#*slaps the top of her head: this baby can fit so much mommy issues in it!

[trebuchet151]

I've gotten close enough to a canon-ish route to feel comfortable doing a stat sheet for Chase!

For fun art style comparisons sake, some art of her from 2015 under the cut (almost a decade ago....i feel old suddenly....)

im determined to keep those claws in her villain suit design somehow

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 2

Summary: negans jealousy and temptation starts to escalate when he starts coming around trying to fit his way back into your life while also showing jack who the man of the house is but jack may also have secrets of his own no one knows about.

🛑Warning: fluff, major smut, saddness, jealousy, cheating,fighting 🛑

@jazzy1118

18+

Sitting on your bed with mascara tears streaming down your face holding onto old pictures of you,negan and ellie. Jack walks in and you quickly wipe your tears and shove the pictures under the pillow before he notices.

"Hey baby...whats wrong?" Jack slides in next to you

"Oh nothing haha" you sniffle and play it off all cool

"You looked beautiful lastnight...i realized i forgot to tell you" he said brushing a strand of hair behind your ear leaning in to kiss you softly. Jack resches inbetween your skirt automatically causing your legs to spread apart inviting him in. He reaches his other hand up your shirt grabbing your boob gently squeezing it in his hand you begin to quickly unbutton your blouse breathing heavier when the front door opens. You frantically pull your shirt back together terribly and tugging at your skirt when you exit the room to see negan and ellie standing in the living room.

" have you ever heard of calling or sending a text!!??" You cross your arms over your chest with a few buttons still loose allowing your black lace bra to peak out

"Well....looks like youve been busy" negan takes off his glasses sliding them ontop of his head

"I just thought id come by and cookout for ellie.." He grins pulling out steaks and ribs from a grocery bag.

"Oh! I brought wine too...your favorite"

"Cook out!?...wha" you followed behind him outside to the patio slamming the door behind you.

"So you think you can just walk into my house acting like you own the place saying you want to "cook out" for ellie!!??" By now you are almost inces away from him

Negan flicks on the grill and then grabs you gently by your face.

"I believe its my house too.....my name is also on the deed" he relases his hand and then walks past you back inside

You scoff to yourself as you stand there trying to process what is going on when jack comes outside.

"Im heading out for work...also whats up with him?"

"I..uh...he is cooking out for ellie i suppose" you said running your finger's through your messy hair

"I see.....well ill see you later, message me!" He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before hopping into his car and driving off. You sigh to yourself opening the door walking back into the kitchen seeing negan rubbing up the meat with spice's and ellie downing a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

"Negan! Seriously you gave her ice cream before dinner" you quickly took the spoon and bowl away from ellie before she could cram another spoonful in her mouth

"Whaaat let the kid live alittle...." He looks at ellie giving her a goofy face

You go over to dump out the ice cream in the trash can before dropping the dish in the sink next to negan you caught yourself looking at him his jacket was off and his sleeves were rolled up exposing his toned arms and rough hands. His black glasses resting on his face and his perfect salt and pepper hair. You always have had a thing for men a bit older than you and negan fit that image perfectly...jack was much younger than negan which you never would of guessed going for a younger man would be good for you.

"Mommy!!"

"Huh..yes honey?" Causing you to snap out of your thought's

"Can daddy stay the night we can stay up and was scawry moviessszz!!?" Ellies face lit up with excitment

"Oh. Sweetie im sorry but daddy cant stay the night" bending down to her level caressing her cheek

"Uuuuggghhhhh!! No fair!!" Ellie screams at the top of her lungs and starts flailing her arms

"Ellie! Do not act like that towards your mother!" Negans deep strong voice boomed in the kitchen almost making you weak at your knees. Ellie ran off to her room and slammed the door.

"That sassy girl" negan said looking at you through the top of his glasses

"Thank you...." You sighed exhaustedly while popping the cork off of the wine bottle and filling your cup up

"Mmmm...." Swallowing the sweet red wine feeling it flow down your throat

"So....you and younger guys huh?" Negan chuckled while washing his hands

"Something new...nothing wrong with that" you said taking another sip of your wine

"thought you had a fetish for older men....whats it called? Daddy issues"

"I guess you could say that...." Pouring more wine into your glass

"Sure sure..." Negans voice died out as he walked off to the bathroom

Negan came back into the kitchen grabbing the tray of meat outside and slapping it on the grill. You followed behind him wine glass in hand.

"So...was it you that told ellie to ask me if you could stay the night?" Raising an eyebrow

"Shouldnt you go get another glass of wine" negan chuckles

"Ya know...your cooking was always the best" chugging down the rest of your glass

" i think the wine is starting to talk haha" negan closed the lid to the grill folding his arms over his chest

---------

I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen while ellie and negan were snuggled up on the couch watching friday the 13th together. Hearing negan be playful and caring with ellie really makes your heart happy. A part of you wishes things could have been diffrent between the two of you that is your babygirls father of course you love the both of them but being with negan just isnt in your future right now.

"Mommy come in here!"

You finished putting dishes away when you walked in there and sat down by negan he kept looking over at you grinning while ellie jumped at the scary scenes with jason Voorhees.

"So...hows the team going?"

"Good...good the boys are a handful" negan chuckled

"You were always a great coach you really pushed those boys to do great things" giving him A sweet smile

Talking about school with negan was always a touchy topic. He runs a basketball team at the local highschool......thats also where he was cheating on me with one of the english teachers.

"She is out like a light... My sweet girl." Negan was running his fingers through ellies long red hair when he looked over at you realizing you had fell asleep on his shoulder too. Negan picked up ellie and took her to her bed and tucked her in when he came back you were slightly awake.

"Thank you..." You said tiredly

"For what baby..." He said in a low deep voice

"For dinner and taking ellie to bed...its hard doing it alone sometimes..." You began to feel really vulnerable and kinda felt unsettling with negan calling you baby

"Jack should be home soon he gets off late.." You raised up off the couch

"You want me to leave...." Negan asked with puppy dog eyes

"Negan....you have to go im sorry"

"Baby....you know i never meant to hurt you" negan pulled you back down to sit on the couch

"But you did.....what were you thinking....you ruined everything" you were a bit tipsy from the wine and your emotions were just flowing out of you

"I love you negan! And you threw it all away for some fucking teacher at your school!!" You began shoving him

"All you care about is yourself you are so fucking full of yourself...you think you are so fucking amazing!" Now gripping onto his shirt hitting him in the chest he quickly pulled you into a tight hug and you began crying uncontrollably onto his shoulder soaking his tshirt.

"Shhh....im here now i promise you i will do anything..i want to be back in ellies life full time again i miss my girls" negan started to get all choked up holding back tears

"I...i cant right now negan its too soon im still hurting so bad.....im trying to move on from this" wiping the tears away from your eyes

"I understand.....im never going to let you down again all i want is for you and ellie to have a good life even if im not in it"

He stood up pulling you with him he took you to the bedroom and layed you down in bed taking your shoes off for you and tucking you in before jack got back.

"Goodnight" he kisses you on the forehead and leaves

---------

You woke up to ellie jumping and screaming on your bed you looked over to see jack sleeping next to you rubbing at his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful" he leans over and kisses you

"Goodmorning" you chuckled

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Ellie jumped onto you

"Hi sweetheart mommy sees you" you squeezed her tight in a hug before getting up out of bed

Jack had already gotten up and hopped into the shower when his phone began to ring on his bedside table you eagerly went over and looked at who it was. A girl named Melissa was calling him you just brushed it off and joined him in the shower.

"Hey...." Slipping off your panties and hopping into the shower with him

"Whoa...hey" jack said shocked

You grabbed him by the face and began kissing him hard feeling the hot water stream down your back. He moved his hand down between your legs taking one finger and slowly slipping it inside of you moaning out gripping onto his dick starting to slowly pump it back and forth feeling it grow long in your hand. Before you knew it he flipped you around ramming his cock into you pumping back and forth into your dripping wet pussy. His grip grew tighter on your hip as he started going faster and faster untill you felt an emptyness from him pulling out.

"Im hopping out im gonna let you finish up in here" he slapped your ass and then hopped out and closed the bathroom door behind him

"What a disappointment....." You whispered to yourself as you scrubbed shampoo through your hair knowing that negan would of never left you hanging like that and would of lasted way longer. Turning off the water you coulf faintly here jack laughing and talking to someone over the phone you quickly dried off and opened the bathroom door.

"Who are you speaking to?" You asked slipping on some clothes

"Ohh just a coworker nobody really" he said putting his phone into his pocket and sliding his tie on leaving the room

"Okay then....." You said to yourself

Slipping your shoes on you walked into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee before jack headed off to work. Jack seemed super eager to leave for work today you just brushed it off assuming it was going to be a busy day for him at the office. He kissed you goodbye and took ellie with him to drop her off at daycare. It was just you alone in the house today which meant housework....gross.

You tied your hair up in a bun and began gathering your cleaning supplies you connected your phone to the bluetooth speaker blasting old rock songs. You were down on your hands and knees scrubbing at the floor in your short shorts when you were greeted by two feet infront of your face. You slowly looked up at who it was and it was negan with a huge dirty smirk on his face.

"This all for me doll?" He bit at his lip

"Oh....uh i planned on cleaning house today while everyone was out" you said shyly not realizing you were still on your knees

"I like you down there...on your knees" he slwoly chuckles

"Oh! Sorry....you cant just keep letting yourself in negan..." You quicly shot up to your feet

"You need me to help with anything?" He walks into the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee

"Ugh....The grass needs mowed......" You answered while wiping down the living room table

" jack doesnt mow grass?" Negan began laughing

"Negan...dont" standing there with your hands on your hips you sprayed him with the water bottle

"Hey!.....im just saying i figured young business boys couldnt mow grass anyway" negan walked outside and started up the pushmower.

An half and hour has passed and you finally finished the housework inside. You peaked out the window to see negan finishing up yard work...his shirt was off and he was all sweaty then jack suddenly pulls up causing you to stop gawking at negan.

"You always mow peoples grass" jack called out to negan getting out of the car

"Well, today i do. And maybe even next time...your girlfriend asked me to" negans jaw begins to flex

"Oh really...well" jack rubs at the back of his neck annoyed

"Dont think for a second that you have this all figured out......just setting some ground rules" Negan leans in towards jack and sternly says

Jack glared at negan as he walked past him to go insdie the house.

"Hi sweetie!" You greeted jack with a peck on his cheeck before stepping outside to speak with negan.

"I think you need to go...." You softly said to him trying not to stare at his sweaty toned bare chest

"Cmom doll.....things were getting fun. Jack is really starting to take a liking to me" he chuckles sliding his tongue across his bottom lip

"Negan....this isnt a game" you said picking up the gardening tools and taking them to the garage

"But i like games....and i always win" negan said in his cocky voice following behind you

You slammed down the shovel on the work bench in the garage before you knew it negan flipped you around lifted you up and and sat you ontop of the bench crashing his lips into yours he slid in between your legs grabbing a fist full of your hair yanking your head back as he began biting at your neck.

"Negan...." You moaned softly

"God i miss you moaing my name..."

"N....negan stop" it was so hard to resist him

"I want to have another kid with you....i want to fill myself insdie of you.....please baby" he tugged at your hair harder causing you to moan louder

The hairs on the back of your neck shot up after hearing what he had just said to you. You wrapped your legs tight around his waist and pulled him into you kissing him roughly biting and tugging at his bottom lip. You couldnt control yourself your body was weak negan always knew the right things to say. Negan took his two fingers pulling your yoga shorts aside to his surprise you weren't wearing any panties his finger began to play with your now swollen sensitive clit causing you to whimper out. He sucked on his finger making it wet before bringing it back to your clit gently flicking it faster and faster.

"Negan...im gon-

"(Y/n)...are you in here" jack called out from around the corner of the garage

"Oh shit!" You whispered to yourself before hopping off the work bench approaching jack

"Hey...im going to be going out of town on a business trip soon"

"Oh....well how soon?" You asked curiously

"Like...tonight soon" he quickly stated

"Oh...i see" your voice lowered

"I have to go baby i will keep in touch with you!" He kissed you before slow jogging to his car and leaving

A part of you didnt feel good about jack leaving for a "business trip" if thats really what it was.....something seemed off with him like he was hiding something. You stood from the garage watching him drive down the road untill you couldnt see his car anymore.

"Business trip huh....." Negan questioned walking up beside you

"Yeah...i suppose so" you said zoning out

Negan begins to chuckle and walk past you to his car.

"Wait were are you going!?" You yelled out to him

"Have to go pick up our daughter from daycare" negan calls out from the driver side

"Wait up im coming with you!" Jogging up to his black 1969 camero and hopping in the passenger seat

-------------

You,ellie and negan were back at the house when you were in the bedroom freshening up when you noticed jack had left his laptop on the dresser. Curiously you walked over and popped it open the screen automatically came on to his emails the very top email read from Melissa.

Hey jack we have that meeting tonight dont forget!😊 im also wearing that little tight dress you love.

You read the message over and over again the words ringing in your head making you feel sick to your stomach you slammed the laptop shut your body shaking full of rage and a adrenaline not knowing what to think or how to feel anymore. You just lay back on your bed zoning out up at the ceiling.

The door to the bedroom opens and its negan with a dirty smirk on his face looking at you layed out on the bed you just want to forget everything you want to feel numb you want to be made to feel dirty...

"Hey..." His deep tone giving you goosebumps

"Fuck me.....i want you to fuck me like the slut i am" you sternly said to him

Negan swiftly ripped his shirt off and yanked down your shorts spreading your legs apart bringing his tongue to your pussy licking your sweet folds brining his tongue down to your opening and all the way back up to your clit teasing you. You begin to grind up against his face while he pumps his cock hearing him moan only made you even more wet. He pulls his mouth away and flips you over slapping you on the ass hard the sting of it felt amazing he spanks you agains and a again before he enters his tip inside of you. Gripping onto the the bedsheets you have almost forgotten how big his cock is streching you open to fit perfectly insdie of you.

"Oh fuck.....god its so tight! You dirty fucking whore" he grunts slowly sliding more of his cock into you pulling your head back by your hair

"I miss you....i want you to fuck me hard..." You begin to rub your clit

Negan starts pumping his cock in and out of you his cock slowly swelling up inside of you and you squeeze down on him feeling all it all. He begins to move faster and faster leaning his face down to yours grabbing onto your throat squeezing it to let you feel that perfect high.

"Fuck...i...i cant keep going much longer" he starts fucking you faster and faster

"I want you to cum in me....please..i want your cum inside of me"! You beg

He lets out a load moan as he finishes inside of you and kisses you hard on the lips before pulling out letting his cum pour out of you all over the bedsheets. Negan pulls up his jeans as he hands you a towel to clean yourself up. You havent felt that amazing in awhile so relaxed and burnt off some built up rage

"All you have to do is ask and im here...." He whispers to you before leaving the room to go check on ellie. You get up from the bed to go take a shower.

"What am i doing......." You say to yourself

"Im so fucking stupid...." You begin to cry and sit with your knees pulled up to your chest in the tub feeling like a peice of shit after what you had just done. You are playing with negans emotions and stabbing jack in the back...what kind of girlfriend and mother am i.

[harley-sunday]

Encore [epilogue]

Summary: The new Disney+ show ‘Encore’ brings together former castmates of a high school musical, tasking them with re-creating their original performance in a high school reunion like no other. Emotions run high as you face faded friendships, long-forgotten controversies, killer choreography, and an ex-boyfriend you haven’t seen in eighteen years.

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader [unnamed OFC, nicknamed ��Ace’)

Warnings: Language. NSFW

Word count: 3.1k

AN: This is it... The epilogue of Encore’s Encore. What a ride, huh? I had so much fun writing this, diving into this backstory, and making sure these two knuckleheads found their way to each other in the end :) Hope you’ll enjoy the last part, but please let me know what you think! ♥

eL, I owe you something chocolate for all the hours you’ve spend in this daydream world with me. Thank you so, SO much, sweets! 

Masterlist

“Nic,” you answer with a smile, putting your phone on speaker, “we’re almost there.” 

“Ok, good,” she says, “cause these potatoes are done.” 

Chris chuckles beside you, “Two minutes, Nicole.”

“Step on it, Evans,” Nicole groans, “I’ve got two very impatient kids here who, I’m sure, aren’t above killing their mother if we don’t start eating soon.”

“Nicole,” you laugh.

“What? I’m serious,” she protests. “Please tell me you remembered to bring the-”

“It’s in the trunk, Nicole,” Chris reassures her with a smile. “We’re pulling up now, so you’re good.” 

“Oh thank God,” Nicole says as she hangs up.

“I’ll leave the door open for you,” you tell him, before you give a kiss. “See you soon.” 

He winks and sits back, trying to hide from view as you make your way to the front door.

The door opens before you even have a chance to ring the doorbell and you are greeted by two very excited boys who both run up to you and throw their arms around your waist. You run your hands through their hair, “Hi guys,” 

“We’re gonna watch you and mommy on TV!” Robby exclaims, while he takes your hand and leads you inside. Leo’s still wrapped around your waist, his feet on yours, and so you penguin walk through the hall and into the kitchen, where you find Nicole and Keith.

“Hi,” Nicole says with a smile, planting a kiss on your cheek, “you had a good flight?”

“Not too bad,” you tell her as you give Keith a hug.

“How’s the apartment?” She tells Leo to let go of you then, and when he doesn’t listen right away she throws him one of those mom-looks that makes him do exactly what she wants.

“It’s fine,” you tell her, taking the glass of wine she’s offered you, “I’m not sure all my stuff’s gonna fit, but-” 

“I still don’t understand why you don’t just move in with him, I mean-”

“Nicole,” you berate her, one eyebrow raised. “Have you met me and my commitment issues?”

“Yes, I know, taking it slow, blah blah blah,” she says while she pulls a face. “You know you’re just gonna be at his place all the time, right?”

“I know,” you agree with a nod, “but it’s nice to have, like, my own place, at least until he gets back from filming Knives Out, you know? I don’t- It would be weird to stay at his house when we’re not technically back-”

“Oh, come on!” She throws her hands in the air then, “You know what, I give up. Just let me know if you need help decorating the new place or whatever.”

“I love you,” you tell her, making a kissing face.

“Uhu,” she says, trying to keep a straight face but failing. She pulls you in for a hug, “It’s good to have you back, babe.” 

“MOM!” 

“Oh shit,” Nicole curses quietly and lets go of you. “Here we go.”

You pulls up your texting app and hit <send> on the draft you typed earlier, which simply says:

Now.

“Mom, Leo hit me!” 

You follow Nicole into the dining room where you find Robby, a red spot on his cheek that confirms his story, and a very guilty-looking Leo. Before Nicole has a chance to say anything there’s a knock on the front door and you see the confusion on Leo and Robby’s faces when they quickly realize an unexpected guest has shown up.

It’s then the door to the dining room opens and you see the boys’ eyes widen in shock when they see who has just stepped into their house. You throw Nicole a wink and step back, letting your back rest against the wall as you watch the scene in front of you unfold with a smile.

“Hi boys,” Chris says, using the deeper voice Steve Rogers is known for. Holding Captain America’s shield in front of him he salutes them, before he sets the shield down and walks over to where they’re seated, kneeling in between them. 

Leo finally seems to have found his voice again and looks from Chris to Nicole, “Momma! Cap’ain America is here!”

“He sure is, baby,” Nicole says with a smile. 

As if on cue, both boys jump out of their seats and throw their arms around Chris’ neck, giggling when he stands up, carrying them to the living room with ease. 

“Come on,” you nudge Nicole before you set your glass down, “Chris can handle those two, I’ll help you get everything on the table.”

She tells Keith to go take some pictures, maybe even a video so that, when necessary, they can help Leo and Robby remember about the deal they made with Captain America about being kind to each other. Once you’re in the kitchen she lets out a staggered breath, “I really hope this will help with all the fighting.”

“It will,” you assure her, gently patting her arm. “Captain America shows up, you listen, right? Those kids, oh Nic,” you let out a laugh, “they’ll be on their best behaviour from now on, because Captain America will find out if they’re not.” 

After a dinner filled with stories from Leo and Robby, trying to impress Captain America with whatever they can think of, you settle down in the living room, your episode of ‘Encore’ just minutes from airing. 

You and Chris sit down on the couch, Robby on his lap, while Leo snuggles up on yours, but only after both boys agree that Leo gets to sit on Cap’s lap after the second commercial break. Keith and Nicole are snuggled up on the love seat and you watch them out of the corner of your eye, smiling when you see Keith tickle Nicole which earns him a gentle slap on the wrist, followed by a kiss.

The episode starts then, the boys clapping and cheering loudly whenever they catch a glimpse of their mom. You can’t help but cringe when you see the footage of that first day, the awkward hug you gave Chris of course shown in its entirety. That’s the only time there’s any focus on you and Chris, which you’re thankful for, glad that whatever was going between you two didn’t transpire in rehearsals enough to make it into the final cut.

You smile when you see parts of the performance on screen and look away in embarrassment when they show the scene between you and Chris, making out in Kenickie’s car. Keith wolf whistles and Nicole winks at you, while the boys look up at you and Chris, confusion written all over their faces.

Robby, now in your lap, takes the lead, “You kissed Captain America.” It’s not so much a question as it is a statement and you’re not sure how to reply.

Chris steps in, “She did, but it’s super secret, so you can’t tell anyone that you know, ok?”

Robby and Leo nod fervently, excited to share another secret with Captain America.

“So, am I dropping you off at your place, or-” he says with a grin.

You shake your head and laugh, “You can, but then you’d have to drop yourself off there as well and I don’t think Dodger would be too excited to spend the night alone.” 

“That’s what I thought,” he says as he drives past your apartment, speeding up a little to make his point, a cheeky grin playing on his lips. 

You turn towards him in your seat and stare at him for a few seconds, memories starting to flood your mind now that you’re driving through Sudbury again together for the first time in eighteen years. You let your bottom lip roll between your teeth while an idea starts to form.

He looks over at you, “What?” 

You shrug, “Remember that time you took me for a drive and we ended up at Great Meadows?”

“Yeah-”

“Yeah.” You reach out your hand and let it rest on the top of his thigh, “Wanna take me there again?”

He swallows hard, the double entendre not lost on him, and he just nods, gripping the steering wheel just a little tighter. 

You let your hand travel further up his thigh and cup him through his jeans, drawing a sharp breath from him when you squeeze ever so slightly. It’s about five more minutes to the parking you were referring to and you keep your hand in place for every second of them, your thumb rubbing back and forth in languid strokes.

His breathing picks up and you can tell he’s trying to keep his cool, but the way he grows harder under your touch betrays his efforts. He curses quietly, “Fuck, Ace.”

“Uhu,” you reply with a sly smile and another squeeze. 

He pulls up to the parking then, and you’re relieved to find it empty, not sure what you would have done if there’d been other people around. Before you have time to say anything he’s unbuckled his seatbelt and puts his hand over yours, keeping you in place, grinding against your hand.

You take your hand out from underneath his and unbuckle your seatbelt, while you tell him to slide his seat back. He does and watches you intently, no doubt curious to see what you’ll do next. You throw him a wink and move around in your seat, your ass now hitting the dashboard. Planting one feet firmly on the ground, you throw the other over his leg and slide onto his lap. It takes some effort, but finally you find yourself straddling his thigh.  

Your skirt has ridden up and you can feel your soaked panties press against his jeans, a shiver running through you when you feel him flex his muscles. You cup his face and pull him in for a kiss and as you do you buck your hips, sliding over his leg, a moan escaping you from the friction it creates.

“Ace,” he breathes against your lips, his hands on your hips to keep you in place.

You give him another kiss and let your hands fall to his jeans then, your fingers unbuckling his belt with ease before you undo his button and zipper. One hand finds its way into his boxers and takes him out, and you press yourself against his leg when you see he’s completely hard. 

Your thumb runs over the tip, coating it in precum. Pulling back you look at him and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks when you let a bit of spit fall onto your hand, your eyes never leaving his. Both hands are on his cock then, working in tandem, while he grabs onto your hips and helps you ride his thigh in earnest.

It isn’t long before his head falls back against the headrest, his breathing more ragged now, and you can tell he’s getting close from the way he thrusts into your hands. 

“I’m right there with you,” you whisper, feeling your orgasm starting to build. 

He flexes the muscles in leg again and pushes you down harder as he slides you from his knee to his hip and back. 

You keep running your hands up and down his shaft, faster than before, and then you lean forward and put your mouth to his ear, “Come for me, Chris.”

He shakes his head while he tightens his grip on your hips, lifting you up, and you whimper at the loss of contact. He kisses you, hard, and then puts one hand on your lower back, pushing you against him, while the other takes his cock from your hands. “Wanna come inside of you,” he growls, his voice low and dangerous, and you almost come right then and there.

You put your hands on his shoulders and slowly lower yourself onto him, a moan escaping your when he fills you up effortlessly. His hands are back on your hips then, helping you ride him, setting a pace that you know will get both of you there quickly. 

Burying your face in his neck, closer now than you were before, you sneak one hand in between you to play with your clit. You want to tell him you’re about to come, but then he bucks his hips at the same time he pushes you down and the words get stuck in your throat because your orgasm washes over you instantly. 

You feel him come inside of you not much later and he wraps his arms around you, cradling you against his chest and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you both come down from your high. 

When you wake up the next morning Chris’ side of the bed is already empty and you figure he must have gone out for an early morning run. That is until you hear Dodger bark somewhere on the other end of the house, which is weird, because Chris told you he usually takes his dog along on his runs. You decide you might as well get up, feeling well-rested after your early night yesterday, but still longing for some coffee. 

You start to make your way to the kitchen, but halfway there you are greeted by an excited Dodger, who you give some well-deserved scratches before continuing your mission to get some coffee. Your brows knit together when you see a bouquet of red tulips on the kitchen counter, which you are sure weren’t there yesterday. 

“I was just gonna get you,” Chris says as hands you a plate with two Danish, and a cup of coffee while he pulls a face, “I hate to rush you, but we have an hour before we need to leave, so you kind need to haul-”

“What?” You look at him, shaking your head, “What are you talking about?”

“I can’t- It’s a surprise,” he says with a wicked grin. “So just- Eat your breakfast, and I’ll go take a shower, ok?”

“Ok,” you draw out, even more confused. You watch him walk out of the kitchen and turn towards Dodger, who’s at your feet hoping you’ll drop a bit of Danish, or maybe just both. “You in on this?”

Dodger barks quietly, which doesn’t really help. Still, you sneak him a bit of your Danish before you sit down at the breakfast bar and try to figure out what the hell is going on.

You’re in the car about an hour later and Chris still won’t tell you where you’re headed, but when he turns onto the I90 after twenty minutes or so, you are fairly certain you’ll end up in Boston, even though that leaves about a thousand places he could take you to. 

He’s unusually quiet and so you figure it must be something important but there’s just no way of telling what is happening right now. When he pulls up on Salem Street about thirty minutes later you’re even more confused, almost certain that you’ve never been here before.

When you round the car to join him on the sidewalk, he takes your hand and leads the way down the street until you get to what looks like a barber shop. It confuses you even more, because are you here to watch him get a haircut, or? 

You follow him inside and you’re surprised when the guy behind the counter greets him as if they’re old friends, telling him Dave will be with you guys in a second.

“Chris,” you whisper, gently tugging on his hand.

Before he has the chance to respond a guy walks through the curtains behind the counter and walks up to you and it takes everything you have not to stare at him, because he’s almost twice the size of Chris. This must be Dave, you figure, and you watch as he gives Chris a hug.

“How you doin’, kid?”

“Good,” Chris smiles. He nods towards you then, “This is Ace.” 

You throw him a look because why would he use your nickname, but it’s then Dave gives you a hug and you find yourself a little stunned at how gentle he is for such a big guy. Before you have the chance to ask any questions, Dave beckons you and Chris to follow him through the curtains and it’s there things get even more confusing.

There’s a chair set up, but it isn’t a barber’s chair, and you glance at Chris, hoping to finally get some answers.

“I’ll just eh-,” Dave says then, “I’ll just go grab something from the back,” and disappears through another curtain, leaving you and Chris alone.

Chris takes your hands in his and gives them a gentle squeeze, “Remember when I told you that I got that ace of hearts tattooed on what was supposed to be our ten-year anniversary?”

You nod, slowly starting to maybe connect the dots, but it isn’t until you realize what today’s date is that you let out a gasp, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he nods and smiles, “Happy twenty-year anniversary, Ace.” He tugs on your hands, pulling you close before he wraps his arms around you, his mouth close to your ear when he says, “It’s time to start fixing things.” 

Dave reappears then and asks Chris if he’s ready. Chris nods and takes his sweater off, before he sits down in the chair and Dave starts prepping his skin. Chris holds out his hand to you and you’re quick to take it, standing next to him and watching in awe as Dave starts to fill in the broken line of Chris’ tattoo, the colour red he’s using matching that of the existing heart perfectly. You give his hand a gentle squeeze to let him know that Dave’s done not much later and let go then, so Chris can get up out of the chair and admire his tattoo in the mirror that’s hanging on the wall.

Dave throws you a wink, “Everything as it should be.” 

“Yeah,” you agree with a smile, for some reason feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, as if the enormity of what Chris has just done only now hits you. You watch as Dave places what looks like saran wrap on Chris’ chest before he hands him a tube of cream and some instructions on how to take care of it the next couple of days.

Walking out of the shop not much later Chris looks at you, a tender look in his eyes, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” you nod, a moment of clarity suddenly hitting you. 

“So,” Chris asks, hesitating a little, “am I dropping you off at your place or-?”

“No,” you say as you let go of his hand and turn towards him. You cup his face ih your hands and push yourself up so your lips ghost against his, “You’re taking me home.”

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 18

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​

“Mommy is going to be really mad,” TJ laments from the backseat as they pull into the driveway. “Is that why she didn’t come and get me? Because she’s mad?”

“She’s just tired,” Tyler assures him, as he kills the ignition. “She needs sleep.  Having a baby is hard work. And your sister is only three weeks old. Still new.”

“She’s going to be so pissed,” the five-year-old sounds as if he may cry. “She doesn’t like when I get in fights. When I’m bad at school.”

“I think she’s going to understand why you go into this fight. Once you tell her everything and...”

“I can’t tell her! That’ll just make things even worse. Can’t you just tell her I wasn’t feeling well and had to come home?”

“I don’t think that’s going to work, mate. Have you seen your face?”

“That’s going to make her even more mad!” he cries, and then promptly bursts into tears.  

Normally he’s the strong, stoic one; very rarely showing even the slightest hint of sadness. Even as a baby he rarely cried, not even for a wet diaper or out of hunger.  At three he’d adopted the habit of cracking jokes –even at his own expense- when he felt the threat of tears coming on.   Rage and frustration are his two main negative emotions; easily going from laughing and smiling to angry and intense.   Possessing a hair trigger temper that’s bad enough on an adult, but extremely troubling and almost terrifying on a little kid.

“She’s not going to be mad,” Tyler assures him. “She might be mad at the kids that messed you up but...”

“I messed them up worse!” TJ snaps, as if offended anything other than victory had been suggested or expected. “Don’t forget that part! I handed them their asses!”

“...but she isn’t going to be mad at you,” his father calmly continues.

Snapping back or letting his own anger or frustration show will do nothing. Other than encourage the kid to escalate his own behavior.  It had been a hard thing to learn; not to immediately react when TJ begins acting out. Handling it emotionally and letting his own temper take over just to makes things even worse. According to the therapist, anyway.

 “Redirect not escalate”, he can hear her say. “Kids like this need patience and understanding. Not judgement and punishment.”  He’d thought it was bullshit at first. That not punishing bad behavior only encouraged it to get worse. It’s how he’d spent his own childhood, after all.  Until it had been drilled into his head that there was nothing normal about the way he’d grown up and he needed to ‘break the cycle’.  

“You don’t know that!” TJ argues. “That mommy won’t be mad!”

“I’ve known her longer than you have. I know her a bit better. I know what makes her mad and sets her off. I’m a master at pissing her off.  And I know she won’t be mad at you. She's going to be a little sad when she sees what your face looks like.”

“That’s even worse! I don’t want mommy to make mommy sad!”

He cries even harder now. Arms folded across his chest, chin tucked into his chest and his eyes closed; entire body shaking with the force of his sobs. If there’s one thing that he is sensitive about, it’s his mother. No one upsets his mother on his watch.  And if they dare raise their voice to her or look at her with even the slightest bit of threat in their eyes, he’s the one jumping to her defense.   Tanner fits the typical ‘mommy’s boy’ stereotype, but TJ will fuck someone up if they mess with her.

Tyler kills the ignition and waits; giving his son a few minutes to get all the tears and emotions out. He knows better than to even attempt to offer any form of support or comfort, whether it be verbal or physical; the kid hates feeling as if someone is pitying him or seeing him as weak and it will only send him into a blind rage. So he gives TJ the chance to work things out on his own; occasionally glancing at him through the rearview mirror, holding off until the sobbing subsides and the five-year-old gives a long, shaky sigh and then uses the front of his t-shirt to wipe his face.

“You good?” He asks.

TJ nods.

“You wanna go in? See mommy? Tell her what happened?”

“You won’t leave, right? You’ll stay when I tell her?”

“I’ll stay right with you. What do you think she’s going to do to you?”

“Nothing. But I don’t want her to be sad. I hate when mommy’s sad. And she won’t be sad if you’re there.”

He wants to tell him that he’s made mommy sad plenty of times. More than he likes to admit. That he’s made her cry too many times to count and regrets every single tear she’s shed because of him or over him. But he doesn’t; burdening kids with adult problems solves nothing. It only causes more issues. And they have enough of those to deal with.

“Let’s clean you up a bit,” Tyler suggests, as he slides from behind and wheel and steps out, popping open the back door of the truck and reaching for TJ’s backpack. “You got clean clothes in here?”

“I think so. Mommy always remembers to put some in.”

“Good thing one of us has our shit together, yeah? Go in the garage,” he instructs, as he unbuckles the straps on the booster seat and then wraps one arm around his son’s slender body, helping him down to the ground. He’s tall for five; long and lanky, yet solid and strong.  “I’ll clean you up in there. That way you look a bit better when mommy sees you.”

“Okay,” TJ agrees, bare feet slapping against the cement of the driveway, stopping momentarily to scoop up that day’s newspaper that the delivery boy had tossed onto the grass, then throwing it at the front door.

Sighing, Tyler closes the truck doors and sets the alarm before joining his son in the garage, peeling off the blood and dirt stained t-shirt and locating the cleanest part possible; wetting in at the sink in the corner and then using it to clear away the dried blood from TJ’s face.  

The kid never winces once; not even a single flicker or pain despite the often vigorous scrubbing or the fingertips that poke and prod as they investigate each injury.  

“Is it broken?” TJ asks, when his dad presses on the sides of his nose.

“I don’t think so. I don’t think anything’s broken. Any missing teeth? Loose ones?”

“None missing. But...” he pauses as he uses the tip of his tongue to press against each tooth. “A couple loose ones.”

“They’re baby teeth. So they’ll just fall out and you won’t be gruesome toothless for long.”

“Now that’s mean,” TJ giggles, then immediately grows serious. “Am I going to get arrested? Are the police going to come here?”

“Why would the police come here?”

“Because I beat those kids up. I heard what Mrs. Tucker said. About it being assault. That’s a bad thing, right? That’s what police come for. Bad things.”

“You’re five. I think you’ll be able to escape an assault charge. And don’t listen to that stupid bitch.”

TJ’s eyes widen.

“And also don’t tell your mom I called her that.”

“She is though,” TJ concludes.

“A stupid bitch?”

He giggles. “Yeah.”

“The stupidest of bitches,” Tyler agrees, and then tosses the soiled shirt into the hamper before locating a clean one at the bottom of TJ’s school bag. “Feel better?” he asks, as he yanks the item of clothing over his son’s head. “Just a bit?”

TJ nods. “You know what would make me feel even better, though?”

Tyler arches an eyebrow.

“Ice cream.”

Grinning, he lays a hand on the back of his son’s head and gently pushes him towards the door. “Ice cream would make me feel a bit better too.”

***

“So what was it today?” Esme inquires, as she stands at the kitchen island; body swaying from side to side as she holds Addie along her arm, free hand flipping through a stack of mail. Not even glancing up when they step into the room. “Desk tipping? Chair throwing? Calling the teacher a stupid fat cow?”

“In his defense, I’m the one that actually called her that,” Tyler admits. “And it’s bit more than that.” He drops TJ’s school bag on one of the bar stools and then lays a hand on her hip and presses a kiss to her temple. “You might want to give me the baby.”

“Why?” she gives a small, almost nervous laugh, a scowl creeping across her face she looks up at him and sees the seriousness on his face. “It can’t be THAT bad?”

“Trust me on this,” he says, and she places the baby along his arm; Addie’s head nestling into the crook of his elbow.  Carrying her across the kitchen and giving a Declan a kiss on the top of his head as he sits snacking in his highchair before tossing open the freezer and taking out the ice cream.

“Mommy...” TJ begins, nervously rocking back and forth on his heels. “...don’t be mad.”

“Why would I...” her eyes widen when she looks at him; taking in the various cuts and bruises that inhabit his face and then rushing to him, kneeling in front of him with one hand on his shoulder, the other gently cupping his cheek.  “What happened? What the hell, Tyler?”

“He got into a fight,” her husband responds, as he places Addie in her swing by the sliding door. “No big deal.”

She frowns. “Not you. I wasn’t asking you.”

“You need to actually specify which one of us you’re speaking to when we’re both in the same room,” he reminds her. “Or neither of us will answer because we have no clue who you’re talking to.”

“I got into a fight,” TJ confirms, as she scoops him up and places him on the edge of the island.

“It looks more like someone used you as a punching bag.”

“He looks worse. Much worse. So do the other guys.”

“There was more than one?” Her fingers cautiously survey the damage, the cut across the bridge of his nose and the swelling under the left eye the most concerning.

TJ sticks his bottom between his teeth and nods.

“How many more?”

“A couple.”

“A couple?”

“Four,” he admits.

“Four kids? In your class?”

TJ looks to his father for moral support as he joins them, placing three spoons and three bowls of ice cream on the counter, then handing him an ice pack tucked under his arm.

“Eye,” Tyler gently orders. “It’ll keep the swelling down. And it was four older kids,” he says to his wife, remarkably calm and composed as he leans stomach first against the island and digs into the ice cream.

“How much older?” she asks.

“Grade four,” TJ answers.

She frowns. “You’re five.”

He shrugs. “I’m a bad ass,” he reasons.

Esme stares pointedly at her husband.

“What?” Tyler asks innocently. “Guess he’s got good genes.”

She sighs and turns back to her son. “You fought four kids?”

“I was really only fighting one kid,” TJ explains. “The others jumped me. So I fought them too.”

“All of them? At the same time?”

“And won,” Tyler says, and then shrugs when she glares at him. “Just sayin’.”

“You don’t seem the least bit upset about this,” she observes.

“Why would I be? My kid just took on four other kids and beat their asses. Why would I be upset? I’m proud of him.”

“Have you looked at his face?”

“He’s got a black eye, a split lip, a sore nose and a couple of loose teeth. They’ll fall out and his adult teeth will eventually come in. I don’t see the big deal. I’ve had worse.”

“You’re forty years old,” she points out. “And you used to...well...you know what used to do for a living. Of course you’ve had worse. He’s five!”

“And it won’t be the last time he gets a little messed up. It’s not a huge deal.”

“He could have a concussion,” she argues.

“He does not have a concussion. Did you hit your head?” Tyler directs the question to his son.

“Nope.”

“He doesn’t have a concussion,” he concludes, and returns to the bowl of ice cream in front of him.

“You can get punched hard enough to get a concussion,” Esme reminds him.

“I don’t know how hard you think grade fours hit, but it’s not hard enough to give him a concussion. Would you relax? He’s fine.”

“He doesn’t look fine. Do you have a headache?” she asks TJ.

Tyler sighs in exasperation. “Esme....here...” he pushes on the bowls in front of her. “...relax.”

She scowls. “We should take him to get looked at.”

He can’t help but laugh. “Why? He’s fine. He got into a fight. Stop making a big deal out of it. It won’t be the last fight he gets into, trust me. Millie’s always beating the hell out of him.”

“Why did you get into a fight in the first place?” Esme asks, as she combs her fingers through TJ’s thick, unruly hair and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“The one kid was picking on Tanner,” he explains, as he digs a spoon into the bowl of ice cream his father sets in his lap. “And it made Tanner cry. So I got pissed off and I told the kid to leave him alone. That he’s my brother and no one makes my brother cry.  NO ONE.”

Tyler gives a grin of pride and approval, then frowns when his wife digs her elbow into his ribs. “What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” she says. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking those little shits fucked with the wrong kid.”

“They deserved it mommy,” TJ pipes up. “They all deserved it. And I’d do it again to protect Tanner. To protect any kid against the bullies. Bad people should be punished for being bad, right? Like daddy used to punish them for hurting good people.”

“Okay, that’s not exactly how his job worked, but...” she sighs. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mom...” he looks her dead in the eye, suddenly appearing –and sounding- much older and more mature than he is. “...I’m tough. Okay? You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.”

“You’re five. Not fifteen,” she reminds him, and then tousles hair. “You need to stop sounding so much like your dad.  It’s not a bad thing, it’s just...it makes me nervous. You go and take your ice cream outside so I can talk to daddy for a bit, okay?”

“Is he in trouble?”

“Probably,” Tyler grumbles.

“No one is in trouble. I just need to talk to him. About adult things. No little ears allowed. Got it?”

“Got it,” he agrees, and then jumps down form the island. “Am I grounded?”

“Not this time. You did the right thing. You stuck up for your brother and defended yourself. But you do not...I repeat DO NOT...go around starting fights. Ever. You don’t hit kids for no reason, you don’t pick on anyone, you don’t even look at someone the wrong way. Because you’re freakishly big and strong for a five-year-old and you’re going to seriously hurt someone. Now go outside, finish your ice cream, and then go and see Ovi and tell him he’s invited for dinner.”

“Okay,” TJ says, then gathers up his bowl and scurries away, cheerfully greeting Mac as he steps outside; the dog waking from his nap under the patio table and excitedly rushing to see his favorite little human.  

****

“So....” Esme leans against the counter alongside her husband, scooping out a spoonful of ice cream and popping it into her mouth. “Did you kill anyone? Am I aiding and abetting a fugitive?”

“I behaved myself. No blood was shed. I promise.”

“What about tears? Did you make anyone cry? At least tell me you made someone cry. Or shit their pants. Both would be a bonus.”

“I might have made the principal cry. Or shit himself. I’m not sure. He wouldn’t even come out of his office. Totally threw the secretary under the bus.”

“Mrs. Tucker,” Esme scoffs. “That stupid bitch.”

Tyler grins. “Look at that. There ARE things we agree on.”

“She’s so condescending. Every time I go in there, she starts talking to me like I’m one of the students.”

“Well in her defense, you are smaller than most of the kids there,” he teases.

“Don’t make me take out my small people rage on you. I’ve spent thirty-five years not being able to reach the bottom of the washing machine or being able to get things off high shelves. I’ve got a lot of pent up anger over that shit, so don’t you start with me.”

“And you say I need anger management. Everyone thinks TJ gets it from me. I think we both know where he really gets it from.”

“I don’t think he got any of my DNA,” she frowns. “So did you? Make Mrs. Tucker cry? She’s terrified of you.”

“She was ballsy today. She actually tried to scold me. For my bad language.”

“How bad was your language?”

“First I called the other kid an asshole. Then I called him a little prick.”

“Normally I’d balk at calling kids names like that, but in this case, I think you were justified. She tried to scold you, huh?” Esme grins.  “That must have gone over well. Did you make her wet her pants? Did you give her ‘the look’?”

“Which look? I have about twenty.”

“More like forty. I’ve counted them.  But you know the one I’m talking about. Mille and the twins all have it. That one that clearly says you’re tired of someone’s shit and ready to show hands.”

“In that case, yes. I gave her ‘the look’.”

“And the principal never came out?”

“Nope.”

Esme snorts. “What a pussy!”

“I don’t know what his issue is. I’m not that scary.”

“Sure you’re not,” she laughs. “You’re so scary, Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight on.”

Tyler smirks. “Now that’s a good one.”

“So what they say? What’s the punishment?”

“They wanted to suspend him for four days. But I wouldn’t sign that papers until all the little pricks got in trouble too. Why is our kid the only one catching shit when all he was going was standing up for his brother? And defending himself when the other little fucks jumped him.”

“Think this is the elementary school version of the Goonies from hell?”

Tyler laughs at that. “That’s exactly what they are. The Australian version of Farhad and his buddies.”

“We have to find something to laugh about when it comes to Dhaka, right?”

He nods in agreement. “Secretary said the other parents will want an apology.”

“Fuck them.”

“And that they could press charges.”

“Give me a break. He’s five.”

“It’s still assault. She’s right about that.”

“Well if that’s assault, then so is what they did to him. They jumped a five-year-old. Who turned around and beat the hell out of them.”

“Millie said it was...and this is a direct quote from our daughter...’fucking awesome’. Is it wrong that I would have loved to have seen that? Just watch him destroy those kids. He’s in kindergarten and he’s taking on older kids. A group of them.  At the same time. And he’s winning. Now come on, that’s impressive.”

“And did you hear what he just said? About teaching bad people a lesson? I wonder he gets THAT from.”

“I know you hate when I say this about any of them, but that kid is all me. There’s no denying whose DNA was more powerful when he was made.”

“No one wants to hear about your stellar genes or your super sperm or whatever you’re going to say next.”

“No one,” he grins. “Meaning you. Don’t be bitter about this. I’m sorry your genes just could not compete that day. That they didn’t show up until the very last one. It’s not my fault that they were asleep at the wheel.”

“I’m going to smother you in your sleep one day and no one will be the wiser. They’ll probably sympathize me, actually. That poor girl; putting up with his bullshit for so long. No wonder she didn’t do it sooner.”

“Listen, anyone who knows you, knows you don’t put it with bullshit. And that I’m one who’s been putting up with yours for almost seven years. Don’t act all innocent. You’re tiny but you take no shit from anyone. Like one of those dogs people carry around in their purses. They look all cute and sweet, but they’ll take out your Achilles tendon and then go for your jugular once you’re down.”

“One day Tyler...” she muses with a dramatic sigh. “...one day I will bring you down. You’ll be begging for mercy when I finally get a hold of you.”

“You’ve had me begging before, so...”

“Okay, during sex does not count. I’m talking about making you beg for mercy. Because the next time you compare me to some angry animal...”

“So I can’t ever bring out the comparison to a honey badger?”

“I will seriously kick you in the nuts! “

“Considering how short you are, it’d have to be a head butt.”

“Do you want to see your forty first birthday?” She laughs, and he chuckles and wraps an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into his, lips pressing against her temple. “Do you think they will?” she asks, turning serious once again. “Want to press charges?”

“I doubt it.  They’ll be embarrassed when they find out a kindergarten kid that’s still afraid of the dark beat the fuck out of their spawn.  At the same time.”

“You’re a little too proud about that.”

“I’m so fucking proud of that kid I could cry,” Tyler admits.

Esme rolls her eyes.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the school calls the child protection people again.  Because I’m too ‘aggressive’ and a ‘bad influence’.  I’ll fucking show them aggressive if they show up here. I’ve got lots of property I can hide bodies on.”

“Okay, how about we NOT kill the child services person. Chances are they won’t even show up because last time they found nothing against us, and they were pissed at the school for wasting their time. So...” she carries their dirty dishes to the sink, then stands behind him and curls back around his waist and rests her head against his back. “...let’s not even think about that. I’m proud of you. For handling things as well as you did. I thought for sure you’d have an anxiety attack going there. But you held in there and kicked some ass. Maybe not literally, but still. You did awesome, baby.  Progress!”

“Do I get a gold star on the chore chart chore of it?” he chides. “I think I’m on three out of five days of good behavior and responsibilities met.”

“Oh, I’ll give you something later for it,” she promises.  “You do realize that even though this time was justified, our son still has issues, right?”

Tyler sighs. “I know. He takes after me, yeah? Of course he has issues.”

“Baby, he’s five and he’s been through a lot and he’s having a hard time processing it all. This has nothing to do with you. Stop beating yourself up over things you can’t control. You didn’t do this to Tyler in the same way you didn’t do something that made Austin sick. Have you had that dream again?”

“Not since we talked about it. Doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it. Obsessing over shit. About her turning six. But no. I haven’t had the dream since that night.”

“Then stop. Please. Stop hating yourself for things that are beyond your control. You’re not a horrible person, Tyler. You’re a good person who has had to some horrible things.”

“You have a lot of faith in me.”

“Well, I kind of like you a little bit, so...”

“We’ve moved up to like, huh?” he teases, as he turns around to face her, hands settling on her hips. “Only took almost seven years to get past the tolerating me stage.”

“Don’t push it. There’s days where my tolerance level is pretty low. Because let me tell you, as cute as you are, there are times where you just drive me absolutely batshit insane.”

“But you’d miss me. If you woke up one day and I was gone.”

“I don’t even like hearing you joke about that. That is not something I like to think about, let alone talk about. Especially now that we’ve got this Ovi bullshit hanging over our heads and the very real possibility that you’re going to get back into things and...”

“And we’re not going to worry about that shit unless we have to,” he finishes for her. “Stop,” he implores, taking her face in his hands and kissing her softly.  “We are nowhere near anything like that going down. That’s weeks away. If not months. It isn’t going to happen overnight. So I need you to stop thinking about it, okay?”

Esme nods, but the tears sparkling in her eyes gives away her true feelings.

“Don’t do that. Please. Don’t look at me like that,” he begs, and places a palm on the back of her head and pulls her into him. “Everything is going to be okay. It might not even come to that. Me having to leave.”

Her arms wrap around his waist, hands sliding under the bottom of his t-shirt and her index fingers hooking around the belt loops on his jeans. “I know you’re trying out the whole optimistic gig, but when you actually don’t sound optimistic, it doesn’t work very well. This shouldn’t even be happening. We shouldn’t even have to worry about this. It was supposed to be behind us.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. That this is shit is even happening. It’s not what I wanted. Trust me.”

“It’s not exactly your fault. You didn’t put all that crap in Ovi’s head. I just didn’t want you dragged back into this. Not now. Not ever. We have five kids that need you. Why didn’t he think of that? Of the people here that need you to come home safe and sound.”

“Because he’s a fucking drongo, that’s why. But you know what? There’s a chance I won’t even have to go anywhere. And that’s the chance I need you to think about. Can you do that? For me? Start thinking about how I may NOT have to go instead of convincing yourself that I AM going. Because one of us needs to be the strong one right now, and if I’m totally honest, I don’t feel like being that person.”

“You don’t have to be,” she says. “You know that. You don’t have to always be strong, Tyler. Sometimes you need someone to be strong for you. That that’s okay. No matter what someone told you or what you saw or heard growing up, there’s nothing wrong with NOT being strong. And fuck anyone who ever made you feel otherwise. Your father, Gaspar. Fuck them both.”

“I’m so fucking pissed,” he admits. “At Ovi. At Nik. At everyone and everything. I’m angry and I’m frustrated, and you know what? I’m fucking terrified. Because I don’t know if I can do that shit anymore. The job. I don’t know if I have it in me. Physically or mentally. And if I fuck up even in the smallest way, I’m NOT coming home. And that scares me the most.”

She tightens her hold on him; fingers releasing the belt loops and now gripping the back of his shirt, face buried in his chest.  “It’s okay,” she says. “To be scared. You can be scared with me, Tyler.”

Dropping a kiss on the top of her head, he buries his face in her hair and closes his eyes.  It’s comforting; the feel of her body pressed against his, the smoothness of her skin and the heat that radiates off of it, the familiar scent that clings to her hair. There are so many little things that he tends to take for granted. The way she’ll stand on the top of his feet to kiss him because she thinks those couple of inches gained make a remarkable difference. How she’ll just wander into the gym in the middle of a workout and not say a word or even make eye contact with him yet leave a bottle of water where he can find it. Or how she’ll just silently reach for his hand and hold it while they sit on the patio outside of their bedroom and watch the sunrise together.  

Little things he’d miss in a huge way if they suddenly ceased to exist.  

[hennessystevens-udaku]

PAWN

Charlie stared cheekily at the woman standing transfixed in the darkness ahead of her. Her beautiful, intelligent sister wife had followed Erik like a stowaway and he ain’t even know it, that freaking tiny genius. She curved her manicured finger beckoning Henny closer to the glass.

“You wanna be a king,” Charlie asked, leaning in. Henny wanted it, Charlie could see it in her big brown eyes. They yearned for control. She had the makings, but she had to deliberately choose it. “The queen is the most valuable player on the board, so by right our Dominant only holds the power we allow him. Baby girl, you already hold the high cards, you just gotta pull your rank. Tell me you feel me.”

“Oh I feel you. I got some stuff I wanna do,” Henny asserted, her eyebrows rising. She was serious and already plotting. Charlie grinned, excitement bubbling. She loved this side of Henny. So determined, so eager, so ready to explore. She just needed some light guidance and as sure as Kimora was her dance teacher, she’d teach Henny to dom. If anything, it would shock the heck out of Erik. Maybe she’d even get to watch.

“You’ll do them all if you remember these three things. One, our man is a total brat which means he is submissive. Behind his bravado lies a sub begging to be tamed.” All of the sister wives including herself were submissive brats, but Henny placed in the top tier when it came to high ratios of brattiness. She was 100% Brat while Charlie was a switch.

“Two, if you know what you like then you know what to give. If you like it there’s a good chance he will too. Use that to make him beg. And three, don’t bruise his ego unless you plan to heal it. We don’t want to break him emotionally for a scene, but I know that’s not an issue you’d have.”

“Hell no, we get enough of his emo ass. I just wanna make him grovel for once, switch positions.” Charlie smirked thinking of the scenarios they’d get up to.

“I’d like to see that. How about this, I’m a feel him out when we get back to the hotel and if it’s a go, I’ll let you know. If you liked what you saw of him tonight, you’re gonna love seeing what else he’s capable of.”

---

Hennessy’s big doe eyes twinkled in the glow of the neon purple light. She was intrigued by the idea of making Erik her bitch, having him grovel at her feet being an underlying kink of hers. She wasn’t necessarily dominant in nature, but she did enjoy being in control.

She felt the energy shifting within the small room, a tell-tell sign that her alter ego was stirring. This sort of thing was right up Kitana’s alley and it had been so long since she’d been out to play. For the first time in her 26 years, Hennessy surrendered herself to the woman, allowing Charlie to use her in whatever ways she saw fit. Afterall, one can’t expect to dominate successfully if they didn’t play the submissive role every once in a while.

---

Back at the aparthotel, there were four rented rooms, three people per room. A little shuffling around and Charlie and Hennessy were able to finesse a room together with Erik, at least for the night. Erik's body immediately gravitated to Charlie. With no border between them she knew he planned to beat the pink out of her pussy, but as much as she wanted that.. there was business to take care of. She rushed to her suitcase and pulled her cuffs.

“Uh-uh, babygirl, you think you finna restrain me and I ain't touched you in days,” he asked reaching out quickly again and again, but Charlie dodged each time sending a slight wink to Henny. “Come here,” he commanded, his finger pointing down. She knew what that meant, but she wasn't dropping to the floor tonight.

“What I say to call me? Just because the location changed doesn't mean our arrangement did. For the next few hours, I own you or until I say otherwise,” she dodged his cat-like lunge having played this cat and mouse game with him several times before.

“See Henny, with two dominants.. power struggles are bound to happen, but the true dominant is patient and does not relent. Erik, babe, you gone have to switch the reigns tonight because I know exactly what I want from you and I'll have it before the night is through.”

“ChaCha.. You think I can't just catch you if I wanna catch you?” He grinned, poised to strike yet again.

“Oh I know you can, but you haven't which means you want me to forcefully take control. Why? Cuz you a freaky ass bratty nigga. Don't ever forget that I know you as well as you know me, babyboy..” His eyes went pleadingly to Henny who was watching, entertained. “Nah, don't look at her! Your wife on my side. Come here, Hennessy!” With the quickness, Henny moved to Charlie's side, sticking out her tongue at Erik.

“Ohh.. I'm a get yo lil munchkin ass,” he said nodding his head in betrayal. He was too calm, he would definitely get her eventually, but for now Henny was protected.

“You ain't even know she followed you tonight did you? You got a smartass wife, better tighten up, beloved. If you don't want your cover blown further, that is. In the meantime..” Charlie approached Erik slowly, but with unwavering confidence. The look in his eye said she wouldn't even need the cuffs this time.

“On your knees,” Charlie demanded coolly and Erik narrowed his eyes, leaning in challenge into her space, an intimidation attempt. A loud slap crossed his cheek followed by her soft palm rubbing at the spot of impact. Charlie's lips were at his ear, whispering. “You know the rules, love, we only ask once.”

“I'm a get you back,” he said point blank with strong eye contact before Charlie rounded him again and kicked in his kneecaps, taking him down to the floor..

“I know.. But for now, you're on my time. Be a good bitch or I'll make it worse and little Henny gonna see what a naughty boy you really are.”

“Yes, King Jade,” he said not wanting to go full little boy around Henny. If he'd called her Mama Jade, that would've been Charlie's cue to go full Mommy Dom. Charlie knew the signs.

“Bitch it is, then,” Charlie said fetching a collar and leash she'd packed. It was a plain black leather collar and a black leash. After attaching them to Erik's thick neck as he kneeled, she wrapped the free end of the leash around her hand tightly, leading him to crawl in a circle before mounting his back and riding him across the aparthotel room. Henny looked on in shock as her usually sadistic and brolic dominant crawled back in forth on all fours like a masochist, arms bulging. Erik's eyes avoided hers in uncertainty. He had no reason to feel embarrassed, Henny wasn't judging like he thought. She was feeling it. If he looked up he'd see.

“Sub tonight or dom,” Charlie mouthed to Henny. It was either Dom or be dommed. To Charlie's surprise, she chose to sub. Magic words. “Hennessy. Why you got on clothes in my room?” Charlie asked aloud this time. “Where you think you bout to go? Take that shit off and stand right there,” Charlie pointed to an empty space, “Shoulders back, chin up, don't move.” She pulled the leash halting Erik's movements. “Park it,” she commanded and he sat kneeling on his heels in front of Henny in his briefs. Charlie climbed off and pulled his head back roughly by his ponytail. A look in Erik’s eyes showed his surprise as he looked up at Henny. Suddenly, he was really, really into this.

“Henny, put your leg over Erik's shoulder.” Charlie said dropping Erik's head. Henny threw her leg over his large shoulder and Erik looked to Charlie, hunger in his eyes. Charlie nodded her head, “Sick her!”

Like a wild animal, Erik attacked the junction between Henny's meaty thighs, his hands pulling her closer, gripping ass and thigh. He lapped at her entrance like it was life itself. Henny opened her mouth, sound welling up.

“Ah ah,” Charlie warned, “We have a rule. You speak or make a sound without permission? You get punished. If I were you, I wouldn't.”

“Shit,” Henny breathed in true bratty fashion. She couldn't control it. “Hennessy! I told you! Now you gotta take it for the next fifteen minutes and if you cum or talk or make a sound, your tongue is going in his ass. Don't worry, it's clean.” Charlie knew it was something Henny never wanted to do. She'd refuse, but that's why it was a punishment. Like, losing a dare. If she made a sound, Charlie would press her face right into Erik's ass and in this moment HE would do whatever Charlie said. This was the price of disobedience in King Jade's castle. Henny’s face twisted and distorted and her body writhed as Erik fed his hunger voraciously, but Charlie noticed humorously that she ain't make a peep.

“Alright, down boy,” Charlie said pulling the leash after fifteen minutes of watching. She was wet herself after watching Henny squirm. “You did good Henny! I'm proud of you. I'd have cum,” Charlie chuckled. She'd have been a goner after ten minutes the way her husband was eating. Good thing it wasn't her. “Henny. On your knees.” Henny dropped and kneeled, face to face with Erik. Charlie was high off of power. “Tongues out, both of you,” she said palming both of their heads and pushing them together. Their tongues twisted together aggressively pushing into each other's mouths, Erik trying to dominate Henny through use of his thick, long tongue. Charlie silently willed Henny to fight back, pushing her head and her tongue lashed out, battling fiercely. Erik was on rock, pitching a tent in his briefs. He reached out to grope Henny's full hanging breasts, unwilling to control himself.

“Nope,” Charlie swatted his hand and then his cheek with a slap. “Behave.” He groaned and it was another strike. Charlie yanked him back by his ponytail. “Henny wins!”

“Now Henny gets to cum, but how is the question.” Charlie rubbed her chin, plotting. Hennessy turned to Charlie, her big doe eyes shining with want.

“King Jade?” she purred.

“Yes Princess?”

“I want to ride,” she called back, staring hungrily at the tent in Erik’s pants.

“Erik. Lie on the bed on your back and be still, hands behind your head. Don't move. Henny. Straddle that dick. I want it to disappear in that pussy.” She waited for them to find their positions, watching Henny split herself on his pole. She knew the feeling and was laughing inside, the smile on her face clear. “You know you take that dick, don't bite your lip now,” Charlie teased pulling on Henny's bottom lip, freeing it. ”Now ride that dick. I wanna hear balls slapping ass every time you come down. When you come up, say ‘Thank you King Jade.’”

---

The words spilled from Henny’s lips like a prayer. If she’d known what she knew now, she would’ve asked this a long time ago. Seeing Erik in this way only made her desire for her beloved husband grow. It also made her more excited to know the kinds of things she’d have him doing when she was the one in control. He couldn't keep himself from moving under her, his hips thrusting desperately. His hands threatened to leave their positions and grab her, desperate to control the movements of her hips. She began to slow her pace as his thrusts began to falter under her, a tell-tell sign that he was close to his peak. She bounced a few more times, still singing praises to King Jade before hopping off, his glazed dick still pointing at the sky. If looks could kill, Hennessy would be dead on sight as Erik’s face twisted in a mixture of anger, confusion, and sexual desperation.

“Where the fuck you going?!” Charlie and Erik barked in unison. The little brat only giggled in response.

“He was about to cum, King Jade, and naughty boys don’t deserve to cum,” she replied with her most innocent smile. She had traces of Erik's sadism having been married to him for so long. Charlie nodded, in agreement with her logic.

“But good girls get multiple orgasms. Get yo ass back down. ERIK. Finish her. No hands. No dick.”

—

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THE HOUSEHOLD: @alyshastevens-udaku @wyldjuan @itsangeludaku @thehomiekillmonger @lovemecharlie @itskimorafireudaku @poosypoosy @bastioncarterstevens-udaku

[thisxolove]

Nothing Without You (Chapter 3)

Nickiah

I was shaving my legs when I suddenly heard a loud thud on the floor! The noise startled me so much that I felt a sting in my leg.

Red blood began dripping down my leg. Fuck I cut myself!

But I’m too concerned with the noise to tend to it now! I throw the razor down and swing the bathroom door wide open. The light coming from inside the bathroom illuminated the dark room just enough for me to see Abel lying flat backed on the floor!

His eyes were closed and he looked unconscious!

Immediately I flipped on the light switch before dashing down on my knees beside him.

“Abel! Abel! Wake up!” I began screaming.

I wasn’t getting any response from him and I was beginning to panic.

I jumped to my feet and ran into the bathroom. With shaking hands, I grabbed a face towel, filled it with cold water before rushing back to the room.

Standing in the doorway was my first born, AJ.

“Ma, what’s wrong with daddy??” he asked with panic.

I stuttered to answer him. I really didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with him myself.

“Baby, he’s just sleeping. He fell asleep on the floor!”

My voice just sounded so anxious and my 11 year old wasn’t buying it. He walked into the bedroom and got down on his knees before slapping Abel in the face.

“Daddy wake up!” AJ says.

He began hitting him all over, trying to desperately wake him. I could easily see the worry all in his face and that shit unsettled me even more! My baby shouldn’t be seeing this shit! What the fuck is wrong with Abel?!

Quickly jumping from my knees, I ran to grab my phone from the charger. I gave it to AJ.

“Call 9-1-1, AJ!” I advised him.

Just as my son got to the dial pad on my phone, I squeezed the cold water from the towel all over Abel’s face.

No sooner than the water splashed onto his face, his eyes popped wide open. They were still deep red, but they were open and that calmed my nerves a little bit.

I grabbed AJ’s arm to stop him from alerting the police before turning my focus back on Abel. Just as relieved as I was, I was also curious to know what the fuck was wrong with him! I knew something wasn’t right with him tonight!

“Daddy, you okay!?” AJ asked, beating me to the question.

“Huh? Yeah. I’m good,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “That fuckin’ light is too bright.”

He covered his eyes to shield it from the light showing in the bedroom. I didn’t really care. He needed to stay his ass awake for a while.

“Abel what the fuck is wrong with you?!” I exclaimed.

AJ looked up at me when he noticed my voice change.

“Nothin’ I just, shit, I don’t know. I fell asleep I guess.”

“On the damn floor?!”

“Baby, I don’t remember shit. I just need to go to bed. My fuckin’ head hurts.”

He grabbed a hold of his head before slowly sitting up. I tried to assist him but he threw his arm up, insisting that he was fine. I wasn’t really buying that shit though.

“AJ, what you doing in here?” he asks.

“I heard mom screaming and it woke me up.”

“Oh, I’m good lil’ man. You can go back to bed.”

“You sure? Why you fall out, dad?”

“I’m with AJ on this one. I wanna know what the fuck is going on! I told you something was wrong with you!” I grouched.

“Got damn it! Nicki would you stop fuckin’ sayin’ that! I’m fuckin’ fine! I told you I just needed to sleep this shit off!”

“Sleep what fuckin’ shit off?!” I asked, getting suspicious.

Abel

Fuck! Did I just say that?! Man, I’m really fuckin’ up now!

“The fuckin’ weed, man. It’s nothin’ serious!”

I was getting more irritated at myself than her, but I seriously wanted her to drop this shit!

“You better lower your got damn voice, Abel! I ain’t playin’ with you!” she barked back.

One thing about Nicki is that she’ll go toe to toe with me in a fight, but shit that never stopped me from getting my point across. She needs to drop this shit!

“Stop fuckin’ bringing this shit up! I’m fine!”

“Nigga I found your ass on the fuckin’ floor unresponsive! The fuck you mean ‘you fine’??”

I looked over at my son and saw him raising his eyebrows as if to say it was awkward for him to be in on this argument, but this definitely isn’t the first time me and his mom have argued in front of him. He got a lot of that growing up cuz we both were fucked up when we first had him.

Flashback

Eight Years Earlier – June of 2016

Nickiah

This particular night Abel was cooking. I loved his cooking, it was different from what I’m used to, well the seasonings he used at least. I swear I love men who can cook.

“this smells delicious daddie, what is it?”

“well I did grow up around my mom, I guess I picked up a few things. Nothing special just some pepper chicken stir fry with white rice and spicy salsa poured on top of it”

I looked at all the different colored sliced peppers frying in the skillet and the grilled chicken strips on the stove, the white rice in the pot and the spicy tortilla chip sauce jar sitting on the counter, damn my baby could cook.

AJ was sitting on phone books at the table; he’s pretty short for his young age of three years old. He was playing a game on my phone.

I sat down in the chair and thought to bring up something I had been thinking about

“sooo baby, I was thinking about having a barbecue party here for the 4th of July next month, what do you think?”

“you know I’m always down to party baby, ain’t no thang” he said. He never turned around from cooking

“but I was thinking more along the lines of just family”

“cool, I’ll call the niggas over and it’ll be cool”

“you mwean uncle Lamar and Hywy (he means Hyghly)?” AJ said

“yeah, and the rest of the crew”

“uhhh I meant like family, family…like  your mother, my parents, things like that”

“my friends are my brothers and I’m not inviting my mom out to a party like that because I know how I get with the crew”

“I’m only saying, I just, I just don’t um I don’t think that’ll be a good idea around my family”

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean Nicki??”

“I mean, they kind of are disrespectful…”

“they know how to handle themselves, I’m no different from them”

“I don’t know, sometimes I just think they’re influencing you to do all of those drugs”

“I’m a grown ass man, ain’t nobody influencin’ me to do a got damn thing” he said turning around, I knew I had hit a nerve in him

“I’m just sayin Abel”

“I’m just sayin’ too, if your girls can come with no problem so can my boys too, they’re considered your family and so are my niggas, they’re the uncles of my son…”

I kind of didn’t like them being AJ’s uncle, I was pretty scared they would influence him into the drug lifestyle but I kept quiet about it

“I know, I’m just saying…”

“me too, if your friends can come as family then so can my niggas, best believe it” he said in a stern, serious tone as he turned back around to the stove

“I just don’t want them getting high and faded in front of my family, that’s all”

“so what? You’re embarrassed of them? I mean we’re cut from the same cloth, if you’re embarrassed of them then you’re embarrassed of me”

“baby you’re different from them”

“no I’m not, we’re one in the same”

I stopped talking

“oh and no need to be embarrassed, we’ll just do the weed, we wont do anything too extreme, and if we did do something extreme you really think I would do it around my baby??”

“I know you wouldn’t Abel I’m just saying!”

“well shut the fuck up because you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!”

“nigga you shut the fuck up! I don’t know who you think you’re talkin’ to!”

“um mommy…” AJ said in a low voice, he turned around towards the stove seeing us arguing

“I’m talkin’ to you because you always do this shit! You always talkin’ shit about my friends forgettin’ who the fuck you married! I’m that same nigga from the strip club that night Nicki! I’m not gonna do anything to fuckin’ embarrass you! I know how to handle myself! I wouldn’t do that shit in front of my baby what the fuck are you thinking?? I don’t want my mom out here because she already can’t stand the thought of me being addicted but to see me feeding the addiction? It’d break her heart and I’m not prepared for that shit, damn try to fucking understand! If your girls can come to the party then best believe it, my niggas will be there too”

“daddy…” AJ said again in a low voice, I think he was pretty scared

“Abel! Shut the fuck up! I heard enough!”

“I mean shit its in the bible Nicki, fuck are you judging them for? You aren’t any better than any of us”

“oh so now you’re throwing the bible in my face??”

“if the shoe fits why not?”

“fuck you!”

“fuck you too!”

“I need to leave for a minute”

“good leave, that’s what you’re fucking good at isn’t it?” he said

“shut the fuck up! What the fuck are you good at nigga? It’s a lot of shit I can say about you!”

“I know what I’m good at, I can do a lot of things, one of them is sittin’ here cookin’ so my son can have somethin’ to eat since your stubborn ass wants to leave”

“shut the hell up Abel!”

“its cool, go for your little drive, I’ll just “play mommy” until you get back”

“mommy you’re weaving?” AJ said

“I’ll be right back baby, stay here with daddy, I’ll be back in an hour”

I looked into his big brown eyes, he looked pretty sad. I don’t think he understood what Abel and I were arguing about so it scared him that we were breaking up cuz of it. I had to leave before I cried. I walked out of the loft into the hallway to the elevator.

Abel

I can’t believe this shit, why does she always do this stupid shit!

“daddy, is mommy really coming bwack?”

“yeah, she just needed to breathe for a minute”

“you’re stwill gwonna bwe with her right?”

“yeah little dude, we always do this, I still love her, she just has a problem with accepting your uncles”

“why? Thwey’re cwool”

“I know, but mommy has issues when it comes to trusting people”

“will shwe be okay?”

“she’ll be cool, you wanna watch tv until I finish cooking?”

“yeah”

He got down off the seat and walked into the living room and put in his favorite movie of all fucking time, Cars.

I finally finished cooking and had everything wrapped up and covered over the stove as I sat at the kitchen table.

“AJ you wanna eat yet?”

“no, not yet daddy” I heard him yell from the living room

I didn’t have shit else to do but lay my head on the table. I was pretty hurt because I’m sick of feeling like I’m being pulled between the people I love. I would do anything for my girl and my niggas to get a long but they just don’t like each other for shit. It also hurt that she judged them when I’m the same type of nigga as them; it feels like she’s embarrassed of me too. It hurt that she always wanted to leave when shit like this happened. I hate this shit, my eyes were filling from the stress, sometimes I wanted to give up, and then it’s like nah I won’t give up. Damn, I wish my life wouldn’t be like this. I wouldn’t let the tears fall, I sniffed up my nose and wiped my eyes on my arm as I laid on the kitchen table waiting for her to come back.

End Flashback

Abel

“AJ, you can go to bed. Everything’s good here, man.”

He looked at me as though he was unsure. I nodded my head toward the door to assure him that I meant it.

He stood up from our floor and hugged his mom before walking towards the door.

“Night, dad,” he said, standing in the doorway.

“Goodnight, AJ.”

Nicki folded her arms. “What the fuck is going on with you Abel??”

AJ left before being a part of World War III in our bedroom again.

“What? Man, just leave it alone. I told you I just need to go to sleep.”

“Why the fuck you falling out in the middle of the floor? I’m worried for you.”

“I’m good, Nicki. You’re over-thinkin’ shit again. Just chill out for a minute and let me calm down.”

“Weed has never done this shit to you, Abel. What the fuck? I’m over here worrying that you’re starting to get sick again.”

“Again? Girl, I’m good,” I stood from the bedroom floor.

Changing out of my white bath towel into my boxer shorts and plaid pajama pants, I walk over to the bed with my eyes squinted at the bright lights in the bedroom.

“Turn that light out, girl. It’s burning my fuckin’ eyes.”

She stood up and looked down at her leg. Blood had collected on the hardwood floor.

“Shit!” she grumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“I cut my fucking leg!”

Nickiah

I went back into the washroom and cleaned myself up with a bandage. As I walk out back into our bedroom, I notice Abel snoring loudly in the bed. He’s fast asleep.

I stood there for a moment with my eyebrows wrinkled. I’m worried about him and I don’t know what’s going on. I get the feeling that maybe he’s hiding something from me and I know I shouldn’t feel that way. I need to trust my husband, but this shit is suspicious.

I cleaned up the blood and went to bed beside him for the night.

Two Weeks Later

My parents still haven’t given up there Chicago home. We flew out there, along with my two younger brothers, Jeremy and CJ, who live in Los Angeles as well.

Since it’s September, we thought about coming back out here for my father and brothers birthdays. They’re all September babies and it’s very convenient to get all those birthdays out of the way in one sitting.

Jeremy is turning 31 this month and CJ is turning 28 this month. I’m so proud of my little brothers. My dad, who is Nick Jonas, has been working really hard on his music. He’s even taken inspiration from Abel for his latest album. That really touched my heart.

Anyway, my beautiful mother is cooking up a big dinner for us all to eat at the house. It’s so exciting! I love coming back to my childhood home!

Abel

I’m kind of nervous. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we come to her family’s house pretty often when we can, but it still gets to me. Maybe it’s the type of music I make that makes me feel awkward and squeamish in front of her family – especially her dad. This shit is weird. I mean, he did draw inspiration from me, but I doubt it was my explicit shit that got him. I’ve been a part of the Jonas family for over 10 years now and I still get a burden in my stomach whenever we’re having some sort of gathering.

Nicki’s little sisters are here and all grown up. Angel’s like 24 and Christian is 20. It’s crazy man. I remember when they were babies and I was first meeting them.

Flashback

January of 2012

Nickiah

My little sisters Angel and Christian ran up to hug me, I love my girls.

“hey sis!!” Angel said to me

“we missed you!” little Christian said to me, I picked her up

“who is this Nicki” Angel said

“this is my boyfriend sis”

“what’s his name?”

“its The Weeknd sis” CJ told her

“ohhhhh like Saturday and Sunday….” She was so goofy lol

“more like Thursday lol” Abel said

“but why would you be Thursday, if you’re The Weeknd? You’re Saturday and Sunday to me.”

I saw Abel laugh at her comment; so far things were going great.

“hey little Christy don’t you want to say something to him” she was incredibly shy

“nooo” she said in a low voice kind of turning away

“its okay, I’m good with kids lol she’ll get used to me” Abel said

“ohhhh wait you’re the guy that CJ and Ja always listens to, but they turn you off when I walk in the room hmmmmm” Angel said

“you wouldn’t understand what I say lol” he said

“kind of like I don’t understand why you want to be Thursday when you’re The Weeknd” she said walking away, she was pretty feisty at age 12 kind of like I was

I laughed at her, she reminded me of myself.

End Flashback

Abel

They were only 8 and 12 back then. Time has really flew by.

“Hey, Abel, mind if I talk to you for a minute?” Nicki’s dad, Nick said to me.

Shit! This was literally the worst time for this shit!

“Um, sure. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick,” I said.

I walk away to the guest bathroom in the big estate and pull out a small, rolled up, plastic bag from my back pocket. There, the pretty blue pills sat staring me dead in my face.

I made a big mistake coming here completely sober. Grant it, I did the clean thing for a few years, but I feel like it destroyed my music. It destroyed my image. It just destroyed me. At first it was cool, but I’m really more anxious without my supply.

And since I didn’t have time to roll up a blunt, I’d just take my chances with rolling on these beans tonight. What’s the worst that could happen, right? It’ll just calm me down and kill off that serotonin in my brain. I’ll be happy as fuck and that’s what I needed to get through this night.

Quickly, without giving myself a chance to second guess my choice, I threw two into my mouth and ran some water from the sink into the cups of my palms before slurping it up. When the pills slid down my throat, I instantly felt better. Call it that placebo effect or whatever you want. I know the pills haven’t reached my blood stream yet, but just the thought of it coming very soon boosted my mood. Hopefully it hurries up because I need this high for this ‘talk’ I’m about to have with Nicki’s dad.

I left the bathroom after carefully placing the plastic wrap back into my pocket.

“I’m ready,” I said to him.

He nodded his head towards the patio outside the glass sliding door. I followed behind.

There were seats out there that I took advantage of. I tried to make myself as comfortable as possible for whatever this was. I always hated when Nick wanted to talk to me one on one.

“So, how you been?” he asked.

“I’m good. You?”

“Things are going good,” he replies, grabbing a seat on a nearby stool. “I’m proud of you, son.”

Son? The sound of that really touched me in some way. I never had a father and never had someone calling me ‘son’. It always felt good to feel welcomed by Nicki’s family.

I looked up and smiled at him. “Really?”

“Yeah, man. You killed it with Beauty Behind the Madness. It stayed on the airways for months at a time. You’ve worked really hard and you deserve it.”

“Wow, thanks, man. I really appreciate that.”

“It was so good that I had to take some inspiration from it myself.”

“Anytime, man. I draw inspiration from anywhere. Your music has been dope too.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” he says with a smile before blowing out a breath. “So how’s your sobriety? Are you still going strong?”

Damn it. Why did this have to come up? I knew it would sooner or later, though.

“Um,” I paused as my mind became conscious of the faded feeling filling my brain, “I’m doing pretty good.”

“I know you’ve been working sober lately and I wanted to know how it feels to still sing about the substances you used to use and not actually be using them at that time.”

In my mind, I wanted to tell him so badly that it sucked like shit. I hated writing ‘Can’t Feel My Face’ about coke usage and not actually be snorting. I hated saying “Don’t believe the rumors; bitch, I’m still a user.” In ‘Tell Your Friends’. That shit felt so generic and fake to me. But I pushed through it with only the weed in my system for my family. I’m running out of tolerance for this ‘sober’ life and I’m ready to get back to work the way I know how to.

“Uh,” I stuttered, “Nah. It was pretty cool. I wasn’t tripping too much about it. I know so much about the lifestyle that I can write about it like it’s still happening, you know?” I said with a small chuckle.

“Yeah. I understand, but just be careful. Singing so much about it can bring back those urges and make you miss the feelings you’re describing in your music because it’s still glorifying the drug usage as if it’s a great thing.”

In my mind I’m thinking that he just doesn’t know the half of it.

“No, I feel you,” my brain begins to excite me as the serotonin explodes inside of me. I smile for no reason. “You’re absolutely right. I got you and I’m gonna keep that advice in my mind.”

Being so happy, rolling on the ecstasy had me agreeing to shit that I knew I wasn’t living up to just because I was in such a positive mood. Shit had me cheesing like a kid in a candy store.

“Good. How’s your marriage?”

“Good. Everything’s going great with us,” knowing damn well Nicki been getting suspicious of me lately.

“Great. I don’t mean to probe into your lives. I just care and worry for you guys. You’re going down a huge explosion of fame right now and let me tell you, things change when you suddenly ‘make it’ in this industry.”

“What you mean?” I ask.

“Well, you just blew up in the mainstream with your last project. From here on out, whatever your next move will be could make you or break you. You’ve finally got the world’s attention. They’re listening carefully. They’re watching your every move now. You have to be careful. The fame status definitely changes people.”

I smile, “I feel you, but I can never switch up like that. The only thing I’ll do is just reinvent my sound and character in my projects but I’ma always be myself.”

“Okay, just make sure you be careful,” he urges.

“I promise I will.”

“If you ever need to talk, you know how to reach me.”

I nodded with a smile, “No doubt. Thanks, man.”

“You’re welcome.”

I stand up and walk back into the house with him. I’m smiling like shit. I see my gorgeous queen sitting with her sexy legs crossed on the couch. Damn. She lookin’ like a snack right now. My tongue slightly exits my mouth in lust, then I realized that I was rolling on the disco biscuits right now, so my sex drive is in overdrive. Baby lookin’ sweeter than a swisher.

I look down at my denims and see a slight bulge in my pants. I know damn well my dick ain’t getting hard right now. This shit is awkward.

“Hey, daddie. You okay?” Nicki said to me.

“I’m good, ma.”

She gets up and wraps her arms around my neck. Leaning into my neck, she whispers into my ear, “Remember when we fucked here years ago, baby?”

It’s almost like she’s reading my mind. I love how nasty my baby is. That shit drives me crazy, but now that I’m rolling this shit is too strong on me. I gotta pull back before I end up fucking that pussy in front of her entire family. I swear these beans will make you do some freaky shit you ain’t never know you could do.

“Yeah, I remember that shit, baby,” I said with lust.

I started sweating and that pressure built up in my dick. I knew I had to release the extra fluid from it. I had to pee just to get myself through this dinner at least. The more pressure in my dick, the hornier I get.

“You’re sweating, daddie. You okay?” she asks, rubbing her hand over my moist forehead.

“I’m good, baby. Just let me go to the bathroom really quick, alright?”

“Alright, daddie.”

I walk past her straight to the bathroom that was not too far from the living room. As soon as I walk in the doorway, I become startled seeing 20 year old Christian standing in the bathroom with a puzzled look on her face.

She was holding something in the palm of her hand as she stood there examining it closely.

“Christian, what’s wrong?”

She looks up at me, “I stepped on this.”

As she held her hand out to me, my heart sank at the sight of a light blue pill in her palm. My stomach dropped. Fuck! I can’t let this secret get out!

“Abel, what’s this?” she asks.

I swallowed hard. Damn. How am I gonna get out of this one?

[loseitall-ff]

22.

Watching Robyn take my old clothing and place them in her weekend bag “excuse me young lady, are you stealing my clothes?” I have been stood here just watching her do this, she was doing this on the sly because I was supposed to be downstairs “uhm, washing your clothes” walking into the bedroom slowly “sure, if you want. You can take some of my cleaner clothes, I know you like wearing them” Robyn didn’t bother to look at me as she packed the clothes in, wrapping my arms around her waist, placing my head on her shoulder “did you manage to talk to Mel?” Robyn has been a little quiet since she spoke to her “yeah” Robyn sighed out, pausing what she is doing “my mom is at my home, my mom is disgusted because I ignored her” moving my arms away from her and stepping back “disgusted because it’s me” Robyn turned around “I don’t want to tell you this kind of stuff, forget them. I won’t let them disrespect you” I fucking hate her family so much “I know baby, just let them say it. You want me to not come to your home” Robyn gawked at me “no, you’re coming to my home, you’re coming to your fiancé’ home. Ignore it, don’t worry about me. I am upset but they will know how serious I am” least she is not backing down from them.

With my head laid back watching My Little Pony while Liana screamed around the room, this show is actually kind of good in a weird way “aye, what you doing. Come back, sit next to me” patting the couch “I get this” she picked up my chain and ran back to me “thank you, put it back around my neck now” Liana placed my chain on the couch and then climbed up “did baby not want my chain on?” Liana shook her head “she say it too big” she shuffled over to me, picking the chain from the side of me “no, I do it” Liana whined, passing it back. Liana grunted lifting her arms up, lowering my head as she placed it around me “thank you beautiful” pressing a kiss to her cheek “you’re my beautiful princess, I love you too much” Liana wrapped her arms around my neck, moving my arm to wrap around her little body “you excited to go back to school?” resting my head a top of hers “I want you to be a good girl for mommy too while daddy works” I am going to miss my baby so much.

With my phone pressed against my ear “yeah, I am just leaving now. Why y’all outside Robyn’ so damn early?” walking up the steps behind Robyn “we said morning, just hurry up” my manager said “I am, I won’t be long” looking behind me “you know, I need another favour from you” stepping outside “yeah” she turned around with the bag in hand “come back here, just look over it. You can even send Mel, I just have things here too” locking the door “you have your things everywhere Chris, which needs changing. You need a real home” walking behind Robyn “I do, a home for us. A home that can fit my cars too, they my babies too” Robyn chuckled “sure, you need to get better cars” my mouth hung open “better cars!? You seen my cars Robyn? They are cars that every nigga want” closing the gate behind me “you butt hurt at what I said huh” unlocking the car door “not butt hurt just stating a fact, my cars are great. Hater” pinching her butt, Robyn yelped “go away, come on Liana” opening the trunk of my car, I have so much shit in here, placing my bag in the back.

I am driving as slow as I can “I like your lock screen picture by the way” Robyn said while pressing my home button, looking over at her and looking back on the road “I love my babies, y’all precious. I want lots of selfies from you both” I wish Robyn lived further now, we are practically here “so what you finna say to your family, you telling them you are engaged or nah?” stopping at the red light “I am not sure, it depends on them. If they are so mean I will just say it but if not, I will keep it to myself for a while” reaching over, placing my hand on Robyn’ thigh “will miss this” my hand travelling up slowly, Robyn slapped my hand away “stop it freak, I love you so much” seeing the light turn green, slowly driving off “remember, if you need me just call me anytime of the day. If I don’t pick up then I am just asleep” Robyn squinted her eyes at me “don’t give me that look, I know you. You start thinking things” I know Robyn.

My mouth fell open “what!” these niggas legit got my tour bus out, for what “wow” Robyn said “my neighbours won’t be happy, blocking the drive with the hoes on tour bus” that bus has been through a whole lot, I mean a lot “I don’t know why they have got this out, I am just going to the airport. We are not taking this thing with us” I am so confused, who told them to get this out “I hate this tour bus, you have probably dicked every bitch on this thing” seeing my niggas stood outside “ok, I hate all of this. Can we go back” well this tour bus brings back memories, very stupid ones too “it’s just a tour bus” I shrugged saying, parking on the side outside her home “don’t be annoyed with me, I didn’t even know they was getting this out” Robyn shook her head “I’m not, just that bus is trash. Its fine, I trust you Chris” sometimes I think she doesn’t trust me “just park your car in my drive nicely, I will just get your things with Liana” Robyn opened the car door.

I feel so deflated, I am just going to miss him. I honestly couldn’t care less about the tour bus, I just care about him. Pushing my door to my home open, Liana pushed it even more as she screamed at the top of her lungs “why are you screaming?” I said to her, I rather sneak in and then back out “wait here for me, I am just going to get your daddy’ things” with the bag in hand I made my way up the stairs, I did steal Chris’ clothes, well most of it “Liana” hearing my mom say, I quickened my pace up the steps, I am not about to wait around. Reaching the top of the stairs “oh she is back!” Nicoletta said, I yelped in a scare “Jesus, bitch” here I was running away from my mom, Nicoletta giggled “sorry” I have no time for this “I need to do something, I need to go” I need to get his things, I want to hug him and not face my family at all.

Holding the two bags of Chris’ jewellery, these are heavy. Making my way down the steps, I have an audience of course, I expected this “oh hi mom” I said, acting ever so normal “don’t mom me, not once did you call” making my down the steps, not bothering to look at anyone “I have been busy” I simply said, reaching the bottom “come on Liana, say bye to daddy” I finally looked at my mom, she is so angry with me “Chris is here?” Mel spat, making her way through the gang “let me say bye to his ass” Mel walked by me, turning my head away walking out behind her. Chris just locked the car door “you going now nigga?” Mel spat, Chris slowly walked over to Mel “yeah, just parking my car. Got the niggas waiting for me, dropped Robyn off” Mel pointed at the tour bus down the drive “I didn’t even see them, wow. Good luck big head, if you need me to come and help, call me. You know Rihanna be boring me at times, take care” Mel hugged Chris.

Stood with Chris’ things in hand, Chris cleared his throat walking over to me “I’ll take these from you” I stood staring at him in sadness, he leaned into me taking the bags from me “don’t go” I blurted out, letting the jewellery go “don’t do this” he looked behind me “nice seeing you Monica on this fine day” Chris shouted out “go to hell Chris, I don’t know what game you are playing but I am glad you are away” my mom said, Chris laughed “you’re very rude, don’t upset my woman” I wish they didn’t come out “your woman nigga, what you say” Rorrey soon started “don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare!” I snapped, I wasn’t having any of this. Turning around “watch your fucking mouth Rorrey, you’re in my fucking home remember that” Rorrey stared at me in shock “mommy” Liana ran at me, picking her up “speak up if you got an issue, if not. Then I have someone to say bye too” nobody spoke a word but I know they will once Chris goes, turning on my heels.

Watching Liana being the diva she is, she honestly loves Chris’ friends and I never understand why. I mean they do give her all the attention and maybe she loves that “she is crazy like you” Hood said laughing “just because she is crazy she is a mini me? Wow, she looks like me you fat nigga” I can only imagine if Chris was to take Liana, she would rule them all, she gets that from me though “come on, let’s go now” Chris said to Liana, Lo placed her down on the ground. Liana yelped running away from Chris, he chased after her. Smiling while watching Liana laughing loudly as Chris chased her back up the drive, with my phone in my hand I quickly unlocked it. Tapping on Instagram and recording them both, Chris caught Liana “noooo!!” Liana screamed out, Chris picked her up, placing her over his shoulder “you keep running away from me!!” he turned around with Liana over his shoulder, stopping the recording. I love them together, captioning the video ‘My babies’ pressing send, not really caring anymore.

Chris placed Liana down next to me, crouching down in front of her “you be good now, be a good girl in school too. I will see you soon baby” Chris hugged her close “daddy go?” Liana said “yeah baby, I am going work now. Whenever you miss me just call me, I will be there. You need help with anything, even if you want me to tell you a story or you want me to just watch you play with your dolls, then facetime me” Chris pressed kisses to her cheek squeezing Liana tightly, she let out a giggle “love you baby” he let Liana go “love you” Liana said back, Chris got up from his position “I go there” Liana pointed at the boys “yeah, make sure they know” I said to Chris “Lo, she wants to come!!” Chris shouted at him, Lo nodded his head walking towards her.

“My hardest goodbye, I will be back before you know it. Then we can get married, we can be happy” Chris said “I guess” feeling a little awkward “what you mean you guess? Don’t be upset with me, you know I was going” Chris closed the gap between us “I did” stepping back, I just don’t want to cry so I need to be strong “why you being like that with me?” Chris said, looking down at my phone. I need something to take my mind away from it “I am being like nothing Chris, you have a tour” tapping my camera, angling the camera at me “you just being mad distance with me” turning around to get Chris in the picture, Chris looked at the camera licking his lips as I took the picture “honestly, you’re really taking pictures of yourself now?” he complained staring at me, taking another picture because I always love his side profile. Swiping across, pressing record “it’s a perfect time to take a picture” he is so not happy which is cute “I am trying to say bye to you and you’re busy taking a picture, I don’t have the time. My flight going to be late, you really just staring at your camera” he’s not once noticed I am recording me “aww poor baby, late flight” poking my bottom lip out, Chris shook his head looking at the camera “women!” he walked off, I need to stop being annoying “baby” stopping the recording.

Chris walked off to the tour bus “let’s go then, everyone back on please” skipping over to him, he turned around just in time. I jumped up clinging on to his neck, lifting myself up and wrapping my legs around his waist “so now you want to hug me” holding on to Chris for dear life “I just didn’t want to cry, I was trying to change the thought of you leaving me here, leaving me in this home. I have nobody to run too” Chris walked slowly “I understand, what happened to being strong? Stop being weak, they don’t deserve to see that side of you. Just think about us getting married and being happy” I don’t want to let him go “I want you, I want to do you” I mumbled “so do I, all night and morning. Trust me” feeling Chris rub my back “we shall meet again soon, trust me. It will go quick, don’t let them get to you. Scares me to leave you with them, they are going to rip me to shreds” moving my head back “I won’t let that happen, just come back to me safe” kissing the side of his face “I miss your touch already, just come back to us” I better let him go but I really don’t want too.

Unwrapping my legs from around Chris and letting my arms go from around his neck, stepping back “don’t cry” Chris touched my face and that was it, the tears fell from my eyes “come on, I will be back. I am not dead” stepping back “don’t say that, I watch the news and things happen” Chris took in a deep breath “is it your time of the month? You’re being dramatic” he pulled me back into him, hugging me close “it should be coming soon, I am sorry. I am being annoying now, I will be fine” I am holding everyone up “daddy!” Liana screamed sobbing out “tell her that you’re my daddy Chris” I sobbed out, Chris busted out laughing “Robyn, stop this. You’re funny, god I love you” looking up at Chris, he pecked my lips “I want daddy” Liana cried out.

Big D looked at Chris laughing “you have them both crying” he said laughing, Liana on my hip poking her lower lip out “I know, they are my hardest goodbye” he waved at us, blowing a kiss to us “take care Chris” moving backwards with Liana in my arms, Chris got on the tour bus and that was it. I am now alone and need to be strong like he said, taking in a deep breath “we can do this” placing Liana down “Rihanna!” Lo shouted “his car keys, in case you need it for anything” Lo passed me his car keys, I felt sad again “thanks” I said lowly, holding the keys close to me. Let me start getting back inside, let me face them and get on with it because it’s whatever now. Least I don’t have Chris around, they always aim for Chris to upset him and then I have to be in the middle protecting him. I hurt for him because of the things he hears.

Slowly walking up the drive, staring at the pictures I took. He was so annoyed with me, tapping the picture of him licking up lips, he looks so handsome and I look good. Filtering the picture and captioning the picture ‘Have a good tour baby, love you’ pressing send. I am in the mood to upset the world right now, tapping the picture of him staring at me, captioning it ‘When yo nigga trying to say bye to you and you’re trying to take a bomb selfie. #SorryBaby #SeenYouSoonLover’ I think these are the cutest pictures on earth, pressing send. Liana keeps on pulling the flowers from my yard, I am about to snap on her little ass “Liana, stop it!” I spat, she jumped at me shouting “I not” she said running off to go inside. You know what, fuck it. I am posting the video too, captioning the video ‘All he wanted was a kiss :) #KissedHimBetterAfter’ chuckling to myself, oh the world will be mad.

“Talk about being a leech” Mel said as I closed the door “I really didn’t want him to go, it sucks. I had a beautiful weekend though” Mel wrapped her arms around me “you both are so cute, your brothers watched it all though. I think personally” Mel stepped back from the hug “tell them, you both are back together. But I will leave you to it, I will take Liana upstairs for a while, let them say what they want. We know what Chris has done, I appreciate that yellow nigga” Mel was about to walk off but I yanked her arm back “no, I need someone with me. Just as support, I will just tell Liana to go upstairs with Majesty” Mel cooed “oh and Jay Brown been looking for you bitch, your sample design for the album is ready” I have seen the missed calls.

This shit is so awkward, like I don’t know what to say. Do I say hi mom or do I just walk in with an attitude “Liana, go upstairs please. Take Majesty with you” Liana ran by me, I hope she heard me anyways. Walking into my living area “Dad!” I spat, what is my dad doing here “wow, family reunion” I spat, he got up from the couch “I didn’t even see you” hugging my dad “I came to see you, wanted to see if everything is ok with my daughter” it’s always nice to see him but why now “Liana is growing so quickly, she told me she was too busy” moving back from the hug “she is too damn busy that girl, she is her own boss” seeing where Mel walked off too, she patted the couch next to her and Leandra, good spot. Sitting down between them both “move ya ass” I said as I sat down, Leandra kissed her teeth “too many backshots and this bitch comes back with a new ass” the words from Leandra flowed out of her mouth, she placed her hand over her mouth as Mel busted out laughing “sorry Mrs Fenty, I forgot” Leandra cringed saying, my cheeks started heating up “this bitch” I said in a whisper sitting back.

How has my life changed so dramatically, I was with Chris in the morning so full of life and now I am here with my family ready to be cussed out. I am grown as fuck, I can do what I want but my mom does not care how old I am, she will slap me “how is your health mom?” breaking the tension, I might as well start it off “you ask now, after calling you” I expected this “I was busy, give me a break” my mom looked at me like I swore at her “busy you say, I could be dead. You didn’t care for me, you knew I was not well Robyn. You choose him for me, for us” she pointed at my brothers “first of all, I am not their mother and they need to grow the hell up. Snitching to mom and dad and second of all I knew you was just fine so stop being dramatic” Rajad eyeballed the floor, maybe that was harsh “so tell me, are you with him. You didn’t once mention this to me, your own mother. You announced it to the world first. I should have known, he was around too often. The devil himself, that guy planted that seed in you, I knew he would never leave you alone. His threatening behaviour towards poor Mychal, he threatens any man you’re with me” that cut through me “poor Mychal!? Poor fucking Mychal. You know what, I am not doing this. Poor fucking Mychal!! What about poor fucking me!” I broke, Mel grabbed my arm “it’s ok Robyn, stay. I got you!” I don’t want to hear it “I told you Robyn, what you have with that man is not love anymore. He is a mentally unstable and will decide when he wants to cheat, oh trust me. He is on tour with all those girls, you think he cares for you Robyn hmmm? I think not, now you listen to me. I want you to stop this, let it go! You have enough scars, mentally and physically from him” I am still not over my mom saying poor Mychal, I am just going to stay silent now.

Looking at my dad “you want to speak up next?” he seems a little too quiet “I just want you to be good, I want the best for you” he shrugged “just not Chris?” I said “why would we want Chris? Bad enough he is Liana’ father, bad enough we have to put up with him and now you’re with him? Kissing and crying in his arms like a stupid girl, when you will be crying in my arms when he cheats, Ava right? The very girl he was with for a year, you will never be good enough for him. Stop being blind, you stupid girl” I won’t deny that the things she is saying is hurting me but I am numb, Chris said they will do this “why are you crying?” my mom said, tears fell from my eyes “because it’s sad that I have to be talked too like this, you have your grown daughter crying” wiping my eyes “mommy, I watch that” Liana walked over to me with a DVD in hand, quickly making sure I don’t look like I am crying “you need to do this for her Robyn! Your daughter living in this mess” smiling at Liana “don’t you dare speak on my daughter, you do not say and what she feels. Liana had the time of her life with us both.” I want have her talking about my daughter “ok baby you can watch it later, go back upstairs” Liana stared at me “mommy cry?” shaking my head “mommy not well, ignore me. Just go upstairs ok? I will see you later” Liana turned around to walk off.

Locking my phone, seeing my friend crying “come here” placing my arm around her, she don’t need to be hearing this. She is not set up for this “why are you crying like someone died?” Monica said “just leave it now, I think you have said enough” I am so angry right now, I can’t believe she said poor Mychal “she should be crying about her stupid decisions” I wish she would stop “Robyn, let’s just go somewhere else” Robyn shook her head “I deserve it” shaking my head “no you don’t! You don’t deserve to hear this shit, they don’t know shit!” even now I am annoyed “I just want to be with Chris” she shrugged my arm off of her “your life decisions are never the best, I love my grandchild but she is his” shuffling off the couch, pulling Robyn up “go and find someone else to bully” I am taking Robyn away from this mess.

Robyn will not stop crying now “they don’t know what they are talking about Robz, don’t let their words get you down. You need to be stronger than this, you knew this would happen” she has never really healed, this is too much for her and Chris is not here “what about what I had to go through Mel, still I have to wake up and think that” rubbing her back “I push it back, I push it away from my mind. I am happy but my happy place is with Chris” she said “why don’t you tell them then” Robyn shook her head “to bring up old wounds, I don’t need it. I don’t need to see my mom’ hurt face, I rather her be angry with me. Did I make the wrong decision Mel? Did I” Robyn looked at me “with what?” I questioned “Chris, who else” wiping her nose with the back of her hand “I don’t think you did, I know Chris is many of things but with what has happened he has stepped up. Don’t doubt him, remember he was there when you thought you could be pregnant with that bastard’s baby. Don’t let them poison your mind, they don’t know what you have been through” I have been through this whole journey with them both, if I knew Chris was bad I would have told her, he is not because I believe in him.

Hearing the doorbell go off from upstairs and then banging on the door, I jumped up from the bed and ran out of Robyn’ room. I don’t know if it was wise of me to text Chris in a situation like this but I did, I didn’t think he would say he is coming back. Running down the stairs as quickly as I could “I got it!” I half shouted, jumping down the last steps. Nicoletta stared at me all confused, the banging on the door can be heard again. I am regretting my decision already, opening the door. Chris staring at my face “that was quick” I said, he does not look happy “where is she?” opening the door wider “she is upstairs” Chris barged in, his bodyguard Big D also came in with him “come on in” I said as they both just came in, Chris went straight upstairs “Oh Chris” Robyn said from the top of the stairs, my heart fell, I feel for my sister.

I do but then I don’t regret this decision, I kind of think it was better if he came back because I don’t want Robyn to be in this bubble where she won’t speak. Watching as Monica came out from the living room “he came back” Rorrey said “looks like it” I added, Big D stood at the bottom of the steps “so how come you came” I asked Big D “he asked me too, he said if I do anything stupid to just stop him. He looks like he needs it, he was cussing the whole bus out so we turned around. Jet got cancelled” that was my fault I guess “oopps” is the only thing I said, Big D moved out of the way as Chris came back down the stairs holding Robyn’ hand “so y’all wanted to talk?” Chris said without a care “I got time, so come on. Y’all want to speak on things” Chris didn’t really care and walked by the family and to the living area. Big D walked behind them, I think it is a great idea him being here. Walking behind him, he is so fine too.

Big D stood in the middle of the room, Robyn sat with Chris. Her arm wrapped around his arm and the side of her face pressed against his arm, she needed him “which one of y’all want to start?” Chris pointed “you’re not worth the air” Monica said “good, I am glad you got that out of your system. Golf clap for you, what about you?” he looked at Rorrey “looks like you want to punch me, I want to do the same but sadly I can’t. Bodyguard is here to keep me from not beating your ass up” Monica soon piped up “who are you to be giving out orders?” Monica eyeballed Chris “your future son in law, mother in law. You know what, I am annoyed. I am so fucking angry at y’all” he pointed “you don’t know what Robyn has fucking been through to be where she is at, you fucking ruined every part of that” they are so confused right now “no wonder Mychal ran off, you abused him” Chris gawked at Monica “the only thing that nigga is good at doing is forcing women to have sex! You know what, fuck y’all” he looked at Robyn “you want to come back to mine?” Chris got up from the couch and so did Robyn “and you didn’t abuse my daughter too” Monica said, my eyes widened hearing that. Chris looked at Monica not saying a word “bringing the past back up, very big of you Monica” Robyn moved away from Chris “don’t you dare bring up bad things about him, he will be my husband and if you’re not there then so be it. You don’t know nothing about me! You know Rihanna not Robyn, he was there for me” pushing myself off the wall, she is breaking down.

Holding Robyn’ wrists “don’t do this” I spoke “no, how dare they say poor Mychal Mel” she sobbed out “what about me? What I went through, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Chris” this is hurting my heart “what about me mom? What about poor me, you don’t know nothing because I protect you but this man you hate so much saved me, after what Mychal” she couldn’t even finish off the sentence “Robyn, calm down. Breathe” she is holding back, hugging Robyn close “You will all be eating your own words with the poor Mychal shit” Chris said “he raped me!” Robyn moved back from me and screamed out “he raped me and you said poor Mychal! He raped me mom” seeing a tear fall from Chris’ eyes “let’s go, D make sure they stay away” Chris said “come baby” he moved her Robyn along, Monica stared in shock with not a word to say.

Big D pushed Rorrey to the ground, Chris is not even allowing anyone to come near “Melissa… is it true” Robyn’ dad said in shock, moving away “Liana…. Baby, come with me” they done forgot her “stay back, I am sorry. I can’t have any of you leave” picking Liana “where mommy?” Liana asked, Big D blocked the door “come on now” I stared at him “It’s Liana and me” he nodded his head moving to the side “we are just going to go and see daddy” seeing the tour bus with the boys stood outside “get the fuck off, all of you!” Chris shouted, I wish he wouldn’t with the neighbours around “daddy” Liana pointed ahead, this took a turn but I am glad Chris came back.