#*extremely seinfeld voice* WHAT'S the DEAL with PERIOD SHITS?

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I've been trying to eat healthier this year, especially after my long weekend in New Orleans where I felt sick to my stomach and had a days-long meltdown from being overstimulated and eating poorly.

Cut to today, I'm walking back from court and I decide to stop at the organic market to try their all-vegan lunch counter. I'm on my period, the most apocalyptic blood torrent day. The elevator from the Shining is a mere trickle compared to the Niagara Falls of uterine lining pouring out of my body. My stomach is cramping, I'm tired, I had to shit like four times before I left the house today. I'm already over it and I still have hours to go before I can go home and do even more work. (Such is life when you own your own business.) So I decide to get the sushi bowl with brown rice, veggies, and miso-glazed tofu, something relatively easy on the stomach that'll fill me up.

I get back to my office and sit down to lunch at my desk... and there's no fucking tofu. I paid $11 for a container of rice, cucumber, seaweed, avocado, and shredded carrot.

Straight up, I might murder someone by the end of the day.