#*smacks top of boothill* lots of trauma stored in this thang!! terabytes of it!!

[venusandsaturnsrings]

you roll his hands between your own, playing with the metal joints connecting his fingers as he looms above you with a self-satisfied grin. rouge dusts your cheeks from the handful of drinks you’ve shared with the cowboy between flirtatious remarks and subtle physical intimacy. but now, he’s got you against the wall as he purrs something about how pretty you are in the dim and grungy bar lighting. you’re quickly giggling in response with one hand coming to rest on his chest as you bat your eyelashes playfully, telling him he’s a real sleaze for buttering up a taken women though you’re taken by him. boothills gently twirling your hair around, kissing the strands as sweet as his next words, “let me take you in another way.”

then you’re stumbling down an alleyway laughing as he expertly shoots bottles off ledges and kisses each bullet, for you, of course. the ground is wet beneath your shoes and you know very well scrubbing off the mud will prove to be a pain but you also know nothing cures pain quite like a single look at the cowboy who’s got you wrapped around his steel finger. he’s tugging you through winded pathways, twirling you under street lamps, and kissing you behind dumpsters like it’s the most romantic thing in the world and it really is when it’s him. he’s got you under one arm when he pulls you back into the dingy motel, the receptionist glaring at your three in the morning rowdiness but boothill has you convinced an extra hundred or so credits in the morning will patch that dented relationship.

you’re inside the room, back against the door as he plays with the hem of your shirt when your tipsy mind mumbles it playfully. it’s meant to be a joking jab at his protective yet playful demeanour, one that plays off of cheesy lines you’ve heard in bad adult movies or between a pair of lovers that’s a bit too hands on and slimy in public. it’s nothing tainted with malice or meant to slice open stitches made by inexperienced hands but, his reaction is immediate.

“c’mon, don’t play around with me daddy,” and he locks up before jolting away from you like a hot iron. it catches you off guard and all you can do is blink as boothill stands stiff and plainly hurt. you’re confused but stutter out an apology laced with hesitation and the delicacy of snow. but he stares. he stares and doesn’t speak a word for what may as well be hours in your formerly-tipsy-now-painfully-sober mind. then he swallows and turns around, headed for the crooked sliding door that leads to what can’t be an inspector approved balcony. he leaves the door open and you’re not sure you should follow till he takes of his hat and looks back, almost pleading.

there’s no chairs and you’re sat on the dirty wood next to him in silence. boothill moves to push back his hair uncharacteristically exposing both eyes when he finally looks your way, something heavy weighing in them. you’re pretty sure he’s going to ask to break up when he starts spilling apologies and faux curses. he sighs, and you think it’s coming, but then the story starts. you’d never heard about his life before the wanted posters and galaxy ranger status but he’s throwing it all on the table, every card, chip, and eye exposed, when he tells you he had a daughter. not one by blood but one he loved all the same, one he mourns for in words he’ll never be able to write and you try to understand. it’s not easy work but you’re pulling his head down onto your shoulder and he’s going through the motions of what should be crying but without the tears and you’re kissing his knuckles like he might disintegrate.

he doesn’t blame you. not even a little bit. but it’s sore and raw and he can’t help but feel; you’ll never tell him not to. though it’s not much, you pull boothill back in the room and promise a better future while making a mental note to commission an artisan for a decorative bullet with her name. you fall asleep together with clothes not even changed but hoping someday you’ll be able to ease all his pain.

tomorrows a new day and that’s where you’ll start. together.