#*romanoff

[jpmarvel90]

Dont Belong Part 3

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Word Count: 7175

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: Y/n's infection is hitting her hard and she's still struggling with her feelings on her parents. Thankfully, Yelena is there to help cheer her up and she brings along a surprise that might just make everything feel better!

Nat: Mama Wanda: Mom

Y/n POV:

These last two days in the hospital have blurred together, a monotonous cycle of dull light and beeping machines. The weight of my infection drags on me, leaving me shivering one moment and sweating the next. I've spent far too much time staring at the ceiling, feeling trapped in this sterile room, yearning for the freedom of my life before the mission went sideways. The boredom is suffocating, and I feel like I'm losing pieces of myself with every passing hour.

I feel a constant gaze from my parents who rarely leave my side. It's strange to go from having them ignore you to being around all the time. Part of me feels like things were like they used to be when I was a full part of their family. The other part of me is screaming saying they don't mean it and will soon be gone again.

But today feels different, a whisper of hope fluttering in the air. I've been waiting for this moment, and when a familiar knock sounds at the door, my heart races with anticipation. "Can I come in?" Yelena's voice calls softly, and I can't suppress the grin that spreads across my face at the sound of her.

"Of course!" I call back, the eagerness spilling over in my tone. I sit up a little straighter, my heart pounding as I manage to prop myself up, using the button on the side of the bed to elevate myself.

The door swings open, and Yelena steps in, her expression a mix of relief and worry. Her golden hair catches the light, and I can see the telltale signs of sleepless nights etched under her eyes. "Y/n!" she breathes, rushing to my side, her voice trembling slightly as she takes my hand.

"Yelena! I'm so glad to see you." The words come out a little breathless, and I can't help the surge of emotion that washes over me. Just seeing her makes the room feel a little less confining, a little brighter.

"I can't believe you're awake," she says, her grip tightening around my fingers. "I was so scared. We all were. You had everyone worried sick." Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears, and for a moment, it feels like the weight of my situation lifts just a bit. I don't think I've ever seen Yelena emotional like this before and it helps me realise how bad this whole situation is. She would never allow anyone to see her this vulnerable except for Mama.

"Hey, I'm okay. Well, sort of." I gesture weakly to the IV drip, the hospital bed, and the machines that surround me. "Just a little out of commission at the moment."

Yelena's smile is tentative but bright, yet it's overshadowed by the concern etched on her face. "I just hate seeing you hurt like this. You're my niece and I thought I would always be here to protect you." She shares honestly.

I give her hand a squeeze and share a warm smile when she finally looks up to me. "I can't be protected forever. Besides, I need you now. This recovery is going to be shit and I need you to help me when it gets too much." I reassure her and she nods. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to help you through it all. Stark has even set me up on the same floor as you. So, I'll be there whenever you need me." She explains, making my heart warm with the thought of seeing her for a while to come.

"What about the widows?" I ask, knowing how much that means to her. "I've already been able to help so many. Now I need to help you. The others can wait. Besides, Kate can do the research on where we need to go next." She replies. "Who's Kate?" I ask, surprised to hear that she is working with someone else.

"Just a stray that Clint found. She's annoying, but oddly fun to be around. I think you'd like her. I'm sure she'll be around at some point to say hi." She explains with a shrug.

As the initial shock of seeing me seems to fade, I can see the corners of Yelena's mouth twitching upward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. It's as if she's flipping a switch, her demeanour transforming from worried auntie to the playful, teasing friend I know and love.

"You know," she starts, leaning back slightly and crossing her arms, "for someone who just woke up from a dramatic hospital nap, you look surprisingly like a zombie. I mean, I thought they had strict rules against bringing the undead into the hospital."

I let out a soft laugh, despite the ache in my chest. "Yeah, well, the food here isn't exactly helping my cause. I'm pretty sure I could survive off of those tasteless mushy meals for a week and still look better than this."

Yelena raises an eyebrow, clearly entertained. "Mushy meals? I'd expect you to be on some gourmet diet, considering all the special treatments they give you. I'm starting to think you should at least get some ice cream as a post-surgery reward." She chuckles. "Now that's the kind of thinking I can get behind. Have a word with Tony yeah?" I reply, feeling my spirits lift. "Ice cream sounds amazing. But what are the odds of that happening here?"

"Zero. But I'm prepared for this. I'll break you out of this place and take you for ice cream. You just need to give me the signal, and I'll burst in through the window like a stealthy ninja." She mimics a dramatic leap and landing in mama's pose. "See, I'll even do my best poser impersonation!" She playfully teases and she now starts to pretend to scale the invisible walls of my hospital room, her expression shifting to one of exaggerated seriousness. "You can count on me, Y/n. Ice cream shall be yours!"

I chuckle, the image of Yelena performing an acrobatic escape making the heaviness of the past days lift a little more. "What flavour are we talking here? I hope it's not vanilla. I have standards, you know."

"Vanilla? Please! I was thinking more along the lines of double chocolate fudge with extra sprinkles. And maybe a side of cherry sauce because why not go big, right?" She shares her thoughts whilst taking the seat next to me again. Her hand resting over mine. "Now you're speaking my language," I respond, shaking my head in mock seriousness. "If I'm risking a hospital breakout, it better be worth it." I laugh.

Yelena sits back in her seat, her chest still rising and falling as she laughs at her own hilariousness. She then looks back up at me. "But seriously, let's plan this for when you're feeling better. I'm not above a hospital escape." Her grin is contagious, and I can feel the tension in my shoulders easing. "Deal. Just don't forget the sprinkles."

As our laughter fills the room, I realize how much I've missed this lightness, this camaraderie. It's comforting to think about having Yelena by my side as I navigate the uncertainty of recovery and family dynamics.

But beneath the playful banter, there's an unspoken understanding between us, a bond that allows me to express my fears without words. With Yelena around, I feel like I can face whatever comes next, armed with humour and the knowledge that I'm not alone in this fight.

"Just promise me one thing," I say, my voice turning more serious again. "Anything," she replies, her gaze earnest. "Don't let me give up on the ice cream party, okay? No matter what happens."

"Never! I'll be your ice cream guardian," she declares, puffing out her chest with mock pride. "We will have that party, and it will be legendary. I will personally ensure that you have the sprinkles of life!"

With that promise hanging in the air, I know I can count on her not just for ice cream but for so much more as I navigate this complicated recovery. Even amidst the challenges, I feel a renewed sense of strength.

Though the playful atmosphere soon disappears as Yelena looks at me with a hurt look. "You know," Yelena begins cautiously, glancing around the room as if making sure no one else can hear, "I've been really worried about you. Seeing you like this. It's been hard. I didn't expect to walk in and see my Y/n looking so weak."

"Yeah, well, welcome to the aftermath of a bullet wound," I respond, a hint of sarcasm lacing my tone, but her expression remains sombre. "I mean it, Y/n," she says, her voice low. "I can handle all sorts of dangerous missions, but this... this was different. You're my niece. I've seen too many people get hurt, and it scares me to think about what could have happened if things went even more wrong."

"I know. I didn't want to worry you, but... it's not like I planned to get shot," I reply, my voice softening. "I was trying to do my best, and it went sideways."

"It's not your fault," Yelena reassures me, squeezing my hand gently. "But promise me you'll be careful. Don't rush back into missions. I can't go through this again. I thought I lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere yet. You've got me for a while longer," I say with a playful lilt, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Her smile falters, but she doesn't let go of my hand. "You have to promise me you won't get hurt again. I mean it. You don't have to be the hero all the time, you know." The gravity of her words sinks in, and I can feel a lump forming in my throat. "I thought I was doing well. I thought it was my chance to prove myself," I admit, my voice quieter now. "Prove yourself? You don't need to do that. You're already a part of this family," she insists, her voice firm but gentle.

But I can't shake the feeling of inadequacy, the bitter sting of doubt that lingers in the corners of my mind. "I don't feel like it," I confess, looking down at our hands intertwined. "Not after everything that's happened. My parents... I don't know. It's complicated." I begin tentatively, not sure how to express the turmoil inside me.

"They've hurt me for so long, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around why they suddenly seem to care. It feels like. I don't know, like they're trying to make up for lost time. They've been... around. Too around, if you know what I mean. They've been acting all concerned, but it feels more like an obligation."

I've felt torn about this since I've woke up. They're around all the time and trying to do everything that can to help me. But all I can think about is how much they have hurt me and if they would ever be able to make up for their past actions.

Yelena nods, her expression serious. "It's okay to be conflicted. They've done wrong by you, and you have every right to be angry. But if they're genuinely trying to change, maybe there's a chance for you to heal too." She suggests, similar to how Steve has these last two days.

"I don't want to forgive them just because they're here now. It feels disingenuous," I admit, frustration seeping into my voice. "I've been raised to believe that actions speak louder than words, and I need to see real change." I state irritated. "Then hold them to that standard," she urges, her voice steady. "Don't let them slide by just because they're your parents. You deserve more than that." She iterates.

"I guess I'm just afraid of being disappointed again," I whisper, feeling a shiver of vulnerability wash over me. It hurt so much when I slowly seemed to disappear from their lives. I don't think I could experience that again. "What if they go back to ignoring me once I'm healed? What's the point of this?" I share, tears stinging my eyes.

Yelena leans closer, her brow furrowing as she studies my face. "That's not fair to you. They hurt you, and it's okay to be angry about that. But you deserve to feel loved and cared for. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for." "Stronger?" I scoff lightly, but inside I feel a flicker of hope. "I barely survived my first mission and ended up in a hospital bed. That doesn't feel strong."

"Strength isn't just about fighting, Y/n. It's about surviving, too. You survived, and you're still here. You're still fighting." Her voice softens, and I can see her eyes glistening with tears. I nod slowly, her words resonating with me. "You're right. I just don't want to get hurt like that again. I thought joining SHIELD would mean I'd finally be seen, but now... it feels like a mess."

Yelena shakes her head, frustration evident in her expression. "No. You're not a mess. You're human. They need to step up and show you that you matter, but that doesn't mean you have to accept their love without question. You get to set the boundaries. You get to decide what you want from them moving forward. But I do believe that you have to give them a chance to show you that they've changed." She shares, taking me by surprise.

"It was years Yelena. How can I move to just forgive them for everything that's happened? Just because they're here for my recovery, doesn't mean it makes up for everything that they've done." I raise my voice getting frustrated that no one seems to understand the depth of how much this has affected me.

She thinks for a moment before speaking up. "I know I can't understand the pain they caused you. When I heard about what they did to you, I was ready to kick both of their asses. But I've seen this determination in them. Especially Nat. I just don't want you to let the anger eat you alive. You deserve more than that. You deserve to heal, not just physically, but emotionally, too." Her words resonate deep within me. I can feel the weight of my resentment pressing against my chest, threatening to suffocate me. "It's just hard, Yelena. I don't know if I can trust them again. What if they just go back to how things were?"

"That's the risk, but it's also a chance for something better. Maybe this could be the start of a new chapter for you all," she replies, her voice filled with hope. "I mean, how many people get a second chance to rewrite their story? You can make it count." She tries to reason with me. "Or I could just end up disappointed again," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey, no one said life was easy," she counters, leaning forward, her tone shifting to a playful challenge. "You've faced worse. You survived a bullet wound, for Christ's sake! How about you take that strength and channel it into something more positive? Like confronting your parents." She suggests. "Confront them?" I echo, feeling a knot of anxiety tighten in my stomach.

"Yeah! You're a badass. You fought off those Hydra agents; you can fight for your own happiness." she encourages. "Don't let anyone else dictate your worth. Not your parents, not Hydra. No one."

"I'll think about it," I concede, knowing that deep down, she's right. Maybe facing my parents isn't just about them; it's about taking control of my own narrative, my own healing. "Good," Yelena replies, her smile brightening the room once more. "And remember, no matter what you decide, I'll be right here, cheering you on. We're in this together, ice cream and all."

As I gaze into her determined eyes, I feel the flicker of hope igniting within me. Yelena is right. I can't let the past dictate my future. Perhaps I can find a way to reclaim my voice, my choices. And with her by my side, I feel like I can face whatever comes next.

__________

The soft hum of the machines is a constant companion, a backdrop to the quiet conversation happening in the room. Mama and mom sit nearby, each offering their own version of silent support. Mama, with her usual calm demeanour, sits crossed legged in the chair near the foot of my bed. Her posture is relaxed, but her sharp eyes betray her constant vigilance. She notices everything, always has, and I can feel her observing me like she's looking for something beneath the surface. Mom on the other hand, has stationed herself at my side, like aways. She's less fussy, thankfully, but still has to be close, like I'm going to disappear if she's not.

Sometimes, I find the silence unbearable compared to their constant and sometimes suffocating fussing over me. I feel on edge, like they're waiting for me to talk to them. I think back to what Yelena said about confronting them and doing it on my terms. But I want to do it in the right frame of mind, and at the moment, this infection is still kicking my ass.

Mama breaks the silence as her well trained eyes watch me for a while. "How are you feeling Y/n?" She asks, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studies me, as though she's trying to catch me out if I say the wrong thing. "A bit better." I respond with a slight nod, my words carefully measured. I don't want to give too much away. Not about how I'm feeling and especially not about the swirl of doubt that's been growing inside of me since the incident.

"Are you sure? You're sweating." She points out, sitting up. Mom goes to reach for my forehead, but quickly retreats her hand. She's been trying really hard not to be too much and I'm grateful for that. I should have known that she could see straight through me and notice the discomfort I'm in. "Just a little." I admit. "Is there anything we can do? Would you like some water? Or we could change the quilt for a blanket if that would help?" Mom suggests.

I think for a moment before giving in, knowing that I am burning up a little too quickly. "The blanket would be better if that's ok." I respond, earning a warm smile from mom as she stands and moves to grab the blanket as mama takes the quilt and folds it up. "Better?" Mom asks as the thin blanket now rests over my legs. "Yes. Thank you." I quietly respond.

"You're being strong, but you don't have to be." Mom says, her voice soft but persuasive. Her green eyes watching me too closely. "We're here for you." She states. Something I've heard more these last few days than I have in my whole like.

I offer a tight smile. "I appreciate that." I reply, but there's something hollow in my words, something they both notice. I see it in the flicker of mama's eyes, in the slight frown mom tries to hide. They want me to let them in, to trust them. But I can't. No right now.

The knock on the door interrupts the thick atmosphere. As we all look to the door, a smile grows on my face as Yelena pushes open the door, bursting in to the room with her usual energy. Her blonde hair bounces around her shoulders as she strides in, a smirk on her lips. She's a welcome distraction from the unspoken suspicions swirling in my mind.

Behind her, there's someone new. A brunette with wide eyes and a slightly awkward smile follows in her wake, holding a small bouquet of flowers in her hands. It's clear she doesn't quite know what to do with them as she shifts nervously, standing next to Yelena like she's trying to figure out how to fit in. "This is Kate." Yelena says with a grin, motioning to the brunette with a flourish. "Oh, right. The annoying stray Clint picked up." I reply with a grin, my eyes flicking between Yelena and the new girl. I feel a small flutter of nerves in my chest, but I push it aside, trying to appear casual.

Kate gasps dramatically, placing her hand over her chest as if wounded. "Annoying stray? Really? Is that how Yelena described me?" She shoots Yelena a mocking glare, then turns to me with a playful twinkle in her eyes. "Don't listen to her. I'm delightful, I promise." She smirks.

There is something instantly disarming about her. Her smile is infectious, and I find myself grinning back before I can stop myself. "I'll be the judge of that." I say, raising an eyebrow in challenge. Kate's laugh is light. "Well, I guess I better make a good impression then huh. I'm Kate. Nice to finally meet you."

As if she suddenly becomes aware of the other two people in the room, Kate suddenly becomes a lot more nervous as she steps forward, holding out the flowers a little awkwardly. "I, uh, thought some flowers might brighten up the place." She says her voice light but tinged with nervousness. "If you don't like them, I can... I don't know, take them back or something."

I can't help but smile at the sudden awkwardness, feeling some of the tension ease from my shoulders. There's something captivating about her, a clumsy sincerity that feels genuine. Like she's not trying to be anything other than who she is. If's refreshing, in contrast to the more guarded and calculated vibes in the room.

"No, no. They're nice. I love them." I say, accepting the flowers with a smile. "Thank you." I say gratefully. Mom steps in to help, taking the flowers from Kate and placing them on the beside table. She flashes Kate a smile, but I can't help but notice the way her eyes flick between me and Kate, like she's sizing up the interaction. Her protective nature is sweet, but right now it feels like an intrusion, like she's watching too closely.

Yelena of course, can't let the moment go without making it awkward. "Oh great. The two of you are already making goo-goo eyes at each other." She says with a snort, dropping herself into a chair next to mama with a dramatic sigh. "I should have seen this coming." She says to her sister. "Goo-goo eyes?" I sputter, my cheeks burning. "Yelena, we literally just met." Kate for her part, looks just as flustered, running a hand through her hair as she laughs awkwardly. "Yeah wow, not even five minutes in and I'm already being roasted. Thanks Yelena." Yelena has a mischievous grin as she gives Kate a thumbs up. "Hey, I call it like I see it." She shrugs.

I glance at Kate again, and despite the teasing, there's something about her that puts me at ease. Something feels unguarded in a way that I haven't felt around my parents lately. She seems real, no hidden motives, no unreadable layers. Just Kate, awkward and charming in her own way.

Mama raises an eyebrow at Yelena's comment but stays quiet, observing as always. Mom though let's out a soft chuckle, her eyes softening for a moment as she looks between Kate and me. "I think it's sweet." She says, but there's an undercurrent to her words. A subtle probing as if she's gauging how close I'm willing to let this new person get.

I shift uncomfortably in my bed, trying to shake off the unease. "Kate seems nice." I say, trying to keep things light. "But you don't need to start planning a wedding already." I joke, earning a loud laugh from Kate.

Yelena leans back in her chair, a satisfied smirk on her face. "Well, you're already doing better than most people who meet Y/n. She doesn't usually warm up to strangers this fast."

"Yelena." I mutter, shooting her a look, but the playful banter is enough to make me feel a bit more like myself again. Even if the tension with my parents still lingers beneath the surface.

Mama exchanges a glance with mom, and I can feel the weight of their unspoken thoughts. They're both protective, maybe even a little suspicious of the new dynamic. I know they're trying to look out for me, but their watchful eyes feel too heavy right now and to be honest, they don't have the right to have any thoughts on this right now. They've barely been my parents for the last couple of years. They don't suddenly have a say in who I'm friends with.

"Well, at least you brought someone who isn't here to lecture me about being shot." I tease, giving Yelena a pointed look. Kate grins clearly relieved the conversation has shifted. "I'm just here for the heist planning." She smiles, her tone light. "Whatever Yelena has you roped into, I'm in." I join in the joke. Yelena perks up at that. "Oh, you have no idea what you've signed up for Bishop. This one here," she jerks her thumb at me, "has a history with getting into trouble."

Kate moves to take the seat next to me as both my parents decide to give us some space and grab some lunch. I'm grateful for them being able to read the room, but I notice the observant and narrow gaze of mama as she passes by Kate. I'm pretty sure I see Kate gulp a little which makes me laugh lightly.

"So," Kate asks, crossing her arms. "what's the plan for today? Ice cream, hospital jailbreak or maybe both?" She smiles, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter. "Oh, Yelena's already promised me ice cream, but she keeps postponing the jailbreak." I tease, glancing over at Yelena who's pretending not to listen.

Kate lets out a dramatic sigh, shaking her head. "Typical. She makes all these grand promises, and then when it comes time to actually execute..." Kate starts teasingly before Yelena speaks up. "I'm literally right here." She complains, throwing her hands up in mock exasperation. "And for the record. I would have busted you out, but your mother threatened to remove all the mac and cheese from the building if I did." She admits with a child like huff.

"Still scared of mama huh?" I smirk, earning a harsh stare from my aunt. "No!" She defends loudly. "Well, maybe when it comes down to you." She admits quietly, making Kate and I laugh. "Well, well. I've finally discovered the one thing Yelena Belova is scared of." Kate torments Yelena. "Yeah, well don't forget that you're the one scared of me." Yelena points out giving her fiercest glare. Something that makes Kate shrink back into her seat. "Yep. You're right. Sorry." She apologises goofily, making me smile even wider.

There's a beat of silence, but it's not awkward. It's easy, comfortable, and I'm surprised at how quickly I've warmed up to Kate. She's sharp, funny and there's a confidence about her that makes me feel more at ease. I can tell she's someone who doesn't take life too seriously, but there's a genuine warmth underneath the sarcasm.

Yelena is watching us again, her arms crossed, and her eyebrow arched like she's trying to figure out how this is going to play out. "You know, I might actually enjoy watching this." She says, her voice laced with amusement. "You two are way too cute. It's like watching a rom-com in real time." She smirks

"Okay, enough of that." I say quickly, feeling my face begin to flush, this time not due to my infection! I glance to Kate who is grinning like she's in on some joke that I'm not, and I can't help but laugh. "Yelena, don't you have some Widow business to attend to?" I question hopefully. "Nope." She says cheerfully, popping the 'p' for emphasis. "I'm on babysitting duty today." She smiles proudly whilst I just roll my eyes. Maybe I do want my parents back right now!

Kate leans closer to me, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "Does she always talk like that, or is it just for us?" She questions. "Always." I whisper back, earning a glare from Yelena. "Alright, alright." Yelena says, pretending to be offended, but her eyes twinkle with amusement. "I can see when I'm not wanted. I'll give you two some space. Try not to flirt too much while I'm gone." She teases.

"And you," she stops in front of Kate, a stern look on her face. "If she so much as flinches you call the nurse. I will have your head if anything happens to her." She warns her lowly. Kate just nods, gulping at the threat. "P-promise." She stutters. "Good. Text me if you need anything. Now have fun being all awkward and flirty." She smirks as she saunters out of the room.

Suddenly, it's just the two of us, the room quieter but still filled with that easy, playful energy. I glance over at Kate, feeling a bit of awkwardness settle in. But it's the good kind that makes my heart race a little.

"So, what now?" I ask, trying to sound casual? Kate shrugs, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I don't know. I mean, we could plot that jailbreak. Or maybe..." She pauses, her eyes meeting mine. "We could just hang out and get to know each other a little better." She suggests.

There's a warmth in her gaze, something that makes my heart flutter, and for the first time in a while, I feel a sense of excitement. Not just for the ice cream or the jokes, but the possibility of something new. Something good. And maybe, just maybe, I'm ready for it.

Nat's POV:

My sharp eyes have always picked up on the subtle shift in a person's demeanour, the tiniest details that others overlook. Right now, I'm studying Kate Bishop. She's awkward sure. A little too wide-eyed and jittery, holding onto those flowers like she's afraid they might combust. There's a clumsy sincerity to her that I can't decide if I trust yet. Y/n though... Y/n is smiling. Laughing even, and I haven't seen that kind of lightness in her face in far too long. Still, I remain cautious.

I watch as Y/n teases Kate, the easy flow of their banter rolling off Y/n's tongue without the weight that usually accompanies her words. It's almost as if she's forgotten, if only for a few minutes, about the turmoil she's been going through. And while I want that for her, there's a part of me that can't let go of my protective instincts. That part that wants to dig deeper into who Kate Bishop really is, figure out if she's worthy of my daughter's trust.

Because Y/n doesn't let people in easily. Wanda and I have made that even harder for her now. To be able to trust is a difficult thing. I don't want to see her hurt more than she currently is. Not after everything that I've caused.

Wanda's voice pulls me out of my thoughts as she steps up beside me, her arms crossed but her expression soft, watching the interaction with a gentler gaze than I have. "She looks happy." Wanda murmurs. Her voice has that quiet thoughtful tone that always means she's been observing the situation for longer than I realised.

I nod, though I don't take my eyes off of Y/n. "She does." I admit reluctantly. Wanda notices this and quickly makes up an excuse of going to get some lunch and we quickly exit the room. Probably much to Y/n's delight!

"You don't like it?" Wanda asks, her lips twitching into a small smile. She can read me too easily, knows exactly what I'm feeling even when I try to keep it to myself. We hover in the corridor outside of Y/n's room as I sigh. "I didn't say that." I glance towards my wife, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but I know you." She chuckles softly, and it's a warm, comforting sound that cuts through the tension I've been holding in my chest. "Nat, you don't trust her yet." It's not a question, and I don't answer right away. Instead, I look back through the window into Y/n's room. My eyes falling to the pair of them. Y/n has leaned a little closer to Kate, her laughter soft, her smile genuine. Kate's making some grand gesture with her hands, her enthusiasm endearing in its awkwardness. Okay, I think. Maybe she's not so bad.

But still. "I just don't know her." I say finally, my voice low. Wanda hums in understanding, her gaze never leaving Y/n. "But look at her, Nat. She's the happiest we've seen her in a long while." She points out. I know she's right. Y/n hasn't had this kind of lightness in her eyes since the incident. Even in the days leading up to it, she was closed off, burdened by the trauma we had caused her. I couldn't do anything to help her, I couldn't fix what I had broken. And now here comes this Kate Bishop, breezing in like a ray of sunshine, making Y/n smile like it's the easiest thing in the world.

I sigh, crossing my arms tighter over my chest. "Maybe." I admit after a pause, my voice quieter now, more reflective. "Maybe Kate is what Y/n needs right now." Wanda turns her head to look at me fully, a surprised look on her face, but she soon gives me a soft knowing smile. "That's not easy for you to say."

"No, it's not." I say honestly. "But I can't ignore how she's acting. It's good to see her like this." I glance to Yelena who's still grinning like a proud instigator of all this chaos. Y/n has her laughing too, which is aways a good sign. "And Kate, she's not what I expected." I share.

There's an awkward clumsiness about the girl sure. But underneath that, there's a kindness in her eyes, something genuine that makes me reconsider my initial assessment. She's not just some reckless kid, despite the reputation. She cares and that means something.

Wanda places a gentle hand on my arm, squeezing lightly. "It's ok to let your guard down a little." I chuckle under my breath at her words. "I don't think I'm wired that way, Wanda." I reply. "I know." She laughs softly. "But maybe you can try. Kate isn't here to hurt Y/n. She's just, being a friend. Maybe that's exactly what Y/n needs right now." I nod, though my instincts still bristle at the idea of lowering my walls completely. "You're right. But I'm not going to stop being protective. Not after we failed her so badly." My gaze hardens just a fraction. "I can't."

Wanda's expression softens further, understanding in her eyes. "No one's asking you to stop protecting her Nat. Just, give this a chance. What ever it might be." She pleads. I look at Y/n again. She's relaxed in a way I haven't seen her in months. The tightness in her shoulders is gone, replaced by something lighter, freer. And I realise that I'm not the only one trying to protect her. Maybe, in her own way, Kate is too.

"I'll give it a chance." I mutter quietly. "But I'll be watching." Wanda smiles knowingly. "I wouldn't expect anything less." She says as both our gazes fall to our daughter. Just then, Kate says something that makes Y/n burst out laughing, the sound so full of life that it catches me off guard. My heart clenches that it's taken this long. That Wanda and I created an environment where she felt like she no longer belonged in this family.

I know it's going to take time for her to even consider forgiving us. But I know that it's important that she has other people around her that she can talk to and have fun with. If it's just Wanda and me she'll become completely closed off. Maybe being around Kate is exactly what she needs. It doesn't mean I'll let my guard down completely. Not yet. I will always protect her. That's what mother's do. Even if I haven't proven my right to that title in a long time.

_________

As Wanda and I step back into our home, the familiar chaos of our boys welcomes us like a warm embrace. The scent of something sweet wafts through the air, mixing with the sharp, clean smell of wood polish from our recent cleaning efforts. I can hear the muffled sounds of laughter and playful shouting emanating from the living room, and it brings a smile to my face despite the heaviness still clinging to my heart.

Tommy and Billy have been asking about their sister non-stop over the last few days, and every time, I see the worry deepen in their little faces. They've felt the weight of Y/n's absences as much as we have, maybe more.

"Hey, you two!" I call out, my voice breaking through the din. Almost immediately, Tommy and Billy come barrelling into the hallway, their faces lighting up like it's Christmas morning. They launch themselves at us, wrapping their arms around my waist and Wanda's legs in a tangle of limbs and giggles. It's a comforting noise, one that momentarily pulls me away from the weight of the world outside these walls.

"Mom! Mom! How's Y/n? Is she okay?" Tommy's voice rises with excitement, his wide eyes sparkling with a mixture of hope and anxiety. I exchange a glance with Wanda, who stands beside me, her own expression tinged with a protective softness. It's a moment like this that reminds me just how much the boys adore their sister.

"She's still unwell, sweetheart," I say gently, kneeling down to meet Tommy's gaze at eye level. "But she's doing better than she was. She'll be home soon." I try to sound optimistic, but the knot in my stomach betrays me. I know how much they want to see Y/n, and how hard it's been for them to understand why she isn't here with us.

"Soon? Like tomorrow?" Billy asks, bouncing on his toes, his dark hair flopping into his eyes. There's a slight hopefulness in his voice, and it makes my heart ache, knowing they're so eager for good news. Wanda steps in beside me, placing a hand on Tommy's shoulder, her touch gentle and reassuring. "She's going to need a few more days in the hospital, honey. She's got to rest and get better first." I watch the way Wanda's eyes soften when she speaks to the boys, how she has an innate ability to make even the hardest truths sound a little lighter.

"But her birthday is coming up!" Tommy exclaims suddenly, his expression shifting from concern to realization. "We have to make it special for her! Can we plan a perfect birthday for her in her hospital room?" His enthusiasm is infectious, and a flicker of warmth spreads in my chest at his determination. Billy nods vigorously, his face lighting up with ideas. "Yeah! We can decorate it and bring her cake! She'll love that!" The energy in the room shifts, and I can see both boys imagining the decorations they might hang, the cake they might bake, and the joy they hope to bring their sister.

"That's a great idea," I agree, feeling a swell of pride as I watch them brainstorm. "But we need to wait until she's feeling a bit better, okay? We don't want to overwhelm her." Tommy frowns slightly, his brow furrowing in thought. "When can we see her?" His voice is earnest, full of longing. I can hear the worry tucked beneath his words, and it tugs at my heart. "Yeah, we want to see Y/n!" Billy adds, his expression mirroring his brother's eagerness.

Wanda glances at me, and I can feel the weight of our responsibilities bearing down. "We'll take you to see her in the morning," I promise, seeing their faces light up with hope. "But remember, she might be tired and need to rest, so we have to be gentle with her."

"Yay!" Tommy cheers, his voice ringing through the hallway, and Billy joins in, practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. Their joy is palpable, a reminder of the happiness that can still exist even amidst uncertainty and pain.

Just then, Steve steps out from the kitchen, having been quietly observing the boys from a distance. His presence brings a calmness to the chaos, and I find comfort in knowing he's here. "Hey, how are you two doing?" he asks, his eyes twinkling as he takes in the scene of our little family reunion.

"Mama and mom just told us that Y/n is coming home soon!" Tommy exclaims, practically vibrating with excitement, his hands flailing as he gestures animatedly.

"Yeah, and we're planning the best birthday for her ever!" Billy adds, his voice bubbling over with enthusiasm, his cheeks flushed with energy.

"Sounds like you're all set for a celebration," Steve says with a smile, nodding approvingly. He leans against the wall, crossing his arms as he watches the boys with fondness. "I'll leave you to it. Just let me know if you need anything." He shoots us a knowing look, one that acknowledges the weight of what we're dealing with, before stepping back into the kitchen.

As Wanda and I stand there, our boys filled with excitable plans, I can't help but feel a mix of gratitude and dread. Gratitude for the moments of joy, the laughter that fills our home, and the love that binds us together. Sadness that our family isn't complete and dread for the challenges still ahead. We're still on shaky ground, still trying to piece together the remnants of our family after everything that's happened.

But for now, I push those worries aside. I take a deep breath, inhaling the comforting scent of our home, and look around at the smiling faces of my children. "Okay, let's start planning for this birthday celebration!" I suggest, my heart lifting at the idea of planning something special for Y/n.

"We need balloons. And streamers!" Tommy states excitedly, his eyes bright with ideas. "And cake!" Billy insists, his mouth already watering at the thought. "What kind should we get her?"

As we brainstorm, I can't help but smile. We'll take this one step at a time. Tomorrow, we'll bring the boys to see Y/n, and hopefully, we'll be one step closer to bringing her home where she belongs. Hopefully, she'll see that we plan to be the best parents to her and in time she'll forgive us. I feel a flicker of hope, ignited by the boys' excitement and determination to make their sister smile, to show her that she is loved and missed.

"Let's get started," I say, my voice full of warmth as I gather them into a huddle, my heart swelling with pride. Together, we can do this. Together, we can find a way to help Y/n heal, and maybe even begin to mend the cracks that have formed in our family.

Taglist: @reggierizzoli @ordelixx @mousetheorist @oh-thats-cute @bstvst @waiqui @fxckmiup @kosmichs1 @theprincipality

[lesyoussoupoff]

"I forgot to say that at Torby (home of Countess Sophie Torby) I saw the last photograph of Ksenia Alexandrovna's daughter. How beautiful she is..." Letter from Prince Felix Youssoupoff to his mother, Zenaida in October 1910.

[theneverendingshow]

Saloma aka Maxa Z via Femjoy

[chloe-skywalker]

Party Worries - Natasha Romanoff & Wanda Maximoff

Nat x fem!reader (mentor/friend)

Wanda x fem!reader (mentor/friend)

Warnings: emotions

Word count: 615

Requested: Can You do a Natasha Romanoff and or Wanda Maximoff x adhd ! Y/n kid reader - @Anon

Authors Note: thank you for requesting

Masterlist

Avengers Masterlist

******************************************************************

“Tony’s having a party tonight. You coming?” Wanda asked Natasha as she looked through her closet to see if she had anything to wear that night.

“I am.” the red headed assassin nodded.

“What about y/n/n?” Wnada asked, looking back to Nat who sat on her bed.

“I don’t know.” Nat sighed

“New meds not helping?” Wanda knew that Nat had taken Y/n to the doctor to adjust her meds for her ADHD. But the doctor didn’t just adjust her meds he changed them all together.

“No, there helping. She says she feels better but at the same time her body and mind are adjusting.” She explained. The last week hadn’t been easy on the young girl that Wanda and Nat had taken under their wing.

“Is she nervous?” Wanda wondered, hopping they could help the young Y/h/c-ed girl.

“She doesn’t want to make a scene.” Nat sighed telling the redheaded witch what y/n  had inwardly told her that morning of why she didn’t want to go to the party.

Wanda scoffed at that reason. “She wouldn’t.”

Natasha nodded in agreement. “We know that but she feels differently.”

Wanda picked a dress and hung it on the closet door before she turned around to face the Black Widow. “We gotta change her mind.”

“Agreed”

And with that the two came up with a plan. Before heading to Y/n’s room in the tower. After they had taken her under their wing she spent so much time with them at the tower, Tony gave her her own room. They had practically adopted Y/n and everyone was okay with it. Her family didn’t have much and her parents were always gon and pretended she didn’t exist. So Y/n was very much grateful and enjoyed benign apart of their family of hero’s.

“Do I have to?” Y/n whined softly not wanting to go to Tony’s party.

“Yes!” Natasha and Wanda stated at the same time.

“But-”

“You’ll be fine.” Wanda smiled encouragingly.

“And if you want to leave at anytime you can.” Nat added as they tried to change Y/n’s mind.

“But you have to give it a chance.” Wanda cut in quickly. They wanted her to at least experience the party before she decided to leave if she wanted to.

Nat could see Y/n start to fidget and knew exactly what she was thinking. So Nat sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Your stronger than you think.”

“Okay.” Y/n nodded relucatnly

So with her agreement to go to the party Wanda and Nat got to getting her ready. They did her makeup and found one of their dresses to fit her and look fantastic.

Finally when the party rolled around Y/n had to admit it wasn’t as bad as she thought it was gonna be. She could feel herself lose focus at points but it wasn’t lasting long, the party seemed to keep her focused.

“You having fun?” Wanda asked as the young girl was approached by Wanda and Nat.

“You can’t lie to us.” Nat Joker as the two older woman each stood on a side of Y/n. “We saw you smiling.”

“Okay I am having some fun.” Y/n admitted cracking a pretty big smile across her lips. The party was a lot of fun and she seemed to be worried for nothing. But she’d never live it down if she told them that.

“We can go anytime you want.” Wanda told her and Natasha nodded in agreement. The 3 stayed for a while longer before leaving and having a girls night in Wanda’s room.

Taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @starkleila

[mlys05]

[lesromanoff]

Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich and Grand Duchess Xenia Alexandrovna dressed for the 1903 Imperial Ball.

[taatianaad]

[thenatashamaximoff]

Broken Love; Ch. 8

Summary: You and Natasha break up after finding out about her secret affair. Wanda’s there to comfort you.

Pairing: Natasha x Reader; Wanda x Reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of death

Words: 8,951

✎ | ❦

Please keep in mind that this is a reimagined version of Dangerous Love and it goes a completely different route. Please do not expect anything to be the same aside from the love triangle aspect. I hope you enjoy!

┌─────────────❦─────────────┐ @madamevirgo @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo​ @stephanieromanoff @helloalycia @generouslyfadingtimemachine @aimezvousbrahms @upsidedowndanvers @tomy5girls @shelby-victoria7 @chasethemoon @therealmeari @women-am-i-right @kas0925 @catching-up-with-kayla @1-800-maximoff @obsessed-with-wandamaximoff @wandascumslut @coxmicbabygirl @waltzingin1698 @lesbianmothership @im-in-demilesbians-with-you @wtrpxrks @theperfectlovestory @grxvitye @marvels-bitch-boy @misspurple1419 @evenbeingcrazy1998 @jsonebraincell  └─────────────❦─────────────┘ ┌─────────────∞─────────────┐ @myfavoriteficss @pinkytoecrust @cyncity32 @romanoffomixam @peachbear88 @magicallymaximoff @peggycarter-steverogers @sushi0989 @ba-romanoff @natashabelovas @morbid-gaymer @reminiscingtonight @when-wolves-howl @idontknownemore @natashasilverfox @natashamaximoff69 @wuwu96 @scarletwitchofthewilds @sayah13  └─────────────∞─────────────┘

“You’re not going to win,” you claimed, breathing out heavily. He stared down at you from his spot at the top of the hill, rocks crumbling around you as the ground shook. The lava pooling around you nipped at your heels, but you held no concern for the molten liquid as your hands clenched into fists by your sides. “This world… It’s going to crash and burn. And it’s too late for you to save it, Iron Man.”

He lifted his arm up, his gauntlet as bright as the eyes of his helmet. “I didn’t want to do this,” he declared, shaking his head softly, “but you left me no choice.” The high-pitched squeal of his repulsors reached your ears, and your eyes widened as he jumped off of the hill…

You were pulled back into reality, your arms stretched wide to bring the little boy into your arms as his giggles echoed through the room. You huffed as you looked at him through his little toy helmet, cradling him against your hip as you used your free hand to move the mask off of his face. 

“You caught me, mommy!” he laughed, wrapping his arms around your neck to steady himself. “I knew you would.” He flashed you a toothy grin, and you couldn’t help but chuckle softly as you shook your head. 

“Of course, sweetie,” you stated. “I’ll always catch you.” You plopped him onto the ground, taking the toy off of his head gently as you sent him a warm smile. “But let’s not jump off the top of the stairs again, okay? It’s dangerous.”

“But I’m Iron Man!” he expressed. “I live for danger!”

“Oh, yeah?” He nodded with a proud smile, large swoops of his chin up and down with smug confidence. You pulled the elastic band around your head, positioning the mask over your face as you looked down at him through the slim eye holes. “I’m Iron Man now.”

“No!” he squealed, laughing as he started to run away from you. Your movements were instinct, chasing after him into the other room, zipping around the corner only to come to a halt when you saw a pair of legs through the mask. You cleared your throat, ripping the toy off of your head as you met her green gaze, an amused smile tugging the corner of her lips with her arms crossed over her chest. The little boy hid behind her legs, looking at you with a grin of victory.

“I hope the two of you are having fun,” she said, raising an eyebrow with mock curiosity, “because we’re late.” She looked down at the boy, running a hand through his short hair as she said, “Go get cleaned up, T.”

“Yes, mama.” He stepped away from her, sending you that smug grin once more as he left the room. You laughed softly as you placed the toy down, running a hand down your face and around your neck to grip the back of it, looking down as you chewed the inside of your cheek.

“Hey…” She stepped towards you, bringing your face into the palms of her hands gently. Your head lifted at her touch, meeting her warm gaze as she smiled lightly at you. A thin layer of tears covered your eyes, biting your cheek harder to fight against the urge to cry. 

“I don’t think I can do it,” you said, your voice a low whisper.

“I know it’s hard. Just because so much time has passed doesn't make it any easier, but I’m here for you, okay? And I’m not going anywhere.”

You nodded against her hands, breathing in softly as you said, “Promise?”

“I promise.” Her smile was warm and kind, it caused your stomach to twist as you stepped closer to her.

“I love you, Nat.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You leaned forward, your lips just mere centimeters away from hers to the point where you could feel them brush against each other, but the moment was quickly interrupted when a small human squeezed himself in between the two of you, cutting you off from her as he expressed his readiness to leave. Natasha laughed when you rolled your eyes, ruffling the boy’s hair as you said, “Alright.” You reached for Natasha’s hand, meeting her loving gaze once more as she accepted it. “Let’s get this over with.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━❦━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You peeked through the curtain, eyes wide as you looked at the number of people in attendance. Reporters mainly filled the first two or three rows, while everybody else was simply there for the service. Monitors hanging around the room held the Avengers logo. What was once a symbol of hope was now only a memory of loss.

You felt your stomach twist uncomfortably, nausea working its way through your body as you swallowed your mouthful of saliva harshly. But when you saw your little boy at the front of the crowd, talking Dr. Woods’s ear off, you felt a bit better. Even so, you had to force yourself away from the view, turning your back as the curtain swished close behind you. You ran your hands down your thighs in an attempt to rid the sweat building on your palms, but it didn’t seem to work no matter how many times you wiped them.

“Are you okay?” Steve stepped up to you, his arms crossed tautly over his chest as he raised an eyebrow at you. His face was filled with concern. Was it that obvious you weren’t?

“I am fine,” you lied, nodding as you shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just, y’know… the one-year anniversary of the day we lost everything.”

He pursed his lips together, moving his arms to grip his hips as he said, “To lose everything you had grants you everything you need.” You couldn’t help but scoff, yet you did manage to fight the urge to roll your eyes at his fortune cookie quote. He was only trying to help ease your nerves, and - though it wasn’t doing anything to make you feel better - you were grateful for his attempt.

A woman stepped up to you before you could make a comment. “You’re all up.” She gestured towards the curtain, sending you both a soft, pitiful smile as you turned back around to face the music. “Good luck.”

You sucked in a deep breath, shaking your hands as the curtain parted in front of you. Natasha was already on the stage, sitting in one of the three seats lined up behind the podium. Her eyes were that same loving warmth she displayed earlier, and it helped ease your stomach as you made your way to her. She reached for your hand, giving you a comforting squeeze when you met her as the flashes of the cameras started going off the moment you stepped into view. “We’re just going to say some things and then we can go,” she whispered into your ear. She, too, was trying to ease your nerves, but the judging gaze of everybody in the crowd seemed to lock onto you.

Your stomach started doing nauseating flips once more.

You sat down next to Natasha, refusing to release her hand as Steve took a spot at the podium. He cleared his throat, tapping his finger gently against the microphone as he laughed nervously. All eyes were on him now, giving you a moment of reprieve as you leaned against the Russian, listening carefully as the patriot began his speech.

“One year.” You chewed the inside of your cheek, averting your gaze to your occupied hands. “On this very day one year ago, we were unfortunate to witness the fall of the Avengers. Today will be known as Avengers Day.” Pictures of the people you had always felt privileged to call family illuminated the monitors as Steve continued, “Clint Barton. Tony Stark. Bruce Banner. Pepper Potts. Wanda Maximoff. These are just a few names of the many lives lost that day.” Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at the screen displaying Wanda’s photograph. Her big smile, her shining eyes. Your best friend, how close the two of you had gotten throughout the years.

You were so transfixed by the image that you hadn’t realized Steve’s speech was finished until Natasha released your hand. You looked at her, distress glinting in your irises, but it was ultimately subsided by the small smile she was sending you. She was gesturing for you to step up to the podium as it was your turn to give a speech, and you were hesitant to do such a thing. Though you had practiced your speech a million times in the mirror after hearing about the event, all of it managed to disappear in your mind as you cleared your throat into the microphone.

“Hello,” you expressed softly, squeezing the edge of the wooden podium. Yet the next time you opened your mouth, not a single word could be heard. You could see everybody’s eyes piercing through you as if you were just… nothing. But you looked over, meeting the bright, hopeful gaze of your little boy, watching his face stretch out into a smile as he held up a thumb. You returned his grin before looking back to the crowd, feeling a bit more confident than you did five seconds ago. “Today’s just a grave reminder of all the people we’ve lost. And we’re here to honor the lives of-” 

“May I interrupt?” Your eyes landed on the source of the voice - a young woman had stood up, holding a pen and paper as she flashed you a cocky smirk. “Hello, Mrs. Romanoff.” Your gaze averted down to your left hand, staring at the ring as the reporter continued, “Karen Delroy from the Times. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” You picked your head up at her question, eyebrows furrowed with confusion. You weren’t informed that you were going to be interviewed, that you were just coming in to make a speech on behalf of the fallen and then you were more than welcome to leave. But, considering you couldn’t really recollect your entire speech to begin with, you figured this was your way out of making yourself look like a fool in trying to remember.

“I don’t see why not,” you expressed softly, nodding as you gestured for her to carry on with a hand.

“What do you remember?” She held her pen poised over the notepad, prepared to write down whatever words came out of your mouth.

“Oh, well… I-I remember all of it,” you claimed. “I remember the…” But you trailed off, eyebrows pinching together with confusion once more as you looked down. Your eyes squeezed shut, nerves causing your body to shiver. You had to think. Remember. You had to remember.

“Y/N?” Natasha’s voice was low behind you, a soft whisper so the rest of the room wouldn’t hear, but you chose to ignore her calls.

Remember.

“Maybe we should put an end to this,” Steve suggested just as quietly.

Just remember.

“Just think, detka, it’s okay.”

I don’t remember.

“Why don’t I remember?” you asked faintly, eyes wide as you looked back at the woman. Dread struck you when you saw the brown in her eyes glow an ominous purple as she seemingly stared right through you. But, within the next blink, her eyes went back to normal yet the fear that floated in your veins remained. Everything in your brain told you to move, to walk away, but nothing in your body was listening. You were frozen to your spot at the podium, a ball forming in your throat threatening to take away your ability to breathe. Your grip on the podium tightened, causing your knuckles to turn bone white. You can’t remember…

“How did you defeat the Matriarch?” Your eyes snapped onto another person - it seemed to be the only part of your body that was capable of moving - to witness an older man standing up with a microphone aimed towards you. “Lyle Davies, Channel 6. Wanda Maximoff had converted to the Church of Truth as their Matriarch when the Avengers Tower collapsed. You had a pretty close relationship with her according to my sources. Even got to the point of intimacy.” He grinned smugly, proud to have known that much information. “So, how did you manage to take her down?”

You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening.

“You seem to be having difficulty recollecting the downfall of the Avengers, Mrs. Romanoff.” Another reporter stood up, not even bothering with the introductions at this point. 

You shook your head, soft, subtle movements that could only be seen if one was paying close attention and, surely, everybody in the room was.

“Do you even remember how they died?” It was another reporter, another question, yet the voice was familiar. You could pinpoint that Sokovian accent at a concert if you were so inclined to. Your eyes scanned the crowd, searching for her face. Searching for any sign that she was here, in the same room as you, living and breathing and not lying six feet under the surface. But you couldn’t find her. And it only seemed to overwhelm you, the combination of flashing lights from snapping cameras and reporters who seemed to have no more room for manners as they started overlapping each other to ask their own questions. You couldn’t even make out what they were asking, and her voice was no longer ringing in your ears.

“Come on.” Natasha’s breath fanned across the side of your cheek as she whispered into your ear, feeling her hands fall onto your shoulders as she started to guide you away from the interrogation. Steve didn’t hesitate to take your place, his hands in the air in an attempt to calm the crowd as you disappeared behind the curtain.

“I can’t remember, Nat,” you expressed, panic only causing that knot in your gut to tighten. You stopped walking to turn around, eyes wide with fright. Was this a dream? You could only hope it is, interlocking your fingers behind your neck as you tried to control your breathing. “Why can’t I remember!”

“Y/N-”

“What happened to Wanda?” Your eyes snapped onto hers within an instant. 

“She was the Matriarch, Y/N,” Natasha explained calmly. She stepped closer to you, bringing your face gently into her hands as you moved to grip her wrists softly. “The Church got to her. And her powers combined with theirs… It made her a worthy candidate to become the Matriarch.” She sighed, a breath full of sorrow as her thumbs made gentle circles across your cheekbones.

You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening one last time, causing you to break out of Natasha’s comforting hold to get to the nearest trashcan to dispose of whatever was in your gut. Sickness drove through you like a river, goosebumps crawling up your body as you sank to your knees. Sobs wracked your chest, fingers clenched at your head. 

It didn’t feel like much time has passed before you were staring at the ceiling in the comfort of your own home. Whatever happened between the event to now was all a blur. But the queasiness that lingered in you remained to the point where Natasha made you keep a bucket next to you.

The door creaked open slowly after what felt like an eternity of being stuck in your thoughts. You didn’t find the energy to pick your head up to look at whoever was entering the room, the footsteps were quiet as they made their way to you. “Mommy?” It was an instinct, ignoring the fatigue plaguing your body to give your child the attention he demanded.

“Yes, T?” 

“Mama said you needed some alone time because you’re not feeling good,” he claimed, standing at the edge of your bed as his fingers twiddled together nervously. “But when I get sick… You’re always there to hold me and that makes me feel better.” You couldn’t stop the smile from twitching your lips, lifting an arm up to signal that he was more than welcome to join you on the bed. And he didn’t hesitate to do so, climbing onto the mattress and crawling over to you so he could cuddle into your side. Though as much as you enjoyed the silence and cuddling, his voice was always music to your ears. “You named me after Iron Man, right?”

“And Hawkeye,” you confirmed. “Anthony Barton Romanoff.” You smiled, staring up at the ceiling as his eyes trained on you. “Some of the most amazing people me and mama have ever known.” You tilted your head down to meet his gaze. 

He ran a finger up and down the sleeve of your shirt, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment before he asked, “How did they die?”

“They were in the Avengers Tower when it fell, sweetheart,” you answered, your voice a soft whisper as if you were fearful to speak any louder than that. 

“Why did the tower fall?”

“That-” Your voice caught in your throat as memories flashed through your mind, how terrified the woman looked as you held up a small device, the vision shrouded in a faint, purple glow. Your eyebrows pinched together, head tilting to the side as you blinked yourself back to the present. “That was the Church’s doing.”

“You survived the fall,” he claimed, beaming brightly. “You and mama.” You nodded, smiling sadly as you looked back at him. “I’m glad you did. I don’t want a different family.” You breathed out slowly, your stomach lurching in your chest when that ominous, purple glow returned to color your boy’s eyes. 

Panic took over your body, causing you to quickly climb out of the bed and stagger away from him as confusion painted his features. “I… I don’t…”

“Mommy?” He sat up on his knees, his bottom lip quivering as you shook your head. He watched you carefully, no trace of purple remained in his eyes. But you weren’t willing to take the risk, keeping your distance from him as you pressed your back against the wall.

Laughter emitted from your throat in a humorless tone, realization dawning on you as your eyes snapped onto Anthony’s. You didn’t win. No. No, the Church was still alive. They were laying low, poisoning the world one person at a time. You should’ve caught onto it earlier, seeing the reporter’s eyes glow the color that’ll forever haunt your dreams. How quick the moment was, how smooth and undercover. Nobody would be the wiser as they all carried on with their day. But your mind didn’t make the connection at the time. Now… They have control of him. Your boy. “Let him go,” you pleaded softly, your head moving side to side very subtly.

“Mommy, you’re scaring me.”

You moved forward, pointing a finger at him. “Why are you here?” Your voice came out low, dangerous through clenched teeth. Your pupils narrowed with an anger Anthony has never seen on you before, your steps quiet and steady like a predator stalking its prey. 

“It’s me!” he cried, his face red with tears as you gripped his shoulders. “It’s me, mommy! It’s your T!”

“Leave him alone!”

“You’re hurting me!” Sobs erupted from his throat, and it was in that instance that a force pushed you away. 

Natasha stood in front of him protectively, her green eyes narrowed onto you as you staggered backward, still reeling from the strength of her push. “What are you doing?” Her voice, just like yours, was low and dangerous. Only hers was a lot more threatening than you could ever dream of being. “That is our child.” She was eerily calm, yet you weren’t oblivious to the hidden tone in her words.

“No,” you claimed, shaking your head. “They’re still out there. They- They got to him. They’re taking our child away from us! That” - you pointed at the kid who looked like your boy, but you knew better - “is not Anthony.”

The Russian crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw tight, her stance set. “What is going on with you, Y/N?”

“Please, Nat.” Your voice was still low, but it was pleading now. You needed her to see the truth before they won this silent war. “The Church is alive.”

“The Church has been gone for a year,” she said. “We got rid of them. They’re not possessing anybody. And they’re certainly not taking our boy. He is still T.” She was calmer now than she was five seconds ago after seeing the genuine fear in your eyes. Her shoulders relaxed, and her protective stance crumbled as she took a small step toward you. “Don’t you remember how happy we were the day we brought him home?”

You blinked at her question, eyebrows furrowed tightly together as you straightened your form. “I…” You tried to convince yourself to recall the day you had adopted the little boy, even if it was made up, yet the memory of what should be a joyous, memorable day was lost on you. Any good parent could tell you the story of their child coming into their life - adopted or not - but you were finding difficulty in doing just that. Your heart started playing drums on your ribcage as you stared at Natasha. “I don’t remember,” you whispered, shaking your head. “Why can’t I remember?” 

The memories of important events were nothing but black holes in your mind. Avengers Day, Anthony’s adoption, your… wedding. Natasha in a wedding gown surely would’ve made a permanent home in your brain, yet you got nothing.

It was during your mental battle in trying to remember that Natasha turned to whisper something to Anthony before he ran out of the room as fast as his little legs could carry him. But you couldn’t care about whatever it was she sent him to do as you made eye contact with her once again, pupils wide with panic. “I can’t remember, Nat,” you whispered, your nose burning as tears threatened your vision. Her face softened as she took one more step to you, bringing your hands into hers as she breathed out softly. “I can’t remember. I can’t remember. Why-”

“You’re just tired, detka,” she said gently, a warm smile tugging her lips as she moved one of her hands to rest against your cheek. You leaned into her touch, your eyes fluttering close allowed you to feel just how truly exhausted you were. “This day was very stressful, I know. It brought back so many memories that we all just wished to forget.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, shaking your head against her palm as a tear slipped through your eyelid to crawl down your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“Come on.” She used the hold on one of your hands to tug you back to the bed. “I’ll take T out for dinner and you can apologize to him when we get back.” She smiled at you as your eyes fluttered open, nodding your head as you sat down. “But, in the meantime, you get some rest.” She planted a soft, warm kiss against your forehead, giving your hand a squeeze before slowly walking out of the room, flicking the light off as she closed the door behind her.

But, instead of doing as she said and closing your eyes to get some much-needed sleep, you waited. You held your breath, straining your ears to listen to the front door open and close. Followed by the sound of the car starting and driving off. You were on your feet in an instant, leaving the bedroom and stepping into the living room. You eyed the framed photos lined up on the fireplace, but none of them triggered any memories for you. No, they all just felt as if they were planted here. As if they were… fake. Just photos of you, Natasha, and Anthony at a studio with different backgrounds and different clothes.

They could’ve been taken on the same day.

You found yourself making your way to a closet sitting next to the kitchen, only used mostly for storing cleaning supplies such as brooms and vacuums, but lingering at the top of the small cubicle was a photo album sitting on top of the shelf. After moving the necessary things to achieve your goal, you had the book in your hands within a few minutes. But flipping through the pages only caused the panic that had settled at the pit of your stomach to grow once more. No photos of your wedding. No photos of your friends. Not even any photos of your days as an Avenger. Just the same type of pictures that sat on your fireplace mantel. Different backgrounds. Different clothes. Yet the same smile in every single one.

“Hello?” You had a broom in your hand within mere seconds, aiming the point of it at whoever entered your home unannounced. You huffed when you met Dr. Woods’s eye, his hands in the air as the pole of the cleaning supply dug into his throat. “A little on edge, are we?” He laughed, though it was a nervous sound as you returned everything to the closet, including the photo album.

“Why are you here, Woods?” you questioned, turning away from him to make your way into the kitchen.

“Tony called me,” he answered. “He was pretty hysterical on the phone, I barely understood him.” He let out a long, hefty breath as you grabbed a cup from the cabinet. “Do you want to-”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you claimed, running the faucet to fill up your glass. “I was tired. That’s all there is to know.”

“You think the Church is back.” It wasn’t a question, you knew that. And your grip on the edge of the counter only tightened as you turned the faucet off a bit too harshly. “What’d you do yesterday?” You turned around to look at him, leaning against the counter and ultimately ignoring your glass of water left in the sink. “I’m not here as your shrink, Y/N. Just consider it two friends catching up.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, your eyes staring at him as you thought about yesterday. It was a simple question, one that should hold an even simpler answer… So why were you having so much trouble giving him one? Even going as far as making something up would please the doctor. You chewed the inside of your cheek, your shoulders falling as you were forced to face the issue at hand.

“Okay,” you stated, stepping towards him. “I don’t remember.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he questioned.

“This morning,” you answered. “I played with Tony-”

“Before that,” he interrupted.

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders carelessly as you worked your brain. “Uh…” You blew air out between your lips, sounding a bit like a motorboat before finally confessing the truth. “I remember watching the news,” you said.

“That’s good,” he expressed, nodding in approval.

“Wanda revealed herself to be the Matriarch.”

“O-kay… Not good.” He watched you carefully, resting his hands on his hips as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Nothing is making sense, Woods,” you claimed. “Why are there no actual pictures? W-Why can’t I remember key dates like my own wedding? It’s like I was just… planted here. Like I’m… I’m living someone else’s life.”

“What do you remember before that?” he asked, and he shrugged when you met his gaze. “I’m curious.”

“Waking up in your house after the collapse.”

“Before that.”

You huffed, turning away from him and furrowing your eyebrows as you rubbed the back of your neck. Your eyes fluttered close, sucking in a deep breath and giving yourself a moment to actually think. There was the explosion, traces of purple floating through your memories as you watched Natasha’s eyes change, succumbing to the Promise once again. “Natasha stabbed me.”

“During your fight with the Church,” he claimed, nodding as you turned back to look at him. “She told me about that. Honestly, I thought you were a goner, but, damn.” He laughed lightly, causing you to raise a curious brow at him, silently questioning what he found so humorous. “You’re like a boomerang, Y/N. You keep coming back…”

“You’re like my boomerang, Y/N.” You turned your head to look at her, meeting her gaze with curiosity. Her dazzling green eyes shined brighter than any light that has ever existed, causing your stomach to twist with warmth and fuzziness. “You keep coming back to me.”

You laughed softly, leaning forward slightly as you asked, “What do you mean?”

“I tried to move on. Many times.” Her smile held a hint of sadness, and you fought the urge to reach out to her. “Maybe I’m just bad at letting you go. Maybe because, every time you leave, I lose a little piece of me.”

There was a heavy fist coming from the front door, pulling you out of her mesmerizing gaze to look up at the ceiling. You said nothing, but you felt an uncomfortable pressure against your chest as his voice seemed to echo through the house, reaching the bedroom, begging the woman laying next to you for a second chance. Yet you both ignored it as she rolled over, draping her arm gently across your shoulders as you instinctively wrapped your hand around hers.

“Y/N?” You blinked yourself out of the past, furrowing your eyebrows to see Woods snapping his fingers in front of your face. He took a respectful step back as he cleared his throat, though his gaze held interest as his eyes lingered on you. “Where’d you go?”

“I…” You huffed, replaying that moment in your head over and over again. The moment felt real, genuine. You could remember the feeling of the heat radiating from her body as if it had just happened yesterday. The kisses, the touches, the way she whispered your name in your ear breathlessly. Wanda… You’re not dead, are you? “I don’t know…”

Why was the memory so much different than the others? Why did it feel more authentic?

“I don’t need a shrink,” you claimed, pulling yourself out of your mind before you spiraled even further in front of the doctor. “I just need something to eat and some sleep.” You turned away from him, pulling open the refrigerator as you stared at the contents inside. Yet, you didn’t move to grab anything. 

“I can’t help you if you won’t let me,” Woods claimed, but you didn’t look at him as you continued to stand in front of the opened fridge, chewing the inside of your cheek. You could hear him sigh, defeated. “You know my number if you decide to want my help.”

You listened to his footsteps depart, and then released your hold on the refrigerator, allowing the door to swing shut.

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Laughter could be heard throughout the house, drawing you out of your dreamless slumber. You released a soft sigh, allowing your eyes to flutter close once more. Though you knew there was no more sleep you were going to get today, you were going to allow yourself to lay in this comfort for a bit longer.

Yet the more you stayed there, the more your mind wandered. Trying to decipher the memories your brain was conjuring up, stuck in this endless loop of uncertainty. And you were half-expecting to see Wanda when you rolled over, huffing as you run your hands down your face. You could hear her voice, a distant whisper in the back of your mind. Her warm laugh echoing in your head. Her death - though so long ago - felt as if it were fresh.

Just like everything else.

It took you a moment, but you finally managed to force yourself out of bed to follow the heartwarming giggling to the kitchen. There you could find your family sitting at the kitchen table, a couple of mugs and a plate of cookies sitting in front of them. Natasha met your gaze the second you appeared at the doorway, her smile slightly fading away as she watched you with wariness. You didn’t blame her. You held a sense of caution with yourself. Especially around Anthony. 

“Hey.” Your voice was soft as you entered the room, yet it earned Anthony’s attention either way. He shot you a wide smile from his seat, his legs kicking underneath the table as he showed you the same love he always does... As if your whole episode last night didn’t happen at all.

“Hi, mommy,” he said. “Mama’s letting me have Oreos for breakfast.” He chuckled happily as he reached for another cookie, and you smiled lightly as he popped the entire thing into his mouth. 

“I don’t think we raised him right, Y/N,” Natasha claimed, earning a muffled giggle from Anthony. “He’s just eating the entire Oreo at once…”

“Did you just eat an entire Oreo at once like a heathen?” Her light laughter echoed in your head.

“I’ve been eating Oreos for a long time, Y/N, I would think I know how they should be eaten.” She was happy. Despite everything, you were happy. How did it ever come to an end?

“Show me how you eat it, mama,” the little boy challenged, his voice pulling you out of your head. He picked up a cookie and wiggled it at her. Natasha wasn’t really the type to turn down a challenge, whether it be against a child or not, so she didn’t hesitate to snatch it out of his tiny fingers, quickly dunking it into his milk and laughing in victory while biting half the cookie off into her mouth. Anthony’s mouth formed an O as he looked down into his cup.

“Look at all the little crumbs floating around.” Your chest tightened uneasily.

“He’s your child,” she declared with a playful grin, earning another giggle from the child as he grabbed more Oreos. “How’re you feeling, detka?”

You pursed your lips together tightly, nodding at her question as you quickly averted your gaze to Anthony, who had now resorted to taking the cookie apart so he could get to the cream in the middle. “Hey, buddy,” you expressed, making your way to the table to sit in the empty chair next to him. “How about we do something fun today? We can go to the movies. Maybe get ice cream later.”

“He’s got school,” Natasha pointed out.

“After, then,” you suggested.

“Uncle Steve is taking me to the park,” Anthony expressed, and you sighed softly as you leaned back into the chair, crossing your arms over your chest and chewing the inside of your cheek. You watched the little boy bite into the cookie, flashing you a wide, proud grin. But you could only laugh when you noticed the bits of chocolate stuck in his teeth.

“C’mon, T,” Natasha started, “it’s time to get ready.” She pulled the plate of Oreos towards her, preventing him from snatching another cookie as he hopped off the chair.

He started walking away as you rested your elbow against the table, placing your chin in your palm, but he stopped abruptly to turn around. “Can we go tomorrow?” You turned your head to look at him, smiling softly at his offer. 

“Of course, sweetheart,” you promised. “Now go on. You don’t want to be late.” You straightened your form when he ran off, leaving you alone with Natasha. You could feel her eyes boring a hole in the side of your face, drawing circles with your nails on the surface of the table. You wondered how long she was willing to sit here in silence before she broke it, but you also knew the Russian was more than ready to go as long as she needed until you were the one to break first. “I’ll clean-”

“I got it.” She stood up before you could beat her to it, a sigh passing your lips as she collected the dishes on the table and walked away. “Is there a reason why you ignored my question?”

“I am feeling great,” you said, getting up and slowly making your way to her. “Refreshed. Energized.” You looped an arm around her waist, spinning her around and pulling her flush against your body. You swayed back and forth to invisible music, sending her a mischievous smirk as you added, “Since Tony’s going to be gone, we’ll have the entire house to ourselves.”

She laughed lightly, her breath fanning across your face as your lips brushed across hers. “As fun as that would be, you know I have to go to work.” You stopped swaying, blinking as you stared at her. Your eyebrows pinched together slightly, your head tilting to the side, and you allowed her to step away from you so she could finish cleaning the dishes.

“Work?” Honestly, you didn’t even think about that. You can’t really even imagine Natasha having a job that isn’t being an Avenger, or something of that extent. It was reasonable for her words to catch you off guard… if you were hearing it for the first time. And it felt like you were.

She hummed in agreement, nodding as she turned the faucet on. “The house doesn’t pay for itself, Y/N,” she pointed out, chuckling under her breath. “And we got the bills, and we need to get food, and-”

“Alright, alright. I get it,” you claimed, and she laughed once more as she turned the sink off, turning to look at you once more. “I have errands to run today anyway.”

“Are you not going to work?” You blinked at her, her question echoing in your mind as if it was the worst thing she has ever said to you in your entire life. You have a job?

And a job you did have. It wasn’t the best job considering the last job you had was saving the world from threats nobody else dared to face, but it was something that - apparently - paid the bills. No, this job just had you saving parents from having to work with a babysitter. A daycare was the last place you expected to be, but it wasn’t the worst.

All the children knew you, shouting your name with excitement when they entered the building, running up to wrap their arms around your legs in a hug as their mom or dad snuck out of the room unseen. You were loved here as if you weren’t a complete stranger to all these kids. But that’s what you felt like. These kids knew you, but you didn’t know them.

“Miss Y/N?” You turned your head to look at the little girl, crouching down to her level so you could make eye contact with her. She smiled widely, her fingers pinching the hem of her shirt as she said, “I built something and I wanna show you. Follow me!” She ran off, and a soft laugh slipped through your nose as you ultimately followed her command.

She guided you across the foam floor, standing in front of a pillow fort that towered against the corner. 

“Do you like it?” She beamed brightly, turning away from you before you could answer her question to pull open the blanket door. “You can come in! But you have to tell me the password.” She stepped forward, holding her free hand around her mouth to whisper the password in your direction before she disappeared into the fort.

You cleared your throat before asking, “May I enter?”

“What’s the password?”

“I’m pretty sure you won’t be sitting underneath an impressive pillow fort if nothing happened.” You chewed the inside of your cheek, eyebrows furrowed tightly.

“You think my fort’s impressive?”

You walked away, and the little girl’s voice calling your name from behind was just a distant echo as the reminiscent feeling of all the pillows collapsing onto you overtook your body, the sound of her fading laughter filling your mind. Your vision was clouded with memories of Wanda’s smile, of her nose scrunch, of her sparkling eyes. But they were ultimately replaced with her frown, the sorrow in her eyes, a purple tint to the memories as she glanced at you sadly from the other side of the room. You could feel your chest tighten once again, suffocating your heart as you stumbled to your car.

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It was hard reading her name engraved into a stone used to mark a grave. It made all those questionable thoughts about her death disappear as it became more real, crouching down to wipe away the loose dirt that built up at the bottom of the tombstone. You couldn’t stop the tear from crawling down your cheek, but you managed to run your arm across your face to prevent it from getting much further.

“I’m not sure when the last time I visited you was,” you confessed, pursing your lips into a thin line as your hands lingered on the headstone, “but I bet you’re still watching me from wherever you are. You’re always keeping an eye on me.” You sucked in a shaky breath, running a hand across the engravement. “And I bet you’re just absolutely floored to see where I am right now.” You laughed, though the sound was humorless as you looked down at the grass. “I married Nat. And we have a kid now.” A soft smile tugged the corners of your lips. “I know what you’d say. You’d probably call me all different types of names in Sokovian.” Tears fell from your eyes as your nose burned, and the next thing you said came out uneven, “But I forgave you, huh, so why not forgive…”

The feeling of realization hit you so fast, it brought a nauseating twist to your gut as you looked up at her name once more. Your eyebrows pinched together, and the tears that poured from your eyes turned hot with anger as your jaw locked dangerously tight. You climbed to your feet, your hands balled into fists, and fury formed a tight knot in your chest as you turned to walk away once more.

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“We’re home!” Her voice nearly echoed through the dark house, followed by the door closing shut behind them. It was always an instinct to flicker the light on whenever entering a room, and that’s what she did. She turned on the light and instantly found you sitting on the couch, a cup of amber liquid dangling from the tips of your fingers. Her face contorted into confusion as she sent Anthony to get ready for bed before making her way to you in slow, calculated movements. “Y/N?” She stopped at the doorway of the living room, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I figured it out,” you expressed, your voice monotone as you snorted out a humorless chuckle. You shook your head, lifting the glass in the air as you continued to stare at the blank TV. “It’s all coming together quite nicely now.”

“What are you talking about?” She took a few more steps toward you. “Are you drunk?”

“Not drunk enough,” you countered, turning your head to look at her. You made eye contact as you took another sip of your drink, and she released a heft breath as she sat down on the other end of the couch. 

“Y/N…” She cleared her throat. “Maybe you should get some rest.”

“What did you do that made me forgive you so fast?” you questioned, your tongue flicking out to lick your lips as you awaited an answer. She could only seem to stare at you with an unchanged expression.

“I don’t know what you’re-”

“That’s the thing, Nat,” you interrupted, leaning forward to place your drink on the coffee table. “I didn’t forgive you.”

She scoffed, shaking her head. “Of course you did,” she argued. “We wouldn’t be married if you didn’t.”

“We’re not married.”

“Our certificate says otherwise.”

“So show me,” you challenged, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“What?”

“Show me the certificate, Nat.” But she just sat there, unmoving. As if your demand wasn’t to be taken seriously. You could feel your heart speed up the longer she didn’t say anything. “You can’t, can you?”

“I shouldn’t have to,” she claimed defensively. 

“It’s too bad Bruce is dead,” you expressed with a casual shrug. “You would’ve married him instead.”

“What has gotten into you?” she demanded, standing up. “It’s been over a year since I-”

“No, it wasn’t!” Your voice was loud, you couldn’t control it. The anger unraveled in your chest, bringing you to your feet as your eyes grew red with unshed tears. You couldn’t bare to look at her, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to turn away. Her pupils were wide, wrapping her arms around you as she maintained eye contact. “It wasn’t to me,” you sneered.

“Y/N-”

“It hasn’t been a year since you broke my heart. It hasn’t been a year since you destroyed my trust. It’s been a month since you ruined my life!”

“You need to calm down right now.” Her tone was serious, a warning just as it had been last night. You refused to cower away from this. No, you had to get to the truth. You had to know why you couldn’t remember anything that led up to this life. Though you knew you shouldn’t. It was a happy life. You had a family; a kid and a wife. You had taken that next step with Natasha, the step you had always wanted to take long before. But not like this. Not anymore.

“I stopped wanting to marry you the second I caught you in that bed with him,” you said. “That was the day I realized that we had very different meanings of love.” You rubbed your forehead as your eyes fluttered close, smirking. “When I said I loved you, I meant forever. When you said you loved me, you meant temporarily.”

“I do love you,” she expressed defensively. “I loved you then and I love you now, Y/N.”

You shook your head, opening your eyes to look at her once more. “Our love is broken, Nat. And we need to stop pretending it isn’t.”

“We can fix it.” She stepped forward, ignoring the anger still boiling in your veins as she reached up to bring your face between her hands. Her touch was gentle, warm, and you had to fight everything in your body to stop yourself from leaning into it. “Y/N, detka… We can fix it.” Her voice was much softer now, and her eyes… Her eyes were shimmering with hope, sparkling like you were looking at the night sky. She had a light smile on her face, and her thumbs were running smooth circles against your skin. You could feel yourself giving in, your hands twitching as you resisted the urge to feel her. But your shoulders fell, your muscles easing out of their tense state as you slowly succumbed to her touch.

“Please fix it,” you whispered, feeling her swipe her thumb quickly to catch a stray tear. 

“I will.” She nodded, her small smile growing very slightly as you stepped forward to close the distance, wrapping your arms around her to bring her into a tight hug. You rested your chin on her shoulder, your eyes closing as she pulled you flushed against her. “I promise.”

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“I’m glad you called me.” You placed a steaming cup in front of him, smiling as he accepted the offering. You watched as he blew on the liquid for a moment before taking a timid sip. “Actually, I’m more shocked than anything.” Woods laughed lightly as he looked back up at you, meeting your gaze. 

You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest. “I want to talk,” you said. “Something hasn’t been sitting right with me and I was hoping you’d fill in the blanks.”

“Well, I’ll do my best to ease the uneasiness.” He laughed softly once more, and you pursed your lips and raised your eyebrows briefly before turning away from him to sit down. “What’s been on your mind?”

“Everything that happened between now and Avengers Day is just… blank. But I keep getting overwhelmed by all these memories,” you started, rubbing your hands together. “Some are just normal. Others have, like, this… sickly purple tint to them.” You picked your head up to meet his eye once again, catching him in deep thought as he listened. “I just want to understand why.”

“Do you still believe the Church is alive?” You stared at him for a bit longer, wondering if he was trying to lead you into a trap. Natasha had practically looked at you as if you were absolutely insane for suggesting the Church was still around. Was he trying to do the same? “Because, if you do, that could lead to the delusion that you’re seeing purple in your memories.” He cleared his throat, picking his hand up as he added, “It’s like someone thinking they’re being followed. Allowing yourself to strongly believe such a thing is causing you to become paranoid.”

“When Steve succumbed to the Church, they went to the Avengers Tower. How much of a coincidence could it have been that the only survivors of that entire battle were Vision and Bruce?” Two people you most definitely didn’t want to deal with amongst everything else at the time.

“Well, I wasn’t there, so I wouldn’t really be able to calculate that math,” he confessed, though the smile he was fighting to hide showed he was joking.

“And Wanda…” You remembered pulling open that front door; the way he was kissing her, and the way she was kissing back. The feelings you experienced at the time. “She kissed Vision when I thought that we… But she wouldn’t ever do anything like that to me, right?”

“But she did,” he claimed, furrowing his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly. 

“I got Nat, I got Tony. I…” You huffed. “I love them. They are my… my family.” Despite the doubts that were placed in your brain, Natasha was the one you wanted… right? “And I want to enjoy this time I have with them. I want to… live this life like I always wanted.”

“What are you getting at, Y/N?”

“It’s like my-my brain is fighting something and I...”

“Y/N-”

“Maybe I never beat the Church. Maybe… I never got out of the Promise.”

He sighed, scratching his chin.

“I think I’m still in it, Woods,” you explained, leaning forward, “and I need you to help me believe I’m not.”

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She was lost in thought, her eyes distant as she chewed the inside of her cheek. She wasn’t focused on the conversation going on around her, racking her brain for a solution to the problem at hand. But nothing she could think of provided the answer she wanted. They all only led to unwelcoming conclusions.

“Nat.” She was pulled out of her daze by the gentle call of her name, focusing her gaze on the patriot sitting across from her. “You okay?” His stare was soft, sympathetic, with his arms crossed over his chest in a casual manner. He was in no rush at the moment, taking the time now to relax before getting to work. “She’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out, we always do.”

“I suggest locking her up in a cell and throwing away the key.” She looked towards Tony, who was sitting against the wall, coddling his left arm. Her pupils were narrowed with annoyance, but he was never one to cower away from her glares. “She’s the reason for-”

“Stark is right.” The Russian huffed, her eyes snapping on Bruce. “She should be punished for what she did.”

Natasha scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest in a much more defensive way than Steve. “We all did things we’re not proud of.”

“She’s done a lot worse, Nat,” Bruce expressed, his voice filled with a worry that only irritated her more.

“We didn’t blow up the tower,” Stark countered.

“Once she snaps out of it-”

“If,” Tony corrected, but the scientist continued as if he didn’t.

“-then we have to prepare ourselves for whatever happens afterward.”

Natasha turned to Steve, who had been staring at her with calculating eyes the entire time. “You’re not going to arrest her,” she stated. It wasn’t a question, he knew that, but he wasn’t going to delve into a problem that was set in the future. He needed to return the focus to the now.

“We’ll talk about that after,” Steve assured, bringing sadness to Natasha as she looked down at her hands. “For now, we have to figure out a way to help her. She’s the only one who can fix this problem.”

“She’s not the only one who can fix it,” Tony announced, causing the patriot to roll his eyes.

“We don’t need any more deaths, Tony,” Steve declared. “Wanda thinks she died in the fall, but if we manage to pull her out-”

Natasha picked her head up to look at you once more, and it made her sick to her stomach to see you tied to that chair. But she was nearly certain you weren’t aware of your surroundings at the moment. With your posture straight, your stare unblinking, and the purple aura surrounding your body, you were lost in a paradise formed by your own mind.

“-we can save everybody.”

[untoldreader]

Shadows of Love: Natasha Romanoff and Y/N'S Destiny Masterlist

Note: These chapter summaries may be modified or expanded upon writing :)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

[natashas-girl]

Birthday girl

A/n: sorry this is a day late!

Summary: a natasha birthday fic without angst

genre: fluff

At 4:30 AM, before Natasha got up, you tip-toed into her room and slipped underneath her sheets. 

"Happy birthday, natty." You whispered when her eyes fluttered open. The two of you hadn't moved in together yet, because you didn't want to rush it, but you had been dating for over a year now.  "I was gonna give you some extra cuddle time before you went to the gym." 

"I'll skip it this morning," she said, a smile playing on her lips. "I want more time with you." Her hand found yours as she buried herself in your side. Honestly, you just wanted to stay like that, forever and ever. 

At some point, you fell asleep. You woke up to footsteps all around you. 

"Hap-" you bolted up. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" You hissed. Tony, Bruce, Wanda, Thor, vision, clint, and yelena were standing by the foot of Natasha's bed. 

"L/n," wanda teased, "didn't expect to see you here." 

"You're going to wake her up, you absolute dumbasses! It's-" you looked at the clock on the wall. "Six AM!"

"She usually gets up at five!" Tony whined.

"It's her motherfucking birthday! She can sleep in!"

"For the record, or your grudge list, i told them it was a bad idea." Yelena whispered as she herded everyone out of Natasha's room. You sighed and climbed back into bed. 

"Thanks," natasha whispered when you were back in her arms. "For 'earths mightiest heroes', they seem to be really bad at planning." She hopped out of bed and grabbed your hand, pulling you up. "Well, since your here and we're both awake, do you want to join me in the shower?" 

You blushed. "Sure. . . If you really dont mind." She still screwed your brains, that girl. 

Sorry, i wanted it to be longer but ran out of inspiration. I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how all of the natasha birthday fics are so angsty/smutty, so i tried to do just fluff ❤️ I struggled to find any plot though, and wow i did not realize until now how angsty my fics are lol

I know that its short. . . I’ve been in a bit of a writer’s block lately, which is why i haven’t really been posting.

I hope that you liked it!

[jpmarvel90]

Don't Belong part 2

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Part 1

Word Count: 5499

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: After Y/n's accident on her mission, her mother's are terrified that they might not get the chance to make things right with their daughter. That's assuming Y/n wants anything to do with them when she comes around.

Nat: Mama Wanda: Mom

Nat's POV:

It's been over 24 hours since Y/n came out of surgery and she's still unconscious with a machine helping her breathe. I thought she would have been awake by now and there'd be a relief that she was on the start of her long road to recovery.

Instead, Wanda and I are glued to our seats next to her bed. We've only gotten up to use the bathroom. Otherwise, we've remained by her side. Pepper kindly offered to take the boys for as long as it's needed. Though they are both very anxious to see Y/n themselves. They might be young, but they understand that she's hurt. They love their sister, and they want her to wake up just as much as we do.

I've not slept since we found out that she was hurt, and I don't plan to until she is awake. Though the longer it goes on, the more my body is fighting against that desire. I want to be there when she wakes up to show her that her moms are going to be there for her the whole way through her recovery.

Wanda and I have spoken a lot over the last day. We've shared our pain and sadness, whilst making sure we come up with a plan to help her with her recovery and to ultimately gain her forgiveness.

We both know that Y/n will not forgive us easily, if at all. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to try with everything in us. For too long we've allowed her to go about her life thinking that we don't love or care for her anymore. She has every right to feel that way after how we've treated her. But she will not ever question that again.

The both of us are sat in silence, both of us watching over our daughter. My eyes are trained on her chest, making sure that she is still breathing, gaining a lot of comfort from the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. However, the silence doesn't last long until the door flies open.

Out of instinct, both Wanda and I shoot up from our seats and take a defensive stance in front of our daughter to protect her from any danger. However, we soon relax when we see Yelena's worried face. "I came as soon as I could." She tells us as she moves closer to the bed, her hand hesitant as it reaches out towards her niece.

Yelena has been away for most of the time over the last few years. She's been helping to find all the widows and has only come back for a couple of days at a time. Each time though, she has always made time for us. "How is she?" She asks, as I pull up another chair for my sister.

"It's not good. She's still in critical condition. They had to remove part of her liver, but Cho reckons that if she can get through these first few days, that she'll be on track for a full recovery." I fill her in as her eyes never leave Y/n. "Clint said that it was a double agent that set her up." She states and we nod in clarification. "I'll be paying a visit to Fury when I'm done here." She announces, an anger to her voice. "We've tried to see him, but Fury won't let us anywhere near him." Wanda warns her but Yelena just scoffs. "I'll get to him one way or another." She states and I believe her. She's incredibly protective of the people she loves, and she'll want to make sure that he pays. I actually hope that she does.

"Wait, you said you were with Clint?" I question her and she nods. "Yeah, he was with me on my last mission. He's waiting outside, he didn't want to intrude." She responds, pointing towards the window behind her where Clint is stood with a young girl next to him. "Who's with him?" I ask. "Kate Bishop. Clint's stray. He's going to see if she can join Shield." Yelena explains. "She was with us and had no where else to go so I said she could stay here for now." She adds on. If Clint thinks she's worthy of Shield, then I believe that she is. She must also be good if Yelena has been working with her. She wouldn't let anyone help who would slow her down.

"How long are you back for?" Wanda steps in with her own question, making my own ears prick up for her response. "As long as I need to be. I want to be around to help with her recovery." Yelena replies, making me smile. Y/n is going to need all the help she can get, and she adores Yelena, so I'm glad that she's not going anywhere any time soon.

After a while, we indicate for Clint and Kate to come in. We go through our introduction, and I can see how enthusiastic Kate is. She's very chatty and I'm surprise she's not pissed off Clint and Yelena yet though! "I read about Y/n in the Young Initiative files." Kate shares. "Did you know she is the only recruit to ever get a perfect score. She could have passed the exams two years ago and still topped the class." She tells us enthusiastically. "Sounds like you're a fan." Yelena teases her, making the young girl blush. "I guess when your parents are the Black Widow and the Scarlett Witch, you're going to be good." Kate chuckles.

It makes my gaze drop, something that Yelena clocks on to instantly. She's not been around so hasn't seen how we've treated Y/n. I'm actually worried for when I tell her. She's going to hate us for it and I'd be surprised if she even lets us stay around Y/n. "Y/n did it all on her own. With a little help from Steve. Her talent has come from her own ability and desire to be the best." Wanda corrects Kate, showing that we have no claim to how good Y/n is at being an agent. "Oh, that's even more impressive then. You must be really proud." She smiles at us and we both nod. "More than she'll ever know." I mutter.

__________

When Kate and Clint leave, Yelena is quick to question Wanda and I. We tell her of what's been going on and how ashamed we are and how much we want to be able to fix everything. "You don't deserve to fix it." She spits angrily at us. "It's no excuse to say that you got lost in the boys. Y/n is your daughter too and she needed you." She shouts, calling us both out on our actions. "We know Yelena. We can't take back how we've treated her. But I promise that we won't every do anything like that again!" I tell her sincerely. "No, you won't. I won't let you. If you are going to be back in her life as the parents you should have been, you have to be all in. You promised to be better than we had Natasha!" She tells me firmly with a finger jabbing into my chest.

"I know Yelena. I wish I had a valid excuse or reason for what we did. I will never forgive myself. I will always have a hatred towards myself for ever making her feel the way we did. But I'm not going to wallow and hide away from it. I want to own up to the mistake and try and fix it. I know that it's not going to be an easy fix, but I will stay here and face the brunt of the anger and pain that she's feeling because I will not give up on her. Not again." I tell her passionate. "Neither of us will. I promise you Yelena, we will do everything in our power to fix this." Wanda steps up and adds her own promise, taking my hand. At least we have each other through all of this.

Yelena doesn't speak, she just looks between the two of us, her chest heaving with anger. It's intimidating to be the one on the receiving end, but we deserve it. I'm glad that Yelena is here. She simple nods her head and that is the subject over with. For now.

That night, my body ultimately wins, and I end up getting a couple of hours sleep. Though it's full of nightmares that I can't seem to escape and then when I wake up, I'm terrified that Y/n will be awake already and I'll have missed it. But when my body wakes with a jolt, I'm met with my sleeping wife and still unconscious daughter.

I stretch out and move closer to the bed and take Y/n's bruised hand in my own. "I can't lose you. You are my daughter, blood or not and I love you so much. I know I haven't shown that to you and there is no excuse for that. I also know that you have every right to never forgive me. So, my only request, is please wake up. Please survive. I don't think I can live in a world without you in it." I plead with her. Hoping that somewhere in her subconscious she can hear me. I squeeze her hand, hoping for any response, but nothing comes.

The day goes by slower than usual. That is until Cho comes in to check on Y/n and gives us the good news that she should be able to breathe without the ventilator now. Wanda and I step outside as we watch through the window. We're holding on to each other tightly as we watch. "This is good. She's strong and this is the first step to her waking up." Wanda speaks. I can hear the hesitation in her voice, showing that she is trying to convince herself more than anything. "You're right. She is so strong. I know she's going to wake up soon." I add on, smiling at my wife.

Cho soon joins us with a smile. "She's doing well. She's now breathing easily on her own. I expect she'll wake up within a few hours. I'll be back to do a full examination then so we can assess her injuries." She informs us. I feel a sense of relief wash over me. Hopefully it won't be long until our daughter is back with us.

The next couple of hours seems to drag by. Clint, Yelena and Kate all paid another visit but left to try and sort a room out for Kate in the compound. Steve was then the next to join us, taking a seat at the end of Y/n's bed. It's a long wait until we finally see a twitch to Y/n's eye.

I'm the first to my feet, leaning over to see if I had imagined the small movement. "Y/n, honey. It's mama. Can you hear me?" I ask her, fighting off the tears threatening to fall. With a flutter, her blues eyes lock on to mine. "She squeezed my hand." Wanda says excitedly. "Baby, we're here." She tells Y/n, who's got a confused look in her eyes.

"You're in the medical wing sweetheart. You got shot on your mission." I explain to her. "S-t-Steve." She stutters out. "He's fine. He's here." I reassure her, waving for Steve to come closer. "Hey kiddo. Boy we're glad to see you awake." He tells her with a relived smile. One that she returns. "I'll got and get Dr Cho." Wanda states, quickly leaving the room. "T-the m-mission." Y/n starts but Steve is quick to stop her. "Is not to worry about right now. Just know it wasn't your fault. But we'll explain it when you're doing better." He tells her, earning a nod. She reaches out her hand to Steve and he instantly takes it. "You're not allowed to scare us like that again." He chuckles, his voice wavering.

"S-sorry." She replies, her eyes fluttering again. "It's ok sweetheart. Don't fight it if you want to sleep again." I tell her softly. She doesn't really acknowledge me, but she does seem to listen as her eyes flutter shut once again.

They don't stay closed for long though, soon woken up by Cho as she comes in with a wide smile. "There's my favourite patient." She smiles at Y/n, who grins in return. "I bet you s-say that to e-everyone." Y/n responds through a struggled chuckle. "But with you I actually mean it." Cho winks, before looking over Y/n's chart and obs.

She takes the time to explain Y/n's injuries to her and the plan for her recovery. I see her face drop when she realises she's going to be in the hospital for at least another week before being on strict bed rest when she's discharged. "I'll be around if you need anything or have any questions. So please get one of the nurses to get me if you need me. That goes for all of you." Dr Cho offers. "Thank you. For everything." I tell her sincerely. She gives me a tightly smile before turning on her heel and leaving the three of us too it.

With Cho gone, it's silent in the med bay as Wanda, Steve and I just watch over Y/n. She is struggling to keep her eyes open, but I can see a pain in them when they lock on to mine. "You should get some rest kiddo." Steve speaks up as Y/n nods in return. "W-will you s-stay?" She asks, making Steve smile widely. "Of course." He returns, moving to get another chair to sit with us. At that confirmation, Y/n seems comfortable enough to let her eyes close and for sleep to take back over.

It's almost agony to see her asleep once again. We've been waiting for so long for her to wake up, for her to be asleep so soon is tough. I almost want to start apologising and showing her that we're going to change and it's going to stick. But I don't want to overwhelm her. At the moment, her recovery is the most important thing. As much as I hate it, earning her forgiveness will have to wait.

"Now she's awake, you two should head to your apartment. See the twins, eat some proper food, and get some sleep. I can stay with her." Steve offers, but I'm quick to decline. "I don't want to leave her." I tell him, whilst gripping her hand tighter, my eyes not leaving her sleeping form. Steve lets out a sigh. "She'll be asleep for a while, and she needs you both on top form." He tells us.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Wanda smiling warmly at me. I hadn't even noticed that she had moved from the other side of the bed. "Steve's right. We've been here for days. If we want to do what's right by Y/n, then we need to look after ourselves as well." She speaks sense.

With a huff I stand from my seat and lean forward to press a kiss to Y/n's head. "We'll be back later sweetheart. I love you so much." I tell her softly then move so that Wanda can say goodbye too. With one last look to our daughter, we both reluctantly leave. Though I smile when I see Steve move closer and take Y/n's hand in his own. Although I will forever regret how we have treated Y/n, I'm glad that she has had Steve there for her.

Y/n's POV:

Well, that was not how I wanted my first mission to go. I wanted to impress everyone, not end up in the med bay with part of my liver missing! Waking up was a weird experience. Seeing my parents' faces were the last thing I expected to see. They seem genuinely worried, but that was probably all a front for everyone else. They can't be seen to not care about the daughter they've ignored for the last few years.

When I wake up next, I see Steve smile down at me. "You're still here." I say and he nods. "Of course. I wanted to make sure that you're ok." He replies, making my own smile grow. I look around and my smile drops when I see that my moms aren't here. I can't hide that it hurts a little that they didn't stick around. But I shouldn't care about that. They haven't cared about me.

"Should have guessed they would go once I woke up." I complain, wincing as I try to adjust myself in bed. "Careful Y/n/n." Steve scolds me as he shoots to his feet to help adjust my pillows. "I told them to go." He admits and I look at him with a frown. "Not like that. But they have not left your side since you were brought in. They weren't looking after themselves and if they are going to help you through your recovery, they need to be at 100%" He explains but I just scoff.

"I don't need their help with my recovery. They didn't care before I was hurt, they don't get to care now." I groan. Steve takes his seat again and looks at me with his, "I know I'm right" look. "Y/n. I know you don't believe it, but they do care for you. They were cut up when you got hurt. They were devastated that they wouldn't have the chance to be able to make things up to you." He says. I roll my eyes, but he continues. "Look, I'm not saying you have to forgive them. But you can't question how much they have cared for you over the last few days."

"Fine, but I'm not going back to their place to recover." I huff, folding my arms. "Considering you've been shot and in a medically induced coma for the last few days, it's good to see it hasn't affected your attitude." Steve teases.

We sit in silence as I think about my parents. They surely can't think that just because they've been sat beside my bed whilst I've been hurt is going to make up for everything that they have done over the years? Who's to say that they won't go back to how they were once I'm healed? I have a place at Sheild now. Somewhere that I can make a name for myself and create my own family.

"I'm sorry I messed up the mission." I break the silence, my mind now moving on to the fact I failed at my first mission. "You didn't fail anything kiddo. We were set up. If anything, I should apologise to you. They were after me, but you were the one to get hurt. You did a great job of take on as many agents as you did." He explains, taking my hand in his. "You fought, and it's because of your skill and ability that you're alive. You impressed everyone." He assures me, running his thumb over my bruised knuckles.

Our moment is broken when my moms walk back in. "You're awake!" Mom says excitedly as both her and mama move into the room quickly. Steve moves back from my side, which I frown at as mama takes my hand in hers. I'm quick to pull it away. The hurt that flashes across her face doesn't go unnoticed, but I'm not in the mood to pretend like everything is ok right now.

"How are you feeling?" Mom asks, appearing to my left. "I'm fine." I respond shortly, receiving a warning raised eyebrow from Steve. "Are you in pain? I can get the nurse to come in and get you some pain killers." Mom fusses. "I'm fine." I repeat the same words. "That's not true, you've been wincing since you've woken up." Steve rats me out. Traitor. "If a 40 calibre bullet went through you, I'm sure you'd be wincing too." I snap. "Told you. Amazing how your attitude hasn't changed." Steve chuckles.

However, both my mom's look at me with worried looks. "I'm going to get Dr Cho. You look pale." Mom worries before rushing out the room.

Mama reaches forward and places her hand on my head, which I quickly try and move away from her touch. "You're hot. I hope you're not running a fever." She states. "Like you care." I mumble, but she hears it and that look of hurt appears on her face again. "Look Y/n. I know you believe that we don't care or love you. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I want nothing more than to talk to you about it and start to make up for everything. But right now, all that matters is your recovery. You can hate us and ignore us or yell at us, but we are not going anywhere." She states firmly, her eyes locked on to mine. I just roll my eyes and turn to look at Dr Cho who has walking into the room.

She checks me over and I notice the frown on her face. "What's up?" I question. "I'm worried about your temperature. I want to run some tests, but with the inflammation to your incision, I'm worried you've got an infection. It's nothing to worry about as we've caught it early. But we'll need to keep a close eye on you." She replies. "So, no discharge yet then." I huff.

Cho chuckles and looks up from my chart. "It's funny you think you were close even without this infection." She teases. "Aren't you meant to be nice to me? I'm a patient after all." I pout. "If I'm on good behaviour, can I get out early?" I plead. "Maybe in a week. But you'll be on strict bed rest and need to be cared for. You're still technically a minor." Cho breaks the news and I know exactly what she's getting at. "But I'm 18 in like 4 days! Besides, I literally got shot on a mission for Shield. Surely that's enough?" I argue.

"Y/n, you are going to struggle to walk, let alone be able to properly look after yourself. Even after you're 18, you'll need support during your recovery. It isn't a simple road ahead for you." Dr Cho returns. "So, what are you saying?" I get straight to the point. "I'm recommending that you are discharged to your family. You'll be in the compound so if anything goes wrong, you can get the right medical attention straight away." She explains. "Really? There are no other options. Can't I stay with Steve or something?" I ask but she shakes her head.

"Y/n, come on. It's what is best for you. Your moms will be there to help. I'll be away on missions so can't give you the care you need." Steve speaks up, but soon shrinks back as I glare at him. "Really, what makes you think that I'll get the care I need at home?" I growl, my anger building. "Y/n..." Mama starts but I cut her off. "No! You can't just stand there and act like the caring parents when you have done nothing to back that claim up. I've been the forgotten daughter for years! Slowly I have been pushed out this family and now you want me to just act like everything is ok and trust that you'll look after me?!" I yell, that frustration finally finding its way out.

"Y/n, you need to calm down. Your heartrate is getting too high." Dr Cho tries to calm me down. "Kiddo. You're ok. You need to give them a chance." Steve tries to reason. "A chance like I was given? I've practically raised myself these last few years!" I snap. Why is he suddenly defending them?!

"Please sweetheart. You're going to make yourself sicker. We want to be there for you. We're not denying how badly we've treated you. But I promise that it will never happen again. You'll be safe with us. We just want to be able to care for you and help you get to full health." Mama speaks, her eyes filled with tears. I look between her, and mom and I see that she's almost inconsolable. "Do I have a choice?" I sigh, turning to Cho. "Technically, yes. But physically, you won't be able to follow through with it." She breaks the bad news. Suddenly the sounds of my heart monitor becomes noticeable so I lie back and take a couple of deep breaths. I can feel all their eyes on me, and I let out a sigh. "Fine whatever." I respond. I just need to do everything that Cho tells me so I can heal as fast as possible and move back to Shield and start my life again.

__________

The next few days are not fun. My infection hit me pretty hard, and I spent a lot of time either sweating or freezing whilst fighting the urge to throw up. I hate being stuck in this bed and I just want to be healthy again and being able to go on missions. Before it went south, I was loving it. Even if it was just a small one.

I'm also finding it hard that my mothers are suddenly around all the time. Mama is much better at not smothering me. Mom on the other hand, she is always fussing. But that's her and I used to love it when I was younger, when she actually cared about my wellbeing. "Wands, she's already said she has enough pillows." Mama sighs, her own frustrations growing. "Yes, sorry you did." Mom apologises, slowly putting the pillow down she had in her hands.

"Can I get you anything else? Some food. Though the food here is pretty horrible. When you're back home, I'll make sure to cook you something tasty with the food you're allowed to eat." She starts to ramble. I'm not going to lie, that does sound amazing, and I'd kill for a bowl of paprikash right now. I remember when mom taught me how to cook it. It was one of the last memories I have of us spending quality time together.

I don't realise I'm smiling until I see both my parents looking at me warmly. I quickly shake it off, not wanting to let them think that I'm enjoying this in the slightest. "You know what. A sandwich would be good." I say, taking them both by surprise. I've not been very talkative, but I could do with a break right now. I know I won't be able to get rid of both of them, but I can at least take a break from mom fussing.

"Of course. I'll go and make you something up and bring it down. The bread is always dry here." She speaks, grabbing a couple of things and turning to leave. "Maybe I'll check with Cho if you could have a smoothy." She mumbles, making mama chuckle as she leaves.

I let out a breath of relief. I feel slightly less suffocated. But I am still very aware of mama's eyes boring into me. I'm used to her being quiet. She always observes, making her conclusions before talking when it's necessary. But seeing her now, it feels different. I'm pretty good at reading people and I can tell that she is lost in her own thoughts. I've only seen her like it a couple of times before and it's been after particularly difficult missions. Ones that bring up bad memories for her.

I grab the TV remote and try and find something to watch. I end up with Rizzoli and Isles on. I don't really watch it, but the sound is helping to break the awkward silence. Just after they break the case in the show, I notice mama sit more upright in her seat.

"When I found you in Hydra, I knew instantly that I wanted to help you. There was something about you that melted my heart. When we found out that you had no family to return you to, it wasn't even a question, I knew I was going to adopt you. In that short space of time, I had spent with you, I grew to love you." She starts. I don't look to her, my focus on the TV.

"Even though you had been through so much, you had this happiness around you. You were grateful for everything and found the joy in the smallest thing. I just wanted to give you a life that you deserved. When I married Wanda, I was so happy that I could give you two loving parents." From the corner of my eye, I can see her smile tearily as she picks at the skin around her fingers.

"I failed you Y/n. When I adopted you, I promised that I would be the best parent to you. That you would never want for anything. What's worse, is I never even noticed what I was doing. What we were both doing. I've always prided myself on being able to read people, but I couldn't see the damage I was doing to my own daughter." She continues, pain evident in her voice.

"I wish I could go back in time to change how we acted with you. To include you fully with the twins, to support you in your work in the Shield Programme. To show that even with the boys, you were loved and an integral part of this family. All I can do is apologise and promise that we are not going to let that happen again." She finishes, finally look up to me, a couple of tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's been years. We're not just talking about a couple of months here." I speak up, still not able to lock eyes with her. "Steve became more of a parent for me than the two of you." I admit, and that seems to make mama's heart break a little more. "Is it because I'm not biologically yours and moms?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Mama is quickly to her feet and takes my hand in between both of hers. "No. Of course not Detka, and I will forever hate myself that I've allowed you to think otherwise." She tries to reassure me, a panic in her eyes. "I wish I could give you a reason for why we acted like we did. Initially, it was because we were so focused on the boys, but after that, I have no idea. I wish I could pinpoint why, maybe it would make this all easier. I know you probably don't believe it, but I love you as much as those boys. Blood doesn't matter to me. You are my daughter as much as they are my sons. I know and feel that through every fibre of my body." She expresses. The sincerity is evident in both her voice and facial expressions. "Saying sorry isn't going to fix this. You only knew what you were doing because I called you out on it. Had I not gotten shot, would you have made any effort to rectify what was wrong?" I question her, my anger growing.

"We wanted to. We were planning on taking you to breakfast to talk and work out a way that we could make things right with you. But you had gone, and we couldn't get to you. You have a lot of people at Sheild that love you." She chuckles humourlessly. That is true. Maria is like an aunt to me and her and Fury happily kept my room allocation secret, "Look, I know that we don't deserve your forgiveness, but it doesn't mean that we are going to stop trying." She states firmly.

"It's not that simple mama. I have learnt to live without you now and I've got my own place with Shield. We can both move on with you getting your perfect biological family and I get the career I want." I say, but that only makes mama cry more. "No, our family is only perfect if you are in it too!" She almost shouts, but she's quick to calm herself down. "Look, we've got to live together through your recovery, let's just see how things go after that ok." She proposes. "Fine, but I can't promise anything will change." I respond and she nods. "I know. But I'm going to try everything to earn your forgiveness." She comes back with a newfound confidence.

We fall back into a silence, one that feels more comfortable. Mama looks less stressed, but her brow is still furrowed. When mom returns, the quiet is broken again, despite mama trying to get her to calm down. I try not to smile when she tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I miss this caring side of my parents so much. But for me, it's too little, too late.

Part 3

Taglist: @reggierizzoli @ordelixx @mousetheorist

[lesyoussoupoff]

Grand Duke Alexander, Princess Irina and Grand Duchess Xenia

[theneverendingshow]

Saloma aka Maxa Z via Femjoy

[agentsterling]

What did you think of agent Barton disobeying orders and bringing in the Black Widow at first? Has your opinion of his actions changed over time?

"I don't even think I was in SHIELD yet when she was recruited." Years seemed to start jumbling together after a while of working there. Still, Barton and Black Widow seemed to have always been a constant since he started. He couldn't imagine or remember a time before they were together.

"But I can't imagine I would have agreed at first. SHIELD is a sea of grey when all I wanted was black and white. When I was first recruited I didn't understand that the bad guys were... still people. Hell, it's hard to even imagine who Barton used to be because I only know him as he is. I look down on all these former criminals and then have to remind myself I should be treating him the same. But I don't. Because I know him and I know he's a good man despite his upbringing and early choices. So yes, I probably frowned upon it, but now the agents with some of the highest body counts and most questionable backgrounds are my closest and most trusted friends. People change. People grow. The gray may be confusing but it makes us human."

[speciallysapphic]

Missing Moments

While Yelena and Alexei talk we miss what happens at the table between just Natasha and Melina. Here’s what I imagine it to be:

Natasha looks past Melina at the door, trying not to let the concern and guilt she felt show on her face. Melina looks down at the tablet in front of her. 

“I didn’t know...” Melina mutters

“What?” Natasha answers more sharply than she intended

“I didn’t know that he... I didn’t realize... I didn’t know she had been selected for that program.” She manages to get the words out but softly.

Nat leans back in her chair and lets her eyes fully take in Melina. The woman who had always looked so strong to Natasha looked so vulnerable here. 

“What do you mean you didn’t know? Of course Dreykov would use the science on every Widow.”

“When Dreykov sent me here to work on the science of the chemical subjugation I jumped at the opportunity. It meant I didn’t have to be in the Red Room. I got so caught up in the question of could we, I never stopped to consider who it would really affect. He never let me see that side of it...” Melina looks back at the door Yelena walked behind moments ago as she finishes her thought. 

Natasha isn’t entirely sure what to say, but she can feel her anger towards Dreykov growing. She stands up and the scene continues.