the room. Your heart jumps to your throat, and you quickly put your brush down, grabbing your phone.

“Damn, who’s calling you?” Ria teases your reaction.

You frown as you see Taehyung’s picture from your contacts - you’d expected Jungkook. 

You pick up, and it takes a few seconds before it connects. Taehyung’s smiling face comes into view, and it takes you half a heartbeat to figure out he’s drunk.

Jimin is laughing in the background, and you hear Sera scolding him, though all you can see is Taehyung, and you think the shoulder beside him might belong to Ariane.

“Sis,” Taehyung greets you. “Not ignoring me anymore?”

“Hello!” Ariane says, and she comes into view, resting her head on Taehyung’s shoulder.

“Hi?” you answer, and Ria chimes in with a far more enthusiastic “Hello!”

“Y/n!” Jimin says in the background.

Taehyung turns his phone just enough for you to see Jimin, who’s waving like a madman.

They’re all drunk. That much is clear. What’s clearer is the absence of a certain Jeon Jungkook in the group, and you can’t help but wonder what he’s up to.

He hasn’t texted you since this morning after all.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“Just thought I’d check in with you,” Taehyung says, his speech slurred. “Anything fun planned tonight?”

“Going out with some friends,” you answer. “Nothing extravagant. What are you guys up to? Isn’t it crazy late in Paris?”

Taehyung frowns, focusing on something. “Just two am, not too bad.”

Right.

“What are you doing?” you ask, and you sit on the closed toilet, glancing once at Ria who seems fully focused on doing her hair.

“We’re just chilling while Jungkook finishes up with Gaby,” Taehyung says. “They fucking stole the bedroom.”

Ria’s head snaps towards you, as time slows and slows and slows, coming to a halt long enough for you to say, “What?”

“Yeah, you’ll never imagine,” Taehyung says. “Ari’s best friend here is JK’s ex from high school. She’s French but she grew up in New York.”

Chronology is interrupted - you think there might be a hiccup in the line of time. But then it starts again, far too quickly, and your blood fills with adrenaline, your heart picking up in your chest.

“Who?” you let out, sounding infinitely stupid.

But then again, maybe you’ve been a fool all along, since that very first kiss he’d claimed to be a fake Valentine’s Day kiss.

“Gaby,” Taehyung repeats. “Gabrielle. She’s pretty chill.”

Your heart aches in your chest. It burns like someone threw acid on it, and you feel it shrivel behind your ribs, slowly turning to dust.

“Oh.”

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, and you wonder if you imagine the knowing look that passes on his face.

“Nothing,” you quickly reply, but you can’t breathe anymore.

It’s like there’s no more oxygen in the room, and you’re choking on the nitrogen, your mind spinning.

Taehyung gets up, and then everything is truly spinning. You think you hear Sera saying something that sounds like ‘Come on’, but then again you might be deaf.

All you hear is that sentence Taehyung said - We’re just chilling while Jungkook finishes up with Gaby.

When you were younger, you’d always believed your heart to be invincible. You’d felt invincible, like maybe you were meant to conquer all mountains. 

Tonight, you realize you’ve never been invincible - you just never cared enough about anything to thoroughly break, your heart shred beyond recognition.

Taehyung is walking somewhere. He laughs on the way, and Jimin is close behind, as you can see his head peeking over your brother’s shoulder.

“Don’t open the door,” Jimin says.

Taehyung snorts, and it’s like he forgot you’re right there. Or maybe he’s enjoying this.

Maybe he’s known about Jungkook all along, and this is his own twisted way to kill the relationship before it really starts. 

Your reckon, you deserve it. For all the lies, for the truth hidden, you deserve it. But then again, isn’t Jungkook the true responsible of the neverending breaking in your chest? Because it’s breaking - like a glass dropped, your heart is shattering. 

Perhaps chasing cars around Jungkook’s head was only ever leading to an inevitable crash.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung singsongs, and then you hear a door being opened, and the camera flips.

You don’t even know why you’re still looking. You know exactly what’s going to be under your eyes - what is under your eyes - but you can’t stop watching. Can’t really see it either, blurry as it is behind the tears pooling in your gaze.

I promise I’ll come back to you and make it work

He was never going to come back, wasn’t he? He was bound to be left in the past - you should have known when you’d kissed him by the door. Should have known to take the time to commit his features to memory.

Your vision clears, and the scene comes in focus. He’s dressed. He’s fully clothed, and so is she - you don’t even know if it’s a relief. Because they’re clearly kissing, and you think maybe he’s ripped your heart from your chest.

He was lying to you. He was lying to you through it all, wasn’t he? You should have listened to everyone, should have run while you still could.

You’re crying. You only realize you’re crying when Ria steals your phone from your hands, quickly hanging up the call. 

“Y/n,” she gently says, and she kneels in front of you, wiping the tears on your cheeks. “Y/n.”

“Holy shit,” is all you’re able to say before you break into sobs, shaking from the ferocity of the heartbreak. 

Your heart, now shards of glass, pricks your skin, pricks your soul. Everything hurts - you burn and drown, you freeze and blaze. You can’t breathe around the sobs, choking on them as they rock through you, yet you can’t stop them.

And as you break, you see him on Valentine’s Day. You see his sparkling eyes, his gentle gaze. See his lips right before he’d kissed you, so gentle like he’d been afraid to break you. You see him in New York, see him as he’d fucked you like you were in the clouds. You see him every day since then - you’d been so convinced of the reciprocity of the feelings that you’d forgotten who you were dealing with.

You think perhaps you’d truly just been the little sister, a fantasy he had to check on his bullet list of things to do in his life. And perhaps he’d been afraid of breaking you, of the inevitable consequences on him.

“He fucking lied to me,” is the first thing you manage to say through the breaking.

Ria pulls you in, and you fall on the floor, where she holds you as you cry. 

“He fucking lied.”

She strokes your hair. “I’m sorry.”

And it hits you then - Jungkook never really said he had feelings for you. It’d just been an act - the grandest act of his life, perhaps. And you’d been foolish enough to fall, to fall and fall and think he’d catch you. You’d thought you were diving in sweet waters, yet tonight you crash on concrete, the Earth’s gravity destroying you until you’re just a memory, meant to be carried away on a wind of heartbreak.

Ria stays with you until you fall asleep in your bed, your makeup ruined by your tears.

Your heart ruined by Jeon Jungkook.

Prev | Chapter 11.5 | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

.................. i am deeply sorry. please don't hate me for this one, and feel free to scream at me too :') (i promise everything will make sense one day)

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[sophietv]

Everything you need to know : Failed Coming Out 2019

This is an answer to an anon I've received.

I typed it all and Tumblr said there was an error when I went and tried to published it. So I had to type it all again but lost the anon....

Here's the question: could you tell me more about her wanting to come out in 2019? sorry for asking again I'm new on the fandom!

Hi!

It will be my pleasure! This is such an important part of the Gaylor Lore to know and understand, especially when you are new in the fandom.

This theory has been confirmed, but we'll get to it in a minute.

Also, I'm so sorry because learning about what went down during Lover Era is a transformative experiece in the Gaylor fandom, in a very heartbreaking way.

So back in 2019 Taylor wanted to come out with the Lover Era.

June 30th during the New York City Pride wich was also the Stonewall's 50th anniversary, was supposed to be the day it happened.

This date might be familiar to you, because it's the date we learned at the same time as Taylor about her masters being sold to Scooter Braun.

So let's start at the begining of all of this. I won't go through ALL the details because my post will never end. But I'll cover the most important ones.

Right at the begining of the year, insiders were already talking about the fact that Taylor was planing to come out that year in podcasts and blind items.

Then in March 6th (Karlie and Taylor's anniversary)

Taylor does a post hinting at this new era. The very first lyrics we get (We got hints at ME back in February):

Daylight the song is about Karlie. But this line specifically means coming out.

Stepping into the daylight, and letting everyone see the real you.

(Also worth noting the lesbian filter)

Taylor started being really loud in the posts she made from now on. Flagging rainbow, lesbian and bi colors every chances she got.

And flagging Butterflies. Wich is very important thematically in Lover and coming out.

Side note on the Butterfly meaning:

Remembre how in reputation, snake was a really important theme?

And how in Lover it switched to butterflies?

More specifically it switched to Snakes transforming into butterflies?

There's a species of butterflies, that when they are in the chrysalid phase of their transformation into a butterfly, can look like a snake if they feel unsafe or attacked in order to protect themselves.

Then, after the average 13 days waiting period, they transforms into a beautiful butterfly.

Basically what Taylor was doing, protecting herself during reputation with that "personna" like she described.

And now, she was ready to finally transforms and have a new beginning.

Here's a description of what butterflies means:

A powerful beacon of growth and new beginnings, the butterfly signifies the power of transformation and the incredible feats we can achieve when we trust ourselves. We all have the ability to listen to our innate wisdom, guide ourselves through difficult times, and emerge better and stronger than before.

The ME! of it all:

Ok back into the Lover Era timeline!

So all those rainbow posts were leading up to the first single: ME!

Even Taylor Nation was pretty loud about this (number of rainbows = number of days leading to ME! release):

3 days before ME! release, Taylor performs at the Time 100 Gala and it's the first and only time she switched so very clearly pronouns in the song, multiple times:

She sings repeatedly : I want HER midnights

And she even seems to be getting more and more confortable as the song goes on and singing it louder and louder.

She also looks at the crowd while singing it.

Then she releases ME!

That was really the first part of her coming out.

And honnestly, she shouldn't have had to do more than this.

ME! was released on April 26th.

April 26th in 2019 was Lesbian Visibility Day.

And she captionned the release with: ME! Out Now!

A song about how she is unique as a Lover...

That is without mentioning the amount of rainbows everywhere in that MV as well as other references.

Worth noting that in 2019 Lil NasX came out in a MV with the rainbow tower and was annoyed that people didn't get it?

Taylor also probably deadass thought that she made it obvious:

May & June 2019 leading up to the big coming out:

Taylor continues to be as loud as she can.

She makes a very generous donation to GLAAD:

She sings ME! every chances she gets, while flagging the Lesbian Flag.

Taylor Nation also keeps on being really loud:

And releases a song and music video about homophobia and includes herself front and centered in the LGBTQ+ community (represented by the Trailer park, note how Ryan Reynolds, the only straight person in the MV is outside of this park, not in it like Taylor).

With a bi flag wig...

So yeah, she was trying really hard to make people see her.

Christian Siriano and the dress...

Back in April, we learned that Christian Siriano (a fashion designer) was working on a project for Taylor:

In June, he started teasing us about a mistery rainbow dress for an unnknown person:

It was heavily rumored that it would be the dress used by Taylor to come out at the end of Pride Month.

He kind of confirmed it with this post:

Then. June 30th.

The New York City Pride.

Taylor planned to come out at the event.

Employees on site, starts to be warned about this (you can find some comments online).

Taylor learns at the same time as us that her masters were sold to Scooter Braun.

She never makes it to Pride.

And Billy Porter ends up wearing the dress:

But. You can see that the dress was not meant to be worn by him. It doesn't fit well and the "nude" parts shows that it was meant to be worn by a white person.

In 2022, Christian confirmed it by dueting a TikTok talking specifically about this.

He deleted it right after but you can still find it on TikTok: (X)

Last minutes changes to Lover:

We now know that Taylor scrapped two songs from Lover: All Of The Girls You Loved Before and Need.

All Of The Girls is really loud and very clearly talks about a girl. Wich Taylor couldn't afford if she didn't want to/couldn't come out.

London Boy was actually written and added really last minute to the album.

Really interesting, because this is her loudest song about her loving boyfriend. Wich is a brilliant thing to do if you want to limit the public speculation after all the flagging that you did...

We know it was last minute, because Taylor sampled it on Cold War from Cautious Clay. (X)

He was called in the middle of the night and had to approve the sample right away.

Interesting fact: Cold War was featured in Book Smart, a movie Taylor promoted that year.

The song plays during a lesbian sex scene...

The intro to London Boy is actually Idris Elba in a interview where he was talking about a charity where he sold a date with him.

You know, people paid to date him...

The shift in the Lover Era:

After this, you can start to see a shift. Where it was colorful sequin and rainbows everywhere with colorful choreography.

She now dresses in black, is incredibly sad and sings mostly accousting song.

Like her BBC 1 performance or Lover In Paris:

Miss Americana:

Miss Americana was supposed to be her coming out documentary.

It has been confirmed by the director of the project that a lot of footage has been scrapped.

Also, the documentary was supposed to be called : Is It Cool That I Said All That?

This is why the documentary sometimes feels like something is missing and some parts are rushed.

They tried to switch her coming out approach by making it her political activism era.

Taylor confirms it in Anti-Hero MV:

She's pierced through the heart by The Archer.

Her queerness starts showing (she's bleeding lavender glitters).

She tries to cover it up by taking the table cloth.

Her wanting to cover it spoils the dinner for everyone and they leave her.

And while she sings : "Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, Like some kind of congressman?"

She covers her queerness with a sticker : Vote For Me, For Everything

Confirming that the political activism during Lover Era and mostly Miss Americana was in fact really to cover the fact that she was already one foot out of the closet when they had to backtrack.

With this. Take a look at the closing scene of Miss Americana. When The Archer is playing in the background.

It's a montage of Taylor talking to someone and Taylor on the release night of Lover.

Look at what Taylor says...

Queerbaiting Backlash:

This might be the worse part in my opinion.

Since she was flagging so hard to come out.

Sadly, most people didn't get that that was exactly what she was trying to do.

And medias massively accused her of queerbaiting.

And using the queer community.

I'm still so mad and heartbroken about this....

reusing an old Twitter post...

Even queer fans...:

Frankly, speculating about her sexuality would have been way less damaging than this...

Songs about this event:

Taylor wrote a lot about this failed coming out.

The Archer, was her song about her anxiety about coming out. And begging her fans to stay.

I'm not gonna do a full lyrics analysis because this post is already a novel.

But read those lyrics with that in mind and you'll see how loud it is, and heartbreaking.

"I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you"

Also. Worth noting that after Lover was released and she was not able to come out, she switched one lyric in that song.

Instead of "Combat, I'm ready for combat" singular (coming out was the combat she was ready to face)

She now sings every time "Combats, I'm ready for Combats", because coming out has turned into multiple battles that she has to face now...

Hoax:

Noticed how she says that all of her heroes die all alone in The Archer?

Her fear that if she comes out, all her fans would leave.

In Hoax she says: "You know the hero died so what's the point of keeping score movie for?"

Because with her Master Heist and everything, she was not able to be one of those heroes herself... The hero that she wanted to be died in that moment because she was unable to come out.

Edit: I messed up the lyrics. But it's even more telling. Because the movie she's talking about is Miss Americana, once she was unable to come out.

Evermore:

This song is litteraly her looking back at what happened and how she managed to process everything and ultimatly heal even though it felt at the start like she would never be able to.

"I've been down since July" - June 30th = failed coming out

"Motion capture, put me in a bad light" - Queerbaiting allegations. And Miss Americana being rebranded.

"Writting letters, adressed to the fire" - Her hundred thrown out speeches that she almost said.

"I rewind the tape, but all it does is pause, on the very moment all was lost" - June 30th...

"Sending signals, to be double crossed" - Her flagging strongly on her way to come out, only to be accused of queerbaiting.

Right Where You Left Me:

The restaurant is a metaphor for the closet.

"Sitting in a corner I haunt, cross legged in the dim light"

Doesn't really feel like a restaurant, but her hiding in the closet.

"I swear, you could hear a hairpin drop. Right when I felt the moment stopped"

Droping hairpins is giving hints that you are gay.

She was doing this very loudly right before she was kept from coming out.

"Dust collected on my pinned up hair"

Her hair are still pinned up because she was not able to come out. And dust collected over time that she spent forced in the closet.

Anti-Hero:

AH is really The Archer 2.0, and talks about the same fear of coming out and being abandonned.

The fact that she decided to depict herself as the Anti-Hero is both really interesting and heartbreaking.

Because to her, the hero was the version of herself that was able to come out...

Listen to Change in the perspective of being able to come out and change the face of the industry:

"Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Fight for what we've worked for all these years

And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives

But we'll stand up champions tonight"

They were the Champions.

Side note: she sang this song at the ACMA in 2010, two weeks before Chely Wright's coming out.

When we know that she has knowed and worked with Chely since about 2007.

Then Taylor wrote Long Live one month after Chely Wright's coming out.

Listen to the song with the same perspective as Change now.

"You held your head like a hero, on a history book page"

Chely Wright came out in May 2010. Taylor wrote Long Live in June 2010.

Look at the parallels of both songs.

And now, look at her choice to name that song Anti-Hero after everything that hapenned....

She also wrote Long Story Short and The Great War about that event, but this is for another post and it's about how this event affected her relationship with Karlie.

How she thought she was betrayed but ultimately found out it was not the case.

And how they both made it through.

Ok, I'm exhausted lol.

Sorry for writting a novel.

But this is such an important part of Taylor's history and I really wanted to do it justice (hope I was able to).

If you are still reading...Thank you for your question!

[chuuyasheaven]

SUMMARY. It’s Chuuya’s Birthday today, and sadly he has to work till evening! He feels bad— for some reason— because he can’t spend the day with you. . But when he got home saw the food you made and a gift just waiting for him in your bedroom. .

TAGS. fem! Reader / Chuuya Nakahara, THIS A SMALL DRABBLE FOR THE FIC COMING, smut (p in v, praise, etc. idk), this is actually LAZILY written so yeah, idk anymore I’m just burnt out by school 😭, etc.

NOTES. Yes, I’m unfortunately still alive!!! Let me tell you buddy, writers block + finals anxiety/stress + depression is something you do NOT wanna experience at the same time. But yeah sorry for the late post I did not forget my blue eyed glorious beautiful most perfect man to walk this earth ginger sweet king’s birthday 🙏

Just imagine the guilt Chuuya felt for not spending the day with you. . Why? It’s his birthday today and you had a day planned for it but no, work had to be done. He did not expect to come home to his favorite meal next to a glass of wine on the table, but he’s still grateful of course! The meal wasn’t the only surprise though!!

Chuuya was laying on his back while you were on top of him, in the most beautiful lingerie he has ever seen, undressing him slowly. He felt a rush of adrenaline through his body, was this really happening? Well, yes, it was! It’s his birthday, of course he deserves only the best. A lot of thoughts were rushing through his head before Chuuya felt your breath on his neck. He had not noticed you bending down, but he did notice your kisses trailing from his neck to his chest. “Fuck!”, he gasped as you started to lick and suck on his nipple, where he was pretty sensitive.

“Feels good, Chu?”, you asked with a seductive undertone before switching nipples. Your hand ran up and down his stomach, making him shudder time to time. Done with his upper body, you moved to his lower body, unbuckling his belt and opening his pants with a smile. “Jus’ relax, okay?”, you cooed to him, continuing to free his lower parts from remaining clothes. “I’m tryin’ to, sweetheart. It’s hard when you’re being so. .”, Chuuya stopped mid sentence when you took his cock into your hand. “So what, Chu?”, he looked away from your gaze flustered. “C’mon, tell me. And look at me when you do.”, you commanded him nicely while you were already stroking his tip with your thumb, slow and gentle.

“. . When you’re being so. . perfect.”

23.53h/11.53pm, 30th April rn, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUUYA THE FIC IS BEING WORKED ON (fr tho)

[urrockstar-xe]

meant for each other - j.m x fem!reader

posted april 30th, 2023, 9:23 pm

pure fucking fluff this is so cutesy im sry

masterlist

wordcount: 0.9k

“What do you see in him?” 

Sarah’s question made you laugh. What did you see in him? Please,

When you looked at JJ you saw the stars that scattered the sky the night you shared your first kiss, you saw the sunlight coming in through your curtain, shining perfectly over the boy lying fast asleep in your bed. You saw the waves crashing against you in the most comforting way possible. 

When you looked at JJ you saw your safe space, your future, and a slight fear of ever relating to “the one that got away” by Katy Perry. This is ironic considering your entire life you’ve been practically preaching words like “You’re 16 he’s not the love of your life, he’s just some boy, don’t worry, the pain will end” but now you get it because if anything were to happen you probably wouldn’t shower a lot and you’d cry so much you’d end up the most dehydrated you’ve ever been.

But as Sarah and Kie giggled beside you, you didn’t say all that. You simply responded, “What do you see in john b and fucking Topper?” 

This threw the three of you into another fit of laughter as Kiara seconded what you said and Sarah defended her taste in men. You let her, and all of her points were valid. You didn’t defend your taste because it seemed impossible for anyone to understand.

And for the most part, you were right. Your friends would watch as you laughed at a stupid joke JJ made or how fast he’d do something simply because you’re the one who asked (“jj open this beer for me?” “Yes, ma’am”), they’d watch as you scold him for the hundredth time through tears because he takes the phrase “ride or dies” far too literally for your liking. They noticed every single time that JJ sat down how he’d nod towards you as a signal to come to sit by him, and how you happily obliged every time, whether it be in his lap or on the floor in front of him. (though when this is the case he’ll have you switch places while making some dirty joke about sitting between your legs which always ends in you shoving his shoulder and him using your thigh as a pillow). They notice how gentle you act towards him whenever there's a new bruise on his cheek or cut on his lip. They notice all of it and for the last 2 years (1 year and 3 months of friendship, 8 months of something more) John B will say “They’re meant for each other,” and his two friends would nod and hum in agreement. Sarah caught on fairly fast to how you two were. The dynamic of two people who would do anything to prevent losing all they had.

The first time she fully noticed just how bad it was, happened a while back when John B was getting arrested and the cops had you all surrounded. 

She saw the look that flashed in your eyes when you saw JJ prepping his gun for whatever idiotic idea he had in mind, she saw the sirens going off in your head as he watched John B direct JJ’s plan elsewhere and give himself up. The sirens didn’t stop until all of the cop cars and boats were scattering back to where they belonged. Leaving the group of pogues without their friend. But all you could think of was the image of your boyfriend murdered in front of you by a bunch of cops. Because yeah it didn’t happen but what if it had? Sarah had seen the way you pushed JJ back just to grab fistfuls of his shirt and bring him right back to you, “what the fuck was that, JJ? Huh? If they had even seen that gun you’d be bleeding out right now, No actually you’d probably be fucking dead” Pope tried to intervene but he was quickly shut up by Kiara pulling him back to her side, silently telling him to leave you be. JJ was quiet, his eyes rapidly moving to follow the stream of tears rolling down your cheeks, his hands softly placed on your wrists to try and keep your hands from shaking more than they already had been. 

“You always say that stupid shit about having nothing to lose but I fucking do JJ and it’s you, you’re what I have to lose and if you ever do some stupid shit like that again I swear to god-” 

And at that moment, as Sarah saw you practically fall into him, sobbing into his shoulder while he held you together, she realized.

She saw what you saw, she saw everything you had, everything you needed, who happened to come in the form of a pretty and reckless teenage boy.

Now, months later, she watched as you were twirled in a circle by that very same boy. Smiling and Laughing as you danced under the tree lights at the chateau. 

“They’re meant for each other” This time it was Sarah saying it, with a soft smile on her lips. Four people agreed in hums and nods. “They've always been like that?” Cleo’s question was immediately answered by groans and laughs, “only since the beginning of time,” Pope replied, “it’s like they're in their own little disgusting world,” Kie joked.

“I think it’s sweet,” Sarah said, “me too,” John B agreed.

[totallynotcoffeeturtle]

Scaramouche Masterlist

In all works I write, unless stated otherwise, the reader is gender neutral.

Genshin masterlist

Fluff - Suitable for all ages Not (as) safe for work - Suggestive or dark(er) content Content warning(s) - Will be included where necessary!

From April 6th to April 30th, I am opening my requests for 100 followers milestone! Check out more here! EVENT HAS ENDED!! THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO HAS jOINED <33

HC(s):

♡ Little treasure chest Wanderer x shy! quiet! reader

♡ The ups and downs of dating nerd!Scaramouche How it's like dating nerdy scaramouche~

♡ Crochet and Coquette ♡ Wanderer likes you, and somewhat your crocheting hobby~

♡ Put a Ring On That... ! Where Wanderer puts a ring on your finger

Drabbles:

♡ Anniversary with Scaramouche Celebrating your one year anniversary with your dear boyfriend~

♡ Sweet little dove Yandere Scaramouche making you his (obsessive behavior)

♡ Worship me Scaramouche loves his obedient pet! (dom/sub tones, power play(?))

♡ "Would you still love me if I were a worm?" Wanderer loves you, even if you ask the silliest questions at times

♡ Chocolate, Blankets and (Preferably), Cuddles Where Scaramouche helps ease you through your period (female anatomy/reader)

♡ Kiss, Kiss, (already) Fall In Love That one tiktok kiss trend but with Scaramouche

♡ Kiss Me Under The Milky Twilight You celebrating Valentine's day with Scaramouche, even if he's somewhat late.

♡ Cuddle Trouble(s)! Scaramouche x reader who has a lot of plushies

♡ Head Spinner Have you ever thought of what would happen if Wanderer gets slapped?

♡ They’re a runner, they’re a trackstar ☆ The consequences of a kiss-and-run, really

♡ Wanderer? Never heard of 'im. Where you call your boyfriend by the wrong nickname

♡ Height Matters Not! Height (dis)advantage over wanderer~

♡ Breathing is for losers only! (Request) Where Wanderer's lack of need to breathe is free real estate! (suggestive, brat!scara)

♡ Too Sweet (For Me!) (Request) Even when married, Wanderer is just as bashful as ever~

♡ That One Time Scara Is Not Insulted When Called "Doll" (Request) The title says it all, really

♡ Sinking Into Your Arms Where merman Scaramouche takes you as his own. (possessive behavior, yandere! scara, suggestive)

♡ Good Night and Sweet Dreams Love is best enjoyed when Scara whispers his love to your (supposed) sleeping self~

♡ Fan Favorite! You play a little harmless prank on your boyfriend right before his stream.

♡ Sleepy Affirmations Your love shine the brightest when Scaramouche is asleep.

♡ Heart Eyes, On You Mutual crushes but it's you and Wanderer and a very tired Nahida

♡ Touch Starved Wanderer wants to feel you too, a lot of the time.

Fics: (On AO3 only)

♡ A Picnic With Scaramouche (Hopefully Won't End In Disaster)  You and Scaramouche goes on a picnic date

♡ Happy birthday! Your birthday celebration in Sumeru with the one and only Hat Guy Wanderer!

If you want to be tagged on my future scara x reader fics, just comment something along the line of 'tag me' under here or any of my fics~

[atlantis-is-burning]

Dead Boy Detectives Cancelation

So in light of the heartbreaking news of Dead Boy Detectives getting canceled, I decided to write a letter to @netflix It's the first time I've ever felt compelled to reach out to a major company regarding their services but I wanted them to know how much the show means to us as fans and what they're taking away from us by canceling it.

For me, the show was a literal life-saver. Without going into too much detail, I was in a very dark place prior to its release and it was the only thing that helped me through it. That and meeting all of you =)

I don't know what impact it will have, if any, but if you would like to write a letter to Netflix as well letting them know what the show meant to you, I would definitely do so. Our community may be small compared to other fandoms but we are passionate and devoted to this show and they deserve to hear from us.

I've attached the letter below the cut for anyone who would like to read it and believe me, I'm not trying to medal in the tragedy Olympics with the intro, it's just a fact of what happened.

Maybe the show helped you in ways you couldn't imagine. Maybe it made you feel better about yourself or something that occurred in the past. Maybe it was just a fun comfort show for you that you really enjoyed. Whatever the reason, this show brought out the best in people and made the world feel just a little bit kinder for a while and I will never forgive Netflix for taking that away.

To whom it may concern,

On April 29th, I sat down and watched the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives. 

I had heard good things about the show since its release a few days earlier, that it was fun and campy and easy to watch, but for me I was hoping it would be a distraction. A very close friend of mine passed away without warning on December 30th; she was just there one day and gone the next. The first half of the year was spent helping her family get her affairs in order while trying to process our shared grief and figure out how we could move on without her. 

I didn’t begin to feel like myself again until late March and by then it was only a fraction of who I had been before her passing. So when I sat down and pulled up the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives, the only goal I had in mind was to pass a few hours watching a silly supernatural mystery show and think about something other than this sense of loss and imbalance that had settled over me.

It was the first time I smiled in nearly three weeks and it was the first time I laughed since December.

I watched the entire series, start to finish, in one night. Then I went back and watched it again the next day. And again a few days later. And for the first time since her passing, I felt like my friend was still there somehow, like we were watching it together. It was exactly the kind of show she would have loved when she was alive, flamboyant and silly with a touch of romance and mystery, so on my fourth rewatch of it, I sat on my couch with a picture of the two of us cradled in my lap, watching a show I know she would have enjoyed and feeling just the tiniest bit of my grief fade.

It was through the Dead Boy Detectives that I found a community online, a group of people who loved the show just as much as I did. We traded theories and ideas about the episodes, we excitedly welcomed new members who had just finished it and encouraged others to watch it in the meantime. We set up forums and threads on Reddit, we messaged each other, we embraced this silly, quirky show so much that it became a safe haven for a lot of us, it became a comfort series. We saw ourselves in this show and these characters and for many of us it gave us a sense of fellowship and belonging in a world where that feels more rare by the day.

And then it got canceled and for many of us, it felt like a slap in the face for the fans.

While I don’t claim to know the metrics on which a show’s success and renewal odds are based or what formula is used to determine ratings, I do know you didn’t see the fandom we created for ourselves because of this show. 

There are artists who make the most breathtaking art pieces you’ve ever seen, writers who bring you to tears with their works, and creators who painstakingly and lovingly created playlists and mood boards for each of the characters, matching them with songs and snippets of poetry that fit so perfectly it felt like it was made for them. There are fans who cosplay so well it looks like they borrowed the costumes directly from the production team and some who make jewelry and charms and trinkets that sell out almost before they complete them.

We engaged with the stars as well, wanting them to know how much we loved the show and these characters and how grateful we were to have watched them. We set up Q&As and asked them questions through Cameo, all the while thanking them for their work in bringing these characters to life. This show meant so much to us and we wanted them to know just what an impact they had had on more people than they ever could have imagined.

We were well aware of Netflix’s reputation of canceling shows based on poor viewership so we went in and organized weekly watch parties in an effort to increase the number of new viewers. We promoted it on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, creators made videos for it on TikTok, and we created an entirely new tag on social media to bring more attention to this show we all loved so much.

Early on, there were several comments from people who said they were hesitant to even watch it; they had been burned before and didn’t want to get deeply involved with a new show that would turn into yet another “one season wonder.” We did our best to reassure them and convince them that this time it would be different; it wouldn’t be like all the shows that had been cut down before it could ever really develop. Since it was tied in with DC and The Sandman Universe, we promised them that maybe this time we could save it, maybe this time it would be enough.

And it was still canceled.

On Friday, August 30th, ten minutes after the news broke that Dead Boy Detectives had been canceled, I canceled my Netflix subscription. Netflix was the first streaming service I ever signed up for and today it is the only streaming service I have ever canceled. And, after watching the fallout in our little online community, watching the actual grief people were experiencing because of the cancellation, and scrolling through pages upon pages of outraged fans who swore they would never watch another program on Netflix and vowed to cancel their subscription that day, I can see that my decision was justified.

You have no idea the impact this show had on its viewers and you have no idea the impact you had when you took it away. We had people admit that the show helped them come to terms with their sexuality, helped them process deep-seated trauma, helped them love and accept themselves for who they were. We knew the Dead Boy Detectives would never be a runaway hit like Stranger Things or Bridgerton but we hoped and prayed that it would stick around just a little while longer, that we could enjoy these characters and their stories for even one more season before they were gone for good. 

For you it may have been just a silly little ghost show that was little more than a blip on the radar but for a lot of us it was so much more than that, it meant so much more than that.

I am under no illusions that this email will make a difference or that it will bring the show back from cancellation but I wanted you to know what an incredible and amazingly talented fandom you are leaving behind in its wake. These are people who put their heart and soul into the art they create and the words they put on paper and all we wanted was a chance to see that continue.

We are tired of being drawn into a program and falling in love with the characters with no guarantee that our viewership and involvement actually means anything. We are tired of begging for complex characters and the representation we crave in media only to have the rug jerked out from under us once we finally get it. We are tired of hoping and praying and campaigning to save a show that should easily be renewed for several seasons or, at the very least, a season two. 

We are tired of feeling like we’re being taken advantage of as fans, that the passion and excitement we have toward these shows and their stars, the kind of involvement you claim to want, is dismissed with little regard toward the fans of the show itself.

We are your audience and we are tired.

We will continue to love and cherish this show and these characters, without your involvement, and give them a much longer life than they ever had on your platform. This show, the cast and crew, and the fans deserve better than what you gave them and I hope you understand the tremendous amount of talent and passion you’re throwing away in your fan base.

With regards,

-M

[moongazeonastarfillednight]

The Terror: When, How, Where... (PART 3)

See Part 1 (Intro, Episode 1 through 5)

See Part 2 (Episode 6 through 9)

1927 Admiralty Map (My beloved?)

To see the full map to interact with, click this link

List of Locations and approx dates:

Location 1 - David Young's grave (71.22, -96.60) - Sept 5 1846

Location 2 - Ships Position September 1846 (70.25, -98.00) - Sept 12 1846

Location 3 - Ships Position June 1847 (70.15, -98.30) - May 24 to Jun 11 1847

Location 4 & 5 - The Cairn and the Ice Camp (69.66, -98.27) - May 28 1847

Location 6- The Ships in January 1848 (70.055, -98.59) - January 10th- 17th 1848 

Location 7- The Ships in April 1848 (69.88, -98.57) - April 22nd 1848

Location 8 - Fairholmes' Last Resting Place (69.72, -98.35) - April 23rd 1848 

Location 9 - Terror Camp (69.644, -98.24) - April 24th-26th  1848 

Location 10 - Netsilik Massacre (69.62, -98.05) - April 25th 1848 

Location 11- Hodgson is found - Mutineers: (69.56, -98.06) - April 27th 1848 

Location 12 - Hodgson is found – Crozier (69.54, -98.14) - April 27th 1848 

Location 13 - Fitzjames Collapses (68.94, -98.79) - June 10th 1848 

Location 14 - Gibson's death (68.860, -98.73)  - June 27th 1848 

Location 15 - Fitzjames' Death (68.78, -98.21) - July 28th 1848 

Location 16 - The NorWest Passage (68.7, -98.06) - July 28th 1848

Location 17 - Hospital Camp (68.68, -97.74) - August 3rd 

Location 18 – Bridgens' death (68.70, -97.95) - August 10th 

Location 19/21 - Mutineer Camp (68.73, -97.99) - August 3rd 

Location 20 - Crozier Ambushed (68.67, -97.84) - August 10th 

Location 22 - Tulloch Point (68.56, -97.09) - October 5th - (Crozier) - August 30th (Little)

Location 23 - The Library (68.48, -96.58)  - October 9th (Crozier) - September 9th (Little)

Location 24 - Todd island (68.44, -96.29) - October 9th (Crozier) - September 14th (Little)

Location 25 - Starvation Cove (68.24, -96.59) - October 10th (Crozier) - September 28th (Little)

Location 26 - Netsilik Summer Camp (68.66, -95.932) - Silna

Historical and documented locations are in blue

Proposed locations by Franklin Researchers in orange

Proposed locations by yours truly in pink

Historical locations but for which the show took liberties... in red

P.S I couldn’t take my own screenshot from the show so… I had to try and find the best matching image out there this time :(

On With the Show

Episode 10 - We Are Gone

Episode 10 is full of action and, thankfully, will not make me ramble too much until after Silna rescues Crozier. If we generously accept that the previous locations and date I gave are good (or good enough), then we’ll situate the first three quarters of the episode pretty easily.

So, for the end of our tragedy, we start in a place we’ve been before;

 Location 19 - Mutineer’s Camp (68.73, -97.99)

Date: August 16th 1848

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 17h 26 min

Twilight -6h 34 min

Sunrise: 3:51 am, Sunset: 9:17 pm

The Episode starts with Hickey “welcoming” Crozier into his camp and we learn a clue about the date. “It’s a Wednesday”, followed, back at Hospital Camp, by Lt. Little who let us know that it has been a day since Crozier was taken by Des Voeux and Co.

So, the first question I have is: Did Des Voeux camp out the night? With what tent and what supply? They did not appear to have dragged anything with them. Perhaps they walked all night but that would have made for a very slow walk, probably, since we established that the Mutineers had camped only 6 miles away from the Hospital Camp and we’ve established previously that a slow pace for walking would be around 2mph.

Let’s address the first point. “It’s a Wednesday”. Well, my friends, I had previously placed Crozier’s being ambushed on August 10th and… that’s a thursday.

Therefore, I need to make a revision to Part 2, I’m afraid… I am not overly worried about this, however. I had based my timeline with very large stroke and I could either adjust that everything happens 2 days earlier that I previously said it would or 5 days later. Considering that the Tuunbaq battle happens during twilight and ends just as the sun is about the rise, and that was a couple of days later, I would be inclined to move everything forward 5 days. This would also give more “nighttime” for Hodgson to annoy Goodsir with his Catholic story… But also, this would explain why LeVesconte was feeling desperate enough to propose abandoning the ill, again. Time is flying by and they’re just… sitting… in that camp…

Therefore! Crozier comes into the Mutineer Camp on August 16th :) and we’re moving the day of Bridgens’ death on August 15th.

August 16th would also become the end for Mr. Goodsir.

And we are BACK at Hospital Camp for Le Vesconte little mutiny and, I have to say, I was so, so proud of Edward Little for trying to do the right thing… in a situation when there are no right decisions...

Location 17 - Hospital Camp (68.68, -97.74)

Date: August 16th 1848

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 17h 26min

Twilight - 6h 34 min

Sunrise: 3:50 am, Sunset: 9:16 pm

From Le Vesconte’s summary of their decision, this is also the day they leave Hospital Camp and, therefore, the day of Jopson’s death :(

Location 21 - Tuunbaq Battle (68.67, -97.84)

Date: August 18th 1848

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 17h 07 min

Twilight -6h 53 min

Sunrise: 4:00 am, Sunset: 9:06 pm

This is the next day, August 17th to August 18th (Tuunbaq dies shortly before the sun rises). 

Twilight would start at 9:19 pm but we started the day with a Goodsir breakfast and the question I would like to ask is this:

Did Hickey just wait until like… midnight to get them to start pulling that sledge? It looks like they did not come directly from the camp but from a little bit further away and maybe they chose to come at it from that angle because of the slope… Anyway, I’ll propose that, yes Hickey chose to wait until midnight to make them start pulling, making the battle happen on August 18th!

This would also mean that it would have taken almost 18 hours for Goodsir’s poison to take effect?

We’ll mark the location as the same as the Mutineer’s camp since they are so close to one another.

And now:

Crozier Recovers

 Location 19 - Mutineer’s Camp (68.73, -97.99)

Date: October 2nd 1848

Nighttime - 6h 20 min

Daylight - 10h 56 min

Twilight - 6 h44 min

Sunrise: 6:52 am, Sunset: 5:48 pm

The timeline for an amputation’s recovery are what I’ll need to use to check on when it is that Crozier can walk again.

Let’s start with the stump: I note that when Crozier announces to Silna his intention to try and find his men, the stump doesn’t have any kind of coverings. Meaning it would have been closed or scared well enough to not need it anymore.

(PS Looking for a screenshot of when he wakes up)

As you can imagine I haven’t found a lot of information on the web concerning how long an amputation would take to heal if it was made in the middle of the arctic wilderness with a hunting knife and no modern medical care… But there are some beautiful papers out there about how amputation being so ancient (31 000 years ago) proved that caring for our ill was very much a way of life even back then. Anyway, according to Myhealth.Alberta.ca, a below the knee amputation would take up to 4  to 8 weeks to be able to return to work with modern care… it took Mr. Blanky a measly 2 weeks of recovery before he could walk the half mile between Terror and Erebus after his own amputation and damn, if this is not the proof that Mr. Blanky was the GOAT. 

Mr. Blanky also had the advantage of being cared for by a doctor (although, 19th century Doctor…), which Crozier does not. Based on this, I will accept that it would be reasonable for Crozier, who lives in the same world of superhumans as Thomas Blanky, might have needed the full 4 weeks to recover. At least.

We also know from our analysis of some hair growth for episode 9 that it takes 1 month to grow half an inch of beard. Honestly, I’d say this looks like at least 1 month and a half growth…

Also, to find out the approximate date, Crozier tell us that it’s “too late” to be this far North. No doubt he means that they are most certainly veering into the colder months and that he knows that if they would need to reach the Netsilik winter camp soon. It’s definitely not August anymore.

Finally, we know that the endgame is, I assume, Starvation Cove (See location 25). Starvation Cove, we know, 

I am going a little bit ahead of myself, I know, but I feel this is important to establish the timeline because Starvation Cove is a known location, I do not need to guess where it is. I can already calculate that it is, when taking the probably path the survivors took (based on the 1927 admiralty map), 50 miles away from the Hospital Camp.

We established, at the end of part 2, that the speed they would have gone at would have been about 1 mile per day. Maybe after dropping the desks and so many tents (there was only one boat in Little’s last camp), they could have gained a little bit of speed. Let’s say 1.5 miles per day. This would mean that if they were going at their best pace, they could have reached Starvation Cove in a month.

And, then, they would have had to stop, too exhausted to move on,and they would have known hunger enough to resort to the last ressource…

I also want to point out that there is a fine layer of snow on the tents and the crates when Crozier reaches it. And there is frost on Poor Lt. Little’s face. So, here is the thing about snow: it melts when exposed to the sun at near freezing temperature, if it had fallen on surfaces that will absorb heat. In order for the frost to have remained on Edward’s face and for the barrels to be frost and snow covered (lightly), my canadian nose tells the temperature may have been closer to 23F (-5C)  than at freezing (32F or 0C). Which would be average for the beginning of October (according to timeanddate.com) rather than September.

I think I will accept that even though Blanky, bless his face, recovered from an amputation in 2 weeks, it could have taken Crozier 6 or 7 weeks and based on the time one would need to travel to Starvation Cove (probably 1 week for Crozier and Silna if we account for Crozier’s recovering speed I would like to established at 10 miles per day and also accounting for the fact that he looked MUCH improved by the time they reached Starvation Cove, which requires time) and between 30 to 40 days for Little, this would be the right timeframe for the travel and starvation to occur...

This would date Crozier and Silna’s departure from the Mutineer’s Camp around October 2nd 

And now, Crozier and Silna gets on their way to the next stop:

Location 17 - Hospital Camp (68.68, -97.74)

Date: October 2nd 1848

Nighttime - 6h 20 min

Daylight - 10h 58 min

Twilight - 6 h42 min

Sunrise: 6:50 am, Sunset: 5:47 pm

The hospital camp being, as established, 6 miles from the Mutineer camps, they would have made it there on the first day. And probably around noon if they had started to walk at first light. Crozier would have been slower than Silna and may have been able to walk only 10 to 15 miles per day. For the first couple of days, I expect that he could have walked closer to 10 miles than 15. I also would like to think that he would have taken the time to bury Jopson, making him the Gladman Point Skeleton (NdLe-16)

Location 22 - Tulloch Point (68.56, -97.09) (Not shown in show)

(Crozier)

Date: October 5th 1848

Nighttime - 6h 44 min

Daylight - 10h 41 min

Twilight - 6 h35 min

Sunrise: 6:54am, Sunset: 5:27 pm

(Lt Little)

Date: August 30th 1848

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 15h 22 min

Twilight - 8 h38 min

Sunrise: 4:46 am, Sunset: 8:08 pm

On their way to Starvation Cove, they would have had to cross Douglas Bay, a 3 miles wide little bay near the southern part of KWI.  It’s 26 miles from the Mutineers Camp (Which Crozier departed on October 2nd) and 20 miles from the Hospital Camp (Which Lt. Little departed on August 16th)

At a recovering pace of 10 miles per day for Crozier/Silna, they would have reached Douglas Bay at the end of their 3rd day of walking and I suspect that even though they sitll had some miles in them, they would have started fresh the next morning to cross the bay (Oct 6th).

At an average pace of 1.5 miles a day, Little and Le Vesconte would have reached Douglas Bay in 14 days and probably would have waited until the beginning of the 15th day to cross.

Location 23 - The Library (68.48, -96.58)

(Crozier)

Date: October 9th 1848

Nighttime - 7h 32 min

Daylight - 10h 01 min

Twilight - 6 h 27 min

Sunrise: 7:11 am, Sunset: 5:13 pm

(Lt Little)

Date: september 9th 1848

Nighttime - None

Daylight - 14h 00 min

Twilight - 10  h 00 min

Sunrise: 5:19 am, Sunset: 7:19 pm

This is the place where Little and Le Vesconte dropped all the books, what looks to be a desk and 2 side tables? (one would think that they’d have left that behind before Jopson :( )

I think that at this point they are getting much closer to the southernmost point of KWI, Booth Point. For 2 reasons: 1- Crozier seems to have recovered enough to be walking straight and without much difficulty and with enough strength to help pull Silna’s sled and 2- You can see they are close to the strait, like, right next to it. Which means that they would have been making ready to cross, which could be the reason why this is where they abandoned all the non essentials. If Little and Co crossed in mid-september, as the timeline I supposed when discussing Crozier’s recovery would lead me to believe, they would have crossed on thin ice, making it more necessary than ever to lighten the load. And because I started this journey to figure out how to reconcile the show with the locations of where relics were found, I think I would like this to be quite near River Piffer… you know… not too far from where they would have buried Le Vesconte… And we have for location 23 (68.48, -96.58)

I think Le Vesconte and Little would have rushed to cross Douglas Bay as to not be on ice when it is not cold enough yet to assure them it wouldn’t crack under their weight. They would probably have pushed to cross on the same day, making it a whooping 3 miles in one day. This would certainly have exhausted the men, bringing them closer to their demise. They would cross on August 31st, and start again on September 1st for the remaining 10 miles until location 23, probably at a slightly slower pace of 1.25 miles a day and reached the Library on September 9th.

TO BE NOTED: since 2009, the skeleton found and believed to be Le Vesconte by C.F. Halls in 1869 has been reidentified as Harry Goodsir. But! Well! You know!

Location 24 - Todd island (68.44, -96.29) (Not shown in show)

(Crozier)

Date: October 9th 1848

Nighttime - 7h 33 min

Daylight - 10h 01 min

Twilight - 6 h26 min

Sunrise: 7;10 am, Sunset: 5:12 pm

(Lt Little)

Date: September 14th 1848

Nighttime - 1h 22 min

Daylight - 13h 20 min

Twilight - 9 h18 min

Sunrise: 5:37 am, Sunset: 6:57 pm

The Route to Starvation Cove: I am still going to take from the 1927’s admiralty map there and accept that they crossed the Simpson Strait near Todd Island. One of the reason why I would agree with it is because their goal was to get to Back Fish River. Upon reaching Booth Pt, they might have realised that, well, that’s it. That’s the end of KWI. There is no land bridge connecting it to the Adelaide Peninsula. At that point, they had to cross but, before that? Well, they maybe had a chance that they could have kept pulling their sledge on firm ground and not attempt what might have been a frozen strait or a dangerous trek on unstable ice, especially in september. They would have attempted to cross at the nearest point possible from the river they were trying to get to. So, instead of simply crossing at the narrowest part of the Simpson Strait, they kept on going until they were facing Todd Island

Todd Island is 7.5 miles from the Library.

If we say that unloading their boat made the pace easier and back at 1.5 miles per day, then, Little would have reached this point in 5 days on September 14th and Crozier and Silna on the same day as they reached the Library, October 9th.

Location 25 - Starvation Cove (68.24, -96.59)

(Lt Little)

Date: September 28th 1848

Nighttime - 5h 46 min

Daylight - 11h 29 min

Twilight - 6 h45 min

Sunrise: 6:31 am, Sunset: 6:00 pm

(Crozier)

Date: October 10th 1848

Nighttime - 7h 44 min

Daylight - 9h 55 min

Twilight - 6 h21 min

Sunrise: 7;14am, Sunset: 5:09 pm

We know where this is :(

The thing about Starvation cove is that if we accept that Franklin’s men crossed at Todd Island, they would have been going SW when they should have been going SE to reach Back Fish River.

I would like to suggest that upon knowing that they would have to cross a large expense of ice in mid september ( which could have been potentially perilous as the ice was probably made fragile by the summer and it was not cold enough yet to secure the way), they… simply chose to go toward the point of land they could see. Which was this cute little point. From there, they followed its coast until their last stand.

Now, more daunting than anything, this is a monstrous 9 miles to cross. For Lt. Little and his unfortunate companions who I’ve recently reduced to a pace of 1.5 miles a day, this would have meant they needed 6 days to cross at that pace! I think they would have deemed it too dangerous and would have pushed, same as they did for Douglas Bay and made it 2.5 miles a day (crossing in 4 days - Sept 18). Once again, this would have taken from their reserves all their reserves and they would have slowed down to 1.2 miles a day until they reached Starvation cove, 7 miles away from their initial landing on the Adelaide Peninsula. From Todd Island to their last resting place, they would have walked another 10 days. It is September 28th 1848 and they have been hauling the boats for 5 months. They total mileage would have been between 150 and 170 miles with my proposed route from Terror Camp to Starvation cove.

Crozier and Silna would have been able to cross and reach Starvation Cove in a day, reaching it on October 10th, 12 days after Lt. Little and what was left of the crew.

OTHER LOCATIONS

Location 26 - Netsilik Summer Camp (68.66, -95.932)

For this one, I want to believe it is Gjoa Haven.

From Terror Camp, this would have been a 100 miles journey for Silna. If she took her time and made a comfortable 10 miles a day, she would have walked from TC to GH in 10 days or so. 2 weeks. But she probably footed it because it seems like she wanted her people to help, in some capacity, the Frankliners (which prompted the unnamed Netsilik hunter to lecture her on how the white men were disturbing the balance on the island)

Then, from Gjoa Haven to the Mutineer’s camp, it would have been 50 miles. If she had left with the other shaman the day Crozier got ambushed, august 15th (as it seems to be implied by the fact that the scene announcing her travel companion was ready to go being just after Tom Hartnell’s death), she would have made it just in time to save Crozier 3 days later on August 18th by walking 15 to 20 miles a day, which is a moderate pace for a hiker.

So, this coincidence comforts me into thinking that, yes, their summer camp WAS in Gjoa Haven : )

Which is to say, had her journey been continuous, she would have made it to the same destination as the men of Franklin in only 30 days or so...

It took Little 150 days to reach Starvation Cove…

Women are stronger?

Location 27 - Netsilik Winter Camp (???)

I don't even want to attempt this. There are no clues whatsoever as to where they might be. They also deserve a little bit of privacy!

That’s it! That’s the end! We’ve made it, friends! All 10 episodes!

For Part 4, I will attempt to correct the dates I retroactively changed from part 1 to part 2 and then from part 2 to part 3 and package all of this in a neat presentation that would be more digestible than this wall of rambling.

I will take my time to complete part 4 and review everything so I might upload it in a week's time or so, maybe more.

I rushed Part 1 through 3 so that it could get out of my head and you all paid the price for how much rambling there is ;) sorry!

Thank you for reading so far! This was a blast even though I felt like I was losing my mind quite a bit!

[self-spaghettification]

The Mystery of Aaravos The Banter Lodge

So, recently an account called "The Banter Lodge" has popped up. April 30th, to be precise. You've seen it. I've seen it. We've all seen it. On Twitter, posting various images in the TDP official style.

A few nights ago, it debuted on Tumblr as well. "Coming May 2024" all of the promotional images and the website itself say.

Who is this account? Is it fan made, is it official? It's May, when exactly in "May 2024" is it coming?

Well, me and a few friends took some time to try to piece the mystery together, and so -- while it may still be 'coming', only dropping hints, I am here to tell you what I know now!

History

Website Code ( I love computer programming so I took the time to dive into that!)

Purpose

A. History

Who's Running the Banter Lodge?

To know that, first we need to delve into the history of the Twitter account.

Despite these images and site debuting less than a month ago, the account itself was founded way back in 2022, and originally called @BantherLodge, with an H, as it is in the show.

@BantherLodge is no longer available, and while it initially did not seem to be connected to The Banter Lodge, there are several interactions linked to the current one, Banter Lodge without an H.

In fact, here is the same tweets linked to the current (banter) account version.

Now we've established that @'BantherLodge' and @'BanterLodge' the same account with a changed name and identity, here is the most important past interaction:

@‘bantherlodge’ is mentioned here, and they are on this call. that said, WHO IS REALLY BEHIND BANTER LODGE? well based off the tweet, it seems that it’s 6 members of the cast and then 2 guests, @‘thebantherlodge’ and @‘ladytheebug’. But don’t take my word for it. Here, more confirmation:

Another person in the call happened to tweet about it too, this time with labels.

Now let’s take a closer look at these two guests. Sara @‘ladytheebug’ seems to be the one on the right, and by process of elimination, on the left is ‘bantherlodge’. aka:

Max….

Max the Mystery! ‘Sara’ and ‘Max’ isn’t really enough information to know more along with no connection to other socials so it’s hard to pin down who they are or what connections to previous fandom projects or creative projects in general they might have. However, they are still connected.

Besides the partially deleted various back and forths between these two accounts, this tweet about the Bait screensaver in the background is additional confirmation that this is @‘bantherlodge’ and @‘ladytheebug’: (note use of word ‘our’)

FURTHERMORE:

Said TV embodies this duo: A person who loves Bait (evident from so many of their tweets) and a person who loves the Banther Lodge…

Reminds you of something, doesn’t it?

“but hold on, just because there’s all these coincidences doesn’t mean the account could be passed on to someone else to run this.” Ok, but one last thing. If that was the case, why would they still be following Sara? In fact, it’s the Only person that they’re following besides TDPO?

(and their following has even been recently updated within the last few days as before then it didn’t include Eugene and Boone.) So, in conclusion,

Max of @‘BantherLodge’, and possibly Sara, (with or without TDPO but I’ll get to that later) almost certainly are the people behind the curtain of this Banter Lodge mystery.

Now, about said mystery… what exactly is the trail building up to?

well, to find out more about that, let’s glean what we can from the website.

B. Website Secrets

The website itself is very simple- A background, the image of the Banter House, and some text saying "Coming May 2024." But, beneath the deceptively simple surface, there was more to be found.

On May 1st Caprinae got this from the page. She also tweeted about it, after which the site changed to remove much of the css, including the part about the episodes and subscribe button. I was pretty excited about this as someone with a few years of coding experience, I wanted to mess around in VSC and see what I could find out.

After formatting the code the most noticeable thing is this right?

And when I make an element for it to apply to (since all that code is just formatting for stuff on the page like the title, images, etc, in this case- an audio bar) + adding in an image and an audio file:

We get this

AUDIO and an image. It looks exactly like a podcast episode. It turns out there’s actually a bunch of code for formatting that’s not used in elements in the site (elements that exist: the title or image), but it’s there, so I made some elements it would apply to. technically, it’s supposed to have a parchment paper background too, but I just chose some colors that you could see the text on.

Doing so, we get this!

(Here’s a video version.)

Plus, Original Code and Modified Code if you’re curious

Anyway, so the site (at least at the stage the code was taken from) doesn’t appear to be finished and there was no Java script written (or at least, linked) but there is definitely the makings for a website for a podcast— some sort of nav bar with the episodes, on an episode page, the image and audio, and then a subscribe link at the bottom!

C. Purpose

Time to speculate on the real identity and purpose of the Banter Lodge. So far, we know it used to be called the Banther Lodge. We know it seems to be run by [insert here.] We know it is almost certainly a podcast of some sort. But what, and why?

Here are some possibilites:

1.Official Content to Tide Over Fans Til S6 As we know, to calm the frustration of fans at Netflix/TDP for the delay of S6, the creators have been putting out content every day for the fans to puzzle over and figure out the season six titles.

Based on the current schedule, it’s set to end on May 13.—although it could be ending either May 13 or May 14 (depending when they do the last hint) after these drop, there will likely be a lull in TDP content, which would be the perfect time for the Banter Lodge to launch.

+ The Banter Lodge teaser campaign has already been perfectly timed for when a bunch of fans would be online on Twitter checking in for clues to begin with.

If this is official content, it would doubly make sense—it’d be timed perfectly to tie the fans over until the actual season six campaign starts (ie, trailer). Considering these two fans also somehow got to have a private panel with the cast, it’s not impossible that they’d be working with TDP on this content, additionally the teaser images put out this far have been somewhat reminiscent of TDP official content—ie, Callum’s lodge notebook->Callum’s sketchbook, Refractions->Reflections, Dear Callum letter from Rayla, design style, etc.

However, there is one big reason I don’t think this is the case: it’s a little too sloppy. For example, if they wanted it to be completely anonymous and unclear what was happening, the tweet mentioning @‘BantherLodge’ in the panel would have been deleted and there wouldn’t have been any hints in the code. Of course, these could still just be honest mistakes. However, it also seems like it is building off of the current world in a more derivative, fan-content fashion, not necessarily adding new material the way TDP Official tends to. It’s copying the official style,—but almost too much if that makes sense.

Like altering a shot from the show for a teaser.

x

Don’t get me wrong. I love the way that they’re building off the world, I’m excited to see where it leads, but for whatever reason, to me, it just doesn’t seem official.

So assuming it’s made by fans, what kind of podcast is it? Second possibility—

2. Fan Made Talk Show

This seems like the most obvious conclusion, considering that The Banter House is a play on a location in TDP, and the word banter, which is synonymous with talking, but specifically back and forth, genial interactions.

Maybe it’s dedicated to analyzing the show or a particular aspect,—maybe centric to the lodge, crystals, Bait and Stella—maybe even interviewing cast/crew!

Well, to get a better idea of what niche it might be filling, let’s take a look at what TDP podcasts are already out there.

Hot Brown Morning Potion Podcast [2019-2023] Hosted by Tamika "Kuno" Williams and Hailey from Cartoon Universe. This podcast [is] full of answering fan questions, interviews, theories and all kinds of discussions on everything Dragon Prince.

News from the Breach [2020-2024] Your hosts Ceilidh and Yana are watching The Dragon Prince from start to finish. Each season of the podcast covers one “Book” (or season) of the Netflix series The Dragon Prince. In each episode we discuss two chapters of the series, except for the season finales.

Calm Chaos Club [2023] Join Kevlar and Lou each week as they discuss topics about animation, design, and all things related to The Dragon Prince on Netflix! With special guests brought on for unique topics and insights into the creative process, these bite-sized episodes will ensure you can get your TDP fix in anywhere and anytime.

There’s no harm in another talk show but as there are a few out there already (and for other reasons) I personally think this is not necessarily the niche the banter Lodge is going to fill. I mean, I do think that it’s still possible I mean, it could be centric to particular aspect around the lodge as mentioned.

However, there’s a possibility that excites me a lot more, that I’m hoping for the most….

3.Fan Made Audio Drama in the Saga Setting I have personally always been a huge fan of audio drama podcasts (TMA,TPP,WTNV) and if there was a dragon Prince audio drama podcast, I think I would just die on the spot honestly from joy. I also think it’s most likely because all of the clues so far have been very story/worldbuilding oriented, as well as writings from familiar characters’ perspectives. It seems as though a story is being crafted here, and I am all for it.

Y’know what? While we’re here on the topic of storytelling podcasts, we might as well throw in D&D/TTRPG or even Tales of Xadia as a possibility because yeah sure. Why not? I mean, tabletop role-play games also involve a lot of talking so it would fit the banter theme. Who knows.

That's all! What do you think? Any other thoughts, additions or other speculation? Feel free to add on!

Thanks to @bycaprinae for Twitter screenshots, html, and general inspiration, and to @parroset for other help with the website part and general support!

[lolathestoryteller]

mission (im)possible (April 30th prompt; Rational) @jilymicrofics

Lily shares a quick look with James, both of them now seated at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, facing their son.

Their almost seventeen years old son.

“So…what’s up Snitch?” James asks, and as always, he seems perfectly able to keep his grin on, although Lily knows they both feel uneasy.

In fact, they’d both hardly been able to think of anything other than this moment for the entire day, ever since Harry’s asked them about a chat after dinner.

Now, he looks just as worried as them. Though, Lily would think that that’s hardly possible.

“I’ve got a plan.” he replies his Dad, clasping his hands together on the table. “And…you probably won’t like it.”

Lily purses her lips. She is already sure she won’t like it. “A plan?” she asks, raising her brow. “What for?”

It’s unnecessary really, to ask that, for it could only ever be one thing, yet Lily still hopes it wouldn’t be that.

Anything but that.

James stirs next to her, leaning onto his elbows. “You’re not dropping out, kid, are you?” he jokes, chuckling amusedly—

Until they both see the sinister look on Harry’s face.

James falls quiet at once, glancing over at her before he looks back at their son. “You’re not—“

“I am.” Harry‘s decisive voice cuts James off. “I’m sorry, but I have to.”

Lily can only stare back at him — at the boy, their boy, with way too many burdens, all unjustly placed upon his young shoulders. It’s painfully overwhelming, because she still remembers, like it was yesterday, how he used to be so much smaller. How he’d held onto her hand whilst going out, or asked for bedtime stories and good night cuddles.

Lily’s heart clenches. How fast did the years pass? Spiting any rational thought, she can’t help but wish she could have frozen time, just for a little while.

Because now, she can’t help but mourn for the carefree little boy Harry had been. How could she not? When her son looks so utterly worn and tired these days.

“You don’t have to,” James protests, and Lily can hear the frustration clear in his voice.

She places her hand upon his arm to calm him, whilst her eyes bore intently into Harry‘s. “Why do you think that?” she asks him calmly.

Harry looks away, towards the small kitchen window. “I…can’t tell you.”

James sighs, before he takes Harry‘s hand into his over the table. “Yes, you can. Common Snitch, you know we want to help.” he tries. “Tell us.”

Lily nods her head eagerly. “Your Dad’s right, love.” she adds, taking his other hand. “You can tell us.”

For a moment, when their son‘s green eyes flicker up to look at her and James, he seems so close to tell them — tell them everything that’s been worrying him so much. But it’s too fleeting a moment for Lily to even be sure she hadn’t just imagined it.

“I can’t.” he insists instead, pulling his hands away. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

Lily can see the truly apologetic look in his eyes, though that doesn’t help to ease her worries.

“I promised Dumbledore I wouldn’t.”

Dumbledore?

Lily’s eyes flutter closed for just a second, as she silently curses the man that, although he’d always been a good friend, had more than once now disappointed her.

Even in death, his mysterious plans still seem to be continued, with Harry as their main act — which goes against everything she and James have wanted for their boy.

James’s hand clutches into a fist on the table. “What?” he asks angrily. “Why would he want you to promise him that?”

He’s angry. Lily can tell that he’s so very short of raising his voice. She can understand him for it too, for she feels just as frustrated.

Harry on the other hand remains almost stoically calm. “Because he knew it wouldn’t help if I did,” he explains. “You can’t help me this time.”

And just like that, Lily’s resolve crumbles.

“Don’t say that.” she argues fiercely, her unnaturally pitched tone a clear reflection of her own despair.

“Mum, it’s fine—“ Harry sighs tiredly, as though he’d known this would happen. As though no matter what Lily says, he’d already made up his mind.

“It’s far from fine!” she retorts anyways, fighting best she can the sudden feeling of tears in her eyes. “I don’t care what Albus told you. We can help, and we will.”

Harry opens his mouth to reply, but Lily’s too deeply upset to let him. “You can’t just decide to do this on your own, Harry. I won’t let you. We’re in this together, we’ve always been—“

“We’ve never been in it together!” Harry interrupts, jumping to his feet.

Lily can’t help but flinch, her words dying on her tongue as she stares at him, utterly shocked by his uncharacteristic outburst. She can’t recall him ever reacting like this in her presence before.

“Harry,” James warns. “Don’t talk to your Mum like that.”

But Harry only shoots him a quick look, ignoring his warning, before his blazing eyes lock with her’s once more. “You can’t help me.” he insists. “And you should stop trying to convince yourselves otherwise.”

His words rip Lily’s heart into shreds. Not only because he’d said it with such unwavering conviction, but because deep down, Lily knows he’s right.

It hurts worse than any torture curse ever could.

“Harry!” James exclaims loudly, standing up as well.

“What?” he bites back, but where any other person might see anger, Lily now sees her son‘s very best attempt to steel himself.

It’s better they’d be angry with him, rather than heartbroken, before he’d leave. Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Slowly, she stands up, and without another word, walks around the table until she’s just an arm’s length away from her son. “You don’t have to go.” she says quietly, tears once again filling her eyes. “Please, sweetheart.”

Harry turns away from James to look at her with sad, but unwavering eyes. “Mum—“

“No, please,” Lily repeats quickly, taking hold of his arms. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. You can’t— Dumbledore could be wrong.” she implies, biting her lower lip. “I can’t let you go.”

It’s finally out. Lily can’t let go, not when there’s a chance that she’d never—

“I can’t let you risk your life.” she says fiercely, as she pulls him closer to her, until their foreheads almost touch.

“Like you did?” Harry asks knowingly.

Lily curses her son‘s wit in that moment. “It’s different,” she argues, although she knows that really, it isn’t different at all. “I wanted to protect you—“

“I know.” Harry smiles slightly. “And now, I can finally return the favour.”

[astarioffsimpmain]

Halloween in Waterdeep

Gale Dekarios x F!Reader (called "Tav" once)

Synopsis: Tav thinks Gale's tower might be haunted; Gale has an answer for it. But is it the right one?

Author's Note: Happy Halfway to Halloween, everyone! Since people celebrate "Half-o-ween" anywhere from April 30th through May 2nd, I'll hopefully be posting a few more Halloween themed fics in the coming days! But for now, enjoy this fluffy Gale fic. <3

*Extra Info: Some of this fic is stretched a little beyond what is canon, I am aware and did it on purpose to suit my idea. However, what I did research for canon-alignment purposes is that Faerunian "October' is commonly known as Leaffall, and the holiday at the end of Leaffall is called Liar's Night, which is essentially Faerunian Halloween, or Samhain. It's on the 30th day of Leaffall and it's common to dress up in disguises to avoid the attention of the deities known as Leira and Mask.

"Gale, are you certain your tower isn't haunted?" You scrunched your knees up to your chest as you sat in the very center of Gale’s large four poster bed. The wizard was sitting merely feet away at his desk grading papers, but he still seemed too far away for your liking, your earlier experience in the tower while he was away for work still lurking in the shadows of your mind. 

"I'm quite certain, my love. I lived here by myself with only Tara for an entire year and never experienced anything of the… phantasmic nature. That is, unless the spirits of the mice Tara has disposed of in that time have returned for justice." He chuckled to himself, and normally you would chuckle with him, but your fear currently outweighed your humor and you huffed instead. 

Your frustration caught his attention and the pen he was holding went down. He turned to you in his chair and appraised your balled-up position on the bed. You looked so small and helpless, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty for teasing you. Pushing himself up, he made his way to you, the urge to wrap his arms around you and make you feel safe again superseding all of his professor duties for the time being. You came first; you always had, and you always would. 

You reached for him as he climbed up onto the bed, and he gathered you up in his arms, pulling you close to his chest where the marks of the orb still lay in harmless divets and grooves along his skin. The hair that grew there scratched your cheek as you nuzzled into him, and you found comfort in the familiar sensation. 

"Alright. Tell me what happened and we'll see what we can do. If it is a spirit, I know several incantations that will allow us to speak to them and safely move them along. If it's something else, we've fought worse, I'm sure. Yes?" He cupped your cheeks in his warm hands and lifted your face, forcing you to meet his tender eyes. 

You nodded, determination returning to you now that you had the confidence of your fiancé again. "Alright," you began, walking back through the experience in your mind. "I was in the kitchen downstairs making coffee, and I heard a thumping noise behind me. I knew you were at Blackstaff, so naturally, my first guess was Tara, so I called out to her as I turned around, but she wasn't there. I looked all around the kitchen for her but she was nowhere to be found. Finally, I found her in your study, curled up asleep. So, I figured it must have been an animal of some sort inside the walls. It happened a few more times when I returned to the kitchen, but I ignored it as best I could in favor of my task. But then, something happened that I simply could not ignore. The spice cabinet door flung open by itself! I was shocked, of course, as none of the windows were open - for the gods' sakes, it's the 26th day of *Leaffall, it's chilly out there. I stared at it in shock, then it closed right back! I cast Detect Magic, as you taught me to do, and came up empty handed. That is not the first odd occurrence that has befallen me, Gale. In the last week alone, there have been numerous times in which I've felt like I'm being watched or heard strange, unexplainable noises in the tower."

Gale shook his head, a smile slowly creeping across his face. "I do believe I know what's going on here." 

"Oh?" You quirked a confused eyebrow at him. 

"In the days leading up to *Liar's Night, some Waterdhavians pull pranks around their houses to confuse the deities of Leira and Mask. They wear wooden necklaces so their magic cannot be detected while they have their fun. Then as you know, on Liar's Night, we all don disguises to keep those deities from showing us any special attention. Well, in the year Tara and I spent alone here, Tara did her best to keep my spirits up in any way she could in that dark time, including pull pranks on me during Leaffall. I suspect she's doing the same to you as a sort of… welcome to the Dekarios family. Let's ask her, shall we?"

You nodded, finding yourself both relieved and irritated at the Tressym for tricking you. Gale led you from your shared room and led you to the study, where Tara was bedded down next to one of Gale’s many bookshelves. "So, Tara." Your fiancé's voice was deceptively casual, but you heard - and you were certain Tara did too - the undercurrent of annoyance laced in his tone. "Playing pranks on my fiancée for Leaffall, hm? You truly startled her, my friend, and I do hope you will apologize."

"Mr. Dekarios," Tara tried to interject, but Gale continued without pause.

"By all the gods, she thought the tower was haunted!"

"Mr. Dekarios…" another failed attempt. 

"I very much want my wonderful fiancée to feel safe in her new home, and-"

"Mr. Dekarios, for heaven's sake it wasn't me!" the tressym screeched and flapped her wings indignantly. Gale, at last, halted in his tracks and furrowed his eyebrows, the creases on his forehead deepening in displeasure. 

"Tara, are you being totally honest with me?" He said, his voice stern, and you stepped up behind him, laying a hand on his tense shoulder. He breathed out slowly, relaxing under your touch. "I apologize, Tara, Tav." He nodded to both of you in turn, then fully turned to you, taking your hands in his own. "I just- I can't stand the thought of you not feeling safe here with me. So, Tara, please, if it was you, just tell m-"

Thud

All three heads whipped around suddenly as a loud, clear thudding sound came from the wall of the study behind them. "Gods above, what kind of anim-"

Thud Thud 

"Gale-"

Thud Thud Thud 

"Mr. Dekarios-!" 

BANG!

Books flew off the bookshelves and piled unceremoniously into the floor as the wall cracked open with a blinding light for several seconds before a woman was revealed standing in the study with them. The crack of light closed as though it had never been there in the first place, and the woman, giggling gleefully, cast a spell to return the books to their rightful places. You took glances between the strange woman and Gale, whose jaw had fallen slack. But after several seconds of uncharacteristic silence, all was revealed.

"Mother?!" 

.

.

.

fin

Tagging Darlings: @knightofmight01

( If you'd like to be on the taglist for all my writing, please DM or send in an ask! Thank you for supporting me, and Happy Half-o-ween! <3 )

[newtthetranswriter]

He Would Want You To Be Happy

(Art by me, it is also being posted to day over on my main blog)

Summary: Nacht was never a fan of his birthday for obvious reasons. Asta wants to celebrate it and after Yami foils Y/n’s plan to keep it a secret, Y/n needs to comfort and talk some sense into the Shadow mage.

Word count: 4314

Paring: Nacht Faust x Gn! Reader

Warnings: Talk about Morgen's death and Nacht’s self deprecation, talk of smoking and cigarettes, possibly ooc Nacht, possibly grammar or spelling mistakes

A/n: just wanted to say Happy Birthday to Nacht, the moody mage who would love MCR if he ever listened to it. Any way If you couldn’t tell this is just something i wrote for Nacht from Black Clovers Birthday. It’s a little angsty and a little fluffy, but I hope y’all enjoy. Anyways, have a great day and Remember to hydrate or diedrate. (we wouldn’t want y’all ending up like Morgen now would we.)

    I’ve known for a long time that Nacht hates his birthday, and like every year before now I was planning to ignore it like I agreed when I first heard his reason for not liking it. Sadly it seemed that not all of the Bulls were aware of Nacht’s past and well Asta being Asta, started pestering me about when the Vice Captain’s birthday was. I had tried to just focus on going on missions and ignoring the young man, but damn is he persistent. His pestering lasted from the moment I left mine and Nacht’s room in the morning to when I went back to bed, of course he wouldn’t pester me when the Shadow mage was around but it was near non-stop.

    All of this led to now. It’s two days before Nacht’s birthday, and all I wanted was for Asta to get hung up on something else. I was sitting in the dining hall just enjoying my breakfast with the rest of the squad, minus Nacht as he was off doing who knows what, when Asta rushed into the room. Trying to hide my groan, I tried to focus on my food.

    “Oh, Y/n you’re still here. Now, please tell me?” He said vaguely, knowing I already knew what he was asking of me. His vague question caught the interest of everyone else in the room. The whole squad quickly turned to look at me, curious to what the magicless boy wanted.

    I sighed before responding as quickly and with as little information as possible. “Asta, I’ve told you a thousand times already, it’s not happening.” Ignoring the looks of my squadmates I continued eating.

    I felt as Asta moved closer to where I sat, clearly trying to catch my gaze and attempting to persuade me with puppy dog eyes. “Come on, Y/n. You’re the only person here who would know, please?” Like clockwork, Asta was back to begging. “Ooooo what if I promise to do all your chores for a month?” And now he’s one to poorly thought out bribery.

    Apparently Asta’s poor offer finally piqued Yami’s interest. “Hey kid, you already do all the chores around here. And what are you asking them? From the sounds of it they’ve told you no quite a few times.” Yami spoke, pulling Asta’s attention away from me.

    Like an alarm went off in his empty head, Asta quickly spoke. “I just realized you probably know the answer to my question too.” He quickly moved to be standing next to where Yami sat. The Captain raised his eyebrow as if prompting the boy to go on. “Well I was wondering when is Vice Captain Nacht’s birthday? I’ve been asking Y/n because their his partner and I figured they’d know it but they refuse to tell me anything about it. And just now I remembered that you have known the Vice Captain for a long time.” Asta rambled on.

    Yami let out a laugh before responding. “Nacht’s birthday is April 30th, but why do you want to know?” The Captain answered without even acknowledging my signals to shut up.

    “That’s in two days!! Anyway I wanted to know so we could do something to celebrate his first birthday back in the Clover Kingdom and with the Squad.” Asta explained.

    “I don’t think that’s a great idea Asta. There’s a reason -” I tried to explain before Yami cut me off. 

    “That’s a great idea. Go for it kid.” The Captain encouraged with a laugh as Charmy, Vanessa and Gordon started offering ideas on what the party should be about.

    While the majority of the squad was excited to have a party, whether they cared about the reason or not, I quickly left the table. Hoping to find a way for Nacht to not have to deal with the rambunctious squad on a day he normally likes to be left alone on. Before I could get very far Yami stopped me. “Come on Y/n, you know Nacht needs to loosen up a bit, and a birthday party is perfect.” 

   “You know that’s not what will happen, you also know why I wouldn’t tell Asta in the first place. Now if you’ll excuse me I have things I have to do.” I said in a rather aggressive whisper. It’s true that Nacht could stand to lighten up, but something just feels wrong about all this. Especially Yami encouraging it, he knows what Morgen’s death did to Nacht. Trying not to focus too much on what I was going to do two days from now, I started to get ready for the rest of the day.

   Luckily by the time Nacht returned to the base that night everyone had stopped talking about the surprise party they were planning. Unfortunately, Nacht is a very perspective person and quickly picked up on the fact that something was off. Being the only person he truly trusted, he quickly approached me. “What happened while I was out?” He asked voice never changing from his normal level tone.

   I took a moment to finalize my thoughts on what was being planned by our insane squadmates. “Nothing much, just Luck stole some of Magna’s food again and the resulting ‘fight’ has left everyone tired.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Luck did steal Magna’s food again and the fight lasted most of the afternoon leaving everyone annoyed with the duo. Even though Nacht was well aware of the chaos the two caused, it was clear from the way he squinted his eyes at me that he didn’t fully believe what I was saying. 

  “Okay, let’s head to bed. If everyone is finally this quiet we may actually be able to sleep a decent amount tonight.” I let out a sigh of relief accepting the hand he offered, glad that he wasn’t going to press further on the subject.

Time skip to April 30th

  I had accepted that no matter what I did, Nacht would have to deal with what the rest of the squad had planned. If he gets upset about it then so be it, I tried to prevent it and even warned Yami that it was a bad Idea and he knew it. I just hope Nacht believes that I did in fact try to stop it. Okay and maybe there is a part of me that hopes he is okay with it and actually has a good time.

  Anyway the morning was the same as always, except for Yami making Nacht stay at the base because he had a so-called ‘emergency captain’s meeting’ to attend and wanted Nacht to make sure no one blew up the base. With the fact that Nacht was forced to stay back at the base, breakfast was quieter than it normally is. Most of the squad tried to hide their plans for the evening and the others had already left the base to get what supplies they had been trusted to get.

  The rest of the day was pretty much the same, everyone quietly trying to bring in food or decorations for the planned party without disturbing the Vice Captain. Which was admittedly harder said than done as Nacht decided he was going to sit in the living room of the base reading and occasionally chatting with Gimodelo. You might also be wondering what I was doing during this time, and well the answer is simple. I’ve been trying to make sure neither Nacht or his Devil actually figure out what's happening before everything is ready, while also trying to act normal.

   Turns out I’m not the best actor, as just after Vanessa walked through with yet another crate of booze, Nacht decided to speak up. “I know what you’re doing and I’m not participating in any of it.” I just looked at him shocked. “Don’t try and hide it. I sent Plumede to check on things here the other day while I was out and they informed me that the others plan on throwing a party.” He explained, voice never changing from its normal tone. 

   I took a moment to think of how to respond, finally deciding to stick with my original plan for when he found out. “I tried to tell them it was a bad idea, but you know how Yami is. He likes to mess with you and I bet him encouraging Asta and the rest to go through with a big party is just another one of his plans to get under your skin.” I started to explain, expecting a sigh or comment about how much he dislikes Yami, but when I looked back at him, he was frozen. His face mostly still showed no emotion but his eyes were slightly wide, like he just remembered something important. “Nacht? Are you okay? I am truly sorry I know how difficult today can be for you. I really did try to keep Asta from finding out but again Yami likes to cause trouble and he wouldn’t listen to me.”

  It was silent for a few moments before Nacht stood up and turned towards the door. However before he could reach it, Asta busted through the door. “Oh, Vice Captain, I was just coming to get you. I also wanted to say Happy birthday.” Asta spoke, not receiving any response from the quiet mage, who just kept walking to the door. “Uh Y/n, is everything okay with the Vice captain?” Asta asked as he watched Nacht leave, not even bothering to acknowledge his squadmates trying to get his attention.

  “No Asta, nothings okay. This is why I didn’t want to tell you his birthday.” I said quickly before going after Nacht. “Nacht wait a second please. Talk to me.” I called after the tall man, unfortunately it seemed he was unreachable at the moment. As I finally made it out of the hideout about to reach out for him, Nacht used his magic to slip into the shadows and disappear. Dropping my extended arm, I stayed in my spot for a moment just staring at the shadow my boyfriend had used as an escape route.

  My thoughts were interrupted by the rest of the squad coming to find out where Nacht had run off too. “Is everything alright? The Vice captain looked upset.” It was Finral who spoke first. His question was followed by a chorus of ‘is he okay?’s and ‘what happened?’s .

  I sighed before deciding it was probably best to just explain what I know. “First, I don’t know if everything is alright, I’ve never seen Nacht like that. Second, what happened was Asta pushing to find out Nacht’s birthday after being told to drop it multiple times.” My voice was a bit harsher than intended but I was worried that Nacht wasn’t going to come back.

  When I turned to the group I could tell everyone was confused, well almost everyone. Noelle on the other hand decided to voice her thoughts on the matter. “So, what you’re saying is that Nacht stormed off because Asta found out about his birthday? That’s just dumb, what’s the big deal? People who care about him want to celebrate him so he should be happy.” While her statement was harsh it was reasonable.

  “It’s not the fact that people want to celebrate his birthday. It’s the fact that it’s his birthday.” I started to explain. “He’s never liked his birthday, when he was younger it was because he would constantly be compared to his younger twin. But around two years before I met him, his brother died and now his birthday just serves as a reminder of what he lost. When we met and I asked about his birthday, he made it clear that he doesn’t celebrate it or want to acknowledge it in any way. I agreed and that’s why I didn't want to tell Asta, I didn’t want him to make a big show and upset Nacht. But fucking Yami had to open his dumb mouth and try and cause trouble.” I rambled out, trying to explain why Nacht was upset.

  I watched as most of the squad nodded in understanding, with a few mumbles of ‘sorry’s. Once again Noelle decided to speak up more than the rest. “Okay he lost his brother, but wouldn’t his brother want him to be happy with friends instead of alone brooding somewhere?” Again valid point.

  Sighing, I responded to the royal. “While I agree with you on that, Nacht has never been the kind to think like that. He’s pessimistic, and it’s hard to get through to him on things like this. Anyway, you all enjoy the food and stuff you prepared. I'm going to wait for Nacht to get back.” WIth that I headed inside, leaving the rest of the Bulls outside with the barbeques they had set up in front of the base.

  At around 8pm, the doors to the base opened. Hearing the creak I sat up straight hoping it was Nacht, but unfortunately I was greeted by the distinct mana of Yami. I groaned before going back to waiting in silence. Sadly Yami had other plans. “You know you should go talk to him.”He said, voice gruff as always but with a hint of concern for his old friend.

  “Why do you care? You’re the one who told everyone his birthday and said he just needs to loosen up.” I said, giving him a glare before looking back to where my hands rested in my lap. “Besides, where would I even look for him?” I said quietly.

   I heard Yami huff as he sat next to me on the couch. “I’d bet he’s probably in the same place I found him on the first birthday after Morgen’s death.” I turned slightly, raising a brow at him. “I’m trying to say he went to sit and wallow at Morgen’s grave. It’s where I found him multiple times before he met you.” Yami explained. “Also, the idiots told me what you said about me wanting to cause trouble for Nacht, and while it’s not entirely a lie, I just wanted Nacht to realize he can finally be happy.” With that Yami stood up leaving me to think on what he said.

  Deciding that both Yami and Noelle had a point. Nacht does need to realize that it’s okay to be happy and enjoy his birthday with the people who care about him. After thinking about what I was going to say, I left to go get my boyfriend and hopefully talk some sense into him.

  I had visited Morgen’s grave before so I knew exactly where to go, and after my conversation with Yami it was no surprise to see the cloaked figure sitting near the headstone. What was a surprise though was the distinct smell of cigarettes wafting from the shadow mage. Before I could say anything I heard the sound of Gimodelo talking, and decided to listen for a moment.

  “Mister Nacht, why are you out here alone? Y/n is probably worried after you left without a word.” The small imp said to his friend. While Gimodelo doesn't like most people other than Nacht himself, he’s always been kind to me so it was no surprise he was worried about my feelings on the situation. “Also when did you start smoking again? Y/n won’t like that.”

  “Be quite Gimodelo, Y/n won’t mind because Y/n won’t know. Now buzz off.” With the command to buzz off the imp disappeared. I should have been upset by the wording but all I could focus on was how broken his voice sounded.

  Deciding Nacht had enough time to brood alone, I moved to stand next to his sitting form. “You know, if you really are smoking again you’re going to start smelling like Yami and neither of us want that.” I said hoping to lighten his mood even if only a little bit.

  Instead of responding Nacht just kept staring at the headstone in front of him. “Nacht, It’s okay to be sad and miss Morgen. But you can’t just storm off because your friends want to celebrate your birthday.” I started. “I’m sorry they found out about it, but after talking with everyone I realized something and you need to realize it too. Morgen would want you to be happy and have fun, not spend your birthday alone and upset.” As I spoke I lowered myself to the ground, quickly grabbing the pack of cigarettes from the ground beside him and stuffing it in my pocket so he couldn’t light another.

  I had expected him to say something along the lines of being fine with ignoring his birthday, but what he actually said surprised me. “I forgot it was my birthday.” Hearing that I looked at him confused. “I spent so long in the Spade Kingdom focused on stopping the Dark Triad that I never noticed my birthday had passed. When I figured out everyone was setting up for a party, I thought it was one of Yami’s usual plans to make me bond with the group, but then you mentioned it being for my birthday and it all rushed back.” It was no secret that Nacht spent years trying to help the neighboring country but I had no idea he was focused enough to forget his least favorite day of the year. 

  “I trust that you tried to keep Asta from finding out and that it was Yami’s doing, so don’t think I’m upset with you. I’m more upset with myself. It’s my fault Morgen had so many birthdays ripped from him. It should have been me, I should be the one buried under this stone, not him.” Nacht had voiced how much he blames himself for Morgen’s death many times before, and each time it was the same. “Morgen would be so much better at this and he would have been better for you.” Okay, blaming himself and wishing he was dead is nothing new, but suggesting Morgen to be a better choice for me is completely different from past conversations on the topic.

  Before Nacht could continue, I decided I had enough. “Nacht Faust, I have heard all of this from you before, and each time I’ve told you the same thing. It’s not your fault your family led you down a questionable path, and it’s not your fault Morgen stepped in to stop you. Suggesting Morgen would have handled your death better than you are handling his a decade later is bullshit. I may not have met Morgen but if he was as caring and kind as you and Yami have told me, he would probably be doing exactly what you’re doing right now. And as for saying he would be better for me, that’s a lie. I fell in love with you. I love how you’re blunt and don’t let others' emotions affect you, I love how even though you act like you hate the Black Bulls, you still stick with us. I love how you put your own life on pause to prevent Psychopaths in another country from destroying the world. I love you for you, so stop putting yourself down over something that happened in the past and think about all the good you have done since then.” I rambled on, hoping to get my point across.

  “Like I said before, you have people here now who care about you and want to take the day to celebrate you. You should be happy and having fun. Again I may not have known him but Morgen loved you enough not to tell the rest of the Magic Knights at the time about your devils and instead risked his life to save yours. Morgen would have wanted you to enjoy each day and I bet he would have been overjoyed to hear you found people who love and accept you.” I finished leaning my head on his shoulder. The whole time I spoke to him, his eyes were set on the gravestone in front of him, but it was clear from the way his shoulders relaxed and the sigh he let out that he listened and understood.

  We sat like that for a while, just sitting in silence thinking. It was Nacht who broke the silence first. “Thank you. I know I can be difficult to deal with. And I’m sorry for just walking out and not talking to you. Also you’re right, Morgen would have been overjoyed that I found you, and the Bulls even if I hate to admit it.” It was strange hearing him admit that he found some where he belonged, but I couldn’t hold back the smile.

   “Okay so now that you’re done wallowing, how about we head back to the hideout and hope that Charmy and Asta haven’t eaten all the food.” I said, raising my head looking at him. He turned and gave a gentle smile with a nod. “Good let’s go. Also be ready to come back here with me tomorrow.” I informed him as we stood up, earning a confused look from the shadow mage. “Every year on May 1st I bring Morgen flowers for his birthday.” I explained watching as Nacht’s face went from confusion to shock to thankfulness.

   “Thank you.” Was all he said before taking my hand, and activating his magic to transport us back to base.

   When we arrived it was clear the rest of the Bulls were still enjoying the food and free time Yami had given them for the evening. Our arrival didn’t go unnoticed, because as soon as we emerged from the shadows Asta basically bounced over to us. “Vice Captain Nacht, I’m sorry I upset you and didn’t listen to Y/n when they told me no.” Asta apologized quickly.

   Before Asta could start rambling too much, Nacht silenced him by simply raising his hand at the boy. “It’s okay Asta. I just need to come to terms with a few things and Y/n helped me with that. Now if there’s any left I would like to eat and possibly chat with you all.” Nacht explained to the boy, but directed the last sentence to the rest of the Squad who were watching the conversation.

   It was clear everyone was stunned by Nacht saying he would like to actually join them. Unsurprisingly Vanessa was the first of the group to speak up. “Of course Vice Captain, how about you start off with a nice drink?” She said slinging her hand over her shoulder waving a beer in Nacht’s face. Seeing Vanessa offer Nacht a drink everyone else started to approach him. Offering food, asking to talk with him, or in Luck’s case asking to fight him.

  As the night progressed it was nice to watch as Nacht relaxed and actually spent time with the Black Bulls. It was clear that he had finally accepted that this was his family and that they would always have each other's backs.

  “You know I don’t think I’ve seen him smile this much since before I joined the Magic Knights.”It was Yami who walked up beside me.

  I smiled as I reached into my pocket handing him the pack of cigarettes I had taken from Nacht earlier in the night. “Before you ask, no I didn’t buy them for you, our dear self deprecating friend over there had them when I found him. I figured it’s probably best to give them to you so he doesn’t fall all the way back into that habit, and I know you won’t let the money go to waste.” Yami was about to respond when Nacht joined us, wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me to his side. “Nuh uh, I was nice earlier because you were upset but now that you’re functioning like a person again Imma make this clear. One no hugs, cuddles or kisses until you have bathed at least twice to remove the smell of the five cigarettes you smoked from your person. Two If I ever catch you with one again I’ll make sure cigarettes are the thing that kills you, as I’ll stuff the whole pack, wrapper and all down your throat.” I said pushing the mage away, and going to join Vanessa in trying to get Zora and Grey to stop hiding in corners.

  As I walked away from the Captains I could hear Yami cackling as he slapped Nacht in the back. “You messed up buying these, didn’t you buddy?” The Captain of the Black Bulls laugh could be heard for miles as he watched Nacht’s face go from shock at my comment to murderous intent at Yami’s.

  Turning to the boy’s one last time, triggering yet another laughing fit from the dark magic user, I made one final comment. “You also owe Gimodelo an apology for telling him to buzz off.” With that I turned to start dragging a cowering Grey from under one of the tables set up outside.

  By the time everyone called it a night, it was nearly 2am. As me and Nacht got ready to settle in for the night, I couldn’t help but smile, earning a quizzical glance from the mage sitting in front of me. “I’m just glad to see you relax and get along with everyone.” I said, placing a kiss to the top of his head as I helped brush his freshly washed hair. He just gave a quick nod before relaxing into my touch, having long since expressed how he enjoyed when I brushed his hair saying it helped him relax. After finishing with Nacht’s hair, we both moved to lay down. Sharing brief good nights, we both quickly fell asleep, at peace with our minds and looking forward to facing the future with our large chosen family.

[basil-does-arttt]

hold on wait a second i had a thought

in the DLC prolouge cutscene for DMC 5, when Vergil is in that stone passageway area, he says "its nearly time" (in reference to him splitting himself in half).

We know what day it happens, april 30th. The date is shown in Nero's flashback scene. This is of course assuming Vergil did all that on the same day, which i think is what happened. (He could open a portal to his house to travel, and why would he wait any longer and risk dying first?)

Anyway. Thats not my point, my point is: did he choose to do it on this day on purpose? Is this date special?

Im overanalyzing here so this may be a stretch, but: Could that be the day Eva died? Think about it. Him splitting himself was a "rebirth" of sorts: discarding his humanity to become a full demon in search of ultimate power.

Vergil being stabbed by those demons the day Eva died could also be counted as a kind of rebirthing for him: In the span of a few hours, he lost everything. His family, his life. And maybe even, his full humanity, as he gained his DT form in that moment too (shown by him having the same triggered-style eyes Dante uses when threatening V toward the start, also (half)triggered.) No longer was he a mere human boy, but now half a devil - the things that killed his family - too.

Knowing Vergil, it could make sense. In DMC 3 he's quite proper and a bit sentimental, much more so than Dante and i can see him caring more for these kinds of niche details in his life a lot more than Dante too. I also think he may have still been in that mindset when coming out of the Nelo Angelo body (however that happened), in a way that he hasnt really grown or matured while he was Nelo Angelo due to all the mind-fuckery performed thanks to Mundus.

(Could also be clarification for the reason Vergil still looks so young, quote "because of how much time he's spent in the underworld compared to Dante". He didnt live there, certainly not by choice. But he was captured and tortured by Mundus for 10 years. My thoughts is that he's technically still in his teenage body, as becoming Nelo Angelo and being in the underworld for so long thanks to Mundus halted (or at least very significantly slowed) the aging process. Time could move slower in hell but thats a rant for another time, ive gone off track.)

As such, him choosing such a special (traumatic) date to essential commit suicide on doesnt seem like much of a reach to me. Vergil has always been methodic. He doesn't do things hap-hazardly and never has, even as Nelo Angelo when he invites Dante outside to set up a proper fight rather than just taking the opportunity and attacking in the bedroom.

Of course you can argue it was coincidence, and he just stumbled across Nero by chance and decided to do it right then and there. He had to have found Nero first of all, figured out his plan of attack (probably so he wouldnt draw unwanted attention and possibly be stopped), then actually put it into motion. He couldnt exactly control the date Nero happened to be in the right place at the right time and gave him an opening. Im not trying to convince or anything, just sharing ideas, But wouldn't it just be so in character for april 30th to be a special date for him??

Overall i at least think the reason he chose to do it at the house was intentional for reasons stated above. If it wasnt, then why didn't he just... idk, find an alleyway or something and split himself there?

Those are my thoughts. Id love to hear other people's theories and such on this too.

(EDIT: I REALIZED THE MOMENT HE SPLITS HIMSELF ALSO PROBABLY HAPPENS AT A SPECIFIC TIME AS WELL, NAMELY 6:00 PM.

It mustve taken him some time to get back to the house. Not hours, but not seconds. 15 minutes seems like a good amount of travel time for someone who can teleport using portals alongside a bit of walking. If he got there early he could've just waited too.

A specific date, april 30th, and at (likely) exactly 6:00pm. In VOV while it is black and white, i assume the attack happened late into the evening, since the sky is dark when he gets back to the house a bit later. Idk how he would've known that it was exactly 6:00 but... anyway, Mundus also seems like the type of guy to plan shit, especially an attack like he did to Eva and the twins, if that whole "eva died on april 30th" thing was true.)

[infinite-ticking-clock37]

Help why is Silved mpreg a new thing on this app- like what started this help me

OH BOY how the fuck do I explain this shit

Ok so basically back in very early January I decided to draw Silver Spoon.. but pregnant. AS A JOKE-

Then my gf (@humanaltarr) posted the pic, and a few of my moots on Tumblr saw it, and at first I was like "Welp this is the end of my Tumblr career" and I think just a few hours later one of my moots (@spiritmander13) wrote the first Silver Spoon mpreg fic called "Silver Suffers With Morning Sickness" with 6 chapters (technically 7 but the 7th isn't involved with the story)

Then Silver Spoon mpreg became a big joke mostly on the oscc discord I believe (I joined it for a few days but left) and then for a while it was quiet, until I started an ask blog called @askthe-iii-shipchildren, on April 5th, and on April 30th I got an ask by an anonymous person where they wanted Candelabra to put Silver Spoon in a maid dress, and I ended up drawing Silver in a maid dress

Now here's were the second Silver mpreg era began. I made a joke with Candle saying "If Silver stays in that for much longer Candelabra is gonna have a little sibling soon" cuz I thought it would be funny (had no idea what it would cause)

Then @spiritmander13 reblogged it and said something like "CANDLE NO-" and I replied back saying "Silver Spoon mpreg part 2 /j" AS A JOKE. She told me not to start it again, and I said "Aw shucks" but in the tags of that reblog, I said "Time to draw Silver pregnant in a maid dress" and that's where I messed up since Spiritmander said they were intimidated.

Suddenly, I got tagged in a post by Spiritmander, and it seemed to be a screenshot of them saying "Don't tell Infinite, my sins shall stay hidden until it is the right time (I scrolled for like 20 minutes on their blog to find that fucking hell)

Then I got a little spooked cuz yk it's not everyday shit like this happens. I then screenshotted it and went into her inbox with the screenshot and asked "WHAT IS RHIS, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN" and she replied with another screenshot and it said "*Casually steals Tumblr mutuals fankid for the story*" and that's when I knew what was happening.

Soon, Spiritmander posted another Silver Spoon mpreg fic called "Little Moth"

Then it was a little quiet after that, with me making an occasional joke about it, always ending it with Spirit saying "HEY YOU STARTED IT!"

There is also this whole thing with "Bab Incest" Spirit did but I wasn't involved with that

Later in to May, me, @spiritmander13 and @mxmc13 formed the "Silver Spoon simp trio" cause apparently we all saw each other as friends so why not

Then the (sort of) mpreg era 3 started again. I'll put this part simply and say that me and a few other people on osc Tumblr got asks in our inboxes by "Anon~Chan" that were basically like a shitty Wattpad story but with II characters, and I personally got a Silverloon mpreg thing.. so fun..

And the most recent thing that happened. There was a Two x Jax post, and me, Mc, and Spirit were basically joking more about Silver Spoon mpreg in the reblogs, until Spirit came along and said "Silver Spoon simp trio canceled." And me and Mc were absolutely DEVASTATED and then Spirit said that me and Mc had to write Silver Spoon mpreg as well, for me as punishment for drawing it and confusing the original poster, and for Mc.. dunno..

And that's what's currently happening, I am working on my Silver mpreg and so is @mxmc13 ..

And yeah that's the whole story pretty much, this was a VERY long post and probably not even was the asker really wanted but meh

Anyways I imma end this off with saying.. I do not regret first drawing the Silver Spoon mpreg, since this is all genuinely fun and it even got me some friends on this site (Spiritmander and Mxmx and their great) so yeah =]

(also this is NO hate to anyone mentioned in this, and the fics that Spirit wrote are actually really good so I recommend checking them out)

[visiblenostalgia]

The Future of The Internet: An Intuitive Deep Dive Into The Madness Of Millions

First off: This is gonna be a prediction on such a mass scale. I don't expect anyone to really FULLY pick this up (it is a prediction after all, so it's like throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks). But from what my spirit guides are telling me to do right now, they want me to push this out as far as I can because of the Pluto In Aquarius permanent ingress happens next year. We're all changing for the better and somehow the internet is going to FULLY reflect that. Why am I capitalizing 'fully'? Three of the most mundane planets are influencing this. Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. The icey planets are changing the paradigm soon and it's gonna flip a whole switch on our digital reality. Kind of like a 'whopping us into some sense' type of way. A rough face slap essentially. Or would it be like a baby giraffe who just arrived and has gotta walk on stubbly legs? Who knows. And because of the current state of hateful and aware affairs.... it looks pretty tribal and yet all too liberating at the same time. Without further ado, more below the cut!! ~ <3

HISTORY

Now most aren't really too speculative on where the internet started, but with a little research on hand, there have been speculations that the original basis for the internet and how it was programmed in it's "alpha" form, would be around October 29th, 1969. It was mainly a military owned and insider personnel type thing. Used for the benefit of the government to send messages to its military at a faster rate than normally possible at that time. Doesn't help that if we keep it to the basics of the sun being in scorpio (the personification of what 'underbelly' means), and knowing the ruler of that sign being Pluto (which so happens to be in a mercurial/communicative sign, Virgo), insider communication seems to check out perfectly. Setting the precedent of what's to come.

On closer inspection Pluto sat at the last decan of Virgo. Taurus being its sub-ruler. Which brings its slow-notoriety and slow-growth to the public eye.

Because after over a decade, the internet has its "beta" release because of Xerox's more interactive systems. Networks being more common, has brought more information sharing and an ultimate release for IBM systems. The computer went from a government owned invention, to a technological advancement for business and relaying data on stock prices on January 1st 1983. Very much a business incorporated sign for it to be born in, being Capricorn, we look to its ruler Saturn for extra conformation. Again, more notions of privacy and economy come to the internet. It sits once more in Scorpio. Dealing with the 'underbelly' once again. Taking another chance to look at the ruler of the sign Saturn was sitting in, it brings us to Pluto being in Libra. Which libra does deal with connections and solid foundations among people. Agreements and liability. Saturn's exalted sign as well, don't forget.

So the two (Saturn and Pluto) are in mutual reception. Businesses and powers-that-be are in symbiosis despite neighboring one another. Neutralization of any discomfort (which makes me think of a sextile -- a sextile that isn't a sextile at all (man, ping that to your notes about mutual reception hehe)).

Then, when 1984 came around, the Macintosh released the FatMac. Bringing the computer to the Homefront with a 'computer for the rest of us'. A bit of virtue signaling to the future of where computers were ULTIMATELY headed. We love Apple. God bless the genius of Steve Jobs y'all <3 (besides we'll do a whole bit on this at some point the more I think on that). But to bring the internet to the Homefront, coding had to have improved. Which, once more and finally, do we get to the internet "driving down your neighborhood street". It finally comes home on April 30th 1993. A nearly exact opposite to the "alpha" release we discussed all the way at the beginning of this section. This is where the 1.0 phase of the internet comes in. The World Wide Web ("www"). From personal studies on dates I thought were significant, colored blue like this, this day would particularly stick out to be a very Saturn and Moon dominant day. Jupiter being in third. It brings a structural (Saturnian) and personal (Lunar) backdrop to what's coming down later. HTML was released this year as well. Bringing more of an emphasis on that structure. Setting off more of the creativity in some people. In terms of modality, it was Cardinal heavy. Pioneering and brand new. Plus, because of the newness to this invention and the fact that this IS the 1.0 release, it started a... settling the Oregon trail kind of energy.

I know, the connotations of saying that are very dark, but an analogy is an analogy. We colonized the digital space as a human race. And we still do with the sphere of the STILL current invention of Virtual Reality.... lil food for thought..

Let's backtrack to the nineties once more shall we? I'm not done (cause we're only getting started!)

Geocities

Established and released in November of 1994, this started the wide WIDE reach to have people start their own website. A lot of the energies involved were once again tied to Scorpio. Now beginning to show the Piscean side on top of that. Tying in more creativity and personal-ness to the sites people had made. Capricorn being involved too, enhancing the structure of the internet once again with the infamous release of this digital product.

To make another very similar analogy to American history, the internet has brought a sense of decentralized-ness. Or, if we were going to use a more 'american-historical' term, it was a 'confederation of sites'. No big central power to the way in which it worked. Even if you had search engines. It was all of the people who made them.

To make an astrological connection to this, Saturn (structure and now coding), was in Aquarius. A sign dedicated to the underdog and smaller man. The 'we-the-people' kind of energy that we see now with Pluto in Aquarius in 2024.

God had blessed the United States back then am I right?

Time flies and now we land on the date December 17th 1996. CSS and coding for the 'look' of a website makes itself a lot more accessible and easier for people to grasp. Better yet, it was a tool released for the folks willing to enhance usability and design for their digital experience at the time.

The energies on that date were relatively splashed. Nothing too significant. And with my synesthesia, the one thing that comes to mind when someone says 'splash' is paint and iridescence. Bringing more of that emphasis on the freedom to design and enhance a users experience in the personality of sites that were created. By 1996 though, Pluto has finally reached Sagittarius! GEN Z REIGN SUPREME (despite our never-ending depression we'll get through it though I promise you that)!! Again, igniting that need to bring a sense of adventure. More people start to join the online space. With Saturn at zero Aries by this day (structures in detriment and a new Saturn cycle sadly), there's a theme of freshness and the slates wiped. So, again, more pioneering and newness. Hell. This is where Saturn and Pluto are in trine with one another. And if the powers-that-be externally meet up in harmony like this, oh you know it's gooooooddd.

The golden age of the internet begins.

Although started with water, invert the alchemical triangle to the upright position..... and alchemy begins to take shape. so to say~

GOLDEN AGE - 1999

Alrighty! We made it to the y2k movement pre-2000s. color was all the rage thanks to CSS and HTML makes it much more possible to code ones own sites. The tools continue to evolve and become more advanced. Not to mention the commodified Windows 95 and 98 experience was well underway this year, and Macintosh brought in Mac OS by this point. I mean... do you see this absolutely gorgeous graphics on both of them????

(even though they were rivals, they both had a lovely look to them)

what comes next after these years? 1999 of course! A BIG PROPRIETOR FOR 2.0

Geocities get's acquired by Yahoo! (January 28th 1999): This day was huge with a lot of energies being torn between Taurus and Aquarius (yet, I see the contrasting energies actually quite beneficial to one another). Most of the Taurus comes from the degrees in which some of the planets were situated (using degree theory as a base for this). But the contrast on both has fixed earth and fixed air. Some would say it's because the detached and logical energy of Aquarius doesn't get the slow to grow and traditional ways of life side of Taurus, but I see them coexisting. Like how fog creates the dew in grass on those very revitalizing yet calm 'last days of school' that you may have experienced. Take what resonates as usual. If it doesn't es fine. But it's foggy air, calm winds and the dew sitting on cool crisp grass. It's a good mix. Hell one could say it's Venus and Uranus working together. A wonderful (Venusian) surprise (Uranian) to the collective. Hell it made Geocities far more accessible because of Yahoo being a rising name in the internet search engine space.

HTML 4.01 (December 1999) Maybe it was an attempt to absolve the 'y2k' bug, maybe it wasn't. But what it DID bring, was more unanimity to the eventual structure of the internet. The Taurus-Aquarius energies are still prominent, yet it was slightly different with Jupiter at 25º of Aries. Doubling up on Aries energy since 25º Aries is on an Ariean degree. So, more luck in pioneering more sites for more online adventures. Saturn in particular was in 11º Taurus (in the Aquarian degree) when the released occured this month. Bringing more of that 'stability' aspect to the freedom to code. And then the outer planets were set in Aquarius to Taurus degrees. Except for Pluto..... Sagittarius 10º.... Capricorn degree. This was gonna lead to success either way.

2000's

So, what else? We made it to 2000. And 2.0 was at its time. It brought such big risers like YouTube, Facebook and MySpace this decade. Geocities continues to be used and with that, there was more of an emphasis on respect for what people brought to the online space.

It of course raised the question about living double lives and with the invention of proto-social media, personas slowly begin to fall. Eventually there's more real-life integration and an 'everyone in' type energy because of Pluto in Sagittarius destroyed the boundaries of intercontinental travel with the advent of speaking to someone on the other side of the planet with your PC. Fucking wild shit man.

Soon, the 2010's approach. Windows 8 is soon to release in the next few years

.... it brings us to another component.

2013 - Neocities

The indie web. An alternative to Geocities because it used HTML4.whatever at this point. Evolution is pretty hard to pay attention to when you're tryin' to write a whole thing on the history of how we function on the web; just to prove a point.

Before we go on about the astrology of such, this year also marks a turning point in the internet. I personally see this as the seed for delusion and craze. Social media starts to make our real life selves more noticeable. Sure, it enhanced communication to an even MORE personal level. But, the internet was highly synthetic and had fictional tones. So, the homogenization begins with bringing those same sites who were rising stars in the 2.0 era, into the current state of affairs. They became big conglomerates. Years continue with them starting to implement ad-revenue systems, stock exchange and other such money-power-lucrative systems that the newly ingressed Pluto in Capricorn is willing to expose. By 2019, geocities is completely shut down. Personality has been swiped away in trade of Wix's dull and corporate look.

Back to my point, a secret stem to this internet begins to slowly form. Neocities.

June 28th 2013

Because this site is a major nostalgia revamp, its ultimate goal of replicating and replacing the former private-on-public-server brethren has since reached its goal today. Look to Tumblr and you notice the culture if you throw in the hashtag for it. Most people don't notice since they're too busy protesting thanks to Neptune in Pisces being our current cycle. Yet, when you want to leave the homogenized internet for something a little more personal and free to your own designs, then this would be your ticket. But it's gonna take effort to code a site.

Much like it takes effort to build a home, this release has a slight pull toward more of a water dominant presence. Bringing the full story of privacy and personality full front and center. But, because of the addition of fire in its chart, there's a lot of support for the freedom to adventure out and stand out. So, Fire and Water heavy.

It's best to work in short bursts. But put your ALL into it when you can/do.

NOW

With the advent of Neptune in Aries, Uranus in Gemini, and Pluto in Aquarius being on the precipice of what's to come, I think there'd be point where the homogenization of the internet is going to be too much to bear. I'm not trying to make this an eventual doomscroll, but don't you feel like the internet is kinda..... dying? Do we really need AI? Do we really need Bitcoin? Do we reallyyyy need this or that or anything to digitally exist other than just a little taste of our souls? I see a split (fracture) and a break.

SPLIT

if push comes to shove and we DON'T regulate AI or make it so where it's NOT subscribe able and it's a free service (i.e. we teach people the ways of building these mechanisms and make it easier to do so), then the internet is gonna split.

You'll have social media (the first one in the group), suddenly fall. The toxic nature could start to die down and become less and less significant as we get around to moderating our use. Respect could come back this way, but with the advent of that, it's the responsibility that comes with using the internet. Being careful with what you put out and more needs to teach digital literacy at a younger audience.

Fandom could take a slight hit because of this. Having a full-circle experience of everything I had to know about what it means to be in one, from being banned, blocked to accepted and loved, as well as the arguments over logistical means in a fictional world (which by the way Neptune in Pisces loves to blend reality with the incomprehensible imagination and raw emotions we get). Antiship and Proship wars too. (That's also gonna be something I wish to talk about with my Neptune in Aries predictions) But because of the 'digital literacy' clause and intent of stuff stated above, it'll take a slight hit where fandom may have a more respectful way of saying or doing such and so. Silent blocks, DNI alerts, the usual that we're so encompassed to.

Other than that: Forums or modified forums become the norm as we revert to a more personal and open lifestyle with the digital space. Doxxing and callouts will still happen, yet I feel as a greater disdain and utter repulsion for it could occur. All of this could be known as ADAPTATION for some. Better yet, true RESPECT.

BREAK

If push comes to shove and the internet space begins to get a little too dicey and personal, basically making it more of that TRIBAL sense of finding your people (not to mention it starts to also devolve to where there's cases of subconscious levels of aggression and too many 'what-if's' being thrown around -- i.e. assumptions, accusations and subliminal hate), then something out there or somewhere is gonna completely tear apart the fabric of the internet. For a bleak example: a foreign country hacks into our digital region. Our VPN.

Aries is ruled by Mars. Mars rules knives and seperations. Wars. If Neptune rules over the subconscious over everyone, this could bring about primal actions on a structure like this.

! not to mention that Saturn (code, structure), conjuncts with Neptune (dissolution and dissolving/illusions and spiritual destiny)... and Aries is known for the anger and drive that it has......

we could revert back to a 1.0 like state of mind. Addictions to social media will have huge withdrawals. Attention and clout chasing will get worse outside of that, and it just straight up becomes a crime.

One thing's for certain. We learn a lesson of being careful to not put our personal information out there. .... but that break gives a chance for the proto-web to come back. Hyper-personalization and drive to keep it within chat services like Discord could become even more so the norm or remain as they are. HTML 6 could come out and bringing the retro look with offline capabilities to the public. So as long as we're careful not to once again put our information out there, then that might bring us to once again let the people shine. The key theme with the break is RESTART.

I apologize if it did seem bleak or aggressive. It’s what I channeled and like I said, if you don’t resonate with it, don’t have to worry about it. 🧘✨ my last couple of statements before we close this off with resources, and one is gonna sound a lot like Smokey The Bear.

Care will prevent the destruction of our exchange in ideas and communication. Only YOU can prevent the 'break'. so let's strive for a 'split' alright? ~visiblenostalgia

and then there's something one of my professors had admitted.

"We have more information than ever, but we're more uninformed than ever."

and a small song before I really tie this up.

love you guys <3

RESCOURCES:

[graveyarddirt]

Hagging Out: April [🧹]

Thinking about taking part? Reply to this entry - or send me a DM - and I'll add you to the list of April Hags. 💀

and if you have a favour to request, upon walpurgis night just mention it. -- mephistopheles, 'faust'

WHO: To join this challenge you must 1.) identify as a hag (trans, non-binary, and dude Hags welcome!), and 2.) be 30 years or older. While not mandatory, all former participants have been some flavor of pagan or witch or Christian, so incorporating the challenge into your practice or devotional schedule isn't just tolerated, it's encouraged!

WHAT: This month we're going for a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' theme, with a focus on the rituals, workings, customs, festivities, and/or sabbat spectacles of Witches' Night [aka Walpurgisnacht & Hexennacht], Beltane, May Day, and International Workers' Day.

WHERE: In the convenience of your home! Unless, of course, you want to be a bit extra. Whatever you decide to do, and wherever you decide to do it, be sure to tag your posts with #Hagging Out so fellow crones can follow along. (Over the past few years we've essentially strong-armed everyone else out of the tag and claimed it as our middle-aged Hag fort, LMFAO.)

WHEN: April 30th-May 4th! Participating Hags are encouraged to complete their challenge and write their entry when it suits their schedule, then pick one of the five "open" days - April 30th, May 1st, May 2nd, May 3rd, or May 4th - to post it.

WHY: To consolidate our strengthening crone powers and exchange tips on the best way of covering stubborn greys. And because it's occasionally nice to be social in the comfort of your own home without actually having people over.

HOW: However the eff you want! Planning on getting totally witch-faced at sabbat, or using the evening's abundant vibes to provide some ooomph to a working or project? Tell us about it! Dusting off the broom and brushing through that second skin to get 'em squeaky for Brocken? Building a bonfire? Constructing a maypole or a May garland? Enjoying a special, seasonal meal? We want the deets, yo!

PLAYLIST: A Hagging Out sabbat social needs a sabbat social playlist! If you're participating in this month's challenge comment with a song you'd like to add to our Witches' Night and May Day themed playlist: https://youtube.com/Hagging Out Hexennacht.

...and remember: what happens at Brocken, stays at Brocken. 😈

💀 April Hags: @msgraveyarddirt @lupinelace @moeder-geit @satsekhem @hrusewif @friend-crow @goddess29 @vine-black @goadthings @aircea @stormcrow513 @relikdigitali @coaleyed @wildwood-faun @crazycatsiren @heathird @thedosianexplorer @buddyblanc @casa_de_cadejo @aquatixwitch

[felinedetached]

The April/May 2023 MCSR Cheating Scandal Saga

(or, as much of it that I can explain as of May 3rd, considering we keep getting new info)

So, it all starts back in April of 2019 — 27 April 2019 exactly, when NikocraftHD posted his 3:59 Set Seed Glitchless Peaceful (SSGP) pre-1.9 WR. At 11 million views, it’s one of the most well known speedruns ever, and unquestionably the most well known run of its type. And four years later, on 30 April 2023, Eliotex dropped a video: NikocraftHD spliced his speedruns and nobody noticed.

Two of NikocraftHD’s runs were cheated: the 3:59, and a later 2:49 (26 March 2022). Both had evidence of a cheating method called ‘splicing’, or cutting videos of two attempts together. In this case, he additionally used a recreated world file and a NBT Editor to manually copy the previous world “level.dat” values for getting good End Towers. 

The 2:49′s evidence is, in retrospect, relatively obvious: Nikocraft had placed blocks during his run that should have been visible from spawn, but when he loaded back into spawn after going through the end portal, those blocks weren’t there anymore.

The 3:59 was harder to prove — until Crafterdark noticed something odd about Nikocraft’s hunger bar. If you’ve ever played Minecraft in peaceful, you’ll know that your hunger bar will never deplete. However, there’s two aspects of the hunger bar: the food level, and the saturation level. In peaceful, your saturation level does decrease, and when it reaches 0, your hunger bar starts to ‘bounce’ or ‘jitter’ every 3-ish seconds. Saturation level persists even between dimensions, meaning even when you load into a new dimension, if you have zero saturation, your hunger bar will continue to make that constant movement. 

When Nikocraft enters the end at 2:54, his hunger bar doesn’t start moving again until 3:30. That’s over 30 seconds without the periodical 3-second jitters. In the 2:49, after he enters the end at 1:50, his hunger bar doesn’t start moving again until 2:14 — roughly 23 seconds without movement. That second run, with a 23 second section without movement — the chance of that happening legitimately is 3.9E-34. That’s 0.00000000000000000000000000000000039.

Sources for this section: Eliotex’s video | Cheating Doc | NikocraftHD’s runs (3:59) (2:49)

Cool. So NikocraftHD cheated, twice, but you may be wondering: all of this was uncovered on April 30th. Why is this the April-May cheating scandal?

That would be because ten hours later, at 8am on May 1st for me, a runner who was incredibly popular and well liked at the time, Lide — who is a huge part of MCSR history — admitted to cheating his world records.

Lide got so many people into running. He was the first to use tower strats in a world record, he worked with so many of the legendary runners of that era. I need to emphasise: that this runner cheated, and sees it as a joke, has been heartbreaking for the community. I think Cscuile explained it best:

Sources for this section: Falco’s tweet | Cscuile’s tweet

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the end of it: around the same time, Loth realised something interesting about a 4:41 pre-1.9 SSGP run by bruono1st — who would have had world record if not for NikocraftHD’s cheated 3:59. bruonost’s run also showed evidence of a splice — the hunger bar once again stopped moving after he entered the end. Unfortunately, upon being called out bruono1st privated his run, and we can no longer watch it, but here are the tweets about it: eliotex tweet | poisonousskely tweet 

As of May 3rd, this is all that’s come out in total, but I hope this was an understandable and informative explanation of what’s going on for those curious!