#*throws my messy pile of garbage into the sea of Star Wars AUs* swim my pretty swim!

[ikiracake]

Super self-indulgent Star Wars: Clone Wars AU idea that I’ll probably never write but I need to get it out of my brain before it eats its way out (full disclosure I’ve never seen a single episode of SW:TCW I just read way too much fic):

It starts out when Cody, frustrated with finding Obi-Wan’s lightsaber on the battlefield again, decides that if he’s going to be hanging onto the stupid thing 50% of the time anyways, he might as well learn how to use it. But he also knows that his brothers are assholes, and if they see him trying to train himself to fight with a lightsaber, they’ll never let him hear the end of it. So he trains in secret, so no one can bother him.

Enter Anakin, fresh off of another argument with Obi-Wan and looking to blow off some steam. He for some reason decides to find a training room on Obi-Wan’s ship rather than return to his own, and in his search to find somewhere where Obi-Wan can’t find him and lecture him more, he stumbles upon Cody. The two freeze, and share a super awkward stare-down.

But then Anakin surprises them both when instead of making some sort of comment on what Cody’s doing, he points out a mistake in Cody’s stance. Cody, bewildered, corrects himself, and somehow he finds himself going through a lightsaber training session with Anakin Skywalker as his teacher. By the end of the session, both men are still a little awkward, but they both found they worked well together, so when Anakin tentatively offers to teach Cody more later, Cody agrees.

Thus begins a rather strange partnership. Cody asks Anakin early on not to tell anyone about what they’re doing, and Anakin figures what’s one more secret to keep from his old master. But pretty soon it becomes clear that Cody’s preferred form is Soresu, because that’s what he’s most familiar with, and he just naturally picked up so much from watching Obi-Wan that it doesn’t make any sense to switch gears now and try to teach him a different form. Only, Anakin’s Soresu is terrible, and he’s really struggling to teach Cody the form. But because he’s starting to grow attached to Cody as his secret student, he decides he’s going to have to swallow his pride and go to the Soresu expert for help. Obi-Wan is baffled, but pleased, when Anakin approaches him out of the blue and asks him to help Anakin become better with Soresu. Over the course of their training, Anakin and Obi-Wan start to bond again, several of the wedges that Palpatine had subtly placed between them coming loose now that they’re interacting more in a less stressful environment. And Anakin turns around and passes on what he’s learned to Cody, who is blossoming as his student.

Everything is going smoothly, until one day during training, Anakin finally realizes that they’ve hit the point in Cody’s studies that a non-Force sensitive should not be able to keep up anymore. Cody is doing flips and dodges and moves that can’t be explained by the standard clones’ better-than-average reflexes. Anakin briefly stumbles, feeling like he’s been hit upside the head by a tank, because holy shit Cody’s Force sensitive.

What happens next is a miscommunication of epic proportions, where Cody and Anakin end up having two completely different conversations with each other.

What is actually said, is this:

Anakin, right after Cody has done a Force-assisted flip: Kriffing hells, you’re using the Force!

Cody: Ha, ha, very funny sir. Everyone knows that clones aren’t force sensitive.

Anakin: Well that’s clearly a lie.

Cody: Sir, the long-necks would definitely have caught something like that, I can assure you. It must be just your good teaching.

Anakin:...wait. Does that make you my Padawan?

Cody: Sure.

What Cody believes is happening is this: Anakin is joking around, teasing him like he usually jokes around and teases Rex. He has grown a bit fond of General Kenobi’s former student now that they’re getting to know each other, and is secretly kind of pleased to be treated like one of Skywalker’s friends. It’s all just a big joke.

What Anakin believes is happening is this: Cody is well aware he’s force sensitive, but has to hide it because he’s scared that he’ll be decommissioned or removed from service if anyone knew. In Anakin’s mind, this explains his desire for their lessons to be secret. But if Cody is force-sensitive, and Anakin is training him, then logically Cody is actually his Padawan. He doesn’t pick up on Cody’s sarcasm, and believes that Cody has accepted him as his master. He’s also missing Ahsoka fiercely, given her recent departure, and that affects his understanding of the situation. 

Now Anakin is even more stressed out because oh shit he just adopted another spontaneous padawan, only this time he has to keep him a secret. He desperately wants to go to Obi-Wan for help, but he promised Cody not to tell, so he can’t go that route. He also knows he needs to register his new padawan with the order to make it all official, but how to do that without revealing who it is and potentially exposing Cody to danger?

He ends up going to Yoda, and tries to vaguely explain the situation without actually explaining anything. Yoda either knows exactly what’s going on down to who Anakin’s new padawan is, or he has no idea at all, but either way he’s a massive Troll in it for the laughs, so he basically just hands over his datapad with the login info already put in so that Anakin can register Cody as his padawan without telling anyone. Cody is officially now a member of the Jedi Order, and has no idea.

After this, shenanigans ensue as Anakin gets more and more stressed out about hiding not only a secret wife, but now a secret padawan who he still needs to train and keep alive despite the fact that they’re in completely different battalions and not always together. Ironically, this new stress actually helps him to cling more strongly to the light; now that he has a clone as a padawan, he’s more cognizant of his men’s lives, and he learns caution in battle, leaving behind his more reckless plans because now he needs to take care of his padawan’s brothers. He also continues his Soresu lessons with Obi-Wan and the first time the form ends up saving his life and the lives of others in battle, he buys Obi-Wan a big mug with “world’s best master” printed on it. He’s too busy trying to juggle all of his responsibilities to visit with Palpatine, and Palpatine starts to lose his influence over Anakin’s mind.

Eventually the whole charade blows up in typical Skywalker fashion - it comes out that Cody is, in fact, force sensitive (the only reason Cody hasn’t actually caught on at this point is that a) Anakin’s training tends to be less traditional and is heavily influenced by war jargon, so the lack of familiar Jedi teaching methods threw Cody off a bit, and b) he’s already stressed out enough about being the Marshal Commander of like a third of the GAR and trying to keep Obi-Wan’s ass alive, he is going to remain blissfully ignorant of any other world-shattering revelations until this stupid war is over thank-you-very-much), and that he’s actually Anakin’s padawan. The realization that Cody’s force sensitive leads the order to search for other force-sensitive clones in the ranks, finding many. The Jedi healers, curious and unable to pass up the opportunity to search for novel markers of force-sensitivity in humans that are the perfect subjects because they’re literally genetically identical, do a bunch of studies on volunteers, and discover the chips in the clones’ brains. Sidious’ plans are revealed and promptly foiled, with Cody personally taking Sidious’ head when he surprises the Sith with a mid-battle switch from Obi-Wan’s Soresu to Anakin’s Djem So. The Galaxy is saved, and the Separatists quietly surrender when they find out that they’ve been duped.

We get our happy ending where clones, both force sensitive and not, have been welcomed into the Jedi order. Anakin proudly watches as Cody is knighted, his twins and Padme invited to the ceremony and watching happily in the crowd alongside Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. He never falls, and the Jedi Order remains strong. The galaxy is at peace.

THE END

(I know it’s stupid and self-indulgent and probably not very in character but what the heck the idea makes me happy at least lol)