#* 𝑗𝑢𝑛-𝑠𝑒𝑜 𝑐𝘩𝑎 : colloquy ↷ larissa macedo .

[delicatlueur]

#   𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭   …        lari’s   apartment #   𝖳𝖨𝖬𝖤𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖬𝖯   …       time   is   a   concept   ,   but   definitely   post   crescent   fest   ! #   𝖳𝖠𝖦𝖦𝖨𝖭𝖦   …       @lcrissas

                    joey   stands   before   larissa’s   front   door   ,   rain - soaked   and   slightly  out   of   breath   .       (   he   used   to   frequent   her   apartment   building   so   often   that   the   doorman   skipped   the   courtesy   call   )   .       water   drops   steadily   from   his   motorcycle   helmet   ,   forming   small   puddles  on   the   welcome   mat   beneath   him   .       “   hey   …   ”       with   a   sheepish   grin   ,   he   sweeps   a   hand   through   wet   black   hair   ,   sending   water   droplets   scattering   in   all   directions   .       “   uh   ,   i   know   this   is   kinda   random   ,   but   this   was   the   closest   spot   i   could   ride   to   …   ”       he   quips   ,   voice   tinged   with   a   mix   of   familiarity   and   awkwardness   .       in   all   honesty   ,   he   had   plenty   of   alternatives   .       a   nearby   café   ,   one   of   his   bandmates’   apartments   …       he   didn’t   even   need   to   make   his   way   up   to   her   apartment   to   dodge   the   rain   .       it   wasn’t   about   avoiding   the   rain   or   finding   shelter   ;       he   just   wants   to   see   them   again   after   their   kiss   .       “   mind   if   i   come   in   and   maybe   borrow   a   towel   ?   ”

[delicatlueur]

                    “   i   know   i’m   always   joining   the   hate   train   ,   but   …       it’s   just   wasteful   ,   isn’t   it   ?       throwing   away   half   of   the   freshly   baked   bread   you’re   eating   ,   it’s   ridiculous   .       but   like   ,   you   do   you   and   shit   ,   whatever   .       but   asking   for   the   person   working   the   counter   to   do   it   for   you   ?       enjoy   food   however   you   like   ,   but   fucking   scoop   it   yourself   .   ”

＊   𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗡  𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥          ››         @nepofmstarters ＊   𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚          ››         lari  &  your  muse   ＊   𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡          ››          lower  manhattan

         “  i  heard  someone  asking  for  a  scooped  bagel  .  not  to  be  mean  but  i  kinda  wished  i  wasn’t  leaving  the  shop  to  hear  the  aftermath  of  that  .  guess  they  didn’t  see  that  one  scooped  bagel  tiktok  .  ”

[delicatlueur]

                    “   you   know   ,   the   snow   here   isn’t   as   good   as   when   we   went   to   that   little   resort   …       —   uhm   ,   what   was   it   called   ?   ”       //       @lcrissas

[delicatlueur]

                    “   lari   ,   hey   …   ”       joey   starts   ,   a   smile   flickering   to   lips   at   the   sight   of   larissa   ,   but   it   falters   as   peripheral   vision   catches   mona   .       “   …   and   mona   .       well   ,   if   it   isn’t   the   latest   buzz   on   nepoupdates   ,   ”       he   quips   ,   tone   light   but   edged   with   his   characteristic   nonchalance   .       gaze   lingers   on   his   ex   just   a   moment   too   long   ,   before   turning   back   to   both   of   them   .       “   so   ,   how’s   life   post - headlines   ?   ”       //       @lcrissas   +   @rainforum

[delicatlueur]

                    “   so   ,   uhm   …       vibe   check   —   you   and   mona   ,   good   time   ?   ”       //       @lcrissas

[delicatlueur]

                    lari’s   love   language   is   acts   of   service   ,   joey   thinks   .       and   it’s   an   observation   that   has   taken   him   some   time   to   conclude   .       the   arguments   they   used   to   have   ,   stemming   from   larissa’s   struggle   to   say   the   three   words   he   so   desperately   wanted   to   hear   ,   slowly   gave   way   to   understand   .       the   real   essence   of   their   love   lay   in   the   small   things   ,   in   an   undertone   of   care   :       attending   his   concerts   ,   orchestrating   surprise   outings   —   some   involving   flights   to   far - off   destinations   —   ,   or   thoughtfully   bringing   him   a   cup   of   coffee   in   the   morning   .       most   of   all   ,   turning   into   a   punk - rock   enthusiast   .       these   seemingly   unassuming   gestures   spoke   volumes   of   the   love   they   had   for   him   .       “   maybe   i   underestimated   your   rock   vibe   a   little   bit   ...       i   mean   ,   you’re   kinda   short   on   tattoos   ,   a   cool   leather   jacket   ,   and   a   whole   lotta   black   in   your   wardrobe   .   ”       but    he   loves   it   ,   this   contrast   between   the   two   of   them   .       they’re   so   different   from   one   another   ,   but   there’s   this   special   ability   to   flex   and   adjust   ,   to   accommodate   each   other   .       they   thrive   in   this   unique   blend   of   polarity   and   compatibility   .       “   hmmm   ,   well   ,   i   suppose   i   do   tick   off   a   few   of   those   boxes   ,   ”       he   muses   ,   fingers   tracing   playful   ,   invisible   patterns   on   her   arm   ,   leaving   a   gentle   touch   in   their   wake   .

                    as   larissa   turns   to   meet   his   gaze   ,   his   heart   immediately   flutters   within   his   chest   .       her   touch   graces   his   hand   and   fingers   instinctively   find   hers   .       a   gesture   that   has   become   second   nature   to   him   .       “   he’s   seriously   unforgettable   ,   or   so   i’m   told   .       so   i   get   it   .   ”       words   are   light - hearted   ,   voice   is   a   mere   breath   against   her   skin   .       his   gaze   flickers   to   their   lips   ,   his   own   barely   an   inch   away   ,   temptation   pulling   him   closer   .       “   we   can’t   really   blame   them   ,   can   we   ?       they   were   good   together   .   ”       they   were   .       even   as   he’s   grappling   with   the   urge   to   kiss   her   ,   the   memory   of   their   breakup   lingers   .       they’re   a   cliché   case   of   right   person   ,   wrong   time   ,   and   if   it   was   considered   healthier   to   part   ways   ,   logic   dictates   it   still   is   right   now   .       but   human   impulse   outweighs   logic   ,   and   lips   graze   hers   with   a   tender   ,   fleeting   touch   —   hesitation   momentarily   captured   as   the   suspense   lingers   between   them   .       his   presence   lingers   too   ,   a   delicate   balance   of   hope   and   caution   .       eyes   locking   onto   hers   in   a   silent   dialogue   that   seeks   permission   ,   not   just   for   the   kiss   that   hovers   tantalizingly   close   ,   but   rather   due   the   fragility   of   their   past   scars   and   the   potential   for   new   ones   .       and   then   ,   as   if   deciding   to   leap   into   the   unknown   ,   he   bridges   the   gap   between   them   ,   lips   meeting   in   a   full - blown   kiss   .

          “  what  ?  do  i  really  not  look  like  someone  who’d  enjoy  rock  music  ?  ”  they  gently  tease  .  so  maybe  they  do  have  an  inherent  bias  .  after  all  ,  it’s  the  band  he  helped  create  .  and  despite  no  longer  being  a  couple  ,  lari  will  always  remain  one  of  his  biggest  supporters  .  “  it’s  not  reserved  solely  for  bassists  but  i  guess  you  can  say  that  .  brooding  .  tattoos  .  artsy  .  just  a  tad  sensitive  .  ”  nibbles  on  her  bottom  lip  .  eyes  instinctively  dart  to  their  arm  .  his  touch  ,  no  matter  how  gentle  ,  always  seems  to  have  an  effect  on  them  .  they  shut  their  eyes  for  a  moment  .  breathing  hitches  in  their  throat  when  joey  leans  in  .  the  sound  of  his  voice  caresses  their  ear  like  a  sweet  symphony  .  “  is  he  now  ?  ”  she  manages  to  utter  out  .  eyes  flutter  open  .  she  turns  so  that  she’s  facing  him  .  gaze  trails  over  his  visage  .  nimble  fingers  brush  up  against  his  hand  .  “  is  there  any  word  on  how  his  ex  feels  ?  ”  she’d  be  lying  if  she  said  she  didn’t  miss  this  .  the  banter  .  the  intimacy  .  “  heard  she  might  be  a  little  . . .  hung  up  on  him  too  .  ”  

[delicatlueur]

                    joey’s   eyes   flicker   with   a   hint   of   amusement   ,   the   weight   of   his   vampiric   nature   momentarily   lifted   by   larissa’s   presence   .       demeanor   ,   typically   quiet   and   cryptic   ,   eases   as   he   leans   nonchalantly   against   the   solid   concrete   barrier   .       “   you   caught   me   ,   ”       he   admits   ,   voice   low   and   smooth   ,   slightly   tinged   with   a   hint   of   their   connection   —   the   kind   that   lets   them   know   precisely   when   he’s   lying   .       “   was   aiming   for   that   cool   ,   enigmatic   vamp   vibe   ,   but   clearly   i’m   way   better   at   coffee   runs   than   being   all   mysterious   .   ”       hand   gestures   towards   the   cup   .       “   it’s   yours   ,   actually   .       iced   doppio   espresso   .   ”       soft   smile   appears   upon   lips   ,   gaze   meeting   theirs   with   an   earnestness   that   is   not   uncommon   for   him   .       “   was   actually   on   my   way   to   see   you   ,   coffee   in   hand   .       so   ,   ‘   purely   coincidental   ’   might   be   stretching   it   .   ”       //       @lcrissas

          she’ll  fold  her  arms  across  her  chest  and  quirks  a  brow  at  him  .  silently  challenging  his  challenge  .  “  mmm  ,  well  i  could  very  well  assume  that  it’s  not  coffee  but  i’d  like  to  think  that  you’re  full  of  surprises  .  ”  an  easy  smile  graces  their  features  .  “  is  it  just  coincidence  you  just  happen  to  be  at  my  favorite  coffee  shop  ?  ”  //  @delicatlueur

[delicatlueur]

                    joey’s   lips   part   with   a   playful   chuckle   ,   gaze   smoothly   shifting   towards   larissa   .       “   really   ?       you   like   them   ?   ”       he   quips   ,   voice   laced   with   an   undertone   of   playful   disbelief   .       with   a   casual   grace   ,   tattooed   fingers   lifts   to   lips   ,   bringing   the   joint   to   his   mouth   for   another   satisfying   hit   .       once   the   last   ember   flickered   out   ,   he   carefully   tucked   the   joint   behind   an   ear   .       “   oh   ,   you   know   me   ,   i’m   way   more   into   classic   music   .   ”       voice   carries   a   tinge   of   amusement   as   he   hops   down   ,  drawing   closer   to   them   .       “   though   i   heard   their   bassist   is   a   total   babe   .       he’s   like   ,   tall   ,   dark   ,   and   brooding   ,   you   know   ?   ”       hands   find   a   resting   place   on   either   side   of   her   arms   ,   pressed   gently   against   the   railing   .       a   seemingly   innocent   gesture   that   creates   a   sense   of   intimacy   .

          despite  the  chaos  of  the  festival  ,  she  feels  relaxed  .  arms  rest  against  the  railing  as  she  leans  forward  ,  shutting  her  eyes  to  bask  in  the  warmth  of  the  sun  .  “  oh  i  don’t  know  . . .  ”  she  starts  .  “  there  is  this  one  band  .  i  don’t  know  if  you’ve  heard  of  them  ––  street  rats  ?  ”  she’ll  playfully  jest  ,  turning  around  to  face  joey  .  “  i  heard  their  music’s  good  .  high-energy  too  .  what  about  you  ?  ”

[delicatlueur]

                    “   well   ,   color   me   surprised   .   ”       joey’s   heart   flutters   with   a   mix   of   nostalgia   and   amusement   as   larissa   speaks   so   fondly   of   the   band   he   helped   create   .       head   tilts   slightly   ,   allowing   him   to   better   appreciate   the   contours   of   her   face   ,   tender   smile   gracing   his   lips   .       “   oh   ,   you’ve   got   a   thing   for   brooding   bassists   ?       damn   ,   i   should’ve   known   .   ”       fingers   gently  brush   against   their   arm   ,   an   almost   subconscious   gesture   that   betrays   his   lingering   feelings   for  them   .       he   appreciates   the   shared   space   ,   enjoys   the   closeness   .       for   a   brief   instant   ,   the   bustling   festival   noise   fades   into   the   background   ,   leaves   them   in   their   little   world   .       “   oh   ,   i’ve   gotta  admit   ,   the   bassist   does   have   that   mysterious   vibe   going   for   him   .       but   here’s   the   bummer   ,   ”       a   brief   pause   ,   prompting   him   to   lean   ever   so   slightly   ,   drawing   himself  closer   to   them   .       from   behind   ,   he   seizes   the   opportunity   to   mumble   softly   into   their   ear   ,       “   word   on   the  street   is   that   he’s   still   hung   up   on   his   ex   ,   you   know   ?       so   no   luck   there   ,   i’m   afraid   .   ”

          “  i  wasn’t  expecting  to  but  they  grew  on  me  so  i  can  confidently  say  i’m  a  fan  .  ”  she  hums  ,  a  playful  glint  in  her  eyes  as  she  nibbles  on  her  bottom  lip  .  head  turns  to  focus  on  a  scenery  as  she  takes  a  sip  of  her  drink  .  “  oh  my  god  ,  don’t  even  get  me  started  on  the  bassist  !  ”  they’ll  playfully  swoon  .  “  tall  ,  dark  and  brooding  sounds  exactly  like  my  type  i’m  afraid  .  ”  dramatically  sighs  .  she  feels  his  presence  behind  her  .  it  brings  comfort  .  solace  .  momentarily  shielding  her  from  the  chaos  of  the  festival  .  “  but  i’m  sure  he’s  spoken  for  .  ”

[delicatlueur]

                    joey   listens   ,   each   word   from   larissa   pressing   down   on   him   ,   landing   like   a   weight   in   his   heart   .       they’re   asking   him   not   to   apologize   ,   but   how   can   he   not   ?       he’s   sorry   ,   so   damn   sorry   ,   for   their   paths   diverging   ,   for   their   lives   no   longer   in   sync   ,   leaving   them   in   this   limbo   of   love   —   wanting   but   not   having   .       gently   ,   his   fingers   tenderly   cradle   her   face   ,   guiding   her   gaze   to   meet   his   .       “   lari   …       i   can’t   promise   that   ,   ”       he   starts   ,   voice   tinged   with   an   honesty   so   raw   it   almost   hurts   .       “   i’m   not   gonna   get   in   the   way   of   you   living   your   life   ,   that’s   not   me   .       but   i’m   also   not   gonna   stand   here   ,   look   into   your   eyes   ,   and   fucking   lie   to   you   .       i’m   not   going   to   date   other   people   ,   hoping   to   find   something   that   i   already   know   it’s   right   here   in   front   of   me   .       you’re   what   i   want   .       so   ,   yeah   ,   i’ll   practice   my   patience   .       i’ll   hold   onto   what   we   had   and   what   we   could   be   because   i   know   ,   lari   .       i’m   the   guy   for   you   .   ”       he’s   theirs   ,   completely   ,   stubbornly   .       (   and   really   ,   waiting   for   them   isn’t   just   an   option   ,   it’s   his   choice   !       because   for   him   ,   lari   has   always   been   the   one   )   .

                    “   but   if   you   find   someone   ,   if   there’s   even   a   flicker   of   chance   you   want   to   give   it   a   shot   ,   go   for   it   .       don’t   hold   back   because   of   me   .       i   promise   you   ,   it’s   okay   ,   really   .   ”       he   reassures   her   .       (   and   we   all   know   joey’s   as   honest   as   they   come   ,   right   ?       if   he   says   it   ,   he   means   it   )   .       he’s   giving   them   the   freedom   they   need   ,   because   that’s   what   you   do   when   you   love   someone   —   you   put   their   happiness   first   .

         lari  has  never  wanted  this  .  the  end  of  their  relationship  .  the  strained  attempt  to  remain  friends  .  the  tiptoeing  because  the  breakup  is  still  so  fresh  .  but  she’s  logical  to  a  fault  .  and  unfortunately  ,  their  relationship  just  wasn’t  working  out  .  a  true  case  of  right  person  ,  wrong  time  .  it’s  surreal  .  they  can  hardly  believe  the  words  coming  out  of  their  mouth  .  and  the  look  ––  god  the  look  he  has  on  his  face  .  it  pains  them  .  that  kiss  did  nothing  but  confirm  that  she  still  has  feelings  for  him  .  and  she  so  badly  wants  to  give  them  another  chance  .  surely  they  can  do  better  this  time  ,  right  ?  learn  from  their  mistakes  ?

but  they  think  it’s  selfish  to  want  that  .  joey  deserves  someone  better  .  someone  who  doesn’t  take  over  a  year  to  say  ‘  i  love  you  ’  back  .  those  words  now  pale  in  comparison  to  the  difficult  conversation  they’re  having  now  .  and  the  way  he  takes  their  words  with  ease  ,  it  should  make  it  easier  .  it  doesn’t  .  instead  ,  lari  finds  herself  spiraling  .  wondering  if  it’s  worth  the  risk  .  

as  his  arms  envelop  her  ,  lari  can’t  help  but  sigh  and  relax  ,  pressing  herself  closer  to  him  .  “  don’t  be  sorry  .  ”  she  buries  her  face  in  his  chest  .  a  movement  so  instinctual  that  she  finds  solace  in  it  .  there’s  something  about  his  raw  admission  that  has  tears  springing  up  in  lari’s  eyes  .  they  wish  they  could  just  take  back  everything  they  said  and  say  yes  .  yes  to  working  things  out  .  yes  to  restarting  their  relationship  .  it  was  so  tempting  .  it’s  the  first  serious  relationship  they’ve  been  in  and  they  believe  that  he  might  just  be  the  one  .  “  you  have  no  idea  how  much  i  want  this  ––  us  but  we  need  time  .  and  if  nothing  changes  then  maybe  it’s  something  we  can  revisit  later  down  the  line  .  ”  the  words  tumble  out  before  they’re  able  to  stop  themselves  .  “  but  promise  me  you  won’t  wait  around  -–  that  we  won’t  wait  around  .  ”  //  @delicatlueur

[delicatlueur]

                    joey   ,   rooted   to   his   spot   with   a   shot   glass   still   in   hand   ,   listens   quietly   .       there’s   a   tightness   in   his   chest   as   he   absorbs   every   word   ,   feeling   utterly   stuck   .       caught   in   this   internal   battle   ,   torn   between   what   his   heart   wants   and   the   reality   slowly   unfolding   before   him   .       he   had   come   here   full   of   hope   ,   seeking   clarity   ,   maybe   a   way   to   start   things   over   .       but   now   ,   standing   there   ,   faced   with   another   definitive   end   to   their   story   ,   he   questions   his   decision   to   come   .       maybe   it   would’ve   been   easier   ,   less   painful   ,   to   stay   at   home   ,   left   only   to   wonder   about   larissa   and   their   kiss   ,   away   from   this   hard   conversation   .       it’s   delicate   ,   this   limbo   he   finds   himself   in   .       a   limbo   of   holding   on   and   letting   go   ,   where   every   word   coming   from   lari   is   just   as   comforting   as   it   is   painful   ,   gives   hope   only   to   take   it   away   .

                    “   got   it   ,   ”       he   mumbles   ,   brown   eyes   reflecting   a   combination   of   acceptance   and   that   small   ,   persistent   hope   ,   a   look   that’s   always   been   there   when   it   comes   to   lari   .       “   i’m   not   here   to   push   for   something   that   might   not   be   right   for   us   …   ”       he   pauses   ,   lifting   his   gaze   to   meet   hers   .       he’s   trying   to   read   between   the   lines   here   ,   to   understand   the   unsaid   as   much   as   the   spoken   .       because   …       the   truth   is   ,   it’s   in   their   hands   —   it   always   has   been   .       he’s   at   their   beck   and   call   ;       their   words   have   the   power   to   claim   him   .       but   whatever   she   decides   ,   whatever   she   feels   is   right   ,   he’d   accept   .       if   she   believes   their   feelings   will   fade   ,   he   will   nod   ,   offer   a   gentle   kiss   on   her   temple   ,   muster   a   smile   ,   and   hide   the   hurt   inside   ,   until   she   figures   out   what   she   truly   wants   …       if   he   is   what   she   truly   wants   .       “   i   just   needed   to   know   .   ”

                    he   steps   forward   ,   deliberately   closing   the   distance   between   them   .       heart   pounds   against   his   chest   ,   and   an   accepting   smile   slowly   forms   on   his   lips       (  a   bittersweet   smile   that   doesn’t   quite   reach   his   eyes  )   .       “   lari   ,   listen   ,   i   get   it   .       it   wasn’t   a   matter   of   us   not   being   compatible   or   not   having   enough   love   .       it’s   just   our   lives   ,   our   jobs   ,   our   constant   moving   around   .       they   just   kept   getting   in   the   middle   of   everything   .       and   honestly   ,   they’re   still   doing   it   .       but   i   want   you   in   my   life   ,   in   any   shape   or   form   i   can   have   you   .       if   that   means   just   as   friends   ,   so   be   it   .   ”       he   swallows   hard   ,   the   words   heavy   on   his   tongue   .       “   and   just   for   the   record   ,   i’m   scared   shitless   too   ,   you   know   ?       scared   of   fucking   this   up   ,   of   crossing   a   line   in   our   friendship   …       which   i   did   .       and   i’m   damn   sorry   for   that   .       i   really   fucked   up   .       but   i   want   this   to   work   ,   our   friendship   ,   because   …   ”       he   pauses   ,   searching   for   the   right   words   .       “   i   can’t   stand   the   fucking   thought   of   not   having   you   in   my   life   .   ”       the   admission   hangs   in   the   air   ,   raw   and   unguarded   .       he   steps   even   closer   ,   closing   the   remaining   space   as   he   wraps   them   in   a   tight   hug   .       gently   ,   lips   find   their   temple   ,   leaving   a   soft   kiss   .       //       @lcrissas

          no  sooner  does  the  bottle  of  cachaçha  touches  the  counter  does  lari  snag  the  glass  .  eager  to  have  alcohol  serve  as  a  buffer  for  the  tough  conversion  they’re  bound  to  have  .  she  tries  not  to  think  about  the  last  time  they’d  enjoyed  a  drink  together  .  their  breathing  momentarily  seizes  in  their  throat  as  they  bring  the  glass  up  to  their  lips  .  he  came  here  to  see  her  .  and  he’s  right  .  what  does  this  all  mean  ?  she  tosses  the  shot  of  cachaçha  back  ,  letting  the  warmth  from  the  liquor  bloom  to  her  chest  .  “  i  ––  ”  lari  starts  ,  only  to  pause  as  they  attempt  to  find  the  right  words  .  “  that  kiss  really  shouldn’t  have  meant  something  .  ”  she  catches  her  lower  lip  between  her  teeth  .  “  but  it  did  and  i  wish  that  i  could  ignore  that  feeling  but  i  can’t  .  ”  

she  finally  looks  up  to  meet  joey’s  gaze  .  “  i  want  to  believe  there’s  something  and  we’re  not  done  yet  …  ”  she  trails  off  with  a  sigh  and  sets  her  glass  down  .  “  but  i’m  terrified  ,  joey  .  ”  emotional  vulnerability  had  never  been  her  strong  suit  but  here  she  is  ,  moments  away  from  almost  bearing  her  heart  to  him  .  “  and  truthfully  ,  i  don’t  know  where  we  stand  .  maybe  we’re  just  feeling  this  way  because  we’re  not  over  each  other  .  i’m  sure  the  feeling  will  pass  .  ”  it  has  to  .  this  relationship  ended  for  a  reason  ,  right  ?  no  one  said  navigating  a  breakup  would  be  easy  .  

“  the  issue  wasn’t  that  we  weren’t  compatible  .  ”  if  anything  ,  their  impromptu  kiss  was  proof  of  that  .  “  i  just  ––  ”  presses  their  lips  together  and  inhales  sharply  .  “  i’ve  already  lost  you  as  a  partner  ,  i  don’t  think  i  can  handle  losing  you  as  a  friend  too  .  ”  //  @delicatlueur

[delicatlueur]

                    “   yeah   ,   st.   moritz   ,   that’s   the   one   !       good   place   ,   good   snow   ,   and   ,   oh   man   ,   the   resort   ...       such   a   comfy   bed   ,   ”       muses   ,   words   sparse   ,   as   always   ,   but   carrying   that   raw   honesty   of   his   .       (   and   you   can   almost   hear   the   unspoken   ‘   wish   we   were   there   ’   in   his   tone   too   !   )   .       shoots   an   eye   roll   ,   leaning   in   with   a   laugh   that’s   genuine   and   a   bit   self-mocking   ,   all   as   a   hand   casually   finds   their   waist   .       “   hey   now   ,   was   worth   a   shot   ,   you   know   ?       could’ve   worked   .   ”       okay   ,   so   maybe   joey’s   missing   more   than   just   the   best   snow   they   both   have   seen   .       he’s   definitely   missing   them   .       and   it’s   wrong   ,   so   wrong   of   him   ,   to   be   reaching   out   for   her   like   this   ,   letting   his   fingers   linger   at   their   waist   ,   leaning   in   a   bit   too   much   …       it’s   not   the   best   move   ,   especially   when   larissa   herself   brought   someone   else   here   .       “   …   if   only   someone   didn’t   decide   to   launch   a   snowball   ambush   right   as   i   was   picking   up   speed   .   ”

          “  st.  moritz  ?  i  suppose  not  but  the  snow  here  will  have  to  do  .  it’s  better  than  what  we  see  in  the  city  that’s  for  sure  .  although  ,  there  was  that  one  year  it  snowed  so  hard  someone  decided  to  try  and  snowboard  on  the  streets  ,  remember  that  ?  ”

[delicatlueur]

                    it’s   bittersweet   ,   really   .       watching   larissa   talk   about   their   date   ,   the   way   their   smile   lingers   even   when   they   fall   into   silence   …       makes   joey   ache   inside   .       but   he   agreed   to   this   ,   to   being   friends   ,   to   keep   each   other   in   the   loop   .       and   really   ,   he’s   genuinely   happy   for   her   .       she’s   so   starry - eyed   about   mona   ,   and   they   have   time   for   each   other   …       time   joey   and   lari   never   seemed   to   find   when   they   were   together   .       “   yeah   ,   figured   .       mona   seems   nice   .       super   kind   .       you   probably   know   her   way   better   than   me   though   .   ”       after   all   ,   they   went   on   a   date   ,   and   he   only   knows   mona   from   those   events   where   they   ended   up   sitting   near   each   other   .       “   hmmm   ,   not   really   ,   no   …       but   i’ve   been   hanging   out   with   rory   .       you   know   ,   harlowe’s   cousin   ?       they’re   cool   ,   funny   .       probably   just   sticks   around   for   the   weed   ,   though   .   ”

         “  uhmm  ,  yeah  .  we  had  a  good  time  .  ”  there’s  a  smile  on  their  face  as  they  recall  the  date  .  this  isn’t  weird  at  all  .  talking  to  your  ex  about  someone  new  you’re  seeing  .  but  they  suppose  this  is  how  it  is  since  they  want  to  remain  friends  .  “  anyway  ,  ”  clears  their  throat  .  “  are  you  seeing  anyone  ?  ”

[delicatlueur]

                    the   way   larissa’s   gaze   lingers   on   him   doesn't   go   unnoticed   ,   and   joey   feels   that   all   too   familiar   rush   of   emotions   that   comes   whenever   they   look   his   way   .       “   thanks   for   this   ,   ”       he   mumbles   ,   referring   to   the   shirt   .       without   making   it   overly   dramatic   ,   he   turns   his   back    to   them   to   slip   off   his   wet   shirt   ,   revealing   the   toned   silhouette   of   his   back   .       the   few   tattoos   he’s   gotten   over   the   years   peek   out   ,   each   one   telling   a   story   ,   including   the   ones   that   were   inspired   by   them   .       after   pulling   on   the   dry   shirt   ,   he   takes   a   deep   breath   ,   turning   to   face   them   again   .

                    the   cachaça   bottle   reminds   him   of   late   nights   spent   with   her   ,   talking   and   sipping   shots   .       it’s   painful   to   think   it   might   now   be   used   to   discuss   another   potential   end   of   them   .       “   honestly   ,   ”       he   starts   ,   pouring   a   shot   for   himself   and   then   one   for   her   .       he   takes   a   deep   breath   ,   his   fingertips   drumming   lightly   against   the   countertop   .       “   i   had   to   see   you   .       not   ‘cause   of   the   goddamn   rain   ,   or   ‘cause   i   was   close   by   …       that   kiss   …   ”       he   stops   cold   ,   the   shot   glass   finding   his   lips   ,   the   cachaça   burning   a   trail   down   his   throat   .       “   it   messed   with   my   fucking   head   .       i   just   can’t   shake   it   .       thought   i   had   figured   things   out   …       but   then   that   happened   ,   and   it’s   been   looping   in   my   head   ever   since   .       did   it   mean   something   ,   lari   ?       to   you   ?       ‘cause   for   me   …       it’s   like   i’m   right   back   there   —   to   us   at   our   best   .       and   now   i’m   here   ,   wondering   if   there’s   still   …       you   know   ,   something   .       something   that   says   we’re   not   done   yet   .   ”       he   finally   meets   her   gaze   ,   searching   for   any   hint   of   the   answer   he’s   seeking   .

                    he   sighs   ,   raking   a   hand   through   his   black   hair   ,   the   action   betraying   his   nervousness   .        “    i   just   …       i   need   to   know   where   we   stand   .        because   i’ve   felt   …       sort   of   lost   …       and   i   can’t   seem   to   find   my   way   not   knowing   .   ”       //       @lcrissas

         it’s  cliche  as  fuck  but  his  admission  makes  their  heart  flutter  .  she’s  always  appreciated  joey’s  forthrightness  .  direct  .  concise  .  makes  it  easier  to  communicate  .  “  now  see  ,  you  can’t  say  that  and  not  expect  a  person  to  get  their  hopes  up  ,  ”  they  tease  .  in  hindsight  ,  they’re  glad  he’s  here  .  their  kiss  ,  as  good  as  it  was  ,  shouldn’t  have  happened  .  but  it  also  left  a  lot  of  unsaid  things  and  potentially  unresolved  feelings  .  so  much  for  moving  on  .  lari  had  tried  not  to  agonize  over  what  it  could  mean  .  distracting  herself  with  work  .  going  out  with  friends  .  staying  in  paris  for  a  little  while  longer  despite  having  nearly  three  weeks  off  .

 they  love  him  .  and  they  always  will  .  and  maybe  in  due  time  this  romantic  love  will  fizzle  out  into  something  platonic  .  that’s  easier  said  than  done  .  gaze  will  dart  to  the  way  his  shirt  clings  to  him  .  it  takes  all  their  resolve  to  tear  their  eyes  away  and  walk  to  retrieve  a  spare  t-shirt  for  him  .  “  did  some  rearranging  since  the  last  time  you  were  here  .  ”  halts  at  her  liquor  cabinet  and  bends  down  to  retrieve  the  bottle  of  cachaçha  .  “  but  is  that  even  a  question  ?  i’ll  always  have  a  bottle  handy  .  ”  they  set  it  down  on  the  counter  along  with  two  glasses  before  handing  him  the  shirt  .  “  so  why  are  you  here  ?  ”  they’re  going  to  have  to  talk  about  it  sooner  or  later  .  //  @delicatlueur

[delicatlueur]

                     joey   sets   the   helmet   down   on   the   welcome   mat   ,   mindful   to   larissa’s   floor   .       “   i   could’ve   ,   but   then   i’d   fuckin’   miss   out   on   seeing   you   .   ”       he’s   always   been   the   type   to   shoot   straight   ,   even   if   in   fewer   words   .       never   one   to   sugarcoat   feelings   or   intentions   .       if   he   feels   it   ,   he   says   it   ,   and   it’s   this   very   trait   that   finds   him   in   this   particular   situation   .       he’s   there   because   he   needs   clarity   ;       a   sense   of   where   they   stand   ,   the   significance   of   their   recent   kiss   .        demanding   has   never   been   his   style   ,   no   ,   not   even   when   larissa’s   ‘  i   love   you  ’   remained   frustratingly   unsaid   for   months   .       he   simply   wants   transparency   .        understand   their   intentions   ,   respect   their   boundaries   .       (   precisely   why   a   conversation   is   necessary   .       even   though   they   kissed   him   back   ,   he   may   have   unintentionally   crossed   a   line   they’d   painstakingly   set   )   .

                       with   a   grateful   smile   ,   he   reaches   for   the   towel   ,   its   fabric   coarse   against   his   face   and   neck   as   he   proceeds   to   dry   himself   off   .        the   damp   shirt   clings   to   his   skin   ,   serving   as   a   reminder   that   he   should   change   into   dry   clothes   ,   or   at   least   remove   his   shirt   ,   before   risking   a   cold   .        but   ,   with   the   undeniable   tension   in   the   air   ,   he   hesitates   .       she’s   been   actively   avoiding   him   .       the   thought   of   removing   his   shirt   in   front   of   her   feels   like   a   scene   out   of   a   cringe - worthy   teenage   drama   .        “   do   you   still   have   that   bottle   of   cachaça   up   in   the   kitchen   cabinet   above   the   sink   ?        i   could   really   go   for   a   shot   of   it   right   now   .   ”       //       @lcrissas

         when  lari  swings  her  front  door  open  ,  the  last  person  she  expects  to  see  is  joey  .  rain-soaked  ,  slightly  out  of  breath  and  just  overall  . . .  looking  like  that  (  complimentary  )  .  it’s  like  the  universe  wants  to  see  them  suffer  .  they  stand  ,  frozen  on  the  spot  .  it’s  joey’s  voice  that  pulls  her  back  in  .  “  hi  .  ”  their  greeting  comes  out  breathier  than  expected  .  she  steps  aside  ,  opening  the  door  wider  .  a  silent  invitation  to  enter  .  

“  i’m  pretty  sure  you  could’ve  stopped  at  the  cafe  downstairs  ,  ”  they’ll  tease  ,  shutting  the  door  .  lari  disappears  momentarily  before  returning  to  hand  a  towel  to  joey  .  had  they  not  known  any  better  ,  they  would’ve  been  quick  to  assume  that  his  sudden  appearance  was  a  coincidence  .  “  or  waited  it  out  in  the  lobby  .  ”  had  they  been  avoiding  him  since  their  kiss  ?  not  intentionally  .  work  did  most  of  the  job  so  that  she  didn’t  have  to  think  too  hard  about  it  .  were  they  about  to  have  the  dreaded  conversation  about  the  kiss  ?  part  of  her  hopes  so  .  the  other  ?  not  so  much  .  “  so  ,  ”  she  clears  her  throat  .  “  want  anything  to  drink  ?  tea  ?  coffee  ?  something  stronger  ?  ”  //  @delicatlueur

[delicatlueur]

                     joey’s   gaze   ,   deeper   and   darker   with   the   unmistakable   hunger   for   blood   ,   lifts   to   meet   larissa’s   .       his   characteristic   reserved   demeanor   momentarily   slips   as   a   half - smirk   forms   on   his   lips   .       “   life’s   full   of   surprises   .   ”       fingers   lightly   tracing   the   rim   of   his   coffee   cup   as   he   glances   down   ,   then   back   at   them   .       “   and   who   says   it’s   coffee   ?   ”       he   raises   an   eyebrow   ,   the   playful   challenge   evident   in   his   tone   .       //       @lcrissas

＊   𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘𝗗  𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥          ››         @delicatlueur ＊   𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚          ››         lari  &  joey ＊   𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡          ››          laris'  go-to  coffee  shop  ,  manhattan ＊   𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧          ››          supernatural  au  

          brows  furrow  for  a  moment  before  realization  dawns  on  her  features  at  the  familiar  face  .  she  takes  off  her  helmet  and  gets  off  her  motorcycle  .  “  well  this  is  a  surprise  ,  ”  lari  comments  ,  walking  over  to  joey  .  “  i  didn’t  think  vampires  could  subsist  of  coffee  .  ”