#*maybe* fjord would actually be responsible and go to therapy

[measureyourlifeincake]

modern AU mighty nein would be the group of friends where everyone says “you should go to therapy” to each other but none of them actually go to therapy

[mollymauk-teafleak]

more fjorclay

Happy Christmas @minky-for-short, thank you for being such a wonderful friend! 

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Fjord had spent so many years trying to be bigger. Standing taller than felt natural, setting his jaw to hide his tusks and look tough, keeping everything tense until it ached.

Hating what he saw in the glass.

Anything it took to convince the world and himself that he was big enough, strong enough to survive.

Melora had changed that. Caduceus had changed that.

With Caduceus he could be small, he could want comfort and he could live safely in the knowledge that it was okay.

Fjord lay on his stomach, one arm lying under his chin, the other reaching over so he could trace the patterns shaved into the underside of the firbolg’s sweep of hair. His fingertip carefully followed the curving, swooping path, a seemingly aimless wandering that actually contained runes and symbols when you looked closely.

“Who did this?” he asked softly, the first words either of them had said in quite some time. Though they hadn’t been quiet by any means.

“My sister,” Caduceus’ voice was raspy and low, his eyes not opening as he answered, “She enchanted it so it wouldn’t grow out.”

“And what does it mean?” Fjord felt like he asked a lot of questions when he was with Caduceus. Like it was okay not to know things.

“It’s a map, dear.”

“A map of what?”

Now Caduceus’ eyes did open, their unnatural purple colour glowing in the low light, too light to be violets, to deep to be lavender, like a sky constantly shifting between dawn and twilight.

“Me.”

Fjord liked that idea, that everywhere you’d been and everything you’d done could be written out so beautifully, “Could I do that?”

Caduceus smiled, his broad, kind face lifting with it, “I imagine it would have a lot of waves…”

Fjord grinned, aware that it made his tusks rest against his upper lip but not hating that, “Yes, most like.”

“It would look nice,” Caduceus reached out and rested his warm fingertips against Fjord’s cheek, bringing them up to comb through his dark hair, as if imagining where the pattern would go.

Fjord knew he was blushing, he could feel the heat across his cheekbones. How something as simple as that touch could get his blood up after everything they’d done since the inn door closed behind them, he had no idea. Some things just got to him more than others.

“My journey isn’t exactly the most...inspiring,” he murmured softly, feeling the words in another voice, at the back of his throat, “Maybe there’s some things I don’t want to carry for all to see.”

Caduceus’ face softened, his fingers slipping through the silky strands of Fjord’s hair, where it went from black to grey at the front, “But they’ve gotten you here, they’ve helped you be who you are right now. And I love who you are right now.”

Fjord had to close his eyes for a moment, he still wasn’t used to feeling so many things at once. Caduceus just lay on his back, fingers still softly stroking, giving him time. He always understood.

“I don’t know if I love who I am right now,” he eventually murmured, opening his eyes a little, just enough to see a rough sketch of Caduceus still there, still here for him, still listening patiently no matter what he said, “But I’m okay with being him.”

The ear that wasn’t pressed to the pillow picked up happily. They reminded Fjord of the bell shaped mouths of some exotic plant.  

“That means a great deal to the people who care about you, Fjord.”

People, meaning more than one. A whole group of people that could almost be called a family if you stretched the traditional definition. People he had been so scared of being unable to protect, people he’d been sure would find no more use for him after the loss of his magic. But it was only after that, after he’d felt himself broken down to less than he’d been before, that he realised he had a family. He had a calling. He had a lover. He had worth beyond what some demon from the depths could give him.

“Have, um…” Fjord had to clear his throat of the lump that was forming there, “Have I talked about my feelings enough to earn another round?”

Caduceus chuckled, a deep rumbling sound that was pure joy, “Is that what we’re doing? Trading personal growth for love making?”

Fjord stifled a fond groan. Caduceus always found the worst way to phrase it, he could never just say sex.

“It feels like it sometimes. That’s therapy, right?” he smiled, teasingly.

“Absolutely not, that would be quite unethical,” Caduceus grinned, teeth bright in the low light, the lantern had burned out long ago and there was nothing but the yellow moonlight in their little room, “Fortunately, I’m not your therapist, I’m your boyfriend.”

Fjord turned that word over happily in his mind. Boyfriend. He couldn’t even imagine having one of those a while ago but now he did, he couldn’t remember how he got along without one.

“Well, in that case…” Fjord rose up, pushing himself onto his knees and throwing a leg over Caduceus, straddling his hips.

Almost instantaneously, there was something hard pressing against the small of his back. The simple fact that Cad was big enough for him to feel the pressure there had that wonderful ache going between his legs, never mind how fast he could get it up at just feeling their bodies pressed against each other.

As calm and placid as he was, Fjord had soon found there were a number of different ways to wind his firbolg tight, to have him growling and begging and tense with need. But he didn’t want to do that right now. Right now he just wanted to feel like they were one person rather than two. He just wanted the closeness.

Caduceus reached back, massaging Fjord’s ass and slipping one finger into the crease of his body, “Still open enough for me?”

“Think so,” Fjord bit his lip, “Wouldn’t mind if you wanted to check…”

Caduceus smiled, even looking a little smug, pressing that finger against his hole, not insisting, only moving into him once his body gave him access. Sure enough, there was enough slack to his muscles from earlier in the evening to offer no real resistance but still he probed a little, just to see Fjord’s face tense in rapture and watch his chest flush, everything turning a warm, darker green apart from the scars that littered his body. The myriad of smaller ones and the two twin incisions across his chest that had actually been given time to heal cleanly.

“I think you’re ready,” Caduceus purred, the rumbling starting in his chest, “Talk to me, okay?”

Fjord nodded, knowing Caduceus would worry he was hurting him unless he communicated otherwise. Apparently he was much noisier than anyone else he’d slept with and it had startled him.

Not that his worries were unfounded, given his size compared to Fjord. It had taken time, a lot of exploring and going slow and morning afters where Fjord decided to gingerly walk alongside the cart rather than risk sitting in it. But now he was strangely proud of how easily he could cope with his firbolg lover and shamelessly turned on by their size difference.

So as Caduceus lifted him up, effortlessly, and seated him on his cock, Fjord loudly gasped and moaned in delight, “Gods, that’s good…”

Caduceus moved one hand from the half orc’s hip to cradle his face, “Sweet boy. I love how you look when I’m in you.”

Vision a little blurry, Fjord looked down at Caduceus, at his beautiful cloud of silky hair, growing paler by the day like a dying flower, at his slate grey hair glowing softly in the night, at his own slick beading on that fur where their bodies met. It could all so easily be too much, enough to make him come apart at the edges. But that hand against his face, large enough for him to almost fully rest in, kept him grounded.

He could feel small. He could feel vulnerable. He could allow himself to sink into it all and know there would be a way out.

He whimpered as he began to bounce on Caduceus’ cock, feeling his nerves come alive. Words spilled out of him in an endless rush, telling him how big he was, how much he loved to feel him, how he was his, always his. Caduceus said nothing in response, he only purred and groaned softly, saying much with just those gentle, loving noises.

“Can I touch you?” was the only thing he said, to an emphatic, desperate yes.

His fingers left his hip, letting Fjord take full control of the speed and intensity of his thrusts. Now one hand cradled his face, the other slipped down to the juncture of his legs. He pressed his thumb against Fjord’s clit, practically able to feel his pulse, the blood rushing wantonly under the skin.

After that, he was gone.

With a scream of Caduceus’ name, as devoted as any prayer, Fjord came hard. Caduceus was half a heartbeat behind, groaning through clenched teeth, filling him with heat. Muscles failing him, Fjord fell forward across the firbolg’s chest, enough to feel the aftershocks of his lover’s orgasm, the part of his brain still working delighting in knowing he’d caused them.

Once he was in control of himself again, Fjord sighed and pressed a soft kiss to Caduceus�� chest, shakily lifting himself up just enough to separate them. But still he didn’t move away, content to stay splayed across his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Caduceus’ hand still cradled his face, thumb stroking across his cheekbones, the ones he’d always hated for being so frail. His other hand caressed his bare hips, the one’s Fjord had despised all his life for being so curved. When they finally did roll over, Caduceus bent and kissed the twin scars across his chest, the one’s Fjord’s stomach had always clenched at because they reminded him that his body hadn’t always been somewhere he wanted to live.

Everything Fjord had resented and hated, Caduceus touched with such tenderness, all of it parts of a whole he loved. And when he did, Fjord could start to love them himself.

Caduceus really had changed so much.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e70

I miss Ashley :(((((

Sam has way too many props in front of him I’m nervous

Matt having to be like "Sam please don’t gloss over this the feature is actually really cool"

Oh man I wish Liam was actually in the room for this

Takiesin losing it at Sam’s ads is always my favorite part

[[MORE]]

I love how well Matt and the others handle the fandom drama. Just a reminder to love each other and a sort of stern look. No big grandstanding speeches or anything, just a reminder that we are a fandom who should be spreading love.

I don’t like that "seemingly" destroyed...

They need to message Yeza too because he’s just at home waiting

They should 100% have written this message before she sent it

YES tell her where you are right now

Cad’s right don’t act like you did anything wrong

I really think they should go back, regroup, maybe get some advice or some help

Idk man I know Cad sometimes sees the best in people and wants to trust them and maybe he’s wrong but I really think they should go back. They need help. They are so in over their head.

Frumpkin the therapy cat

"I don’t mean to raise my voice" Cad says while talking only moderately louder than usual

Cad’s so appaled by the fact that none of them know how to have any kind of faith

I don’t understand Fjord’s insistance that they are responsible

Oban would have done it anyway. This way they KNOW it’s happened.

Cad’s right. Jester’s right.

Beau and Fjord are both being pretty aggressive about this and it’s really interesting

I can’t decide whether that was a manipulative thing or a "we literally just don’t want to cause a panic by telling people there’s a monster demon god thing suddenly on the loose" thing

I don’t think that was a fair way to word that question, Beau. "Would a good guy serve a queen or save some people?" like that was not at all a fair way to ask. Y’all don’t have all the answers and Caleb’s right, you shouldn’t go off half-cocked

"Should I scry on Yasha?"//"Well at least she’ll know she’s not alone." MY HEART.

"I think disavowing authority simply because it is authority is reckless." Ooooo Cad hitting that nail on the head where Beau is concerned.

Jester being so sad and done is breaking my heart tbh

MotherfuCKING OBAN IS BACK ISNT HE

"The dead stare" too sad

FUCKING KNEW IT

I KNEW HE WASNT GONE

God dammit

"Seemingly" Matt said and I knew

"What if she was bad you guys? What if she was bad the whole time?" Oh Jester no </3

"She wasn’t." Thank you, Cad.

That’s an unfortunate point

What if they are heading to the main door

Which is very close

Don’t

Like

It

That

At

All

Okay it looks like the Bright Queen has at least warned some people which is good

I can’t when Matt uses that accent because all I can think of is Skyrim

"Right now she’s definitely the orphanmaker" owwwww

M: "Make a stealth check"

S: "I’m not trying to steal them."

":O"

S: "I’m trying to buy them."

":O!!"

It was forged in the forest where he grew up?? And now he’s gonna reforge it in the kiln or something maybe?? Idk.

Dwueth’var. cool name.

It’s so cool to finally know something about the sword

Beau trying to make Jester feel better while internally being like "McFancypants??"

Jester doesn’t just need Fjord’s validation she needs EVERYONE’S validation

"Couldn’t sleep because I kept waiting for lightning" Beau was waiting for the Storm Lord to come save Yasha

C: "Caduceus is not the only one who’s good."

B: "You uh... talking about me?"

C: "Yeah, I am. You shit on yourself a lot. I see you do good every day."

Having Empire Kids feelings now

Ohhhhh Beau was supposed to take over the family business??

GASP Shakaste has gotten Luc to Nicodranus that’s good!

I hope

N: "You’re not chill?"

J: "No!"

"And you’ll meet the rest of your family" for Jester’s sake I don’t want the Traveler to end up being a jerk but I just can’t quite trust him

Time to go sailing again

"Let’s have the meeting at the volcano Cad wants to go to for convenience sake"

J: "It’s really hard. There’s so many things in the world and I thought it would be really cool to see it all. .... But a lot of it is just really sad, a lot of people getting hurt." :(

TT: "But there is beauty in sadness too. Without those moments it’s hard to appreciate the beauty. You’ll be sad again. To live is to be sad, time and time again. But you also get to be happy. You get to be playful. You get to be mischievous. Just know no matter where you are, I’m not far. And also know... you’re not the only one being watched over anymore. There are many voices, many eyes upon you. ... Wherever your friend Yasha is, I’m sure there’s some very powerful eyes on her that never left."

J: "Good ones? Helpful ones?"

TT: "I’ve seen the storm myself."

Alright fine I like him and I trust him and I’m gonna regret it

Beau listening for thunder again </3

What the FUCK is this Yeehaw Game Ranch ad omg

GUYS

GUYS YOUR MOORBOUNDERS

Literally anyone but Fjord

"I’m just gonna lie to her" see it needs to NOT be Fjord

Oh damn so their information was good?? There was an attack on the garrison and there were the assassination attempts

That’s good. It gives them a little cushion here.

Wait fuck do you think Dairon is the assassin they caught??

It is Dairon isn’t it

oh fuck is it Astrid??

I can’t decide which will be worse

AYYYYY BOY

ESSEK I missed you

Oh boy here we go who is it

I am so anxious

Oh shit he said her name

oh god

Oh no

Ohhhhhhhhhhh godddddd

Oh shit now he’s said his own name

FFFFFUCK

oh god it’s not Astrid

AND HE MIGHT HAVW JUST GIVEN HIMSELF AWAY

FUCK

nope nope nope

Well this woman has to die now

"I’ve heard things about you Bren. Welcome back."

NOPE.

"Some of us get tired of macabre fairytales. Enjoy your mouth full of lies when they choke them out of you." Damn.

Awww Yeza has been cleaning and making things neat because he’s LONELY HE’S BEEN ALONE SO LONG

Caleb, babe, be careful

You are emotional and making very curious decisions about what you are choosing to reveal

Stone, Dust, and CLAY huh?

I’m suuuuuper into this lore this is great

I wanna know if it’s Matt’s or Taliesin’s or a mix of both

Cad: "I’m 2000 years old"

N: "Are you shitting me right now?"

Cad: "Yeah :D"

Caleb is confusing everyone and it’s quite funny but also a bit sad he’s clearly so shaken

Beau’s definitely in trouble

Good episode! Honestly Laura really carried it this week, with the amazing Jester feels. Taliesin too.

Good ep. Gooooood ep.