#- to having to learn to wield both a shovel and a baseball bat with the suit on. Maybe she was supposed to be sent to Guest B-

[thebananwithaplan]

Does this imply that the studio also has a location near the smash mansion?

(( So far I did have the Manor to be somewhere Banana had to warp in order to be able to be there. But considering various warps and transportation exist for any world at this point, I would not be surprised if the Mii ended up isekai'd to the wrong location. How?

...Wrong pipe? Warp Star mishap? Taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ))

[racke7]

Weapon summary for writers

So, for a while now I've been thinking about what constitutes as a good “beginner's weapon”.

Obviously, we're excluding firearms and things like crossbows, because for all that it can take years to become skilled at it, it's not uncommon to figure out enough of the basics to be lethal within an hour.

Now, first it must be said that the “usefulness” of any weapon is based entirely around the situation they're used in.

A mace for example is a brilliant way to fight off a heavily armored opponent, but kind of loses a lot of its comparative usefulness when fighting unarmored opponents, as another weapon may be able to chop a limb off instead of just bruising it.

A spear is king on an open battlefield, but largely useless during the boarding-action of a ship at sea.

A shield is extremely useful for a number of reason, but also a massive pain in the ass to carry around for long periods of time if you're not going to be seeing active combat. And armor works much the same.

In other words, context is key to finding out the usefulness of a weapon, and equipping a beginner with an “easy to use” weapon that is useless for the purpose of whatever fighting is going to be occurring is pointless.

So, let's try to sort out a few general rules of thumb.

Swords

Swords are brilliant side-arms, meaning that they're very easy to carry around with you through everyday life. This is also the reason why they're so prominent on the battlefields, because people carry them around as backup weapons, since they won't get in the way.

Swords are rarely above 1,5kg in weight (usually hovering around the 1,1-1,2kg), though depending on the weight-distribution they can feel easier or harder to move (basically, the principle of leverage). The closer the weight-balance is to the hilt of the sword, the easier the sword is to move, however it also loses on “chopping power” because the tip of the blade becomes lighter than the base.

Needless to say, in order to swing a metal-stick around with a single hand does require a certain level of physical fitness. This can be mitigated with bigger grips that allow for two hands, since this gives the wielder more leverage against the weight of the blade. (Please note that rapiers are one-handed swords.)

There are straight swords that are “chopping oriented” and there are curved swords that are “stabbing oriented”, but generally if there's a curve in the blade there's an assumption towards chopping.

In order to properly chop with a sword, the blade needs to align with the direction the cut is aimed in. Basically, you can't cut someone by hitting them with the flat of your blade. However, because a sword is “springy” it's not quite enough to get the blade “kind of in line” with the chop, since it will want to bounce away rather than bite into the enemy. This is the kind of thing a person who works with swords for a long while can still screw up on a regular basis (though, obviously there will be improvements over time).

With this in mind, swords are very easy to bring with you, but depend highly on the skill-level of the individual to use. However, they're not impossible to learn how to use, and they're a moderately effective weapon for both offense and defense. And they're certainly better than nothing.

Bows

Bows are brilliant weapons of death, but they're difficult to aim, and even more difficult to use.

Highly dependent on a very high level of upper-body strength, a bow very much isn't the kind of thing you can pick up over a weekend (an actual combat-bow that is, ones with a smaller draw-weight are entirely possible to learn at least the basics of over a weekend).

A bow's ability to pierce armor largely depends on the draw-weight of the bow and the shape of the arrows. But it also depends on the kind of armor that the enemy is wearing. Plate or mail, what type of mail, etc.

Bows are an extremely effective weapon for hitting someone “over there” without allowing them the opportunity to come “over here”. They're therefore often included with fortifications, whether that be stone walls, hastily erected palisades, or even a spear-wall.

Bows are also very delicate weapons, because they're designed to survive the forces in one specific direction, and anything that interferes with that even a little can easily break it. The string of the bow is also very sensitive to things like moisture, and leaving a bow strung for longer periods of time is very bad, as it would deform both the string and the bow.

Shooting a bow is physically exhausting, easily on par with shoveling snow for several hours, and it will give you the muscles to prove it.

Axes

An axe works by using the momentum of the swing to hit the enemy with a chopping-blow. It's a highly offense-oriented weapon, with basically nothing at all going for it defensively.

It's fairly easy to use, because it can be considered a kind of “advanced club” and humans instinctively understand how to hit people with a club. (This is in fact one of the problems most people have with trying to wield a sword, in that a sword isn't best used when treated like a club.)

However, it has drawbacks in that there's a fairly small edge with which to hit the enemy. This can lead to a powerful chopping-blow being turned into an easily-ignored nuisance when you end up hitting the enemy with the wooden handle instead of the metal edge.

As mentioned before, axes also lack defensive options, to the point where anyone with a sword could likely slice off the unwary person's fingers without too much effort. Which is why axes were used almost exclusively with a shield readily available, which could defend the hand holding the axe and allow the wielder to use their entire reach without worrying too much about overextending.

Because it relies heavily on the momentum of the swing (and isn't constructed as a piece of wobbling metal, but instead as a solid chunk of it), an axe relies a lot less on the importance of edge-alignment than a sword. But it's also likely to be a bit more exhausting to swing around, since the weight-distribution makes it harder to leverage it into a swing.

Maces

Much like axes, maces work by hitting the enemy really hard with a swing. The difference being that they lack the chopping edge, and instead deal “blunt” or “piercing” damage, depending on the shape of the mace.

It has a lot of the same weaknesses that an axe does, but has even less to worry about with edge-alignment than the axe. It does however come with the drawback of not being nearly as focused on having “stopping power”.

Primarily it's designed for a person with armor to hit another person with armor. It has a very “consistent” kind of stopping-power, regardless of how much armor a person is or isn't wearing. But that also makes it compare a lot less favorably to something like a sword or an axe when fighting against unarmored opponents.

Shields

There's a lot of different kinds of shields in existence, everything from tower-shields to tiny bucklers, and they're all useful for very different kinds of situations.

Tower-shields are useful in a formation of pikes, kite-shields and “viking”-shields are useful for pretty much anyone not using a two-handed weapon, and bucklers are very easy to carry around if you happen to get ambushed on the way to the grocers.

Despite the fact that they're defensive things, they can be used offensively. Not just in smacking an enemy with it, but in using the shield to cover the hand that holds the attacking weapon, thus allowing them to “overreach” without actually overreaching. It can also be used to bat aside an enemy weapon and close the distance in order to hit them with your actual offensive weapon.

Daggers

Much like swords, not all daggers are the same. Some are made for stabbing, some are made for cutting, some are made for crafting, and some for decoration.

In general, a dagger designed for stabbing will have a diamond-shaped straight blade and some kind of hilt to keep the hand from slipping onto the blade when the dagger is “stopped” by the enemy's body. This is a very effective design for getting through armor, particularly mail.

A dagger designed for cutting will have a wider and thinner blade, often curving at the tip, and with another curve at the back of the hilt to keep the dagger from slipping out of the hand when swinging it around.

Daggers made for “crafting” can come in a wide variety of different shapes, and daggers made for decoration can come in even more shapes than that. (Note however that a blade with any kind of “irregularities” is going to catch on something the first time you try to use it, and is not unlikely to either sprain your wrist or twist the blade beyond recovery.)

Spears

Spears (halberds, pikes, etc) are the kings of the battlefields, and are especially deadly against cavalry. Best used in massive formations with shields, spears are easy to manufacture and not all that difficult to train a group of “peasants” to use.

Spears are basically useless in close-combat however, and are therefore highly vulnerable to enclosed spaces and enemies that somehow makes it in close despite the wall of spears. (This is why the Roman legions carried a short-sword to go along with it.)

Recommended method for dealing with a spear-formation is probably to retreat over a marshland and then pelt them with rocks as they try to follow you. Basically, they're too dangerous to risk engaging with unless absolutely necessary.

Summary

If you have a character who joins the army as a peasant, give them a spear. And maybe a few lessons in how to use a short-sword.

If you want a “single warrior“ kind of untrained battle-genius or something, give them an axe and a shield (most people of that time would at least be able to chop firewood, and even most people these days can swing a baseball-bat for an hour-or-so before their arms start trying to fall off).

Even if the enemy is so numerous that it’s “impossible to miss“ with a bow and arrow, don’t give a bow to someone who doesn’t know how to use one. They’re more likely to hurt themselves than the enemy.

[zach-the-fox]

Furiends Episode 3: A Bad Idea

The library; a place of splendor and vast knowledge. Everything knowledge-seekers desire are within the fine pages of the books that are stocked neatly and orderly on the shelves, assorted in different types of colors. For many, it is a place of better learning and education. For others, a structure of solitude, housing quietness for those who look to get away from their problems and just relax while reading or browsing the internet. However, not many share this passion to be in a library.

Sally, Emmy, and Navy are all sat around a square table, slouching, head in paws, and sleeping while the fox is by the computers, browsing through for a source of income.

“How much longer?” Sally asks. “We’ve been here for a while, now…”

Zach looks up to her. “Sorry guys. It’s hard to look for work when you’ve got no experience and people dislike you… There are some I can apply to.”

“Hurry up, then… I can’t stand to be here in this “warehouse” for books… I’m going to die of boredom any second…”

“Come on, Sal,” Niji utters, turned to her as he stands by the book shelf in front of them. “It’s not that bad here. They have some cool comics.” He takes out a book on the shelf and opens it. Then, he giggles. “Oh my god, these characters are too funny.” Navy pulls out her phone and browses around on it, but it’s not enough to keep her in high spirits as the two boys search.

Emmy takes notice of a book on the shelf beside her. She reaches over and pulls it out. The title reads “The Dark Arts for Dummies,” and having a deformed face on the cover. “Interesting…” Emmy opens the book and scans through its contents briefly. “Very interesting…”

Sally moves her head behind Emmy’s shoulder to glance at the book. “What are you reading?”

Navy stands and makes her way beside the warthog. “Ooh, a book on dark magic?”

“Looks like it,” Emmy says. “Says everything about how to summon demons and conjure black magic.”

Navy gasps and smiles at the idea. “Oh, can we do this! Please?”

“I think we should,” Sally adds. “Maybe we can have a demon wreak havoc on that wolf for taunting Zach.”

“Not sure if that’ll be the case,” utters Emmy. “But you know what, it probably would be a way to kill boredom. Besides, what could go wrong?”

The fox in the blue bandana approaches the table with sheets of paper in his paw. “I’m done. I managed to apply to some places and print up some addresses and phone numbers. I doubt anyone will consider me except for fast food.” He notices the big book in the warthog’s hooves. “What’s that you’ve got there?”

Emmy closes the book. “Just something to keep us busy.”

“Niji,” Sally calls. The blue, rainbow-haired wolf turns and responds to her. “Come. We have to get back to the mall.”

“Okay!” Niji puts the book back and regroups with the others.

“The mall again?” Zach asks. “Is there something you guys need to get?”

“We need a couple of stuff,” Navy explains to him. “Something for what we’re about to do.”

“You need help getting these things?”

“I think we’re good,” Emmy says. “In the meantime, while we’re there, you could go apply to the places for a job. Kill two birds with one stone.” Navy flinches and backs away.

“Relax,” Sally tells her. “It’s just an expression. Now, let’s go shopping, again!”

 ***

 Back at the mall, the gang wander around in search for their items, except for Zach and Niji, who go off to their own devices. The fox goes to apply to the stores and food places in the mall and Niji browses around at the plushies at his favorites store, while Emmy, Navy, and Sally search for the items they require for their list.

Navy picks up a box labeled “dinner candles” on it, taking it for the first item.

“Miss,” calls out a store associate. “We haven’t stocked those yet!” Navy continues walking up to the counter and prepares to pay, leaving the clerk with a look of dismay.

Emmy searches up and down the row of chalkboards, taking the erasers and chalk from the holders. “This will suit our need of chalk dust.” She picks up one eraser, but barely has a grip on it. “Uh oh!” Upon catching it, she hits the chalk boards on either side of her, emitting dust into the air around her. “Oh no…” Emmy’s mouth begins opening wider until, “Achoo!” The dust enters her nose more, causing an uncontrollable sneeze. “I must… achoo! Get out of- Achoo! Here…”

In the floral shop by the corner, Sally looks around for the last item on the list; black rose water. “Hm… If I were rose water, where would I be?” Her eyes are drawn to the bottle on the top shelf near the entrance. “Of course, it’s up there…” She looks around, yet sees no worker in the store. “And no one’s around to help… Guess I’ll just help myself then…” The dog reaches for the bottle, but her paw is only inches away from it. “Hugck! Come on!” She stands on her tippy-toes. “Come on, Sally! Almost there!” Her paw stretches out more and wraps around the item. “Got it!” Her weight, however, causes the god to lean forward into the shelf. “Uh oh! Whoa!” Sally is knocked into it, causing it to fall over. As the shelf falls, a vase of flower water tips and spills all over the dog. Sally gets up and sees the damages she’s caused. “Uh, whoops…” She quickly pulls out some cash and leaves it on the counter. “I’ll just be going!” She leaves the scene.

Everyone regroups at the entrance from where they came. Zach takes notice of several plushies the blue wolf has. “Looks like you have a thing for plush toys…”

Niji chuckles. “Lucky guess, huh?” He turns to notice the three girls. “Hey, what happened with you guys?” He sniffs the dog. “And why do you smell like fresh roses?”

“Don’t!” Sally utters. “Let’s just get out of here right now!” Emmy sniffles but sneezes again.

“Security!” someone shouts. “Security!” As the spectator yells, the girls rush out the entrance with the fox and wolf behind them, curious as to what happened.

 ***

 The gang gathers at Navy’s studio apartment, where they set up for their “special event”. Sally draws along the floor, making a pentagram with a marker. Emmy takes sand and proceeds to encircle the pentagram, touching the points with perfection. Lastly, Navy places candles beside the points and lights them.

Sally looks into the picture in the book before viewing the shape in reality. She crosses her arms with a smile of pleasure. “Looks about right.”  

“Yeah,” Navy adds. “And it smells nice, too!”

“Okay, let’s get started.” Emmy picks up the book and holds it in her hooves. “All that’s left is to recite the incantation.”

“Wait!” Sally interrupts. “What if whatever comes out of there tries to kill us?”

“Hm, good point. We should suit up and prepare for the worst.” The three girls rummage around Navy’s place for protective equipment and anything that could be used as a weapon. They manage to find gear and tools, preparing in five minutes. Navy holds a shovel close while donning a knight’s helmet, while Sally’s protects herself with football helmet, wielding a frying pan for her defense. Emmy’s head is covered with a pumpkin as a baseball bat leans up against her for her weapon. The warthog holds the book up. “Everybody ready?” Navy and Sally stand guard behind Emmy, ready to expect the unexpected. Emmy begins the incantation. “For thou who lives trapped in flame and clay, heed this call, rejoice and pray.” Navy’s wings tremble, shaking the shovel in her grip. “Gather upon thy mortal door.” Sally tightens her grip of her frying pan. “Break the gates, and emerge once more!” The candle flames enlarge, brightening the room as a portal opens within the center of the pentagram. One big, round ball shoots out from the entryway, followed by a second ball of fire, bouncing off the walls of the apartment. The three girls panic as the frenzy continues.

Outside, the wolf and fox walk toward the apartment complex where Navy’s apartment resides.

“Thanks for coming with me to fill out other applications, Niji,” says Zach. “I appreciate your company.”

“No problem,” Niji tells him. “Those didn’t take long.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ll be considered, being a “flawed fox” and all…”

“You’d never know. It’s possible an employer will disregard all that and actually see what your skills are. Besides, shouldn’t be too hard to flip burgers, stock shelves, or even consult customers.”

“True… I’m just worried because of my reputation… I mean, if I was never with Team Rescuers, I would’ve-” As they get closer to the door, the sounds of crashing and yelling amble from within. “Huh?!”

Niji turns his ear toward the door. “What’s going on in there?!”

“Emmy, Navy, Sally?!” Zach reaches for the knob, twists it, and pulls the door open. “Guys, what’s going- Whoa!” The fox and wolf become shocked to see the scene unfold: the two big fireballs bouncing off the walls as the girls try to avoid them.

“Watch out!” calls Emmy. One fireball pushes its way out the door, knocking Zach onto the walkway, while a terrified Niji backs away to dodge. The second fireball follows the first and both leave the vicinity.

“Wow,” Navy utters. “That was sure something…”

Emmy runs over to help Zach off the ground. “You okay, Zach?”

“Ugh!” Zach grudges his stomach as he gets up with the warthog’s aid. “I’m fine! It’s not the first time I’ve taken a beating…”

Niji comes out from the corner he has ducked into and rejoins Zach on his side. He looks over his shoulder to see Navy’s apartment, wrecked and battered. Items scatter all over the floor. “What the heck happened in here?! It’s like a cyclone hit this place…”

“And where were you two?!” Sally demands. “We could’ve used your help when this place went to hell!”

“We stopped at some places along the way,” Zach explains. “I went to fill out some job applications. We didn’t expect to come here and see the whole place in disarray.”

“You should’ve been here when all that happened…” The dog grunts. “Now, there are two fireballs on the loose in Heroto…”

“We should find them,” Emmy suggests.

“Are you nuts?! You want to find the very things that tried to kill us?!”

“They could be the demons we summoned,” Navy adds. “I want to meet them!”

“Demons?” repeats Zach. “You two were summoning demons?!”

“It’s a long story,” Sally spurts. “And I’m not sure chasing demons is a good idea, especially after what we’ve just been through.”

“Come on, Sally.” Navy nudges her. “Don’t you want to see what we’ve summoned? Emmy and I do! Please?” Her eyes get bigger for better begging.

Sally lets out of sigh, submitting. “Fine… But, I have a question: How do we find our “demons”? We just let them loose…”

Zach turns and takes a couple of steps away from the group. “Just follow the trail…” The gang looks to see what he means, staring at the burnt marks in the road, the smashed cars, and the melted lampposts down the street at the t-intersection. “The trail of destruction…”

@rainbow-strike​ @emmy-the-absolute-goof​ @sally-the-pack-leader​ @pink-unicorn-boi​