#*HONKS MY MASSIVE CLOWN NOSE HONK HONK*

[gcldfanged]

This is very hard to describe, but your writing doesn't exactly feel like I'm reading something. It's more like I watch a scene unfold because your writing flows so nicely from thoughts to actions and other descriptions. In some replies you also hook onto all senses to bring the reader into the scene and honestly by the time I realise I am reading your stuff, I already reached the end. I don't often read writing that hooks me from the first word to the last like that lol

[Oh my god, I genuinely do not know how to respond to this other than "thank you so much" and "THANK GOD I MANAGED TO DO THE SENSES THING" because I really focus on that when I make starters for example- I want my partner to know what's going on concretely and has plenty of things to notice or look at and just RESPOND to and I run around in a little mental circle being like "was that enough, do I need to edit, is this okay, do they hate it-" like a socially anxious clown.]

[mothlover69]

*clears throat* I have a question for the Silly Clown Man.

Buggy! What's your favorite thing (or things) about Jinx? Also...Does your nose make a honking sound if someone squishes it?

*runs away*

-🍓StrawberrySelfShips

Hey, I know you... you're with those straw hats 🤨

Anyway... my favorite thing about Jinx, eh? Oh definitely that massive pair of- uh, I mean, their sense of humor and the fact that they always laugh at my jokes even when they're trying not to >:O) but also, i obviously love every single thing about them!

Wait, whAT WAS THAT ABOUT MY NOSE?? HUH?? 😡 GET BACK HERE-

@strawberryselfships

[kookaburra1701]

WIP Wheneversday - Nostos

tagged by @dirty-bosmer @mareenavee @paraparadigm @gilgamish and @changelingsandothernonsense

I am tagging @greyborn2 and @thana-topsy mainly because I've been screaming in Discord about my new OC so they get tags too. Also Khemor would likely have never existed in his final form without the absolutely inspiring works by @greyborn2 featuring Kesh gra-Bruma.

I just want everyone to know, this is all @mareenavee's fault. An "innocent" question about what Borgakh's ideal future would look like after Aristeia is done and suddenly 48 hours later I'm writing a sequel when I haven't even finished the second chapter???? I am a clown. This is me putting on my big red shoes and big red nose and honking a silly horn and squirting a flower all over my massive WIP pile.

Fandom: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Rating: T (blood and violence, mushy stuff [kissin' not viscera])

Category: M/F

Genre(s): Romance

Main characters: Borgakh the Steel Heart, Khemor gro-Skaven (Male orc LDB)

Summary: Khemor gro-Skaven, Thane of Eastmarch and The Pale, Last Dragonborn, Vanquisher of Alduin, Confidant of the High King of Skyrim, and disgraced former Magus of the College of Whispers thought that after he defeated Alduin, he would not have to worry about anything more dangerous than a papercut for the rest of his life. When Jarl of the Pale asks him to investigate the destruction of the Hall of the Vigilants, it sets off a chain of events that ultimately leads him to wash up at the feet of the woman of his dreams. But what can a crippled conjuration mage-scholar half again her age possibly offer to a future Shield-Wife?

The pain was blinding. Khemor's knees buckled, and Borgakh made a noise of fear and started forward as if to catch him but Serana was faster, her shoulder under his arm, one knee bracing his leg.

"No, keep your hands on it!" Khemor hissed through gritted teeth. Borgakh's hands tightened over his, pressing them into the soul gem.

Magicka burned its way down his arms, dammed behind his palms, searching for a way into the rough, uncut gem.

There it is! All soul gems had a natural entry point, almost always obliterated in the process of faceting them. But if you had a natural, uncut gem, and the talent and patience to find the entry point, the soul would flow into it effortlessly, like a river finding the sea.

The pain faded as the flow of magicka -- the flow of his soul-- was released into the stone. It left behind an acute weariness, and despite Serana's support Khemor sank to his knees. Borgakh still clasped his hands around the soul gem, and he looked up into her eyes.

The naked fear they held was so alien to him in the context of her features that he almost reached out automatically to touch her face, to reassure her. But she was not concerned with herself, she was fearful for him. And there was no reassurance he could give that he would be alright.

"Khemor, that's enough," Serana's voice cut through the spell Borgakh's eyes had held him in. He cut off the flow of magicka into the stone. A chill had settled in his chest, as if cold hands were gripping his heart. But as he withdrew from the stone, leaving it cradled in Borgakh's hands, the sharpness of the cold diminished, as if he was huddled next to a small fire in a snowstorm.

"Oh!" she said in surprise. "It's...warm. It's like a heartbeat."

Khemor reached up, and covered her hands with his own, he looked into her face beseechingly. "You hold my heart and soul in your hands, Borgakh the Steel-Heart. Please," his voice dropped into a husky whisper. "Please don't let them break." He pushed the stone against her chest. "Keep them safe."

The kindness and determination in her face as she nodded sent another bloom of fleeting warmth that forced the chill farther away from his heart.

The hardness of the flagstones against his shins brought Khemor back to himself, and the fact that he was on his knees, gripping Borgakh's hands, staring into her eyes and begging her to take care of his heart. He forced himself to release her, and accepted Serana's assistance to rise shakily to his feet.

Leaning on his staff, Khemor faced the swirling, violet abyss that yawned below them, the steps leading into it like a narrow tongue inviting him into the maw of Oblivion. He could not meet Borgakh's eyes, but as she carefully opened her gambeson and placed the now-glowing soul gem into an inner pocket, next to her heart, a peace settled over him. No matter what awaited him on the other side of the portal, his soul was with Borgakh.

As he placed his foot upon the threshold of the steps, a hand gripped his arm. Khemor didn't turn, but reached up to cover it with his own.

"Return safely to me, Khemor gro-Skaven."

Khemor said nothing, but took Borgakh's hand in his and with a final squeeze shared between them, let her fingers slip from his as he descended the stairs into the realm of the Ideal Masters.

[anonymusbosch]

anyways. shoutout to the EV charging stations that have massive solar panel stands to shade the cars while also providing green power, and dark shoutout to the EV charging lot next to one of the few coal plants remaining in California that I just passed on the train. You're a parody and a mockery. California's coal gen is 0.2% of its total power consumption and yet some of it is in my neighborhood. you Have to honk your clown nose about it

[soupza]

this fic is for those 2 anons who begged for this

pairing: wendy x ronald mcdonald [ THIS IS SMUT !! DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO !!]

ronald mcdonald was stressed.

business was bad. all his competitors had more customers than him. no one even went to eat at mcdonald’s anymore. the worst part is, people seemed to be flocking to wendy’s.

ah, wendy’s. his worst rival. she was so arrogant, and frustrating, and pretty- pretty? where did that come from?

nevermind. ronald was gonna bounce back any day now. he ran a hand through his red hair and sighed. what was something he could do to get people to come back to him? who could resist the golden arches of mcdonalds? 

suddenly, an idea struck him. he would go and intimidate wendy into shutting down! it was the perfect plan. he would be able to bring back people to his place if wendy’s wasn’t there anymore! 

he put on his massive clown shoes and got inside his car. he honked twice, for good luck, and started heading to wendy’s.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“ronald! it’s been so long, how have you been?” wendy said in a sickly sweet voice as ronald walked through the door. he groaned internally. wendy, with her perfect two pigtails and glowy skin kept smiling at him.

“listen wendy, can we talk?” ronald said.

“we’re talking right now silly!” wendy giggled and tapped his nose. “but if you meant somewhere private, follow me!”

wendy walked through a door behind the counter and ronald followed. she led him down a corridor and opened the door at the end of it.

“this is my apartment! i guess it is kind of weird when you live at your restaurant, but it saves money!” 

ronald looked around. there was a couch with a table in the front, and a bed in the corner. 

“take a seat!” wendy pushed ronald on the couch and crouched in front of him. “so, what do you want?”

ronald’s heart started beating exceptionally fast. he had never been this close to wendy before. he could smell her perfume, which was like hot, crispy, just made fries. 

he turned his head to the side and muttered “i kinda sorta want you to shut down your stores so that i can get my business back up and running.”

but, wendy only heard the first part. she grabbed hold of his jaw and made him look at her. “you… want me?”

ronald could barely make a coherent sentence. “i mean, yes, but like, like i need you to-”

“what do you need me to do, ronnie?” wendy whispered leaning closer to him.

ronald’s brain stopped working at that moment. all he could think of was how good wendy would make him feel. all thoughts about intimidating wendy to shut down her business flew out of his head. he blurted out “i need you inside of me.”

wendy dragged up ronald by his shirt collar and dragged him to the bed.

“wow ronnie-boo, how long have you wanted this?” wendy asked as she pushed ronald onto the bed face-down and ripped off his shirt.

“i- a while wendy, just please make me feel good, use me any way you want, i’ll do anything just make me feel good wendy please…”

wendy let out a dark chuckle and pulled off his pants. “alright then. but you have to be good.” 

ronald could hear the click of a bottle opening and felt wendy crawl behind him. she hoisted his ass up and spread his cheeks apart. he shivered at the feeling of cold air drifting over him. 

wendy shoved a first finger in harshly and moved it around. “mm. ronnie, you’re so tight around me. can’t believe you didn’t ask for this sooner. but i know you ronald. i know you’ve always secretly wanted me. and now you have me. isn’t this fucking wonderful?”

ronald moaned as wendy worked two fingers inside of him. his white and red face paint got smeared with sweat, turning him into a warped version of himself. he gripped the bedsheets and ground his hips into the mattress, but then felt a sharp pain on his scalp.

“didn’t i ask you to be good ronnie-boo?” wendy said, cruelly, as she gripped his hair even tighter. 

ronald knew that he shouldn’t be enjoying this, that he shouldn’t enjoy being used like a toy, that he shouldn’t enjoy the way wendy stretches him out just right

. but he wanted, no he needed to be fucked like this.

“ah- um- yes-” ronald spit out. wendy shoved his head back down into the pillow, curling her fingers just right and hitting his prostate. ronald screamed, his voice becoming hoarse from all the sounds he was making.

wendy removed her fingers, and ronald whined at the loss of them, but suddenly became excited as he knew what would happen next.

he craned his neck towards the side of the bed, where wendy was attaching something to her front. 

it was long and shining with lube, and as wendy stepped closer to him he could see how amazingly thick it was. ronald was drooling already.

wendy roughly turned him over onto his back and shoved the strap-on in roughly. ronald moaned and gasped, writhing all over the place.

“aw, you’re such a pain slut, aren’t you ronnie? such a good pain slut for me.” wendy started thrusting in and out of him with superhuman speed. 

ronald was gasping for air, he could barely breathe. why, why did it feel so good?

wendy kept going until ronald started whimpering. he was so close, he needed to cum-

wendy suddenly pulled out and wrapped her hand around the base of his cock.

“pl-please let me come… please wend-wendy i’ve been so good please wendy please,”

she smiled and looked at him. “on one condition.”

“w-what?”

“say it.”

“say what?”

“you know what. say it.” she whispered.

“i’m- i- i’m-” he stammered out.

wendy gave a cruel flick to the tip of his cock, still keeping a hand around its base.

“i’m mclovin it!” he screamed, and wendy removed her hands from around him, leaving ronald to thrust his hips up as cum splattered on his chest and stomach.

wendy pulled away and got up off of the bed, wiping her hand with the tissues by the side and removing her strap-on.

ronald, in his post-orgasmic haze, could barely make coherent words. as wendy walked to the door, she turned back to the bed and whispered “fucking pathetic.” 

as she left, ronald felt himself coming back to his body. all he felt now were feelings of shame and regret, but a bit of hopefulness.

ronald really wanted wendy to use him like that again.

[ask-hannah-blog]

This clown shit is getting crazy. I HATED feet my whole life, and I wanted to borrow a pair of shoes from my girlfriend since I my feet swelled to the same size as she used to have (we're both infected, her a bit farther along than me) and the second I get into her shoe closet i get overwhelmed by this insane MUSK. This crazy sweet and overpowering smell that just screams "CLOWN" and I can't help myself. I go to town on her shoes and lost track of time in the process. I must have been at it for hours. Left clown jizz all over her favorite pairs and I didn't even care. I was HAPPY. Chuckling to myself without a care in the world. No thoughts head empty just FEET. I started wiggling my own toes mesmerized by how huge and sexy and smelly they looked and as I was about to bring them to my waiting nose and mouth I heard a loud thump. I'm broken out of my daze and go to check up on it hearing the sound if my soles slapping on the floor and I feel a deep sense of need with every sensitive step only to find my girlfriend fallen over, her huge honking red nose face first into MY shoe collection. Her massive ass was staring back at me, 2 huge orbs like a full moon before she farts in my face and chuckles to herself for no reason in particular. Immediately I'm wet again. I gotta make her laugh, the love of my life, my stupid fatass. I slap her ass and watch it wobble like jelly before I realize how long my fingernails are. Then I stare at the wide expanse of white creamy sole right underneath her butt. I put 2 and 2 together and start tickling her like my life depends on it. She goes in frenzy. I never heard her laugh that hard before in my life, she only ever stopped to to take another deep whiff of my shoes. I do the same and occasionally enjoy the delicate stink wafting from her long soles. We were in heaven. We cummed harder and longer than ever before in our lives. We were 2 stupid huge footed clown lesbos and the only thing that mattered in that moment was how fucking funny everything was. And how happy we were to make each other laugh. I can't go back. Won't go back. I flushed my pills down the toilet, and I recommend you do the same. Goodbye Honkers, I'm gonna fuck my hot clown girlfriend until I can make her cum from a balloon animal dildo.

You won't miss being a human when you realize the bliss you're missing out on

JFC…

[eldiablomuerto]

this jetset life is gonna kill you - my chemical romance. 

[dannyisdone]

Day 7: Clowns

Roman replayed the conversation he had accidentally overhead in his mind, his regressed brain trYing to process it as best that he could.

“He’s such a clown.” Janus had said to Remus as soon as Patton left the room. Roman had started to follow after his Dad, but stopped just outside of the threshold when he heard Janus speak. Immediately he was on the defensive. His Dad was notta a Clown! He was silly sometimes, maybe even goofy-silly a lotta times. And he knew some magic tricks…

“Yeah, but he’s your clown.” Virgil had responded back.

“That he is. But don’t tell him that.” Janus said with a chuckle. Roman frowned. Was his Dad really a clown? And did he perform only for Janus?

Roman sat on the floor as he pondered the conundrum. A whole lot of minutes had passed since he’d started thinking about it, probably even more than 8, and that was so many minutes! And he still didn’t know! Was his Dad a clown?

Clowns were funny, and his Dad was funny. But clowns also wore makeup, and Patton didn’t do that very much. But they juggled sometimes! And Dad kinda knew how to juggle. And he knew how to fit a lotta stuff in a tiny car. Maybe Dad was a clown…?

But how could he prove it?! And how could he do it without Janus finding out? He didn’t think it was very fair that Janus got to keep Patton’s clownery all to himself. He wanted to see his Dad juggle and dance and OH! And his Dad’s shoes are MASSIVE. Of course his Dad was a clown! It all made sense now!

He was just missing one thing…

A honk!

All clowns honked. It was clown law, Roman was fairly certain. If he pinched his Dad’s nose, it would honk really loudly, and surely that would be such convicting evidence his Dad would have to admit it right on the spot! It was the perfect plan!

Roman stood up and hurried off towards the stairs, eager to know once and for all if his Dad was a clown! It was the question of the year! No, the decade! No!! the century! He’d wanted to know since forever and now he was for sure going to find out!

Roman found Patton standing outside his room chatting with Logan. Well, that was no good. If Logan heard Patton honk, he would definitely go tell everyone! Probably claim it was a science-tific discovery. Roman would have to be super clever to figure this one out.

“Dad!” Roman yelled, gaining the two’s attention. Patton smiled brightly at Roman, and that was only making him feel more and more confident that his Dad was a secret clown.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Patton asked. Roman bounced over, standing right behind Patton and setting his chin on his shoulder.

“Lolo, I saw Remus playing with one of your ruby cubes down stairs.” Roman feigned tattling. He knew the ruse wouldn’t last long, but he just needed Patton to himself long enough so he could test his honking abilities.

“My rubix cubes? That’s quite alright. I know he enjoys stimming, and so long as he’s taking care of them properly I don’t min--”

“He gots it in his mouth! He’s trying to solve it with his tongue, like dis!” Roman stuck his tongue and wiggled it a bit, but Logan immediately turned his gaze away.

“The visual presentation was unnecessary, Roman. But thank you for informing me. I’ll have to go talk to him. If he’s going to put something in his mouth, he needs to sanitize it first. Excuse me.”

Logan quickly left. Patton let him go with a wave, but turned slightly, maneuvering Roman off his shoulder and facing him.

“Is that all you wanted? My big brave prince protecting Logan’s possessions?” Patton teased, poling Roman in the tummy. He giggled and shook his head, before leaning in close towards Patton, lowering his voice.

“Do you have a secret, Dad? One that only Janus knows?” Roman asked. Maybe his Dad would just tell him. After all, Roman was an amazing secret keeper, the bestest in the world! And this was his DAD. Dads told their kiddos everything! Patton’s face turned a bit red.

“W-what are you talking about, buddy?” He asked. Roman rolled his eyes, wasn’t it obvious?

“You know! The secret! The thing you only do for Janus?”

Patton’s whole face went red and he looked away. Roman frowned. Why wouldn’t his Dad tell him? It wasn’t a big deal! He loved clowns! And he loved his Daddy!

“Honey, I don’t think I’m fully understanding what you’re talking about.” His Dad continued to deny it. Well, fine! Roman would just have to reveal it, and then he’d know and then his dad could show him all his jokes and tricks and stinky Janus wouldn’t get them all to himself anymore!

“This!” Roman declared, before reaching forward and pressing his finger down on Patton’s nose.

The two stood in silence, staring at each other.

Silence…

“Why didn’t it work?” Roman asked, beginning to tap Patton’s nose repeatedly.

“Roman, what in the world--”

Patton was interrupted by footsteps climbing up the stairs. Roman turned around and saw Logan and Janus standing behind him. Logan had his arms crossed. Uh oh…

“Would you care to repeat to Janus what you told me, Roman?” Logan asked. Roman felt his face burn with shame and he shook his head no, smartly not saying a word.

“Remus was taking a nap, no Rubix cubes to be found. Pray tell, little one, why did you lie?” Janus asked in his mean old caregiver voice that wasn’t actually mean but made Roman feel smaller and guilty. Tears pricked his eyes.

“I just wanna’d know wha’ Daddy does for you.” Roman whimpered. Janus’s eyebrow quirked up.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Roman opened his mouth to answer, but Patton was quick to intervene.

“I don’t know if that should be said out loud.” His Daddy said, his voice cracking a bit. Janus and Logan looked really confused, and now Roman felt very very very guilty.

“I love you Dada,” Roman wept, clinging to his Daddy tightly. “Even if you’re a clown. M’sorry! M’sorry I lied m’sorry!” Roman cried and cried. He didn’t want his Daddy to be ashamed of being a clown, he didn’t want everyone to be mad at him for telling a fib because he wasn’t trying to be mean he just wanted to know!

“What?” Everyone else said at the exact same time. Patton wrapped his arms around Roman and hugged him close.

“I know. I know it. I hearded Jana call you his clown. M’sorry!” Roman cried, burying his face in Patton’s neck. The room was quiet for a moment, before he felt his Daddy’s chest rumble with laughter.

“What?” He barked out with a laugh. Roman peeked out of his Daddy’s neck and looked over at Janus, his face burning.

“It was…In context it…I…” Janus was at a loss for words, which was pretty rare. Roman sniffled and looked back at Logan.

“Sorry for lyin’. Wanted t’see if Daddy would honk.” Roman explained, which elicited more laughter from Patton, and Roman caught Logan smile slightly. He wasn’t sure what he was saying that had everyone laughing so much…

“I know you’re sorry. Thank you for apologizing, and I forgive you.” Logan said, and Roman felt so so so much better. He would never ever ever lie again, not even to find secret clowns.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ok weird request but can I ask for head cannons of malak, dread duckies, the clowns, and murder monkeys, reacting to a mortal who isn’t taking any of their situation seriously. Like yes their collecting shards; but as they run their laughing at weirdness of it all and asking questions and just goofing around until they escape.

Malak

He sees this Mortal venture through each realm, collecting the shards and ring pieces.

Yet what baffles him is not their progress but rather they don't seem scared or even the least bit worried about their predicament.

They're just running around and laughing, like the realms are some playground.

It feels insulting and he decides to show up early on in his phantom form, determined to make them shut up for good.

But not even he scares the Mortal, as they just turn around like "woah..are you supposed to be a jack o'lantern?"

He's so perplexed it takes him a moment to realize they ran off with the ring piece and bellows in rage before chasing them.

Back in the ballroom, Bierce is having quite the laugh.

Dread Duckies

The Mortal decides to go on a "side-mission" of smacking as many traffic cones off the Duckies as possible.

Obviously this earns some of their ire as they spring up and chase after them.

But this Mortal just laughs at their silly dances, even stopping to mimic them (quacking included), which confuses the Duckies further bc it's meant to intimidate/mock them if anything.

Still though, they carry on in their deceitfulness in attempts to corner the Mortal, especially when they're running away from Doom Ducky.

They just stop once to say "oh were ya'll roadworkers in your past lives? sure hope you were" and laugh (until the roar of the giant duck reminds them of the peril they're in).

Clown Gremlins

Of course, in a carnival-setting this Mortal's not gonna take anything seriously. They're having a lot of fun, actually!

Even the clowns are in on it.

They wanna see their victims die laughing before they realize they're being cornered.

Yet this Mortal evades their swarms and traps with no problems.

Once they used Primal Fear to stun a Gremlin and they just honked the red nose before grinning and taking off (and proceed to do this for all the ones they've stunned).

Even the massive Goliaths don't terrify them as they just swing the hammer around and kill them.

Ngl the surviving clowns are disappointed when they leave. This Mortal was quite fun.

Murder Monkeys

In the first realm, this Mortal clearly doesn't (or refuses to) acknowledge the deadly situation they're in.

"Get shards, get the ring piece, avoid the--wait are those monkeys?????"

They see a monkey coming around the corner and act like they're a lost guest. "What kind of services do you offer here?"

It just...sorta stops in confusion. They're not running or screaming like all its other victims?

They sometimes annoyingly ring the bell on the reception desk, attracting a few monkeys.

"If my wish is to give you all bananas will you let me take the ring piece?" The Mortal asks, and the monkeys actually stop to consider this question.

None of them are bright so they just...let the Mortal take the ring piece and leave without swarming them in the end.

[ramblingsekai]

So about the Sekai Tour AU, can you imagine if any 'outsiders' had their clothes switched when entering other SEKAI? So example, Emu's peppy palette becomes more greyscaled when she wants to visit Mafuyu in the Empty SEKAI. What do you think?

OMG but that’d be so cool if that actually happened. I could see both scenarios happening for this. Like on one hand, I think the groups can control what they’re wearing when they go to Sekais since sometimes we see them in their casual clothes when they go. But on the other hand, the popular theory for the Vocaloids seem to be that they travel between the Sekais and they do massive personality changes when they enter the different Sekais so the idea isn’t out of the realm of possibility.

But lmao the fact that you bring up Emu and the Empty Sekai. I imagined the other way around and for some reason, my brain went, what if Mafuyu ends up in like a clown costume when she goes to the Wonderland Sekai one time. Can you freaking imagine everyone going to the Wonderland Sekai after the Sekai Tour and one day Mafuyu pops in wearing a clown costume (red nose, big shoes,etc) but she’s still dead eyed and stuff. And then Ena tries to lift the mood being like come on Mafuyu have some fun for once! So Mafuyu looks straight at Ena, honks the red horn on her nose, and goes “Is this fun enough for you?” in the blandest tone ever. Ppl would be split 50/50 on terrified (Emu, etc) or dying of laughter (Ena,etc) or a mixture of both (probably Mizuki would be mixed on this lol).

Thanks for the idea. It would be fascinating seeing how the other groups would look with altered versions of their costumes, but the game let’s you switch around the costumes for the MVs so it’s not too hard to imagine too. I’m trying to think about the other groups, but I just keep thinking of their usual stage outfits in different colors. Like Leo/need and VBS are already wearing pretty casual clothes, WxS are just wearing their work clothes technically, 25ji are wearing altered school uniforms, and MMJ are wearing what they hope to wear on an actual stage one day. Theoretically, I think they can control what they want to wear, but it’d be hilarious if their clothes just shifted bc of the different atmospheres in the different Sekais.

[chipper-asks]

Any tips on how to grow your own blog by chance?

Aah man I've written a response to this kind of question many times but I always delete it because I'm afraid of coming off as self centered or arrogant, but I definitely have some tips on what works and doesn't work (on tumblr.)

I will say that I never believed I would get to the "Big Fandom Artist" stage. I've seen people drop my name in conversations or descriptions and just assume other people know who I am and that's still incredibly wild to me. I never really pushed to get a big blog it really just happened.

But! I do have rules and personal guidelines that might help if you are thinking of actively building your blog!

1: Keep personal information and vent posts to a minimum

It should go without saying that its not a good thing for your personal information to be on the internet. Once its out there its near impossible to erase. This is for your own safety.

Vent posts give out more information than you might think, but also some people who are following you may be going through difficult times themselves. I go on the internet to get away from my stressors and problems and i've specifically catered my dashboard to reflect my desires. I have no doubt others are the same.

I've unfollowed mutuals because they vented too frequently. I enjoyed what they made! But it stressed me out to read their vent posts because I couldn't help. I realized it was taking a toll on my mental health and I made the tough decision to unfollow.

It is very tempting to vagueblog because its nice getting out all the angry feelings, but a blog with thousands of people following it is not the place to do it.

2: Shitpost vs Quality Foley

I could go into a massive essay on this alone (ive even written out an outline already) but i'll keep it as brief as I can.

Throughout my time on Tumblr I’ve seen a number of posts of artists complaining about the lack of notes on their serious work compared to the abundance of notes on their shitposts.

This is because Tumblr IS a place of shitposts. It's like squeezing a clown nose and expecting it not to honk.

However! It's more complicated than that and i've broken it up into four parts organized by importance.

A. Relevance/Meta: Is it something that people are already familiar with? Is it something that's currently going on?

People want to enjoy things they're already familiar with. For example, people getting into Hollow Knight are more likely to follow a blog that posts HK content regularly over a HK blog that posted a picture of Grimm once and then is full of original content. It's not that people don't like your original stuff, its just not what they're looking for.

If you like striking while the iron is hot, meta jokes are the way to go. Making references to games like Among Us during the height of its popularity for example would get you lots of notes.

B. Hilarity

Is it funny? Does it subvert expectations?

Shitposts will always be more popular than a well drawn post. People like to laugh and share things that laugh. A cool, well drawn post is more often than not met with a "hm, cool. scrolls down."

This is a polished comic I made 10 months ago. I'm very proud of it and i'm pleased with the amount of attention it got. It took me 2 days to finish.

This is a shitpost I made 3 years ago that I still haven't been able to top. It took me 30 minutes to make.

That's not to say a well drawn post can get popular! It's just that people enjoy a good laugh over something shiny. This is a factor of knowing your audience. Some things land better than others and you'll be better off if you just roll with what you get.

I will say tho I appreciate the people who reblog my oc posts 200x more than people who reblog my shitposts and fanart. Those are quality followers and you must cherish them.

C. Appeal

Is it cute? Is it fluffy? Is the design easy to understand? Does it make people emotional? Is it angsty? Is it relatable?

People like cute shit. People like things that make them hurt (albeit not too much). People like things that they can see themselves in.

D. Skill

There is some merit in being good at what you do. People do like funny things more than shiny things, but shiny things are cool too.

If you post things that are funny? You're normal horoscopes.

If you post things that are well drawn? (its really telling that I can't think of someone right off the top of my head)

If you post things that are funny AND well drawn? Well then you're iguanamouth

3: Know your boundaries.

There's a difference between being understanding/tagging things correctly and catering to people who want you to be someone else.

I know that many people get upset with others who gender the vessels in Hollow Knight. While it doesn't bother me, I can recognize the misgendering of vessels as a source of dysphoria and I tag accordingly.

If someone comes into my inbox and tells me to stop drawing a character because they're "problematic," I'm just going to block them and go about my day.

4: This is your blog, its your rules.

I'm apologetically myself on my blog. I post what I want and what inspires me. The reason why I have so many AUs is because its my blog and I like AUs. If a large portion of the fandom doesn't like my AUs, its their loss, I make great AUs.

In fact, its just a good mindset in general to have. If some people don't like what you make, its not your problem. It makes you happy and it makes hundreds of others happy then continue to do what you do. It's impossible to have a large following and not have someone who dislikes you purely out of spite.

Make stuff for yourself, not because you want numbers.

5: Don't feed the trolls.

If someone sends you hate, take a picture of it, share it with your friends, laugh, block the person, delete message, move on with your life.

It's really fun to feed the trolls, but feeding trolls attracts more trolls and soon its not fun anymore. Just laugh when you get your first anon hate, maybe frame it in your room, and don't even acknowledge them with a "fuck you."

6: Recognize your position.

This is more advice for when you do get a big blog. You get to a point when you realize you have a portion of your audience who value much more than a regular human being and are willing to take up arms for you.

Do. Not. Weaponize. Your audience.

It's incredibly shitty and can ruin peoples lives.

7: Post Frequency/Schedule

Now this is one I can't do. It's normal for me to become incredibly active for 2 weeks and then end up posting nothing for a month. I don't have the patience to build up a queue of new things.

However! If you have more discipline than me, posting daily or twice a week builds up anticipation for your next post. You're dependable and people have the chance to look forward to seeing something from you on their dash on Friday.

Thats all I can think of so far.

There's no TL;DR you'll miss my important advice within these tips.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

A large box materialized in the corner of the room, decorated gaudily with purple wrapping paper, a bright red bow, and raw macaroni glued over practically every visible inch of the box. If you listened closely, you could make out the occasional giddy giggle coming from the inside of the box whenever it wiggled, demanding the attention of the beautiful birthday boy.

“Vil’s gonna love this!” Mac gushed to themself from the inside of the box, dressed up in thick clown makeup and an equally excessive clown outfit. “He’ll open the box up, and I’ll pop out to greet him and tell him that I’ll be his birthday present and his personal footstool, if he wants…”

Within the darkness of the box, they flushed a bright red, fanning their face like the lovestruck fool they were. Whenever they could make out the sound of his heels clacking on the attic floor, Mac shivered excitedly at the thought of his feet slamming down on their back and keeping their face shoved against the floor for them to drool onto.

The beautiful Queen needs a loyal court, and was there anyone better than to play the role of the court fool than the head empty pasta fanatic? Mac thought not.

*pokes Mac with a stick*

Come get your dinner.

At long last, evening had set in, and the last of Vil’s fan club had been sated and sent off for the day. The once brilliant blue sky had darkened to a deep violet--nearly black--and the stars, one by one, awoke from their daytime slumber to play amid the moonlight. Night Raven College, touched in silver, was a new world entirely.

Vil ran a hand along the nape of his neck and sighed.

“Excellent work, Roi du Poison!” Rook sang, patting his dorm leader on the back. “You’ve survived the onslaught--though you appear to be a little worse for wear from it.”

“I am not in need of your insightful commentary at this time, Rook,” Vil warned, his tone pointed.

The huntsman did not flinch--not a single beat missed. He removed his hat and held it close to his chest as he dipped into a bow. “Oui.”

A moment elapsed before Rook lifted his head, eyes creased teasingly. “... Though I would still advise you, mon roi, to retire early for the evening. All this stress may lead to a breako--”

“I am in need of some fresh air,” Vil declared sharply. “If you have need of me, I will be outside.”

“... Bien sûr.”

The birthday boy turned and swept out of the stuffy attic. Down the staircase he descended, and out into the bitter night air--or rather, he would have, were it not for ramming his foot into an oddly placed box, covered in bright purple and red, and raw macaroni pieces.

Vil hissed and drew his foot back--but to his alarm, the box began... wiggling intensely and... giggling?

“What in the name of the Great Seven is this doing here?” he wondered out loud, but no response came.

Out of curiosity, Vil cautiously prodded the box with his foot again. The touch immediately elicited another loud giggle.

Something... No, someone is in there. Vil brought a hand to his forehead, heaving another sigh (what number was it now?).

His manager had warned him about accepting suspicious packages--particularly crazed or rowdy fans would sometimes send nasty pranks or parcels with dangerous goods inside. He wasn’t about to risk his health and safety for a shady package. Vil would go fetch Rook to open it for him--

Bu then it happened.

The box flew open, and out erupted...

A clown.

Quintessential--face painted a stark white, garishly colorful lips, eyes, and cheeks, a bulbous and round nose, a fluffy rainbow wig... Even the outfit was clownish, the fabric baggy but bright, with a frilly collar, gloves, and massive shoes that squeaked with even the slightest movement.

The clown let out a whoop of excitement, leapt out of the box, and eagerly honked their nose. It squeaked loudly, like a dog’s chew toy or a kazoo.

Vil stumbled back a few steps in complete and utter astonishment. He squinted through the thick clown makeup and gaudy clothing, his mind slowly piecing together the familiar facial features.

The cheesy potato.

“Mac... Is that you?”

“Heehoo,” Mac honked their nose again. They wore the widest, goofiest grin Vil had ever witnessed, even by the standards of his most lovestruck of followers. “Happy, happy birthday, Vil!!”

He ignored the greeting and cut to a question. “... Dare I ask why it is that you are dressed in such an outlandish getup?”

“Hehehe... Actually! It’s cuz... I’m your birthday present!!” Mac declared, splaying their arms out.

“You... what?”

“I’m your birthday present!!” They repeated, practically vibrating with zeal. “Cuz every queen needs a loyal court jester...!!”

“I am in no need of such--”

“Please please please please PLEASE let me serve you!!” Mac wailed desperately, flinging themselves at Vil’s feet. “I’ll tell the dumbest jokes, and I can be your personal human footstool--you can step on me whenever you want!! I’ll make you the tastiest, cheesiest pasta, and maybe we can get closer and then move in someplace together and live a nice domestic life, and have lots of kids--I’ve already got their names picked out--and and and...”

“Stop. You’re drooling,” Vil said coldly. His cruel, frigid tone sent a shiver down Mac’s spine, filling them with a sense of ecstasy that only he could deliver.

“Heheheh...” They wiped saliva from the corner of their mouth with the back of their hand. “Sorry, I just get so excited when I talk about you.”

“I know,” Vil groaned, cradling his forehead in a hand. “... I know.”

“Are you... angry with me? I-If you are, please take out your rage by stomping all over my back and snapping me like a glowstick!! PLEASE USE ME, SCHOENHEIT!!”

“You never seem to stop spouting nonsensical logic.”

“I don’t need logic...!! Because I have something way better than logic: LOVE!!”

Vil glanced away.

A deathly silence fell over the foyer.

For one horrible, dreadful moment, Mac thought they had done something wrong. It wasn’t like Vil--confident, beautiful Vil--to be at such a loss for words. Was he so terribly cross that he couldn’t even bring himself to spit out any insults at them? Did he hate them so much that he didn’t even deem them worthy to receive his vitriol?  

“H-Hey, Vil... Did I.. Did I go too far?”

“... Pfft.”

“Huh?”

Laughing.

Vil was laughing.

Well, not a full-on deep, rumbling belly laugh. It was more like a faint chuckle, soft and delicate, like wind chimes blowing in the spring breeze.

“You never cease to amuse,” Vil remarked, his perfectly groomed brows pinching together, and his lips forming a mocking smile. “Lifting my mood after a long and arduous day certainly takes talent. Perhaps you are more suited to playing the role of court clown after all.”

“Ah, I... I am?” Mac perked up. “I am!! See, see? I can make myself ultra useful to you, Vil--so please accept me as your birthday present!!”

“Hmm. We shall see about that. For now, though...” Vil bent down to meet you at eye level and, extending a hand, he pulled you up from your miserable heap back onto two feet. “We should return to the party.”

“W-We?!” Mac’s heart fluttered.

“... Do your ears work? Yes, I said we. I won’t have you sitting here cold and alone, like some sad, limp noodle that was never properly cleaned up. You will join the birthday festivities, the same as any of my other guests. Is that clear?”

“Yessir!! Whatever you want, Vil!!”

“Good. Now let us away.”

And so, hand in hand, the queen and his clown headed off to their gala.

[vake-hunter]

Something new is revealed about the second or third city

Me: puts on my clown shoes and honks my nose sadly as I add it to this already massive judgement!candles fic I'm writing

[clown-bait]

Monster Family (Monster Roommate AU) CH5

Getting this part moving along before IT CH2 comes out. Leech is not a happy camper right now and Pennywise is in huge trouble. Protip: Don’t let the clown drink.

Pennywise stumbled back and howled in pain as leech stomped forward grabbing the other woman with a horrible shriek that could shatter glass. “Get you face off my clown bitch!” she hissed rearing a clawed hand behind her in striking position. The woman in question threw a pouch that burst into black smoke against the vampires face and trotted off leaving the couple to sort out the mistake.

"Who hit me?!" The eldritch snarled and swayed.

"I did you idiot!"

The clown groaned "Too many Peachies foul poison playing tricks."

"There's just one of me here jackass." The vampire spat and grabbed her mate by the ruff causing him to stumble.

"Hey Fangs when you get a minute we have good news and bad news!" Freddy called out to his friends and the vampires skeletal face hissed at him in warning.

"Oopssss?" The eldritch choked out trying to smile despite the claws now digging into his neck ruff.

"Yeah fucking oops! This is a big fuckin oops Pen!"

"L-love y-you?"

Leech's eye twitched before releasing him. The clown was still very cross faded and beating the deadlights out of him wouldn't really accomplish much at this point.

"I'm not happy." She huffed as she dragged him to a booth and away from the staring eyes of her fellow fiends.

"Mistkate." He snarled and fixed his ruff. "I made a mistake."

"You also owe me a crockpot." Leech mumbled as she carefully sat down hand on their trilling offspring who enjoyed the thrum of the bass from the speakers around them.

"Actually I won that back for ya! You lost the first round though." Freddy called to her holding up the coveted cookware. "You owe me big Fangs this thing is nice!"

“And now I owe the devil a favor fantastic.”

Pennywise's eyes went wide as he stared at her bump. "Peachy you're pregnant?!"

The vampire turned to her two companions "You let him drink more while I was playing didn't you."

"Hey he was just grabbing any colorful drink he saw! You try controlling a 6 foot murder machine like that"

"Did I...did I do this?" The clown chittered leaning over her stomach and poking it.

"Congrats again baby daddy." The vampire sighed and slumped back in her booth.

Pennywise swayed and stumbled a bit the room swam when he remembered all the events from the past few months. Then he stopped and turned to throw up into an ice bucket containing a very nice champagne bottle.

"JINGLES!" Chucky and Freddy shouted at once.

The clown made a face of disgust his long black tongue rolling out of his mouth. Before anyone could stop him he grabbed the bottle and chugged it down wiping his chin. The trio stared in disbelief.

"So did everyone believe that time?" Leech asked quietly. To which she got two nods. "Fuck."

"IS THIS A JOKE?" Someone shouted upon receiving the bucket of clown sick.

"Shit give me him." Leech hissed.

The vampire grabbed her dizzy mate and searched for his pantaloons for his pockets the clown made a husky growl groping at her rear.

"Oh! Well look at you tasty little treat what cha lookin for in ol Pennywise's pants hmm?"

"That wallet you perv, we need to pay off that champagne before I get banned from here….again."

"Suree it's not something else?" The drunk eldritch growled and groped her breast causing it to leak a bit. Leech snarled and swatted his hand causing the clown to actually yelp in pain.

"Uhh Fangs your tit is bleeding." Chucky winced at the dark patch of red on her shirt.

"Yeah it does that now." She growled and tossed her friends her boss' wallet.

"That’s….not normal?"

The vampire rolled her eyes and grabbed her clown's cheeks causing a spittle of drool to fall from his mouth as she turned his head. "Yeah dont expect normal when this is the father."

"Meee?" The clown giggled and grinned from ear to ear then hiccuped violently giggling some more.

It was hard to be furious with him when he genuinely didn't even know where he was and was a bouncing mess. Leech sighed to herself wishing she could be giggling with him. At least it would help her block out the image of the love of her life kissing some random witch out of her mind. Leech slumped back and rested her wrist on her forehead.

"Krueger move we're gonna take care of that ruined bottle service." Chucky nodded at his undead companion

"I just sat down I'm not movin for shit."

The doll growled and slapped the back of his head. "Move you idiot." He mumbled out through gritted teeth gesturing to their emotionally drained friend.

"What?"

"My god you're clueless give the chick and her moron some space." The doll kicked his companion till they were out of the booth "You get ten minutes Jingles. Fix it."

The clown blinked in confusion then turned to his mate noticing the very uncomfortable gap between them. "Peachy? Are you still mad?"

"What do you think?"

Pennywise giggled and slowly leaned past the gap letting gravity pull his massive head down till it bumped with hers. He then chuckled wildly with his big buck teeth sticking out over his lips. It was frankly adorable but Leech could still smell the woman he'd mistaken for her on his skin and she scowled instead.

"You're verry pretty! Pretty eyes, pretty skin, big pretty ears hehe!"

"That's not gonna work"

The clown slumped to the side dramatically and leech shifted her glare to the side refusing to look at him. Pennywise was relentless in his pursuit ever the hunter he was not giving up. His finger slowly inched toward her poking her nose and making a honking sound when he did. His vampire hissed and snapped at him in response. He snarled back at her and limply swatted in her direction falling forward over the table and growling in frustration. Leech finally found herself smiling at that. Her mate is a complete mess when drunk but he was definitely her mess. "Mmph" he groaned and twisted his spine so he was now facing the ceiling.

"Pen what are you doing?"

"Trying to get to you." He growled continuing to tie himself in knots until he felt a cool hand on his cheek. The clown stopped his fighting and melted to her touch that soothed his skin that was warm with drink.

"You're a full on disaster." Leech sighed and kissed his forehead. The clown instantly unfolded and shook then stared at her with a wide victorious grin on his face.

"You still have to make it up to me." The vampire crossed her arms over her chest but was quickly grabbed by her mate and hastily pulled from her seat.

"Pennywise where the hell are you taking-" Leech began to scold him but his grip was strong and the crowd of people on the dance floor was large. Somewhere in the mess of lumbering masked killers she no longer felt the warm soft glove on her wrist. Great she had lost her idiot again. The small vampire shoved her way through the other towering members of the crowd looking for a tuft of fiery hair that rose above the sea of gray and rot. A warm gentle hand touched her shoulder and a strangers raspy deep voice calmly asked her "You alright little lady? Not the best place to be lost." She turned to the unfamiliar person he reminded her a bit of a middle aged Johnny Cash with peppered gray hair and crystal blue eyes. "Well that's quite a cargo you're carrying miss why don't you come sit down."

"Im actually looking for my uh baby daddy. He had a bit too much and tried to dance with me until we got separated." Leech sighed and eyed the stranger wearily as he sat down. "I haven’t seen you here before who are you? Demon? Witch?"

The man chuckled and sipped a half full beer. "Just an old blues man here to visit a very old friend."

"..I...I should find my idiot."

"Sweetheart you put too much stress on that bun in your oven have a seat an' tell me what that boy looks like. I'll drag him back here by his ear."

Leech narrowed her eyes "You sure about that? He's the boogie man of Derry."

"You don’t say? So the critter has a heart after all! Who knew!" The man laughed "How did a pretty thing like you end up with a nasty bug like that?"

“He can be charming if he wants to.” The vampire chided as she cautiously sat down. It did feel better to be off her feet. Her body was strong but carrying eldritch half breeds take a lot out of a girl even an undead one. "Alright this is a bit better. Gotta love my shitty friends for ditching me."

"Don't expect the company here to look out for you." The man chuckled "I take it a little lady like you ain't that type either."

"Yeah I'm post deceased." Leech smiled removed her wig and pointed to her ears "Nosferatu. You?"

"Like I said just an old sinner passin through."

"Fair enough." Leech sighed and glanced to her left at the beaten guitar case "There a guitar in here?"

"What kinda blues man would I be if there weren't?"

"I just started playing again myself." She smiled "Not any good yet but I can do a bit of Zeppelin."

The man smiled and took another sip of his beer "So tell me darlin bout that nasty bug of your’s."

"Well truth be told I’m mad at him...he accidentally kissed another woman with the same hairstyle as me."

"Haha! Can't say I haven't been there myself! Has he ever drank? I admit I don't know much about him other than the whispers."

"It’s mostly my fault. I’d say we’re even now anyway." Leech smiled "I broke his nose."

They both laughed at that.

"FANGS!"

Leech's ears perked up at the sound of Chucky's voice then turned to the stranger. "That’s uh my friend I think I need to go."

"Go on darlin set things right with your nasty bug, he'll come around. I gotta set up cross the street soon anyway." The stranger patted his guitar case and raised his beer. "You take good care of yourself and them little ones."

Leech slowly got up and began to walk into the crowd looking back to wave but the man was gone. A sudden hand on her wrist startled her and Freddy found his throat in Leech's claws.

"JESUS FANGS ITS ME! Also who the fuck was that? Never mind, we uh probably should get out of here Jingles stole a designer lamp."

".....Why?"

"No idea.Think he's proposed to it three times now."

"I'm not getting banned from here again. Where is he?" She sighed and the dream demon pulled her along through the gathered crowd. Sure enough there he was the Monster of Derry himself declaring his undying love to a lampshade.

"Peachy, darling, my queen! Eternally mine! The deadlights hum only for you!" the clown twirled dangerously while trying to dance with the fancy appliance. He was clearly black-out drunk at this point and Leech was genuinely surprised that he hadn't fallen over.

"Hey Fred, please tell me you've recorded this."

"You kiddin?! I've already sent it to you."

"This is why we're friends." She smiled and patted his shoulder. Leech strode forward and pushed the appliance out of her mate's hands "That was a lamp Pen."

The clown blinked clearly blitzed out of his mind then fell back giggling and drooling.

"Oh." He chuckled. "Hi Peachy."

“Do you want to say something to me?”

“S-sorry.” he stuttered still grinning like an idiot.

"I think you've humiliated yourself enough tonight Ruffles." She sighed and pet his fluffy orange hair "I'll forgive you if you forgive me tomorrow when you inevitably try to kill me for the hangover." The clown nodded vigorously shaking his bells as he did. Her lips touched his softly and Pennywise sighed in ecstasy deepening the kiss. He was all teeth and drool but Leech didn't mind his sloppy drool filled kisses were her favorite anyway. "Wanna get out of here?" she breathed quietly as the crowd of people quickly began to leave in mild disgust.

Her clown smiled wide and grabbed his mate vanishing in a jingle of bells before anyone could protest. Leaving their two companions without a ride and a very heavy crockpot.

[iridescentseawitch]

I asked for writing prompts for a little bit of writing warm up and this is what I received lmao. If you want to give me some kind of prompt or request for a drabble or short story, drop in my asks! I also have Writing Commissions open. OC’s, NSFW, Multi-Fandom. DM me for details!

Finally finished with her 15 hour day of double shifts, Annie's feet pounded like heavy anvils on the pavement. Trudging through the lively Time Square. It was a quarter til one am and the sidewalks were still so crowded, people were walking shoulder to shoulder. Annie never felt all that unsafe walking the city at night. She figured if anyone tried to pull anything on her, she could make a big enough scene or put up a big enough fight that the massive amount of people would notice. Plus she wasn't one to get body numbing fright. There was only one thing Annie was afraid of and it was fairly easy to avoid.

Normally the walk back to her flat was a good time for her to unwind. She'd zone out a bit while the bright lights and very in you face advertisements swapped in and out on large florescent billboards. The sounds of bustling feet and blaring car horns slowly turn into white noise as she let the tension start to release from her shoulders. Tonight, however, the city that never sleeps was giving Annie a serious migraine. She decided to go off the beaten path, so to speak. Taking a few back alleyways in New York City wasn't as tricky as it seemed, as long as you were privy to it's grid system. She decided to take the way that lead her past her favorite bar.

The whole bar was bordered with large windows, giving you a 360 view of the patrons within. It was dimly lit but had a warm and inviting atmosphere. Sometimes Annie would simply sit on the bench across the street and watch inside for a while. Watch the old friends catching up over a beer. Coworkers drowning their sorrows after work. Girlfriends helping a bestie get her mind off of her shitty boyfriend. An awkward first date between two people who clearly adored each other and even the occasional heartfelt break up.

Annie didn't go out much herself. She was always working just to put food on the table for her and her brother. Plus she was too focused on her goals to be a budding social lit. Her lack of interaction with others made those late nights peering into the bar all the more with it. She caught a spring in her step despite her exhaustion and looked forward to tonight's saga that would unfold just beyond those big glass windows.

Nearly three blocks later she was a step away from her quiet little getaway. She felt a sense of calming with each step she took but as she turned the street corner her relaxation was dashed and her anxiety spiked.

The bar was illuminated with light brighter than a thousand suns. A folding sign stood on the corner. Three balloons tied to it's handle. The word's Special Event sprawled out in cursive. An overbearing red neon CLOSED sign in the window. The music inside was loud and threw Annie's heart into a panic. The ear bleeding thumping from the song that was playing, competing with the sporadic beating of her heart. She finally felt it. The boy numbing fear that had never worried her before. The interior of the bar spewing out enough bright color to induce nausea. Inside the place was packed to the brim with...

"C-C-Clowns..." Annie's hazel eyes clouded over. Her small, overworked body trembling, begging her to move from her spot. Tears began to sell up in her eyes and the wind whipped strands of dark black hair in front of her face as she watched dozens of neon wigs bounce around. Painted faces as far s she could see. Each one sadder than the next. Never had she felt more terrified. Fear itself manifested into the willpower for Annie to move from her spot. All she had to do was make it past the bar, take two more turns and she would be in her bed wishing this occurrence out of existence.

Her legs slowly moved forward. One foot in front of the other, painfully slow. Like if she made any sudden moves, all clowns in the vicinity would become aware of her existence. 36 paces. 36 paces she had counted and she was nearly past the alleyway on the far side of the bar. She bent at the knees, fully prepared to break into a sprint when the side door to the bar swung open with extreme force. A sliver of light graced the dark alleyway and vanished abruptly when the door slammed shut seconds later.

"Hiya Girly! What's with the somber face? Goofy Gizmo can fix that for ya!"

The smell of cheap booze permeated off of the arts and crafts demon that was stumbling towards her. She knew she should run, move, get out of dodge, but she couldn't. They baggy blue XXL pants held up by rainbow suspenders. The poorly pained green upside down smile around his lips. Size 22 yellow, bulbous shoes, and the stained gloves all had her petrified. Annie simply closed her eyes, hoping and willing that this reject comic book villain, this bringer of false joys, this figurative and literal CLOWN, would just disapear. Terrifying laughter filtered into her chilled ears and just as she shut her eyes tight enough to see specs, there came a low and menacing growl.

She popped one eye open and saw a perfectly blended mix of white and grey fur. Sharp fangs and teeth bared, and glinting red eyes were focused in on the balloon blowing fool. All of Annie's focus went to the canine before her. Was it here without and owner? Did it get loose? There's no collar. The canine looked back at her, letting out a slight howl. As if to let her know everything was going to be okay. She stared into it's ruby like eyes. This wasn't someone's pet. This was a full on wolf. A wolf in the city! She took a deep breath. Inhaling through her nose. She picked up a sweet scent. It was a mix of peaches and hibiscus. The wolf turned it's attention back to the clown. It's growl becoming more urgent and more threatening.

"What? Hey! T-take it easy Pooch! This wig is a rental! C'mon ya mutt!" 

As the wolf took several steps forward, Annie shut her eyes once more. Several screams of pain, a piercing howl and a dwindled honk brought silence to the alleyway. When Annie opened her eyes again there was no clown, and no wolf. Was she so afraid in the moment that she had imagined things? Was she making things worse for herself by dreaming things up?

Her eyes were wide and she stood in a trance. Footsteps at a jogging pace snapped her back to reality. 

"Miss! Miss, are you alright?"

A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder and she found herself again peering into ruby like eyes.

"I saw that drunk oaf stumbling towards you so I scared him off. Looks like he hightailed it all the way out of here."

Annie blinked in surprise as she watch the breeze catch the mans bangs and gently push them aside. His hair was a shining silver.

"I hate clowns."

"...Me too." Annie's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Well, I don't think anymore of them will be popping out of that bar but how about you tell me the way and I'll escort you home."

Annie simply nodded and the stranger started to stroll off in the right direction. She fell in behind him, the night air wafting a gentle scent back to her. Peaches and Hibiscus.

[fat-slobby-jojo-girls]

"Will it fit?" Tomoko and Shinobu

16. Nurse, and 10. Clown

Shinobu sighed as she opened the door to Tomoko's place, she couldn't belive she had forgotten about Trish's Halloween party and neglected to pick up a costume before the store closed. Despite for something to wear she hoped Tomoko would have an extra costume she could borrow.

"Hello? Tomoko, I'm here to ask if I could borrow a Halloween costume for Trish's party? I forgot to buy one." She called out hoping the dark haired woman heard her.

"Im in my bed room Shinobu! Come on in I have the perfect outfit for you!"

Shinobu felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she entered Tomoko's bed room only to find that her friend was already dressed up in a nurses outfit, and caring a scarily realistic syringe. "Thank you for letting me borrow one. Now where is it?" Shinobu asked looking around confused as to were the costume was.

"Why its right here in my hand! The costume guy said one shot of this and you'll be the life of the party. Now drop your panties and let me sew that cute bottom of yours~♡."

"Are you insane? I'm not gonna let you stick me with a syringe! Especially not one that's loaded with God knows what!" Turning to exit Shinobu was stopped by a sharp pain in her rear. "What the!" She cried as she turned around to see Tomoko standing behind her with the needle already pressed into her pale cellulite covered cheek. "Whats happening to me?" Shinobu cried as she heard her voice grow higher and saw her skin turn to a creamy white color.

"You're turning into a clown dear. Its just what the doctor ordered." Tomoko said as she massaged the sore spot were the needle went in.

"I feel silly~♡" Shinobu said with a stupid giggle as her body and clothes continued to change. Her hair turned bright red and twisted into pig tails, while her nose grew swollen and red like a ball. Next her skirt and stockings changed to a goofy rainbow pattern, as her shirt disappeared leaving only a pair of suspenders to cover her breasts. Her panties were the last to change turning from a dull black to a bright cute polka dot pattern. Shinobu's cock and balls grew larger filling out the front of her panties with an incredibly tight buldge. "Teehee Shinobu feel super silly now!" The clown milf said as she grabbed hold of her breasts and gave them a squeeze. Tomoko was startled to hear a cartoonish honk sound echo throughout the room followed by a massive fog horn like fart.

"There now you're perfect. Let's get going so we don't miss all the hot studs that are gonna be at the party." Tomoko said as she slapped Shinobu's pale ass getting another honk from the ditzy clown.

With that the two left for the party. Shinobu's new look was definitely gonna make her stand out amongst the over attendees.