#*curls up under the security desk and cries while sun and moon look on in confusion*

[nalgenewhore]

“E, I’m here,” Lorcan called out from her front hall. “How’re you feeling, love?” 

A pathetic groan was her answer, “Having a uterus is ass.” She heard him snort and a couple moments later, he was appearing in the doorway to her bedroom, a sympathetic tilt to his head. She pouted at him and he laughed, entering her room and walking to her side, where she was curled in the fetal position around her hot water bottle. She noticed the shopping bag he had in his hand and nodded feebly towards it, “What’s in there?” Hellas, her dog, lifted his head from where it had been resting on her hip, whining softly.

Lorcan glanced down at the bag and started pulling out stuff he had gotten her, placing them on her desk. “Diva Cup spray, super pads, the Kodex type, and pantie liners, Midol, you ran out,” he mentioned to her as he put the bottle of pills on her nightstand, just within her reach. “That chocolate thingie you forgot at the store yesterday, remember, you cried when you realized you forgot and the store was closed.” There was a smirk on his lips and that hurt more than she thought it could. It wasn’t funny.

Tears pooled in her eyes at the memory, “You don’t have to say it like that.” She sniffled and he looked up, his face stricken. “You don’t have to be a massive dick about it.” Hellas barked slightly, growling at his owner’s distress and the source of it, her stupid boyfriend.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that, E, I just-” There was a slight edge of laughter to his voice and it cut deep into her. 

“If you’re gonna be like that, you can just leave, I don’t need someone making me feel worse than I already do about things I can’t control.” With that, she turned to her other side, furiously trying to stop her crying. She despised her period, hated how sensitive she was, hated how every movement had her wincing in discomfort. The hot water bottle wasn’t so hot anymore and she groaned, knowing she would have to get up to refill it and she knew that the move to vertical would make her nauseous and dizzy. 

The mattress shifted and the duvet was pulled up as Lorcan settled behind her, tugging her slowly enough so that she could push him off if she wanted but Elide let him pull her to his chest, his arms wrapping around her waist snugly but not too tightly. “I’m sorry, E. I shouldn’t have said it like that, I know how much you hate your period and I wish I could make it all go away, mahasani.” 

“Och,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “You asshole, stop making me cry.” 

Lorcan laughed and the sound vibrated through his chest and into her back, “Do you forgive me?” 

“Yes, I forgive you,” she said, the smile on her face swept off when Lorcan pulled her hot water bottle away, “What the literal fuck do you think you-” 

He chuckled as his warm hands slipped under her hoodie and pressed into her stomach, exactly where her cramp was. “You’re feisty today.” 

“Yesh, well, shedding your uterus will do that to a gal,” she said, no bite in her words as his hands rubbed her stomach, just enough pressure directly below her belly button that her discomfort was soothed away. Elide sighed and relaxed fully against him, her head falling back onto his shoulder. “Mmm, that feels nice.” Her hands found their way into Hellas’ thick fur, stroking softly.

“Yeah?” he asked and she felt his smile in her neck. 

“Mm-hmm.” She sighed and her eyes fell shut, “I’m gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that.” Lorcan practically glowed with pride, Elide hardly slept while during her cycle, her pain kept her up even after her meds. “Thank you, baby,” she whispered as she let slumber drag her under. 

When she woke up, the snow was still falling outside and her lamp was casting a soft glow about her room. Her arms were wrapped around Hellas, the Husky sleeping soundly. Lorcan was nowhere to be seen and she was covered in a pile of warm blankets. There was something heated on her stomach and she felt around, realizing it was her electric blanket that she thought she had lost. 

Elide heard someone moving around in the main room of her apartment and slowly swung her legs out of bed, noting the glass of water and two little pill stamped with ‘Midol’. She smiled and noticed her pain wasn’t as bad, electing to leave them there as she stood and put her glasses on before she slowly shuffled out of her room. 

Lorcan was standing in her kitchen, and he turned when she shut her door, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Hi, there. Feeling better?” 

Elide nodded and approached him before wrapping her arms around his waist. “Yeah, I thought I lost my electric blanket.” 

“Oh, that? I got a new one ‘cause I know how much you loved your old one.” He said it so casually but Elide squealed in delight. 

“You did?” 

Lorcan laughed, “Yeah, you were full-on sobbing when you couldn’t find it.” 

Elide sighed, the sound wavering as tears pricked her eyes again and her throat tightened. “We don’t need to talk about that right now.” He smiled and wiped her tears away, leaning down to kiss her softly. “Ok?” 

“Ok.” He nipped her bottom lip and pulled away, “You hungry?” 

“Fucking starving.” She laughed and looked around him to where there was a plate of grilled-cheese sandwiches and a mug of steaming tea. “How did you know that’s what I wanted?” 

Lorcan grinned and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, “You know, your cravings are really predictable, E. It’s the same thing every month.” 

She pouted and crossed her arms, “I’m not that obvious about it.” Lorcan rose a brow as he passed her her mug of tea, huffing a laugh when she sipped and sighed in bliss. “I don’t care how obvious I am, this tea is worth it.” 

Lorcan chuckled as he grabbed her plate of sandwiches and guiding her to the couch, where there was a pile of pillows and blankets for her. “Sit down, babe. I got something for you.” 

“Oh?” she questioned, scrunching her nose as she curled into the corner of the couch, her tea held securely in her hands, the steam wafting from it fogging her glasses. “What’d ya get?” 

“You’ll see,” he told her as he crouched in front of her TV and joined her shortly after. Lorcan pulled her legs over his lap and rubbed her thigh with his thumbs. 

He turned his head and looked down at her, waiting till she looked up at him and smiled, “Thank you for coming over.” She rested her head on his shoulder, batting her eyes at him.

“Even though I’ve made you cry, I think, twice now?” 

Elide laughed and nodded, “Even if you’ve made me cry twice now. So,” she put her tea on the coffee table and nestled into his chest, “What’s your surprise?” 

He pressed a sweet kiss on her forehead, “Close your eyes, princess.” She was buzzing with excitement as she bit her lip and closed her eyes, her lashes brushing against her specs. 

She opened them when she heard the first note of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song and she cried out in happiness, “What. They took it off of Netflix, how did you find it, I can’t believe you found it, I’m-” She cut herself off to clap along and then laugh, falling back against him. “I’m so happy right now, you cannot even imagine.” She held his hands to her chest, squeezing them periodically as the show continued to play. 

It had taken him days to find the complete box-set of DVD’s for Elide’s favourite comfort-food show. She had been so sad when Netflix had taken it down and moped around her apartment days afterwards. 

She’d told him she hadn’t cried but he knew that she had definitely burst into a puddle of tears when she couldn’t find it and had ranted to him about how Netflix and Apple were evil corporations that didn’t care about their customers and only thought about making the most money after she had found out that to buy the entire show would cost her over one hundred dollars. 

It’s ridiculous, Lorcan! It’s criminal, is what it is, how could they do this to their customers? Why would they do this to me, I’m a good person, I’m environmentally conscious, I’m vegetarian, I don’t have a car and walk or take public transit most places, I am a tax paying citizen, I’m never late to pay my bills, I’m a fucking kindergarten teacher, for Anneith’s sake, my dog is a rescue, why would they do this to me? 

Now, he wasn’t watching the show at all. Instead, his eyes were on Elide, the woman that he was sure was the one he would marry, the love of his life, the sun to his days, the stars and moon to his nights. His throat tightened as she eventually drifted off, her grilled-cheese left untouched on the coffee table. “Iyótaŋčhila, Elide Lochan.” I love you, Elide Lochan.

“What’d ya say?” Her voice was thick with sleep like warm honey sitting in a glass jar.

Shit. Fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuck, she had been asleep, she had fallen asleep on his chest and he knew it because Lorcan Salvaterre knew what it felt like to have her sleeping next to him. “I, I just…” he trailed off, his heart slamming in his chest. Elide slowly pulled herself up, her eyes wide and her brows raised. Lorcan bowed his head and rested it on her clavicle, “I love you, Elide.” 

“You do?” Elide’s voice was thick with tears once more and filled with wonder. “You love me?” 

Lorcan raised his head, their noses brushing as he nodded, “Elide Syeira Lochan, I love you.” 

She gasped and her eyes lined with silver. Elide brushed her thumb over his high cheekbone, “Kamav tut, I love you too, Lorcan Ohitekah Salvaterre, I love you so gods-damned much.” His eyes were brimming with tears as he smiled and they spilled down his cheeks and so did hers, “Stop making me cry, bengalo.”

Lorcan’s lips pulled into a wide smile as he laughed and it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard as he kissed her slowly, “I’m sorry, E. Will you forgive me?” 

“Hmm, I think I’ll have to think on that, my love, your offences have been rather egregious lately,” she mused, tilting her head up to brush her lips against him. Elide cackled when he stuck his bottom lip out and made his eyes wide and sad. 

“Pretty please?” He pouted and somehow made tears pool in his eyes, though she knew that they were fake. “With sugar on top?” 

Elide huffed in a joking way and rolled her eyes, “Oh, I guess I can find it in my soul to forgive you.” 

“Thank Hellas for that.” 

++++++

Translations: I used Lakota (Sioux) for Lorcan’s mother tongue and Romany for Elide’s!

Lakota:

Mahasani: Term of endearment, translates to ‘my other skin’ 

Iyótaŋčhila: ‘I love you’

Ohitekah: Lakota name that means ‘fierce or war-like’

Romany:

Kamav tut: ‘I love you’ 

Bengalo: Idiot 

Syeira: Romany name, means ‘princess’ 

@myfeyrelady @kandasboi @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @highqueenofelfhame @westofmoon @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @city-of-fae @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @tswaney17​

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

Burnout

A/N: Hello children, it’s angst time again. I think I tortured Roman enough. Virgil was my instinct, but that bab’s already been tortured by me, too, so. It was Lo or Pat, and I want to protect Patton with every ounce of my being, so it’s Lolo’s turn. Plus, the inspiration for this was “Say Something” by Great Big World, and I feel like that’s a good one for Lolo angst. 

Summary: There’s been a lot going on in the Sides’ world lately, and Logan will learn that he doesn’t take proper care of himself, it’ll come back to bite him. (Post-12 Days of Christmas video/Holiday time setting)

Word Count: 1,360

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman, Patton (platonic/familial)

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, with a nice dash of Fluff

Warnings: stress, physical discomfort (trouble breathing, heavy chest), crying, panic (no attacks) 

Tags:  @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch  @ssides @pantasticpanini @anxious-but-whatever @celiawhatsherlastname @misc-merde  @anxiousoddish @didsomeonesayprince @fandomsofrandom @leesacrakon (let me know if I missed anyone or if you want to be removed from my general tag list.)

They say there’s no rest for the wicked, but what about those who aren’t wicked, just...overworked?

Logan would have told you he was fine, that the late nights, the pushed deadlines, the constant striving for better didn’t phase him, but...little did he know, something was coming.

It started in the pit of his stomach, in the very bottom of his gut, like the quiet gurgling that signals the initial beginnings of intense hunger. It was like a tight, but formless, ball of energy, heavy and heavily felt. 

Logan was sitting at his desk, halfway through a relatively painless scheduling process, when it all came to a head.

He’d been able to ignore it at first, chocking it up to the residual results of all the Christmas cookies Thomas ate the night before, but as that dark orb spread from his gut to his chest, Logan knew something was wrong.

His heart, his ribs, his chest felt weighted, and his breathing came out slow and labored. He stared blankly at his work before him, unable to make his eyes focus on the pages much less his neat script etched on them. An exhaustion he’d never known swept through his entire being, and he suddenly felt the overwhelming need to cry.

What on earth was this? What was happening to him? What was this feeling...

He forced himself to sit up, and he lowered himself to the carpet, breathing deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to empty his mind of any thoughts, to transcend to a meditative state. Just when he felt the sweet tendrils of release brush across his mind, that nasty little ball surged in ferocity and nearly sent tears pouring out of his eyes.

His shoulders leading the way, Logan allowed his body to fall to the side, and he curled into himself on the floor, just breathing and staring.

“Perhaps I could just...ride this out...” He thought himself, slowly allowing his eyes to fall closed just as a knock sounded at his door.

“Hey, Logan-” Virgil pushed open the door, one side of his headphones on and the other off; the Anxious Side pulled up short when he absorbed the sight on Logan’s floor. “Oh my god, are you okay?” Virgil was on the floor next to him in an instant, a tentative hand on Logan’s leg as the Anxious trait searched him for physical ailments. 

Logan just stared ahead, his eyes locked on his dresser.

“Hey, Logan? Logan?! Lo, can you hear me? Please, if you can, lift up your right pointer finger.” Slowly, but surely, Logan lifted the appointed appendage, and Virgil sighed with relief, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, I know you can hear me...are you hurt? Thumb if yes, pointer finger if no.”

He didn’t raise either finger.

“Logan, please, work with me, here.” Virgil swallowed and took in a deep breath, willing himself not to panic. Logan’s had breakdowns before; they handled the others, and they could handle this one, too. 

“I...don’t know that I am...hurt, necessarily.” Logan finally whispered, tears suddenly pricking at the corners of his eyes. “I just...feel...odd...”

“Odd how? Where do you feel weird?”

“My...chest. My stomach. My head.”

“Are you sick?”

Logan would have laughed at this normally. “No, Virgil....Sides-”

“Cut that crap; I had a migraine yesterday.”

“No, not sick...just...I feel...heavy? I feel so tired. I cannot focus. I want to...I want to cry, for some reason, but....no reason....There is no reason for me to cry, but I want to.”

“Are you sure there isn’t? The stress, maybe? The videos? The holidays? We haven’t been taking the best care of ourselves...or Thomas...” Virgil started when he realized there were tears rolling down Logan’s cheeks; soft, hiccuping cries barely escaping his lips. “Oh, man, Lo-”

“Hey, there, Teach I could use a little feedback on this-” Roman burst through the door, a stack of pages in hand, but he immediately froze, wide-eyed, when he saw Logan. “Virgil, what-”

“Not my fault.” Virgil quipped, shrinking into his hoodie.

“I never said it was; I was just going to ask what is going on here.” 

“Not sure.” Virgil’s gaze fell on Logan, a sad tilt to his eyes. “Just found him like this. Well, on the floor. The crying kinda happened after I tried to figure out what was wrong.”

“I see...” Roman carefully set his papers on Logan’s desk and crossed around the other two, setting himself on the carpet across from Virgil. “Logan, Teach, what’s going on?”

“He’s not sure. He feels....let’s see...heavy, and tired, and just like he wants to cry. Not real reason for it, he claims...”

“Mmm, odd indeed, this kind of episode seems more up your alley than his.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“It wasn’t a jab, just a simple-”

“Well hey there, everybody, are y’all in here having a party without me?” Patton knocked lightly at the door and slowly opened it, peeking his head around the wood with a broad grin. The smile vanished the instant he saw the looks on Roman and Virgil’s faces, and then he was on the floor, cradling Logan in his arms before he could say anything more. 

Safe in Patton’s hold, held firmly and securely, Logan wept, his body trembling violently, but his cries were barely audible as the tears continued to pour down his face and onto Patton’s polo. The first time this happened, the other three had worried he was crying so hard he couldn’t make a sound, but by now they knew that Logan was a quiet crier, years of silently breaking on his own having trained him this way.

“Oh, Logan, honey...” Patton murmured; he closed his eyes and rested his chin on the crown of Logan’s head, slowly and gently rocking them back and forth as Logan continued to sob. Virgil moved forward and gently rubbed slow circles on Logan’s back to help ground him, and Roman quietly hummed "Baby Mine” to the rhythm of Patton’s swaying. 

After a while, Logan had cried himself out, and he merely lay in Patton’s embrace, sniffling softly and completely exhausted now.

“You okay?” Roman whispered, taking notice of the end of the flow.

“I...believe so.” Logan sighed, making no move to sit up just yet. “I am now thoroughly exhausted, however.”

“Understandable.” Virgil replied. “I think...you’re burned out, Lo. I think that’s what all of this is: burnout. We’ve been pretty busy, and when I brought it up, that’s what set you off, so...That, with the feelings and exhaustion and crying. I think you just overworked yourself, and you haven’t had or taken the time to properly recover just yet.”

“Perhaps...that sounds appropriate. Well-deduced, Virgil.” Logan gave him a small smile. “And thank you all for assisting me. I...think I am alright now.”

“Are you sure?” Patton asked, looking down at his charge. 

“We can stay with you.” Virgil put in, his hand still on Logan’s back.

“Or we could move into the Commons for some R&R.” Roman proposed. “We haven’t seen Big Hero Six in a while-”

“I’d really love some more of those Christmas cookies from Thomas’s Aunt Patty...” Patton mused.

“Popcorn sounds tasty right about now.” Virgil offered.

“It’s settled then!” Roman pushed himself to his feet. “Movie night it is, starting with Big Hero Six!”

“That sounds...acceptable.” Logan smiled, more genuinely this time, and he sat himself up from Patton’s lap. 

“Wonderful!” Roman snapped them all into their favorite pajamas, and they set off for the Commons, the air feeling physically lighter around them as they went.

Popcorn in Virgil’s lap, cookies under Patton’s watch, and Logan comfortably nestled between the two Sides, they spent the rest of the evening in blissful rest with one another. 

If Logan cried a little during Big Hero Six, and if he and Patton cried a little together during Tarzan, no one mentioned it.

The full moon of midnight found him dozing on Patton’s shoulder, and the early morning rays of the sun found all of them fast asleep in their corners of the sofa, save for Logan and Patton, the latter’s arms never having left the Logical Side alone or vulnerable for the rest of the night. 

All of my Sanders Sides fanfics

[harvest-is-tired]

Imma drink your grape juice

😭