#*fix dress* time to find myself some sugar daddies /j

[trimisu]

Me: "God, please give me a sign on what job I should take in the future"

God: "got u fam"

[aphrorose]

Somebody Pray For Me Ch.3

A week passed before I ran into Erik again. It was one of the most gray weeks of my life with Jarvis giving me confused looks as my mood went downhill fast. I had nightmares every night that I wished I couldn’t remember in the morning. Dragging myself from the bed, I looked in the mirror at my vanity and cringed at the face that looked back. The bags on my eyes were big enough for me to go on a month long vacation. ‘Get it together girl” I scolded myself mentally. I tilted my head up and really evaluated myself for the first time in a long time. My eyes are small and my cheeks are round, but overall I have a nice looking face My nose was wide and the tip pointed just a bit,but it looked just like my momma’s.  I smile at my reflection and head to the shower in better spirits. Going to the radio on my bedside table I turn on Feeling Myself  and dance around waiting for the shower to heat up. Jumping in I take my Warm Vanilla Sugar body wash and go to town washing every part of me. Singing loudly as Nicki’s voice gives me life. The song goes off and Cardi B comes on making smile wider. I could already tell this was going to be a better day than I had in a long while. When I step out of the shower my curls were popping and my skin was glowing. Finishing up my moisturizing routine with someCocoa Butter and body spray. I was proud of the effort I put in myself. I dressed in my cute yellow sweater dress and flats. Jarvis” mouth fell open when I skipped my way down the stairs and I knew I had to apologize to my big brother for putting him through my crappy attitude. 

“Hey J.” I say as enthusiastic as possible. His eyebrows raised incredulously at the question. 

“Hey Alaina wassup?” He said in an unsure voice and I just sighed as tears sprang in my eyes.

“I am so sorry for how I’ve been acting lately J. I’m tryna be better,but just give me some time okay?”

I hoped he understood that I was broken and I was gonna start trying to fix myself. I’d be damned if I ran another person away with my issues.

“Hey you know I’m not good with all this emotional shit.” That had me rolling. I knew it was the best reassurance I was gonna get. Grabbing an apple I ran out the door and headed to school. The day passed by in a blur as I was beginning to realize I was waiting for Erik to make his grand entrance. When he didn’t show I tried to keep my focus on the lesson,but I couldn’t seem to control the thoughts swirling in my head. When the final bell rang I trudged through the halls to my locker, my eyes widened when I caught sight of it and more importantly the person cleaning it off. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a black tee with his infamous Jordans. I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. His body jerked before he realized who I was then he stiffened in my arms and I immediately knew I was in for a battle with this apology. 

“So what you just gone hug a nigga after ignoring him for a week?”

 There was anger in his voice,but underneath the anger was hurt. He would never admit it,but it was there clear as day and it broke my heart. This was the same nigga that came to my hospital room and told me exactly how he felt about the situation. I swallowed trying to clear the lump out of my throat.

“I'm sorry,” I mumble pathetically.

“What was that babygirl?”he said smirking down at me.

“I’m sorry nigga” I said with more attitude in my voice, 

“There you go with that damn attitude that’s gonna get you in trouble,”

Instead of gracing him with a response I look back at my locker with the word whore written in red paint all over the front. I shook my head at the foolishness .I held my hand out for one of the washcloths he was holding. He handed it to me kissing his teeth.

“Imma find out who did this and it’s gon be a wrap for them.” he said with an edge I never heard in his voice before. I smiled up at him.

”Aww look at you protecting my honor and shit.” 

He growled at that. “Don’t make me spank your little ass Alaina.” 

My eyes widened as my face heated up. What was wrong with me? I should not like the sound of that as much as I did. We finished up in silence. Making our way to my house in comfortable silence I was once again swallowed up by my thoughts. ‘It's too early to be feeling these things Alaina.’ The nasty voice in my head shouts making my heart hurt. Blinking away the tears I move slightly away from Erik, he immediately grabs my hand stopping me.

“Alaina you gotta stop pulling away from me.” he said in a low voice.

 I look directly into his beautiful brown eyes for the first time and everything slides into place. I reach up and touch his face.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper for hopefully the last time today.

 He didn’t say anything else,but pulled me along by my hand to the house.

“Go and do your homework I’ll make us a snack.” 

He was watching me steadily awaiting my response. Knowing better than to tell him I wasn’t hungry I just nodded my head and went into my room. When he surfaced with two sandwiches and a bowl of Doritos I held back my grimace and smiled thanking him for the food. I turned over and continued with my homework when suddenly a hand landed on my back and I was turned over.

“Why you ain’t eating this good ass food I just slaved over the stove for?”

I quirked an eyebrow at him

“Nigga you just made sandwiches calm the fuck down.”

“That ain’t no answer Alaina and you know it.”

I sighed knowing he wasn’t gonna leave it alone and I was in for an argument. I just wasn’t feeling it. I picked up a single dorito and popped it in my mouth. Erik was staring at my mouth as I chewed and swallowed.

“Happy now?” I say sarcastically..

“No I’m not. You on some other shit if you think this is what you need to do. Why are you doing this to yourself? Can’t you see how crazy this makes me?” He burst from the bed and started pacing the room.

 I felt my hackles raise at his accusatory tone. What did he know? Last time I checked he was not my daddy and had no control over me whatsoever. I took a deep breath counting down from ten so as to not knock this nigga upside the head. “Erik I am fine, I know what I’m doing.” I said in my most ‘I need you to calm the fuck down’ voice. He whirled around stalking toward me with a look I’ve never seen on his face before. It scared me a little, it was too intense too soon. When he just stood there looking at me I felt my face heat up and tears spring into my eyes. Is this when he tells me he finally sees what I’m trying to fix and agrees that I need to lose the weight to be pretty? When a single tear rolls down my face he raises his hand to wipe away the tear noticing the way I automatically flinch away from his hand.  His voice was soft when he said that he was just assessing how much he had to fix before he got to work. I just looked at  him confused, but relieved he wasn’t going to leave me at least for now. He reached for my hand and lead me back to my bed deftly resuming the homework we were given.

It wasn’t hard to settle into a routine with him coming over to my house and doing homework all the while throwing little flirts at each other.It was nothing more than innocent banter  between friends. There was no way a guy like him could like a girl like me. Everytime I brought that fact up his eyes would go cold and he would go extremely quiet until I changed the subject. After a while I stopped asking .He didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon and despite myself I was more than happy to let him stay.