#*•.¸♡ Musing: Nancy Wheeler: ❝Ask for forgiveness not permission❝

[faeryworlds]

True she did know what things he's great at. she loves teasing him and cannot help it at times to just tease him like that. Knowing they have been around each other a lot even after their break up. She knows how he is and what he is good at, to be honest she is proud with how far he has come. The growth he had compared to how he was when they started dating at first. Listen to what he had to say, before she wanted to reply to what he asked, he spoke again. "Wait, you wanted me to say that when we were dating back then?" Of course he would, Nancy why else would he be surprised that you said that you love him.

Nancy was down to not talk about fighting monsters, and this day shouldn't include the kids either. It felt like they were the parents of those kids the past few months. "We can definitely go to the roller rink and afterwards share a milkshake together." She then started thinking as a small smile appeared on her face. "What if I spent the night at your place, so we can just continue to be spending time together and not for me to have to head home after all of this."

It's been a while since she last did spent the night at his place, she just wanted to be spending time with him. Without being interrupted with needing to fight monsters or to babysit the kids. They deserve to just have a date just for them and to celebrate that they are back together. "Shall we get going then and head to the roller rink?" Kissing his cheek as she still can't believe they are actually back together. It feels good, it feels like she is complete with having him back in her life like this.

"Tsk tsk, Nancy Wheeler. You know damn well what things I'm great at, considering you experienced them firsthand for quite some time." He couldn't help the smirk plastered on his face, though he didn't want this to be about that. He knew he had a reputation, but Nancy had been with him longer then any of those one night stands. She knew that kissing wasn't the only thing he had great expertise at. Anatomy was probably the only class he would pass with at least an A-.

At the question of what he wanted to do, Steve had to think for a moment. His brain had still stopped fully functioning at her confession, and the fact he was kissing Nancy again, which was something he hadn't been sure he would be able to experience. He leaned into her hands, a pure sign of trust because he almost never let anyone touch his hair, but he had never had an issue with it when it was Nancy. She could do anything to him and he would take it without batting an eye.

"Hm?" He questioned, eyebrow raised, realizing he hadn't fully heard or understood the question in his own lost mind. "You mean kissing you or...you saying you love me?" Honest question. "Because I wanted that last one for longer than just when we broke up, Nance." Honest answer. "So I don't know, maybe we should go celebrate." He grinned, giving her a nudge with his hip. "Go down to the roller rink. Or share a milk shake. Or see a movie. I don't know, something nice for just the two of us. That doesn't include any of the kids, or any talk about fighting monsters." Because it seemed like that had been their only bonding activities the past few months.

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"Are you really? What are those other things that you're great at?" Nancy asked still in a teasing manner. She agreed on not talking right now, kissing him back and when he pulled back she listened to him with a smile on her face. Nancy was really going to make a promise that it is Steve and only Steve. There is no. one else but him, she doesn't want anyone else. It wasn't even a second thought when she told him she loves him, compared to where she first didn't even said it at all when they first dated. As she had said before, they are older and matured a lot. Let's hope this time it will be different and they will stay together. Her arms were still wrapped around his neck and the girl didn't plan on letting him go anytime soon.

Her fingers running through his hair while she was looking at him. it felt like she couldn't stop staring at him. "So.. what do you want to do?" Nancy then asked, not that she would mind to keep on kissing him, yet maybe they can just do something more productive. although kissing would count as productive. without even a second thought, nancy kissed him on the lips. God she had missed this and did not wanted it to end.

She broke the kiss. "Tell me, you've been waiting for this moment the day we broke up didn't you?" A small grin appeared on her face, she just can't describe with how happy she is right now. Her thumb caressing his cheek softly, was she scared that something will ruin this between them? Maybe, she needs to stop thinking like that, they got this, it will not be like the last time.

Steve couldn't help but to laugh lowly under his breath. Even though she was clearly teasing, his smirk crossed his features, eyes nearly sparkling. "I'm pretty great at a lot of other things, too." He teased right back, daring to send her a wink, before he heard what she had said. Heard it, his eyes widening as she did. He was frozen in time for a moment, his heart racing beneath the fabric of his jacket, his brain sounding like static.

Nancy Wheeler loved him. Something he had been wanting to hear their entire relationship. Something she had refused to tell him after the 'fight' at Tina's party. He realized that he had stopped all functioning at that moment, only shaking his head out of it as he recognized she was talking again, and he needed to listen. For now.

"Right. Yeah. No, we need to talk." He muttered, still in a bit of shock. Already, it was going better than it had last time, even in those little moments. "Just not right now." He laughed, swooping in and claiming her lips again. He was too excited to hear those three little words, showing it in his actions of passion with the kiss, pulling back only slightly to smile, his eyes meeting hers. "I love you too, Nancy Wheeler. And I never fucking stopped."

[faeryworlds]

Lifting an eyebrow hearing Steve say that Jonathan stole his girl. This doesn't really mean she won't see Jonathan at all anymore with all the things they have gone through. It doesn't mean that she suddenly will run back to him. No, that was not going to happen, she wants Steve and Steve only. A small laugh escaped while looking at him. "Hey, I know you changed. I also know you." She couldn't help but smile hearing him say that they are definitely back together. Wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him back while standing on her tippy toes.. Right now she kind of wished they ended up kissing in the Upside Down, then again it makes this kiss even more special now.

It would probably not even come as a shock if their friends find out they are back together. Especially not Robin since well how she and Steve with each other at that time. Breaking the kiss, even if she actually didn't really wanted to break the kiss. Leaning her forehead against his. "Were you always a great kisser?" She teased him, looking into his eyes. Her arms were still around his neck, her hand placed onto his cheek. "I love you." she said it as a whisper. The way she never really said it before when they first dated and now they are just back together and she says it. Not counting shouting back at him of her loving him.

"Listen, I am sure we have a lot to talk about with well how it can't go like it went last time. I don't want to lose you, Steve."Which was the truth and no she was not going to run back to Jonathan, couples have their ups and downs right. They just need make sure to make it work this time around. They are older and wiser at least she hopes the latter was the case.

"Listen. I'm trying to be nice here, but Jonathan stole my girl, point blank. Him and I are as cool as we can be now, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be a little smug about the fact that he got the karma he deserved from that situation." He felt bad, because it seemed like Nancy - in a way - was bouncing back and forth. From Steve, to Jonathan, back to Steve. Another thing that would probably have to be talked about, but not right now. Jonathan wasn't here. It wasn't about him.

He couldn't help but to grin as she teased him, nudging her with his hip and a roll of his eyes. "How dare you doubt me. I'm a changed man since the last time we dated." This much was true, but he also wanted to keep himself safe. If that meant taking this slow, they would take it slow. But Nancy had agreed to let him kiss her, and he was about to lean in and do just that, before her question that had him scoffing in feigned annoyance.

"Yes, Nancy Wheeler, it means that we are back together." He teased right back, leaning in so they were almost sharing one breath, lowering his voice. "It definitely means we're back together." He whispered, before closing the distance between the both of them. Having her lips on his again felt like fireworks were exploding in his brain, his heart rate picking up. One hand moved around her lower back, pulling her closer, the other hand still gently cradling her cheek as he kissed her the way he had been dying to ever since their 'break up.'

[faeryworlds]

She remembered him confessing his love to her in the Upside Down, she also remembered that back in the Upside Down if Robin didn’t came back the moment she came back, Nancy was convinced she and Steve would have ended up kissing. Yes, she still loved him or loves him. To be quite frankly she is just confused about all of this. Things weren’t going the way she wanted with Jonathan. He was right, she isn’t happy anymore with him and she and Jonathan had a conversation about it. Maybe that’s why she said those words back to Steve. Should she tell him the truth or shouldn’t she? Why was this so hard for her right now, she never expected to still have feelings for him. That she still loves him, but how they were spending time together, and helping the kids she saw how much he had changed and that she just still loves him.

He really wasn’t going to take it easy on her was he. “You know what, you’re right.  Things aren’t going well between me and Jonathan, I haven’t been happy. Truth to be told he and I had a conversation about all of this. No not about what almost happened in the Upside Down.” She took a deep breath. “He and I broke up.” Nancy then mumbled. 

It’s how they hadn’t seen each other since Jonathan and the others returned to Hawkins and this was the first time in that time they see each other and she right away confessed she loves him. Maybe she never stopped loving him. “I know what I want, I-I don’t know if..” She then paused as she just don’t know how to really word it in a way that it would make sense. No way that she was going to keep repeating herself again. “Answer me this, what do you want to happen? I mean between us?”

@faeryworlds continued from here.

"You're right. We didn't work. Key word, didn't. As in, you know, past tense. I might have almost failed English a few times in high school, but I at least know what that means." He crossed his arms over his chest, because he wasn't going to let her get away with this. This clearly was a conversation that they needed to have, and had been putting off. He had confessed his love to her in the Upside Down, and from what both Robin and Eddie had consistently said, it had seemed she still loved him in return.

Guess they were right.

"But that was the past, Nance. Just because we didn't work, doesn't mean we can't." And then Nancy was more or less repeating herself, despite swearing not to repeat herself. She had said what she had said. He had heard her. Damn right, he had heard her. It was three words that he had been begging to come out of her mouth. Right before their break up, it had been all he had wanted her to say, and she couldn't even give him that. So yeah, he had lashed out a bit.

"I know it really isn't any of my business, but you and Jonathan. I can tell that things aren't going well there. You don't seem happy." He frowned, lips pursed together. "And I'm not saying to like, dump his ass and run back to me. That isn't fair to anyone involved. But I think you....you really need to think, Nance. You need to think about what you want, what makes you happy, and make decisions based on that."

[faeryworlds]

alwaysthesitter​:

“You never stopped loving me?” That alone had been a shock, though Steve didn’t want to bring up everything from their past at this moment. He knew it was a conversation they were going to have eventually if this was going to work. Both of them had made their mistakes, and though a lot had been pushed aside in order to forgive quickly due to literal lives being at stake, he knew there was some resentment still lingering. At least on his end. Nancy Wheeler had been unable to tell him that she loved him after Tina’s party and the ‘bullshit’ incident. To hear that she had ever loved him at all, yet alone never stopped, was shocking him to his core.

Instead he was just listening to her, being a good listener and actually hearing her, unlike in the past. Her hand in his, he gave it a squeeze as she spoke, giving a nod of understanding. “Seems like a lot of the men in Hawkins suck at communication.” He knew that Jonathan had grown distant, though part of him felt bad for the guy. It seemed like a lot had been happening in California that they didn’t even fully know about, and he recalled hearing Jonathan telling Nancy at the reunion that it hadn’t been safe to contact her. Yet Mike had flown out there just fine, so he didn’t know how much of that was true.

“Is it bad that I feel bad for Jonathan? Just a little. I mean, kind of. Not really.” He laughed lightly, shaking his head. In his eyes, Jonathan had stolen the love of his life right out from underneath him. But he knew he couldn’t be all upset with Jonathan for that, because it took two to tango, and Nancy had made that choice. Just like right now, she was choosing him. Hopefully meaning it this time. His lips curled into a smile at her comment of wanting him romantically, his free hand moving gently to her cheek, large palm resting over her pale skin. “….am I allowed to kiss you right now or is that too soon into our new relationship?” Slightly teasing, but also incredibly serious.

She was aware that she was unable to tell him she loved him back then at Tina’s party and now here she is telling him she never stopped loving him. And she doesn’t really want to elaborate of how she never stopped loving him when she hasn’t really told him before. It was just complicated. There’s no reason to bring up the past right, it’s about the present about how they feel now. She wouldn’t jump in the water for anyone like she did when she jumped right in the water to save Steve in the Upside Down. “Maybe it’s a Hawkins men thing. Not being good in communicating to their girlfriends.” It was for the best that she broke up with Jonathan and she didn’t wanted to string him along when she has feelings for Steve. That wouldn’t be fair to him, and well he had been distant and nancy just wasn’t having it. 

“I knew you didn’t feel bad for him.“ Nancy wasn’t even aware at first that Steve still had feelings for her until he told her about it, which she didn’t saw coming, now here they are actually being back together. Who would have thought that, not her that’s for sure. Seeing that smile of him made her smile. The moment she felt his hand onto her cheek she closed her eyes for a brief moment before she opened them again to look at him. 

Stepping even closer towards him. “Steve Harrington asking for permission to kiss me. There I thought you would just kiss me without asking.” She teased him as she laughed. “You are definitely allowed to kiss me right now.” A small grin appeared on her face. “Just to clarify, this does mean we’re back together right?” Knowing very well that it means they are just she couldn’t help to tease him a bit more. 

[faeryworlds]

alwaysthesitter​:

“You….you what?” That had shocked him entirely, even though he had seen it coming. From what he had caught onto - and really, Steve had eyes and ears everywhere at this point - Jonathan hadn’t been responsive to her. Had been distant, and not communicating, and pulling away in a way that Nancy hadn’t liked and appeared confused and frustrated by. But coming back from the Upside Down, seeing the heartfelt reunion between the two of them, Steve had recognized that he would never be her pick again.

So yeah, he was confused. He was going to ask questions. He was going to make sure that communication happened, because that was something they had lacked severely in their first attempt at being together. If they were going to try this again, that was one of the things that needed to change. “Part of me wants to ask why, but part of me also knows it isn’t my business. So I’ll just throw it out there that if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

He had never stopped being there. Nancy Wheeler was his person. All the times he had said he had gotten over her, it was his way of trying to make himself believe it. Hearing her question, Steve blinked a bit - he had thought what he wanted was rather obvious, but. “Well.” He stopped, trying to make sure he said this properly. Had the right words. Words were something he wasn’t the best at, and Nancy had held that against him a few times. Thought he hadn’t cared about Barb, or Barb’s death, or Nancy’s feelings around it, just because he had wanted them to be able to feel a sense of normalcy.

“I think it’s obvious I want to be with you again. In a romantic way. But, I think….I think it’s also obvious that I want whatever you want. I want to be with you, Nancy Wheeler, in whatever capacity you’ll have me. If that just means really good friends, it’s going to hurt like a bitch, but I’ll respect that. Just like I respected when you chose Jonathan over me. But, you’re asking what I want? I think that answer is pretty clear.” He gently reached forward, digits touching her hand, not quite grabbing it but having that point of contact. “What I want is you.”

Okay yes it was obvious with what he wanted and somehow Nancy wanted it to hear it from him. She chuckled hearing him say that part of him wanted to ask why. It isn’t really a secret though. “You want to know why he and I broke up. Or well I broke up with him. He was being distant, there was not really communication. And to be completely fair, my feelings for you came back. Don’t think they ever left, since the Upside Down I realised that I never actually stopped loving you. ” How was she just so honest to him at this point. Maybe because she would want to give them another chance again. They both grew up, they weren’t the same as they were back then. More matured in a way, and there has to be communication not like it ended up like last time. “Yes, it is obvious what you want. Yet I want to hear from you.” Nancy said when she listened to him.

She was looking at him as she took a deep breath as she should really be honest with him, like she has been doing. Nancy then grabbed his hand to hold it into hers. Looking up to look into his eyes. “You don’t have to worry that I will reject you, Steve. What I want? Is you! I don’t want a repeat from last time we dated. I know we both matured and aren’t the same as back then. Please, there has to be better communication.”

“To be fair, I have the feeling Jonathan knew I still had feelings for you, and that was the first thing he asked when I broke up with him. If I broke up because of you.“ Which was partly the reason not all of it. “What I do know, Steve Harrington. Is that I want you, in a romantic way.” Hoping that this time it will last.