#*nik rants

[numtune]

yo

idk what is going on with me but I feel so ill, literally opened and closed my game 5 times today without doing anything, I didn't even go to class I just feel so messed up

[slamrink]

Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )

[sajra-savera]

[RANT ALERT]

I HATE HATE HATE MY COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION OFFICER !!!!

They literally treat to you as if they did you a favor by giving you admission! Like bruh aren't you the same person who was marketing your college (actually begging) to me to get admission here?! I could've easily gotten admission anywhere else with my grades... But fuck my luck and stupidity!

This guy talks to me as if he's paying my fee😃🔪

Like I love my college and other faculties but this one mf-

I never curse irl but oh my god this guy got me wanting a murder registered in my name 👹

His job is literally to help students with their issues but all he does is asking 'Why the hell did you fuck it up at first place?!' for at least a 100 times before making a disgusting face at me and giving some poor solution.

My lord with all due respect fuck u and your solution🥰

Why would someone mess up intentionally if they already know they're gonna face you at the administration office? I'm telling you guys he holds some past life grudge against me😭

[lazareneblessing]

long time no art, have a big dump of the drawings i made in the past few months (up to a year, some of them) of the various characters from my chronicle, shadows of berlin (aptly nicknamed sob). i spent too long putting all of this together NOT to post it!

featuring:

@deenomilk 's zasha

@taazo-kaan 's chris

@eye-of-the-queen 's venus

and @snowberry-pie 's tulip

[cherrycola27]

I have a job interview for a middle position after school today.

I also came back to work after being sick for almost a week.

While I was out, I started to regret applying for the position. However, after just a few hours of being back, I was reminded of all the reason I applied.

Please send me some positive thoughts that I get this position this week because I have to get out of elementary.

[desalvar]

citing all my sources of inspiration for Nikodemus would mean unironically putting Misfits 2009-2013 at the top of the list

[karlachismylife]

I saw your post about your gender feelings. Hang in there, bud.

If it helps, I was once told that no cis person ever questions "what they are", they just are. I get the imposter syndrome though, and the disconnect between your day to day and a small haven of peace where you can be yourself. I come from a conservative background, without any of the queer influences I enjoy today.

We're constantly growing, constantly learning new things about ourselves; I think that's part of the journey of being queer, rather than any indication you don't belong or aren't queer enough. You have a significant added challenge in exploring too and I hope one day they're gone. Much love and solidarity to queer Russians. 💜🤍💛💚

Already was on the brink of tears and now am crying, mate

Thank you, that thing about cis people not questioning kinda helped actually. I was told same about mental health issues (at least those can be confirmed with a paper and a stamp, huh). So i guess yeah. True. It's just the terf rhethoric about being confused and actually just seeking a way around patriarchy and all that bullshit that gets under my skin.

I'm happy you're free from those things in your past though, gonna live out my gay dreams through you and your art then, lol <3

I think another thing that is gnawing at me is that I am actually priviledged (and/or lucky). I had a lot of queer experiences that many other queer people here are absolutely robbed of. So it feels as if I'm kinda taking what they deserve more. Or that I can't be grateful enough for being able to have these things while others can't because I'm out here not even knowing what I am.

Anyway. Love wins. And we're here, proud and queer.

Love you 1969 times, thank you.

[prjctdiva]

no because oh my god the ui is so good. saw some people say "p5 but blue" and imo thats doing it a huge disservice. the designers know what they're going for

at the end of the day they're part of the same series so yeah.. there will be some similarities. but imo so far from what i've seen p3r absolutely feels very distinct, whilst borrowing a few elements from p5 that made it work. the ui actually manages to feel more modern and sleek (compared to the original), whilst still keeping things about it that make it distinctly... 2000s (drop shadows, font choices, outlines, etc). its also incredibly fluid, compared to p5's snappiness (again, fitting)

[leahcee]

just saw niknocturnals video on reacting to spotifys top 50 (global) and something wasn’t sitting right when his lil fans on twitch started commenting on how “repetitive” the beats were in the Latino/Hispanic songs

[esynk]

tommy and nik back at it with the gay sex on dash :3

[numtune]

Lend me a hand

Guys what legacy can I do that is heavily story based and do, I want to try the acting career and simfluencer thing cause I've never ever done that so I might start out with twins in either apartments or a flat in Del Sol Valley ngl... I think I might try my hand at crafting my own story .... this is gonna be hard hopefully I can get attached to these Sims

And yes Joy of Life is still gonna be here I LOVE them so much that I'm just behind on editing so I can't play them rn however I have some edited screenies and screenies to edit not sure about Spread thin tho it's super fun to play but meh I'll let you guys know

[slamrink]

every sports team that is realistically capable of winning a close game got that one guy who fucking sucks at literally everything but still thinks he's hot shit for some reason. unfortunately.

[lesbianlynns]

nik alexander's "i don't care much" did irreparable damage to my soul. the way they told the story and the choices they made as emcee were so one of a kind and soul shattering through the whole show, but especially in this song. the way emcee cried out the "if we touch" just to be cut off and silenced is so chilling. i miss this production so badly.

(also i will always have such a vivid picture of his face at the end of the finale in my mind. that smile shatters my soul just to think aboit. ugh i can't, these choices are such genius.)

[vullcanica]

📂 for 3 muses of your choice!

His 1.5 missing fingers and two missing toes Silas lost to frostbite. Being 13 and living in a forest hut means you're a little screwed in particularly cruel winters. He didn't know better, was undersupplied for the deeper snow, had no dry wood once the thatched roof gave under the ice and, at loss of what to do, undertook a trecherous trek back to town on foot. Collapsed in a snowbank a kilometer or two away. To this day he still jokes he's only alive because of the red hair, bright enough for a passing farmer to notice amongst all the snow. He was brought in and thawed out, safe and sound but for two blackened toes, a righthand pinky and a righthand ring finger, only half of which was cut off. A small price to pay considering the alternative. He's a leftie with a sword for that reason alone. No pinky, no grip strength.

The Tower's served plenty of functions in human society, from temple to office; it knows how to blend in. Constance's favourite has to be residential building, though. They're a fair, reasonable and helpful landlord and, while not the best conversationalist, they enjoy observing and interacting with humans. Sure, the place is strange but it has decent rent, shady tenants go missing pretty quickly and there's an unlocked janitor's closet (no janitor in employment) off the foyer that always contains items you're currently in great need of. Scissors, cables, drills, blankets, lost keys, pets and children. So long as you're respectful, it will always be unlocked for you.

Nikodemus is still fond of and honors his culture greatly, despite being the reason it was wiped out. Still, there's no place like home, even if home was rather hostile to him and some source of pain. He likes best the folk songs and native food he was reared with, thick dark broadleaf forests and simple lenins, chanting to the open sky and travelling by short plump mount. He respects earthen magics still though if he's long since left his behind, sticks to odd rituals, birth, wedding and burial rites, and even indulges in some of the silly little superstitions he never believed in. For nostalgia's sake.

[cherrycola27]

In case anyone is wondering how the lusty month of May is going for me, here's the highlights from the past few days

I slipped on my stairs and sprained my wrist

I currently have strep throat and covid with one week until our state exams

And I started my period two days early

So, if you need me, I'll be in bed trying not to die

[queervegancryptid]

I have an appointment on Wednesday to see somebody about an IOP program that allegedly accepts my insurance. It may also be a total waste of time. I'm not trying to get my hopes up.

But it's something. I really have to find a new primary care doc. Today's appointment made that clear to me. People who haven't been through this may not know, but a lot of doctors have gaps in their knowledge, huge ones, around mental health. Especially eating disorders.

That's not the only issue with this doctor. But it's the most pressing one. I'm eccentric and happen to be trans, so I'm pretty sure I'm basically a novelty for him. That wouldn't be too much of an issue, but I'm trying to do battle with an illness that can and will kill me. I need a doctor who's competent and knowledgeable enough to do what they can to prevent that. At this point, I see no path forward in which this person is at all likely to do that. Because he doesn't see me as fully human, whether he knows it or not; I'm more of a roadside attraction, a freak, than anything legitimate or worthwhile. Being interested in me as a novelty is not the same as having my best interests in mind. It's like people who have a fetish for trans people but don't actually see us as people so much as bodies to fuck. Attraction is not the same as love or respect. Scientific curiosity is not the same as doing your job as a doctor.

As hard as this is to admit, I need help, and I know that I have to figure out how to get help on my own. One component of that is finding a doctor who understands what I'm going through and intends to do something to help me. That's not going to happen here.

I'm a novelty from the Island of Misfit Toys to some people, not a person or even a patient or client. That really fucking stings. It's kinda the last thing I need right now. So, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but something has to change. I don't know that I deserve it, but I need help, and this isn't cutting it.