#- that i loved everyone's comments and feedback and thoughts. it meant a lot to me even though i was being so hectic lmao

[starflungwaddledee]

deleted my little melt-down from yesterday. left it up a little longer than planned because i wanted to make sure folks got replies!

thank you so much to everyone who was very nice and encouraging to me about it and also to the person who sent me a delightful ask/prompt/suggestion that i would love to draw something to; if i can just get the confidence up

thank u 💖🙏

[girllblogging777]

𝑈𝑁𝑇𝑂𝑈𝐶𝐻𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚

↳ mattheo riddle x fem!reader (cousin’s best friend)

↳ word count : 0,6k

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 : mattheo riddle has never done feelings, but that was until draco’s french cousin transferred from beauxbatons

✩✩✩✩

you were “untouchable”. that’s what everyone thought. that’s what everyone said. the first word pronounced when someone mentioned you. the “mysterious french girl” the “exchange student from beauxbatons” and most of all “draco malfoy’s cousin”. you couldn’t go anywhere in this school without hearing those words. everyone knew better when it came to daring looking your way or crossing your path.

as mean and cold as he looked, your cousin draco had a habit of being quite overprotective when it came to you. since you had transferred to hogwarts a couple of months ago, you had never been seen without him and his friends. the slytherin boys all had quite the reputation in this school, and ever since draco had introduced you to them, you knew the other students would leave you alone.

however, the “untouchable” rule came to your cousin’s friends too. they knew better than that, and to be honest you didn’t care much. enzo was caring, blaise was loyal, theo was compassionate, but what you and them had was purely platonic. the only person to whom that rule didn’t apply was the one and only mattheo riddle. the captivating brunette had been draco’s ride or die since first year and unfortunately for you, that meant you had to spend a lot of time together. but for some reason, the boy always seemed to be avoiding you. it wasn’t obvious at first but you had started to notice it in the little things, like when he’d leave the great hall everytime you sat at their table or go for a cigarette break when you approached the boys at a party. “what did i do to make him hate me ?” you often thought. “he doesn’t even know me…”

you always ended up brushing it off by talking and joking with the other guys, who unlike mattheo, were always here for you. what you didn’t know was that the dark lord’s son didn’t hate you, he just hated what you made him feel. the way his heart fluttered when you were around was nothing but platonic, wich is why he always felt like bolting when you approached him.

but what could he do ? you were breathtakingly beautiful. hell, captivating even. the way your hair was always perfectly falling around your face like an angel. how you made the cutest sound when you laughed at his friends’ jokes. and that sweet accent of yours didn’t help. every word that rolled out of your tongue made him lose his mind. the minute you had walked inside the great hall back in september, he knew he was done for. “they weren’t lying when they said french people were attractive”. imagine what he felt when right after being sorted into slytherin, you ran into draco’s arms. did his best friend have a girlfriend ? how could he have missed that ? he was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard “meet my cousin, y/n y/l/n”. and that’s when he realised the mess he was in.

mattheo riddle wasn’t known to be a romantic guy, he didn’t do feelings. the only times he was seen with girls were during drunk make out sessions at parties, or quickies in broom closets when he needed some relief. all his life, he had stayed away from love and its problems. the “untouchable” girl was the compete opposite. you were a hopeless romantic, saving yourself for the perfect romance you had read and dreamt about ever since you were little. and most of all, you were his best friend’s little cousin. he knew he should’ve stayed away from you, and he really tried.

but everything changed after that one time…

✩✩✩✩

a/n : this is my first time writing so please give me some feedback !!! also please like, comment and reblog, i’m taking requests (tell me if you wanna be tagged in my posts <3)

@pizzaapeteer @tateshifts @iris-qt @deadghosy @mattheosdior @sadnymi

[kentobb]

The Bet (Part Two)

Characters: College!Sukuna x Female Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Foul language, Kiss. Sukuna being an idiot.

Author’s note: Thank you for everyones comment! It meant a lot for me. Did a part two thanks to the feedback ���� I love reading your comments. Feel free to leave a feedback or how you feel in the comments.

Part 01 Part 03 Part 04

Sukuna walked into the library, his heart pounding a little faster than usual. He was there under the pretense of needing help with his project, but deep down, he knew he didn’t really need it. He just needed to make progress with you on this stupid bet with Gojo. As he walked through the aisles of books, he spotted you from a distance. You were sitting peacefully, engrossed in a book. The sight of you so absorbed in your reading made him feel a pang of guilt. He was about to disrupt your tranquility for his own selfish reasons.

He approached you quietly, not wanting to startle you. When you looked up and saw him, you greeted him with a warm smile, ready to help. Sukuna couldn’t help but feel a bit ashamed. What kind of person was he to use you like this? Would you mind? Would you not mind?

“Hey,” he said, trying to keep his tone casual. “Thanks for agreeing to help me.”

“It’s no problem,” you replied, closing your book. “What do you need help with?”

“Uh, just some research for our project,” he said, sitting down next to you.

You nodded and opened your laptop, quickly pulling up some documents. “Alright, let’s start with the basics. What part are you struggling with?”

He glanced at the screen, feeling a bit like a fraud. “I guess I’m having trouble narrowing down the sources. There’s just so much information.”

You smiled and began explaining the research process to him, breaking it down into simple steps. You had a way of making even the most complex topics seem easy to understand. As you talked, Sukuna found himself genuinely enjoying the conversation. Your voice was soothing, and your explanations were clear and concise.

“See, it’s not that hard,” you said, looking at him. “You just need to organize your sources and make sure they’re credible.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Sukuna said, smiling. “Thanks…you’re really good at this.”

You blushed slightly. “I’m glad I could help.”

You continued working, and Sukuna found himself relaxing more and more. He started cracking jokes, trying to lighten the mood. You giggled at his comments, and he was immediately struck by how beautiful your laughter was. He felt his cheeks warm up and quickly looked back at his laptop, hoping you hadn’t noticed his reaction.

“So, what do you like about reading?” he asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

Your eyes widened, surprised that he is actually making a conversation with you, that he is treating you like a decent human being…as if you were important. Your heart warms at the thought that someone is actually talking to you. You smiled, “I love getting lost in different worlds and stories,” you said, your eyes lighting up. “There’s something magical about books. They let you explore places you’ve never been and meet people you’d never know otherwise…”

“That’s cool,” Sukuna said, genuinely interested. “Maybe we could go book shopping sometime. You could show me some of your favorite authors.”

Sukuna glanced at you, who didn’t seem to take his suggestion seriously. You shrugged and gave a half-hearted smile. “Yeah, okay,” you said, clearly doubtful.

He felt a pang of frustration. “No, really,” he insisted, trying to sound more sincere. “I’ve been meaning to get into reading more. Maybe you could help me find some good books?”

You raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “You’re interested in reading?”

“Yeah, I mean... books are cool,” he said, mentally cursing himself for sounding so unconvincing. He then had a sudden, seemingly brilliant idea. “How about we go book shopping right now?”

You laughed at his suggestion, thinking he was joking. But when you saw the serious expression on his face, your laughter died down. “You’re serious?”

“Totally serious,” he said as he smiled.

You hesitated for a moment, your sixth sense telling to you bail out and go back to your dorm, to drown yourself in books. Your thoughts want to win, telling you that he is just doing this out of petty, that he is just using you—

“Hey…” he said softly, standing up. “Let’s go. It’ll be fun.”

And this time, you decided to ignore your sixth sense. Slowly nodding and smiling, “Okay, if you say so.”

You both left the library and walked to a nearby bookstore. Sukuna was mentally cursing himself the entire way. This was not his scene at all. But as you both entered the store, he found himself distracted by your excitement? Who would have thought that the shy girl who hides herself from the world is smiling and giggling over some books? You moved through the aisles with ease, picking up books, reading the backs, and smiling at titles that intrigued you.

He watched you, feeling a strange lightheartedness. Seeing you so animated, so genuinely happy, was not as unpleasant as he had anticipated. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

“So, what kind of books do you like?” he asked, trying to sound genuinely curious.

“I love fantasy and adventure,” you said, holding up a book with a dragon on the cover. “And sometimes a good mystery.”

He nodded, pretending to be interested. “That sounds cool. What’s that one about?”

You began to explain the plot, your eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. Sukuna found himself smiling, not because of the book, but because of the way you talked about it. Have your voice been always this beautiful? Have you always been this pretty? He picked up a random book and glanced at the back, not really reading the words.

“This one looks interesting,” he said, trying to keep the conversation going.

You looked at the book he was holding and chuckled. “That’s a romance novel, Sukuna.”

He quickly put the book back, feeling embarrassed. “Right, not exactly my style. What would you recommend for a beginner?”

You thought for a moment, then picked out a book and handed it to him. “Try this one. It’s a good start for anyone new to reading.”

He took the book, looking at the cover. “Thanks, bookworm. I’ll give it a shot.”

Both of you walked to the register together, and he paid for the book. As you stepped outside, he noticed a cozy coffee shop across the street. The warm lights and inviting atmosphere seemed like the perfect place to continue the conversation.

“Want to grab a coffee?” Sukuna suggested, surprising himself with how much he wanted to prolong your time together.

You looked pleased and nodded. “Sure, that sounds nice.”

You both walked over to the coffee shop, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeting both of you as you entered. Sukuna wondered what kind of coffee you would order, trying to guess your tastes. When it was his turn, he ordered a black coffee, simple and strong. You, however, surprised him by ordering a hot chocolate.

The cashier rang up the total, and just as you were about to reach for your wallet, Sukuna handed over his card, paying for both of you.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, looking a bit flustered.

He shrugged it off, trying to play it cool. “Consider it a thank you for helping me with the project. And the book recommendation.”

You smiled, your cheeks tinged with a slight blush. “Well, thank you, then.”

Both took their drinks and decided to take a walk, sipping and talking about random topics. For the first time in a long time, Sukuna felt genuinely content. Both of you discussed everything from favorite movies to childhood memories. Sukuna found himself opening up more than he expected, and he was amazed at how easy it was to talk to you. As you walked, Sukuna couldn’t help but compare this feeling to his usual encounters with MeiMei and his other hookups. With them, it was always superficial and fleeting. But with you, it felt different. More real, more meaningful.

Eventually you both arrived back at the dorms, and you turned to him with a grateful smile. “Thanks for today, Sukuna. I had a great time.”

Just as you were about to leave, Sukuna impulsively grabbed your arm, causing you to look up at him with those doe eyes that always made him feel like he was going to melt. He hesitated for a moment, feeling a strange mix of nervousness and excitement.

“Hey, sorry, can I have your number?” he asked, his voice a bit softer than usual.

You blushed and looked down, shyness making you even more endearing. You nodded and took his phone, carefully entering your contact information. When you handed it back to him, fingers brushing slightly, sending a jolt of electricity through him.

“Here you go,” you said, your voice almost a whisper.

He looked at the new contact in his phone and couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, bookworm. I’ll text you later.”

You nodded and you chuckled over your new nickname, still blushing. “Okay, see you.”

As Sukuna walked back to his dorm, he felt an unusual sense of happiness. It wasn’t just that he had a good time—he had plenty of fun at parties and with friends. This was different. He felt a genuine connection, something he hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever.

Sukuna stepped into his apartment, feeling strangely lighthearted. He placed the book you had recommended, "The Alchemist," on the kitchen island and headed to the fridge to find something to drink. After rummaging through the contents, he settled on a cold soda. Just as he closed the fridge door, Yuuji jumped out from behind it with a loud "Boo!"

"Jesus, Yuuji!" Sukuna exclaimed, nearly dropping his drink. "What the fuck, man?"

Yuuji burst into laughter, clutching his sides. "You should've seen your face, bro! Priceless!"

Sukuna rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, yeah, hilarious."

Yuuji’s eyes drifted to the book on the island. He squinted, recognizing the title, and then smirked. "Wait a minute... Is that a book? Sukuna, since when do you read books?"

Sukuna felt a blush creeping up his neck. "I read," he muttered defensively. "Stop being stupid.”

Yuuji snorted. "You read, huh? Bullshit. You don’t even read what you eat.”

Sukuna glared at his brother, but Yuuji's smirk only widened. "Saw you today at the library… with this girl… what was her name again? Y/N? Yeah… Y/N.”

The blush on Sukuna’s face deepened, and he struggled to maintain his composure. "We're just working on a project. That’s it."

Yuuji wasn't buying it. He leaned in closer, waggling his eyebrows. "Sure… does that project include going to bookstores and coffee shops? I saw you, idiot. I was buying some shoes next to that bookstore.”

Before Sukuna could come up with a retort, Choso walked in, catching the tail end of the conversation. "What's going on here?"

Yuuji turned to him, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Guess what? Sukuna’s been hanging out with the bookworm. And he bought a book… because he “reads.” He said sarcastically

Choso raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Sukuna doesn’t even read the bills—”

Yuuji laughed, “Right? That’s what I said!”

"It's not like that," Sukuna protested, feeling cornered. "We're just working on a project together, and she recommended the book. That's all."

Choso nodded slowly, his expression turning mischievous. "Sure….”

Yuuji laughed, clapping Sukuna on the back. "Come on, Kuna, you can tell us. Do you like her?"

Sukuna could feel his face burning. "It's not like that," he insisted again. "We’re just...classmates."

Choso and Yuuji exchanged knowing looks, clearly enjoying their brother’s discomfort. "Sure, sure," Choso said. "But just so you know, if you need any dating advice, your little brothers are here to help."

“She seems like a good girl." Yuuji added with a wink. "I bet dad would like her.”

Sukuna groaned, wishing he could disappear. "You guys are the worst."

Yuuji grinned. "That's what brothers are for. So, when's your next study date?"

"It's not a date," Sukuna grumbled. "And I'm not telling you."

Choso chuckled. "Alright, keep your secrets. Just don’t get too distracted from your actual project."

Sukuna rolled his eyes. "I swear, you guys are so fucking annoying.”

Yuuji and Choso exchanged another amused glance but let the subject drop, for now. Sukuna grabbed his book and retreated to his room, trying to escape their teasing.

When he got to his room, he sat down on his bed, still holding the book and his phone with your number on it. He realized he was smiling like an idiot, but he didn’t care.

Sukuna found himself smiling at his phone more often than he'd like to admit. You and him had started texting regularly, and he genuinely enjoyed the conversations. You are easy to talk to, and he found himself sharing more about his day than he ever had with anyone else.

He liked updating you on his progress with "The Alchemist," surprising even himself with how invested he'd become in the story. He shared memes, too. You had a surprisingly sharp sense of humor, and your texts always made him laugh.

During practice, Sukuna would sneak glances at his phone, chuckling at your latest meme or comment. His teammates noticed, and curiosity buzzed among them.

"Yo, Sukuna, who are you texting so much?" Geto asked one afternoon, wiping sweat from his forehead.

Sukuna shrugged nonchalantly. "Just a friend."

Gojo, ever the instigator, leaned in with a smirk. "Is it MeiMei? Got a booty call lined up or something?"

Sukuna's smile didn't waver, and he simply shook his head. "Nope."

Gojo raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by the genuine smile on Sukuna's face. "Hmm, really now? That smile of yours seems pretty genuine. Are you sure it’s not someone special?"

Sukuna looked up, meeting Gojo's eyes. He knew his friend was fishing for information, but he wasn't about to give in. "Just a friend," he repeated, but the slight blush on his cheeks didn't go unnoticed.

As practice ended and they all headed to the locker room, Gojo exchanged a glance with Geto. "What do you think?" he whispered.

Geto grinned. "I think our boy might actually be falling for someone. And it's definitely not MeiMei."

Back at his apartment, Sukuna sprawled on the sofa, phone in hand. He shot off another text to you, telling you about a particularly funny moment from practice. Almost immediately, your response popped up, and he couldn't help but smile again.

Sukuna: "You won't believe what happened at practice today. Gojo tried to dunk and ended up flat on his face. Classic."

Bookworm :) : "Haha, I can totally picture that. Is he okay?"

Sukuna: "Yeah, he's fine. Just bruised his ego a bit."

Bookworm :): "Poor Gojo. Btw, how's the book going? Any new revelations?"

Sukuna: "Actually, yeah. I'm starting to see why you like it so much. It's kind of... inspiring."

Bookworm :) : "Told you. It's a great read."

Sukuna: "You're a great recommender. Maybe you should suggest my next read."

Bookworm :): "I have a few ideas in mind. But only if you promise to actually read them."

Sukuna: "Deal."

As he put his phone down, Sukuna's thoughts drifted to you. You were different from anyone he'd ever known—intelligent, kind, and genuinely interested in the things he had to say.

The morning sun filtered through the classroom windows as students filed in, preparing for another day of lectures and notes. Sukuna was already seated, tapping his pen against his notebook, when Mahito walked over, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"Hey, Sukuna," Mahito said, leaning against Sukuna's desk. "Big party today at my place. Spread the word, yeah?"

Sukuna nodded, matching Mahito's grin. "Got it. Should be a blast."

As Mahito walked away, Sukuna's eyes drifted across the room until they landed on you. You were quietly arranging your things, completely unaware of the whirlwind of thoughts running through his mind. He knew it wasn’t your usual scene, but the idea of you being there intrigued him. He took a deep breath, gathering his courage.

He needed to make progress on the bet, because… this was about the bet… is not that he wanted to see you, is not that the idea of you has been consuming his mind. As he approached you, he tried to act casual.

"Hey," he greeted you, taking the seat next to you.

You looked up from your notes and smiled, a gesture that made his heart skip a beat. "Hi, Sukuna."

He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words. "So, there's this party at Mahito's place today since its a long week. I was thinking you should come. It'll be fun."

Your smile faltered slightly, and you looked a bit uneasy. "Oh, um, thanks, but I'm actually busy tonight.”

Sukuna raised an eyebrow. "Busy? Doing what?"

You hesitated, then sighed. "I'm going to a museum. They have a new exhibit I've been wanting to see."

"A museum?" Sukuna repeated, trying to hide his surprise. "You're going with someone?" He asked, his heart pounding.

"No, just me," you giggled, cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Seeing your flustered made Sukuna feel a pang of guilt. Here he was, trying to use you for a bet, and you were genuinely one of the sweetest people he'd ever met. "Hey, that actually sounds interesting," he said, surprising himself with his sincerity. "Mind if I tag along?"

You blinked, clearly taken aback. "You... want to come to the museum with me?"

"Yeah," Sukuna said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Why not?"

You looked down, clearly embarrassed. "I don't know, Sukuna. I feel like... it might not be your thing." You gave a small smile, “You’re just being nice…you don’t have to do this.”

He laughed softly. "Maybe not, but I'd like to give it a try. Besides, it's better than going to some noisy party, right?"

You bit your lip, contemplating his offer. "Alright, if you're sure."

"I'm sure," he said, his smile genuine. "So, what time should we meet?"

You smiled and he swear he almost melts.

The afternoon sun was gentle, casting a warm glow on the bustling city streets as Sukuna and you walked side by side towards the train station. You looked adorable in your floral satin dress, your outfit modest and tracing your curves. Your hair was down, two loose strands framing your face. Sukuna found himself captivated by your natural beauty and the soft, unassuming way you carried herself.

You pulled out a map, your fingers tracing the route you needed to take to reach the museum. You glanced up at Sukuna, a shy smile playing on your lips.

"Thanks for coming with me," you said softly, your voice almost drowned out by the city's hum. "I know you had that party you could have gone to instead."

Sukuna shrugged, a small smirk forming on his lips. "There are always going to be other parties. I'm not worried about missing one." He paused, looking at you earnestly. "I want to create new experiences, you know? Do something different for a change."

You looked at him, your eyes wide with surprise and gratitude. "That's really sweet of you."

You continued walking, the conversation flowing more easily now. Sukuna asked you about your favorite museums and what you liked most about them. You animatedly talked about the different exhibits you have seen and the stories behind them. Sukuna found himself genuinely interested, watching your eyes light up with each new topic.

As you sat next to each other on the train, your shoulders occasionally brushing, Sukuna leaned in a little closer. "So, what's the best part of the museum we're going to?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.

You thought for a moment, then replied, "I think it's the interactive exhibits. They make you feel like you're part of the story, not just a spectator."

Sukuna nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Sounds interesting. I like the idea of being part of the story."

You smiled, feeling more at ease. "Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I think you'll enjoy it."

When you arrived at the stop, you continued the walk towards the museum. The city was bustling, but you both managed to carve out your own little bubble of conversation and laughter. Sukuna found himself enjoying your company more and more, appreciating the way you saw the world with such enthusiasm and wonder.

At one point, both of you stopped at a small park to rest for a moment. You took out your map again, double-checking their route. Sukuna watched you, amused by your determination. "You really like being prepared, huh?" he teased gently.

You looked up, blushing slightly. "I just don't want us to get lost."

He chuckled. "Don't worry, I'd follow you anywhere."

Your blush deepened, and you quickly turned your attention back to the map. Sukuna found your reaction adorable, and a warm feeling spread through him.

As you approached the museum, Sukuna could see the excitement building in your eyes. You were practically bouncing on your toes, and he couldn't help but smile. It felt good to see you so happy.

"Ready for our adventure?" he asked, holding out his hand.

You hesitated for a moment, then took his hand, fingers warm and soft in his. "Ready," you replied, your smile bright and genuine.

The party was in full swing at Mahito’s place. Bodies moved to the beat of the music, the air thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat. Mahito and his friends scanned the crowd, puzzled by the absence of Sukuna. Gojo, always observant, finally spotted Yuuji and Choso lounging by the snack table.

He approached them with a smirk. "Hey, you guys seen Sukuna? Mei Mei’s been blowing up his phone, and he’s MIA."

Yuuji, munching on a handful of pretzels, grinned. "Oh, Sukuna? He’s got a date tonight." He chuckled.

Gojo raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "A date? With who? The fuck?”

Yuuji leaned in, lowering his voice dramatically. "The bookworm.”

Gojo’s eyes widened with amusement. He couldn’t believe that Sukuna has actually made progress with you. Was Sukuna able to pull anyone he wanted? He thought to himself "You mean Y/N? No way!"

Choso chuckled, shaking his head. "Yup, that's the one. Heard she is a good girl. She is good for Sukuna.”

Mei Mei, standing nearby, overheard the conversation. Her eyes narrowed with jealousy as she processed the information. Without a word, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the party, leaving a trail of stunned onlookers in her wake.

Gojo, oblivious to Mei Mei’s reaction, clapped Yuuji on the shoulder. "Man, Sukuna must be working hard for those hundred bucks, huh?"

Yuuji’s grin faded, replaced by confusion. "What do you mean, hundred bucks?"

Gojo laughed, taking a swig of his drink. "Oh, you didn’t know? We made a bet. Hundred bucks says he can’t hook up with her."

Yuuji’s expression darkened, his hands balling into fists. "Sukuna did what? He put a price on someone’s feelings? On her? Are you guys fucking insane?"

Gojo, realizing he might have said too much, raised his hands defensively. "Hey, it’s just a bet, man. Nothing serious."

Yuuji rolled his eyes as he searched for his phone, “I swear sometimes yours and his brain are there as a decoration.”

Gojo realized that he may have put Sukuna in trouble and tried to ease problem, “Yuuji, come on. It’s just a silly bet.”

But Yuuji was already dialing Sukuna’s number, his face set with determination. When the call went straight to voicemail, he turned to Choso. "We need to find him. Now."

Choso nodded, his playful demeanor gone. The two brothers pushed their way through the crowd, urgency in their steps. Gojo watched them leave, a sense of unease settling in his gut.

“Fuck…”

The museum was an eclectic mix of contemporary and classical art, its walls adorned with pieces that ranged from the breathtakingly beautiful to the bewilderingly abstract. Sukuna walked beside you, casting sidelong glances at you as you moved from one exhibit to another with an easy grace. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride, though he was secretly nervous about how the day would unfold.

As you stood in front of a particularly strange piece of modern art—a series of seemingly random splashes of paint on a massive canvas—Sukuna tilted his head, trying to make sense of it. "I don't get it," he admitted, glancing at you. "What's it supposed to mean?"

You laughed softly, a musical sound that made Sukuna's heart skip a beat. "Honestly? I don't get it either," you confessed. "I like to read about the artists and their intentions. Sometimes it helps to understand what they were trying to convey."

Sukuna felt a wave of admiration wash over him. "So, you learn about it to understand it better?"

You nodded. "Exactly. Sometimes things don’t make sense until you dig deeper and get to know the context behind them."

Sukuna found your words resonating with him on a deeper level. He realized that getting to know someone—or something—often required patience and effort. It was a lesson he hadn't fully appreciated until now.

Both of you continued walking through the museum, and Sukuna found himself genuinely interested in the art, largely because of your enthusiasm and insightful commentary. You moved from exhibit to exhibit, discussing the pieces and sharing both thoughts. As you walked, shoulders occasionally brushed against each other, a subtle but intimate connection that neither of you seemed to mind.

He was starting to enjoy this more than he expected.

At one point, both of you stood in front of a serene landscape painting, both of you lost in its tranquility. Sukuna glanced at you, noticing how the light played off your features, giving you an ethereal glow. His heart pounded in his chest, a feeling of warmth spreading through him. He was falling for you, and it was happening faster than he could comprehend.

After you had explored the entire museum, you stepped outside, only to find that it had started to rain. The drops came down heavily, quickly soaking the ground. Both of you looked around for shelter and found a small alcove with a roof that provided some protection from the downpour.

You shivered, wrapping your arms around yourself to stave off the cold. Sukuna, without a second thought, shrugged off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. "Here, take this," he said, trying to sound casual despite the fluttering in his chest.

You looked up at him, your doe eyes filled with gratitude. "T-Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the rain.

Seeing you still shivering, Sukuna hesitated for only a moment before he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. "You're still cold," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. "This should help."

Your heart raced, your pulse quickening at the unexpected contact and he could feel it. You looked up at him, eyes wide with surprise and something else—something that made Sukuna's heart ache with a strange, new longing.

Without fully understanding what he was doing, Sukuna reached up and gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing against your soft skin. Your faces were inches apart, and he could feel your breath mingling with his own. In that moment, everything else faded away—the night, the rain, the cold, the world around you. It was just the two of you, lost in a bubble of warmth and closeness.

Slowly, Sukuna leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, a gentle, tentative kiss that quickly deepened as you both gave in to the feelings that had been building between you. Your hands found their way to his chest, clutching at his shirt as if you needed something to anchor herself to reality. This was your first kiss, and it felt like a dream—one that you never wanted to wake up from.

Sukuna felt his heart swell with emotions he hadn't known he was capable of feeling. He kissed you with a tenderness he hadn't shown anyone before, savoring the sweetness of the moment. When both of you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, foreheads resting against each other as you tried to process what had just happened.

Sukuna was speechless, unable to find the right words to convey the overwhelming feelings swirling inside him. He could only look at you, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions.

Just then, his phone began to vibrate, breaking the intimate silence between you. Sukuna fumbled to pull it out of his pocket, glancing at the screen to see Yuuji's name flashing. He hesitated, torn between answering the call and staying in this perfect moment with you.

You gave him a gentle smile, understanding the conflict in his eyes. "Um…you should answer it," you said softly, stepping back slightly to give him space.

Sukuna nodded, still feeling dazed. He answered the call, his voice unsteady. "Y-yeah, Yuuji, what's up?"

“We need to talk. And it’s serious. Go home.” Yuuji said and Sukuna is worried about his brother tone.

His mind kept drifting back to the kiss, to the way you had looked at him, to the warmth that still lingered from your embrace.

You both walked in silence toward the train station, the only sounds between you were the patter of rain and your own footsteps. The air was thick with unspoken words, each of you lost in your own thoughts about the kiss. You couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity. You worried that Sukuna regretted it, that maybe he saw you as a mistake—an odd, nerdy girl who didn't match his level. You bit your lip, glancing at him from the corner of your eye but finding no clues in his expression.

Sukuna, on the other hand, was wrestling with his own confusion. He had never anticipated falling for the girl he was supposed to win over for a bet. His heart felt heavy with the realization that he had genuinely fallen for you, but he was at a loss for how to navigate these new, intense feelings.

When you arrived at the station, boarded the train, still wrapped in silence. The ride felt interminable, each stop only heightening the tension between you. As you finally reached the stop and walked toward the dorms, Sukuna felt a growing sense of dread. He didn't want this night to end, didn't want to leave things unsaid.

Outside your dorm, you began to take off Sukuna's jacket, but he gently stopped you. “Keep it," he said softly, his voice betraying the turmoil inside him.

You looked up at him with your wide, doe-like eyes, then quickly looked away, misinterpreting his silence as rejection. You thought he must be disgusted, regretting the kiss, and that made your heart ache.

Sukuna watched as you fumble with your keys, a million thoughts racing through his mind. He was about to turn away, but then he heard the lock click open. Something snapped inside him, and he muttered, "Fuck it."

In a few quick strides, he was back at your side. He took your face in his hands and kissed you again, this time more passionately, with all the feelings he had been holding back. The rain poured down around you, drenching you both, but neither of you cared. The wind whipped through the corridor, making the moment feel even more intense.

When you finally broke apart, both of yoi breathless, Sukuna rested his forehead against yours. "You're cute," he said, his voice soft and sincere. "Text me when you go to bed, okay?"

Your face lit up with a genuine smile, your worries melting away. You nodded, unable to find the words to express how she felt.

Sukuna gave you one last lingering look before he turned and walked toward his own dorm. His heart was pounding, and a small smile played on his lips despite the rain and cold.

Yuuji and Choso sat in Sukuna’s apartment, a heavy silence hanging between them. The dim light from the kitchen cast long shadows, making the space feel tense and charged. Yuuji kept glancing at the door, while Choso leaned back on the couch, arms crossed, his face set in a stern expression.

Finally, the sound of keys jingling outside broke the silence. The door opened, and Sukuna walked in, looking tired but content. He paused when he saw his brothers, sensing the confrontation waiting for him.

"Hey," Sukuna greeted, trying to keep his tone light as he shut the door behind him. "What's up?"

Yuuji stood up, his face a mix of frustration and concern. "We need to talk."

Don’t forget to leave a comment <3

[karajaynetoday]

hey now, you're an all-star | jack hughes

it took one month of watching hockey for me to write fic. lmao. classic. good vibes.

thank you @littledrummeraussie for proofreading, love you angie 💖

READ PART TWO HERE

READ PART THREE HERE

word count: 2.8k

Warnings:  i don't think it needs any? just forgive my limited knowledge of hockey and canada i suppose? mentions of anxiety related to university? it's a bit angsty bc let's be real, do i ever know how to write anything else?

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here (soz that the masterlist is not up to date lol) | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here

You’d known Jack Hughes for as long as you could remember. He stood up for you in the playground at kindergarten, when a bigger kid pushed you off the swings; you returned the favour by saving him from a spider on his backpack. Ever since, you’d always had each other’s backs. 

And for as long as you’d known Jack, you’d been able to tell when he was upset about something. His lips did this thing, not quite a pout, but nowhere near the easy smile you were used to seeing. He’d pull his sleeves down over his hands, and his breathing would be… deeper, somehow. He could never meet your gaze, either. 

You were scrolling through Instagram on your couch at home, where you were supposed to be studying, when you saw a video of Jack from the Devils fundraiser event, answering media questions about his injury and when he’d be back on the ice. He laughed and smiled for the cameras, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. They asked about the all-star game, and you could feel his hesitation in answering. Jack tried to be positive and assure everyone that he had a chance of playing, but you both knew that wasn’t very likely. 

You sent the video to Jack with a comment bagging out his hairstyle, hoping to lift his mood a little, before dropping your phone onto the couch and drawing your attention back to the economics case study you were supposed to be analysing. 

You’d stayed in Toronto for university, while Jack headed off to New Jersey after his draft year. Long distance friendship took a lot of getting used to, but at least you were still in the same timezone, and the NHL schedule meant that Jack was contractually obliged to visit you a few times each year. Quinn too, despite how much he complained about the intensity of hockey mania in Toronto. In fact, the entire Hughes family sometimes made the trek, which you knew your parents not-so-secretly loved. It reminded you of the warmth you felt growing up in each other’s homes, filled with laughter and joy.

The little focus you had for your economics homework was broken when your phone began to vibrate beside you, Jack’s name flashing on the screen. You rolled your eyes with a smile, before leaning over to answer the video call. 

“Good morning, sunshine!” You greeted your best friend, who was already scowling at you. 

“Is it a good morning, though? When all I do is get criticism from my supposed best friend?” 

“It’s not criticism, more… encouragement, I’d say.” You teased back, Jack rolling his eyes at you.

“Encouraging what, exactly?”

“Encouraging you to make better personal style choices, especially related to hair. You are a millionaire, after all. Least you can do is get a decent haircut.” 

“Oh, my apologies. Didn’t realise I was getting encouragement from the queen of high fashion. Is that a coffee stain on that shirt?” Jack’s eyes glanced down at what little he could see of your outfit in the video call, before poking his tongue out at you.

“Hey, I’m a university student. This is high fashion, I’ll have you know. Anyway, why aren’t you at training?” You asked, cocking your head to the side in curiosity. 

Jack’s lips pressed together, and he looked away from his phone and you; you silently cursed yourself for asking the question. Even though Jack had been injured, he’d been pretty dedicated to his rehab and recovery, so it was a little odd for him to be calling you in the morning rather than be at a physio session. 

“More scans this afternoon so no session this morning. Trying to decide if I can play next weekend or if I just have to show up and look pretty.” Jack tried to joke, but you could tell that it wasn’t something he found humour in. 

“Good thing that looking pretty comes naturally to you, J.” 

“Oh, so now I’m pretty? I thought I had shit hair?!”

“You can both be a pretty face and have shit hair, buddy. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“Mutually exclusive? Is that a fancy term you learnt at school?” 

You laughed at that, earning a Jack smile in return. You continued chatting back and forth for another 30 minutes or so, before Jack had to go to his scans. 

You managed to get through the rest of your economics homework, but your mind kept wandering back to Jack and his frustration at being injured. He’d been an All-Star before, so it wasn’t that specifically he was frustrated about missing, you were certain. The difference this year was Quinn’s selection in the All-Star weekend, and the building anticipation around so-called “Team Hughes” that would see Jack and Quinn on the same team for the first time in their NHL careers. That’s probably what Jack was upset about, because as much as they chirp each other and are fiercely competitive, there’s nothing Jack Hughes loves more than his brothers. You knew that he’d be in his head overthinking everything and convincing himself that he was letting Quinn down, somehow, despite it being beyond his control. 

The only further communication you got from Jack that day was a thumbs-down text message, which told you all you needed to know. You were sporadically in touch a few times throughout the week, and before you knew it, it was the day everyone was flying in for All-Star weekend.

You’d managed to persuade your parents that a full-blown neighbourhood party was not necessary, and instead convinced them to accept Quinn’s invitation to a lowkey but nice dinner downtown near the hotel where he and Jack were staying. The dinner was something you were looking forward to all week, but you hadn’t anticipated two things: accidentally deleting half your economics essay the night before it was due and having to stay up until 3am to finish it; and the butterflies that you were feeling when you were getting ready for dinner. Why on earth were you so nervous? Seeing Jack and Quinn after a while was usually something that excited you, not stressed you out. 

You had just pulled on your dress and finished wrangling your hair when your phone pinged with a message from Jack. 

Have you looked at the menu for this place? We need to order a side of the loaded mac n cheese pls and thx 

I thought you were a high performance athlete? But of course, mac n cheese is a MUST

Correct, my body is a temple. A temple of mac n cheese. Mac is a carb, cheese is calcium for my bones. Winners all around. See ya soon x

Xo

It was freezing outside, so you took an Uber from your university apartment to the restaurant. You were running behind, thanks to traffic, and then you almost toppled over on the pavement outside due to the wet weather. Between that and your sleep deprivation, you honestly wanted nothing more than to go home, put your pyjamas on and cry; but you plastered a smile on your face and headed inside the restaurant. 

The hostess greeted you warmly, and offered to take your coat once you established that your parents had already arrived and were seated on a table towards the back of the restaurant, and you could see the backs of Jack and Quinn as you approached them. Everyone stood up to greet you with hugs and kisses, and the butterflies sparked again when Jack pulled out the chair next to his for you to sit down. Jack and Quinn both had nice sweaters on with collared shirts, and you were quietly glad you’d decided to wear a dress rather than the jeans you’d initially picked out. 

“How did your essay go, sweetheart? I know economics isn’t your favourite…” Your mother enquired, obviously unaware of your crisis the night before. 

You gave her a tight-lipped smile and took a sip of the diet coke in front of you (that Jack must’ve ordered for you, no doubt) before mumbling something about getting it sorted and hoping for the best. Your dad swiftly changed the subject to the weekend’s festivities, excitedly asking Quinn about his plans for the All-Star draft, but you could feel Jack’s eyes on you. You met his gaze and subtly shook your head, silently asking for him to save his questions for later. Jack frowned at you, but complied. 

The dinner felt like it went quickly, but also went for hours. Your stomach hurt from laughing (and probably too much mac and cheese), as Jack and Quinn regaled your parents with stories of their seasons and their plans for the next summer off in Michigan, where your two families would join each other for a month or so of adventures. You found yourself smiling as your dad and the Hughes brothers comically argued over who would pay the bill, before Jack excused himself to the bathroom and sneakily paid the bill on his way there. 

Jack and Quinn’s hotel was walking distance from the restaurant, and they excitedly invited you and your parents to come and see the fancy suite they’d been gifted for the weekend. Your mother made some excuse about traffic on the drive home and promised to come and see it some other time, but nudged you in your side as she told you to go and check it out. You were so tired and ready for bed, but reluctantly agreed; your window of opportunity to spend time with Jack was closing, so you figured you may as well make the most of it.

The butterflies in your stomach flitted around as Jack helped you into your coat before you headed outside the restaurant and bid your parents farewell. You fell into step in between the brothers as they traipsed back toward the hotel, conversation flowing easily as Quinn asked about your college classes and you asked him about the latest book he was reading. Jack was silent as you walked the few blocks before arriving at the hotel, and he gently placed his hand onto your back as you were guided through the hotel front door and into the elevator. 

Your jaw dropped when Quinn swiped his key card and you all entered the hotel suite. They weren’t joking about it being fancy, holy shit. 

The floor to ceiling windows had incredible views of the city skyline, with a very comfortable looking couch in the living area facing the view. Two doors at either side of the living room lead to bedrooms with luxurious linens, and the marble bathrooms were impeccably finished. 

Jack was grinning as he watched you take it all in, leaning up against the door frame to his bedroom as you stood near the window and gaped at the views. Quinn had flopped down on the couch and was texting on his phone. 

“Can they gift this to you year-round? I’d like to live here…” You mused, shaking your head at how insane this hockey lifestyle could be. 

“We could probably just buy it for you.” Jack said nonchalantly, as he wandered over to stand beside you at the window. 

“Yeah, if you want. They’d probably charge us more because I’m a Canuck, though.” Quinn deadpanned, earning a laugh from you and an eye-roll from Jack.

“Speaking of, the guys are all catching up in Petey’s room, so I think I’ll head down there. See you tomorrow after the draft, sugar plum.” Quinn pulled you into a hug, and your heart burst at him using your childhood nickname (which came from one ill-fated ballet performance and you insisted you hated, but secretly loved being called). 

You could’ve sworn you saw Quinn wink at Jack before he left the hotel room, but then again, the sleep deprivation could also be sending you loopy. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jack asked, moving to stand behind you and loop his arms around your waist as you still faced the window. Your heart rate shot through the roof as he pulled you closer, and nestled his head in between your neck and shoulder. You cringed as you realised he could probably feel your pulse beating fast. 

“Sure, but no blaming me if I fall asleep on you, sorryyyyy.” You awkwardly maneuvered yourself out of Jack’s embrace and walked over to the couch, sitting down on it and removing your shoes. 

“The first time we’ve seen each other in MONTHS and you’re going to fall asleep? Am I that boring? Sheesh.” Jack drawled, watching you from where he stood.

“Yes.” You stuck your tongue out at him, but lost it to a yawn which made you both laugh. 

“You know I love you, J. I would happily pull an all-nighter with you, but I don’t think two in a row is probably good for me.”

“Two in a row? What, where you out partying hard last night?” Jack’s voice trailed off as he wandered off into the bedroom, leaving the door open behind him. You heard a drawer open and a light thud onto the floor, and your throat tightened when you realised Jack was changing his clothes. God, you’d gotten changed in front of each other a million times. Why was your brain making everything so weird tonight?

“Not quite. Had a disaster that involved accidentally deleting my entire essay, sobbing for an hour, then staying up until 3am to write the whole thing. Living the dream, as per usual.” You rattled off, trying to sound nonchalant about, even though just thinking about last night made you nauseous with anxiety. Your nonchalance was clearly unconvincing, as Jack came back out of the bedroom clad in a hoodie and sweats and bee-lined for you, his face covered in concern. 

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s fine, I promise. All part of the college experience.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince yourself or Jack more. He couldn’t either, but instead of pushing the issue, he threw a hoodie at your head and laughed when you looked offended. 

“I’m definitely falling asleep if I put this on, by the way. You know I love being cozy. Cozy is my natural state of being.” You pulled your hair up into a loose bun using the hair tie on your wrist, before pulling the black Devils hoodie over your head. 

Jack slotted himself beside you on the couch and reached his arm over your shoulders, finding the remote with his other hand and navigating the ridiculously large TV onto Netflix. 

“Fine by be, sugarplum. I’d rather know you’re getting sleep here than send you home to stress yourself out more.”  Jack mused, his fingers absentmindedly stroking your arm while he found the latest season of a TV show you both loved to watch and pressed play.

“I’m not stres - it was just one essay - I promise I’m fine.” You sputtered, tripping over your words when Jack locked eyes with you, his gaze empathetic but all-knowing. 

“Besides, I’m not the only one in the room worth worrying about.” You said softly, nudging Jack’s side gently. Jack rolled his lips between his teeth, and sighed; he put down the remote and pulled his hoodie sleeves over his hands. 

“But we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You’re not letting anyone down, though. Quinn doesn’t think that.” You continued, softly, not wanting to cause tension. 

Jack sighed deeply again and pulled his arm away from you, leaning forward and rubbing his face with both hands. 

“You don’t know what Quinny’s thinking, sugar. And it’s not just Quinn, it’s the fucking journalists, and Bratter’s vacation being ruined, and goddamn Michael Bublé being disappointed in me, and - just - fucking all of it.” Jack exhaled deeply, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. 

You didn’t know what to say, because you could tell that Jack wasn’t in a mood that you could talk him down out of. But you could tell he needed comfort, needed reassurance, needed to know that you still had his back. Ever since kindergarten. 

You grabbed the back of Jack’s hoodie and gently tugged it, and he leaned back against the couch. You tapped Jack’s legs next, and he moved them up onto the other side of the L-shaped couch, so he was properly reclining. You paused, trying to figure out how to position yourself without being literally on top of Jack, but while your brain was running a million miles a minute, Jack’s hand found yours and yanked you towards him gently. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, before adjusting yourself between Jack’s body and the side of the couch. Jack’s arm found a home over your hips and settled gently on your stomach, pulling your back against his chest. You felt his breath on your neck as you both wriggled around, trying to get comfortable.

 

“Is this okay, sugar?” Jack’s voice was barely a whisper, directly into your ear. You didn’t trust your voice not to squeak a response so you simply nodded, trying desperately to calm your fast beating heart.

You rested your hand on top of Jack’s and gently squeezed, feeling yourself starting to lull to sleep. Despite the butterflies and your heart jumping out of your chest, you somehow had never felt more at peace, right in this moment.

This was safe, this was calm. This was home. 

[ddejavvu]

Love to Lie - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader (Part 2) / Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Final Part)

Summary: Your worst fear is recognized when Bradley’s jet goes down with him in it. You’re not sure why you’re still his emergency contact, you’d broken up two weeks ago, but when you rush into the hospital room, you discover that you have a chance to fix the mistake you’d been cursing yourself for. The only problem is, you have to lie to Bradley, and you discover that you love doing it if it means you get to be with him again.

Contents/Warnings: fem!reader, Mitchell!reader, angst, angst with a fluffy/happy ending, amnesia trope, hospitals and their subsequent medical details, memory loss, goose and carole are still alive because i say so

WC: 16.1K / navigation / inbox

A/N: part two!! thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the sweet, lovely feedback i got on part one, i was so happy you enjoyed the opening chapter!! this part gives some more backstory on reader+bradley, and i hope you like it just as much as you did the first! once more i'd love to hear your thoughts, thank you to everyone who said something wonderful and kind about the first part, it meant a lot to me. <3

feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!

Instead of your alarm, you wake up to a call from Carole. It’s 7:29, and when you raise the phone to your ear, your voice is gruff and achy with sleep.

“Hello?”

It feels just like yesterday. Yesterday, that comes flooding back to you in a barrage of awful memories. All that’s changed is the bed you’re in; you’re still alone. You almost miss Carole’s response because you’re slowly taking in everything that hits you like an anvil from above, but you catch the last word and can discern her meaning.

“-visit?”

“Yeah,” You rub your eyes, feeling tears already gathered there; a great way to start your morning.

“Yeah, I’ll visit,” You confirm, and your alarm buzzes against your head. You hastily shut it off and yawn, only inducing more tears and sighing as you speak again, “I’m gonna run to the store real quick, get some stuff for cookies. He convinced me to sneak them in.”

“That boy,” Carole huffs, and even half-asleep, you hear her voice laced with fondness for her son, “Alright honey. How y’doin’?”

“Um,” You ponder, truly unsure as your fingers pick at a stray thread on the blanket; you’d been meaning to replace it for months. “Okay. Not okay, but not- not as bad as yesterday. I think-” You swallow, throat convulsing, “I think I love lying to him if it means I have him back.”

She’s silent for a moment, letting your words sink into your own brain. You feel guilty for them, just like you feel guilty for leading Bradley on, pretending nothing is wrong when your entire lives have fallen apart. But she eventually responds with all of the kindness and love she has inside of her, which is a lot.

“I know, baby. And it’s okay, it’ll get better. It’ll turn out right.”

“I hope so,” You breathe shakily, wishing either her or your boyfriend (pretend boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend?) were there to rub soothing circles into your back. 

“I know so.” She promises, and she’s never promised something she couldn’t guarantee. You hope this isn’t her first strike, because her never-ending optimism miraculously lifts your dreary spirits until your chest doesn’t ache with a sob begging to break free. “Alright, baby doll, I’ll let’cha get to baking. I’m gonna see if they’ll let me sneak in early, I- Oh! Nurse,” She calls away from the phone, and you hear her move on the other end, no doubt chasing down a poor nurse that doesn’t want to get fired for letting her in before visiting hours. You hang up the call with a snort, fond of how her fierce love for those around her hasn’t faded in all the time you’ve known her.

Pulling yourself out of bed is hard, but you do it for Bradley. You’re sluggish as you traipse to the bathroom, using deodorant in place of a shower and brushing your hair back into a ponytail. Showers are for people who have the luxury of time, you need to bake fast, and get over there to see if Bradley wakes up remembering anything new- er, old. You hope that he doesn’t, and then you hope that doesn’t make you a bad person.

One of the things you love about the place you’d shared with Bradley is that it’s close to a shopping center with a grocery store. It means that you walk to the supermarket, sandals on your feet and ratty, day-old clothes still on. No one seems to mind when you grab a basket looking like you’ve risen from the dead, and you collect the ingredients for Bradley’s favorite cookies with a skillful, experienced hand. You haven’t paid for anything by card in a while, you’d used emergency cash for the motel, and you wonder if you’ve been locked out of your joint bank account. Probably not; if the state of Bradley’s place had been any indication, he wants you back. But you’re cautious using the card anyways, in case a big red screen comes to life on the monitor in front of you and tells you you’re a terrible girlfriend. Almost a terrible wife.

You’re glad that you don’t run into any of your neighbors on the walk back home, because you don’t want to explain why you look the way you do, nor do you want to burst into tears when they ask where Bradley and his car are. You keep your head down and avoid the trike on the front walkway, ducking back into the house without being spotted. 

Firing up the oven feels heavenly, maybe because you’ve been eating scraps of motel food for two weeks. It reminds you of all the times you’ve baked with Bradley, or, more like the times you’ve baked while Bradley steals pinches of sugar from the bowl or tries to lick the beater when there’s raw egg in the mixture, resulting in more batter in his mustache than in his mouth while you try wrestling the spatula out of his grip.

You go through the oatmeal raisin motions absentmindedly; a master at your craft. It frees up brainpower to reminisce, and you sort through a mental file cabinet to find your favorite memory of baking with Bradley.

--

“I want to try the vanilla,” Bradley reaches for the teaspoon in your hands, and you jerk it away, thankful that it isn’t full of the brown liquid yet.

“Absolutely not,” You laugh, “Brad, it’s gross by itself. It’s like eating straight cocoa powder, it’s meant to be mixed in with something.”

He pouts, he actually pouts, a man of 36. The expression has his mustache hanging over his lower lip and you can’t help but giggle at it, leaning in to kiss the prickly hair on his face.

“You’ll have a cookie to eat soon,” You promise him, dumping a teaspoon of vanilla extract into the mixing bowl. He plays satisfied with your answer, but when you turn your back to fold the mixture in on itself with a spatula, you hear rustling behind you, then the click of a cap, and a muffled gag.

“I told you,” Your voice is sing-song-y, and you turn amusedly to watch Bradley duck under the sink’s faucet, rinsing his mouth out of the bitter taste. He’s scowling when he comes back up for air, water dripping from his mustache as he crosses his arms.

“I thought it would be good.” He mutters, and you nod, humming as a bit of batter smears over your thumb from the spatula.

“That’s because you didn’t listen to me,” You lament, “I know everything, Brad. You should just listen to me, always.”

“Oh yeah? Alright, share some wisdom with me, Almighty One,” He teases, pushing off of the counter to join you at your own, “What should I do?”

He moves with his arms crossed, standing just close enough that you know the only answer you can give.

“Mm,” You pretend to deliberate, really leaning into it with a few contemplative taps at your chin, “Kiss me.”

He gasps dramatically, which is the way that he does most things, “Excellent idea. You really do know everything.”

“Mhm,” You nod, craning your neck up as Bradley leans down to kiss you, “I told you. Listen to me all the time.”

“I will,” He promises, “Quick, tell me we should have sex.”

“Bradley!” You gawp, an incredulous laugh oozing out from your chest, leaving behind a snail trail of joy, “You’re insatiable! We’ve already gone twice today.”

“Mm, can’t help it,” He tsks, backing you into the counter and kissing you once more. His lips press firmly to yours, his hands at your waist caging you into his embrace, “Honey, you taste much sweeter than that vanilla shit.”

--

When you come to, you’re putting the cookies in the oven. You’re alarmed at how zoned out you’d been, but evidently you hadn’t burned the place down, and you shut the oven door, setting a timer on the microwave. You tackle the dishes next, using the time that the cookies bake to tidy up your work station. The dough comes easily off of the mixing bowl and the melted butter drips over your fingers before you scrub it away, still slightly warm from the microwave. There’s only a few plates in the sink that you hadn’t dirtied, and you wonder if Bradley had washed and dried dishes while you were away. Or maybe this was it, four plates of food in two weeks. You’d been treating yourself that way, but it’s heartbreaking to know Bradley had, too.

You try warding off your incoming bout of sniffles by retreating back to your bedroom, choosing a new outfit to wear to the hospital. If you show up in the same thing, Bradley might worry about you, and you don’t want him thinking you were too sluggish to pull yourself together for him. You’re hurt, wounded and scarred with lashes over your heart, but he’s the one with the broken ribs and the lost memories, so you need to play the part of the strong one; the uninjured one.

He can’t know you’re hurting in case he asks why.

Your shower is quick, and you try not to think about Bradley in case you succumb to the urge to cry. Of course, it’s impossible to chase the thoughts from your head, and the feeling of your fingers scratching shampoo through your scalp turns into the feeling of Bradley’s. The hand that slides down your side suddenly isn’t your own anymore, it’s a memory of his. A ghost of him, a whisper against your skin of ‘I promise, baby. You won't lose me’.

You hope more than anything that promise stays true.

You get yourself ready to go with more zeal than you’ve felt in the past two weeks. You’re taking the bus today, to cut down on gas money, and you’re sure you’ll spend the whole time worrying. You’re nervous about seeing Bradley, but it’s a few minutes past eight-thirty and you’re sure if he’d regained his memories, Carole would have notified you. Beyond the nerves you’re almost excited to pretend to be his girlfriend again, excited to live in the fantasy life you’ve created to preserve his peace of mind. You never thought you’d love to lie to him.

You’re much more put together today when you greet the receptionist, and you're not sure you could forget the way to his room if you tried. There’s a bag of the oatmeal raisin cookies hidden in your purse and you slip into the room just as a doctor leans over him to take his temperature.

You adore the way Bradley smiles at you. His eyes meet yours as you stand in the doorway, previously cautious and now elated that he seems to like you still. His face lights up and he calls, ‘Baby,’ alerting the nurse to your presence.

“Miss Mitchell!” The woman greets you, the one who’d brought Bradley’s dinner last night. 

“Hi,” You gush, a laugh bubbling up in your chest that’s made of pure elation. It’s a sickly sweet sound, one that you thought you’d never be able to make again after leaving Bradley. You rush to kiss him when the nurse leans away, scribbling down his temperature on his chart.

He lifts his hand to cup your cheek when you kiss him and the tears that line your eyes are happy ones; there’s still time. There’s still time to soak in his love before he remembers, there’s still time to lose yourself in this fantasy.

You take a moment to breathe after the kiss, doing so against his lips. He does the same, and you bask in each other’s presence, noses brushing and foreheads pressed together. Skin-on-skin, love-on-love.

“His heartbeat really did speed up,” Carole marvels, and you scramble to greet her, guilty that she’d slipped your mind in the rush of emotions you felt.

“Hi! Hi, sorry,” You stammer, wrapping her in a hug while she waves away your apologies.

“No worries, baby!” She squeezes your shoulders, beaming at you. You’re sure she’s thrilled you showed up, and you know Bradley is too from the way he grabs for your hand when you sit by his bed. He’s always been a touchy guy, his hands are never idle, but he’s never been quite this clingy before. It’s good, it helps ground you, and it’s what you need after a two-week bender in a motel.

“Brad,” You coo, unable to resist kissing him again when he turns his head to face you in the bed. He looks more comfortable today than he had yesterday, no more breathing tube or pale skin. There’s dark circles under his eyes, but you’re sure he’s still shaken up from the crash, and you’ll make sure he gets to sleep nice and early tonight.

If you’re able to.

Once you’ve kissed him you dot smaller ones across his face, heart soaring at the gentle laughter that spills from his lips as you do so. You kiss his nose, his cheeks, his chin, the space beside his eyes that’s wrinkled from years of laughter, and when his pretty brown eyes flutter shut, you go for the eyelids, too. You savor each one because you know it could be your last, and when he strokes the back of his hand along your cheek, you lean into the touch.

“Pretty girl,” He hums, and you feel your cheeks get hot. Newly showered, you felt more put-together than you’d been before, but you’d spent the past two weeks in a pigsty of your own creation, so the compliment means more than he knows.

Apparently, he feels your cheeks grow hot, too. His fingers pick up on the warmth and he laughs again, this time only a normal amount of raspiness clinging to the sound., He’s hyper-affectionate, taking his chance to dot kisses over your features for a change. The giddiness in your chest as his lips press to your skin, mustache prickling it, makes it feel like your heart will burst. You feel undeserving as he showers you with the affection you’ve missed so much, but you’re greedy so you take it anyways, and you wouldn’t be surprised if Carole was taking pictures of you in secret.

“I have some good news,” The nurse reports, and you turn at her voice. She’s angled towards Carole, obviously having meant to leave you and Bradley be in your couple’s reverie, but when she notices that she has your attention too, she speaks to the group.

“Nothing abnormal was documented during your stay here,” She reads off of her chart, “It’s just the concussion and the broken ribs, which is remarkable for the accident you were in. You’re very lucky, Mr. Bradshaw. There was some smoke inhalation from the crash site but that’s not a major issue anymore, and if everything remains stable until dinnertime, you can go home tonight.”

“Oh!” Carole squeals, clapping delicately with her hands in her lap, “That’s fantastic!’

Bradley seems equally pleased, smiling wide, and it takes a lot of willpower to mirror his expression. He knocks his nose into your cheek and you feel his grin against your jaw, so you bring a hand up to scrub through the hair at the back of his neck.

“That’s great,” You conclude weakly, blaming the lull in your voice on being so close to Bradley and not wanting to talk too loud. Carole eyes you nervously, though, trying to mask the worry in her eyes with a smile.

“You should still rest,” The nurse advises, “Those ribs won’t be healed for close to a month, maybe more. And you can sleep through most of the concussion, too. What’s good about going home is it’ll be familiar to you, and it might help trigger those memories you’ve lost. They’re still not back?”

“Nope,” Bradley shakes his head, keeping it pressed to yours, “I got nothin’.”

“Alright,” The nurse hums sympathetically, tucking the chart into a cubby by the door, “We’ll bring lunch at around one, Mr. Bradshaw.”

“Thank you!” Carole calls after the nurse as she leaves, then she stands in her flowy skirt, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her shoulders.

“Miss Y/N,” She beams, “Bradley’s already had his breakfast. Have you eaten?”

“Uh, no,” You shake your head, “Not yet. Are you going to get something?”

“I am,” She nods, shouldering her purse, “Would you like some hospital pancakes, baby doll?”

“Here,” You stand, but Bradley grabs your hand, keeping you close to his bedside, “I can-”

“You can sit down,” Carole narrows her eyes at you, teasingly menacing, “Sit your butt back in that chair and be with your boyfriend, honey! I can manage two to-go boxes.”

“Thank you,” You gush, settling back into your seat and squeezing Bradley’s hand. He doesn’t let up on his heavy grip until you’re planted in your seat, and even when he does loosen his fingers he still holds you. Carole winks at you when you leave, and Bradley’s attention is solely on you the second the door shuts.

“Y/N,” He murmurs, and sometimes you forget your name isn’t baby or honey around him. You turn, now a little more nervous to be there now that your buffer is gone.

His big brown eyes are oozing their signature sweetness, a golden glint in them under the lights of the hospital room. He looks healthier now, even though you know his ribs hurt, and you’re oh-so-happy to have your Bradley back.

“I missed you,” You confess, and his face breaks into a grin. He nods, leaning up to kiss you, and you close the gap so that he doesn’t have to strain his probably sore muscles.

“I missed you, too,” He breathes, and you kiss him over and over and over again until you think you might be stealing the breath from his lungs. You let up, if only to keep him healthy, otherwise you’d never stop.

“I wasn’t sure when you were coming,” His lips close momentarily around your lower one while yours frame his top in a sweet peck.

“The cookies needed time to bake,” You lament, your mouth slightly dewy from his kiss, “Sorry, babe. I would have come faster, I- I should have gotten up earlier, but-”

“You’re here now,” He cuts off your worries, the heated skin of his face pressing against yours like he’s trying to stick to you, “That’s all that matters.”

“Yeah?” You hum dazedly, drunk on his love, “What about the cookies, do those matter?”

His eyes widen in consideration and he tilts his head to the side, mouth scrunching in a thoughtful frown, “Yeah, those matter too. Oatmeal raisin?”

“Oatmeal raisin,” You promise, digging through your purse, “Are you still on the hospital diet?”

“Honey,” He declares, sounding like his father's son as pride prickles his mustache, “I’d eat your cookies even if they killed me. Lay one on me, sugar.”

You snort at his cocky drawl, withdrawing a cookie from the bag in your purse. You break a piece off, hand-feeding him like his arms are still weak.

“Speaking of sugar,” You muse, stealing a bite of the treat for yourself and speaking with it pinched between your teeth, “I was thinking about baking together earlier. It was awful being alone, there was no one to eat the sugar out of the bowl.”

“Or drink the vanilla extract,” He cracks, and you laugh with glee.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking of!” You gush, taking his hand once more and squeezing it, “You gagged.”

“I don’t know! I just thought it’d taste good! I love vanilla,” He laments, only fuelling more laughter from you. 

“Yeah, well you got a lot of it,” You chuckle, “Anyways, it was weird not having you there. I had to do the dishes all by myself.”

“Poor baby,” He croons, half sincere and half teasing. He strokes a hand down your cheek that you yearn to kiss, but it goes by too fast, “How’d you manage?”

“I thought about you,” You confess, and some of that amusement in his eyes dims, giving way to complete and total admiration.

“Yeah?” He breathes, incredulous like he's twelve and he can’t believe his crush actually likes him. He’s always had that sort of puppyish aura about him, like you’re not just his girlfriend, you’re his best friend, and he’s always happy you’re along for the ride. It’s probably why he holds your hand so frequently, like he is now.

“Yeah,” You nod, flipping his palm in yours and tracing over the lines etched into it, “It’s not home there without you, Brad.”

“We go back tonight,” He smiles, keeping his voice low so that it doesn’t shatter the serenity around you, “Together.” You notice a sheen of tears over his eyes and you fall in love with him all over again, unable to hold yourself back from admiring how much he loves you. You really, really don’t know how you fucked this up.

“Yeah,” You croak, smiling weakly down at his hand instead of into his eyes, “Together.”

“Breakfast,” Carole sings, propping the door open with her foot as she steps inside. Your heads turn in sync, and you see her holding two plates, both covered with plastic lids. “Miss Y/N, three pancakes for you, and there’s syrup for days.”

“Thank you,” You rush to help her, and some piece of your heart stays in Bradley’s palm when you drop it. You suspect you won’t get it back unless he forgives you eventually, or maybe he’ll keep it even if he does. You trust him with it, he’ll take care of it.

You wish you'd offered him and his heart the same courtesy.

Carole hands you your breakfast and takes a seat on Bradley’s opposite side, caging him in between his two girls.

“You want some, baby?” Carole croons at Bradley, but he shakes his head.

“No thanks, ma,” He clears his throat, turning to face you with a puppy-eyed look that he’s had mastered since age three, “But I would love another bite of cookie?”

“Oh, take it,” You grumble, handing over the baked good for Bradley to devour, “But if your blood sugar rises, or something, it’s not my fault.”

“Won’t tell a soul,” Bradley promises, a mouthful of oatmeal raisin already impairing his speech, “Thanks, honey.”

“Mm-hm,” You nod, your mouth similarly stuffed with food. The pancakes are good, considering they came from a cafeteria that also serves tuna and jell-o.

“Y/N, baby,” Carole calls just as much sugar in her voice as is in her breakfast, “Pass me that syrup?”

She’s asking for a container you’ve got in your hand, half-empty. She doesn’t want to open a new one and waste the contents, so you pass it over, but a drizzle drips off of the side and lands on Bradley’s chin. 

He rears his head back as it falls, but he can’t burrow far enough into the pillow to dodge it. You squeal through your mouthful, swallowing quickly and painfully to rush out an apology you’re sure he doesn’t care about receiving.

“Sorry, Brad.” You curse your clumsiness, grabbing for a napkin but getting a better idea instead. You stand and lean over him to kiss the syrup off of his chin, feeling his face split into a grin while your lips are still attached to it. You can't keep a smile off of your face either, licking your lips clean of the stickiness.

“Cuties!” Carole giggles, just as giddy of a grin on her face as is on yours and Bradley’s. You’re sure she’s ecstatic to see you getting along so well, glad to know your acting isn’t just that.

“I was telling Bradley earlier,” You speak disjointedly through a mouthful of syrupy pancakes, “When I was baking his cookies, I was thinking about the times we’ve baked together. Wanna tell’er what you did, Brad?”

“Oh,” He groans, “No. Not fair, baby, I’m bed-ridden. I’m dying,” He sticks a protective hand over his ribs, now magically unable to lift his head from the pillow, “You can’t tell embarrassing stories of me to my mom.”

“I didn’t! I offered you the chance to tell it,” You roll your eyes, wary as you hear a nurse pass by the door. Bradley’s cookie is in plain sight, and he stuffs it into his mouth for safekeeping as the footsteps pass. No one comes in, though, and he struggles to finish his mouthful.

“Oh,” Carol gushes, “Somebody tell me! I wanna know, y’know I love teasin’ you, Brad.”

“Mom!’ He gawps through a mouthful of oatmeal, “Rude!”

“What’s rude is talkin’ with your mouth full,” Carole scolds, swatting him on the shoulder, “Swallow first, mister.”

“He ate-” You start, but Bradley lunges for you with impressive agility, twisting his torso to the side to clamp a hand over your mouth. You laugh, long and loud and brash while Bradley tries to muffle it. In his haste to silence you he tries saying ‘No!’ but he’s still got a mouthful of cookie, and the crumbs that don’t get caught in his mustache rain over your legs.

You’re still laughing. It’s messy, it’s gross, there’s half-chewed cookie on your lap, but Bradley’s holding you close, his strong arms around your head while he keeps a tight grip on your mouth. He’s laughing too, chest shaking as he tries powering through the mouthful of food that he’s got. Finally he swallows, but he doesn’t let go, only blows fruitlessly at the crumbs littering your pants.

“I’m sorry,” He pants, short of breath from chuckling, “If you hadn’t been so hellbent on embarrassing me, I wouldn’t have spewed raisins into your pancakes.”

“Gross! Okay!” You laugh uncontrollably into his palm between giggles, kissing at the skin there, “Okay. You win.”

He lets up only when you stop struggling, letting yourself sink into his embrace no matter how uncomfortable. A thought prods at the back of your mind like a lightning rod, sending a jolt of pain down your spine when it reminds you that this isn’t real. But you push it away, you don’t let it paralyze you, and your smile never falls.

“I’m sorry,” You hum to Bradley, while Carole watches you with amusement dancing in her pretty eyes, as well as in her movie star smile, “I just thought your mom would have liked to hear. That’s all.”

“She would,” Bradley nods, leaning back in his bed, finally at ease, “That’s why you can’t tell her.”

“You’re no fun,” She groans, and you finish up the last of your pancakes, gathering all of the trash (and cookie crumbs) to put them in the can. You have to let go of Bradley’s hand to make it across the room but when you’re by the door you stay there, your boyfriend’s eyes trained on you like a hawk.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” You reach for the doorknob, then, while he can't reach you, “Carole, he ate vanilla extract.”

The nurse down the hall gives you a strange look as you rush to shut the door on both Bradley’s indignant shout and Carole’s gleeful giggles.

“Does he need help?” He looks at you skeptically, and you shake your head.

“We’re teasing him,” You brush the nurse’s concerns away, “Where’s the gift shop?”

True to your word, you stop by the bathroom, but your real destination is the gift shop. There’s a stuffed bear inside with fur the exact caramel shade of Bradley’s hair, and you only wish it had a mustache. Otherwise, it’s identical, flight gear on and aviators over its eyes. 

“Hi,” You greet the cashier at the counter, handing over the bear and a book you plan on reading to him in your downtime, “Just these.”

While she rings up your purchase you hear the sliding doors behind you open, and you turn to see your dad and Nick enter. Their faces light up at the sight of you, and when the cashier gives you back the bear, you show it off to them.

“Just gotta get it a mustache,” Nick tugs softly on one of the bear’s ears, “Now that’s a good lookin’ bear!”

“I was gonna get’im a movie to watch,” Your dad beelines for the DVDs, but you pull him back.

“Dad,” You murmur, walking him and Nick towards the door, “He can just use his phone. Everything here is way too expensive.” You throw a kind smile at the cashier like you hadn’t just insulted her trade, “Thank you!”, and lead the way back to Bradley’s room.

The elevator ride almost goes sour when Nick tries pushing all of the buttons at once. You’re not sure how Carole has survived living with him for this long, but you swat his hands away with an incredulous shout.

“Don’t! I wanna get these back to him,” You beg, bear and book in hand, “I’ll bet he’s so bored.”

“You seen him already?” Your dad raises a brow, and you nod.

“Carole’s there, too,” You hum, “We just finished breakfast.”

“Does he ‘member anything new?” Goose asks, and that little lightning rod comes back, tazing your brain, burning one word into the matter there; liar, liar, liar. All of a sudden the elevator is too small, and you’d rather be anywhere but.

“Nope,” You shake your head, turning to face the doors of the elevator that ding, “Nothing.”

“Bradley!” Nick cheers, seeing his son alive and well, “Made it through the night?”

“Barely. Spent more time on my phone than I did asleep,” Bradley scoffs, and your heart skips a beat, not in a good way. Again you wonder if he’s found mystifying evidence of your breakup, an unfollow on instagram or a deletion of date nights from the calendar.

You’re sure he would have brought something up if he was confused, but you’re sneaking around, and it makes you paranoid enough to believe everything will fall apart at a moment’s notice. You have no peace, not when Bradley isn’t holding you.

“Well you’re going home tonight,” Carole reminds him, stroking over his cheek fondly, “You’ll get some good rest there, Brad.”

“Hey, alright!” Your dad whoops, “They’re cuttin’ you loose?”

“After dinner,” Bradley nods, “They said if nothing weird happens I can leave.”

“Congrats, Brad.” Nick claps him on the shoulder, standing in front of the seat you’d abandoned to go get his gifts.

His gifts!

You fumble with the bag in your hands, pulling the bear out first and passing it over.

“Oh, baby,” Bradley laughs, admiring its miniscule flight gear, “Bear’s almost as handsome as me.”

“Nah, a little more.” Pete squints at it, “It doesn't have that ugly mustache.”

“Hey!”, Father and son rage in unison, and Nick slaps your dad’s arm hard enough for Bradley, too.

“Uh, Carole,” You murmur, but the soft sound catches Bradley’s attention anyways. He’s drawn to you like a fly to honey, stuck in every last drop of your sweetness.

“I need to ask your mom a favor,” You smile down at Bradley, brushing hair away from his eyes, “Can we slip out?”

“Okay,” He hums skeptically, “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise,” You drag your voice out dramatically, leaning down to peck at his forehead. His skin is warm to the touch, and feels comforting against your lips.

“We’ll keep’im busy,” Nick declares, taking the book that you hand him, “Want me to read to you, Brad?”

“No.”

“Too bad! Ooh, Little Women. Wanna do voices with me, Mav?”

You and Carole step out before Nick or your dad could pull out any high-pitched giggles, and Bradley’s mom looks at you worriedly.

“What is it, baby doll?”

“I need help,” You confess, “If Bradley’s coming home tonight, he’s gonna notice a hell of a lot of stuff missing from our place. I just took everything I could grab and I ran,” You recall, dry swallowing at the thought of the boxes piled into your motel room, “I can’t put everything back by myself, and I- I don’t want to force you to help, but my dad and NIck can’t know, and-”

“Slow down, sugar,” She hums, reaching out to rub a soothing hand up and down your arm, “I’ll help you. What do we got, clothes and shoes?”

“And books, and toiletries, and... puzzles.” You concede drearily.

“Baby,” Carole arches a brow, looking almost sympathetically at you, “You brought puzzles with you?”

“I thought I’d be bored!” You reason, shoulders stiff to your ears, “But I haven’t had much of an appetite for puzzling.”

“Alright, I’ll help you,” She promises, “How long are we gonna need, honey?”

“A few hours,” You shrug, “We can carpool to base, I’ll pick up his Bronco, and we can head to the motel I’ve been at to get my stuff. We’ll need the extra space in the back of his car.”

“Okay! Okay,” Carole gushes, and you think she’s almost a little exhilarated by this spy operative, “Let’s stay for lunch, then we’ll go. We’ll say- uh, the house needs cleaning!”

‘Perfect,” You rub at your temples, “Thanks, Carole. And- and we’ll buy party decorations,” You snap your fingers, “I told him we were out here talking about a surprise, so we’ll throw a little welcome home thing tomorrow, have cake or something. That’s our alibi.”

“Got it! I’m off to the bathroom,” She heads down the hallway, “Get back in there!”

“-told you, I’m Jo!” Your dad is standing squared to Nick, eyes narrowed and shoulders tight, “It’s not fair that you get to be everyone!”

“Well if you did the voices right, I wouldn’t have to take over everything,” Nick huffs, “Tell’im Brad, that was a shitty Beth impression!”

“Both of you suck,” Bradley drawls, his eyes tracking you intently as you slip back into the room, “Baby, you okay?”

You shake off any residual nerves from your scheming with Carole, nodding as light-heartedly as you can, “Yeah! Yeah, Brad,” You take your seat beside him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight, “I’m okay.”

He doesn’t look like he believes you. He's always good at reading you, and everything about you right now is a lie. You smile at him, leaning in to kiss his cheek, but he doesn’t react like you want him to, he still doesn’t believe you. He studies you when you pull away, and you laugh in defeat, “I promise, I’m just exhausted from all of this. But that shouldn’t matter, I wasn’t the one whose jet crashed! As soon as we get you home I’ll be fine.”

That seems to work, clearing away the worry swirling in Bradley’s honey-colored eyes. He nods, smiling softly, “Yeah, me too.”

He takes your hand, and you’re starting to wonder how you’d ever survived without holding his. You hadn’t held hands this frequently even when you’d been together, not that Bradley knows there’s a difference. Your heart aches for the man beside you, how shaken up he must be to cling to you like a lost puppy.

While Nick and Pete argue you feel Bradley’s fingers slip from yours, and it’s such an unexpected motion that you turn to watch him. He’s looking intently at your hand, though there's an absent-minded air about him, and your stomach drops when he ghosts his rough thumb gently over your ring finger. 

“Brad?” You murmur, trying to keep from choking up, “‘Love you.”

He smiles, eyes trained back on yours and full of tenderness, “Love you too, sweetheart. Where’s my mom?”

“Bathroom,” You drop your eyes down to his hands, studying his own bare ring finger. You hope you get to see it decorated one day.

“Do you want me to read to you?” You look back up at him, your nose nearly bumping his cheek. Nick has left the book on the side table near the foot of Bradley’s bed in order to gesture with both hands, and you’re sure they wouldn’t notice if you lit it on fire where it sat.

“I’d love for you to read to me,” Bradley laughs breathily, “I haven’t been hearing your voice much lately. Not like I used to.”

“I know,” You lament, hoping your voice doesn’t tremble. You know he means unobscured, private, without beeping in the background and the ever-present threat of a nurse coming in to kick you out, but you hadn’t heard Bradley’s voice in weeks, so you understand the internal yearning.

“Come here,” Bradley suggests when you fetch the book, offering up the right side of his bed. It’s small, nothing you wouldn’t attempt at home but something you don’t want to risk in the hospital.

“No, it’s okay, Brad.” You shake your head, trying to pat the blankets down around him but he doesn’t let you, reaching for your thigh.

“No, I don’t wanna hurt you!” You insist, standing when he tries dragging you into the bed with him, “It’s okay, Brad, let’s just sit. We can be closer when we’re home, but for now I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

He looks crushed. Really, truly crushed, his brown eyes holding such a vulnerable look in them that you feel like you’ve just punted a puppy across a football field.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” You repeat, swallowing thickly as tears prick at your eyes. You lean down to kiss his forehead, “I’m scared, Bradley.”

You’re scared about more than just that. You haven’t held him in weeks, nor has he held you. You’re afraid that you might never recover from this, but if he wraps his arms around you, buries his face in your hair and holds you close, you know you never will. You’ll spend the rest of your days living in regret, and your self-preservation instinct is kicking in again.

“Don’t be afraid,” Bradley murmurs, though he doesn’t need to be quiet now that Nick and your dad have stopped bickering. They’re stealing sneaky glances at the two of you, acting like their sunglasses stop them from being noticed even though their heads are turned towards you.

His words strike something within you that he didn’t mean for them to. He’s spoken unknowingly to your outstanding promise with yourself, that you won’t run away because something is scary. And your promise to Carole, as well, that you’ll make her son feel loved before he remembers that love wasn’t enough to make you stay.

“Bradley,” You breathe, book in one hand as you use the other to stroke through his hair. You’re standing at his bedside and he takes advantage of your proximity, sitting up and off of his pillows to lean his head against your stomach. 

You’re glad he can’t see your face, because tears rush from your eyes in seconds. He’s a sweet man whose brain operates on love first, and thought second, so when he hooks his arms around your waist and nestles his face into your tummy, you know it’s his instinct to hold you. 

At the sight of your tears the other men in the room decide to take their leave, smiling sadly at you while you comb your fingers through Bradley’s hair. 

“We’ll give you some time,” Your dad whispers, but Bradley can hear just fine, “Bye, honey.”

You aren’t able to offer them a wave in response, but they know you appreciate it. 

Once more the sterile hospital room is inhabited by only you and Bradley. Souls intertwined, tangled in some places and parallel in others, you hold him, stroking through his hair and praying he never picks his face up out of your stomach. There’s snot threatening to run down your lip but you don’t dare sniffle at the thought of ruining the moment, keeping your chest deathly still where it yearns to shake with sobs.

“I love you,” You whimper, dropping the book to cage his head to your belly, “I love you, Bradley, I- I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” He speaks into your stomach, and the sound vibrates through your body, warming you with a tingly sensation like the one you’d gotten from your very first kiss with Bradley.

You’re sure he knows you’re crying now, now that your voice drips with tears and your hands shake in his scalp. He doesn't break away, though, only tugs you closer, keeping his face nestled to your body as he pulls you into a sitting position on his lap. You’re mindful of his broken ribs, but there’s nothing wrong with his thighs, so when you land on top of them, you let yourself rest there. 

Bradley’s wormed his nose against your cheek, no longer snug in your stomach but flush to your face instead. He holds you like he used to, before you spooked and ran, before he fell out of the sky in a blaze of flames, before anything in your life was complicated. He holds you like he held you when you were just Y/N and Bradley, cradling your face to his chest and tucking his chin over your head.

“You’re hurting, too,” He murmurs, rocking you ever-so-slightly back and forth as you sit sideways on his lap. He keeps you tucked to his chest, smooths your hair with one hand and holds your waist with the other. 

“I’m the one that went down but you’re the one who got that phone call,” He moves his hand from your hair to your back, scratching aimlessly there, “You’re allowed to be upset over that. You don’t have to pretend like nothing is wrong just because I’m in the hospital. I don’t want you to pretend to be strong if it’s only gonna make you weaker. Talk to me, honey, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t!” You wail, clutching his hospital gown and praying you aren’t hurting his ribs, “Bradley, I- I can’t tell you. I can’t do that to you, not here, not now. I’m scared,” You weep, “I’m really scared, Bradley.”

“Don’t be. You’re okay,” He promises, pecking a soft kiss against the crown of your head, “Baby, you’re safe with me. You don’t have to be scared of anything. Of talking, or feeling, or hurting. That’s what I’m here for, angel, to talk with you, to feel with you, to hurt with you. That’s what love is, honey, and I love you, you know I do.”

His voice wobbles slightly on the last fragment of his sentence, and you don’t think you can handle seeing him cry. You’re terrified out of your mind, but determined just the same not to run, and it’s stuck you in this awful paralyzed state. All you can do is hold Bradley, all you can do is let him hold you, and hope that his memories never return.

“I don’t want to stress you out,” You mourn, picking your head up from his chest to press it to his face instead. You want to fuse yourself to him, so that he couldn’t cast you away if he tried.

“I’m stressed about whatever you’re not telling me,” He laughs sadly, a soft huff of air from his chest, “Baby, it makes me stressed knowing you’re shutting yourself in like this. Knowing there’s stuff going on up here that you don’t want to talk to me about.” 

He taps your head, then smooths his hand down the nape of your neck to rub at your back.

“Tell me,” He begs, voice raw with despair, “Please, angel, tell me what you’re feeling.”

You owe him the truth. Concealing the truth was one thing. Sneaking around, covering up behind his back so that he didn’t notice anything peculiar was a preventative measure. But now he’s asked for your honesty, now it’ll be lying if you don’t tell him. Now you’ll be lying to him, really and truly lying to him, and you can’t bring yourself to do it. You choose honor this time, sniffling hard and bracing your hand on his chest so that you can look him in the eyes if you feel brave enough.

“Bradley,” Your words roll off of your tongue with the weight of steel, and you have to force them out of your throat to get them to go at all, “I want to be honest with you. But I’m scared-” Your face crumples, and you fight to right it, “But- but that’s not fair to you. It’s not fair for me to shut you out, You’re right, you-” You falter, the pitch of your voice wobbly as you take a deep breath, “You love me. And I know I can be honest with you.”

“You can,” Bradley promises, stroking his knuckles over your cheek. He stares into your eyes, and you stare into his only to get a last glimpse of their sweet honey-like hue.

“You should know,” You drop your eyes, unable to confess while looking into his, “I love you, Bradley. I always have, and I always will.”

“I love you, too,” He promises, “Now what’s the matter, honey?”

“It’s-”

“Mr. Bradshaw?” A nurse steps into the room, and instantly the moment is shattered. There’s no picking up the pieces, no glue in the world strong enough to repair the bravery you’d mustered up to be honest with Bradley. 

He looks annoyed at her interruption, something you know he wouldn’t normally feel towards anyone doing their job, but he refrains from snapping at her.

“Yes?”

“We need to run some vital tests. Blood sugar, heart rate, breathing, the like. After they’re cleared, we’ll know if you can return home or not.”

From his hold on you, you gather that there’s nothing Bradley would rather do less in the world than let you go, and there’s nothing you’d rather do less than let him, but you peel away from him reluctantly, standing where you’d been tucked into his lap. He settles back against his pillows that you’re sure are cold now, and you tuck the blanket beneath his thigh to keep him warm.

He ducks his gaze and you see tears lining his eyes that you want to wipe away, but he grabs for your hand again, and you hope that’s enough for him.

The nurse pokes and prods at him, reads machines and scribbles their information down, and the door opens once again before she’s done conducting her tests. Carole, Nick, and Pete step back through the doors, smiling sheepishly at you. You have a sneaking suspicion that Nick and your dad had held Carole off from coming back to the room while you spoke, which you’re grateful for. You just wish you'd had a little more time.

“Alright,” The nurse claps, smiling cheerily like she hadn’t just shattered your moment, “You are in good shape, Mr. Bradshaw. Your blood sugar is a little high,” She notes with a furrowed brow, and you shoot a knowing glance at Bradley, “But everything else seems right. Your ribs should heal within a few weeks time, and once you get back home and see familiar surroundings, your memories should return. All you need to do is rest, once I get these processed and signed off by the doctor, you’ll be good to go!”

“Thank you,” Carole gushes, while Bradley just nods with a tight smile on his face, jaw tight in irritation at the four unwanted parties in the room.

“Goin’ home, big guy.” Nick grins at Bradley as the nurse makes her leave. He claps his son on the leg and this time Carole doesn’t intervene, “What’s the first thing you’re gonna do?”

“Shower,” Bradley rasps, “There’s ash in my hair.”

“Not anymore,” You showcase your hands, dust and ash clinging to the spaces between your fingers from when you’d run them through Bradley’s hair. 

He laughs at the sight, “Still. The second thing on my list is sleep, and I don’t want to get anything on the sheets.”

“Good plan,” Carole beams at her son, hooking her arm around yours, “Baby, we should head out. We’ve got lots to do for this surprise of yours,” She gloats at Bradley, then turns back to you, “But you should wash your hands first, honey.”

“Okay,” You nod, eager to get out of a situation you’d been so courageous in only minutes before, “I’ll- um, get my stuff.”

You bend towards your purse, taking the bag of cookies out, “If your blood sugar rises and lands you in here for another night,” You warn, “I’m never making these again.”

“Yes ma’am,” Bradley nods, but your dad is the one to take the bag, not him.

“Don’t steal them,” You narrow your eyes at your dad and Nick, “And don’t get caught feeding him any. Understand?”

“Yes ma’am!” They echo Bradley, standing at attention. You scoff, turning back to Bradley and leaning down to meet him where he lays back on his pillows.

“I love you,” You hum, and he’s already reaching out for you before you can touch him. He sits upright, grabbing for your hands and tilting his face upwards to beg for a kiss.

“I love you, too,” He mumbles, speaking lowly against your lips as you kiss him. When you pull away he wants more, keeping your hands firmly in his grip when you try to leave.

“Bradley,” You let out a soft laugh, but you kiss him again anyways, knowing he’s still reeling from being a second away from finding out the truth, the extent of which he’s not prepared for.

“It’s okay,” You whisper against his lips, pressing your forehead to his, “We’ll talk later.”

”Yeah,” He nods, arching up into your embrace even though he knows he has to let you leave.

He calls out again before you leave, “Love you!” And you repeat it with a sad smile on your face, letting Carole take your hand while Nick and your dad sit at Bradley’s bedside. The last you see of him is his fading grin as you wave goodbye before the door shuts, and you’re in the hallway.

“Something happened in there,” She gushes, misplaced excitement shining from her eyes like a sunbeam, “I just know it! He was all lovey-dovey when you left, even moreso than usual. He really didn’t want you to go, angel.”

“I almost told him,” You mutter as Carole leads you to the elevator, nerves churning your stomach.

“What?” Her smile drops in surprise, and she stomps to a halt on the tiled floor. She presses the button, and when the elevator dings she ushers you inside.

“He asked me to be honest with him,” You recall, sick at the thought of how close you’d been to losing him, “And- and he was holding me, Carole, like he used to. And I couldn’t help it, I just- I wanted to tell him everything, I couldn’t stand lying to him and pretending nothing was wrong. But I- I don’t know if I can do that again. I don’t know if I can tell him the truth. I tried, and we got interrupted, I mean- isn’t that a sigh? Some sort of clue left by the universe to tell me to wait a little longer?”

“Baby I don’t think the universe is sendin’ you clues,” Carole looks sympathetically at you, “I think you’re lookin’ for reasons to run away again. I know I’m the one that told you to pretend, but that boy can read you like a book, and if he’s catchin’ on, maybe you ‘oughta give it up. I saw him in there, honey.” The door dings and slides open, and she takes your hand to lead you outside, “There’s nothin’ he wouldn’t forgive you for. He was clinging onto you like a leech, and I think he’d understand you were scared. Might not like it, but he’d understand.”

“He keeps saying that I’ll never lose him, or- or that he loves me, or that I can tell him what’s bothering me,” You gesture with your free hand as you walk to the parking lot, “And- and it feels so perfect! Like he knows exactly what I need to hear. Like I could tell him and nothing would change. But everything would change, and- and I don’t want that,” You suppress a sob as you reach Nick and Carole’s car, pulling open the door to the passenger’s side. 

She stashes her purse by your feet, stuffing the key into the ignition, “Baby, everything’s already changed. He just doesn’t know that. But he will soon, and once he does, he’s gonna realize why you’ve been acting so weird. If you were pullin’ it off, I’d say keep going. If he wasn’t asking questions, you could keep this up, ‘cause you’d be doing him a favor. That was the whole point, baby, to let him down nice and easy, give him a bit of time to adjust to the crash before confessing about the breakup. But I should’ve known he’d realize you were lyin' to him,” She scoffs, checking her mirrors, “That boy would notice you’d changed your haircut from just your voice on the phone. He knows you too well, honey, and if he’s askin’ all the right questions and you’re giving him all the wrong answers, that’s gonna stress him out. And that’s doing the opposite of what we want. If this is just gonna make things worse, I say tell him. But-” She backs out of the spot, en route to base to fetch his car, “Not yet. Wait until you’re home. Then he’s in a familiar environment, you can kneel by the bedside and grovel if you want,” She waves a hand in the air, “Just be honest with him baby, if it’s what he’s askin’ for.”

She barely lets you mull her words over before she starts again, “I think it’s a good time. You told me that when you left, you wish you hadn’t. And you’ve spent the last two days showing that to him, even if he doesn’t know that’s what you’re doing. He knows you love him, and I think he’ll forgive you if you confess that you were just scared of losing him. ‘Cause you can’t fake love like that, honey.” She eyes you through the mirror, “You can pretend y’all never broke up, but the way you love him, that’s not pretend, and he knows that.”

“I’ll tell him tomorrow,” You sniffle, “If he doesn’t know by then. I- I know I have to, even if it’s scary.”

“Atta girl,” She gushes, nearly flooring it at a green light in her excitement, “I’m proud of you, baby.”

“Don’t be,” You grumble, ‘Not yet. Not until I do it.”

“I know you will,” She decides, “You’ve never lied to me before.”

“Actually,” You gnaw on the inside of your cheek, “I have, once.”

She narrows her eyes, gives you a sideways glance as she makes a turn, “Oh, really? And when was that?”

“Uh, when we were in high school, I told you Bradley and I were staying at my place while my dad was gone,” Your face twists into an involuntary smile at the memory, “We went to Vegas.”

“What?” She shrieks, almost stomping on the breaks, “Vegas?”

“It was just for a night! And we didn’t gamble,” You scoff, “They wouldn’t let us into any casinos.”

“Ooh, you two,” She seethes, but it’s happened so long ago that she can’t be mad, not really, “Surprised y’all didn’t get married down there.”

“Actually,” You laugh, “We tried. But you weren’t there to sign off on it, and we were only 17.”

She shares a laugh with you at the memory, pulling into the security checkpoint outside of the naval base. You have to pass your ID over her, and you explain that you’re just picking up your partner’s car. They let you in, but you don’t think they like your presence very much, so you get the car and go as quickly as you can.

“It’s the motel just off the freeway,” You gesture in the direction of the place you’ve been staying, “We’ll load up the Bronco and meet back at our place.”

“See you there, babydoll,” Carole grins, already headed for the exit.

You roll up your window just as your phone buzzes, and you put the call on speaker while your phone balances on the cupholder.

“Hello?”

“Y/N,” Bradley’s voice bleeds through the crackly speakers. Then, like an attached toddler their first night away from mom, “I miss you.”

It’s just what you need to hear after your gut-wrenching conversation with Carole, and you croon while waving to the security officers on the way out, “I miss you too, Brad. I picked up your car. Didn’t want her sitting all alone on base.”

“Thanks, babe,” You can hear the grin in his voice, “Is my mom still with you?”

“No, she’s driving herself,” You merge lanes, brain on autopilot as you head for the motel, “And don’t ask what we’re doing, it’s a surprise.”

He scoffs; you’ve caught him, “Fine. They gave me lunch. It’s the same as yesterday.”

“Poor baby,” You coo, feeling more at home in Bradley’s Bronco than you had in your half-empty house, “I’ll make you something good for breakfast tomorrow, baby. Eggs, pancakes, waffles, sausage, bacon, fruit, whatever you want to eat.”

He takes a pause, then, “I have something inappropriate to say. But your dad’s still here, so I can’t.”

You let out a bark of bewildered laughter, especially when you can hear your dad’s voice in the background as he groans.

“I get the idea,” You promise him, and you hear Bradley huff a soft laugh into the speaker. You almost want to record the call, just to keep the sound forever.

“When are you guys coming back?”

“I don’t know, Brad,” You lament, tailing Carole as she heads for the freeway exit, “Hopefully before dinner. But if not, I’ll definitely be there when you get discharged, and I can drive you home.”

“And we can shower,” Bradley adds on to your sentence, eliciting another disgruntled sound from your dad, “And sleep.”

“And we can shower and sleep,” You promise, chest feeling light at the night’s plan. You’re pulling into the motel parking lot now, the dingy sign colored more in spiderwebs than in neon.

“I’ve gotta go, Brad.” You put the car in park, grabbing your phone and switching speaker off, “I love you. I’ll see you later, okay?”

He’s hesitant to answer, and you wish you didn’t have to hang up. You know he’s still uneasy about the way that your talk ended earlier, but he finally speaks up, “Alright. Love you, too.”

“So much,” You hum, “Love you so much.”

“So much,” He agrees, more of that audible grin in his voice, “See you later, angel.”

“See ‘ya,” You hum, and it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would to hang up, not after that.

Carole’s standing ready at the strip of doors, and you pull the small, rusty key out of your pocket. There’s nearly ten boxes stacked in your room, and you prop the door open with one as you gather anything that isn’t packed away.

You haven’t changed clothes much since being there, nor have you been keeping up with your hygiene as well as you should be, so the clean-up process feels like a day's worth, not two week’s worth. But you’re thankful for the easy pickup as you load it into a half-empty box, hauling it out the door and to the Bronco.

Packing the boxes goes fast when you work with Carole. It had been much more of a struggle to cart two at a time from your place to the motel room, but with a little maneuvering, all nine boxes fit snugly between her car and yours.

“Alright,” You dust off your hands, picking at the edge of your nail, “You ready?”

“Actually, you go home,” She decides, “And I’ll go to the party supply store. I’ll pick up some ‘Welcome Home’ stuff, and when I get back I’ll help you with the rest of the boxes, and we can set up together.”

“Perfect,” You heave a sigh of relief, “Thanks, Carole.”

“Of course, baby!” She seems to have a never-ending supply of optimism, one that you’re thankful for because you seem to harbor the opposite.

Hauling your boxes back into the house is unexpectedly the easy part. What’s harder is putting everything back, filling in the gaps in the bookshelf with your own volumes, stuffing the dresser with the clothes you’d chosen to take with you.

When Carole gets back you’re dragging your thumb over the shirt you’d taken off of your pillow, ready to fold it and destroy the evidence of its association with your two-week disappearance. She peeks into the bedroom, expecting to find you hard at work organizing your novels, and instead sees you sitting on the bed looking like you’re going to puke.

“Baby,” She hums, “What’s the matter?”

“He put this over my pillow,” You sniffle, staring down forlornly at the object that had offered comfort to Bradley when you hadn’t, “He slept with it.”

“Oh, baby,” Carole whispers, standing behind you and rubbing your shoulders, “He loves you. Isn’t that a good thing? Don’t you think it means everything’ll turn out okay?”

“What if he doesn’t want me back?”

For the first time, you say it out loud. You’ve insinuated it, sure, thought about it, but you’ve never said it yet. Not out loud. You voice the fear that’s been bouncing around like a balloon in your head, popping it and feeling the aftershocks flow through you. 

She’s quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say any more than you do. But she bends down, wraps her arms around your shoulders and hums, “He will, baby. He’s been sleepin’ with your shirt this whole time, he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t miss you.”

“But even if he misses me, I still hurt him,” You sniffle, “I- I left, is missing me enough for him to want me back in his life? What if I went too far? What if we can’t come back from this? What if I lose him forever, Carole?”

“He kept my ring.” She murmurs, her voice the calm to your storm. 

“What?”

“He kept it. Even though it wasn’t on your finger, he didn’t give it back to me. And he wouldn’t dare give that to anyone else, Y/N. It’s your ring, he knows it. That’s why he kept it, ‘cause he still wanted you to have it. He loves you even if you did hurt him, baby,” She sniffles, and you feel bad that you’ve made her cry, “That’s what love is. Sometimes you hurt each other, but if it’s love you find your way back. And what you’ve got is the strongest love I’ve ever seen.”

Your silence is enough of a reply, and you’re glad because it’s all you can muster. You can’t find the words to thank her, to tell her you hope she’s right, to beg to whatever deity exists for mercy. All you can say is, “I don’t wanna take it off,” As you stroke a finger down the shirt over your pillow.

“Wear it,” She suggests, pulling at the sweatshirt you’re wearing, “Put that on underneath it, baby. He won’t notice, and you can have it on you as a reminder that he misses you. Maybe it’ll give you the courage to tell him.”

“Okay,” You sniff, a stray tear drying sticky on your cheek as you stand. She turns you around and pulls you into a real hug, and you let her squeeze you before going to the bathroom to change.

The shirt smells like Bradley now that he’s slept with it for two weeks. You’re sure you’re just immune to your own scent, and that he could still find traces of it to lull him to sleep at night, but wearing it now feels just as comforting as you bet it felt for him to sleep with it.

When you wander out of the bedroom you find Carole in the living room. She’s standing on your coffee table with her right leg, and her left is on the arm of the couch. She’s pinning a banner to the wall, ‘Welcome Home Bradley!’.

“Hey honey!” She beams at the sight of you in your shirt, you’d forgone the jacket to not overheat while moving things around. 

“Do you need help?” You watch her drive a pin into the wall with her thumb, and she shakes her head as she reaches down for another one, “No, I’ve got this. You just take care of your boxes, I can handle the party.”

“Yeah, you get the fun part,” You tease, and she laughs.

“Darlin’, I wasn’t the one to take my puzzles and run. Now go put ‘em back, I’m sure they’re the first things Brad’ll notice are missing when he gets home.”

You head back into the bedroom without any complaints. It’s hard to put everything back. No, it’s nice to put everything back. What’s hard is pretending it was never gone in the first place; what’s hard is lying.

You slide a lone book into its place on the shelf, one last spot left beside a photo album. Your fingers brush over a gemstone on the cover and you tug at the hefty spine, catching the jam-packed book before it can fall.

“Wow,” You breathe, barely aware that you’re speaking out loud. The cover showcases Bradley pressed up against the hospital’s nursery glass, peering in on a very sleepy baby you snoozing in her bassinet with Carole holding him up. You’d been born shortly after Bradley, not even a year, and he’d been very excited to meet his new best friend at the hospital.

A flip to the first page finds you in your dad’s old apartment, sleeping in your crib while Bradley’s hand wraps around the bars he’d pulled himself up on. Then the next page showcases a photo of him in the crib, curled up in the space by your feet while you sleep peacefully in your own spot.

You take the photo out of its sleeve, flipping it over to read the inscription you know by heart on the back: Bradley’s attached to Y/N at the hip. Won’t sleep anywhere else.

The next photos are more of the same. Bradley holding you on the couch, a gummy grin on his face at the baby in his arms. His hands barely bigger than yours, handing you a toy fighter jet. Tummy time on a play mat, where he’s holding a rattle just out of reach to get you to crawl like he’d seen your parents do. A shot of you tugging on his wispy hair, then a shot of Nick dragging a crying Bradley into his lap while your dad holds your previously clenched fist open. They tell their own story.

You’d been fated best friends from the start, but as you age in the photos, your relationship changes. All of a sudden there’s puppy love in your gaze when you reach your tween years, braces in your mouth and hearts in your eyes. There’s a picture of Bradley teaching you how to skateboard, and you're holding his hands for dear life. You distinctly remember a fiery flush to your cheeks in that moment, and you’re glad the camera hadn’t captured it. There’s New Year’s Eve in your matching pajamas, you cradled in Bradley’s arms like they’d make you pose every year since you’d come into the world. It was cute when you were kids, then it was embarrassing when you were teenagers, and now it’s cute again. In the photo you’re looking at you can’t be more than fourteen, and you know the second the shutter clicked on the camera, you’d scrambled out of his arms like they were burning you. 

You flip through more pages, watching your relationship blossom from friends into lovers. All of a sudden you’re holding hands, you’re matching outfits, and you’re kissing when you think no one is looking. Then there’s the famous picture of Bradley on his 18th birthday, glaring at the camera with a box of condoms in his hands, courtesy of his dad. Funnily enough, your dad shares Bradley’s expression in the background. The inscription on the back of that one reads: Just making sure he’s safe! Don’t want any grandkids, not while I’m still in my glory days - Goose.

That New Year’s Eve photo is special. It’s you still cradled in Bradley’s arms like always, but you’ve leaned up to kiss him, and he’s leaned down to kiss you. You distinctly remember it being the first time you’d willingly kissed on camera in front of your parents, and the giddy smiles you’d forced into makeshift puckers are clear as day in the photo. 

The matching pajama sets you’ve outgrown together are all stored in a box marked ‘sentimental’, not one that you’d taken with you when you’d left. You have a current pair, red and black buffalo print bottoms with fuzzy black tops, and you plan on asking Bradley to wear them tonight.

You haven’t noticed, but a smile has grown on your face, etching itself into your features as you relive your love story. You flip through family vacations, holidays, birthdays, sports games, barbecues, a million family events that Bradley joined you at. There’s never any of you apart, even though he’d been moved around for his career, because no one has ever thought to take a picture of one of you without the other. There’s no Y/N in this book, there’s no Bradley, there’s only Y/N and Bradley, and that’s what you want to be for the rest of your life. You want to fill out the rest of this book with aging photos, clearer in quality while the old ones yellow. You want to stuff this book until the bindings rip, you want to look back through it one day in a rocking chair beside one of Bradley’s own, faces wrinkled and hair grayed. Your story can’t end here.

Your phone buzzes on the bed, and you drop the photo album there while you check your message. No surprise, it’s from Bradley.

- The doctor signed off, I can go home after dinner, which shouldn’t be too much longer. How’s it going over there?

That’s great! You type back, biting a smile off of your face as you respond. It’s residual from looking through the photos, but you have to remember, you’re not there yet. It’s going good. Your mom is scary agile.

- What’s she doing?

Can’t tell you ;)

- Damn! Thought I had you there. Your dad’s eating one of my cookies :(

Tell him I said to leave you alone!

- He says you’re not the boss of him.

Tell him your mom said to leave you alone.

- He says she’s not the boss of him.

Tell your dad to tell him to leave you alone. She’s his boss.

- My dad’s eating one too :( 

Those assholes! I’ll make you more, baby ❤

- I love you best. ❤

I love you too baby ❤

The lingering fear of a breakup - a real one this time, one that doesn't rewind itself amidst burning jet fuel - is stuck in the back of your mind, and you suspect it will be until you finally confess. But the photo album and Bradley’s messages have combined to lift your spirits, and filing your shoes back into their places doesn’t weigh you down as much as you suspected it would. You try to make them look haphazard, jumbling them with Bradley’s and turning a few of them upside down. You two are notorious for having out of control shoe collections, Bradley’s sneakers and your own shoes constantly tumbling out of the closet like a cartoon.

 By the time the sun starts setting early on your California dream you’re nearly done, there’s just a few last garments to slip into your closet. You do so while wrestling with the clothes that are already in there, a hefty collection that leaves little room for the dress you’re trying to wedge inside. Nevertheless, a too-full closet is better than a half-empty one.

“Sugar?” Carole calls from down the hallway, hopefully not precariously balanced on any furniture this time, “Nick says they’re just serving Brad his dinner.”

You finally manage to set the clothes right on their hangers, panting slightly as you withdraw from the closet, “Okay! I’m almost done. We have a lot of clothes.”

She laughs, “Yes you do! You should eat somethin’ before we leave.”

“There’s no food here,” You sigh, “The fridge is empty. I’ll have to go shopping later. I’ll just stop for fast food on the way.”

“Party’s all set up,” Carole nods, jerking her head back towards the hallway, “If you keep the lights off in the living room tonight, he won’t see it until tomorrow.”

“Okay. Are you coming over to celebrate?”

“Yeah, I was thinkin’ for breakfast,” Carole nods, “We can bring food?”

You laugh huffily, “I wasn’t kidding about there being nothing in the fridge. Anything’s appreciated, thanks, Carole.”

“Anytime, baby,” She beams, but reconsiders with a slightly furrowed brow, “Although, I hope this is the only time.”

“Me too,” You scoff, “Alright, let’s head back.”

True to your word, you pull through a fast-food drive-thru on the way back to the hospital. Carole knows Nick’s order, and you know your dad’s, hopeful that they’ll be tired of hospital cuisine and yearning for a burger instead.

However, when you get there, they’re waiting in the lobby, Bradley sat between them. You hadn’t realized how early they were letting him out, and Carole takes the bag of food from you so that you can properly hug Bradley. He stands the moment he sees you, eyes pooling with such urgency as he tries to respect the no-running rule of the hospital. You struggle just the same, and the moment you’re within arms reach of each other, tears start flowing. Bradley yanks you into his chest, almost tipping you forwards and himself backwards with the momentum of his hug. His chin nestles straight over your shoulder, as does yours to his, and it’s the kind of hug you get from him after a long deployment, maybe even more desperate now. His breathing is ragged beside your ear, but not from his medical conditions, from the desperation clogging his lungs. His fist is tight in the back of your sweatshirt but the fabric is loose on you, and it’s not a tight enough hold for him. His fingers scrabble for the shirt beneath the hoodie, gripping onto both garments and keeping you closer than you ever thought you could be with Bradley. Your hands immediately encircle his shoulders, and your fingers find purchase against the baby hairs at the back of his neck. You scratch through the ones at his nape, hearing him sniffle sharply where his chin rests on your shoulder. The hand that isn’t fisted in your clothes is tight to your hip, gripping you so hard that you can feel his nails through the jeans you’re wearing. It’s not painful, it’s just firm, and its strength is reassuring. It’s grounding to hug Bradley again, unobscured by breathing tubes, hospital beds, or prying nurses.

You hear someone’s phone camera sound off, but you’re far from discouraging it. In fact, you’re going to ask whoever it was to send you the photo later. The hug turns into an embrace, one where you sway lightly from side to side, anything that isn’t you or Bradley fading into the background. Your eyes are screwed shut but tears still cascade down your cheeks, melancholy waterfalls that drip off of the curve of your chin and stain Bradley’s t-shirt. He’s dressed in what he’d been wearing beneath his flight suit, the material thankfully not ripped or burnt thanks to the coveralls. You take the lead, pulling back, but he keeps the same level of contact with you. When your chin slips from his shoulder he grabs your face instead, using it to keep you pressed tight to his body. His eyes are teary themselves, streaks of the shimmery stuff down his cheeks and probably in his mustache, too.

“Hi,” You croak, smiling giddily through your tears. 

He smiles, though the chubbing of his cheeks nudges a few more tears out of his eyes, “Hi.”

You smear them away with the palm of your hand, and use your thumb to rid him of the ones clinging to his undereyes. His hands are on your cheeks, too, and he tries mirroring your ministrations, but his thumbs are too shaky to do so. For fear of poking your eyes out, he clamps his hands over your cheeks again, content with holding you while your tears run over the hills and valleys of his fingers.

“You’re standing,” You marvel, ‘I thought you’d be in a wheelchair.”

“It hurts a little bit,” Bradley admits with a slight grimace, and you back away like you’ve been struck. He doesn’t let you get far at all, dropping your face to tug you back by your waist, “-but I’d rather break another rib than let you go.”

“Sap,” You accuse, and Bradley laughs.

His lips twist into a sheepish smile, “Maybe. You can be my tree. I’m stuck on you.”

You sniffle, brow furrowing, “Huh? ‘Cause of the sap thing?”

“Yeah,” He laughs, “Isn’t that what it means? Sticky and sweet like tree sap?”

“I don’t know,” You breathe bashfully, your voice rife with part confusion and part sheepishness, “I guess that makes sense. But I’ve never been called a tree before.”

“I’ll work on my flirting,” He promises, stroking his thumbs up and down your sides in soft, soothing motions, “Can we go home now?”

You nod, “You should hug your mom first.” Only then does Bradley remember that you’re not the only other person in the room, turning in your grip to see your mini crowd of adoring onlookers.

He chuckles, “Sorry. Hi, mom.”

“Hi baby,” She gushes, letting him squeeze her in a hug. He’s much more gentle with her, out of longing for you, not disrespect.

Nick reaches over to ruffle his hair and your dad nudges you sideways, “Happy to have him back?”

“Yeah,” You gush, a breathless whisper, “Nervous, though,” You admit, “What if he slips in the shower, or something? Or- or some freak accident happens and he doesn’t wake up?”

“He will,” Your dad slings an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you close by your shoulders, “He’ll be alright, kid. And hopefully by tomorrow he’ll remember everything, maybe look at some pictures tonight to jog his memory. Show him stuff you took of these past few weeks, the places you went or the food you ate.”

You don’t have any pictures of your pitiful motel room, nor the candy bars you’d raided the minifridge for, but you wouldn’t show them to Bradley if you did.

You nod, breaking away when Bradley searches for you after his hug with Carole, “Thanks, dad.”

“You gonna be okay getting settled tonight, Brad?” Nick asks, already bringing a french fry to his mouth from the bag in his hand. Your dad has your food as well as his own, and you take your bag back from him as Bradley nods.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Thanks, guys.”

Everyone says their hasty goodbyes, and your hug with Carole lasts a second longer than you hope anyone notices.

“Tell him.” She whispers against your ear, the words a feather light breath, “He loves you.”

“I’ll feed you in the car,” Bradley grabs the bag of food from your hand when you nudge him towards the exit, “Can I have fries?”

“You’ve been on a diet of chicken and potatoes for two days,” You take the hand that he offers you, curling your fingers around his, “You can have the whole burger if you want, Brad.”

Bradley stops short in front of the bronco when he sees it, “There she is!”

“She’s here,” You laugh, “Perfect condition. The air freshener’s still good.”

“Poor baby,” He heads for the passenger’s seat, swiping a hand over the hood of the car on his way, “She probably thought we forgot about her.”

He settles comfortably in the passenger’s seat, though you’re sure it feels awkward to be there in his own car. He throws his head back against the seat and sighs, long and loud, a noise he would have made fun of his dad for making mere years ago.

“Comfy?” You glance sideways at him, your food in his lap while he rests against the seat. He nods, reaching for the bag as you start up the engine.

“Here baby,” He calls, popping two fries in front of your mouth just before you turn out of the parking lot, “Fries.”

You carefully bite them out of his hand, tipping your head back to get them fully into your mouth. You mumble ‘thanks’ through them, and you’re not sure if he can make out what you’re saying, but you hope it’s obvious.

“I can’t wait to get in bed,” He groans, “I know it’s only been a few days, but I can’t remember being there for three weeks.”

“It’s cold without you,” You hum forlornly, checking your blind spot before merging, your hands stiff on the wheel. Your words leave more of an aftertaste on your tongue than the fries do, and it’s an unpleasant one. They mean more than you let on, and your brain is clouded thick with the worry of sleeping in a cold bed for the rest of your life. 

There’s a moment of silence that Bradley lets follow your words, then he promises, “I’ll be there tonight. And every night after that.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Burger?”

He laughs, leaning in his seat when you turn, “Burger.”

He holds the food up to your mouth, letting you take a bite that smears sauce over your mouth. He takes a napkin, cleaning up after you and dabbing all of the mess away. You’re absolutely certain that if you weren’t on the road, he would have kissed it off. You make a mental note to eat just as messily when you get home, for experimental purposes.

“Can I have a bite?” He asks tentatively, and you turn at a red light to smile and nod.

“‘Course, Brad. I meant it, if you want it you can have the whole thing.”

“I don’t want you to go hungry,” He hums, taking a chunk to the left of your bite mark, “Thanks, babe. Fuck, that's good.”

“Did they finish your cookies?” You exit the freeway, muscle memory guiding you home.

Bradley speaks through a mouthful of burger, unpleasant to hear but somehow endearingly domestic, like he’s not worried about looking handsome for you. “Yeah. I got one more, but they mowed through the rest.”

“Those bitches,” You hiss, and he laughs, “Okay, we’ll bake tomorrow. But I’m keeping the vanilla away from you.”

He scoffs, “Always with the vanilla. I drank it one time!”

“One time is enough for a lifetime ban!” You insist, turning onto your street, “Okay, you shower and I’ll eat, then we can get into bed.”

“Sounds good,” He drawls, stuffing your food back into its bag and swapping it to you for the keys, “I’ll be quick in the shower.”

“No rush,” You croon, holding the hand that he offers you as you take on the front walkway together, “Don’t hurt yourself because you’re too eager to get into bed. It’ll be there even if you take your time.”

You’re bound for the kitchen and Bradley the bedroom, but you remember you have to keep the lights off so that he doesn’t see your decorations. You send him off with a kiss at the hallway, intent on watching him leave before setting up at the table.

“Goodbye,” You hum, standing with your lips puckered in the doorway of the hall, “If you need help, just yell for me.”

“Will do,” He nods, puckering his own lips and pressing them to yours with a cartoonish smack! You watch his ginger walk towards the bedroom, his hips off balance as his ribs ache in his chest.

Once you’re in the clear you flick the kitchen light on, choosing to stand at the counter instead of dirty the table. You busy yourself with your phone, tapping on an impatient text from Carole: ‘Have you told him yet?’

Not yet. You write back, munching on a french fry, Not in the car. He didn’t ask, either.

- Don’t lose your nerve, you can almost hear the critical tone of her voice just by reading her message, The longer you lie, the more he’ll worry about you.

I know. I’ll tell him.

- ❤️

“Babe?” You hear Bradley call over the stream of the shower, “Babe!”

You abandon the last few fries in the container, stuffing your phone into your pocket to rush to his aide. Horror flashes through your mind, visions of Bradley bleeding down the drain or hunched over in pain.

All you see when you burst into the bathroom is him looking like a puppy in the rain, a pitiful pout on his face as water runs down his face and through his mustache.

“I can’t wash my hair,” He laments, “It hurts.”

You can’t help but coo, “Oh, baby. Lemme help you.”

“Thanks,” He mumbles, “I already have the shampoo.”

True to his word, there’s shampoo smeared over his hands. Apparently he’d tried his best, but couldn’t move well enough with his broken ribs. You try not to laugh at his misfortune, especially because he’s in pain, but he’s just too cute to ignore. You try to muscle down the thought that this might be the last time you ever shower with Bradley, even if you’re not really in the water with him. You wet your hands, then wipe the shampoo off of his palms, reaching for his scalp.

“I’m sorry I’m making you stand in front of me naked and we’re not having sex,” Bradley huffs, “Believe me, if I thought I could, I’d be jumping you right about now.”

“It’s okay,” You chuckle, muffling the sound into Bradley’s forehead that you kiss chastely, “We should hold off on sex, at least until your ribs are healed.

Or until you know the truth.

“They don’t hurt too bad now,” Bradley muses, “But when I raised my arms to shampoo, it was really bad.”

“I’ll reach for things for you,” You promise, scrubbing shampoo into his scalp. It knocks loose leftover ash from his accident, and it flows down the drain in a swirl of gray bubbles.

“Oh, fuck,” For not having sex, Bradley’s making some awfully pornographic sounds, “That feels good.”

“I’ll bet,” you hum, “Can’t imagine having ash in my hair for that long.”

“It’s not pleasant. Oh god, babe,” He groans, “Hurry up and rinse it out, I’m gonna fall asleep standing up.”

“Okay! Okay,” You laugh, scrubbing in one last circle at the nape of his neck then reaching for the showerhead, “Have you washed your body already?”

“Yeah,” He murmurs, letting the water flow through his hair and rinse the shampoo out, “Oh my god, this is what heaven feels like.”

“Come on,” You smile, reaching for a towel, “Do you need help drying off?”

“You just wanna feel up my thighs,” Bradley accuses, and you laugh good-naturedly.

“Nope. Ass.” You admit, “But if you can do it yourself, then go ahead.”

“No!” He catches you as you stuff the towel to his chest, pulling you back towards the shower, “Uh, I need help. I think you should wipe down my very toned chest and my tight butt.”

“Oh, really? That’s what you’re having trouble with?” You snicker, and Bradley nods proudly.

“Yep. Can’t get my hands over my shredded back either, such a shame.”

“Alright, you flirt,” You scoff, “Turn around.”

You start on his back, and of course, it’s very fit. It’s nothing you haven’t touched before, in fact, you’re surprised there’s no scars there from your fingernails, but this is more intimate, more romantic, more sweet. This is love, not lust. You scrub the towel over his skin, wiping the water droplets away and rubbing into his tight muscles. You take extra care to dry off the small of his back, smoothing the towel down over his ass, too. Despite his earlier cheekiness, he doesn’t make any comments while you’re working. You wrap the towel around his thighs, pressing a kiss to his hip as you bend down to dry his calves off. He stands still to let you get his ankles dry, and you tap his foot to turn him around.

Now he’s looking down at you as you towel off his calves again, getting any splotches of water you may have missed before. You dry out the soft tuft of hair at his groin and move to his chest before you can tempt yourself, not wanting your first sexual encounter after a life-threatening plane crash to be a blowjob up against the shower wall. Especially not before you tell him the truth.

Now that you’re on your feet you’re face-to-face, though yours is bent slightly to track any water droplets you might have missed on his shoulders. You towel off his underarms carefully, making sure not to aggravate his muscles that are already bleeding pain through his gut. You swipe the towel over his neck, and in doing so, you’ve set your hand just below his chin. It’s as natural as breathing to slide it up his jaw, and he’s already staring at you, breath shaky as you return his gaze.

He moves first, but you take his cue right away. He leans in to kiss you and you’re happy to press your mouth to his own, not caring that there’s a drop of water leftover between his fingers that transfers to your skin when he cups your face.

“Baby,” He whimpers, desperate and longing, “I- I missed you.”

There’s tears beading at the corners of his eyes, and you manage a sad smile when you wipe them away, “Why, silly? I was only gone for a few hours.”

“I know. I just- I’m real shaken up,” He admits, “I- I don’t even remember the crash and that’s the scary part. I almost died and I’ve got no clue what happened. I feel lost, like- like I’m still stalling or something, just waiting to crash.”

“I’m so sorry,” You croon through your own tears, “Brad, that must be so scary, I- I can’t even imagine.”

“I just need you,” He breathes, clutching at your shoulders like they’ll recover his plane, “Just don’t leave, please.”

“Sweetheart,” You coo, equally endeared and saddened by his sudden panic, “We're not at the hospital anymore, there's no visiting hours. Why would I leave? We're home, we’re gonna get changed, and then we’re gonna go to sleep. You’re safe now, okay?”

“Okay,” He nods, voice a mere whisper, “Okay, let’s sleep.”

“Clothes first,” You remind him through a cheeky grin, and the expression scrunches your tear-stained cheeks, cracking the stiffened substance, “We’re sleeping.”

“Alright, alright,” He laughs as you poke at his bare chest, “Will you help me? I managed to bend over and slide my t-shirt off but I don’t think putting something on will be as easy.”

“Mhm. I was hoping,” You reach for the sets of matching pajamas, holding them up enticingly, “You’d match with me?”

He laughs, the sound thick and genuine in his bruised chest, “Of course. I won’t look as good as you, though.”

“Yeah, my mustache is better,” You sigh, scratching a nail over your upper lip that’s morphing into a grin. You whirl on him with his shirt, helping ease his arms into the fabric and stretching the neck hole over his head so that he doesn’t have to bend down. All in all, it works, even if the neckline is a little stretched. He doesn’t need help with his pants, but you feel compelled to do it anyways, sliding his boxers and then the soft material up his legs and tying it tight at the waistband.

“Thanks, honey.” He murmurs, bending at the waist and sitting on his side of the bed, “Fuck, that’s nice.”

“Lay down,” You push against his chest, helping him recline against his pillows, “I’ll be right back, B.”

You change quickly, too eager to crawl into bed beside Bradley to care that you’ve left one bite of burger and a few lone fries on the counter. Ants be damned, you’ll clean up tomorrow. When you emerge from the closet you wriggle happily beneath the covers next to Bradley, flicking the light by the doorway off so that all that’s left is your bedside lamp.

When you settle on your pillow he’s already looking at you, and the tip of his nose bumps your own. You melt into a girlish giggle, something that a teenager would produce after a particularly bad pickup line and a single red rose.

“Hi,” You gush, overjoyed to have him so close again. You kiss his nose in your fervent enthusiasm, and he smiles sleepily against his pillow.

“Hi,” He hums, reaching for your waist and pulling you close, “C’mere.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” You stiffen, but he molds your body to his anyways, “Brad, be careful.”

“I will be! I said it before, you can’t break me. Just let me hold you.”

You croon a sad sound as he wraps you in his arms, a sound of longing, of adoration, of grief. He clocks it as sweetness, though, and holds you close. Your face is buried in his chest and you feel his lips move against your scalp when he speaks.

“Y/N,” He starts, and your heart rate spikes at just your name, “About earlier-”

“Tomorrow.” You blurt, anguish rising in your chest, “Brad, can we- can we talk tomorrow? I’m not trying to hide from you,” You promise, but you’re nestled into his chest and muffling your voice, “I trust you with the way that I'm feeling, I just- I just want to sleep. I want to breathe for a minute. And we can talk tomorrow, is that okay?”

He takes a moment to deliberate, really, truly thinking about it. While he does so, your hands tighten in his shirt, desperately clinging to him. But eventually he nods, disjointedly so into the crown of your head, “Okay.” His hands tighten around your waist as he speaks, and you melt into his embrace, scooting impossibly closer. “Okay, honey, we’ll talk tomorrow. Let’s just sleep.”

Settling into his embrace has never been so easy. Since the moment you'd been in them for the first time only hours old in the hospital, you’d known his arms were made for holding you. They’ve been yours for as long as you can remember, even longer than that according to the photo album you’d skimmed through earlier. Bradley had been the third person to hold you, second only to your parents. Sure, he couldn’t remember it either, and Nick and Carole were probably doing most of the work keeping you balanced in his little lap, but the point is, he was made for holding you, and you were made for being held by him. Your face tucks so naturally under the curve of his chin and your lips press even easier to his throat, kissing at his voice that you love so much. It comes out to thank you for the adoration in a gentle hum, one that thrums against your lips. 

His hands revel in their access to the extent of your back, brushing and roving and stroking over every inch of the space he’s granted. It’s ticklish but you don’t dare squirm, letting his fingers send miniscule bolts of electricity through your skin.

“I love you,” He reminds you as he holds you close, the sleepiness fogging his brain clear as day in his voice, “I really, really do.”

“I love you too, Bradley.” You promise, kissing up his chin to his lips. The pecks you plant there are short, sweet, and chaste, but when you’re done laying them over his face you decide that you want to fall asleep facing him, not hidden away in his chest. Sure, it’s warm and safe there, but you can’t drift off to his sweet face if you can’t see it.

Your solution is to plop your head back onto your pillow, throwing a leg over his waist to keep yourself close. His eyes are droopy, and hold all of the tender sweetness of the puppies he so often resembles. He’s clearly exhausted, and your own eyes slip shut at the sight of his struggling to stay open.

“Night, Brad.” You yawn, settling against your pillow with the tip of your nose brushing his own, “Welcome home.”

“Night, baby. Love you,” He gushes, as if you hadn’t just exchanged the words seconds prior. But it feels good, it feels right, so you say it back.

“Love you, too.” You use the last of your energy to reciprocate, sleep taking hold of you in its comforting embrace. You slip away like sand into unconsciousness, all of your thoughts about love, and life, and Bradley, and none of the horrific possibility of his memories returning. Nothing’s going to ruin this moment for you, not now.

feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!

[kalki-tarot]

Channeled love letter from your soulmate 💌

Pick a pile <3

1 - 2 - 3

4 - 5 - 6

from left to right — Instinctively select the picture that feels right to you, whether based on your thoughts or the desires of your inner self. Choose the one that resonates with you, keeping in mind that this reading is meant to be general in nature and may not resonate with everyone.

Disclaimer — The images I used to select a pile were sourced from Pinterest, I hope the reading will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun.

⌗ Check masterlist for more ! 🧿✨️

Pile 1

Hi baby! 👋 how are you? Tell me I'm listening to you. I can listen to you for hours, i just love your voice ya know!

I want to make you my princess 👸💓 No, you are my QUEEN!!

l'd leave this world for you my darling! I'd buy you any item you want. I love your eyes, i get lost in them. 🥺 I wanna look into your eyes forever!

Ahh, i can't resist being near you. Don't ever leave my side. It hurts when we are apart, i hate it even when we are just away for a few hours :(

I miss you sm! Time moves so fast with you around me! I get lost in you that I'm not aware of time passing by. We are getting older day by day, look how far we've come in this journey of love!

Everything moves so fast, it scares me! Time changes but me and you never. We have the same love for eachother. Aren't you proud of us?

With you, I just smile. I'm not aware of my sufferings when I'm with you baby.

I wanna go on dates with you, just like we used to before. I hate it when we are apart even it's just for a moment. Love me forever, be my forever please. Love you baby 💓

Please leave feedback in comments! Sending Lots of love <3

Pile 2

Wait ! Did I tell you how beautiful you are !? Just like a ball of sunshine. I get so mushy just from admiring your cuteness. You make me blush.

In a world full of negativity, cheating partners, situationships, hook ups etc. Aren't we lucky to have eachother for eternity as each other's loving a loyal partners?

We should be grateful as not everyone receives true love in their lives amidst these fake people.

Like would be so meaningless without love right? When you are with me everything is good for me, even the bad things.

I want to go on a cruise with you. It's my dream.

You are my love, you are in my prayers. I'm so passionate for you. Don't let these obstacles get in our way, don't be shy with me. You can say that you love me.

I get nervous around you too. Or we can just look in each other's eyes?

Be my life partner. I want to spend the rest of my life with you please. Not just life, i want you for an eternity.

If I could ask god for one wish, I'd ask for you in every lifetime. Everything is okay when you are around.

I can tell you my pains and sorrows and I can listen to yours. I get strength from your smiling, happy face. With you, earth is like heaven for me.

Isn't it beautiful that we are two bodies one soul? Even if I die, I'll come back to you, I promise.

Please leave feedback in comments ! Sending Lots of love ❤️

Pile 3

I'm in love with you. Time stops when I look at you. I can admire you for hours. I'm at peace with you.

You can call me a fool, but you are just like a fairy and I'm just a human, mesmerized by your enchanting beauty.

You give me peace, you voice, your soft hair, your eyes, everything about you makes me feel calm. You are a part of my soul.

I want to make you mine. I will spend all my nights in all the ups and downs of your life. I will be there in the bad times too, darling.

I'd write songs and poems about you. When you smile, it feels like heaven.

I really love you, trust me.

I really love you trust me.

I really love you, trust me (Idk they're just repeating this. They wanna make you trust in their purity of love)

Yes you can call me a fool whatever you want. But I'm madly in love with you.

Days and nights pass. I fear your absence. Life stops in your absence.

I'll do anything you want, I'll give you a bouquet of roses. Trust me, I love you.

You'll get addicted to me. (not in a bad way) You'll want me in your arms day and night. I know you want me. But you show that you don't, i know everything. I don't know what should I do, you too don't tell me. It's bad that you hide it from me. Don't do it, cuz i love you. Your nights would be sleepless without me. (Not in an nsfw way) Look closely into my heart, you'll find yourself.

Please leave feedback in comments ! Sending Lots of love ❤️

Pile 4

There is a limit to your emotional and physical capabilities, I know you are tired of telling everyone this and no one is listening to you, but be aware that I'm here for you, I'm listening to all of your needs. I know no one knows those things about your past, but don't let yourself fall.

Look at your passion for it! You are walking circles within yourself. I'm aware of everything but I can't do anything about it except to be there for you and to listen to you.

We are bound within our own worlds for now. Wait for me. If we lose our hopes now then how will me meet? I know life is teaching you so much. It's the same for me. But remember we are getting close to each other day by day.

Everyone left you at your worst, and your heart doesn't accept this. I know all of that. Please hold on a little longer I'm coming towards you.

Since the day you've stepped into my life, it's been sincerely great for me dear.

My destiny is written with your name. I don't know how to live without you, love? (They're a but emotional telling you this)

My heart hurts seeing you like this, everything will be okay. I learned how to live from you, but never without you. Can you please not cry? It hurts me.

And yes, every compliment I ever gave you was honest. Life feels like life with you. It's colorful with you. You are the sky to my earth. I look upto you.

Come here and hug me. This connection is for a thousand lifetimes. Don't hide your tears with me.

Our connection is a secret, i haven't told anyone about this. I remember you from our past life.

I miss you every second that passes. I feel alone without you. Do you too? Don't worry I'm on my way to you.

Lots of love, 💓

Yours Only ✨️💕🧿

Please leave feedback in comments !

Pile 5

My heart doesn't accept this. It's stubborn and doesn't listen to me. It's not willing to mend the broken strings.

Why can't we forgive our mistakes? I'm sacred everything will be lost.

I don't know, my heart doesn't believe in it. Why can't we be together? All the promises are broken now?

The relationship which grew so beautifully like a rose, why is it just thorns now? My heart doesn't recognize itself. I don't recognize myself.

We gambled our happiness. No one know about this. No one knows our pain.

Our silence keeps screaming. You might be happy without me, but I'll be not.

I don't pray now, I've lost hope.

Why should I be embarrassed about telling people that I'm nothing without you?

See, you're making me go crazy. But I still want you, there's no other place I wanna be except near you.

Time will heal my pain. Who knows I'll be there tomorrow or not. Please accept me. Your thoughts keep me awake at night.

Pile 6

The night of our union will be magical. It'll bring lots and lots of happiness and healing.

I can sense the naughtiness in your eyes.

I want to have a child with you. The house will be empty no more.

You are like a dream I never wanna wake up from.

This world feels wrong, you are the only right thing in my life.

You've become my everything. My laugh, my cries. Everything.

This world tells me that my love is unrequited, atleast i can admire you from afar.

You are the last reason I'm living. And the first reason of my happiness.

Please leave feedback in comments!

Thanks for reading. Please be kind in the comments, I'm just a beginner so don't take these readings seriously. Take what resonates. And ignore grammatical errors please, english is not my first language.

[buggybambi]

Imagine you and Spencer not knowing how to celebrate your first Valentine's together! He just shows up with roses like "I think this is what I'm supposed to do??"

oh my gosh yes!! hope this is good my love ʚɞ - wc: 357 | nav post - request guidelines

The knock on your front door was unexpected, to say the least.

You'd been getting ready for work that morning, preparing yourself for the FBI office to been decorated with the same string of hearts hanging from pillar to pillar, Penelope spoiling everyone with flowers and wearing her favorite heart patterned dress, forcing you to wear the silly heart headband she adored seeing you in. It was tradition, after all.

But, this year was different. This year, you and Spencer Reid were an official couple. That meant something, apparently, and Valentine's Day was apparently supposed to be different for couples. Which is probably why Spencer was now at your door with roses. Lots of roses.

"Hi." You greet hesitantely after opening the door to say hi to him, when he pulled the roses out from behind his back. "Hi. I texted Garcia since she's the one who told me about couples and Valentine's Day which didn't even start as a celebration of love- actually it started as a celebration of the Feast of Saint Valentine which fell on February 14 after the pope declared it so.." He stops himself. ".. I got you these." He holds the flowers out.

You give a small smile, taking them. "Thank you, Spence, they're.. they're gorgeous." You grab a vase and quickly fill it to water, setting the roses in them and placing it on your dining room table as you grab your bag and a box. "I got you a gift, too. They're not flowers but, I thought of you."

He opens the lid, laughing, holding up a heart tie first then the book: "The History of Valentine's Day."

He smiles, pressing his lips against yours for a quick yet still sweet kiss. "Happy first Valentine's Day." He whispers against your lips. You grin. "Happy first Valentine's Day to you, Spence. You did good." You say softly back, as he laughs again.

He takes your hand in his, waiting for you to close and lock your front door, before he walks with you to the car. "Garcia's really gonna love the tie." He says, making you giggle (which makes him smile).

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! shine on, shine on!

- mae:)

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: thanks + what's next

THANK YOU

I want to thank everyone that has liked, reblogged and commented on this fic. I know one-shots are all the rage on tumblr, so I wasn't sure how this multi-chaptered fic would be received. I've been blown away by the overwhelming support and engagement that it has garnered.

The idea for this fic came to me on a whim. I had no idea where I was going with it at the start, but I am happy with where it's ended. I put my readers through a lot of heartache, but I promised to make you happy in the end, and I hope I have 💜

SPECIAL THANKS:

(please know I appreciate you all, just want to give some shoutouts. i know sometimes you don't know what to comment and trust me, liking and reblogging is enough, but as a writer i look forward to the feedbacks/reactions in comments so much and wanna thank some of those folks!)

@stayatinykatsy - You've been rocking with me since the beginning! December 9th, 2023, to be exact. It's basically our anniversary now. THANK YOU!

@ehstay - MY LOVE! You found me on ao3 first, then came over to tumblr. You literally said "I'd follow you anywhere" and ngl, that's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. I've always looked forward to your comments! And you checking in on me when I was M.I.A., made me feel all warm and tingly 💜 THANK YOU!

@tarebearclaire - One of the few that know my secret identity. I have appreciated your live-reactions to the last few chapters so, so much. I know with comments people tend to summarize, understandably. But getting to read your thoughts as you go through the story in real-time was AMAZING. THANK YOU! 💜

@chanssoftgalaxy - Your commentary is legendary. Thank you for staying consistent with it, because I was waiting on it after every chapter! And thank you for stepping up and offering to help edit. You're a real one for that. And so amazing at it! THANK YOU! 💜

@valworld17 - Your username is another that I started checking in for on the comments. Thank you for supporting this story, and sending such thoughtful asks to clarify things plot details! THANK YOU! 💜

@krayzieestay - Another OG. You've been with me for such a long time! I'm glad you stuck out the rollercoaster ride. THANK YOU! 💜

@stressymessyana - Your username alone always made me chuckle and your reactions had me dying! THANK YOU! 💜

@sunnyhonie - You've also been here for quite a while. Now that it's complete you can go back and binge it in one sitting. Please, take breaks to touch grass, though. THANK YOU! 💜

@sailor--sun - Yet another day one reader! I became familiar with your username early on, and always smiled seeing it in my notifications. THANK YOU! 💜

@straycat420 - I've been seeing you reblog everything as you conduct your re-read and always check your hashtags, they're hilarious. Now that the story is finished, I can't wait to hear your final thoughts! THANK YOU! 💜

@dessianna1 - Love, love, love your comments to pieces. You had me literally laughing out loud. THANK YOU! 💜

@hityoulikebahng - Such in depth and thoughtful comments that offered so much insight to how each chapter made you feel. It means so much to me. THANK YOU! 💜

@abeautifulthingcalledskz - That beautiful ask you sent me is going to live in my heart forever. I want you to know that. Feedback like that really sticks with us writers. Even though the SKZ house is over, feel free to slide in my DM's anytime, my love. THANK YOU! 💜

Also, thank you to: @tsunderelino . @hyunjinhoexxx . @tenshimara . @stephanieeeyang . @mxnlapinn . @bangchan-plz . @lostinheavensworld . @ilovecb97 . @grlcbrd . @skzruby . @ihrtlix . @sweartogoddess . @teti-menchon0604 . @zandra-42 . @maqqiekwon . @hanniesbubuwife . @deepblueocean97 . @iamthedollface . @gnabnahcbby . @berntbang . @thejentheredhead . @katt-00

And countless others! These are just some of the names I recall seeing consistently or have sent asks/DM's, but is in no way an all inclusive list, nor is it meant to diminish anyone else's support. I've truly appreciated you ALL.

SO! What's next?

I mentioned in a previous ask that while I don't have current plans on writing another full length SKZ fanfic, I will do one-shots and/or a short series. And I'm open to asks/prompts/suggestions.

Outside of that, I intend to work on some original stories, too. In part, due to all the encouraging words I received from you guys. They touched a special place in my heart that has doubted myself for too long.

I'm considering turning The SKZ House into an original story with new characters, but same plot, as well as the incomplete Summer in Seoul. If you're interested in being notified of when that happens (self publishing and paying for a professional editor will be a nightmare but I'm determined to get through it), let me know and I'll keep you posted!

I do have a favor to ask regarding that, though. If you guys could kindly drop some of your favorite scenes from The SKZ House in a comment/ask/DM, I'll love you forever (I already do, tho). I know I'll have to make some cuts to what I've already written, but wanna make sure I keep in the parts that you all loved!

Anyways. I think that's all for now 🥹 But this isn't goodbye, it's just a see you later! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

[lydiadeetzgf]

The Great Chess Tournament pt. 1

Benjicot Blackwood x fem!oc

summary: The princess's adopted daughter has to choose a betrothed, and her best way of doing that is through a chess tournament.

word count: 1.05k

warning: none

Author’s note: please let me know what you think of this chapter in the comments! I’m always open to feedback!

The same year Prince Jacearys was born Princess Rheanrya adopted a daughter from an orphanage to show go will towards the common folk. They did not know anything about this girl, whether she was noble or not, what house she was from or what region. All they knew was that her name was Anastasia.

When Anastasia turned six and ten, the princess decided it was time for her to find a betrothal. Both her brothers were already set to be betrothed. The princess sent out ravens to all the houses that were willing to propose to an orphan. Not many were, but they wished to make alliances with the Princess.

Anastasia was summoned to her parent’s chambers in dragonstone to discussed what they had done. The guard outside the door opened it for her announcing her arrival.

"Anastasia." Rheanrya smiled at the girl gesturing her to come close to her and Daemon. The princess and her husband were sitting on chairs by the fireplace.

"You wished to see me?" Anastasia asked coming closer.

"We have some news." Rheanrya said. Anastasia looked at the pair confusedly, wondering what the news was.

"We have decided that is it time for you to be betrothed." daemon cut in.

"What? why?" Anastasia asked to upset by the news, she found it unfair that she had to married and she knew that no lord would want an orphan.

"It is only fair as your brothers both have betrothals." Rheanrya try to calm the girl.

"No lord is going to want to marry me." Anastasia frowned.

"And do you think that sweet girl?"

"Because I'm an orphan." Anastasia eyes started to tear up at the thought, "What lord would love an orphan?"

"Sweet girl, many lords have agreed to meet you."

"Really?" She looked surprised. "Well, if I am going to meet with these potential suitors, will it be my choice?"

"Yes, sweet girl. I wish to give you the same opportunity that my father, the King gave me." Rheanrya nodded.

"Then I wish to do it differently."

"How do you mean?" Daemon leaned forward in his seat, interested in what she had to say.

"I wish to challenge them in a chess game." The girl smirked. Her parents looked at each other confused by what she meant.

"Why so?" Daemon asked again.

"You can learn a lot about someone in chess." Anastasia explained, "And I am one of the best chess players in the realm Jace said."

A few days had passed, and the princess had called all the lords and their sons who had accepted to the marriage tour to come to Dragonstone to meet Anastasia. The morning of the arrival of the houses Anastasia was in the library with her brothers and sisters playing cards.

"So what are you going to make them do, sister?" Jace asked looking up from his hand at Anastasia.

"Well, mother and father are allowing me to do a chess tournament." Anastasia replied making Luce laugh.

"Really? Why would you do that?" Luke asked.

"I want to see if they can beat me."

"Like that can happen." Baela smirked. "That's nearly impossible."

"That's the idea."

The door to the library opened and the children turned when a guard told them the houses had arrive and they were needed in the great hall. A fest was begin held as it was the first day of the marriage tour, the family was seated at the end of the great hall and the noble and minor house were seated all the tables around the hall.

Jace, begin the kind but protective brother made in a point to tell Anastasia about who everyone was and if they would be good matches for her. “That’s Oscar Tully, heir to Riverrun.” Jace pointed at a young boy Anastasia’s age seated with his grandshire.

Luce decided to also give his two-sense into who would be suitable for his sister, “you would do well in the Riverlands, sister. The air is cooler, and the grass is greener. Which you like.”

“That is true.” Anastasia nodded in agreement. The truth is she hadn’t really thought much about where she would like to end up in the future as she didn’t think much about it. So she was willing to hear any advice that would be given.

“Speaking of the Riverlands. That’s Aeron Bracken.” Jace continued pointing at a boy in yellow on another table. “A knight, so he would be able to protect you.”

“Yes, but his he a good knight?” Anastasia questioned give her brother a look.

“That is the question.” Luce added.

“And over there we have the Lannisters.” Jace nodded to a sea of red and gold.

“I’d rather not.” Anastasia made a face.

“Good idea, Ana.” Luce sniggered sipping at his drink.

“What about him?” Ana asked nodding to a boy in black and red, who’s house was in the far corner of the hall.

“That’s Benjicot of House Blackwood. Heir of Raventree Hall.” Jace replied. Him and Luce looked at each other in worry, Ana gave the two a questioning look.

“Why are you looking at each other like that? What’s wrong with him?”

“They called him ‘Bloody Ben’ because of his ruthlessness on the battlefield.” Jace replied.

“I don’t think you’ll like him, Ana.” Luce continued, “we don’t want you with someone so violent. Trust us.”

Before Ana could ask more, the princess stood up next to her to make an announcement. “Thank you all for coming. As you know we are here for the marriage tour of my daughter, Lady Anastasia. However there will be a twisted.” This caused all the Houses to look around confused and mumble questions to one another. “Anastasia has requested that each of your sons are to join her in a chess match.”

The lords and their sons looked horrified at this statement. Why on earth would the Lady want to challenge them to a chess match? More importantly why is a woman playing chess?

Anastasia smiled at the idea of playing her favourite pastime. She looked around to see all the horrified face, however she notice that this Benjicot Blackwood did not look so horrified but intrigued by this.

“The chess matches shall start on the morrow.” Rheanyra announced.

Let the games begin…

[irislunace]

I Love Us

Honestly, I'm so, so very glad AvA is the first fandom I've actually been an active participant in.

LONG RANT INCOMING

Throughout the years, I have "been in fandoms", but I never felt like posting my own art or works, commenting on vids (i didn't have a youtube account back then, still don't), or being anything other than a silent observer.

Back in March, when I came home from that math competition, and found AvMath in my recommendeds, and just clicked on it, I did not expect to get dragged into a fandom about stick figures, of all things. I remember watching AvPhysics directly after, then finding "Wanted", and watching it with no context. I remember going to the wiki, seeing all of the content that was made, and and binging AvM and the actual shorts and literally everything else.

And most of all, I remember thinking, "I wish I could just erase all of this from my mind and experience the magic all over again."

-

In May, I took a chance and went to Ao3. I knew it was a site to post fanfiction, but it had never been something I was interested in. But I was just curious, to see if fanfiction about this amazing fandom really existed. I didn't have an account, no; I think I just wanted to see.

There were about 1600-1700 fics on there about AvA, during that time. I didn't know how hits worked or kudos worked, but I just remember scrolling down until I could find something that looked like a lot of people had liked it.

And even then, I clearly remember the first fic I touched. "Identity", by LeenaFreeBird (I'll link it at the bottom). I absolutely loved it. I spent the rest of the month simply reading, and consuming all of the cool hcs, learning what fan terms meant, having an idea for my own fic that I thought, back then, I could never write.

Because I didn't.

I never made an account or wrote. I never left comments because part of me though people without an account wouldn't be able to, and that was just habit, at this point.

And even though I stepped slightly away from there in the months of June and July (we were in the process of moving halfway across the country, I had just watched the new Demon Slayer season, and upon recommendation had binged all of Haikyuu in a week), I always made sure to keep updated on whatever new AvA/M videos had been posted.

In August, I went back on Ao3.

SO MANY AMAZING FICS HAD BEEN WRITTEN IN THE SPAN I WAS AWAY.

I remember binging all of them for the month. I sat alone at lunch (as I was new I didn't have any friends), just reading them on my phone and getting sucked back into there.

In September AvI began. On a whim I logged back into my tumblr account that I had made like 5 years ago in 4th grade to post random rambling stuff about my life (I tagged nothing but my username wth), and redid my entire blog. I was sooo happy when one of my posts reached 100 notes.

I felt way stronger, and way braver. I joined the invite queue for Ao3, because I decided I DID want an account, and I DID want to post my own fics.

And everyone was (and is) SO NICE about it. They love my fics and posts (which I still consider really crappy, btw) to pieces, and always give me good comments. Even my bad fanart (another thing I got the courage to post during this time). Shipping wars never happen here (if they did, I wouldn't know about it). Rarepairs are appreciated, and we unanimously know the ships that should be completely illegal (not naming ship names here).

Everything and everyone is loved, and this is like the one little corner of the Internet where mostly all is safe and your opinion is valued. Sure, your fan theory may be wrong, but people here don't go and tell you "that's so stupid lol, no way that's true". They'll give you actual feedback, explain the evidence that falsifies it, or add to it because they like it.

Even on YouTube, if someone posts a yellue ship video, for example, they'll get hate, or "the color quad are just siblings lol", or "they r stickmen why are u shipping them". If someone HCs Blue as a girl (ik that's been debunked where we are at rn), they'll get a comment saying "it's stickman for a reason".

Like, let people have their opinions. Alan has never confirmed the color quad as siblings, or their origin story. I know he has said that he would like to avoid romance by not making female characters, but it's not like the people who ship yellue or grapeduo barge up to his door and demand he makes it canon. They're just peaceful, and everything that you're saying is fanon. For all we know, four different animators could have collabed on the sticksfight website and each animated a different character (not saying that's true, but we don't know).

And even with hollowhead pairs. Alan created them, yes, but how does Creator transfer to father in this scenario? We don't know, because he hasn't confirmed the hollowheads as siblings either. They still get hate on YouTube.

But Tumblr just loves everyone. The AvA community, for example, will always make you feel like you posted something good. They lift you up, not put you down. They appreciate your headcanons because it provides a new way of looking at things.

They appreciate you.

I feel so much better about putting myself out there, and I know I will do so more in the future. I now cannot comprehend how someone can see all of this content and think "they are just stick figures". No they aren't. They are stick figures with trauma, feelings, pain, heroic qualities, fatal flaws.

You, tumblr, makes me feel this way.

Thank you so much.

(I did not expect to rant about my entire journey when I was supposed to be talking about how amazing the AvA tumblr fandom is, but now that I have I'll just keep it. Here's the fic I was talking about)

[peachesandcreames]

What Are We, Part 5

A/N : MINORS ARE STRICTLY FORBODEN 🚫 all mistakes are solely my own. Feedback is always appreciated. I hope that you guys enjoy! No trigger warnings that I can think of but enter at your own risk 😉. Hearts, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated by me. Happy reading, everyone! 💕💞

Phoenix pulled into the half empty parking lot of the hospital just as the sun was peeking above the horizon. She parked as close as she could to the main entrance and took a deep breath as she took off her seat belt and let her head rest against the seat. She gripped the wheel and felt the exhaustion seeping in. Phoenix heard you waking up and she cracked one eye open and looked over at you. You turned over in your seat and gave your sister a sleepy smile.

You reached across the center console and took her hand in yours. "I've been thinking about the future and I know now what I want to do. With everything that's happened over the last few months I've decided that I'm going to go back to school and become a grief counselor." Phoenix gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and a gentle smile. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

You both reached for each other at the same time and pulled each other into a hug. You clung to each other for a few minutes and Phoenix pulled away to look at you. "How are you doing? Really?" You paused to give it genuine thought. "Honestly, I don't know. So much has happened in such a short period of time that I think that I'm still processing everything."

Phoenix nodded at you and watched as a nurse in purple scrubs walked in front of your car and into the hospital. "Understandable. I think that you've been put through a lot in a short period of time and I was starting to get worried." You gave her hand another squeeze and opened up the car door and stretched. You looked across the roof of the car at her and you felt bad that you made her worry about you.

"I never meant to make you worry about me.I love you and I'm sorry." Phoenix gave you an impish smile and shrugged her shoulders. "It's all good. I love you and I'm going to go home and get some shut eye. Call me when you're ready to get picked up?"

You nodded as you hugged your sister goodbye and made your way across the parking lot and into the hospital. It was quiet as you looked around, a receptionist was on the phone and typing on her computer. She acknowledged you with a smile and held her finger up. You nodded and saw the gift shop, you went in and browsed around. Grabbing a mini hairbrush, toothpaste, toothbrush and deodorant.

You caught a glimpse of yourself as you walked in and you definitely looked like you've been put through the ringer. You greeted the cashier and paid for your stuff asking her where you could find the women's restroom. She put all of your stuff into a bag for you and pointed you in the right direction. You went to freshen up and when you decided that you looked as good as humanly possible given that you pulled yourself together in a hospital bathroom. You made your way back towards the gift shop and bought some gifts for Javy and Jake.

You bought flowers for the both of them and really good gourmet chocolates plus some teddy bears that were dressed up as airplane pilots and you thought close enough, besides they were adorable with their little uniforms and aviators. With your hands full of goodies you finally made your way back towards the receptionist who greeted you with a kind smile. "Hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N, I'm here to visit Lieutenant Machado and Lieutenant Seresin." She handed you a clipboard and you sat down in the waiting area and began to fill out the paperwork. She took the clipboard from your outstretched hand and gave everything the once over.

She took the papers off of the clipboard and slid them into a manila folder and labeled it with your name and slid it into a slot with other folders. She wrote your name onto a visitor pass and you stuck it to your shirt. "What's your relation to Lieutenant Machado?" You glanced up at her, "we're just friends. He works with my sister."

She nodded and leaned back in her chair. "And Lieutenant Seresin? What about him?" You felt uncomfortable with the 3rd degree but you figured it was just part of her job. A million thoughts raced through your head and you latched onto the one that made the most sense but was difficult to say out loud.

"What are we to each other? Him and I?" She nodded again. "Are you a relative of his?" She asked, taking pity on you.

"God, no. I'm his girlfriend." You felt a natural smile form on your face. It felt good. It felt really right. You are Lieutenant Jacob Seresin's girlfriend and you don't care who knows it.

Her smile kind of faltered and you felt bad for her. You asked her what rooms they were both in and she pointed you in the direction of the elevator. Javy was on the 2nd floor and Jake's on the 3rd. You stopped by Javy's room first, you could hear a tv faintly in the background and you lightly knocked on the closed door. You peeked your head in and saw him lying in the hospital bed.

He looked a little banged up, his arm in a sling and some cuts and bruises but he looked OK. You put the flowers by the window and hoped that they got enough natural light. You gave him the candy and stuffed animal. He reached out with a smile. "Thank you, Y/N. You didn't have to do that."

You smiled back at him and shrugged kinda sheepishly. "I wanted to. It's the least that I can do for you. I just wanted to say thank you and make sure that you're doing OK." You squeezed his hand.

"I'm doing OK. They got me on the good stuff. I don't feel a thing." You both laughed at that and he started to doze off while you sat with him. You got up and pulled the blinds down so that it was semi dark.

You turned the TV down to a low murmur and dimmed the lights. You walked over to him and pulled the blanket up and gently kissed his forehead. You said a prayer of thanks and protection and shut the door behind you and made your way up to the 3rd floor and where Jake was waiting for you. You felt nauseous all of a sudden. You had no idea what kind of condition that Jake was in and it made you feel nervous.

The door was partially open and you silently slipped inside. You gently shut the door and heard it quietly click. You turned around and a silent gasp slipped from your lips and your hand flew to your lips. Jake was lying flat in the hospital bed, hands crossed his chest. He looked so still.

Jake always struck you as someone who was larger than life, full of bravado and swagger. So seeing him like this was a shock to your system. You put the flowers, candy and bear on his bedside table and took your jacket off and set it on the chair, sliding your shoes off and putting them underneath the chair. You padded silently across the room and stood by his bedside. You gently took his big hand in yours and brought it to your face.

You kissed his palm and a single tear slide down your cheek, you wiped it away and gently set Jake's hand back by his side. You debated about crawling into bed with him or trying to sleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair. Fatigue ultimately won out and you lifted the blanket and crawled into the bed next to him. You're probably breaking hospital protocol or something but you honestly don't have it in you to care. After everything you just want to be next to him.

You laid your head on his chest and feeling it gently rise and fall, plus hearing his heartbeat solidly below you was like music to your ears. You felt the tears begin to fall and the sobs began to wrack your body. You gently clung to him and you felt his hand move to the back of your head and his long fingers slid through your hair, holding you to him. He gently began to rub the back of your head and you felt the guilt begin to set in. You should be comforting him, not the other way around.

He survived a deadly plane crash and here you are acting like it was you who barely survived, but in a sense you hadn't. You couldn't even begin to imagine how you would survive losing Jake so soon after losing your parents. You took a deep breath and sat up to grab some tissue and Jake's gravely voice asked for water so you quickly got him a cup of ice water and helped him take a sip. "Thank you," he whispered and you shook your head no. "You don't have to thank me for anything."

He nodded and groaned as you helped him lay back down. He squeezed your hand in an attempt to reassure you. You looked at him with worry in your eyes, "are you OK? Do you need me to do anything for you? Call your nurse?"

He shook his head no. "I'm fine, sweetheart. I promise. Just getting comfortable." You let out a sigh of relief and sat down in the chair next to him.

Now it was his turn to look at you with worry in his eyes. "What are you thinking about?" He asked you, inquisitivly. You felt a sheepish smile quirk your lips and you dropped your eyes to the hospital floor. "Hey, look at me. "

You glanced up and locked eyes with Jake. "When I was filling out the hospital information forms, the intake nurse asked me what my relation to you was." You stopped speaking for a second and Jake asked you what your response was. "I told her that I was your girlfriend." You don't know why but you felt incredibly nervous as you held your breath.

A megawatt smile lit up Jake's face and you couldn't help but reciprocate. You leaned down and gently kissed his lips. You lingered for a second and pulled away before the kiss could get too heated. Jake groaned in protest and you couldn't help but grin against his lips. You stood up as you heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," you both said in unison. It was the nurse that you had briefly seen in the parking lot. She smiled at the both of you and made her way across the room and to the foot of Jake's bed and grabbed his chart and started looking it over. She flipped the page over and slightly nodded, "how are you feeling today, Lieutenant?" Jake glanced up at you and you could sense his hesitation.

You locked eyes with Jake briefly and you took pity on him. "You know what? I'm going to go home and shower and get some of my stuff. Do you want me to stop by your place and get you anything?" Jake audibly sighed in relief and he nodded gratefully up at you.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. My keys are over there." You followed Jake's pointed finger and you walked over to a little table in the corner and fished his keys out of his flight suit pocket. You slipped back into your shoes and grabbed your jacket. You made your way back towards Jake and you leaned over to gently kiss his cheek.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours. I love you, Jake." He smiled softly up at you and winked. "I love you too, Y/N." You felt like you were walking on air as you made your way towards the elevator and as you pressed the button you fished your phone out of your purse and you called your sister to come and get you.

As you stepped out into the crisp morning air you closed your eyes and tilted your face up to the sun. You felt it begin to warm you up and you took a deep breath, held it and let it go. For the first time in a long time you felt like yourself again. You felt like you could possibly have it all, the cute ocean bungalow, a relationship with your sister, an exciting new beginning and the possibility of a future with Jake. You felt hopeful for the future and couldn't wait to see what happens next.

~fin~ (for now 😉)

@emma8895eb @hardballoonlove @80pairsofcrocs @86laura11 @maddithehugenerd @hangmandruigandmav @the-romanian-is-bae @rosiahills22 @crazybeautiful1987 @halibshepherd @caitsymichelle13 @cdntheblackhearts @kennediijordan @drunk-on-hwa @lovinghimisneverenough @killmyhyunmin @quafflewaffle97 @planetch1ld @roostersforevergirl @themusingofagothicsoul @chlo-lo14 @luna-lovethegood @rosedurin @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @shelbycillian @runningawayfromsociety @milber32 @thefantasticreadingsofadri @petehangmankazansky24 @queenslandlover-93 @kyleeisahotmess @rascallyrascals @jason-toddbandit @beautifulandvoid @hookslove1592 @djs8891 @lynnestra44 @kyliesalvatore @mamaskillerqueen @ellianwhite @maybefakethoughts @comicgollum20 @tess-love @sgt-barnesveins @jessa-21 @mrsevans90 @scarlettwidow19 @jakeyzzz @tootser98 @fandom-life-12

[wheeboo]

a letter to 2023 . . .

hello everyone! we have reached the end of the year, and therefore here is a letter to 2023, and to literally all of you as well. this is gonna be a bit long so bare with me oops.

this year tested me. i completed high school, started university, realised that this is it, i'm a grown-up now. i cried, had sleepless nights, and had moments that felt too heavy to bare; but most importantly, i smiled, laughed, and probably felt the most joy i've had in the longest time.

i joined this place three years ago, but didn't start posting until the summer of this year. i didn't have high expectations, especially since i knew this place was vastly larger than any other platform i dedicate myself to, yet here i am! in the midst of publishing silly little writings and dumping my innermost thoughts, i found my happy place.

i did not expect to grow this much: making over 1.6k followers, posted 67 unique works, meet lots of new people whom i can call my friends, and of course, grow into the person i am now, and i couldn't be more thankful to all those who have shown their support for me 💞

firstly, i would love to spread love to my moot group and server, the people who i can share countless laughter with for hours on end 𑁋 @slytherinshua @blue-jisungs @fairyhaos @eternalgyu @haecien @weird-bookworm @etherealyoungk @idubiluv @wqnwoos @kyeomyun @hannyoontify @rubywonu @icyminghao @mirxzii @hannieheartuu 𑁋 for being the most amazing, most talented, and most hilarious human beings on the planet. thank you to all of you, i love you all so much 🫶

then to the rest of my moots, those who i talk to on here, discord, simply through interactions, or those who i haven't gotten to talk to much but would love to 𑁋 @toruro @hanverse @trblsvt @haowrld @planetkiimchi @rubyreduji @mesanthropi @boosari @the-therapist-needs-therapy @ryuwonieebae @odxrilove @ressonancee @reivrze @jeonwon-wonwoo @welcometomyoasis @amxlia-stars @kyrjnie @freshmint54 @babyleostuff @mangocustard16 @phenomenalgirl9 @hanggarae 𑁋 i wish you all a lot of love for the new year and i can't wait to interact more!! you all make this place a little more bearable each day. thank you for all that you do 💞

and finally, to my lovely followers (flowers 🤭) readers, and anons, i don't have enough thank yous to say thank you for all your support, whether you liked, reblogged, commented, followed, etc. thank you to those who have bloomed with me since the beginning, and thank you to those who have recently planted their little seedling in my garden 🥹💖. you all have helped me grow as a writer, as a person, and as a part of this wonderful (and hellish) community. your encouragement, feedback, and presence have meant the world to me. it's heartwarming to see this lil garden of my thoughts and emotions bloom and resonate with you, and i'm grateful to have you all as part of this journey!! 💐

with that, i wish you all a happy new year!! even if you don't celebrate it as big as others, i hope your 2024 is filled with lots of love, laughter, and simply just happiness. let's all bloom and flourish together!!! cheers to a new years and to new wonderful memories 🥂💓🫶

[hgfictionwriter]

Hello hello! I have a few asks/comments to respond to and want to do them in one go so I don’t flood anyone’s feed!

Someone asked for a fic where Jess has a “wild moment in the sun” at UCLA and that girl reappears in Jess and Reader’s life. @jflemings has a great fic around this. It's a bit more serious than perhaps the ask intended, but I recommend it.

Someone asked about a size kink fic. I'm sure there's more that can be done, but I have this for now. If you're looking for more size kink stuff, please let me know in the asks what you're thinking

Someone asked why I'm not online more. I'm not sure what they meant, but between work, family, friends and other life things, I write as much as I can and read as much as I can as well. So, thank you for your patience if I'm slow to respond sometimes!

Specifically, I read work from other Jflem writers, and there are a lot of great ones. Not to exclude anyone, but @flemingsfreckles has spectacular stories. I don't know if they're still writing, but @lovinpelova was one of the first Jflem writers I read and they have some great work.

I received a mutual masturbation ask in the context of J and reader spicing things up. I may write something like that someday, but for now there's this fic.

@lovewomensfootball I received your request. I'm definitely intrigued by R being well aware of how fawned over J is and there being an incident where someone is blatantly flirting with J and it leads to R being possessive. I'll add it to the WIP list. Thank you for the ask.

A lot of my work lately and upcoming have been g!p focused, but I'm open to writing regular fics. If there's something you have in mind, send me an ask :)

Beyond that, thank you to everyone for all of your comments and feedback. I love to hear it all and I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. My asks/comments are always open!

[chaoticbeanz]

Hellfire’s Girl 2

Summary- A new girl moves to Hawkins and has already made an impression.

Pairing- Eddie Munson x Fem!oc

Warnings- friends to lovers, slow burn, she/her pronouns, cursing, mainly nickname will be used,

Word Count- Almost 2k

Notes- There will be some straying from the storyline. Not a lot of Eddie in this one I apologize. Please don't forget to comment. I'd love to hear feedback.

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 3

~3rd Person~

Peaches felt so much better about school and Hawkins in general. She had friends, her boys she decided to call them. And according to Dustin, she’d have a few more. She loves the nickname she was given. She never cared about fitting in but she was glad she found others who made her feel like she belonged. Hellfire made her feel like she was always meant to be there.

After lunch, the group began to separate, walking to their respective classes. Each member bid her farewell.

Before walking down the hall she called out, “Hey Gareth!”

He turned around, “What's up Peaches?”

“After school, did you still wanna have a ‘grass’ session with me?” she asked nervously, pushing up her glasses.

“Hell yeah! I’ll wait for you in the parking lot.”

“Perfect!” she smiled, turning in the opposite direction. Unaware that Eddie was right behind her, only able to catch Gareth’s response. Were they meeting after school? Did you like Gareth? He couldn't help feeling that little green monster creeping up again but it instantly faded when he saw her jump.

“Fuck Eddie!”

He liked hearing her say his name. She somehow made it sound so much sweeter.

~Lena~

“You scared the daylights out of me!” I smacked his arm trying to catch my breath as he raised them in defense.

“Forgive me, milady, that was not my intent.”

I couldn't help but giggle. “Uh huh sure. Then praytell, what is your intent, good sir?”

“To escort fair maiden Peaches to her next educational torture.” Eddie bows to sell the bit.

I had to contain the blush creeping up my cheeks. All the boys are using the nickname but it feels different when Eddie uses it.

When he looks up at me I shake my head, beginning to walk. “Don't you have a class too?” He didn't need to know yet that I had a study hall.

He stands up and jogs to catch up with me. “Mrs, O’Donnell can wait. Besides, I wanted to know what you thought about good ole Hawkins high.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “It’s not so bad. There is a clear imbalance in the hierarchy and everyone seems way too invested in basketball. I personally find it boring. Besides, I’m more of a band girl anyway.”

“Finally! Someone normal!” Eddie cheers out. I couldn't help but laugh at his theatrics.

“Everyone here seems small-minded, that they don't like change or the unconventional.”

“That's Hawkins for ya sweetheart. If you aren't cookie cutter then you're branded a ‘freak’.”

I forced myself to ignore the pet name. But it made me sad to think. Is that how the boys were labeled? Bullied because they dressed differently or liked other things that weren’t sports? Hawkins was so ass backward and it wasn't going to force me into conformity.

“Well, I guess that makes me a freak then.” I turned to face him as I stopped in front of the library.

Eddie looked at me with a look I couldn't quite place. Maybe I shouldn't read too much into it. He pointed at the library questioningly. “Oh, did I forget to mention I have a study hall?” I teased then curtsied. “I thank you good sir for the company. Now I bid thee farewell.”

He smirks at me and takes my hand, “But of course. Anything for Maiden Peaches.” Eddie kissed the back of my hand then sauntered off down the hall.

I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding in. I could feel how red my cheeks were as I walked through the doors looking for a table to sit at and attempt to study. Which proved to be more difficult than intended. Head clouded with Eddie when I knew it shouldn't be. C’mon Lena, you can't have a crush this quickly! You just met him! Besides, he's just being nice because you're the new girl. At least that's what I tried to convince myself. Maybe I could poke around and ask questions with Gareth? Though they seemed like best friends, he probably wouldn't share secrets with me.

Worth a shot.

~Eddie~

God, how was I crushing so hard already?! She’s absolutely perfect! I wanted to know everything about her. What music she listened to, and what movies she watched. Did she know D&D? How would she react to me having a band? I couldn't stop thinking about her.

After I walked away from her, I felt like I was on cloud nine. Fuck going to class. I decided I was going to skip this class and head to my picnic table for a smoke. Then I’d catch up with Gareth. I needed to know what was going on between them. I know I wasn't the only one captivated by not just her beauty but her humor and her charm as well. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Letting it fill my lungs then exhale all the smoke.

Maybe ‘m getting ahead of myself? What if she already has a boyfriend? Or what if she doesn't even like guys? I mean Buckley swings that way so it is possible. We just became friends, is it selfish of me to already want something more, to be more to her?

All my life in Hawkins, there wasn't anyone quite like Peaches.

As if on cue, the bell rang just as I stomped out my cigarette. Time to have a chat with Gareth.

~3rd Person~

When Eddie found Gareth, he casually put his arm around his best friend. Gareth could see the mischief in his eyes. “What did I do?”

“Heard you say you were meeting Peaches after school? What's that about?” Eddie tried not to sound desperate, but it may have come out as jealousy instead.

Gareth knew immediately then that his best friend had the hots for her. I mean could he blame him? It didn't stop him from having a bit of fun with Eddie. He didn't need to know that Gareth was secretly trying to help him in the long run. “Yeah man, she asked me if I wanted to share a joint with her.”

He could practically see the gears moving inside Eddie’s head. Trying not to show his agitation.

“You rarely smoke.” Eddie couldn't wrap his head around it. And he thought Peaches couldn't get any better. A grunge stoner goddess roamed these halls.

Of all people though, why’d you have to ask Gareth? His green monster was starting to get the better of him.

“Who am I to turn down such an offer? Besides, gives me the chance to get to know her more.”

Eddie wanted to punch the smirk off his face but contained himself. He had to remind himself that it was fair game. It didn't mean he liked the idea.

“Trying to get with our Peaches, Gare?”

“We’re just friends, Eds.” Just then the bell rang signaling the next class. “Look, I got to go. We’ll talk later man.”

Gareth walked away, leaving Eddie alone in the hallway.

Eddie’s mind was too preoccupied; he barely paid attention for the rest of the day. Well, even less than he usually did.

~Lena~

I couldn't be more happy than to hear the last bell ring. The day was finally over. My brain was fried and not in the way I wanted yet.

I quickly gathered my things and headed to my locker. I didn't want Gareth to have to wait long for me. As I started putting books into my locker, I thought about the questions I wanted to ask him that I didn't get to during lunch. Nothing super personal, just general things about the boys.

Once my locker was locked, I headed towards the doors. Pushing them open I see Gareth leaning against the building. “Sorry if I took too long.”

He turned his head and smiled, “It’s all good Peaches.”

I return the smile and walk towards my car, he pushes off the wall and follows.

“Do you have a spot or…?” I asked as I opened my door and tossed my bag in the back seat.

”Uh…most of the time it’s the back of Eddie’s van.” Gareth rubs the back of his neck, nervously laughing while we get into my car.

I turn my key and it roars to life. Eddie. I hadn’t even thought to ask him. Now I feel like an idiot and rude.

”Oh. Well now I feel bad. Had I known I would’ve asked him if he wanted to join too.”

”Don’t worry Peach. There’s always next time.”

I started reversing out of the spot I was in, “You’re right. We could go to my house if that’s cool with you? My parents let me smoke on the roof.”

”That’s badass! Mine won't even let me in the garage.”

I laughed as I pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards my house. “Oh, I have some tapes in my glove compartment if you don’t want to listen to Queen.”

In the corner of my eye I saw him reach and search through what I had. Though I had a feeling I knew what he’d pick.

“You listen to Black Sabbath?”

I knew he’d be shocked. One, it was considered “Devil music” and two, sometimes I didn’t look like the kind of girl to like that sort of music. But I didn’t care and I told him what I told everyone.

“Music is music Gareth. I like what I like.”

”I knew I made the right decision becoming friends with you Peaches.”

I looked over at him and gave him a smile while at a red light. He put in the tape and we jammed out for the rest of the ride.

When I parked in front of my house, I noticed that neither of my parents were home yet. Which was fine, I wasn’t uncommon since they both had jobs. Before I got out of my car, I reached into the glove compartment to retrieve my last joint and placed it in my pocket.

I unlocked my front door and we entered. “Welcome to Casa de Peaches. Make yourself a home.” I relocked the door then tossed my keys on the coffee table and my bag on the couch. “Before we head to the roof, we should probably grab some drinks and snacks. I don’t know about you but I get major munchies.”

I gestured for him to follow me into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed a drink. “You can have whatever you want.” I said leaving it open for him to choose. We each grabbed a few snacks from the cabinet as well then he followed me to my room.

”You got a nice place Peaches.” I hear Gareth say as we reach the top of the stairs.

”It’s not so bad. I’m still getting used to it.”

As soon as I opened my door, I was mortified. “Fuck!”

I had forgotten that I had shit everywhere. Clothes, shoes, books, tapes and records. My room looked like a raid happened while I was at school. I could hear Gareth chuckle from behind me. “I am so sorry it’s so messy. I usually have it fairly clean when friends are over.” He probably thinks I’m gross because girls are supposed to be cleaner than boys.

”It reminds me of my room, but slightly girly.” He laughed. “Don’t worry. I don’t think less of you.”

Well that’s a relief.

I place my snacks on my small side table next to the window. While Gareth did the same, I quickly started cleaning up some of the disaster. He noticed. “Seriously Peaches, it's fine.”

He ended up grabbing my shoulders to stop me from moving around.

”Okay. Okay.” I took a deep sigh then fished out the joint from my pocket. I couldn’t stop the smirk that was forming.

”Let's light this sucker!”

Tagged: @luv4peterba1lard @arlxtarts @midnyghtsolstice

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to be tagged or share your thoughts please leave a comment. It would be greatly appreciated.

“grass” session will be in part 3

[louisthemanyouare]

Who’s Gonna Be The First

Summary:: for as long as both can remember, Louis and Y/N never got along. Working along side the boys as a personal stylist was a problem at times. While doing an interview, Louis slips up and mentions Y\N which causes the internet to roar to life with news and articles. Making you second guess everything.

Warnings:: swearing, verbal abuse, little physical abuse, lots of fluff, Louis being cute after being mean,

Take this as a warning or not but Liam is in this story a little. RIP Payno🕊️

•••

“Louis would you hold still!”

You were just about fed up with the older band member. It was already 5:26 in the early morning and they had an interview at 6am. You had been trying to work on Louis for the past hour, between the dancing, the not sitting still or the small snide comments he would make towards you. Well let’s just say everyone could hear the yelling at this point. “If you can’t work on me like this Y/N, maybe it’s the wrong industry for you.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t behave like a 5 year old, we wouldn’t be having these issues!”

Comment after comment was being thrown back and forth. Two cups of teas that were once hot now sat cold and untouched. You were contemplating on just risking it all and pouring the beverage all over the musician.

Though in that moment Liam walked into the dressing room. He sent you an apologetic look, knowing you would never get a sorry from the lad who is currently sitting in front of you. With the last finishing touches, you let out an exhausted sigh and stepped away. “We’re done here.” You watch as Louis jumped up and walked out the room with a bounce in he’s step.

He knew full well how to push your buttons, especially at this time in the early morning. More importantly without any caffeine. “I’m sorry Y/N.. please don’t take Louis seriously-“ Liam started to say but you cut him off by putting a hand up.

“I don’t take him seriously Liam. I take it personally. Why me? I knew I was walking into a can of worms when getting this job, this though is too much.. from day one, all the jabs of what I wear, joking about my job. He demanded I don’t work on him. Pranks are meant to be a playful joke but I can’t help but think he’s side has malice. So no Liam, no apology is going to fix this.”

You walked out, leaving a shell shocked Liam standing in the middle of the dressing room. If you were to be here all day, you’ll be needing food and lots of coffee. With a large latte in one hand and a muffin in the other, you made your way back into the now empty dressing room.

You had just taken a sip from your drink when the door cracked opened the slightest. “Liam seriously I’m not in the mood to talk about this any longer. He’s your friend, not mine. He’s been an arsehole to me from day one and that will never change.”

“Well that’s interesting love, it really is.. though don’t mind me just in here to grab my phone that I left behind. Thanks for the delightful feedback and a very fuck you too.” You spin around to see Louis standing now in the room about 3feet away from you, phone in hand and a very pissed off expression.

“I thought you were Liam-“ he angrily cut you off.

“Sorry to disappoint. Hang on I’ll grab the lad and you can continue talking behind me fucking back. The fact you’ve still got this job is completely astonishing to me. Everything about you is fucking annoying.” That’s when you felt something inside you just snap. Without much of a second thought, you lunged forward and smacked the smirk right off the man in front of you.

Silence filled the room. The hand print becoming more noticeable as the seconds ticked by. No amount of make up is going to cover the mark you’ve left. With shaking hands you step forward to try and fix the damage. Louis surprisingly stood still, in fact he hasn’t stopped looking at you in shock.

“Louis I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean that. I can fix it.” You knew that was an empty promise. There wasn’t enough time and it was looking more red than before. Louis finally snapped out of it and watched as you raised a hand to lightly touch he’s burning cheek. Dropping your hand, you go to turn around to grab some make up but stop at the feel of a hand grabbing your arm.

“Louis what ar-“ his lips found yours. It was soft and barely considered a kiss at first but then he started pushing his body into yours, kissing you harder. Both of you back up into the nearest wall. Minutes must of went by because by the time he pulled away, you were breathing heavily. The air building back up into both your lunges.

You slowly opened your eyes to see Louis smirking down at you. You were unsure why he’s got that sparkle of mischief in his eyes, though it couldn’t be anything good you thought. “Your lips match the colour of my cheek now.” Wait what??

You push past Louis to look at yourself in the mirror and he was in fact correct. Your hair was messy, lips swollen and red and eyes glassed over. All that was done by a kiss. A kiss from Louis Tomlinson.

By the time you had turned back to face him again he was no longer in the room. You don’t know why there was a bit of disappointment, or the fact you felt tears build up in the corner of your eyes. It meant nothing, it was just a kiss in the heat of the moment.

The interview had started, just like everyone else from set you stood to the side of the stage and watched the 5 boys squeeze themselves on a couch that looked too small for 5 grown lads.

“So boys, we all want to know about this new album four, great album may I say. I gotta ask this question, was there a special muse for the making of these songs?” You stood on the sidelines, still tasting Louis on your lips.

“Yeah great songs, it was kinda a joint collaboration really.. we all put in our own inputs and experiences. I won’t go into detail but yeah usually there is a muse, though sometimes there isn’t.” You watched Louis answer most questions, the other boys joining in when they wanted to.

“Is there a special muse for you Louis?” The interviewer leaned forward, more intrigued for an answer. Louis just nervously laughs and looks over towards the camera then over to where you stood, though you knew he couldn’t see you from this distance, it didn’t stop your heart from racing.

“Oh that’s sneaky, I ain’t answering that question“ Louis laughs it off and relaxes back in the couch, thinking he got away without a single slip up. Though the interviewer had just started.

15 minutes and the interview was starting to wrap up. You could tell the boys were getting restless, they were changing positions often and Louis wasn’t answering questions or hardly talking at this point. “Alright we’re almost finished here boys. One last question, fans have started a ship within your tour group. Niall you seem really close to Y/N the hair and make up artist. Should we expect a blossoming romance here?”

From the distance off stage you see the chaos unfold, Niall getting red in the face and making a little harmless joke “maybe.. who knows what can happen.” Louis was sitting there, fists clenching, face going red with jealousy.

“Y/N is my muse.” Louis spat out. They all went quiet.

The interviewer was shocked but quickly got over the shock and started grinning wide like the Cheshire cat at the boys. “Little band rivalry here I feel.” That was the wrong thing for him to say. Everyone watches Louis jump up from the couch, ripping the microphone from he’s shirt and throwing it on the floor. “There’s no rivalry. We’re done here.” Louis then proceeds to walk off the stage, the boys following him quickly after.

You were at a loss. Do you go find Louis after just hearing him confess those feelings or do you give the guy space to calm down. Without much thought, your body was already walking you towards the emergency door that you saw Louis exit from. There he sat on the roof, feet dangling off the edge. “Louis?” You whisper softly, hoping he wouldn’t push you away.

You hear a deep breath leave him and see his body tense up. The cigarette in his left hand was lit and resting on his thigh. “Please Y/N just leave me alone.” You didn’t listen to him. Instead you took a seat beside him. For minutes neither of you said a word.

“The kiss and what you said in that interview… Louis did that mean anything? Please tell me and if it didn’t mean anything, then I’ll do what you wanted. I’ll leave.” With the loud beating of your heart, you wait for any indication from Louis. You turn your head to look at him to see he was already looking at you.

“You’ve always meant something to me Y/N. I just kept you at arms length because I didn’t want this lifestyle to destroy you. I’m sorry for being an arse to you for these couple of years.” You watch him reach for your hand, threading your fingers together. You both stayed there not saying a word, just enjoying the view while holding hands.

The moment was ruined though when the emergency door opened and all 4 boys stepped out “so is it official yet?” Niall asked you two. “You two better be together, the sexual tension was getting to a whole new level, everyone was over the arguments and the bickering.” Harry said next.

Both you and Louis were at a loss for words. “Wait you guys knew how I felt?” Louis stood up off the edge, he helped you stand up shortly after. The 4 boys continued grinning at you both. “Come on mate, you weren’t exactly subtle about it Lou.” Zayn said.

“We had a bet going who was gonna be the first to make a move. We just had to give you both a little nudge. Glad to see our plan worked. Harry you owe me 20” Niall said while pointing at Louis’s hand still clasped in yours. The 6 of you walked back inside, the boys laughing ahead about something and Louis and you walking not far behind them.

“Wait before we go” you watch Louis stop the both of you, the boys continue to walk ahead. Louis grabs hold of your hands and gives them a small squeeze. “I really like you and I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to admit it. after everything I’ve said and done I’ll understand why you say no to this question but I’m still going to try. Y/N let me take you out for dinner?” You couldn’t stop the bright smile from spreading across your face, you step up and place a small kiss to the corner of his mouth.

With a small giddy sigh, you whispered out an answer you never saw yourself saying.

“I’d love that Louis.”

[kalki-tarot]

[ 🦋 ] CHANNELED MESSAGES FROM YOUR DIVINE COUNTERPART ♡

Pick a pile ✧.*

🪼 : from left to right — Instinctively select the picture that feels right to you, whether based on your thoughts or the desires of your inner self. Choose the one that resonates with you, keeping in mind that this reading is meant to be general in nature and may not resonate with everyone.

🪼 : Disclaimer — The images I used to select a pile were sourced from Pinterest, I hope the reading will deeply resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun.

I DON'T DO PAID READINGS. CHECK MASTERLIST FOR FREE READINGS.

PILE 1. ✧.*

"You're the brightest star in my universe."

"When I look at you, every other thing disappears for me."

"I would offer you all the love, possessions, etc. I have"

"I'm manifesting you right now."

"I'm working on myself right now."

"Please send me prayers and give me strength as I someone broke my heart and gave me lots of pain."

"I have a lot of options (?)."

"I'm manifesting new opportunities for us."

Please comment if it resonated ♡

PILE 2. ✧.*

"I get butterflies whenever I look at you."

"I can't take my eyes off you, sweetheart."

"You are magical."

"I daydream about you. And even at night, I think and manifest you."

"I watch tarot readings about you."

"I want a new start between us."

"I'm scared of self sabotaging this relationship."

"I'll nurture you and take care of you like a mother."

PILE 3. ✧.*

"I'm heart broken right now."

"Please give me strength."

" The universe wants us together." "I'm tired of working."

"I'm becoming more financially abundant for you/us."

"I'm fighting my way to you."

"I'm currently facing battles in my life."

"I love you."

PILE 4. ✧.*

"I wander in these lonely streets searching for you."

"Maybe I've seen you somewhere before."

"We know each other from our past lives."

"I can't say a lot of things to you right now."

"The divine is currently making me choose between two different things/people/situations."

"I have to take charge of my own life."

"Please be my light and show me the way outta here."

" i think about you a lot."

Please share your feedback in the comments! Thanks for reading, may the divine bless you and bring you happiness.