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moirasimagines · 6 years ago

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when doves cry | billy hargrove x reader

billy and the reader have a night where emotional intimacy crashes into the physical and music means everything.

(a/n: songs for this fic are, in order, when doves cry by prince, everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears, and in your eyes by peter gabriel. carin at the liquor store by the national is a contemporary song, but also suits the vibe incredibly well.)

word count: 2,959

warnings: SMUT!!!, angst, mentions of abuse (from canon, nothing abusive between billy and the reader), redemption arc for billy so he differs a little from canon if that’s going to bother you, language. 18+ only. (unfortunately, i have not mastered the art of gender neutral smut, so this would be with an afab/fem reader. let me know if you’d like me to rework it for other bodies or identities)

Billy’s fingers dug into your hips as you rode him and he let out a groan. You grinned, though you couldn’t see his face–– your head was thrown back, and the smile quickly faded from your lips as your expression twisted into one of pleasure. Your boyfriend liked to fuck with music on, and you had no objections. When the song was good, it just made everything better. And bad songs? Let’s just say you had more than enough to distract you. Sometimes you could tell how Billy felt about a song by the ways his body reacted: the way his teeth would graze your neck as he smiled when a song he liked began to play, the way he would kiss you possessively when there was a song he didn’t care for, his cock twitching inside of you when it was one that turned him on.

You’d never felt anything like how stiff he went after the first few notes of When Doves Cry. You didn’t stop your movements right away; you were admittedly a bit lost in the sensation of it all. Besides, the two of you always liked Prince. He tapped out after a moment, and you stilled.

“Get off,” he said, voice still thick with lust.

“Gett Off? No, isn’t this When Doves Cry?” You were in no position to do any critical thinking. Billy had to laugh, at least a little.

“No. I mean get off me.”

“Oh! Oh. Yeah,” you said, lifting yourself off of him. “Sorry.” You sat on the bed beside his legs. The blonde boy waved off your apology and got up, changing the station on the radio. You couldn’t help but admire his form–– the sheen of sweat covering his back, the curve of his ass. But once he’d changed the dial and Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears came over the speaker, he didn’t turn back to you. Instead, Billy remained there for a moment, almost as if he was frozen.

“Babe? Are you okay?” You stood and padded over to him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. The touch seemed to wake him up, and he straightened his back.

“Yeah. Yeah. ‘M fine.” He turned away from you, slinking back to the bed, though he sat up, back against the headboard, rather than assume his previous position. You frowned, arms wrapping protectively around your middle. Had you done something wrong? It didn’t seem that way. You perched beside him on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on his cheek to make him look at you.

“Hey,” you murmured, searching his eyes for an explanation. You found none. “What’s wrong? I thought you liked Prince.”

“I do. I just…” He looked away from you again. “I’m not fucking you with that fucking song on.”

“Why not?” You tucked a stray curl behind his ear, brow furrowed with uncertainty. His mouth quirked when your fingers brushed his temple, and for a second you were sure his eyes were welling up. He moved away from you, and sat on the other edge of the bed, his back to you. The mattress dipped slightly as you crawled towards him, settling just close enough that he could touch you if he needed to. The ache between your legs hadn’t faded just yet and a little shiver ran through you, but you ignored it. There was clearly something larger going on here, and if it was enough to stop Billy in the middle of sex, you knew it was important. He took off the condom and tossed it in the trash, but said nothing. After a few moments passed in silence, you tried again.

“You can tell me anything” you said, voice hushed and soothing, “you know that, Billy.” He took a deep breath, as if about to speak, and then let it back out. You were starting to think he might need to be alone when he finally spoke.

“I’m not… I can’t fuck you with the line ‘Maybe I’m just like my father’ playing in the background. Okay? I just can’t.”

His candor shocked you. Of course, you’d seen the bruises. The split lips. The way that he’d brush it off like it was nothing, even when he’d shown up on your doorstep one night with a black eye. You knew his father hit him. Every once in a while, he would let his guard down enough to talk about it for a few moments. But he’d never once been this straightforward about what he was feeling. He scrubbed his hands over his face as if to shake off the notion, and when he turned back to you, it seemed as though he’d forced himself not to cry. His eyes were a telltale red–– bloodshot and right on the brink. But he’d held it back. You wished for once he would just let himself fall apart.

You laid your hands against his cheeks, and pressed a loving kiss to his brow. His head inclined toward your touch and his hands, rough and warm, rested familiarly at your hips. The tension seemed to have gone from his face and the calm on his features was so beautiful. Though perhaps it wasn’t enough, you knew it had been cathartic for Billy to admit even that much.

He’d never told you in so many words, but you made Billy feel safe in a way he’d never felt before.

“Listen to me,” you said softly, “you are nothing like that man. You are not perfect, but you are trying.” It was true. Billy’s junior year had been messy; pocked with violence and anger. He’d directed it in all the wrong places, let it control him. Now, even if it couldn’t make up for the wrongs he had done, he was trying to be better. He hadn’t tamed all his demons, but he was making an effort, and you’d been with him every step of the way. He’d started trying to get it together over the summer, and senior year was as fresh a start as it could be. You were confident that Billy would keep making strides. He was even making progress with Max, though she was slow to trust him. From the stories Billy told, you couldn’t fault her. The thought of some of the things he’d done in the past made you shiver, but he’d proved to you that he wanted to change and you had to focus on that.

You’d only ever seen him break down once, soon after you’d started to become friends. He’d bared his soul to you in that moment, and it bonded you to him. Your relationship came to fruition soon after. You both knew you were moving fast, but neither of you cared. You saw something in Billy that he rarely showed to others and the pull between you two had been magnetic. He had always thought you were the kind of person people trusted. He’d been right.

You combed your fingers through his hair, and tilted his head up, but his eyes stayed down. “Billy,” you implored, “look at me, baby.”

When he did, his eyes were shining again, and a tear slipped down his cheek. He brought the heel of his hand up to his face, frustrated, but you caught his wrist, replacing his rough touch with your gentle one.

“Stop,” you whispered, “just stop. Breathe.” He nodded and repositioned himself so he was sitting against the headboard again. Then he did as you asked, closing his eyes and taking a measured breath. His shoulders dropped, the muscles loosening as he tried to ground himself. Hid eyes found yours again, and his expression was calmer, though not without a gleam of defeat, hurt.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Of course, baby. Always.”

The Tears For Fears song ended, and was replaced by a new one by Peter Gabriel. You’d heard it once or twice before. It was beautiful, called In Your Eyes.

You sighed and took Billy into your arms, straddling his lap. He returned the embrace, holding you close, his lips pressed against your temple. You took a moment to breathe him in, gently raking your nails up and down the back of his neck. Eventually, he moved to pull away and you let him. He just looked at you without saying anything, hands sliding comfortingly up and down your arms.

“What’s a girl like you doing with a piece of shit like me, huh?” he finally asked.

His eyes shone up at you with admiration. His voice was so sweet, so gentle. The question held no malice–– he really meant it. Your heart felt ready to break right then and there, like someone had driven a stake into it.

“Oh Billy,” you whimpered, pulling him back into your arms. “Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.” Tears sprung from your eyes–– there was nothing you could do to stop them. You cradled his head against your neck, face turned so your nose was pressing into his hair. “You were so broken when I met you…” your voice was small, fragile with emotion. “No one had ever given you a chance. I’m not trying to erase the things you did, okay? But ever since we met I see you striving to be better. And no one can take that away from you.”

You could feel the way Billy’s breath rattled in and out of his lungs, and after a moment, hot tears began to drip onto your shoulder. You held Billy while he wept, silent. Your heart ached for him, like it would beat out of your chest if it meant you could ease some of his pain. You’d seen so many people who never tried to be good, never tried to better themselves. But Billy knew what it was to be hurt, and when he finally realized he was becoming the very thing that undid him, he knew he had to change. It was a privilege that he had trusted you to accompany him on his journey.

Billy couldn’t remember ever being this vulnerable before, but here he was: crying, naked, clutching you like a life preserver. He’d never met anyone he could truly fall apart with. He’d only ever done this once before, with you. But this time as you held him, comforted him, whispered that it would all be all right, he knew that you would keep putting him back together every time he shattered. After a while, the tears stopped, and Billy took a breath, lifting his head.

He took a corner of the bedsheet, wiping his tears off your shoulder, waves of relief crashing over him. No one in his life had ever held him like this, had ever cared about him like this. Every second left him in awe of your kindness, your spirit, how much love you had to give. His hands found your cheeks and you looked at him, eyes meeting his. He was done holding his tongue.

“Y/N, I love you,” he said earnestly. “I love you so much.”

The confession took your breath away, and for a few seconds, you could only look at him helplessly, eyes clouding with emotion.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he murmured, eyes flickering away from yours. His hands slid down your neck to rest at your shoulders. “I just had to tell you. You deserve to know how important you are.” His eyes turned back to you, vulnerable, kind. It was overwhelming.

Before you could think, you were kissing him, desperate and devotional, your fingers tangling into the hair at the nape of his neck. His arms wrapped around your torso, warm and reverent. Every touch was like you’d never experienced it before–– urgent but unbelievably tender.

“I love you too, Billy,” you finally managed, “more than I can say.” You watched Billy’s eyes well up as your own began to fill with tears, and you kissed him sweetly again and again. His hands roamed your body, not rough and hungrily like they usually were, but ardent and tentative. He wanted to touch every inch of you, to learn every cell, to mark it in his memory.

Your lips moved from his to trace down his jaw, his neck. He sighed and slid a hand into your hair, the other one massaging your thigh, fingers ghosting ever closer to the juncture of your leg and your hip. One of your hands remained in his hair and the other traced the expanse of his chest as you lavished attention along the column of this throat. Billy let out a low hum and gently guided your lips back to his, allowing himself access to your breasts. His hands followed the curves, thumbs brushing over your nipples. Soon he’d replaced the pads of his thumbs with his mouth, earning a soft gasp from you. Your every sense was heightened with the rush of emotion and wherever your skin met his felt like heaven.

Billy redoubled his efforts along your neck and jaw, touching his lips and tongue to the places he knew you were sensitive. He let his hands slink down to the tops of your thighs again, slipping closer to the slope of your hips. Once they arrived, he slid his thumbs along the sensitive skin and settled his hands around your ass. Pulling you close to him, he lifted you enough to scoot forward on the mattress, giving himself the room to lie down with you still on top of him, lips connecting fervently.

Your thighs hugged the sides of his ass and he could feel you, warm and wet, hovering above his hips. He’d grown hard and you reached between your legs to palm his cock. Sitting back up, you began to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone, trailing down his chest, his stomach, his hips. Billy sighed as you worked your way down, breath becoming heavier the closer you got. Finally, you pressed your tongue to the base of his cock, licking a long stripe to the top where you took his head in your mouth, massaging it with your tongue. His breath hitched and he let out a soft sound of pleasure before murmuring, “I need you.” You could taste his precum on your tongue, and you swiped it over the tip of his cock. When you crawled back up to kiss him, he could taste himself on your tongue.

He slipped a hand between your legs, finding you achingly wet, and he teased your clit with his thumb, letting his middle and index finger ghost along your core. He snatched a condom off his bedside table and rolled it on before returning his attention to the heat between your thighs. You moaned into his mouth, and he began to guide himself to your entrance. He teased himself against you and sighed, his head dipping back blissfully against the pillow. You smiled at him, the sweetness in his features as he gave in to pleasure. Soon, you were sinking onto his cock, relief flooding you as he filled you. You began to start a gentle rhythm, kissing him as you ground your hips against his. He held you captive in his arms, not wanting to let you sit up and ride him, but to keep you close. Making a split decision, Billy pulled away to murmur, “Let me.”

You stilled your movements and Billy slung an arm around your hips, holding you so he could flip you over.

“I want to make love to you,” he said, kissing into the crook of your neck before colliding your lips again, passionately. He picked up the rhythm you’d started, taking you slow and deep. You moaned, luxuriating in the feeling. It was rare for you two to move this slowly, but you couldn’t deny the sparks that flew.

It was incredible. Everything was laid bare–– you’d given yourselves completely over to each other.

As Billy thrust into you over and over, you began to sigh, voice betraying just how close you were. Your moans mixed with his, voices ringing out like a prayer and you could feel pleasure coil up in your core. He began to speed up, chasing his high and yours, each of you growing more desperate for release by the second. Billy cried out as he came, reaching between your bodies to massage your clit, bringing you over the edge with him.

“Oh, god–– Billy, fuck!”

You came, quivering around him, walls pulsing over his cock, earning a whimper from the boy above you. His movements began to slow as you both rode out your orgasms, and soon he was laying beside you, panting, eyes shut in euphoria. He reached for your hand, not saying anything, and tangled your fingers together.

You turned over, hand still in his, and pressed a kiss into his shoulder. He looked at you, and trailed a hand along your jaw.

“You are so perfect,” he whispered, reaching forward to press a chaste kiss to your forehead. After a moment, he climbed out of bed, returning with a small towel to clean you up.

When you were both settled, tucked against each other and ready to sleep, Billy began to play with your hair.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “Thank you for the mind blowing sex––” you giggled at this, and kissed him. “And thank you for all the love and support you’ve given me.” You stroked the top of his arm.

“I would do it all again in a heartbeat.”

The two of you fell asleep intertwined. When the day broke, you would wake up and face the world together, ready for any challenge it could possibly throw your way.

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove smut #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #and awayyyyy we go #i spent all day writing this i am a cretin

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