#*patiently waits for the KS to come out*

[luveline]

your spencer writing is so beautiful jadey! i was wondering if we could get some hurt comfort where reader really struggles after a case and he comforts her? <3

thank you ♡

Grief for other people can vary in strength. Ever present, occasionally numbing, tonight's case has left you neck deep in it, and the feeling needs to come out. Tears slink down your face in lazy rivers. You keep thinking you'll stop crying. Then you remember her hand, soft with newness and curled in death, and it starts again. 

It hurts to cry. You don't attempt to stop; you don't think about it, or the team, or the heat at your side, you just think about the girl's hand. It's not fair. It's too much. 

"It's okay," Spencer says. You know it's him without looking, his voice a familiar gentleness that reaches your ears despite the roaring-quiet nothing and your sniffles. 

You turn your face away from him to hide. 

He puts his hand on your thigh amicably, his tone encouraging as he continues, "If you don't calm down you'll throw up. What can I do?" 

You suck in a shaky breath, an attempt to regulate feelings too big for one body, "Sorry, it's– I'm fine. I'll be fine," you wobble. You can't finish the second fine, a cry crushing it down. 

Another hand touches you, fingers on your wrist and weaving down. He covers the back of your hand with his palm. It's not like Spencer, but it's not like you to cry like this. 

Spencer doesn't tell you to stop crying or try to shush you. He'd told you once that he tries not to stop people when they're talking, because he knows what it feels like to be shut up. I wish people… I wish people would have more patience, I think. Sometimes I can't get things out the way others want me to, and I get that things are time sensitive, but. I don't know. If I have time to listen, I'll listen. 

Listen to you cry, listen to your staggering breaths as you catch them. Patient, Spencer pulls your hand to his lap and draws letters into your wrist. You can't make out what he's writing, but you can feel the bumps and curves of Os and Ks. Maybe he's telling you it's okay, maybe he's writing out a recipe. Whatever it is, it calms you down. 

"Do you want some water?" he asks as you still. He sounds pitying, sure, but he understands. His thumb rubs down to the middle of your hand. 

"Yeah. Please." 

He passes you a plastic bottle of water with the seal already broken. You have the wherewithal, then, to see where you are. The conference room is dark, and your teammates have given you the chance to cry alone, though they'd sent Spencer in to keep you company, it seems. You can see Morgan waiting out by the door like your bodyguard, and you're sure you can hear Hotch shouting. Or, not shouting, he doesn't yell much, but his voice is loud and terse. He cannot be argued with. 

"I'm sorry you got the short straw." 

Spencer puts an arm behind your back. "Actually, I had to fight Emily to be the one who gets to sit with you. And I can't fight, so it was more like begging." 

He rubs your back. You forget that he's a man, sometimes, but you can feel the ridges of his arm, smell the woody scent of his deodorant as it stretches around you in a half hug. His awkwardness with women doesn't extend to his friends at any rate, and he hugs you with surety. 

"You're one of my favourite people. I'm sorry you didn't know that. Holding your hand when you cry isn't a short straw," he says. 

You lean into his shoulder. He murmurs a quiet, "Come here," as you do, his jaw pressed tight to your forehead. 

"I'm so sorry," you say. To him and to someone else. 

"It's okay. It's not your fault. You can't save everyone." He sounds near choking up with his last sentence. It's a grim and undeniable truth. No matter how hard any of you try, there will be impossible cases with twisting riddles for motivation and terror that fills every corner. There will be young girls who die, because there will always be someone waiting to hurt them. 

"I tried–" You bite your cheek until it screams at you to stop. 

"I know. There was nothing else we could do." 

You turn into him completely, wrapping your arms around his waist in a vice. Spencer doesn't baulk, circling your shoulders, his breath tickling your ear where you squish your face against the collar of his sweater. The fabric bites your skin, a wicked heat returning to line your lashes. 

Your back shakes under Spencer's hand.

"I know," he repeats, rubbing your back. "It's okay, Y/N, I promise. He can't hurt anyone else, ever again." 

It doesn't make the crime any better. It won't bring back the girl you lost. And it can't erase the agony of knowing you failed her. 

Spencer starts to talk. Simple facts, explaining grief. When we cry, it releases oxytocin. You feel better afterwards because of the chemical effects. 

When you eventually do calm down, head pounding and chest aching, Spencer helps you clean the tear stains from your cheeks with a pocket pack of tissues, and you know it isn't the oxytocin that made you feel better, just a really caring man. 

"Thank you for dealing with me. I know this wasn't even the worst thing we've seen, but I–" You clear your throat, determined not to cry anymore tears until you're back home. "I couldn't stop seeing her hand. I can't remember my hand being that small anymore." 

Spencer gives you a smile. It's far from happy, a flat line with the slightest curve at the corners. "Some things are hard to forget. And we shouldn't forget them. But we have to keep going so we can balance it out. Or at least that's what I think." 

You hug him quickly. "Thanks, Spence." 

His hand twitches against the small of your back. 

[supernaturalscribe67]

Lucky

Words: 4,699

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Dean/Sam Winchester x Trans!FTM!Winchester!Reader [Platonic]

Warning(s): Mention of surgery, references to top surgery recovery, slight gore (maybe?), language (also, maybe?), loving and supportive family members, fluff

Summary: Top surgery was never something the reader thought was possible. With the help of Sam, he was able to make his dream come true, and his brothers are there for him to help while he's in recovery.

Request:

I would absolutely love Dean and Sam with a younger trans brother who just got top surgery and is in recovery? Just fluff of like helping him wash his hair or getting things for him and reassuring them? Love your content so much!! It so nice to see some more trans content in the supernatural fandom :)

@cometcreates

A/N: I am so sorry this took a little longer to get out than I planned - work has been extremely hectic and draining recently - but I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Much love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

People define luck in many different ways. Some say luck is a dollar bill lying on the ground, some say it’s a passing grade once they get their tests back, and others say it’s their true love. (Y/N), however, would define his luck as waking up every morning in the Men of Letters bunker with his brothers. 

Years ago when he came out to his older brothers as transgender, although they were a little confused at first, they were fully supportive. They did everything in their power to make sure that their little brother was comfortable, not only in their home and out in public but in his skin as well. They purchased a binder for him, got him better clothing, adjusted rather quickly to his name and pronoun change, and got defensive - sometimes a little too much - whenever someone misgendered him. With all that they were doing for him, (Y/N) couldn’t imagine how luckier he could get. He already had an amazing support system, what else could he need? 

At the end of last year, Sam approached him and asked him if he had been wanting to get top surgery, something they had talked about once or twice, but never regularly. When (Y/N) showed his interest in getting the surgery, Sam told him that he had done some research about different places where he could potentially get the procedure done, as well as all the criteria that certain places needed for him to qualify. After they sat and talked for a while, they concluded that, with Sam’s assistance, they would get started on (Y/N)’s journey toward top surgery. 

The months following consisted of semi-monthly visits with a psychologist Sam found in Hays, KS - all of the medical professionals required a steady diagnosis of gender-dysphoria from a registered psychologist to be able to consider the patient for the operation - as well as reading up on the aftermath of the surgery and what was to be expected. Of course, (Y/N) knew he would get all of the information from his surgeon before it was done, but he wanted to make sure he was well-informed and nothing was left out of the consultation. 

The consultation went well, and, after waiting for an eternity in the examination room, the doctor finally came in and set up the date for the surgery. (Y/N) was over the moon, and he immediately began to count down the days. Sam and Dean helped him get all of the necessary items he needed for the surgery recovery; various snacks, scar care creams, a surgical binder, a mastectomy pillow, and an extremely cozy blanket that he had begged them to buy. Even after they had gotten everything on the list, occasionally, they would buy something they thought would be beneficial for the recovery period. 

Then, they waited. Day after day went by and (Y/N) found it difficult to focus on hunting rather than the anxiety and anticipation that bubbled within him, but his brothers kept him grounded in times of distress. They could tell just how excited he was, and they never wanted to dampen the mood by turning his focus back on the job. They wanted him to keep that enthusiasm even after he had the surgery. When the day of the surgery came, they didn’t even try to calm his excitement. Just seeing how happy he was made them feel the same. 

The surgery went well. The recovery was going to be the hard part. The doctor made sure to prescribe him pain medication, which the brothers had picked up before they left the surgical center to head back to the bunker, and gave him a pamphlet describing all of his recovery needs in grave detail. Of course, they had already been well-prepared for the occasion, but it was nice to have it on hand. (Y/N) stayed in the hospital under observation for two days until he was finally released, clad in nothing but a pair of shorts, some slides, his surgical binder, the drainage tubes and bulbs connected to each incision underneath the binder, and one of Sam’s flannels that rested against his shoulders, keeping the front open to allow his chest to breathe. After he was wheeled and loaded into the back of the car, the three brothers made the drive back home. 

By the time the Impala edged its way into the well-lit garage, the sun had gone down, and the night sky was littered with stars. It wasn’t a long way to Lebanon from Kansas City, about five hours depending on traffic, but the trip wasn’t entirely painless. (Y/N) was thankful for the medications he was given after his surgery, but the bumpy backroads in Kansas were ruthless and did little to provide a comfortable drive home. He initially tried to sleep through the journey, but every pothole they hit - accompanied by an apology from his oldest brother - sent another wave of discomfort coursing through his chest. He had never felt more joy in his entire life than when he saw the familiar dirt road as he and his brothers got closer to the bunker. 

Dean parked the car and killed the engine. He turned, arm draped over the back of the front seat. “You feeling okay?” He asked. 

(Y/N) glanced over at him and gave a small nod. He adjusted himself and winced as the pain shot through his arms and chest. “Just sore, hurts like hell. When am I due for my next round of meds, Sammy?” He turned to his older brother in the passenger’s seat. 

Sam looked back at him for a moment and then down at his phone screen. “You should be able to take some more now. Why don’t we get you inside and into your bed first? That way we can get you something to eat and drink with your medicine.” 

“No food,” (Y/N) groaned. “I don’t feel like eating now.” 

“You have to eat something.” 

“Fine, I’ll eat some crackers, or something small, or one of those snack cakes I got, but I really can’t eat anything filling right now. I’ll eat some more in the morning when I’m feeling better.” 

“Alright,” 

“Now, can someone let me out? These doors are surprisingly heavy.” 

“Yeah!” Dean said, quick to jump out of the car and head towards the back passenger’s side. He opened the door and held out a hand. 

(Y/N) smiled weakly as he reached over and grabbed Dean’s hand. He was slow to move out of the seat and plant his feet on the ground. When he stood, his legs shook, but he let out a sigh of relief. His legs were weak. The recovery had consisted of laying in his hospital bed and, occasionally, getting up and taking a few steps inside his room, just to keep the blood flowing in his legs. With the lack of energy he had and the five-hour ride back, his legs felt completely numb, as if they were made of Jell-O. 

Dean held (Y/N)’s hand tightly while his opposite arm wrapped around his waist. He moved him away from the car and shut the door. The two of them made their way to the bunker door. Sam jumped out of the car and caught up with them as they walked inside. When they were greeted with the metal stairs that landed in the War Room, (Y/N) stopped. He let out a sigh of defeat. 

“This is going to hurt like Hell,” he mumbled. He reached a shaky arm over and grasped the railing until his knuckles paled. 

“We’ll take it slow,” Dean nodded softly. 

(Y/N) returned the nod and they began to walk down the stairs, one step at a time. The entire time they walked, Dean held onto him tightly, both of their eyes cast down towards the steps. Each step, despite the snail’s pace they walked at, made a jolt of pain shoot through (Y/N)’s back. A pained expression crossed his face multiple times as he pressed his lips together tightly. 

Finally, they reached the bottom of the stairs and another contempt sigh left (Y/N)’s lips. Sam brushed past them. 

“I’m going to grab your crackers and water and meet you in your room, okay?” He placed a gentle hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder. 

“Sounds good,” (Y/N) flashed a thumbs-up towards him before Sam walked down the hallway, toward the kitchen. 

(Y/N) was a little quicker when they walked through the halls, and he was thankful when they reached his room. He wasted no time parting himself from his brother and making his way over to his bed. Despite his shaky legs, he held himself up well. He turned on the lamp on his nightstand, illuminating the room with a faint yellow glow. 

His bed was neatly made with multiple pillows resting at the head - the doctor recommended that he slept elevated for the first week or so and then slept on his back for several months afterward. It would be an adjustment, but (Y/N) knew that he could get used to it. 

He climbed into his bed, careful of the collection bags on his chest, and crawled underneath the layers of blankets. Instantly, he relaxed into the plush mattress, head resting on the stack of pillows behind him. Dean waltzed deeper into the room, eyeing him carefully. 

“You okay?” He asked. 

“Better now that I’m in bed,” (Y/N) looked over at him. “Although it just feels like I’m in another hospital room.” 

“At least you won’t be eating any more hospital food,” 

(Y/N) grimaced. “Don’t remind me of that, I’ll throw up.” 

Sam entered the room, a bottle of water in one hand, the white bag with (Y/N)’s prescription narcotics tucked under his arm, and a small sleeve of saltines in the other. He set the water bottle and saltines down on the bedside table and opened the bag. He took out the orange pill bottle and fished out an oval-shaped white capsule. He handed it to (Y/N), who took it gratefully. He popped the pill into his mouth and drank some water to wash it down. 

“You should probably empty those soon,” Sam said, gesturing towards the bags that rested against (Y/N)’s stomach. 

(Y/N) glanced down at them and shook his head. “The doctor said every twelve hours should be good. They changed them right before I left the hospital, so they should be fine for right now.” 

“Alright, if you say so,” Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you need anything? TV? Books? Some snacks?”

“I’m good, thanks. I think I’m going to catch some shuteye for a bit. That car ride took all the energy out of me.” 

Sam nodded and turned to walk towards the door. “If you need anything, let us know.” 

“I will, don’t worry.” 

“Seriously,” Dean piped up. “If you need anything, even if it’s small, just holler or shoot us a text.” 

(Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle. The overprotective nature of his brothers was something that never changed. “I promise I’ll call if I need anything.” 

Dean and Sam both gave him a small smile before they turned and left the room, closing the door behind them. (Y/N) marveled in the silence. No nurses walking outside of his room, no snoring from his brothers on the pull-out beds, no heart monitors beeping constantly. It was peaceful. He reached over and turned off the lamp light, flooding the room, once again, with darkness. The darkness was something he missed. He would never take his pitch-black room for granted ever again. 

He awoke six hours later, around the time when the medication began to wear off and the pain resurfaced. He had tried to reach over to the nightstand and grab the pill bottle, but his arms were too stiff. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, a grunt falling from his lips. The pain wasn’t as bad as it had been the day after surgery, it was mostly the sore tenderness he felt in his chest and back that bothered him. When his feet touched the floor, he was able to lean over and grab the pill bottle with ease. He uncapped it, took out another capsule, and popped it into his mouth, followed by a drink of water. The medication would start working in twenty minutes or so. 

The ache wasn’t only in his chest and back, however. As he downed the water, he felt it fall into his stomach. A gurgle sounded from his gut and he placed a hand over it. He probably shouldn’t have taken the medication on an empty stomach. He needed some food. For a moment, he considered the saltines on the bedside table but quickly tossed out the idea. They didn’t sound as appetizing as they had before he went to sleep, and even then he had only accepted them to make his brother feel better. He wanted some real food. He wanted some of the snack cakes that he got for the occasion. The real question was; could he get up and walk to the kitchen by himself without bothering his brothers? It was still early, so they were most likely asleep. They had been with him the entire time he was in the hospital, and he wanted to make sure that they got the sleep they deserved. 

(Y/N) placed his hands on his knees and let in a deep breath, his eyes falling closed for a second. With a quick exhale, he hoisted himself off of the bed. His legs quivered, and he had to reach back towards the bed to steady himself. After he stood for a couple of minutes, the blood seemed to flow back through his legs. They were unsteady, but less than they had been before. He shuffled his way towards his door and opened it, glancing up and down the hallways. He then made his way towards the kitchen. The sound of his stomach growling echoed throughout the corridor. 

“Damn, I’m getting you food, calm down,” (Y/N) mumbled to himself. 

It took a lot longer for him to get to the kitchen than it had taken to get to his room the night before. He was slow, uncomfortably so, and he hated it. He felt like an old man. At least I’m an old man without tits, he thought. 

When he got into the kitchen, he walked over to the pantry shelves and glanced up. Sat on the second highest shelf were the cupcakes that he had been craving. Those delicate, chocolatey, packaged goodies. They were teasing him with the pictures on the front of the box. He wanted one so bad, and he couldn’t even reach them. He could barely lift his arms enough to reach the shelf directly in front of him. He tried to scour the shelf in front of him for something that sounded at least a little bit appetizing, but nothing made his mouth water as much as the soft, chocolate cakes near the top of the pantry. 

Curse you, Hostess. 

Just as he was about to give up and pick something from a more accessible shelf, the sound of padded footsteps echoed down the hallway. (Y/N) turned his head towards the door as Sam entered. Sam furrowed his brows. 

“Hey, what’re you doing up?” 

“Oh, the pain medicine wore off, so I took another one. Plus I’m starving,” he then turned his gaze back to the cupcakes. 

“Do you want me to make you something for breakfast? I can make scrambled eggs.” 

“Sure,” (Y/N) shrugged. “But…I really…want a cupcake.” 

“For breakfast?” 

(Y/N) looked back at Sam. His bottom lip was pushed out in a small, child-like pout. His eyes were big and his brows were tilted up slightly. It was his own signature puppy-dog eyes. Sam’s puppy-dog eyes were good, but (Y/N)’s was better. Those eyes were the reason behind him getting to pick a place to eat or what movie they watched most of the time. 

Sam sighed as he walked over, grabbed the box of cupcakes, and ripped it open. He took out a package and handed it to (Y/N). (Y/N) beamed and ripped the plastic open. He took a big bite of the cupcake and hummed happily. 

“Ok, you have your cupcake, but I’m still going to make you some scrambled eggs. You need to have some real food in you.” 

“Cupcakes are real food, Samuel. Maybe you’d be happier if you ate one once in a while.” 

“And maybe you’d be happier if you ate healthier.” 

(Y/N) stuck his tongue out at Sam. Sam rolled his eyes and smirked before he walked over to the fridge. Meanwhile, (Y/N) trudged over to the table and sat down. 

“You should probably change your bags soon,” Sam said. 

(Y/N) glanced down at the bags and noticed that they were halfway full. He cursed under his breath. “Let me enjoy my cupcake and then I’ll empty them.” 

“Do you need help?” 

“Nah, I got it, thanks, though.” 

Sam smiled and nodded. Without hesitation, (Y/N) shoved the rest of the cupcake in his mouth, a hum of pleasure emitting from his throat. Sam grimaced and turned away. (Y/N) glanced over at him. 

“Don’t judge me,” he mumbled with a mouthful of food before he stood up and made his way to the bathroom to drain his bulbs.

Three days had passed, and (Y/N) had already started feeling better. His movement had increased, the pain was starting to diminish, and the fluid that filled the bulbs slowed. His mental health had noticeably improved and every time he looked in the mirror, admiring his newly sculpted chest, the smile would never fail to stick to his face for hours on end. One thing that he didn’t like about the recovery process though, something that stayed a consistent issue, was the lack of personal hygiene. 

When his doctor told him that he wouldn’t be able to shower for a while after the procedure, he didn’t think that it would affect him as much as it was. Granted, he still took whore baths, using a damp washcloth and some soap to clean his body off the best that he could, but he could still feel the grime that coated his skin. Specifically, his hair was what bothered him the most. It was wet with grease to the point where it could stand up without any assistance from haircare products. (Y/N) felt disgusting. He needed to get his hair clean, quickly, and he couldn’t do it by himself. If he leaned over too much, the strain on his chest would cause the pain to flair up. He needed help. Sam had been busy researching and assisting other hunters who had called while the brothers were on a break from hunting themselves, so (Y/N) went to the next best person.  

(Y/N) knocked on Dean’s door rhythmically. A faint ‘come in’ sounded from inside. He opened the door to see his brother on his bed, lying on his stomach, eyes glued to the television screen in front of him. 

“Hey,” Dean said with a smile. “How’re you doing, kiddo?” 

“Pretty good. The pain’s not as bad today. I was wondering if you could help me with something, though.” 

“Sure,” Dean reached over, grabbed the remote, and turned off the television. He shifted himself so that he was sitting down on the edge of the bed. “What do you need?” 

“Can you wash my hair for me?” 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to shower yet.” 

“I can’t get my chest wet, but I can clean the rest of my body. I’ve been taking whore baths for the past couple of days, but I haven’t been able to get my hair cleaned. Could you help me with that?” 

Dean hummed and pursed his lips. “Yeah,” he said as he stood up. “Meet me in the bathroom, I’ll be in there in a bit.” 

(Y/N) didn’t wait in the bathroom for long before Dean rounded the corner, a chair dragging behind him. He placed the chair in front of the sink and gestured to it. 

“Sit,” he said. 

(Y/N) awed. “It’s like a trashy hair salon.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled. He grabbed the shampoo and conditioner from the bathroom cabinet as (Y/N) sat down in the chair. He leaned his head back so that it rested against the cool basin. Dean walked over to the sink and glanced down at his head. He grimaced. 

“Damn, kid, you definitely need to wash that hair.” he reached down and touched a lock of his hair, wincing as he pulled his hand back, studying the sheen that the hair left on his fingers. “Ew.” 

“Thanks,” (Y/N) deadpanned. 

Dean smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you all cleaned up.” 

Dean turned on the hot water, the spout shooting out the liquid into the sink. Dean began to run his fingers through (Y/N)’s hair. (Y/N) instinctively closed his eyes. Dean wet his hair, pouring the water over the locks with his cupped hands. 

(Y/N) could remember the last time he went to the hair salon. He was young, around the age of six, and Bobby had taken him to get his hair done. Even though Bobby seemed uncomfortable the entire time he was there, he wanted to make sure that (Y/N) had a somewhat normal childhood experience. (Y/N) was ecstatic, and enjoyed every minute of the haircut. His favorite part, however, was when the stylist was washing his hair. It was something about the way her fingers caressed his scalp, massaging the product into the roots of his hair, that brought an overwhelming sense of bliss. Dean’s fingers weren’t as gentle and soft as the stylist’s, but he sure knew how to give a good head massage. 

Two fingers gently tapped against the side of (Y/N)’s head. He opened his eyes and looked up at his brother. He hummed in acknowledgment. 

“I said ‘Do you like it’?” Dean repeated, a smirk curled into the corner of his lips. 

(Y/N) slowly nodded. The suds dripped down from the side of his head and caressed the outside of his ear. “Feels nice. You should have gone to cosmetology school.” 

Dean laughed. “I meant your chest. How do you…feel now?” 

“Oh,” (Y/N) let out a short laugh. “Honestly, I feel great. I don’t have to bind anymore, which means I won’t have to worry about hunts and catching my breath. I no longer have to worry about if clothes will fit me because of my chest. I don’t look in the mirror and hate what I see…” his voice trailed. “I look in the mirror and I see me. The me that I was supposed to be.” 

The two of them were silent for a while as Dean poured water over his hair, washing out the soap. His fingers caressed the back of (Y/N)’s scalp, watching intensely as the conditioner ran down the drain. 

“You know, if it makes you feel any better, Sammy and I always saw you as our little brother. I mean, you never really did all that girly crap - makeup, playing with dolls, stuff like that. You were always interested in playing with the mud. The amount of times that you would get in trouble with Bobby because you would bring mudpies into his house, or whenever you would track mud inside when it was raining. He got so pissed,” he chuckled, and (Y/N) joined him. 

“But then you got older,” he continued. “And it started to seem like you weren’t really my brother. But…something wasn’t right. I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Calling you my sister felt wrong. I started calling you my little brother again whenever I told people about you, and then it felt right. When you told us you were transgender, it all made sense to me. It clicked. You never really were my little sister. You were my little brother, just with a few extra parts. Now that you got your surgery, I can see just how happy you are. How comfortable you are, and that means more to me than anything else.” 

The conditioner was gone. (Y/N)’s freshly washed hair laid against the basin. Dean reached over to the cabinet and grabbed out a small hand towel. He ruffled the towel against (Y/N)’s damp hair, making sure to get all of the water off of the side of his face and his ears. When his face was dry, he helped him sit up. 

“And me seeing you like this, I have never felt more proud of you,” Dean concluded. 

(Y/N) glanced up at Dean, brows raised. His wet hair dripped onto his naked shoulder. “Really?” He asked in a quiet voice. 

Dean smiled softly. “Yeah. I’m proud that you told Sam and me how you felt. I’m proud that you got the courage to go through with the surgery, and,” Dean knelt in front of the chair. “I’m proud to call you my baby brother.” 

A lump had formed in (Y/N)’s throat. His eyes glimmered with tears that pooled in their corners. Without saying anything, (Y/N) reached forward and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, pulling him into a loose embrace. Dean placed his hands on (Y/N)’s back and smiled into the hug. 

“I owe you and Sam so much,” (Y/N) spoke softly. “You guys take such good care of me.” 

“You don’t owe us anything. That’s just what big brothers are supposed to do.” 

“Not even if I bake you a pie?” 

“Now, if you decide to bake a pie, I won’t turn it down,” Dean pulled away and held his hands up. 

(Y/N) sniffled and wiped the tears away. “I should make Sammy one of those fancy salads he likes.” 

“Oh, he’ll go crazy for that,” Dean mumbled. “Him and his damn rabbit food.” 

“You go crazy for pie, though.” 

“Yeah, but pie is good. Actually good.” 

(Y/N) rolled his eyes, causing Dean to chuckle. Dean stood up and brushed his jeans off, stretching his arms above his head. 

“What do you say we get Sammy and go watch a movie?” Dean asked. 

(Y/N) smiled. “I’d like that.” 

“Great! You go get Sammy and I’ll get the snacks.” 

Dean turned and jogged out of the room. (Y/N) stood and tilted his neck from side to side, noting the small strain in his muscles. (Y/N) grabbed the back of the chair he had been sitting in, but stopped as he saw himself in the reflection of the small mirror. His eyes scraped over his body, from his head down to his exposed hips. He shifted so that he could see his torso from the side.

It was almost as if he was in a dream. Like, at any moment, he would blink and wake up in his bed with his breasts still attached to his chest. For years, he had been wanting to get top surgery, but it never seemed like something he was able to achieve. Never in his wildest imagination did he see himself standing in front of a mirror and feeling proud of the body that he stood in. He no longer saw the body of a woman, the man he was trapped inside and desperately attempting to claw his way out. He saw a man, who he truly was, the real (Y/N) Winchester. 

And as he stared at his chest, a smile appearing on his lips, the words Dean spoke echoed in his head;

I’m proud to call you my baby brother.

Now, (Y/N) Winchester could confidently say that he was the luckiest man alive.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 229

So... Kind of gave myself an anxiety attack.  Opened my current master doc (for those who are curious, this story fills 3 documents to the point of locking up my computer. Insert eyeroll here), and only saw this week’s chapter in the outline.

Scrambling to write the next chapter within the next week is NOT how I want to this to end. Everyone has been so patient with the chapters where I had to do that, and I. Am. Not. Ending. It. Like. That!

And then I saw that I just hadn’t added next week’s chapter to the outline. So all that frustration was for nothing.

This week’s recognition! Obviously @baelpenrose for sticking in here so long... geez it’s been years. @gingersnap126126, welcome aboard! @dierotenixe, because I can’t not appreciate Nixe... A character so incredible I had to figure out how to put a mermaid on a space ship!  And this week’s recognized speed runner, @mike-ks-66502-blog. As of posting you are up to chapter 53 as far as I am aware, but quite possibly beyond that, because every time I turn around you are 10 chapters past where I thought you were.  I am SO happy that you are enjoying the story... please feel free to tell me who your favorite character is so far!

Edit: And @mustachebatschaos... omg how could I forget!  You literally changed the entire course of this story!

Parvati and I were finalizing the phrasing on the dispatch to the ship and about to send it over to Hannah for one last check, when the pilot team suddenly started swearing loudly.  Launching to my feet, I saw everyone else was doing the same. “Maverick, Tyche, what - “

BLAAAT.  BLAAAT.

Klaxons started sounding, forcing me to cover my ears. “What is going on?!” I shouted.

“Weapons fire!” Evan yelled as she strode into the center of the room. “Firing from the Eko-mari fleet, away from the Ark!”

Over her shoulder, I could see Maverick slamming himself into his seat and pulling down the restraint system. “Noah! Turn that damned sound off, dude! No one can hear directions over that racket!”

My ears rang for a moment at the quiet before I was brave enough to remove my hands. They weren’t completely off, but at least quiet enough to talk over. “Parvati, start pulling up maps for people on recreation,” I ordered before trotting over to Tyche, who was swapping places with Evania. “Can you keep sitrep running with Xio?”

“On it,” she nodded. “Maverick and Evania are prepping for manual piloting and getting a better view of the field.”

“The Eko-Mari are firing at what appears to be a cloaked ship,” Noah announced from above. “Nothing indicates anything has been hit.”

Charly was halfway to the exit before she realized she had to stay put. She started pacing frenetically and held her hands to her ears. “Coffey, Nixe, we need Teeth in suspension yesterday. The Eko-mari are firing at something, and we think it’s the S’crirs or one of the other pirate ships. They have a right to know, but be prepared to sedate them.  If they leave that medbay, there’s no telling what they’ll do.”

“Alice! Are the checks done!?” I shouted, turning back towards the pilots.

“All…. most…. YES!”

“Conor!” I shouted into my databand. “Escort Derek to the nearest med bay - wait, no. Signal Sam to see which one he is closest to, then Derek to that medbay.  Bonus points if it’s - ” I cut off and whipped back around to Charly. “Twelve?”

“Twelve!” she shouted back before continuing to issue orders.

“Bonus points if it’s twelve. That’s where Charly’s family is. I’ll signal Simon and let him know, see if he’s close enough.”

“Do I need to come in and get Derek?” he asked, his tense enough that I knew he was ready to force the door if he had to.

“Noah should let him through without issue,” I responded, walking as briskly as I could without jogging to where Derek had squatted against the bulkhead, hands over his ears. “Hey,” I said softly, line still open and unmuted. “Conor is going to take you to a medbay with Sam, so it’ll be quiet. All you gotta do is make it to the door. I’ll walk with you.”

He nodded, so overwhelmed by the sudden noise and all the shouting that signing was out of the question. Instead, he rose to his feet and walked around the hand I held out.

Okay, no touching, got it, I thought, instead just making sure to walk where he could see me and getting him to the exit as quickly as possible. “Connor, we’re here.”

The door started to iris open, and before it was even halfway there, a hand thrust through with a pair of noise canceling headphones. “Here, bud.” When the door opened completely and he could see my confusion, he gave a short laugh. “When you said I may need to escort Derek away, I went and grabbed them just in case.”

“Good call,” I approved softly before handing the headphones off to Derek and kissing Conor’s wrist. “Be safe,” I whispered. “Charly filled in Nixe and Coffey, so they can give you the details.”

He dragged my hand up and kissed my palm before sweeping his arms wide to create a buffer for Derek. “Let’s go. Same drill as always - if you need to grab my shirt to stay close, go for it. I’ll big-guy my way through the crowd.  Hell, if we run into Jokul, we can practically create a bubble.”

Derek weaved past me, hands trembling while he tried to sign. “Jokul big,” he said, nodding that it was a good thing.

“Yeah he is! And he’s almost as scary as Tyche when he tries.” Conor carefully escorted Derek around the curve in the corridor. 

A high-pitched, semi-hysterical giggle echoed eerily behind them, and I forced myself back to the situation at hand. “Status?” I asked as calmly as possible.

“Additional shots fired, still none have landed,” Tyche rattled off. Her hands flew in a bizarre combination of dancing and conducting. “But the area is getting more focused, and if they hit one of the pirates, we’re going to be in a tough spot.”

“Evan!” Xiomara barked. “Which side of the ship is the fleet firing from?”

“Port, thirty degrees from our x.”

“Charly! Is the S’crirs on that side?”

Charly scrambled to contact, but received no response. Her eyes widened. “I am taking that as a yes.”

“ ‘Sorry, we can’t talk right now, we’re being shot at by your stalkers’ is pretty universal,” Arthur agreed. “Evan, Tyche, anyone with an engineering degree - how hard would it be for us to veer to starboard, and are micro jumps a thing?”

“Incredibly, and not for the Ark,” Tyche droned, focused on her invisible screens. “We may be able to drift pretty hard that direction, though.”

Before anyone could think of any other options, I saw Maverick brace himself and nod once, barely visible over Tyche’s shoulder. “Hold on to your butts, we’re bowling for buzzards!”

I had just enough time to splay flat on the floor before the entire Ark pitched hard to one side and dropped out from under me.  Vibrations rattled through the deck and into my teeth for several minutes before the rocking and falling feeling stopped.

Rolling to my side, all I could do was gasp desperately for air while screeching came over the speakers. “Hujylsogox Vessel Yjq! You have declared an act of war against the Galactic - “

“Our sincerest apologies,” Noah’s voice cut them off. I realized, not too far behind nearly everyone else, that Noah was playing the audio solely for our benefit. “We were attempting to maneuver away from the threat you detected, in the event of stray return fire. There is still a partially healed breech in the hull on the port side, and we cannot risk our cargo being exposed to vacuum. We were unaware it could be taken as an offensive maneuver, as we only detected debris in the navigatory direction.”

“THAT WAS OUR FLEET!”

A quick tap to my ears showed no blood, and the resultant ringing was significantly less annoying than Tea-Kettle’s shouting, so I just rested my cheek against the floor.

“We only detected debris,” Noah repeated distantly. “Threat assessment indicated that the asteroids would do less damage to the Ark than stray fire, with eight nines of certitude.”

A very muffled, repulsive noise filtered through my poor hearing. “Your unapproved change in course has damaged several of our vessels. You will return your ship to its correct bearing, immediately, and schedule the Yjq for maintenance once this folly is concluded.”

“We fear the Yjq may need to be decommissioned due to age, but will take your assessment under advisement,” Noah agreed before cutting audio.

“The Ark is returning to original heading,” Maverick announced. “On auto-pilot, so to speak.”

“Pilot Okima, there is nothing automatic about how I navigate the Ark, especially when you have created such stress on the drives,” Noah scolded.

“You’re more automatic than I am. And the drives shouldn’t be too bad off - I used the forward momentum to make the curve.  No braking, I swear.”

“Our ideas of breaking are very disparate.”

Everything settled into a kind of dull roar, and I started pushing myself up from the floor. I managed to get on my hands and knees before scuttling to a table for leverage. “Why is this in the same spot?” I wondered inanely.

“It’s part of the deck,” Tyche groaned as she forced herself to her feet.

Awesome. Good to know.

“I have the S’crirs!” Charly screamed. “Noah, can you patch them through so we can all hear them!?”

Rather than the buzzing answer I expected, a mellow alto voice started. “ - for the distraction your people provided.”

“This is Xiomara Kalloe. Do you know how they found you?”

“Warrior Kalloe, one of our tugs experienced a drive malfunction and the captain would not abandon their freight. It is shameful.”

“Far be it from me to reprimand someone trying to ensure they get paid,” Xio assured. “Are your people safe?”

Brol’s baritone filled the air next. “All who were willing to abandon the tug have been evacuated, yes. Any vessels able to do so have relocated to follow in the wake of the Ark.”

“Can you send Charly the current locations of your ships along with expected flight paths?” Maverick called out. “I don’t want to bump into anyone, and we’d all be grateful to know how badly the birds are aiming.”

“Who is speaking.” Ix’al wasn’t asking. She was demanding.

“This is Maverick Okima, human pilot, Your Grace. Consort to Sophia Reid, and one who loves Teeth as my own.”

Consort? I mouthed, scowling.

He grinned unrepentantly and wiggled his wrist at me.

His message was waiting for me on my datapad. “They’re matriarchal, and I’m not arguing with someone big enough to kill me by accident.”

“This will suffice.” Hell, from Ix’al it was a glowing approval. “Are any other humans piloting, or are we to give you sole credit for such…unexpected maneuvers?”

“Evania Josue, Xiomara’s second, is also piloting. Tyche Reid - “

“Charly and Sophia, you neglected to inform us that your other sister is a pilot.”

“In training,” Tyche offered, fighting a feral smile. “I am navigating, currently. When Miys is not.”

“Well met.” The filter over Brol’s voice sounded like it was laughing, which I took as a good sign. “And this Evania Josue?”

“Evan, sir and Grace,” she responded for herself. “I… am not directly affiliated with Teeth’s family.”

“She stabbed you, Ix’al,” Charly added to the utmost horror of several of us. “She’s the one who removed - “

Shouts attempted to drown her out. I stared down Xiomara and did my damnedest to develop telepathy so we could figure out where to hide Evan. Pranav actually tried to tackle Charly, but failed horribly when he underestimated her agility.  The antics drew everyone’s eyes to Charly, thankfully, so we noticed when she stopped dodging and just pointed up.

That’s when we heard it.

Ix’al was laughing.

“Oh, the one who gouged out her ears!” the alien Queen crowed. “Yes, you were quite fierce! Has your leg healed fully?”

Evan’s eyes widened and she instinctively bent her left leg a few times before rubbing her thigh. “It aches now and then, but I am far fitter than I would be without the Ark’s technology.”

“Scars are trophies that last the rest of our days,” Ix’al advised.  I could almost imagine her nodding.

Pranav brushed off the front of his shirt nervously, and rocked his head side to side. “Your Highness, my apologies for the interruption. I am Pranav Ranganathan, head of data security and programming.”

“The clever one who stole the squeaking vermin’s data, yes. We recall.”

He ran a hand over his scalp in relief. “We believe we have a possible weapon to assist you. How secure is this communication?”

“As secure as it can get with pirated technology and a theoretically mythical being hiding the data,” Charly answered.

“Quite secure then, superb.” Another inch of relaxation hit him. “We solicited the population for ways to block the fleet without killing them all, to ensure we were doing the right thing.”

Brol spoke up. “Yes, a rare act of conscience for a predatory mammalian species.” A thumping noise broke through before he spoke again. “Xale, do not pretend offense. You have often chided your sister for the same thinking.”

Pranav looked confused until Charly whispered something in his ear. She must have explained Xale’s job and relationship to Teeth, because he nodded in understanding. “One of our own provided an idea that we only feel confident in half of, but it is a half that you can leverage.”

Grey, in a rare moment, raised their voice. “Pranav, biological warfare, even under the GeeCee, is considered a war crime.”

“Of sorts,” Brol agreed. “There are exceptions, but your tone indicates that this is not one.”

“It is not,” Pranav confirmed. “But that isn’t the half I’m talking about, thankfully. Derek, our…. Our Teeth, if you will allow the comparison, has suggested a computer virus.  He has even supplied the code within the proposal.  Can we send it to your people, with the express advisement not to actually run the code outside of a sandbox?”

After a brief but heavy silence, Brol spoke again. “And this is the half you are not concerned about?”

“Correct.”

“May we ask what the half you were rejecting involved?” Ix’al broached, tone more curious than cautionary.

“Oh, sending over a load of Terran bacterial infections and viruses,” Pranav assured. “I do not approve of bioweapons, however, so I would never relay such a suggestion.”

Splashing overruled any attempt at a response from the S’crirs end, before the line went suddenly quiet. Charly glared at Pranav in accusation, but he only held his hands up and shook his head. “I said it was off the table!”

“The line is not disconnected,” Noah advised. “Merely silenced temporarily.”

“Sorry,” Charly whisper-shouted at Pranav, who nodded in acceptance.

“Our apologies,” Ix’al’s voice broke through. “We needed to calm Xale. Xe once contracted a Terran sinus infection from Teeth and was comatose for several months.”

Tyche’s head whipped over to me, and I couldn’t blame her. My eyes crossed as I stared at my own nose in accusation. Months? Really? I had been prone to sinus infections my entire life… Poor Xale.

“At least they were comatose through it,” I thought out loud. “They’re hell to be awake for.”

“We will run the program in a sandbox,” Brol advised in a rush. “If Terran computer viruses are anything like their biological ones, a quarantine is simply a prudent measure.”

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[dransnakearts]

THIS IS EGG. I LOVE HER

Bracchus belong to @lorwolfofficial

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 27 March 1832: SH:7/ML/E/15/0045

8 ¾

12 ¼

- Let[ter] fr[om] L[ad]y Gordon (Garnestone Hereford 24th  inst[ant]) - 3 p[ages] - fine morn[in]g F[ahrenheit] 62° at 10 in my r[oo]m and 60° at 10 20/: in the blac[on]y - L[ad]y G- [Gordon] h[a]s settl[e]d h[e]r Spanish affairs b[u]t yet hopes to see Sp[ai]n ag[ai]n one of these days - Cosmo to ha[ve] a 5th. share as partner and she tho’ having nothing to receive for eight years has nothing to pay - L[ad]y G- [Gordon] wr[ite]s in good sp[iri]ts - chol[er]a is in Paris, b[u]t this will n[o]t prev[en]t her go[in]g there - we are to settle our plans ‘seat[e]d und[e]r the large tree on the top of the hill in the jardin des Plantes’ ‘and God willing we will see some curious scenes together before we die’ - all in the mind to agree and half sorry at being at all hampered with Miss H- [Hobart]  br[eak]f[a]st at 10 20/: Mr. Wooll ca[me] to measure my b[oo]ks for a box to pack them in and L[ad]y Anne Scott call[e]d ab[ou]t 12 1/2 for ab[ou]t 20 min[ute]s - till then Miss [Hobart] and I had got into talking she not liking my so thorough change reminded her of what she had said last Sunday week   I could understand her marrying but in no other case could I relish her fancy fancying anyone more than myself if there was any change of our ever living together   it seems she has ssome thought she may marry we got on very well till I made some unlucky remark on this subject and she was in tears and I sorry till we w[e]nt out a lit[tle] bef[ore] 1 for an h[ou]r - (Miss H- [Hobart] and I) w[e]nt to Woolls, saunt[ere]d a lit[tle] in the Lond[on] r[oa]d and in front of the Croft and there she took courage to be conciliatory to say she liked me very much and in substance that if she did

SH:7/ML/E/15/0046

not always ssay what I liked  she was afraid to say too soon what might be repented of  afterwards   perhaps that was unkind   no not at all said I understand you your reason is i[n]telligible and I am satisfied  she was pleased to see me take it so well and suffice it to say we became good friends and afterwards went on comfortably and I said I should write differently to Lady G- [Gordon]  from what I had intended and merely say we would settle all in  London I see Miss H- [Hobart] thinks me too old for her I said ten years   but the fact is she likes me or at least does not like the idea of my too easily slipping thro’ her fingers   I become calmer and calmer  resolved and more and more able to look to my own interest   providence orders all things wisely  I will wait patiently the event doing the best I can for myself   but let me keep my heart  aloof and give it less hastily in time to come   I will be rather more liant to Miss H- [Hobart] but after all she has cured me more than perhaps she wished or intended -

asleep in my r[oo]m fr[om] 3 to 4 -

then in 35 min[ute]s wr[ote] the ab[ov]e of today - at 4 20/: turn[e]d to my let[ter] to M- [Mariana] 2 p[ages] writ[ten] on Sun[day] and

near[l]y 1 writ[ten] yest[erday] morn[in]g - do n[o]t like h[e]r to th[in]k my health so m[u]ch the worse for

Hast[in]gs - ‘you are right - I sh[oul] be bet[ter] for 2 or 3 w[ee]ks w[i]th you at Lawt[o]n; b[u]t I can[no]t manage

it now - the bug-bus[ine]ss does really stick terrib[l]y in my throat, in spi[te] of all y[ou]r good reason[in]g

ab[ou]t it - yet ev[e]n if I c[oul]d get it digest[e]d so soon (and y[ou]r infl[uen]ce w[oul]d be all pow[er]ful) still that

w[oul]d n[o]t get rid of the oth[e]r diffic[ultie]s, Shibd[e]n and the carr[ia]ge duty concern - I shall be ver[y] ver[y] sor[ry]

if I do n[o]t see you; b[u]t, at this mom[en]t, I see lit[tle] chance of our manag[in]g an[y]th[in]g like a comf[orta]ble

meet[in]g - the obstac[le]s are fearfully strong on y[ou]r side, and mine too’ - can[no]t get off fr[om] here till the

23[r]d Ap[ril] and shall be oblig[e]d to go to Lond[on] aft[e]r all; for tho’ L[ad]y G- [Gordon] and I ha[ve] been ‘writ[in]g ab[ou]t our

plans; b[u]t it will be decid[edl]y  best to talk them ov[e]r’   I m[u]st be in Lond[on] on the 25th next m[on]th and embark on the 29th

wheth[e]r L[ad]y G- [Gordon] can be ready or n[o]t - determ[ine]d n[o]t to lose the duty

on my carr[ia]ge aft[e]r all the poth[e]r ab[ou]t it - ‘yet the n[o]t see[in]g you will be a gr[ea]t disapp[ointmen]t, a

real afflict[io]n; and the near[e]r the ti[me] co[me]s, the mo[re] I shall feel it, and be irresolute’ - b[u]t hope to

see h[e]r on the oth[e]r side the wat[e]r    ‘It ab[ou]t six m[on]ths s[in]ce I saw you - So[me]how or oth[e]r, I can[no]t

fancy I shall be ver[y] m[u]ch long[e]r bef[ore] I see you ag[ai]n - Mary! I am poth[ere]d ab[ou]t ho[me] concerns, and

can neith[e]r do wh[a]t I wish, or wh[a]t I ought - B[u]t, in the midst of all, the conclud[in]g part of

y[ou]r let[ter] ma[ke]s me laugh - Miss H- [Hobart] ta[ke] up her abode w[i]th me! n[o]t that I kno[w] of or expect -

Do you n[o]t rememb[e]r wh[a]t I ha[ve] alw[a]ys told you? - H[e]r health once reestab[lishe]d, and I count

up[on] her companion[in]g hers[elf] ver[y] diff[erentl]y’ - L[ad]y S- [Stuart] h[a]s been ill - b[u]t is recov[ere]d - is 8 or 9

y[ea]rs young[e]r than my fath[e]r and may ha[ve] sev[era]l comf[orta]ble y[ea]rs to co[me] - can[no]t settle an[y]th[in]g w[i]th

L[ad]y G- [Gordon] in Lond[on] - all this talk[e]d ov[e]r w[i]th M- [Mariana] when I saw h[e]r last, that she kno[w]s up to this

ti[me] as m[u]ch as I do - ‘I cert[ainl]y do wish so[me]th[in]g w[a]s settl[e]d - b[u]t being impat[ien]t does no good; and I

ta[ke] th[in]gs as they co[me], ver[y] quiet[l]y - I th[in]k of noth[in]g as fix[e]d, b[u]t my go[in]g to Paris in the 1

st

inst[an]ce’ - 10 days

quarantine, b[u]t comf[orta]ble temp[orar]y hot[e]ls to perform it in - finish[e]d my let[ter] last 1/3 of p[age] 3.

and long ends and und[e]r the seal sm[all] and close - tell her to ta[ke] care of hers[elf] and wr[ite] me cheer[in]g let[ter]s

I can[no]t bear to th[in]k of n[o]t seeing you ag[ai]n bef[ore] I go - and yet wh[a]t can I do? all my consolat[io]n is, that

all h[a]s been talk[e]d ov[e]r - noth[in]g left unsaid - and if there be an[y]th[in]g new that c[oul]d be add[e]d, perh[aps] it is

that I hope I shall nev[e]r repent the decis[io]n that my a[un]t hers[elf] made, and the break[in]g up our estab[lishemen]t in

Paris - B[u]t this is qui[te] bet[ween] ours[elves]’ ment[ione]d McD-‘s [Macdonald] go[in]g to leave my a[un]t on acc[oun]t of her (McD-‘s [Macdoland])

health - and that they ha[ve] h[a]d the cholera in Paris these 2 m[on]ths - at 5 50/: s[e]nt off my let[ter] to Mrs. Lawt[o]n

Lawt[o]n hall Lawt[o]n Cheshire - wr[ote] 1 p[age] to my a[un]t - dress[e]d - din[ner] at 6 3/4 in 40 min[ute]s - coff[ee] at

8 - won 1 and lost 1 hit at b[a]ckgam[mo]n - fr[om] 9 3/4 in an h[ou]r r[ea]d al[ou]d fr[om] p[age] 101 to 140 ch[apter] 59 vol[ume] xi. Gibb[o]n

ca[me] upst[ai]rs at 11 10/: and to my r[oo]m at 11 1/4 -

very good friends   she asked me to give her a half hoop ruby ring perhaps we shall now go on very well   I have no inclination to teaze her with caresses and ‘tis well -

fine mild day

b[u]t ver[y] lit[tle] sun aft[e]r 11 or 12 in the morn[in]g F[ahrenheit] 63° in my r[oo]m at 11 3/4 p.m. and 41° at 12 in

the balc[on]y - L[ad]y Anne Scott s[e]nt us this ev[enin]g to look Withering’s bot[an]y by MacGillivray 1 vol[ume] [octa]vo cloth

pl[a]tes 10/. - seems useful, and easy, and element[ar]y, and suffic[ientl]y portable

[sugarysymbiote]

➡️ SWIPE TO SEE PRETTY PINK SYMBI KICKSTARTER REWARD ITEMS! ➡️ Hello everyone, I hope that you all are doing well and staying healthy! 💖 A few of the Symbi Kickstarter rewards came through the mail, so here's a look at some of the featured items pledged by my backers! The whole shipment hasn't come through yet and is still processing but I am so glad to have at least received something to show you all and to give a proper update! Symbi has been finished and they're preparing to ship! Soon my work space will be taken over by a whole hoard of pink goo bears. 💖🐻 The skirt featured here with a KS exclusive shirt is a sample for a new Symbi collection coming soon! 💖 ------- 💖Some updates!💖 Kickstarter rewards will not start shipping out until after all items have been received and accounted for, and I'm also working on special packaging for the rewards as well. Things are still being shipped and processed as we speak but alas, the speed isn't the best due to our global pandemic. I know that you have been waiting patiently for your Symbi goods to get to you and I promise that the wait will be worth it! Expect things to start being shipped around early September at the latest 💖 ---- Due to 7 backer pledges being dropped and never received, I am considering on offering kickstarter Symbi packs for sale on my webshop for those of whom missed out on participating and wanting any exclusive KS goods, to make up for those dropped pledges. I won't be posting them for sale until AFTER all current rewards that have been pledged have been shipped out so it'll be a while before that happens, but please look forward to it! 💖 Have a good day everyone, and stay kind and healthy!~ #sugarysymbiote #artistsoninstagram #symbithebearcub #yumekawa #yamikawa https://www.instagram.com/p/CCmpm6vj9py/?igshid=pez10ubba49e

[elvensemi]

Y'all know me. I work hard, I buy a BTS ticket, I go, I die. It’s my cycle. I had a great time at the MetLife concert (wish I had time to go to the second one, real glad I’m not putting my very patient friend Skylark thru that again), despite a few uuuh snafus. At the end of the day, BTS had a great time and that’s what matters.

And also I was like ten yards from superheroes and that is also what matters.

But first, let’s have an injury sound off! I’ve got sun poisoning (which I didn’t get in SF despite being there in September with no sunscreen), wickedly painful sun burn, a scraped knee and bruised knee cap, back pain that can only be described as legendary, and every single muscle in my body aches (including muscles in the front of my shin where I did not know I even had muscles). I currently walk like a disabled penguin. I also definitely caught something (or am allergic to something in Sky’s house) so I’m gonna be real careful on the plane tomorrow.

All in all, pretty good. My knee came out TWICE at the Oakland concert and we wound up having to get security golf cart driven to our pick up point. I was in better health for this one, and thank god.

So how, you may ask, did I manage to get sun poisoning? Well! That’s kind of the staff’s fault, or whoever planned the BTS studio’s fault. See, they had us waiting on black asphalt in direct sunlight for SEVEN HOURS, almost completely unmoving. Everyone standing near me wound up pretty sick and extremely burnt, dehydrated, and malnourished. At one point over 200 people (hence the problem, I suspect) were just flat out sitting and laying on the black top. You could practically hear us sizzling.

So the problem was definitely that they gave out WAY too many QR codes for the BTS studio. There was supposed to be enough time for all the QR codes and the first 200 people in line. A line which started when gates opened at 10am. But QR lines took priority, so we had hundreds and hundreds of people zooming past us while we sat almost completely unmoving for hours. They also just sort of kept letting people in because their friends were in line so the damn line probably went from 200 to about 250-300.)

Credit to the staff of the booth itself, who I believe were given way too many people to process in 7 hours. They did let us leave to pee and come back, which everyone used to go to the merch line instead (lol).  Despite how busy they were, they threw no one out and processed all of us even tho they were working right up to the wire to do so. And after about 5.5 hours of line, when multiple people were actively passing out a bit, they got frantic and figured out a way to move the remaining, shorter line into the back of the tent. It got us out of the sun and was honestly an indescribable relief. They also gave us cold mediheal face packs to put on our faces and cool off some.  

But despite that, I got all the merch I wanted, a picture with Jeon Jungkook: Hologram AU (a story which someone has probably written), and a concert seat so close that I made direct eye contact with Taehyung and survived. Other highlights include all the amazing people I met, especially the guy in the seat next to mine who let me use his portable phone charger; seeing 90% of Jimin's entire nude chest from about 20 yards away at direct eye level (I SAW HIS TATTOO IRL GUYS, THIS IS HOW CLOSE I WAS AND HOW MUCH SKIN WAS ON DISPLAY), at the end of the concert when Suga had us scream as loud as we could and just took his ear piece out and closed his eyes and basked in it and looked like he was having an absolute soul-changing experience (permanently seared in my mind, what I see when I close my eyes, hope it stays forever lol), Jin crying (how is he so BEAUTIFUL) and his emotional speech which RM kindly translated for us, briefly meeting the woman who designed the BTS light stick (holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck also she gave me a new one for free bc mine was defective), and also a million details I can't think of right now and would take too long to type anyway.

Tomorrow I'm hopping on a plane. I'll be gone until Friday! There will be a Curious update 5/25, a sneak peak posted that same day hopefully, and a KS chapter posted on 5/31.

Thanks to every single one of you who sent in commission money, it was because of you that I was able to do this and it was one of the best days of my life.

[kurou3gi-blog]

How do you sure what action is their real action and what action is their script?  That the question. Idk anymore. If ji can easily do fanservice to man and woman like he doing lately. All we had seen from kd can also be a lie. Idk... but i'll go away. Ji and ks and kd arent health for me anymore. So this is the last time im sending you a ask. Thanks for your kindness in your answer.

What you think it easily but it not mean someone just do it because it easily and something not easily like we see... 

Sometime when you on the risk time even we don’t want to do that and we know it hard to do... But for safe our life or someone life we only do it even it can damage us.... 

Even lie ourselves to be someone that not us for our success.....

I think you are lucky to not meet that experience....

Sometime some of us had a life time like they in the saw game...... They can only accept even they hate it.....

Tbh before I ship them I thought same like you that every ship are fake, they did it only for fan service. I think it’s ok to scream for their moment but no need to ship them like fc and don’t believe that it’s real. And like I used to say more than once that because I knew about bxb fanservice strategy in entertainment industry since the late of 1990 era and this is why I not ship every ship even some of my friends was shipper and they hard tried to drag me into their ship until I watched ton of kadi fancam bts clips.....

In my life time since I was young I saw what happened with global artists especially in western, jp and my country....  Some case some actor is gay but he could do even had girlfriend to safe his popularity... He lied that actress and it end in short term that some of us knew because she knew he cheated her and he decided to move to a foreign country before they can’t cover it and wait more than 5 years until my country not anti lgbt like before to coming out....

And some case some company can do even fake their idol profile to make us hype their idol personality and that idol accepted to deal and did it like it easy to do but at last after that company not re-contract it end with we knew they are liars and that company not responsible and said they was cheated by that idol too even we knew that idol no power to cheat the one of big companies...

So I not trust in what I see from artist much at the start and accept only their live voice and performance not include their personality except some of their suck habit....

And yes even I said I believe kadi is real but I thought at the start after I sure to jump into this zone that maybe it end with bad end and it’s only 0.01% to get the good ending.... It’s hard to see good ending for a strange couple in their country culture eyes. And easy to turn into wtf way by what around them with every minute even they are real.....

But why I still stayed until now even we see only the thing that break our hope into zero..... Because it is still possible, even if only 0.01%... It’s like a gambling....

But I think it's worth taking risks... Even it may full of patient and sad at last.... 

And like I said in some of my text that I no wonder much if some of us can’t stay anymore.... No need to lose your mind with this suck thing and like I said that it’s good time to say goodbye. No one can blame your decided. It easy to bring us down XD Like someone say love and like is natural toxic XD

I think everyone can choose what they want if they have chance. So no waste your time to hesitate.

But I'm glad to see you sent the goodbye message to me.

Good luck my friend ^ ^/

P.s. Sometime if now ji is ji at the beginning why esm and he just wait until now to show a thing like that.....

About their nude rate show.... All of ekso now no one below 25 years old.... It’s a time to coming of middle mature age not a 18 20 21 youth years old.... Especially rabbit jm who stay at the eldest member point now. He is 28 even he not looks like that..... And we see his 6 packs since long time ago but why they chose to troll a kind of that solo perf to him now? Even we see other bb tried to show their 6 pack like this before ekso include it with the one of show not special edition show anymore....  And if we think about how long and how many that lay had shown his nude body after his first solo album.... But ekso....

Sometime I feel like ji shy to show his nude alone.....

About that clingy ji....

If he like this at the beginning why he wait until 7 years after that issue to show that habit to us? I think we and they know it’s a top moment that we hope to see from our beloved idol.....

I feel like at first they don’t want to do a thing like this but no choice....

I still think about jm action while his latest ig live.....

You can think he shouldn't choose this method and I think he may not choose like this at first... But after he think about blablabla things..... I no wonder much if everything can be like this....

And I still think of when ji cried after ekso first won and taem tried to record ji’s crying face with his mobile phone and ji tried hard to hide his face......

Although how cy showed his 6 pack on tempo mv that made me think maybe I can also see 2 (hun&kai) of them with nude top too at first time....

Maybe before we see a thing like this....

How much he had lost his soul in the past.....

[bluefurcape]

When It Rains

This was a prompt from @itslulu42 on discord and I don’t think you’ll remember giving it but I started immediately then forgot about it. Then I came back to it and my note on it said “Smooth jazz kakashi” and I of course had to start back in bc I needed to know what happened next. 

I think the prompt was something along the lines of Amnesia, but instead of angsting Kakashi keeps hitting on Sakura. Part one of...three maybe. And vaguely i mixed in a KS Month prompt but now it’s too late and guess i’ll just die.

Haruno Sakura had known Kakashi since she was twelve years old. And he had known her since he was…well, she wasn’t exactly sure how old he was, since he never divulged that. The only reason any of the former members of Team 7 Kakashi knew his birthday was the success of an elaborate ruse enacted a long time ago, involving Icha Icha, balloon animals, and a knife.

Kakashi smiled at her without recognition, his eyes crinkling pleasantly. From his bed, he looked around the hospital room and the people gathered with mild curiosity. There was a faded yellow bruise exactly the size of an egg on his forehead, an injury that Sakura had healed only moments ago. Despite the stifling heat of summer outside, the air conditioning kept the room comfortably cool. The sweat that had dampened her clothes on her walk over to the hospital was almost making her chilly.

She took a deep breath, recounting the facts as they had been told to her, because she was having trouble processing. “Kakashi and Gai were doing one of their stupid bets.”

“Right,” Shikamaru said.

“And they were climbing Kakashi’s face on the Hokage monument,” she continued and he made a noise of confirmation. “They saw a nest of what they thought was a rare extinct bird and decided to check it out.” Slowly she began to shake her head. “The rare bird has an ability to take away memories. Kakashi and Gai forgot who they were and fell off the monument. The only reason they’re still alive is because you were nearby, playing hooky, and you managed to shadow grab the two of them.”

Shikamaru nodded.

“And how did Kakashi get this enormous welt on his head?” she asked.

“He may have bounced on some rocks before I got to him.” He looked away, shrugging in feigned innocence. If he thought that Sakura would reproach him, he was wrong, because Kakashi definitely deserved more than few knocks to the skull. Especially for this particular mess.

“Shikamaru?”

“Yes?”

“This is really bad.”

“I know, Sakura.”

“Really, really bad.” Sakura began to pace the length of the room, from the window to the opposite wall. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting when she received the urgent summons on her day off, but it wasn’t this. “So unbelievably bad. The Kage coalition arrives today. They’re going to be expecting Kakashi to be making a speech in a week. He can’t make a speech when he’s a drooling idiot!”

“Hey, I’m not drooling,” Kakashi piped up, highly offended. In a lower voice, he asked, “I’m Kakashi, right?”

She was somewhat relieved that he could still talk. All the stupidly vacant smiling was giving her suspicions otherwise. As a test, in case this was some kind of elaborate joke courtesy of Shikamaru, she asked, “Do you know who I am?”

“No, but I’d like to,” he responded automatically.

Her jaw dropped and then she shut it. “Excuse me?”

Shikamaru cleared his throat, but it sounded more like strangled laughter that he choked back down.

“My priorities are a little off here, but would you be interested going out to dinner with me?” Kakashi asked.

“Ask me again when you get your memories back,” she said flatly.

“Well, that’s very good motivation.”

Sakura turned to Shikamaru and widened her eyes. She knew something had been up when Kakashi and Gai had been admitted to the hospital and no one was allowed to treat them or see to them until she personally arrived, even though she had not been actively treating patients, except when her expertise was required, since her promotion to medical director. Her mind had reeled with worst case scenarios, disembowelment, lost limbs, broken spines. Instead, she walked in and Kakashi waved to her, a nasty welt on his temple, but otherwise whole, according to her diagnostic check. Gai was in the same state. Physically, nothing was wrong with either of them, they just had the misfortune of running into a magic memory thieving bird.

“You weren’t called in just to check on his health,” Shikamaru said, leaning against the window sill. “The Council is giving you an assignment. Obviously, we need you to monitor the Rokudaime in case his condition deteriorates. The second thing is that you need to try and jog his memory and bring him back.”

Her instinct was to question the choice. He had been her captain and they had an easy relationship, but she barely knew him. Kakashi kept his secrets close and it made small talk with him a bitch, because he apparently considered everything a secret. Still, she understood the reasoning behind the assignment. Kakashi didn’t have any family left. His father had passed when he was only a child. His mother, even earlier. As far as she knew, he had no relatives in Konoha who could tell him familiar stories. Naruto was often away on high ranking missions and there was no telling when he would return.

She turned to Kakashi, who was watching her with a smile. “I’ll try my best,” she said doubtfully. She glanced at Gai. “What about him?”

“We thought it best to allow him some recovery time before calling in Lee.”

“…Good idea.” This would devastate Gai’s protege. A volcano of emotions was surely waiting.

#

“Ha-ru-no Sa-ku-ra,” Kakashi said, as if the syllables of her name were a song. He grinned, pleased with himself.

“Right. And your name is..?” Sakura gestured to him in encouragement.

“Uh…”

“Ha,” she prompted him with the first sound of his clan name.

“Ha…Ha…Haruno Kaku?”

“Hatake Kakashi,” she corrected patiently.

“I would much rather be Haruno Kakashi.”

She flushed, her face heating. “Well, you aren’t.”

“But there isn’t a Mr. Haruno Sakura around, right?”

Sakura bit her lower lip, trying not to laugh. Ever since he’d become her charge, the flirting had been incessant. She figured the magic bird had affected his impulse control in some way. However coming from him, the cheesy lines were actually kind of endearing. “No. No there isn’t.”

He nodded innocently, sitting primly on the ancient sofa in his apartment. His place was unsurprisingly neat, though all of the pieces of furniture looked at least a decade older than her, edges worn away and colors faded. It was also definitely a bachelor pad in every sense of the word. A narrow twin bed, suitable for one and only one. A closet full of the same articles of clothing.

When she entered the kitchen, she found a single set of utensils, a mug, a bowl, and a plate in the cupboard. Just to have something to do, she placed the kettle on the stove anyway to make some tea. One of them could use the bowl to drink out of. Did he never have people over? She tied up her sweaty hair and wished silently that she could at least take a shower. The council had laid down a strict water ration due to the extended drought this year. Bathing was restricted to about fifteen minutes and the mandate encouraged the villagers to go a few days in between. Her stink wasn’t too bad, as far as she could tell, but she missed standing under a nice stream of water and forgetting about the world.

She leaned against the counter, wrapping her arms around herself, feeling hopeless. She didn’t even know where to begin.

“Does any of this ring a bell?” she called out. All of this was a shot in the dark. Bring Kakashi to familiar places and see if anything happened was her general plan. She hated it because she loved real plans. Strategy with complexity. Tasks that could be conquered. Instead, she floundered, coming up with ideas on the fly.

“Nope,” was the cheerful response. At least he was taking this memory loss business in stride. If it were her, she would be freaking out at being completely untethered.

The kettle whistled and she poured the hot water out into the mug and the bowl. From one of the cupboards, she dug up a dented box of genmai and added the tea bags, letting the tan tendrils swirl. There was a solitary tray of ice in the freezer that she took a few cubes from, because she simply did not feel like drinking hot leaf juice in the middle of a drought. Out of curiosity, she checked the bottom part of the fridge too. A nearly empty carton of eggs and an old box of take out greeted her. The inside was bare bones. She was finally getting a glimpse behind the walls that Kakashi maintained and rather than a suave, older man like she had been half expecting, she was getting a sense of just how alone he was. Guilt twisted her lips into a frown. She could claim that she hadn’t known, but that was just an excuse. Her own life was a little more than she could handle. Late night shifts. The constant fires that needed to be put out. Kakashi had been there, quiet in the background, and her attention had glanced over him and determined him a lesser priority because honestly, he seemed fine.

She brought the tea over to the living room, offering  Kakashi the mug and taking the bowl for herself. He accepted the beverage then looked back at her and said, “Now, I know I don’t have any memories, but is it customary to drink from a bowl?”

“There weren’t any other cups,” she explained as she curled herself into the armchair perpendicular to the sofa.

“Hm. Okay.” He lowered the hospital mask and took a sip. When he noticed Sakura’s blatant stare, he cautiously asked, “What?”

Even without his memories, Kakashi had chosen to continue to wear the mask. He didn’t seem to notice it or question why he was wearing one.

She caught a glimpse his long, straight nose and lips that lifted in an easy smile. She was almost upset that she hadn’t known before that every time he shot a grin at her, the mask had hidden a set of slightly crooked teeth and a chipped canine that she found unnervingly charming. She wanted to cradle his face in her hands.

Part of her resisted telling him, craving the pleasure of simply seeing him. But it was only right that she tell him, rather than let him go on and act in a way that he would resent her for later. “You probably don’t know this, but you never show your face to anybody,” she said calmly, hiding the giddy urge to get on her feet and dance in her own personal victory.

He hummed to himself and tugged on the elastic strings of the mask hanging around his ear. “Never?”

She nodded her head.

“Is it because I’m ugly?” he asked, touching his lower lip as he frowned.

“No!” Her response was a little too emphatic, even to her own ears.

“Ah. Good.” He smiled again and her heart beat faster.

She was unused to feeling this way around him and she was both curious and disconcerted. To distract herself, she leaned over to the side table and picked up the only two photo frames that Kakashi seemed to possess.

The older one was a photo of his team when the Fourth had been his captain. It showed a young Kakashi glaring at the camera, standing next to a dark haired boy in goggles. The Fourth stood behind them, his hands affectionately ruffling their hair. The last member, a young girl with short brown hair, beamed in the front. She couldn’t help but notice the similarities between this photo and the other one, which was of Team 7 in the early days. A nostalgic smile played on her lips.

“Who are those people?” Kakashi peered over at the photographs.

“Your friends…” she responded tentatively, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

…those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.

“Oh. Are they still around? Maybe they can help me get back my memory.”

She hesitated. She’d heard rumors of what had happened to Kakashi’s old team--none of it sounded happy. The dark haired boy must have been Obito, who would become the same man that Kakashi had thought dead and carried guilt over for decades. In a twist, Obito had turned out to be alive during all of that time, but even that was complicated and…he certainly was gone now. Of the four people in the photograph, Kakashi was the only survivor. Painful trauma didn’t seem like the best place to start with his memories.

She held up the photo of Team 7 instead, hoping that he wouldn’t notice her deliberate omission. Team 7 had gone through it’s own troubles, but the ending was happier. At least they had that. She pointed at their younger selves with exaggerated enthusiasm. “That’s you and me. The blond one is Naruto and the scowling one is Sasuke.”

“Sasuke looks like he has a stick up his ass,” he commented immediately.

“An accurate assessment.” She snorted. “You were my teacher and then later, my captain. Do you remember?”

He scratched his chin in thought. “Teacher, huh? That doesn’t sound right to me.”

“On the first day I met you, you were very late, fell for Naruto’s stupid trick, and told us that you hated us.”

“Yikes.”

“And then you had Naruto tied up because he tried to cheat.”

Kakashi squinted at the picture. “Naruto’s the blond one, correct? The one who looks like he hasn’t realized that he’s crushing on the other one?”

Sakura blinked and looked for herself. “What.”

“How long ago was this picture taken?”

“Ten, I think.”

“So, are they married now? The hate sex must have been good.”

Her cheeks flushed. She did not want to think about two of her closest friends getting it on! “Gross. They aren’t together and you’re not allowed to talk about them like that. Sasuke is on some kind of redemption quest and Naruto is on a long term mission to the east.”

He made sarcastic air quotes as he said, “’Redemption quest.’”

“This isn’t working, let’s move on,” she grumbled.

[kyouryokusenshi]

Oxytocin

Authors: KS & MF @marinafrenzy

Summary: June 2018 XF PB on tumblr, prompt #50, S11 pregnancy sex with Scully on top

Note: Big thanks to our awesome beta, Steph, for her quick turnaround on this piece!

******

Tagging: @today-in-fic @xfpornbattle

From his side of the bed, Mulder watched lazily as Scully stripped off her satin nightgown and waddled towards the bathroom. He heard the plinking of bottles, followed by the zip of her toiletry bag closing.

The muffled sound of water hitting the shower floor filled the bedroom. Scully had just entered her third trimester. Showers for two would soon be a thing of the past. He pondered his next move. God, why was he even hesitating? He swung his legs out from under the covers and made a dash for the door.

Clouds of steam had taken over the bathroom. The shower heat was turned up to the max. Mulder dropped his boxers to the ground, kicking them across the floor in the general direction of the laundry basket.

“Hey there,” he whispered easing the shower curtain open.

“Jesus, Mulder. You startled me.”

“Sorry,” he replied and stepped in behind her.

He deposited a quick peck on her cheek before proceeding to wrap her rounded belly like a support belt, lifting the baby’s weight off her back.

“Hmmm this is nice,” she said.

She relaxed her shoulders and settled her aching body against his chest. She’d been dealing with lower back pain more often lately, something about her organs shifting and her uterus expanding, she’d explained. Warm soothing water poured over their bodies. They stood there holding each other without the need for words.

Scully leaned back her head against Mulder. Her wet hair tickled his neck, sending little shivers up and down his spine. She was growing it out again. He missed that long hair of hers. Some say you’re either a breast man or an ass man, and Scully didn’t disappoint on either front, but long-haired Scully did things to him. Mulder shifted slightly to adjust his growing erection snuggly between them.

“Mulder, what are you…?”

“Shhh,” he hushed and reached for the bottle of body wash. He squeezed some of the creamy substance onto his hands then lathered her shoulders.

“Let me take care of you,” he said as his hands moved to knead the soft tissue around her neck. Scully moaned and her right hand disappeared between her legs. Mulder’s view was limited, but he had his imagination, and there were also memories. Vivid images of Scully’s fingers making their way to her wet folds, her index finger drawing slow circles across her clit, flashed in front of his eyes.

He rubbed the deep muscles in her shoulders, his fist and fingers mirroring the circular motions of his daydream vision. After a few minutes, he sensed the tensions in Scully’s back dissipate, and his own circulation increased.

Hard and pulsating with anticipation, he rocked his hips against her small fame, careful not to throw off her balance. Scully moved to cup her left breast with her free hand. Gently she traced her thumb around her nipple until it formed a perfect little pink peak.

Mulder rinsed off the leftover body gel from his hands. Scully’s moans were growing louder and he wanted in on the action. He started pumping himself. Long, strong up-and-down strokes built up his pleasure. Too much too soon, he thought.

Mulder exhaled and softened the three-finger grip on his cock. He took a step to the side. Once within reach, he slapped his penis against her waist.

“Mulder!” Scully let out a surprised giggle. Her upper teeth biting down on her lip, she tilted her head to grin at him, a mischievous look in her eyes.

She stopped touching herself to bring both of his hands up to her chest. Nestled warmly in his palms, her breasts felt round and heavy. Last he’d heard, Scully had grown two cup sizes and she still had eleven more weeks to go before her due date.

“The water is getting cold,” she whispered between rapid breaths. A shiver travelled across her shoulders. The water droplets running down her neck sparkled like little crystals. He scooped them up by running his tongue across her cooling skin.

“We should have gotten the fifty-six gallon water heater,” he said smiling.

Scully turned around to face him. Her bump hit his erection, sending it wobbling in front of him like a jelly. Mulder chuckled at the silliness of the moment. He looked down at her. His wife. The mother of his children. She was so beautiful. The blue of her eyes was even deeper in the dim ochre light of the shower. He placed a kiss on her mouth. She parted her lips to invite him in. The lukewarm water from the shower mixed with the heat of their tongues. He would have stayed longer, cold water be damned, but she pulled away.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” she said pressing her hands against his chest, just firmly enough to nudge him out.

******

The shower had worked its magic. Well, the shower and Mulder’s hands, Scully corrected herself. When she walked out of the bathroom, relaxed and smelling of her Jasmine-Coconut body wash, Mulder was already waiting for her in bed. He had those dark eyes that screamed sex and made her inner thighs twitch with need.

“Come over here,” he said patting the empty space next to him on the mattress.

She stripped off her cotton bathrobe.

“I’m having déjà-vu,” he noted, and his eyes followed the trajectory of her robe as it joined the satin nightgown on the floor.

Naked, Scully began a slow walk to the bed. After a few steps, she stopped to take in the sight.

“You look comfortable,” she teased. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

Mulder had propped himself up with all their pillows. Leaning back against his little makeshift mountain, he looked effortlessly attractive. His forearm was tucked in behind his head, his right hand massaging his erect penis.

Watching him lie there, exposed, Scully suddenly fancied herself a hungry lioness. She wanted to pounce. Her growing belly would get in the way though, so she compromised. Carefully, she climbed into bed, making long strides with her arms and legs. Like a cat circling its prey, she straddled Mulder’s thighs.

“Touch this,” she hissed and lifted his right hand from his cock to her breasts. He let out a surprised breath but did not dare disobey.

Still on top of Mulder, she shifted right then left to get comfortable. She had really popped this last month. There was no getting around it; she’d have to let her bump rest on the smooth skin below his navel if she was going to lead this ride.

She leaned forward for a kiss, but quickly found herself pulling at his lower lip instead. Each time she rolled the soft skin through her teeth, she tugged a little more forcefully.

“Good evening to you too, beast woman,” he whispered.

Mulder responded to the attack on his lip with a quick succession of bites to her neck and shoulders. Scully gasped, and her body shook with pleasure. She didn’t let him get the better of her though, and quickly straightened her shoulders to resume her commanding posture.

“Grab my ass,” she ordered while raising herself onto her knees.

She placed one hand on his shoulder to steady herself. With the other, she guided him to her and eased herself onto him. She raised and then lowered herself, repeating the motion until she felt the initial tightness subside.

“You feel so good,” he said.

“Hmmmm,” she moaned.

Once she found her rhythm, she began to rock back and forth, rubbing her clit against his skin with each push of her hips. Underneath, Mulder was bucking into her, both hands firm on her behind. Twice, he almost slipped out of her but caught himself in time to thrust back stronger and deeper, causing her to arch her back and moan.

“Oh god… Don’t let go of me,” she urged. Her grip on his shoulders intensified and her nails scraped the surface of his skin.

Suddenly, Scully was thrown out of sync by a kick to her ribs. The baby’s movements heightened her awareness to her physical state. She was pregnant. She was fifty-four and pregnant.

Thoughts of darker times came rushing through her mind. When they first moved to the unremarkable house in 2003, she told Mulder she missed motherhood. He never asked her if she wanted another child, but he also never asked about birth control. For a decade, they lived in uncertainty, not really trying for a baby, yet not preventing it either. Patiently, she waited. Then the darkness pulled them apart.

“Something on your mind?” He asked out of breath, slowing his pace. His hands moved to caress her back. He brushed her skin lightly and she purred under the warmth of his finger tips.

“I’m fine,” she responded and plunged in for a kiss. It had taken them a couple of years to find their way back to each other, but their lives were destined for the same path. The tiny heart beating a hundred and twenty beats per minute inside her womb was a daily reminder to never give up on a miracle.

“I’m more than fine,” Scully murmured. She cupped his face to gaze into his eyes. They exchanged smiles, and then resumed their vigorous rocking.

There was a curious erotic purity to pregnancy sex, she thought, as their bodies moved in rugged unison, hers leading the way in the chase for release. Her biological imperative to procreate fulfilled, she could finally enjoy sex for its own sake. No more prayers, no more silent waiting, she’d beaten the odds.

Rocking back and forth and up and down, she held on to Mulder for support. Her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave. Long and high. She fell against his chest, legs spasming, and arms like Jell-o. Her eyes opened just in time to witness Mulder’s own dive into the ocean of sweet deliverance. His eyes rolled back in his head as he thrust inside of her one final time. Holding him in her arms, wet and sticky from their lovemaking, she inhaled his animal scent. He moaned her name and nuzzled his nose against the crook of her neck. She pressed her pregnant belly hard against his body. The life inside of her stirred and she breathed out a soft chuckle. She felt powerful. She was free.

[gloves94]

White Holes [Cassian Andor] [6/10]

Warnings: Language Pairings: Cassian Andor/OC Summary: Captain Cassian Andor was an Officer of Rebel Intelligence for the Alliance. An emotionless tool. There was nothing more to his life than following orders and working for the Resistance. Hell! His only friend was an Imperial droid named K-2SO. So what happens when he is struck by a love at first sight and meets Dr. Lya Stryker? Will their story has a happy ending? (CassianxOC)

My fanfiction: M A S T E R L I S T

A whole new set of trainees were arriving at Yavin 4. Supporters of the Rebellion and the cause everyone had pledged their lives to. Cassian observed them. Most were children. Barely over the age of 14. Each one of them traveled from beyond the reals of the galaxy to provide their services to their cause against the Empire. Striving mechanics, soldiers, technicians, fighter pilots, and medics all crammed the main building of the headquarters. The base's commander greeted each one of them and dismissed them to a post. Today would be the day that Lux and Adair graduated from Dr. Stryker's training. They weren't quite ready to be professional medics yet; however, they had graduated from their mentorship. They would now serve to check up medics. They would assist doctor's and keep busy with clinic hours aiding those with malaise and minor injuries, then work their way up the ladder. "I'm proud of both you," Lya said looking at both of her apprentices her violet eyes reflected the pride she felt for them. "I am more than certain that both of you will be excellent medics, and don't be strangers. I'll still be around the base." She smiled at both of them. Both smiled back at her, the young couple held their hands with their fingers intercepted. Both were either very brave or very stupid to show their affections in public. The Doctor was so caught up in the moment that she failed to notice someone bump into her from behind almost making her fall over, "Excuse me," the voice retorted sarcastically. She merely glared at the man who walked away; there was plenty of space for him to walk around. That had been so unnecessary.

"I don't like that new doctor," said Adair, Who eyed the man suspiciously with his dark eyes. There was something- odd about him. "He's in charge of the clinic right? So we'll be seeing plenty of him," chimed Lux. "What's his name again?" "Dr. Aztin Cyder. He was transferred here from the base in D'Qar," Lya spoke not removing her eyes from the creature's back. He was a Khajiit from a distant galaxy. A brown, copper colored lynx with humanoid features. His eyes were the color of ambers, and every inch of his body was covered in thick fur, he even had a long tail which crept from under his lab robe. Feeling the glares from the other medic his long whiskers twitched and he turned to glare back. "Unfriendly creature.…"Adair muttered under his breath, "I hate cats." "Dr. Stryker," a young male Togruta approached the trio. Colorful tones of lime green marked his skin and his large montrals and head tails were white and a grayish shade of blue. His eyes were a matching shade of ocean blue. "You must be Seena N'Aviid, correct?" The doctor greeted the young man politely. Behind her stood another human young man. "And Forrest Ramsenn." "You're the new interns correct?" Dr. Adair Habibt acknowledged them. The medics all became acquainted with each other. Lux Nova and Adair had no problem filling them in with their new tasks and duties and showing them the strings around. "I'll be in my office getting some paperwork ready for you, come to meet me whenever you're done socializing. Doctors," She excused herself acknowledging the new position of her former apprentices.   "Dr. Stryker seems alright," Seena commented. "She's strict, very hard working, but she makes sure you learn. After all, we play one of the most important roles in the Rebel Alliance's task force." Their eyes trailed the Doctor, that's when they saw it. "Adair. Str-Andor interaction at 3 o'clock," she spoke in an excited tone. The interns all eyed the doctor confused as she crossed paths with the tall, dark man. Both of their expressions remained stoic. Their eyes didn't even meet. They continued their way as strangers. "Such a shame those two didn't work out," Lux sighed disappointedly. "I wonder what happened that night they both left together, he still seemed interested in her and well the Doctor, her behavior is very unpredictable." Adair pondered. Both of the interns had witnessed the beginning, and quick collapse of their mentor's relationship with Captain Andor and both were eager for something to blossom, however, to their disappointment their relationship instead wilted. XXXX Lya closed the door behind her and leaned against it. In her own blessed privacy, she pulled out the small note from her lab coat's pocket. 'That cat touches you again. He's going to make a nice fur rug.' She couldn't help but chuckle at Cassian's note. It was scribbled in his own messy handwriting. It was a simple gesture, regardless she treasured it. Both had decided to keep their relationship under the wraps. It was what was best for both. 

Besides, it was nobody's business. 

Cassian was a spy. Thankfully, discretion came easily to him. Lya on the other hand- she still had some work to do. He was so good at what he did she barely even noticed that he had snuck something into her pocket until later. 

It was only a while later that Dr. Stryker's newest apprentices joined her in the office. She spoke little with the two young men and got to know them some more. Seena seemed optimistic and eager to learn, he had a lot of energy and wanted to focus on treating burn victims. Forrest, on the other hand, was composed and analytical, his hazel eyes were sharp, and his interest lay in surgery. She could see that both had potential. With a quick nod and many forms and papers signed she dismissed them for the day. Lya stood up and evened out some papers against her desk when there was a knock on the door. 

"Yes?" She said automatically without lifting her gaze. "Doctor," a weak voice came in. "I'm afraid I've got a terrible illness." The door closed behind the individual. The Doctor raised her bored gaze to meet the Captain's jovial smirk. "If it isn't my favorite patient," she said with heavy sarcasm dripping from her voice. "As much as I enjoy your company, I've asked you not to come distract me at work," she said with a small frown. "You don't see me showing up at your work." "That's different," he said wondering around her wooden desk. "If you showed up at my work, you'd be dead." He reached for her hand. "Right, because the medical ward is so safe, right?" She pressed her index finger against a particular pressure point in his hand. "Ouuuch," he grumbled pulling his hand back. "Friendly reminder that I can take care of myself." She nodded with the slightest of smile and continued gathering her documents. "But troopers wear armors," he pointed out. He did have a point. He wrapped his arms around her and held her in place. "Cass- I have to go make my rounds. My new apprentices are waiting for me." She protested against his embrace. "Wait- you're not taking me seriously." He complained. "You didn't even ask me what I was sick with this time!" She rolled her eyes. She loved yet at the same time hated how damn clingy this man could be. "You're such a hypochondriac. What are you sick with now Cassian?" She turned to eye him an eyebrow cocked expectantly. "I'm lovesick." He said before planting a fat kiss on her nose. "I think I’m the one who is going to be sick," she laughed while cringing. Lya would never be able to understand where the root of his infatuation came from. "Doctor Stryker?" a third voice suddenly piped in. Lya could've sworn she jumped three feet in the air. Cassian, on the other hand, played it cool and nonchalant shoved his hands into his pockets. It was the new cat in town, Dr. Aztin Cyder. "Dr. Cyder!" The Doctor greeted. "H-How can I help you?" She asked nervously. Cassian eyed the man carefully. There was something odd about him, something unsettling. He wasn't sure if it was his fixed glare on Lya or the way his massive feline teeth glistened whenever he spoke. "I knocked, but you didn't answer-" He began. It was a lie, Cassian knew better. He debated if it was best to confront him about it or merely witness and analyze his faux charade. It was apparent he had witnessed the romantic interaction between the couple. "I wanted to discuss my clinic hours with you," He spoke in a serious tone, his voice also carried an accent a distant land. One in which he would pronounce his Ks hard and his Ss would drag, and all of his Rs just sounded odd. Just the way he said Dr. Stryker as "Dr. SsstRAaicKerR,"gave her the creeps. "Right," she pursed her lips and swallowed her breath. "I think you'll be alright," she nodded towards Cassian awkwardly and stretched out her hand for him to shake. His mistrusting eyes shifted between both Doctor's and with no choice he took her hand in his. "Thank you, Doctor," he said briefly. He walked out slowly, his eyes combing every inch of the Lynx man before them. Lya flashed him a pleading look as he left. Once outside Cassian closed the door behind him. A scowl was noticeable on his features. "You seem, distraught Captain," commented K-2SO. "There's something odd about that Khajiit," Cassian said as they walked out of the ward. He adjusted his leather jacket and scratched his beard bringing the note that Lya had handed him to his close eyesight. 'Come back to me.' It was a simple note; regardless it brought a smile to his face. "Perhaps you are jealous Captain?" K-2SO suggested. The Captain shook his head slightly. He would get to the bottom of this. Meanwhile back in her office, Lya dealt with Dr. Cyder. "Boyfriend?" The man asked as Cassian left the room. "What can I do for you Aztin?" she said with a polite smile ignoring the question. He didn't falter. "I want more hours in the emergency ward, as well as my own assistants." The man said in a demanding tone. Lya clapped her hands together and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry, but- I'm afraid there's not much I can do for you." "Back in Naboo I had eight apprentices and was the head of the surgical ward-" He raised his tone, which she interrupted. "Although your qualifications were outstanding, I hope you understand we can't do that just yet- to begin with we are short staffed and you've only been in the Yavin 4 base for a couple of weeks. Let's see how you do and then we can discuss it again, yes?" She spoke in a hurried tone as she once again gathered her notes, and charts amongst other documents. "Thank you for understanding," she opened the door for him. The lynx remained in his seat not even flinching. He didn't even bother in turning his head to acknowledge the Doctor. "That was Captain Cassian Andor, no?" He spoke in that eerie tone he had. Lya slowly retreated closing the door. "I can only assume, it could be… dangerous to be involved with an officer like that. With so many enemies, who knows what could happen if word got out." He carefully attempted to read her expression from the corner of his predatory vision, his teeth gleaming in the dim light of her small office.

  "Get out," Lya slammed the door of her office behind the man. A Cheshire cat grin played on his feline features. He had gotten what he wanted, almost. More hours in the ER and two new assistants.

"I'm glad, you're a reasoning woman," he said satisfied. Lya clenched her fist tightly at her sides as she fought the urge to sock him in the face. This would not end like this.

He wanted assistants? Then he would have assistants. He wanted an apprentice? Then he would have an apprentice and if he wanted an office- oh he would get his office. 

Lya didn't know what to do. It had been a little more than a week and Cassian hadn't returned from his mission. Then again, it was his fault this was all happening to begin with. She had assigned both Lux and Adair as his assistants. His apprentice would be Forrest since he was interested in surgery just like Dr. Aztin. "I want you to report everything to me," She had instructed her former students. Both nodded and discretely continued with their missions obediently. 

It had been weeks, and Cassian still hadn't returned from his mission. It was an unusually rainy night, and Lya was presently leaning on a mountain of pillows on one of the sofas of her small round living room. The sky thundered making the window tremble and rattle. The yellow light in the room coming from the corner lamp was dim, and she ran a hand over her loose shoulder length hair as her eyes narrowed at Lux's handwritten notes. The notes were observations of the new doctor in the office, Dr. Aztin Cyder. Everything was perfectly ordinary. He treated the interns firmly but with respect. He checked in on time and performed his rounds and hours to perfection. Regardless of this, there was still something about it that rubbed her wrong. "Dammit!" She slammed the stack of papers against her crossed knees and shook her head a frustrated exhale escaping her lips. Continuing with the reports she read over the new interns. Forrest was progressing at an average pace. He was always stoic and composed. Seena, on the other hand, was being educated on different types of tissue injuries and what the best prevention and medical care worked with each. He seemed to catch on quickly, way too fast. Perhaps this child was a prodigy in medical care? Lya saw much of herself in the young Togruta. Lya tapped the end of her pen against her chin in a serious matter. She momentarily became distracted by the rain desperately tapping on the window. Having come from a dry climate, she couldn't comprehend how it was possible for it to rain so much in this forest. Thunder rumbled above in the darkness of the jungle and lighting momentarily flashed through the window. SLAM! It was then that the heavy wooden door at the entrance came apart. A violent gust of wind tossed her notes into the air; the air chilled her skin. She looked at the dark shadow outline that stood in her doorway. Water spilled inside the warm home. Alert she braced herself digging her fingers into the arm of the sofa. Her jaw clenched, eyes wide, teeth grinding tightly as adrenaline pumped through her veins. Her heart stuck on her larynx. "A-Aztin..." She managed to speak. She was ready for the attack. Her closest weapon was the pen she was currently gripping in her clenched fist. From the darkness stumbled forward Cassian instead, K-2SO followed suit. He slammed the door shut behind him catching his breath. His body soaked from head to toe. Kaytoo's metal body was slick cold. "Cassian!" She jumped to her feet tossing her remaining notes aside. Dark circles hung heavily under his eyelids. His eyes had turned into slits and remained focused on her. "Dammit! You scared the hell out of me!" She screeched, her face twisted into an upset scowl. Regardless he approached her, he didn't waste a moment in engulfing her in his drenched arms. His lips thirsted for hers as they attacked her. 

"Get off me!" She allowed a sharp exhale as she pushed him away. He looked at her perplexed. "Stop." She held her breath, a stern warning in the back of her throat. Her heart was hammering in her throat. He looked at her still confused. She felt light-headed and leaned on the nearby kitchen counter. Her hand on her racing heart. "I-.…" She lowered her head slowly. Shame filling her. "I'm sorry." She sighed. "You just- you scared the crap out of me Cass."

She got a good look at him. At how drained and exhausted he really was and the way his shoulder's hunched over in defeat.

"Should we get going, Captain?" K-2SO suddenly piped. Without a second thought and with pursed lips he turned leaving the humble house. The Doctor felt the guilt weigh down on her shoulders.  "Cass-" She ran out of her house after him. She ran into the rainforest barefoot wearing a loose tank top and mid tight length cotton shorts. The rain consumed her. She could feel her wet hair sticking to her face. "Cassian!" She reached him and wrapped his arms around him, holding on to his blue parka. "Now you want me?" He removed her arms from his body. "I come, tired, drained, and the only thing I want is to see you and this happens-" he raised his tone. "Cassian- I was scared! What do you expect me to do when someone comes in barging in the middle of a storm?" The thunder resounded above them. They both stood in the rain. Kaytoo stood along with them. Besides the heavy pouring of the rain, there was not a single sound amongst them. "Let's-Let's just go inside." She asked in a kinder tone. Her eyebrows arched upwards in concern.

"Y-You're soaking wet," she said nervously as she wrapped her arms around her own cold body. He remained silent. "I'll make tea," she said quietly in an attempt to keep busy. "I will now be powering down Captain," K-2SO announced a sudden beeping sound he emitted allowed both humans to know he was out. Lya could feel Cassian shuffling around the apartment. The Captain unzipped his wet parka and laid it on a chair. Luckily he remained dry underneath.

"Make yourself at home," she said dryly as she walked past him handing him a cup with tea. He responded with an unfriendly look. She casually removed her shirt as she made way to her room, sipping some tea on the way. A couple of moments later she returned wearing another loose blouse and plopped down amongst the many pillows on the sofa. She pretended not to mind him. However, he remained where he stood. His eyes were fixated on a blank spot of the dull wall. Lya kept her eyes on some notes she had been formerly leafing through. In a couple of moments, she heard Cassian shuffling about. She didn’t raise her gaze. His socks standing before her suddenly filled her vision. Raising her head, her eyes traveled across his bruised naked torso. Patches of hair adorned the middle of his chest and trailed so the south of his navel. She looked at him sadly, sighing her fingers reached for his sides which she caressed lightly. "Does it hurt?" She asked after a moment leaning forward and brushing his hot skin with her tender lips. "I'm sorry," She whispered meeting his eyes. "It's just…- hard for me when you leave." Tightening her grip on his hips, she pulled him down to the sofa and embraced him as if it were the last time. Both embraced some moments later. His head on her chest as he existed in romantic gaze. He found comfort in her touch and held one of her hands against his heart. Cassian didn't say much about his mission, then again, that was highly confidential information. It's not as if he was allowed. Lya mindlessly read over her reports with her free hand. "I think there's a spy in the quarters," he said suddenly. "Hmm?" She asked half not listening. "I think we've been infiltrated." He said turning his head up to face her with a severe expression. Her eyebrows furrowed confused. Her mind wondered for a moment, and the sudden image of the new feline doctor filled her vision: Dr. Aztin Cyder. She slightly sat up. Cassian looked at her confused. If Cyder was a spy, there was no other reason why he would want control of the medical ward, and his own assistants to do his dirty work for him. "I think I know who the spy is…" She said when the realization hit her.

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[yiotarot]

Hii 💌 Can I get a free tarot reading please? My initials are KS 💛

What does August look like for me?

Thank you 😊

Hi KS 💛

I pulled nine of wands and the bottom of the deck is ace of wands.

You’ve faced a lot of challenges and managed to overcome them. The month of august will be reminding you of your strength and determination to push you towards reaching your goals/desires. You’re nearly at the end and this is the last push to open up new opportunities (ace of wands) for you. Look at the areas you need to work on and set a plan to get there. Set healthy boundaries and communicate them (don’t let people walk over you), but don’t shut the people out that genuinely want to see you succeed.

You have everything you need to get you there, don’t forget how far you’ve come and that you are more than capable of seeing it through, getting what you want.

I hope this resonated for you. ✨Sorry for the long wait, this is my last reading but thank you for being patient and participating. Hope you have a lovely day.

🌙Yio

[imgayandemotional]

looking back i can’t regret anyone i’ve been intimate with. i know so many people to have regrets and negative feelings. i do have minor regrets about certain events and actions but over all i would not choose to erase a memory of anyone from my life.

ed this was a rollercoaster of a friendship/maybe more? you confused the hell out of me. but you did help me figure out who i am.

kp you were my first girlfriend and you taught me to be patient even tho it was oftly hard waiting for you to come out. dating you made me realize i’m not ashamed of who i am and i want to be open

aw this was such a funny relationship. i liked you so much but neither of us could submit to the other. you taught me sometimes no matter how much you like somebody you’re better off friends

cj what happened between us confuses me to this day. but you were my bestfriend. you gave me a safe place. there was something comforting about sharing that first time together. i loved you platonically but felt so close and intimate with you after those things happened

cc this one was really jus me still being in love w ed. you reminded me of her so much. it’s a good thing we didn’t work out bc you taught me to let go of the past and what could’ve been

sm i don’t know where to start. this is one that i have many small regrets about. but i don’t regret you as a person being in my life. you taught me to love but you also taught me that love is not the only thing that holds a relationship together. to be honest. love is not enough on its own

ks you left quite an imprint on me. i was looking for a rebound. for a hookup. i drove to see you and it became more intimate than that. i was confused by what you wanted. but i wanted you so bad. i regret how i treated you but not meeting you. you gave me faith i could love again after being hurt so much. i thought i loved you but i simply didn’t. i did have potential to love you though and that’s what showed me i could still love.

km my sweet sweet baby. my wife. i love you so much. i took all the things i’ve learned and failed from to make a healthy relationship with you. we’ve build a foundation of love that’s supported by trust and communication. i think i’m finally doing it right. i think this is it. even if it’s not. you’re the one to have taught me the love i deserve

[shytiff]

Dec 2021

1 - its a referral journey with teh erlina to RSUD banten. the whole affair was finished at 13:30 ish. we ate padang afterwards. my head rly hurts when im back at mess. its throbbing at one particular spot. even after 1 PCT it still hurts. so i decided to sleep early. no productivity for tonight

2 - did laundry and bought porridge in the morning. so glad i did that instead of laying down again. BP alone today with bu ade. napped while waiting for 2 pm. lazed. off to clinic. cant bring myself to open my laptop gahhhh. 

3 - MTBS with bu sri. ate with left over warteg food from yesterday. felt so so bloated so much that i can barely finish my indomie rebus. finally vomited the indomie out. felt a bit better. tidied up the references of red book. 

4 - bp umum with mendel. bought burger bangor for 35k. got nasi kotak from puskesmas. watched dalbang. ate the chicken from nasi kotak

5 - it was raining but i rly wanted some physical activity, so i walked outside with umbrella lmaoo. the in ear headset i bought blocks the rain sound when its not too heavy. walked until the u turn near palmizio. stopped at indomaret and got tempe at mas arif. watched in the soop 2 ep 1 and did 1 pamela reif video. napped. ate seblak but unable to finish it. didnt do anything productive today. so its been 6 days of non productive days :((((

6 - met with teh Rahma in pustu. posyandu in pabean. cooked spaghetti at mess and went to pkm. the lights were out lmao. showered. o seven with nagita. tried hazelnut latte (it has a nice taste and was claimed to have no sugar). did some work on Prof’s PPT. continued in mess. slept

7 - posyandu kotabumi w teh yuyun. finished at 11. did laundry in mess. went back and hung out at mtbs. fell asleep and woke up at like 1 am bcs im on my period. showered and washed my hair lmao. the tongkrongan near the mess was playing some songs and chatting away. i shouldve did Prof’s PPT but i ended up playing w my phone and sleeping again. 

8 - KB with bu imas and bu yeni. got to try removing implants. i think i cut the skin too wide (3-4 mm ish) but it got out smoothly. did some work while waiting for 2 oclock in my in-ear headset to nicely block out sounds on the 2nd floor. went to jannor bcs i rly need the motivation to finish Prof’s PPT. my fav spot was taken :( but thankfully after ~1 hrs i can be there. went back to mess. my brain is still functioning nicely and awake from the coffee. but i didnt continue work in mess. slept at 12-ish, reading plenty of killugon fanfic lmaooo

9 - bp umum with bu ade. got free food for lunchie. thursday shift as usual at the clinic. its been a while since i last saw cakap korean class again. its talking about disease and symptoms lmaoo

10 - capolista @ pustu. super happy for the chance to take blood the patients. still got some learning and practicing to go. the kind ibu perawat holds the spuit so effortlessly. i think the moral lesson is to not easily give up, dont go too deep, and kinda explore a bit when the blood doesnt come out. went back to mess to have lunch. continued reading this one long killugon fix lmaoo. 

11 - mtbs today with bu imas. there was surprisingly plenty of patients. got some time to myself bcs tri got the afternoon shift and renata went back to jakarta. did some self care (?). ran at 5.30 pm. dropped my bni card from my pocket near KS and realized it in palm hills. thank God it was still there when i went back. my body feels sluggish. its probably been 2, 3 weeks? of me not running on sunday. didnt rly do anything substantial afterwards. 

12 - cfd with ness mendel callen tri. tri left early bcs we separated. bought roti canai, lychee mango drink, potato+tofu and of coursee keripik pisang. my body hurts afterwards. ~8k steps when we arrived at mess. washed my clothes. ate spaghetti. relaxed. zoom meeting with dr eva. watched some youtube. enjoying the alone-ness

13 - posbindu w bu ira and bu elis. didnt rly do anything substansial at mess except laying around. watched yuni at transmart with ness callen. failed to get the 50% cashback bcs i didnt click the coupon hhhh. the movie was surprisingly fun and relatable for a coming-of-age genre

14 - KIA with bu mut. pretty much played with my phone the whole time there’s no patient. already opened my laptop while waiting for 2 oclock but ended up napping :) tried kopsus gula aren from daily weekly. the cafe was pretty cozy. the coffee was surprisingly not as acidic as the mocha i tried from DW. its creamy, but not nutty like jannor. did some minor work. did some more work at mess. i guess its better for me to not use a laptop stand bcs its easier on my hand ergonomics lmao

15 - mtbs today. i cant find my wireless headset. waited it out for 2 oclock. napped didnt rly do anything useful today. its always a promise of 2mrw

16 - woke up for sahur. hectic bp umum. i need to stop napping in pkm and do some actual shit. just lazed b4 clinic. bought roti o to get some ice tea and snacks for iftar. turns out teteh2 gave plenty of food and i was sooo full. alhamdulillah

17 - chill KIA day with bu Sri and bu Rohayati. no patients. i just played my phone lmao. went back to mess for laundry. napped a bit, mustered the courage to open laptop. did some work accompanied by RotiO hazelnut coffee. ended up not being able to sleep until 12 am

18 - mtbs with mendel. bought kanayam mozzarella and ugh its too much lol. just sambal for the win

19 - cfd with ness ren tri. did 1 pamela reif video. jannor. watched a bit of APICD ecg vid. cant bring myself to finish Prof’s assignment huft. 

20 - fasting today. bp umum w mendel and bu ade. there were a lot of patients TT. read living with you manhwa. tried to do some work. bought mcflurry for iftar. felt rly sleepy after iftar. i shouldve drank some coffee

21 - porridge for bfast. posyandu kota bumi with teh yuyun as usual. ibu kader cooked some food and we ate together in posyandu. showered at mess after posyandu lol. waited it out in pkm. napped. woke up and hopefully i can do something productive. tried to brainstorm for Prof’s work but i cant bring myself to type any sentence. Its difficult. helped tri dye her hair at midnight lmaoo. slept at 1.30 ish

22 - MTBS with bu sri. did some citation revision during poli for dr eva. napped. did laundry.

23 - MTBS with nessa. tried sotang mozzarella and the regular sotang. its nice but its basically modified sausage. got to have the mess for myself since ren ness were in jkt. clinic shift as usual except it was raining. was given mango sticky rice. watched dalbang before sleep

24 - chill KIA day with bu Imas. ate the sticky rice. honestly its nice but i dont actively search for it. relaxed at mess. indomie for lunch. purchased a beauty clinic package at fave. 

25 - jaga posko with bu mutia, bu sri and pak jul. chicken porridge for breakfast. watched a chinese action movie, the island, jerome polin in youtube lmao. napped. ate my packed lunch. picked up burger bangor bcs there’s promo. finished my shift. prepared and packed my stuff. waited about 10-15 mins and was about to give up til the arimbi shows up (i skipped like 3 prima jasa). there were not that many ppl. stayed at devi’s house with racheel. tried menantea. we talked until late at night

26 - its nicely cold and breezy in the morning. watched tune in for love. indomie for bfast. watched kingsman in balekota and bought xxi popcorn with gopay promo. ate at imperial tangcity. maghrib at devi’s place and then off to AR. my phone fell on the way hiks. dad finally saw my hair lmao. he didnt rly say anything abt it. can finally shower and relaxxx by myself. 

27 - put my phone to be serviced. Basically just slept and watched youtube. Picked my phone. Evening jog w racheel. Otw to cilegon

28 - bp today. Didnt do anything, rly lol

29 - posko. Bu neni bought me bfast and lunch 🥺 evening stroll to the usual place ith ness renata. Watched bad and crazy while eating oishii popcorn

30 - mtbs with teh vinny. Put on my screen protector and attempted 3 times lmao. Cooked some veggies

31 - chill kia day with bu sekta and bu neti. Listened to bu sekta's life story. Went back to mess. Waited out 2 pm. Packed my stuff and off to jkt. Took primajasa and stopped in karang anyar rest area. Off to devi's. Delivered plenty of food. Martabak, moon chicken, tanoshii sushi. Watched Always (2012). Saw fireworks on devi's rooftop

[mechanicswichita]

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Mobile Computer Diagnostics

Mobile Diagnostic Service near Wichita KS:  A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita Heavy Truck Repair & Towing offers complete mobile truck diagnostics service to get your issue identified and get it repaired as quickly as possible. A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita team of trained heavy truck technicians can make many common repairs roadside saving you time and money. They invest in computer diagnostics for almost all truck, engine and transmission manufacturers including: Volvo, International, Cummins and Eaton. Their team shows up on scene with a fully stocked heavy road service truck to get you back on your way as quickly as possible. Road Services Include: ● Tire Changing Service ● Fuel Delivery ● Lock Out Service ● Jump Starts ● Hydraulic Line Service ● Hazmat Clean up ● Truck & Trailer Storage ● Brake Shoes & Brake Seals Repair ● Brake Chamber Service ● Starter & Alternator Replacement ● Airline/Air Valve Repair ● Cooling System Repair ● Complete Environmental Services ● Truck & Trailer Repair ● Battery & Battery Cable Service ● Mobile Mechanic ● Load Shifts ● Load Transfer ● Load Swap ● Cargo Offloading ● Booster Start Service ● Portable Generator Power ● Belt & Hose Replacement ● Lighting Repair & Replacement ● Exhaust System Service ● Water Pump Service ● Air Compressor Service ● Trailer PM Service ● AC Recharge ● U-Joint Repair ● Fan Clutch Repair

Mobile Diagnostic Service at Home Or Office

Mobile Diagnostic Service near Wichita KS:  If your car needs a mobile diagnostic check done at your home or office, let A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita come to you! Our mobile service technicians equipped with the latest diagnostic testing tools will make sure everything is working fine. Checking in on performance issues is essential to the longevity of your car, especially if you spend time on the road daily in traffic. If you see that check engine light blinking, having a diagnostic check done as soon as possible could save you time and money. A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita Repair will come to your home or office and do a comprehensive car diagnostic check, looking for power issues, damaged parts, and even corroded wiring that might be taxing your car's performance. A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita is a car diagnostic mobile mechanic with a reputation built on reliability and making it easy for our clients to get back on the road. Contact us for diagnostic auto repair estimates.

Should I Have a Mobile Diagnostic Done?

There's a world of complex engineering under your hood that the expert mobile mechanics at A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita have studied for years. One of the most common signs that something might be wrong is the pulsing flash of your check engine light. Even car owners familiar with the importance of having car diagnostic services will ignore this warning sign, thinking they can put it off or just wait until it goes away. Thankfully, the technicians at A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita have a full-service diagnostic shop with testing tools on wheels ready to come to you and identify the problem before your vehicle's engine or other essential systems are too far gone.

What if My Vehicle Has Never Had a Diagnostic?

Mobile Diagnostic Service near Wichita KS:  If you've never looked under the hood or taken your car to a garage for a check, you're probably overdue. Stop and go driving is notoriously tough on cars, and the world under your hood is a hot, acidic, corrosive, hostile environment filled with delicate plastic and rubber parts. Parts are bound to give out under these conditions, particularly after hours spent in stop-and-go traffic or on congested freeways. If you have a used car or one with a decent number of miles on it, booking a quick car diagnostic from a mobile service technician with the right testing tools is a smart move. And if your car is a reliable workhorse that has been behaving strangely, then a diagnostic is the ideal first step to getting your old friend back in shape and revving to go.

What Are the Signs That I Need a Diagnostic?

Aside from the blinking light, one of the biggest signs that you need to schedule a diagnostic is the car not turning over or starting. Other signs include strange dings, clicks, and similar odd sounds. If your lights behave strangely or your brakes respond slowly, then your car needs a diagnostic exam. Thankfully, A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita mobile car diagnostic mechanics can keep your car running as efficiently as possible. Contact A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita to schedule a diagnostic test. You can trust us to come to you to ensure your car runs smoothly for years.

Why Diagnostic Application Development needed?

Mobile Diagnostic Service near Wichita KS:  Any individual or a fleet owner would like to cut down the maintenance cost of the vehicles for sure. Only a few years back, people could determine neither the health of vehicles they drove nor what exactly happened when any vehicle broke down. They simply ended up paying hefty maintenance bills and got on with that. Some would care getting into the details, but only through the experts which also consume their time and efforts. IoT technology has changed the scenario completely- Now your car actually talks to you whenever you want. Leveraging IoT and Bluetooth/GPS technology, it is now possible to fetch all the data from a car's ECU. Predictive analysis is performed in order to derive the results. This will show if the vehicle needs a service on a particular part, which would help vehicle owners to exactly know what needs to be done.

Benefits of Mobile  Diagnostic Applications

The concept of Connected Cars is the one which the automobile industry is looking forward to implementing. Car diagnostic applications can be a potential solution for everyone, from fleet management companies and fleet owners to individual owners who may have one or multiple cars to look after. Some of the benefits of car diagnostic application are:

● Cost effective and easy to install ● Improve vehicle protection and driver's safety ● Advance diagnosis to prevent breakdown or malfunctioning ● Compatible with the most make and models after 1996 ● Improved efficiency and pollution reduction ● Improved driving behavior with real-time GPS tracking ● Predictive analysis resulting reduced maintenance costs

COST

How much does it cost to get a diagnostic test on your car?

Mobile Diagnostic Service near Wichita KS: Repair Pal reports that a car diagnostic test costs between $88 and $111 before taxes, and Popular Mechanic says it can cost from $20 to $400. As with any financial decision, it's smart to check at least three places before you commit.

What is a car diagnostic test? The majority of modern fuel-injected vehicles have automatic transmissions, fuel injection systems, and ignition systems that are controlled by computers. These computers continuously receive data from dozens of sensors to optimize the combustion process. When one of these sensors reports a problem, your check engine light will turn on, and it’s time to get a diagnostic test.

“A good diagnostic test will inform you how long the issue has been present, both in real-time, key/start cycles, and drive cycles, while also telling you how many times this error has occurred during that time,” says Matt Barton of The Hero Labs. “This tells you if the problem was a fluke or if you have a degrading system that will need to be addressed,”

There are also errors which can occur in your vehicle which won’t light up your check engine light. With this in mind, it’s not a bad idea to get a diagnostic checkup periodically.

How much should a Mobile diagnostic cost? “Typically, it should only cost one hour of shop rate time (the amount a given shop charges for their hourly rate),” says Barton. Depending on your region, this figure should sit between $65 and $100. Repair Pal reports that a car diagnostic test costs between $88 and $111 before taxes, and Popular Mechanic says it can cost from $20 to $400. As with any financial decision, it’s smart to check at least three places before you commit.

Can you get a free car diagnostic test?

Barton says, “As a mechanic and small business owner, my job is to make money, so I always include a free check with service. Many places will do this if you just ask, and hey, a free check never hurt.”

On the other hand, some shop owners will try to convince you that your car trouble is catastrophic to push you to spend more. Be sure to check reviews and work only with reputable establishments. If you have qualms about a diagnosis, get a second opinion.

Unfortunately, not all pricey diagnoses are scams. Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and pay for an expensive repair or part replacement to keep your car alive.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

How will A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita’ technician work with my staff to avoid disruption to our office routines?

Mobile Diagnostic Service near Wichita KS:  A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita and your scheduler will choose a set time for patients to come in for diagnostic services. Depending on your patient volume, we come in for a full day or half as often as you need. Patients are scheduled into this time slot the same way they would be for a regular office visit. Our IAC-accredited sonographer functions as an extended member of your staff; he/she will come in quietly and perform studies without requiring assistance from your office personnel. Your staff can stick to the status quo with no disruption.

Does A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita require a lot of space in my office to work with patients?

No. Our lightweight, portable digital machines do not take up much space; they are about the size of a laptop computer. A small-sized exam room with a bed and electrical outlet is all that’s needed. If Wi-Fi or Ethernet service is available, our technician can often upload studies in real time. Otherwise, no special accommodations are required.

How long does each study take?

Studies are fast and painless, utilizing a minimum of 30 minutes and a maximum of 60 minutes per service”

How soon will I see increased revenues from my relationship with A1 Mobile Mechanics Of Wichita?

When you file claims electronically, you receive reimbursements within 30 days or even sooner.

How can I track my ancillary revenue and monitor profitability when I sign up for your sonography services?

Keep copies of the echo and vascular claims you have submitted in a separate file. Attach the EOB when you receive payment. Your office manager can easily show you the resulting additional revenue and profit.

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BEST MOBILE DIAGNOSTIC SERVICE IN WICHITA KS A1 MOBILE MECHANICS OF WICHITA REQUEST MORE INFORMATION. CONTACT US NOW!

Contact us: A1 Mobile Mechanics of Wichita 24-hour mobile mechanic roadside assistance services in Wichita, KS! CALL: (316) 201-9247 MOBILE MECHANIC WEBSITE: www.mobilemechanicwichitakansas.org Service Area: 55 Cities within 30 miles of Wichita, KS: Andale, KS | Andover, KS | Argonia, KS | Augusta, KS | Belle Plaine, KS | Bentley, KS | Benton, KS | Buhler, KS | Burns, KS | Burrton, KS | Cheney, KS | Clearwater, KS |Colwich, KS | Conway Springs, KS | Danville, KS | Derby, KS | Douglass, KS | Elbing, KS | Garden Plain, KS | Goddard, KS | Greenwich, KS | Halstead, KS | Harper, KS | Haven, KS | Haysville, KS | Hesston, KS | Hutchinson, KS | Kechi, KS | Maize, KS | Mayfield, KS | Mcconnell AFB, KS | Milan, KS | Milton, KS | Mount Hope, KS | Mulvane, KS | Murdock, KS | Newton, KS | North Newton, KS | Norwich, KS | Peck, KS | Potwin, KS | Pretty Prairie, KS | Rock, KS | Rose Hill, KS | Sedgwick, KS | South Hutchinson, KS | Towanda, KS | Udall, KS | Valley Center, KS | Viola, KS | Walton, KS | Wellington, KS | Whitewater, KS | Winfield, KS | Yoder, KS ZIP CODES: 67001 – Andale | 67016 – Bentley | 67017 – Benton | 67020 – Burrton | 67025 – Cheney | 67026 – Clearwater | 67030 – Colwich | 67031 – Conway Springs | 67037 – Derby | 67039 – Douglass | 67050 – Garden Plain | 67052 – Goddard | 67055 – Greenwich | 67060 – Haysville | 67067 – Kechi | 67101 – Maize | 67106 – Milton | 67108 – Mt Hope | 67110 – Mulvane | 67118 – Norwich | 67120 – Peck | 67133 – Rose Hill | 67135 – Sedgwick | 67147 – Valley Center | 67149 – Viola | 672xx – Wichita | 67204 – Park City or Wichita | 67219 – Park City or Wichita | 67220 – Bel Aire or Wichita | 67221 – McConnell AFB | 67226 – Bel Aire or Wichita | 67543 – Haven

[rb-d2]

Don’t get spooked.

Where’s the heck is the demo, kiddo?

Hey guys! I apologize for the silence, I've just been working really hard on polishing the game and I'm here to clear some things up regarding the upcoming demo. 

 Initially the demo along with the KS campaign was meant to come out by the end of September. However, now it's obvious that hasn't happened yet. I've decided after an initial review of me playing (what i thought was the final) demo, there were still a lot of things missing/incomplete/unpolished. 

 I realize I can't half ass this preview compared to the other alphas I've been releasing because this is the demo that will show what we're capable of. so I'm going to delay the launch of the KS campaign along with the demo. 

 It definitely frustrates me as much as you guys that are patiently waiting for the demo. But I'll be working hard for a while trying to get this thing to what I believe is at an acceptable quality for the next and possibly final alpha.

 I hope you understand. Thank you.

(i didn’t realize it has been almost 2 months since my last post god damn i'm so sorry for being so silent)

In any case, I have been working on the game all this time. So lets post something more progress related. I have a lot to share but I will split this into multiple posts so I don’t make a giant wall of text (it’s big enough as it is).

I’ve revisited the aircraft nozzles. They should look a lot better now.

Turns out modelling them individually and animating it is much easier than adding details through textures. Now I don’t have to worry about UV space for the nozzles and they look ten times better than usual. while occupying around 50% the amount of UV space they took originally. However it does come at a cost with tri-count, but then again all the things I model are relatively low poly to current industry standards.

Questions and Answers

Absolutely, This is one of the few things that we plan on differentiating from Ace Combat. Wave mode along with some mutators if time permits. At the moment I can’t discuss too much about them because it’s still really bare bones on my end. But once I have the KS demo out of the way I’ll be able to focus on that aspect of the game and then I can share details with you guys. Would definitely love your input on what could be interesting for a wave mode. We have our internal list at the moment in terms of features but would love to hear what you think.

I teased this a couple of months ago. However, as for the moment wingman command system is on a backburner. I felt like it didn’t offer much to the gameplay while being needlessly complicated.

This is one of the aspect I want to touch on when I do have A2G Focus aircraft in the game eventually. But yes naturally jeeps will have less armor than a heavily armored tank so they will definitely take less shots to kill.

I’m thinking of integrating unlocks across all 3 game-modes of the game. Obviously the Campaign will have all the meat with actual flyable aircraft and weapons. But Scenarios and wave-based mode will have certain special paint jobs maybe some special aircraft if I have enough aircraft to warrant putting it away from the main Campaign unlocks.

Thank you! Yes, hopefully soon. I have my own deadline with the Kickstarter and I’ll be working myself to death until this “date” I have set.

We’ll see.

Sure thing, I’ll provide a press kit which includes a bunch of high resolution screenshots of the game.

Thank you!

PC only for now.

Hopefully :)

No detailed public list yet because it’s still changing a lot.

Do I want to make this game moddable?

Yes

Do I have the ability to make this game moddable? 

Probably not. I’m still fairly new to Unreal Engine 4 and to dive into how it works completely to add modding support I’d have to spend days/weeks/months/years/decades learning it how it works so it is currently not my focus right now.

Absolutely, This is one thing that we’re currently trying to differentiate from other Arcadey Flight games such as Ace Combat. 

I want to provide much more gameplay options for the players and introduce a lot more enemy variety that forces the player to fight differently. You will see some of these in the next demo. Please look forward to it.

Unfortunately you’ll have to wait until there’s a Linux/Mac renderer for TrueSKY. (and if i can get my hands on those Operating Systems, which I do not have right now)

There will be quite a bit of voice acting. I will definitely appreciate community assistance when that time arrives. However, I’m still quite a bit away from that stage.

It’s a valid thing to have variable ammunition count for each mission. But I feel like it will introduce inconsistencies regarding the aircraft “true” ammo count. So I’d like to keep it static right now so players can actually remember what the true ammo count of each aircraft is.

Absolutely, IIRC it was able to do that in old demo.I might be wrong though, If you could show me some examples that would be appreciated.

We’ll see.

Soon™

Yeah, TrackIR support is something I’m planning to add.

Dating sim? I’m absolutely awful at writing stuff like that so its unlikely that it will have that kind of feature.

However it will have other gameplay related features that will distinguish it from Ace Combat.

now (sorry)

;)

I would love to have something like this to increase replayability for players. I’ll talk about it more after the KS campaign.