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yeschefthankyouchef · 1 year ago

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i was listening to “all i need to hear” by the 1975 today and it made me think of these two idiots. came to check on them and imagine my shock and excitement when i realized that i missed not one BUT TWO UPDATES?! i’ve been missing them so much and this chapter did not disappoint - although it did hurt like a mf🤠

bear with me and my many many notes for this long and beautiful update🫶🏻

“Carmy wouldn’t lie, he was a little miffed that Mikey had given you a job here but strictly forbade him from even thinking about working at The Beef, but it was okay because he had a plan.”

GODDAMN!!! we’re just jumping straight into it! okay, okay, i see you lol. poor carmy - mikey is such an idiot (loving) for giving carmy something to be angsty at baby for

“She was nice he would give her that, but she always looked at him like she knew a secret he didn’t.”

maybe, JUST MAYBE, it’s because you look like a lovesick fool around baby you silly boy

“He had wanted to draw you for a while, and he tried once, but after picking out everything wrong with the drawing he decided that maybe your kind of features weren’t meant to be confined to the lines on a piece of paper.”

he is a lovesick FOOL. drawing her?? in the book SHE got him?? i’m dead fr.

“I don’t draw Claire that much do I?” The vulnerability in his tone catches you off guard.”

i knew that going back in time would possibly mean some claire angst and the masochist in me loves it but i also need her to swiftly ✨get the fuck away✨

“The ending joke is made to bring yourself back to reality, if Carmy was drawing you it wasn’t for the same reasons he was drawing Claire.”

YOUCH. that one! that one hurt deep. the pain of unrequited (she thinks) love is other worldly.

“he wouldn’t lie though, he was excited for the day he would earn that same reaction after you tried his food.”

broooooooo just tell her you love her already

“The betrayal on his face when he found out you chose to go to a college on the West Coast.”

tell me why my heart just dropped to my feet even though i already know they get separated? it’s so an odd feeling to know that it’s the beginning of the end while the characters are still in blissful ignorance

“Yeah, you’re right. Not sure why I brought it up.”

have you even lived life if you haven’t experienced the PAIN of having to say this sentence. ouch.

“Thankfully though you had rejected every advance, and what kind of friend would Carmy be if he asked you to prom at the dinghy sticky table in the back of his family’s business?”

i was 🤏🏼 this close to throwing hands with carmy until i read this paragraph… boi is on THIN ICE still though

“Being able to connect your mom and your work mom through food always brought warmth to your heart.”

okay but this sentence has me fully melted on the floor - i love tina and i love the idea that baby is family to the beef family just as much as the berzatto family. this will definitely make things interesting when carmy takes over the beef in da future.

“It’s going to hurt if he doesn’t feel the same way, but you can’t keep living ya life waiting for him. You can be there for him as much as you want, that’s fine ma, but at the end of the day you gotta remember you’re the only person who got you.”

oooooooh yeah. carmys going to get his ass kicked in the future i’m calling it now.

“You know I’m proud of you right?” you nodded as you listened to Mikey’s words. “You’re gonna do big fucking things, Baby, don’t forget about us little guys alright.”

jesus christ this hurts so good - you just know this is one of those moments that just HAUNTS baby after he dies. these words are never leaving her fr.

“Mikey would speak to Carmy about it, if there was one thing he would get his little brother to understand, it was that allowing you to walk out of his life would be a colossal mistake.”

LOL too bad its going to fall on deaf ears

“Forcing him to constantly postpone the question he so desperately wanted answered”

the way that baby has all but asked him to prom and this idiot is still nervous to ask her

“Not that he wanted to go to prom with you romantically or anything like that”

it’s okay king we’re all delusional

“Looks like Carmy finally asked Claire to prom.” The words made your ears buzz, and the tickets in your back pocket felt like they were on fire now.”

NO HE DIDNT. NO HE FUCKING DIDNT. okay i take it all back i’m gonna pummel him for this. shaking my DAMN HEAD.

“Don’t sell yourself short, maybe I want to go to prom with you to mean something.”

honestly i’m team hayden for this - carmy should be taking notes

“Not realizing that with his overall awkward and shy personality, the girl in front of him thought this was his way of asking her to prom.”

okay so he’s safe from getting pummeled for now since hes just a stupid dumb boy but he’s still on thin ice.

“Your eyes widened at Carmy’s insinuation that the only reason anyone would go to prom with you was to fulfill their carnal desires.”

i think at this point i need to just kick his ass because everytime he gets out of a hole he jumps into a deeper one w t f

“He didn’t want to give you a reason to cease all contact after your move.”

how supremely ironic and hypocritical of him

“Claire was easy to be friends with; that is until Carmy decided he liked her”

i absolutely love this paragraph and how well it shows the complexities surrounding baby’s feelings about claire. just really really well written. and also OUCH.

“You look so gorgeous, Carmy is such a tool. Well, no offense to Claire.”

on a scale of 1-10 how bad of a person am i for thinking ‘full offense to claire’ with no hesitation

“Are tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb giving you a hard time Hayden?”

THEY REALLY ARE TWEEDLE DEE AND TWEEDLE DUMB THEY ARE THEY ARE

“Richie’s a looker too, you gonna call him pretty?”

i am laughing so hard at this oh my god - i love them so much it hurts. i’m reallllllllly not excited to say goodbye to the dynamic duo😞

“Unbeknownst to the two of you Sugar had watched the whole moment play out, quickly raising the Polaroid to capture the intimate moment between the two of you.”

methinks that this is going to come into play later lolololol

“he would spend every day for the rest of his life proving that he was enough for you.”

i want to watch this carmy brawl with future carmy because future carmy did a shit job at this

“The small nod of your head was the last sign Carmy needed before he surged forward capturing your lips in a harsh kiss”

the way i can’t even be happy about this because i know the amount of absolute shit he’s about to put her through

“You didn’t even think it could even be considered a kiss, more so a smack of lips against each other.”

i do, however, love this. i love how intimate and real it is - first kisses are awkward but that’s what makes them so fun

“You sat there for a moment calming your nerves, you were sure the conversation wouldn’t be brought up while you were working, but maybe Carmy came here looking for you specifically.”

i feel some bullshit brewing and i am shaking in my boots

“So caught up in your infatuation with the boy you’d been crushing on and finally got to kiss the other night, you hardly noticed Claire.”

wowwwwwwwww that didn’t take long. i’m not even surprised but goddamn does it hurt all the same.

“You silently slid into the walk-in, maybe it was unsanitary but you didn’t think you could face anyone as you finally let the first sob wrack your body.”

crying in the walk-in builds character😤 #hotgirlshit

“Two friends stood on opposite sides of a steel door, hearts breaking in unison as it felt like everything was fighting against what they both wanted. July would come and they would part ways, promises whispered to stay in contact and remain friends, neither soul knowing what the years apart would have in store for them.”

this is such an incredible last paragraph - i am unfortunately all fucked up in the brain from carmys dumbassery lol. boys gonna have to put in some serious work in the future - he is truly his own worst enemy

interlude one | parle-moi

↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

summary: a glance into the final couple of weeks of carmy and baby's senior year.

wc: 13.7k

song inspo: parle-moi

please don't let any graphics hinder your imagination of fem!reader/baby, you could imagine her as a fucking smurf for all i care. any pictures used are NOT a representation of baby they just fit the chapter!!!!

also i describe hayden as atj's character in kick-ass because that's what i was watching while writing this chapter but you could imagine him as rasputin or liteally whoever you're into.

but also like atj and jaw are literally the same person just different fonts ya know? happy reading!

May 2013

Carmy watched as you manned the front of house at The Beef, you and Richie working seamlessly around each other as the both of you took turns at the cash register and running food to the customers who had decided to dine in. Carmy wouldn’t lie, he was a little miffed that Mikey had given you a job here but strictly forbade him from even thinking about working at The Beef, but it was okay because he had a plan. Carmy was going to pursue his dream of becoming a chef, not only that, he was going to become the best fucking chef he could be and prove to Michael exactly why he deserved to work alongside him at the family business.

It wasn’t necessarily fair for Carmy to be mad at you for earning yourself a job at The Beef, and he wasn’t. He knew you were only working there to save up money, he knew how badly you and your mom needed it. Things had gotten worse with your mom in the past two years. One of your aunts had come from the west coast to stay with the two of you as you finished up your senior year waiting to whisk the two of you away at the first chance she got. Carmy had met her a handful of times. She was nice he would give her that, but she always looked at him like she knew a secret he didn’t.

Leaning against the end of the counter as he waited for you to go on break, he watched as you made your way back from the dining area to the front, doing his best to capture your features. The slight sheen to your skin from running back and forth and the slight humidity that could be felt in the air. He took notice of the way your hair decorated your head, which pieces looked out of place. Carmy studied you with a curious eye, fingers drumming against the small sketchbook you had got him for his birthday. He had wanted to draw you for a while, and he tried once, but after picking out everything wrong with the drawing he decided that maybe your kind of features weren’t meant to be confined to the lines on a piece of paper.

Carmy watched as you laughed at something stupid Richie said, your laughter singing through the restaurant. Even as you turned to the window of the kitchen to share the joke with the rest of your crew, the large smile still hadn’t left your face.

You turned from the window removing the apron from around your waist as you approached Carmy, the remnants of laughter still on your face. You grabbed his hand pulling him along to the dining area where the two of you plopped down at your favorite corner table. The patrons are still there sending greetings to both of you. You nodded at Carmy’s sketchbook that now sat on the table, his hand lying flat atop it.

“Got anything new for me to look at?” You eyed the small book, always happy to look at whatever new drawing had taken over Carmy’s mind, even if they were of Claire.

Carmy followed your line of sight, a slight blush rising to his cheeks at your intrigue. He usually wouldn’t think twice about letting you parse through his artwork, your genuine interest always pushing him to keep up his hobby. “Uh, I’m not sure if you’ll want to see what’s in this sketchbook.”

Carmy’s fingers began drumming away again, the constant contact with the small book keeping him calm. You sent a teasing smile his way “Why afraid I’ll get tired of seeing your drawings of Claire?” You had meant for the quip to be a joke, although you were tired of seeing Claire’s face staring back at you through Carmy’s drawings, it wasn’t your friend's fault that she had stolen the heart of the boy you had been pining after for the better part of a year.

The frown on Carmy’s face told you that he may have taken offense to the slight joke, your teasing smile dropping as you felt the guilt creep in on you. “I don’t draw Claire that much do I?” The vulnerability in his tone catches you off guard.

You quickly shook your head wanting to appease him, “No Carm, guess I’ve just been around Mikey and Richie too much working here.” You sent him a small smile hoping to raise his spirits, “Word of advice though, some people might find it a bit weird if they knew someone was drawing them without their permission.” You leaned your head on the palm of your hand as you watched Carmy flush even more.

Carmy felt the heat of his blush rising on his neck and painting his cheeks an even deeper red, of course, you would think he was weird for randomly drawing your friend. His lack of experience and newfound fascination channeled into his drawings as he saw no other way to deal with his crush on Claire. He cleared his throat, eyes finding yours again, “Would you?” At the confusion on your face he swallowed, not wanting you to think him any weirder than he already felt, “Would you find it weird if I was drawing you?”

You watched Carmy sink into himself after asking you that question, your own heart melting a bit about the shyness Carmy exuded. “Carmen,” your hands reach out to clasp his between your own, “I would be flattered if you ever decided to draw me. Hell, maybe I’ll even commission you.” The ending joke is made to bring yourself back to reality, if Carmy was drawing you it wasn’t for the same reasons he was drawing Claire.

If it was possible for Carmy to blush even more, he was sure he would’ve looked like a tomato sitting in front of you. You always knew exactly what to say to stave his self-doubt, but recently your words had been more warming to him, something that he couldn’t explain. But he found himself hanging on to every word that left your lips a little bit more.

Before Carmy could get his response out Tina appeared by your table with two signature beef sandwiches for the two teenagers she had watched grow up. The two of you thanked her watching as she made her way back into the kitchen, not being able to spare a minute with the dinner rush starting soon.

You smiled up at Carmy before digging into your food, the warm bread and the seasoned beef caressed your tongue. You let out a sound of appreciation as you swallowed your first bite head tossing back to savor the flavors in your mouth. Carmy let out a small chuckle as he watched you, always finding your reaction to be overdramatic, he wouldn’t lie though, he was excited for the day he would earn that same reaction after you tried his food.

A content sigh escaped your lips as you wiped your mouth with the provided napkin, “I’m gonna miss this when I’m gone.” Carmy could hear the sadness in your voice, his own sense of sadness filling him as he remembered what fate held for the two of you after graduation. The two of you would be separated from each other in what felt like the first time in forever.

Carmy sat his sandwich down, slumping a little in his seat while trying his best not to bring the mood down, “You leave at the end of July right?” His question met your ears as you took in his kicked-puppy look, you remembered how well Carmy took the news when he found out. The betrayal on his face when he found out you chose to go to a college on the West Coast.

You nodded your eyes not meeting his as you tried to lessen the hurt in your heart. It's not like you wanted to be that far from Carmy but it really was out of your hands. Your mom and aunt decided it would be best to be closer to family amid your mom’s ever-declining health. “Yeah Carm, our flight leaves on the 31st.”

You took another bite out of your sandwich appetite dwindling, but not wanting to waste the food you know the crew loved making. The two of you finished your sandwiches in silence, neither of you wanting to talk about the future and more than happy just to sit in the other’s presence.

Reaching for Carmy’s plate you stacked your own on top of his before moving them onto the edge of the table, ready to take them when your break came to an end in five minutes. You sat up straighter in your seat imbuing yourself with confidence as you prepared yourself to broach the topic you weren’t sure Carmy even cared for.

“So Carm, prom is coming up, have you given it any thought?” Carmy knew you were trying to come across as nonchalant, but the gleam in your eyes told him otherwise. Hiding the small smile that graced his lips, he watched as you tried hard to act as though you didn’t care about prom. It was a bit funny to him.

“You know it's not really my scene Baby,” he watched as your shoulders slumped a bit. You had been expecting his answer so you weren’t sure why it affected you so much

You nodded your head, “Yeah, you’re right. Not sure why I brought it up.” You began playing with your fingers, you aren’t sure what you were hoping would be different this time compared to the other times you had brought it up to him. You knew Carmy wasn’t interested in you romantically, and you knew he wasn’t interested in going to prom, but you were holding out hope thinking he might pity you and join you at prom as your friend as one last hurrah before your big move.

Carmy felt bad, he didn’t mean to make you sad. He was just waiting for the right time to ask you. He knew how much prom meant to you, and had listened to you talk his ear off about going to your high school prom after your mom and his mom showed you pictures from their respective proms. He was still working up the confidence to do so though, every time he thought he was ready he would overhear the idiots in his homeroom with their own plans to ask you. Thankfully though you had rejected every advance, and what kind of friend would Carmy be if he asked you to prom at the dinghy sticky table in the back of his family’s business?

“I’ll think about it okay?” It was Carmy’s turn to reach for your hands, to assuage the sadness he could see overtaking your features. Your eyes met Carmy’s not sure if you had heard him correctly, you wouldn’t allow yourself to get too excited at the prospect that Carmy might want to attend the prom.

You sent Carmy a small smile and a nod before standing up from your seat and grabbing the two dishes still sitting on the table, “I’ll hold you to that Bear.” You headed towards the door to the kitchen disappearing from Carmy’s sight.

It was always odd for Carmy to hear you use that nickname for him. You had usually just stuck to ‘Carmen’ or ‘Carmy’ when you were feeling extra friendly. But hearing you call him ‘Bear’ always made his heart beat a little faster, the way the nickname left your lips making him feel warm on the inside. Knowing that such a special nickname had countlessly graced your tongue, a family name just for him that you had felt comfortable enough calling him always made his head fuzzy and his chest feel like it was on fire. The sound of the bell above the door snapped him out of his thoughts, he quickly gathered up his sketchbook, he didn’t know where he was headed, but hopefully, some fresh air would give him the courage he needed to finally ask you to prom.

Your shift ended an hour ago, but you always stayed later to help the crew clean up. Mikey began giving you rides home as you took on more hours, the one plus side of working for your neighbor. At that moment Tina was helping you clean the front of the house her favorite oldies CD popped into the ancient radio, the two of you had created a tradition since you started working at The Beef. Tina would shoo Richie to the back to clean her area so the two of you could catch up.

Tina had taken you under her wing when you first started working there, teaching you what she could in her spare time. Although you had no plans to work in a kitchen anytime soon, you still cherished the time spent together taking what she taught you and using them in your kitchen. Happily sharing with Tina what your mom thought about a recipe she taught you and bringing one of your mom's famous recipes for Tina to try.

Being able to connect your mom and your work mom through food always brought warmth to your heart. The women in your life all doing their best to raise you to be the best woman you could be. As you and Tina finished cleaning up, the two of you headed to the dining area where you would usually wait for Mikey as he finished up whatever he was doing in his office and Tina would sometimes keep you company.

The two of you occupied the same table that had earlier housed you and Carmy. “So did Carmy get his head out of his ass and ask you to prom?” The smile on Tina’s face showed how excited she was to hear about your progress in getting Carmy open to going to prom.

You hid your face in your hands, your big smile hiding behind it, “He told me he’d think about it, which isn’t a no but, I’m too scared to get my hopes up,” You smiled in Tina’s direction watching as she nodded the smile never leaving her face.

“Mama, why don’t you just ask him yourself?” Tina questioned searching your eyes, your smile faltered as you listened to Tina’s question, why hadn’t you just asked Carmy? It would’ve given you a straight answer, and you wouldn’t have had to wait around while he was being indecisive.

Your eyebrows pinched together as you looked at Tina in earnest, “But what if he says no?” The self-doubt creeping in, of course, you would ask him as friends, you didn’t want to freak him out but insinuating you wanted something more, even though you did.

Tina shrugged her shoulders, a small warm smile decorating her features “You can’t control his reaction Mija.” She leaned forward to clasp your hands in hers, “If you don’t ask you’ll never know.” You could always count on Tina’s solid advice to ground you.

And she was right the worst thing that could happen if you asked Carmy to the prom was his swift rejection. But the answer would always be rejection if you never asked. Tina squeezed your hands as you nodded, letting her words sink in as you calculated the best way to ask Carmy to prom.

“I see the way you look at him mama, and listen,” one of her hands shot out to raise your chin so you were looking at her directly. “It’s going to hurt if he doesn’t feel the same way, but you can’t keep living ya life waiting for him. You can be there for him as much as you want, that’s fine ma, but at the end of the day you gotta remember you’re the only person who got you.”

You could feel the tears on your waterline threatening to spill out, leave it to Tina to serve you the most heartfelt advice on a random Thursday night at a dining table at The Beef.

“I’m not saying you gotta let go of your feelings for him, just don’t lose yourself waiting for that boy to come to his senses.” With that Tina patted your hands as she stood from her seat, coming to your side of the table and planting a loving kiss on your forehead.

“You get home safe now ma, a’ight, make sure Mikey ain’t driving all stupid with you in that car.” You laughed at the jab Tina made about Mikey’s driving.

Standing up the two of you embraced each other in a hug, you were grateful to have Tina in your, and you were grateful to have met the Berzattos because without them you wouldn’t have been able to make all the wonderful connections you have now.

You waited for Tina to grab her stuff so you could walk her out. The two of you exiting The Beef you stood outside the entrance watching Tina as she made her way down the street, waiting until her petite figure was officially out of your sight before heading back inside and locking the door behind you.

Venturing to the back you stopped in the office doorway, Mikey sitting in the desk chair as Richie leaned against the desk the two of them whispering fiercely between each other. You gently knocked on the wall hoping to catch their attention, you learned the hard way that being privy to any whispered conversation these two had was never worth it.

“Uh, I’m ready when you are Mikey,” you looked between the two of them, the two giving off a more sketchy vibe than they usually did.

“You uh, didn’t hear anything you weren’t supposed to did you?” Richie’s question caused you to frown. They were definitely doing some sketchy shit that you wanted no part in.

You rolled your eyes before bending down to pick up your backpack on the floor next to the door. “You two are so fucking weird,” you crossed your arms over your chest as you looked between the two of them. Mikey finally rose from his seat and tossed you the keys that were sitting on the desk.

“Hey! That’s rude you know, I think I’m fucking great,” Richie’s response caused a tired smile to form on your lips.

“Yeah Rich, you can be cool sometimes. Goodnight Rich, get home safe.” You sent a small wave his way before leading the way to the car parked in the back of the lot, wanting nothing more than to get home, shower, and bundle up in your warm bed.

You unlocked your door before quickly sliding in and reaching over to unlock Mikey’s door. Silently rushing him along and immediately turning on the heat as Mikey settled into his seat reversing out of the lot.

“What were you and Richie even doing anyway?” You looked over in Mikey’s direction as your hands were placed in front of the vents supplying warmth to your body.

Mikey smiled at you before facing the road again your curiosity was always something he could count on, “Just keeping the business afloat. Nothing to worry over.” You nodded along, no stranger to the many problems The Beef ran into. It shocked you sometimes that it was still up and running, but you knew Mikey always found a way to keep things going.

“How’s school?” The question gained your attention, one of these talks is almost mandatory between the two of you, Mikey checking in on you and in a not-so-subtle way checking in on Carmy through you. You couldn’t pretend you knew why it was so hard for them to just talk to each other, but you guessed any effort was effort.

“Alright, I guess, just preparing for finals. Oh, guess what?” The giddiness in your voice earned a chuckle from Mikey as he nodded for you to go on. “I’m planning to ask Carmy to prom, but like as friends you know?” It was a bit ironic that every Berzatto except the one that mattered knew about your crush, but according to them, you weren’t very subtle about it.

Mikey’s laugh crumbled your resolve a bit, you weren’t sure if he was laughing at you or your idea. You flicked his shoulder sure he couldn’t feel it through his jacket, he raised his hand as a way to ward off your attack. Not that it was doing anything to hurt him.

You watched as Mikey pulled into your driveway never forcing you to cross the street on late nights. His hand reached for the ignition turning the car off as he shifted to face you in his seat.

“You know I’m proud of you right?” you nodded as you listened to Mikey’s words. “You’re gonna do big fucking things, Baby, don’t forget about us little guys alright.” You laughed a little confused about where this topic of conversation was coming from.

“I could never forget about you Brother Bear.” You teased the childhood nickname you gave Mikey pulling his lips into a smile. “I’m gonna write about you one day Mikey, gotta remember you to do that.” You watched as he just stared at you eyes roaming over your face, you reached across the console pressing a quick kiss on his cheek before moving to get out of the car.

Mikey’s hand reached out to grab your arm, “You gonna look out for Carmy even when you leave right?” You nodded at the question, feeling no need to elicit a verbal response. “Just keep an eye out for me will you, you’re good for Carmy.” You had no plans to cut Carmy off after your move, the two of you already discussed the best ways to keep in contact, the best season to catch a flight in.

“Come on now Mikey, you Berzatto’s are stuck with me for life, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” You laughed as Mikey rolled his eyes

“Get your ass in the house, Baby, I told your mom I’d stop bringing you home so late,” you nodded, picking your backpack up from by your feet on the floor. You quickly walked to your front door turning back to send Mikey a wave as he watched you get in safely.

Mikey sighed as he easily parked the car in his driveway just across the street. It was selfish but he needed you to stay in Carmy’s life in whatever way you could manage. Carmy would need you, the role you played in his life making him a better person than he already was. Mikey just hoped for your sake that Carmy put in the effort to keep you in his life, his little brother honing in on the Berzatto family habit of self-sabotage.

Mikey would speak to Carmy about it, if there was one thing he would get his little brother to understand, it was that allowing you to walk out of his life would be a colossal mistake.

Carmy was waiting for you in front of the school. Since getting your licenses the two of you had been taking turns driving the other to school, and today was his turn. He knew it would take you a good minute to make your way to the entrance since your class was located at the back of campus. It didn’t bother him though, it gave him a chance to try and calm his nerves. There was one week left until prom and he still hadn’t asked you.

He purchased the tickets a week ago. You had given him the perfect opportunity at lunch when you decided to spend the period getting help from your creative writing teacher.

Carmy just never felt like it was the right time to ask you, at least that’s what he was telling himself. In reality, he had plenty of opportunities, he just kept losing his confidence. Forcing him to constantly postpone the question he so desperately wanted answered.

For example, when he was visiting with your mom over the weekend and you were teaching him your mom’s famous peach cobbler recipe. He swore he was gonna ask you in the midst of baking, he knew you were into romantic gestures. Not that he wanted to go to prom with you romantically or anything like that. But then the two of you made a mess with the flour while trying to perfect your mom's homemade biscuits, flour getting everywhere including on the two of you.

Carmy decided as he watched you clean your face that right then was as perfect a moment as ever. The two of you were in high spirits enjoying each other's company, but then he watched as the evening light streamed through the kitchen window just perfectly. The sunlight lit up the features on your face he had somehow been overlooking for all the years he knew you. Your bright eyes and cheeky smile were solely trained on him.

And there he was standing in your mom’s kitchen, drowning in the attention you had always allotted especially for him. His smile faltered as he couldn’t help but just watch you at that moment, his breath hitched while his eyes skated over the planes of your face, the ache in his chest slowly dwindling his confidence. And Carmy decided he just couldn’t ask you that day. The timing wasn’t right. The two of you were a mess and he needed to find a bottle of Pepto Bismol asap.

So that’s how he ended up nervously waiting for you to exit school on a random Monday in May. Carmy made sure he was in the regular meeting spot as you two had dedicated it, out of the way of any other students. The two of you weren’t loners, well you weren’t, Carmy didn’t care too much for high school labels. But the two of you were fine being in each other’s presence with no need to include anyone else, and yeah sometimes you would run off with Claire or Hayden and try to invite Carmy, but Carmy didn’t need any of that. He got you and your attention every day of the week whenever he wanted, and for Carmy, that’s all he really needed.

Carmy finally spotted you making your way through the crowd of teenagers who were either waiting for their rides or just trying to prolong the day with their friends. An unconscious smile graced his features he had been waiting all day to finally just get things over with and pop the question. The two tickets held so tightly in his hands they were starting to crinkle. Letting out a deep breath, Carmy straightened up, wanting you to take his inquiry seriously, not sure his usual shyness would exhibit that he truly wanted to go to prom with you.

No longer able to wait, Carmy began walking in your direction, doing his best to avoid the bodies that didn’t care enough to pay attention to him. He made it halfway before the sight in front of him caused him to abruptly stop. Walking next to you was the tall boy he always felt himself feeling insecure around. Hayden had never shown Carmy any ill will and had even tried to include Carmy in conversation in the times he joined the two of you for lunch. But the teenager had something Carmy didn’t have; a reserve of confidence and natural charisma. The two of you had just met this year in your creative writing class and Carmy swore he would never hear the end of it.

Hayden was drinking in all your attention right now, the two of you bouncing ideas off of each other for your creative writing final. You thought Hayden was cool since your first meeting at the beginning of the year. The two of you became instant critique buddies, always asking the other to analyze a class assignment before you submitted it. At times you had thought about inviting him to hang out with you and Carmy outside of school, but you didn’t want to make Carmy uncomfortable, so the two of you remained friends inside the confines of high school.

You laughed at one of Hayden’s outlandish ideas, knowing if he turned in a paper on the topic of whatever conspiracy theory he was into at the moment they would probably withhold his diploma.

“Hey, check it out,” your eyes followed the path Hayden’s finger was pointing at, a small scowl painting your face at the scene playing out in front of you. “Looks like Carmy finally asked Claire to prom.” The words made your ears buzz, and the tickets in your back pocket felt like they were on fire now.

The two of you watched in silence as Carmy and Claire traded shy smiles with each other before he handed her one of the two tickets in his hands. When he told you he’d think about it, you weren’t aware he would think about going with someone else. The hope in your heart immediately died out as you watched the bright smile overtake Carmy’s face. You didn’t blame him, if you had the opportunity to go to prom with your crush, you obviously would have taken it too.

“You good?” The nudge to your arm broke you from your longing gaze, eyes finding Hayden’s through his dorky glasses. You nodded trying to shake the sadness off yourself, Hayden was great at reading people.

“Yeah, actually,” you took a small breath before continuing. “I know this is kind of weird, and you’re totally allowed to reject me. But would you maybe wanna go to prom with me? It doesn’t have to mean anything obviously, just two friends having a good time together.” You slipped the two tickets out of your back pocket brandishing them to Hayden. Even if you couldn’t go with Carmy you still wanted to attend prom and Hayden was a great second choice.

“Hell yeah! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me.” The lame joke caused the both of you to laugh as you shoved Hayden’s shoulder. He took one of the tickets from your hand walking backwards while still facing you. “Don’t sell yourself short, maybe I want to go to prom with you to mean something.” His loud voice catches the attention of the teenagers surrounding you. A group of underclass girls fawning over how cute they thought the scene between you two was.

You watched as Hayden disappeared to his car, a small laugh leaving your lips at Hayden’s antics, a part of you feeling giddy at the idea that someone wanted to go to prom with you as more than friends.

Carmy wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring at the interaction going on between you and Hayden, but it sure did suck the confidence right out of his insecure body. The thought of going to prom with you was just another failed idea as he was sure Hayden would ask you.

“You okay there Berzatto?” Carmy was snapped out of his trance by the presence that made their way to his side. His eyes shot to Claire’s, momentarily widening before he tried to calm his exterior. He nodded his head, giving himself a minute before even thinking of gracing Claire with an incoherent response.

“Ye-Yeah, just waiting for Baby,” his free hand raised to point in your direction as Claire smiled at him, eyes leaving him for only a moment. He dropped his hand not knowing how to continue the conversation, Claire was your friend and yeah he did have his fair share of classes with her, and she did only live down the street from the two of you. But he had never been alone with her on purpose.

The two of them stood in a stilted silence, both overcome by their shyness to say anything. Trying to ease the awkwardness Claire’s eyes landed on the tickets still tightly grasped in Carmy’s hands, finally finding an out to the silence. “I didn’t know you were into prom Carmy,” the statement reminded Carmy of what he had been planning to do in the first place.

One hand raised to run through his slightly grown-out hair, head nodding rapidly in response, “Yeah, Baby seems to be really into it.” Carmy didn’t notice Claire’s smile falter, of course, he was taking you to prom, you were the only girl that existed to him.

Carmy finally faced the girl standing next to him. The least he could do while waiting for you was hold a conversation with her. “Did you want to go?” Carmy watched Claire’s smile brighten, a confused look painting his features. Not realizing that with his overall awkward and shy personality, the girl in front of him thought this was his way of asking her to prom.

“With you?” She questioned the giddiness in her voice, easy to point out. Carmy’s eyes widened this time, this was definitely not his original plan. But he couldn’t just say no and turn her down he would’ve felt bad, plus he did have a huge crush on her, and Mikey and Richie had both told him to stop being such a pussy when it came to girls. So Carmy realized he had his answer.

“Yeah with me, i-if you want to I mean,” Carmy waited with bated breath hoping he hadn’t read the situation wrong. If Claire’s blush and wide smile were any indication he was on the right track. He raised the hand that contained the tickets between the two of them, plucking one out and offering it to Claire.

Their hands brushed as she reached for the ticket, Carmy’s smile matching hers as they fell into polite small talk about their day and their plans for after graduation.

“Don’t sell yourself short, maybe I want going to prom with you to mean something,” the sound of what they both knew to be Hayden’s voice drew their attention. They watched the fading interaction between you and Hayden, Carmy’s attention zeroing in on a laugh he heard over a hundred times.

The squeeze on his bicep removed his attention from you, eyes falling back to the girl he had just asked to prom, albeit accidentally. “They’re so cute! I can’t believe they’re going to prom together,” Claire’s excitement had somehow increased after Hayden’s obnoxious display. “Hey, maybe we can carpool,” It was wrong but Carmy couldn’t get himself to focus on the words leaving Claire’s mouth, too busy watching you watch Hayden.

“Oh hey, my mom’s here. We’ll figure it out later, see ya Carmy.” He sent a noncommittal nod in Claire’s direction, a slight wave sent to her mom who was patiently waiting in the car. Eyes immediately went back to your figure that had finally begun to make its way in his direction, the smile on your face confusing him. You didn’t like Hayden did you?

Carmy watched as you stopped in front of him before your hand reached out to shove his shoulder, “Why didn’t you tell me you were asking Claire to prom?” Carmy wasn’t sure why but your question irked him, the excitement in your voice crawling under his skin. It’s not like he had to run his whole life by you, you obviously didn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were asking Hayden to prom?” The hostility in Carmy’s tone and the frown on his face confused you, “You just asked him to prom so he’ll sleep with you.” Your eyes widened at Carmy’s insinuation that the only reason anyone would go to prom with you was to fulfill their carnal desires.

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his immaturity, “You have an ugly fucking attitude, Carmen.” The shove of your shoulder into his as you stormed off to the car cooled his anger down.

Carmy had no clue what the fuck had been going on with him, with the two of you recently. But he knew he needed to cool it with these mood swings before you decided to leave him behind for good. He only had you for the rest of the summer before your constant presence in his life would disappear. He didn’t want to give you a reason to cease all contact after your move. Carmy followed after you knowing it would be a silent car ride home.

Prom Night | Saturday

The week leading up to prom had been the most awkward week between you and Carmy since the dawn of your friendship. It's not like you were giving him the cold shoulder, but you sure weren’t as nice and friendly as you usually were with him. You only spoke to him out of necessity that week, your friendship with him on rocky ground after the accusation he threw your way.

It had gotten so bad that you had even begun inviting Claire and Hayden to your’s and Carmy’s self-proclaimed lunch table. You had told Carmy it was under the guise of figuring out the plans for prom night, but you just didn’t want to sit alone with Carmy as he acted like everything was fine between the two of you. And Carmy knew two, and if he was brave enough he would’ve admitted that it hurt to see you so upset with him to the point that you were no longer comfortable in just his presence.

He had even broached the topic to Sugar, hoping she would be able to give him advice since she was a teenage girl at one point, and probably understood your thought process better than he did. He regretted the decision immediately when she explained to him that because of the situation, he should be more worried about the way his words hurt you, rather than his feelings of you distancing yourself from him. She had gone on a long tangent about how you had every right to want space from him, the two of you were longtime best friends, and having someone you trust with your whole life deduce you to just your body would make anyone question the friendship. Carmy learned the hard way that Sugar wasn’t going to tell him what he wanted to hear just to make him feel better.

It was a tough week for Carmen Berzatto and it was nobody's fault but his own. Sitting on his bed he stared at the suit he would be donning tonight, the excitement he once held for prom, slowly dwindling with every smile you saved for Hayden that week. Every time you asked for Hayden’s advice before Carmy’s he felt his resolve cracking, for a constant time in his life your friendship with him was the only thing that truly belonged to him.

He wasn’t used to having to share your attention with anyone outside of his and your family. He wasn’t prepared for the smile he thought was reserved just for him, to so easily graced your lips when speaking with Hayden

You and Claire were getting ready together at your house, you had invited the girl to join you after she explained her mom would be out of town for a business meeting. The friendship between the two of you was still rather new, you wouldn’t go as far as to call her your best friend, but she was your first close girlfriend and you thought that counted for something.

Claire was easy to be friends with. She was a sweet girl with a bright personality and the two of you wondered how you had lived on the same street all this time and never became friends before senior year. Claire was easy to be friends with; that is until Carmy decided he liked her. After that day it was no longer just you and Carmy, it was you, Carmy, and Claire. And Claire was never even actually physically there, she was just a topic of conversation that Carmy couldn’t go a day without somehow bringing up.

You didn’t blame Claire though, how could you? And just as naturally you watched as your new friend fell for your oldest one. It hurt in the beginning to realize Carmy would never speak of you the way he spoke of Claire, but as time went on you got over it, the mantra ‘if Carmy’s happy, I’m happy’ slowly getting you through senior year. But it was agonizing when Claire confessed to you she had fallen for your shy doe-eyed shadow.

Luckily for you though the two of them were too shy to ever do anything about it. And maybe you were a shit friend for not telling Carmy that he did have a chance with his dream girl, but you would’ve been an even worse friend for revealing Claire’s secret behind her back. It was a lose-lose situation. So now you were relegated to being the middleman, lending both of your friends an ear to talk about their infatuations with each other.

And that’s exactly what you were doing right now as you listened to Claire drone on about how sweet Carmy was. And how cute he looked when he asked her to prom, and if you thought he would look good in his suit tonight; which yes, you did but Claire didn’t need to know that. You were almost starting to regret inviting her over, but you had to remind yourself it wasn’t her fault that you were too scared to admit your feelings to Carmy, or that you should’ve just asked Carmy to prom yourself with no hesitation.

“Which color?” Claire’s voice broke you from your pity party, the two of you sitting on the floor in front of your mirror, your respective makeup set out in front of you. You looked at the two eyeshadow palettes Claire was pointing at, quickly pointing at the one color palette that would work best with her blue-green eyes.

“I think these colors will make your eyes pop,” the small smile on your lips encouraging Claire to take your advice. “Can I be honest with you?” You were unsure that you wanted to have this conversation with Claire, but you’d always have Carmy’s best interest at heart.

Claire shifted to face you, your serious tone drawing her undivided attention. “Just be careful with Carmy, okay?” Your eyes flickered between hers to make sure she understood the gravity of what you were saying. “Not in a bad way or anything, it's just…he really likes you. And he’s not that experienced in the romance department, so just don’t expect too much of him,” you paused, eyes going down to watch as your fingers picked at the hem of your robe.

“He’s shy, ya know, and he’s a little self-conscious even though he does not need to be because he’s so cool once you get to know him. But if he seems a little clueless or doesn’t pick up on your queues, just don’t hold it against him okay? I know he’s going to try not to mess things up with you Claire.”

Your eyes found Claire’s face again, a small endearing smile on her lips, “You care about him a lot.” You laughed not meaning for it to sound as sarcastic as it came across, you did a lot more than care about Carmy. “I’m glad Carmy has a friend like you in his life,” Claire’s hand patted your knee, the truth in her words causing your heart to sink a little in your chest.

“Enough about me and Carmy, I didn’t know you were into Hayden!” The two of you giggled about the fact you were talking about boys and getting ready for prom, neither of you thought you’d be in this situation right now.

“I’m not. We’re just going as friends,” you said as the two of you began to paint your faces. “Well make sure he knows that.” You put down the lip liner you were examining, eyes flashing to Claire as she shot you a goofy smile.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You watched as Claire rolled her eyes at your obliviousness, you threw a makeup brush at her that she easily swatted away. “I’m just saying” the other girl’s hands raised in defense, “Hayden has like the biggest crush on you, he’s just too nonchalant to say anything.”

“Really?” The surprise in your voice stole a laugh from Claire. “Of course! Look, you didn’t hear this from me but he had plans to ask you to prom. You just beat him to the punch.”

You watched Claire for a minute as she resumed doing her makeup. Your own eyes find your figure in the mirror, a shy smile curving your lips. Maybe your head had been so far up Carmy’s ass you were too blind to see that there was another great guy out there ready to make you happy.

You thought of the advice Tina had given you a few weeks back, you would always care for Carmy. But if he was getting his happy ending tonight, it was only fair that you tried as well. As you and Claire sat there chit-chatting and getting ready, you thought about how different your life would be if you set your feelings for Carmy aside, and tonight was the best time to figure it out.

You and Claire made your way across the street to the Berzatto household where everyone was waiting for the two of you. Your mom and aunt left 30 minutes ago, Donna having invited them over for dinner while you all attended prom. You saw Hayden’s car parked in front of their house and couldn’t help but feel excited at the idea of spending such a fun night with him, you had only ever seen him as a friend but maybe tonight could change things.

You were pretty sure Donna was snooping through the windows excitedly waiting for the two of you to arrive because the moment your foot hit the sidewalk Donna threw the door open with a loud voice surprising the two of you.

“Oh my goodness! Look at you girls, you look beautiful!” Donna exclaimed as she made her way towards the two of you pulling Claire into a hug before throwing her arms around you, careful to mind the bulky Polaroid camera in her hand.

Removing yourself from the hug you peered behind her to see everyone else filing out of the house. Your aunt helped your mom as she talked Nat’s ear off about something you couldn’t hear. Mikey and Richie do their best to interrogate a calm Hayden, and Carmy awkwardly follows behind at the back of the pack, his suit hugging him well.

You were quickly pulled away from your assessment of Carmy as Nat made her way to you with a huge grin on her face. “Baby! Oh my goodness!” Her words became muffled as she pulled you into a hug. “You look so gorgeous, Carmy is such a tool. Well, no offense to Claire.” You let out a small laugh as you parted from Natalie, the two of you joining everyone else so the picture-taking could begin.

Before joining Claire and Carmy you stopped by Mikey and Richie to pick up your date, hoping they hadn’t gone overboard with the ‘intimidating older brother’ act. Squeezing in between the two older men you looped your arm around their torso pulling them into a double-side hug.

“Are tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb giving you a hard time Hayden?” The words leave behind a mock pout on your lips. You gave Hayden a bright smile, easily taking his suited figure in, he had forgone his round dorky glasses. But his signature unruly dark curls were in their usual mess atop of his head, and you would admit you appreciated it.

You watched as the once apprehensive look on his face turned into a bright grin at your words, a pretty blush painting his angular cheeks. “Wow, you look uh-”

“She looks what buddy?” Mikey’s tone left no room for questions, his arms moving to cross against his chest widening his stance to appear more intimidating.

“You look pretty.” You weren’t even given a second to respond as Mikey started in again.

“I look fucking pretty to you? Richie, this boy just call me pretty?” Mikey’s eyes never left Hayden’s even as his question was directed at Richie.

You watched as Richie copied Mikey’s stance, your arms falling from their movements. “Yeah Mikey, I think he fucking did.”

“Richie’s a looker too, you gonna call him pretty?” You watched as Hayden fumbled with his words, eyes searching yours for any help.

“Yeah Curly Sue, I wanna be fucking pretty too.” You weren’t sure how the conversation had gotten so out of control but luckily for you, your mom was there to save the day. Pulling Hayden’s attention to a conversation so he could escape your two personal bodyguards.

“You two stop giving that poor boy a hard time.” Mikey and Richie having no defense against your mom, let him join her as Donna came up to the three of you for a picture.

You resumed your initial position with them, arms finding their way back around their torsos. The two of them leaned down to press a kiss against both of your cheeks, a cheesy smile taking over your features as the three of you posed for Donna’s camera.

“Okay Baby, grab your cute little date and take some photos,” Donna motioned you over to where Nat was finishing up the couple photos of Carmy and Claire, now waiting for you and Hayden.

You maneuvered yourself from Mikey and Richie’s grip standing in front of them, the two of them looking at you with smirks decorating their faces. Although you found their antics to be stupid, you were glad to have people in your life who cared enough about you to try and scare your dates away.

“This kid not weird or some shit is he Baby?” Mikey scowled at you, arms finding their way across his chest. You shook your head, you thought you knew enough about Hayden to vouch for him. “No, he’s just a friend. It was a last-minute decision.” The two men stared at the boy who was waiting for you to take pictures with him, the pretty flower corsage in a box in his hands.

Mikey nodded in his direction signaling for you to go and join him, “You guys stop by The Beef after. Don’t want you and Carmy getting into any stupid shit.” You nodded before making your way to Hayden’s side. His smile caused one to grace your lips as well.

“Everybody wants pictures of us but uh, I need to give you this first.” You smiled as he shyly showed you the corsage, you watched as he removed it from its box. You held out your hand as he carefully slipped it on your wrist, surprised to see how perfectly the colors chosen complimented your skin tone.

You couldn’t help but share a small smile with him when the two of you caught each other’s eyes again. “Thank you, Hayden, it's beautiful.” The click of a camera drew your attention, eyes finding Nat’s as she looked at the image on her digital camera.

“Awe Baby! The two of you are so cute, okay give me a few poses.” Carmy couldn’t help but watch as Sugar gushed over you and Hayden, his mom keeping Claire’s attention as they discussed whatever it was they were so enraptured in.

He watched as the two of you took photos as if you were a couple and not just two friends going to prom. The two of you stood in the standard prom pose looking like the perfect match, Hayden standing behind you with his hands wrapped around your waist, the two of you smiling happily at the camera. The position changed slightly as Hayden rested his chin on your shoulder for one shot, slightly turning his head for the next shot so his lips caressed your cheek. From Carmy’s vantage point, you didn’t seem to mind.

Carmy was pulled into Mikey’s side as his older brother wrapped his arm around his shoulder. The two of them watch you and your date in silence for a moment. “Baby’s growing up isn’t she?” The question was not something Carmy was expecting from Mikey.

“Do me a favor and look out for her Carmy alright?” Carmy nodded, no one ever needed to ask that of him. “Better start treating her right before this becomes your feature.” Mikey looked down at Carmy hoping to drill the words into his younger brother, sending one more squeeze to his shoulder and an encouraging smile his way before leaving to join Richie in conversation with your mom and aunt.

Sugar caught Carmy’s eye, a melancholy smile on her lips, “Carmy come, let me get a picture of you and Baby together!” He looked to his mom and Claire, the two of them giving him nods of encouragement. He gently took the Polaroid camera from his mom's hand knowing you’d like at least one Polaroid of the two of you before heading in your direction.

He approached you and Hayden as the two of you were having a quiet conversation, “So if I potentially called you baby non platonically how would you feel about that?” Carmy wanted to gag and was relieved as he watched you roll your eyes at the cheesy pickup line.

“Eww, actually please don’t,” Carmy stood there in silence watching how chummy the two of you were and feeling awkward for just listening.

“You’re right, my girl has a better ring to it.” Carmy’s eyes widened he had no idea where the fuck this kid's confidence was coming from but it sure was starting to piss him off. He watched your mouth hang open partially at a loss for words apparently just as appalled as Carmy.

The hand reaching up to cup your chin almost sent Carmy into a full spiral, “Close your mouth, can’t have my girl swallowing flies.” Camry was about to blow his shit! Who the fuck did this model-looking motherfucker think he was?

“Hey, pretty boy! None of that slick shit in my yard!” Carmy had never been more thankful for Mikey’s obnoxious personality, watching as you and Hayden laughed together looking thick as thieves.

He quickly took his opportunity to squeeze his way into the space Hayden had once taken up. Carmy could feel the tension as he stood next to you, he quickly handed the Polaroid off to Sugar so she could take the picture before making his way back to your side.

Neither of you spoke a word as you got into position standing in a side hug so the awkward tension between the two of you wouldn’t be as noticeable in the final photo. As you fixed yourself to make sure you were presentable, Carmy found himself enraptured with you carefully sliding his arm around your waist.

The way you had chosen to style your hair was something he wasn’t accustomed to. The new style allows the angelic planes of your face to be showcased, the apples of your cheeks and your cheekbones catching his eye. The pretty sparkly stuff on your eyelids catching the dimming sunlight he was almost tempted to touch it. He liked the earrings you had chosen and the way the pearls sat so prettily around your neck he wanted to trace each one.

The square neckline of your dress showcased your perfectly sculpted collarbones. Carmy was so lost in his study of you he hadn’t thought twice about running his thumb across the one closest to him. The touch tickled you enough that your body was now slightly turned into his. Carmy cleared his throat, “Uh…um there was a bug.” He watched as you nodded along with his lame excuse.

Your hand came up to smooth out his pocket square that sat atop his heart. Carmy caught your eye before you could face the camera head-on, he gave your waist a slight squeeze to give himself a boost of confidence. Carmy watched as you stared up at him questionably the two of you just staring at each other for a moment.

Carmy’s eyes darted over your face, taking in your features before losing himself to the shape of your lips for a moment. “I think you look beautiful tonight Baby.” The words left Carmy’s lips with no sense of apprehension, no shyness. He was sure of himself; sure of his statement.

You had leaned into him a little bit more, your eyes rapidly blinking as your brain realized what he said. Carmy watched as a small shy smile graced your lips, his own soon following as he realized just how important it was to keep that pretty smile in his life.

Unbeknownst to the two of you Sugar had watched the whole moment play out, quickly raising the Polaroid to capture the intimate moment between the two of you. A moment she was hoping would finally lead to more between the two of you.

“Thank you Carmy,” Carmy watched as you leaned in slightly before stopping yourself and quickly readjusting so you were facing Sugar head-on. Carmy wasn’t sure what had changed between the two of you in these last couple of weeks but as Carmy forced himself to look away from you, he found himself thankful for whatever ushered in that change.

Carmen Berzatto knew at that moment, he would want for no one else the way he did you. And he would spend every day for the rest of his life proving that he was enough for you.

You and Hayden were leaning against his car as the two of you watched Carmy walk Claire down the street to her own house. Hayden had volunteered to drive you all to prom, and when your fun was done there happily drove you all to The Beef, excited to try the sandwiches you couldn’t stop raving about.

And now the night had come to an end, the four of you all ending back up at your starting destination. You thought the media embellished high school prom a bit, but you hadn’t regretted your decision to go and were happy to have spent such a memorable night with people whose company you enjoyed.

Hayden’s arm was brushing against yours, his suit jacket almost swallowing you up. You were grateful for the jacket, the night growing colder as time went on. The two of you were calmly standing in each other’s presence, the silence not bothering either of you. Tonight with Hayden was fun, you enjoyed how goofy he was. Always doing what he could to make you smile and laugh, you were scared things might have been awkward due to the romantic undertone of the event.

“I had a really good time tonight Hayden, thank you for being my date.” You couldn’t help the shy smile on your lips, you were sure your cheeks would be sore from smiling the whole night away.

Hayden sent you a bright smile of his own head nodding along, “Me too, I’m glad you decided to ask me.” The two of you stood there for a moment just smiling at each other.

In the movies, this was usually the moment a kiss would happen. But you weren’t sure if you wanted Hayden to kiss you, you enjoyed his company and you thought he was a great guy but you didn’t feel anything romantic for him yet and didn’t want a single kiss to lead him on.

You leaned up slightly, your lips caressing his cheek as a form of thanks. “Maybe…we could hang out some other time?” If you were really going to put your happiness first it would be necessary to put yourself out there.

“I’ve got you till the end of July don’t I?” Your eyes find Hayden’s cheeky smile as his hand raised your chin. You nodded eyes searching his face, wondering what these next two months might hold for the two of you.

His thumb began to rub back and forth on your chin, your breath hitching as you watched him lean down. Mind going blank, panic filling you as you tried to figure out if this was something you wanted. You stood still, nerves racing through your body as you were about to have your first kiss.

You watched as Hayden’s eyes flicked to the side before he reluctantly stepped back, thumb brushing your chin one final time before his hand returned to its side. You followed his line of sight to see Carmy approaching, standing a little distance away to wait for you.

Turning back to Hayden you sent him one last smile, the boy pulled you into a hug engulfing you with a slight kiss pressed to the top of your head before the two of you moved apart. You quickly slipped off his jacket before handing it to him, moving back so he could get in his car. You watched as he sent Carmy a small nod in goodbye before his car disappeared down your street.

Letting out a small sigh you turned to where Carmy was waiting for you a shy smile on his face. You smiled back as you approached him the two of you walking up the sidewalk to his front door, you knew your mom and aunt would still be here at this time.

The two of you entered the house greeting the four women that were sitting in the living room having their small party. Questions were thrown at both of you about your time and making sure your dates made it home safe all the usual questions to be expected after prom. You listened as your mom told you that you would be leaving soon. Knowing that when it came to your mom soon could mean in the next five minutes or the next two hours.

Your eyes found Carmy’s as you let out a small yawn, his eyebrows raising in question before nodding towards his room. You made your way to follow him up the stairs too tired to contribute to the conversation happening in the living room.

Entering Carmy’s room you made your way to the foot of his bed to sit down, quickly removing your heels a sense of relief filling you. Dropping your heels you watched as Carmy stood by his door looking as though his mind was racing. You smiled at him patting the spot next to you, a sort of peace offering.

“How was your night, Carmy?” You watched as he made his way to sit next to you, head falling to rest on his shoulder as you awaited his response.

“It was fun, yeah, Claire was really nice.” You watched as he blushed, you might have felt a little sad any other night but right now you were too exhausted to care.

“Why didn’t you kiss Hayden?” The question hit you like a shot of espresso. You raised your head from Carmy’s shoulder trying to find his eyes as he kept his head focused on his clasped hands. “I don’t know, I don’t think it felt right.” You genuinely had no good explanation for Carmy, you didn’t even have one for yourself.

“Did you kiss Claire?” Your question came off a little more hostile than you had intended. Carmy sat up, eyes finally meeting yours as he shook his head. You felt guilty at the relief that flooded through you.

“No, it didn't feel right.” You let out a small laugh at the recycled explanation, a similar one leaving Carmy’s lips as he didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Gosh we’re such losers,” you giggled, bumping your shoulder with Carmy’s. “I thought for sure you would’ve taken your chance to kiss Claire tonight.” You wiggled your eyebrows in a teasing manner, the ice that had been ruining your friendship this past week seemingly forgotten.

Carmy gulped as he continued to study you. “Maybe she wasn’t the girl I wanted to kiss tonight,” Carmy’s words caused your joking mood to quickly sober up, the smile disappearing from your face completely as you realized just how intently he was staring at you.

“Carmy,” your voice trailed off, not sure what the boy in front of you was getting at. You stood up needing a bit of space to understand the underlying message in Carmy’s words. “Carmy, what are you talking about?”

He followed your movements, the two of you both standing up now, faces inches apart. You couldn’t help but follow Carmy’s tongue as it quickly traced his lips, your own coming out to wet yours. The room was silent as you waited for Carmy to say something, anything. Your heart began to beat faster as the 10 words Carmy spouted in your direction gave you a sense of hope.

Your breath hitched as you watched Carmy’s hand raise, his eyes falling to your neck. You felt his fingers delicately trace the path of borrowed pearls, each touch leaving behind a whisper of something you couldn’t place. You allowed him to continue, too nervous to say anything at that moment.

His hand began to trace its way up the side of your neck, soft touch making your knees weak. He looked to be in a trance lost in the idea of you. A gasp escaped your lips as his hand gripped the side of your neck, fingers gently tugging the hair at the nape of your neck.

Carmy couldn’t explain it, but this, you standing so beautifully in his room right now, lips parted slightly as you waited for him to make the final move felt right. It felt so right it didn’t matter who either of you went to prom with, it didn’t matter that this would be the first kiss for both of you. What mattered was that it was you here with him; you who had always been with him, he would’ve given everything to be deserving of you.

The small nod of your head was the last sign Carmy needed before he surged forward capturing your lips in a harsh kiss. The two of you were so inexperienced your teeth clashed together. The roughness brought the both of you back down to earth, you couldn’t help but laugh at how awkward that first kiss was. You didn’t even think it could even be considered a kiss, more so a smack of lips against each other.

You watched the shy blush rise on Carmy’s cheeks, you could tell he was feeling self-conscious about the whole situation. Your hand raised to gently caress the hand that was still placed on the side of your neck.

Eyes locked you sent him a warm smile leaning in slightly a small whispered “c’mere” breathed between the two of you as you gently pressed your lips into his. Your eyes closed as you felt Carmy relax into the embrace, a sigh leaving his lips as he tugged you closer by the hand wrapped around your neck.

The two of you pulled apart eyes fluttering open as you drank in each other. Neither of you say anything for a moment, the room is filled with the sounds of your soft breathing. You couldn’t believe this was finally happening, all these months of unrequited feelings and secret pining, and here you were kissing Carmen Berzatto in his bedroom.

You watched as Carmy let out a shy laugh, thumb caressing the space behind your ear. Your smile matched his, the two of you watching the other with goofy smiles playing on your lips.

“Can I-,”

“Yes.”

Carmy gave you no chance to finish your sentence before he eagerly agreed and surged back in to kiss you. His lips felt like heaven against your own, you had wondered what this moment would feel like if it ever happened. If Carmy’s lips felt as soft as they looked, what would their natural taste be like?

The kiss continued as Carmy’s tongue poked out to shyly glide across your lips, you smiled into the kiss before parting your own. Easily inviting him in, the two of you languidly moved in sync, no battle to be fought as the two of you enjoyed the caress of each other’s mouths.

You couldn’t help but moan into Carmen’s mouth a hunger you didn’t know you had finally being satisfied. The small tug on your hair caused your mouth to open wider, the kiss becoming sloppy as the two of you gave in to your desires. You felt Carmy’s hand delicately trace your neck, his infatuation constantly leading him back to it.

The bite on your lip caused a harsh gasp to leave your lips, Carmy quickly pulling away at the noise. He looked at you with wide fearful eyes scared that he hurt you, ruining a good moment too soon.

“I - I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to.” Seeing Carmy so worried and vulnerable at the moment sent a thrill of warmth through your body. Your confidence grew as his faded, you took a small step into his space backing him up into the foot of the bed which caused him to resume his sitting position.

You could get used to looking down at Carmy.

You raised the hem of your dress so you could maneuver yourself into his lap, arms going to wrap around his neck. Carmy watched you like a deer in headlights, this new sense of confidence making you feel brave. As Carmy sat there like a statue you gently removed your hands from around his neck to guide his to your waist.

His hands squeezed your hips as you quickly adjusted yourself in his lap, Carmy’s eyes following the hem of your dress as it moved up more exposing your thighs. “Won’t you kiss me again Carmy?” The small whisper bounced off of Carmy’s lips due to your proximity, you watched as he rapidly nodded his head, hands squeezing your hips for dear life. You gave him a small smile before the both of you surged forward eager to be connected again.

As the kiss between you deepened you began unconsciously rolling your hips into Carmy’s the feel of his lips searing into yours making you want more. You listened as a strangled noise left Carmy’s lips before he pulled away again, you quickly stopped your ministrations.

“Is this okay, do you want me to stop?” The question caused Carmy’s head to rest against your rapidly rising and falling chest.

“No-no I-I just need a minute.” You were beginning to feel guilty, maybe you had come on too strong and Carmy was just confused about his feelings. You began moving to get off of his lap not wanting him to be any more uncomfortable than he probably was.

You stopped as a blissful sigh escaped Carmy’s lips, his eyes finally moving to meet yours. You sat there silently as the grip on your hips tightened a sigh parting your lips as Carmy bucked up into you while he guided you back and forth. The direct eye contact somehow increased the sensation between the two of you.

“I-I like it when you move like that.” You nodded along to Carmy’s words, continuing the movements yourself as Carmy’s lips found your neck trailing open-mouth kisses on any bare piece of skin he could. One hand quickly reached up, sliding the thin strap of your dress down, so he could finally appreciate your collarbones in the way they deserved.

In all honesty, neither of you had any clue what the hell you were doing, but whatever it was, it was working. No matter how messy the touches were, or how sloppily you were kissing each other every movement felt right.

Carmy was lavishing your chest and neck in any way that he could, kisses trailing over each collarbone. An impromptu bite in the space where your neck and shoulder met caused your breath to hitch. Your hips created a rhythm against his as the two of you lost yourself to the bliss.

A loud knock at the door interrupted the two of you. Carmy quickly removed his lips from your neck, doing his best to shield your body in case someone walked in. Neither of you knew how long it had been, too caught up in losing yourself to each other, too caught up to realize how far things had almost gone.

The knock sounded again as your aunt said your name, “We’re heading out, meet us downstairs.” Footsteps leading away from the door calmed the nerves both you and Carmy had been feeling, eyes peeling away from the door to match with each other.

No one said a word as the two of you stared at each other, you taking in Carmy’s flushed appearance. As he admired your disheveled figure above him, the confidence quickly left your body as you shuffled to get off of his lap.

The hand on your hip stopped you as you eyed him curiously, he slowly reached up to fix the straps that he had slid off of your shoulders, the slow shy touches caused your head to spin. He helped you stand up before adjusting the hem of your dress. You quickly glanced away as he tried to subtly adjust himself.

The shout of your name from downstairs forced you to rush to his bathroom mirror to fix any obvious differences in your appearance. By the time you came back, Carmy was holding one of his knit crew necks out for you to slip on.

His hand reached up to scratch the back of his neck, “Uhh, it's cold outside.” You smiled gratefully before slipping the crew neck on, quickly scooping up your heels as you made your way to the door. You turned around facing Carmy one last time with a wide smile on your face, you leaned in prepared to end the night with a sweet kiss.

Carmy leaned in pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead, the two of you scoring the intimate moment. Carmy couldn’t help but smile as he watched you leave wearing his knit crew neck, part of him hoping it smelled of your scent upon its return.

Carmy hadn’t expected the night to take the turn it did, but he was thanking his lucky stars that you went along, no questions asked. Neither of you knew what this meant for the future of your friendship, or if this would blossom into something more. But the two of you were both lost in the bliss of your actions to think too long on it for the rest of the night.

Sunday Evening

You hadn’t seen much of Carmy over the rest of the weekend, instead spending the free time with your mom and aunt. You also weren’t quite sure how to approach him, and the fact that he hadn’t approached you either signified you were both at a standstill, neither of you sure how to broach the topic.

It was Sunday evening and you were on your way to The Beef picking up an extra shift after Mikey called to ask if you could come in. Richie had to leave early for whatever the hell he did in his spare time.

As you parked in the back lot, you were surprised to see Carmy sneaking through the back door. Your heart began to thud a little faster, it was stupid, but you hadn’t thought you’d be seeing him so soon. You sat there for a moment calming your nerves, you were sure the conversation wouldn’t be brought up while you were working, but maybe Carmy came here looking for you specifically.

You got out of your car, locking it behind you before entering the establishment. Quickly punching your time card before grabbing one of the spare aprons and heading to check in with Mikey.

The dinner rush would be starting soon and since Richie was gone you’d have to balance working the cashier and running food to the diners. You walked around, head popping into the office to let Mikey know you were there.

The two of you crashed into each other as he was making his way to the kitchen, arms shooting out to steady you so you didn’t fall.

“Thanks for coming Baby, but uh if you wanna go home I won’t stop you.” You watched Mikey awkwardly scratch the back of his head, eyes darting around the kitchen as he watched the controlled chaos ensue. Surprise etching your features, not used to Mikey being the awkward Berzatto in your life.

“No, I don’t mind kind of needed to get out of the house anyways,” you smiled at home before heading to the front to take care of the line that was beginning to form.

Most of the orders were for takeout so you hadn’t been rushing back and forth too much. But the Johnsons, an old couple who ate dinner here every Sunday, was your first dine-in order, the two greeting you before heading back to their favorite table.

You turned to the window waiting for the order you had already given, watching as Tina made her way to you apprehensively.

“I can run this for you Mama if you want me to.” You shook your head sending her a smile before taking the two red baskets from her hand and making your way to the dining area, eyes instantly spotting the older couple.

“Two famous Italian beef sandwiches for my favorite regulars,” you smiled down at the couple setting a tray in front of each one respectively.

“Say, honey, isn’t that your little friend over there?” You watched as the woman subtly pointed at another table, you and her partner both taking in the scene in front of you.

You felt a wide smile spreading over your face as you took in Carmy’s figure, the shyness exuding off of him. His lips brandishing a small smile, it took the laughter of his table mate to slap the rose-colored glasses off your face.

So caught up in your infatuation with the boy you’d been crushing on and finally got to kiss the other night, you hardly noticed Claire.

The two women sitting at the table in front of you sharing a knowing look, guilt seeping through as they alerted you to something you’d rather be ignorant to.

“I’m so sorry honey, I didn’t mean to upset you. Mabel been telling me I oughta learn when to shut my big mouth. If I ain’t listen 20 years ago I sure wasn’t gone figure it out by now.” You let out a sad pathetic laugh at Ms. Sadie’s explanation doing your best to compartmentalize your feelings.

“Shame though Baby, that boys missing out on something good. You looked at that boy like he parted the heavens and earth. My Mabel used to look at me like that, you know, the only thing she looks at like that now is cake and these damn beef sandwiches.” Ms. Sadie’s laugh unconsciously draws one of your own, finally taking your attention from Carmy and Claire.

“Oh hush up now Sadie and let the girl get back to work,” another watery laugh escaped your lips. “Talking this sweet girl's ear off like she wants to listen to you on top of watching the boy she loves on a date.”

Your head shot to Ms. Mabel’s slightly taken aback by her word choice, she settled you with a look. “Don’t go giving me that look now. You may be foolin' that boy and yourself but you ain’t foolin' anyone with eyes baby.” You let her reach out to gently pat your hand, the two women in front of you made it hard to keep your calm facade up.

“You gone on and head home Baby, and if Michael has a problem with it you let him know Ms. Mabel and Ms. Sadie said it was okay.” You let out a real laugh, the sound caught the one boy’s attention you didn’t care for right now.

“And tell your momma to stop by if she’s ever feeling up for it,” you sent the couple a small smile nodding your head. “Yes ma’am, you two enjoy the rest of your night.” With that, you began your journey out of the dining room.

You stopped as you heard Claire call out your name, turning inside the doorway as she sent you a wave, returning a small one as you purposefully avoided giving Carmy any attention.

You made your way into the kitchen no one needed to ask what was wrong as they took in your somber mood. You silently slid into the walk-in, maybe it was unsanitary but you didn’t think you could face anyone as you finally let the first sob wrack your body.

The fact that you knew this incident wouldn’t change your friendship with him irritated you to no end. But you cared for him so much that you just couldn’t force yourself to quit him. Maybe this move was what you needed, the time spent apart would allow you to discover who you were outside of Carmen Berzatto. You would do your best to allow the friendship between the two of you to keep flourishing, but whatever Carmy decided was best for him, you’d just have to live with it.

You hadn’t realized how long you were standing in the walk-in until Mikey entered. Body engulfing yours in a hug as his warmth radiated through you. The older Berzatto allowed you to stain his shirt in tears, neither of you saying a word as the sound of your sorrow painted the walk-in.

The youngest Berzatto’s hand stilled on the door handle as he listened to your faint cries. His own heart broke as he realized that he hurt you again. Head hitting against the exterior of the door, he didn’t deserve you, didn’t know if he ever would. Carmy forced himself to listen to your faint sobs wanting to console you at this moment but not knowing where the two of you stood.

Two friends stood on opposite sides of a steel door, hearts breaking in unison as it felt like everything was fighting against what they both wanted. July would come and they would part ways, promises whispered to stay in contact and remain friends, neither soul knowing what the years apart would have in store for them.

a/n: i apologize if anything in this chapter doesn't make sense or is wonky, i've been editing for 3 days straight and i feel like i can't read english anymore. hope you enjoyed! i also have a whole playlist if anyone is interested!

taglist: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluuvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @jointherebellion215 @jackierose902109 @blkbxrbie-esther @ajordan2020 @head-slut-in-charge @magnet-girl @thebookwormlife @sevikasblackgf @writers-hes @senassn

unable to tag: @khena @kailyn-g05 @ovaqma @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @gcidrvsh @awatt31 @cauliflowerpatch

#i continue to fall deeper in love with this story #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you

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alfredolover119 · 4 years ago

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I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story.

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that.

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee

-18k, teen, major character death

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN.

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham.

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

#zukka #zuko #sokka #angst #zukka angst #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 3 years ago

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the silent killer…. “what's driving you to kill? literally no one will ever truly know because you are so shy and dont say shit the entire movie. jesus christ dude, open up a little.”

put on fucking blast man youch

YOUCHSHXJWJ

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heli0s-writes · 5 years ago

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VIII. Never is a Promise*

Summary: The last installment. A sweet ending for two dummies. NSFW Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader A/N: I have loved writing this! Thank you for all your support

Slow Like Honey Masterpost

Your relationship becomes a complicated affair. There are various intricacies to navigate now that school is back in session and Sarah has returned. Your schedule is identical to his daughter’s, so there isn’t a lot of time either of you have to spend alone.

It’s good, at first, because you are still wary of jumping in too quickly. But then by the end of the first week, you can’t help but crave the physical intimacy a relationship provides, especially now that you have it once more.

In the afternoons that Steve comes to pick Sarah up, he looks at you with a smile at your cone before he pulls away. You keep him at arm’s length to separate your personal and professional life, and to not confuse Sarah. As far as she knows, you and Steve are friends; you don’t spend the night, and he doesn’t kiss you goodbye.

If she were ever to come to school and announce that you stayed the night in her father’s room, you’d probably fire yourself.

So, your weeknights are spent at your apartment, texting, calling briefly, pining for each other even though he’s only a 15-minute car ride away.

Weekends are spent at the park or movies, trips to the children’s museum, and then making dinner together. He brushes up against your elbow while you wash vegetables, noses your shoulder when Sarah turns around. Once, when you were both sure Sarah had fallen asleep, you sneaked over to him on the couch, but then she called out from her room and you scrambled off. You haven’t been brave enough to let him try again.

At the end of the second week, you’re wound so tightly, you feel like you could spring loose any second.

Friday comes to an end and you are organizing the mess your classroom has become during the week and pulling out the necessary items for the next one. There are handfuls of manipulatives to be sorted, folders to be organized, crayons to pick up, and inexplicable smudges found in all sorts of places. Damn it, how do they do this?

A knock on your door draws your attention away from the frustrating state of your desk. Looking up, you see Steve leaning against the doorframe, fingers on the handle as he peeks in coyly.

“Hey, you,” he calls, and your heart swells in your chest at the sight of him before it speeds up, panicked.

“What are you doing here?” You ask quickly, motioning for him to come in and shut the door. “You shouldn’t be here! Where’s Sarah?”

“She’s spending the night at a friend’s house… I wanted to surprise you.” He closes the door with a quiet click just in time as the teacher down the hall shoots you a goodbye, voice echoing. “Wanna go to dinner?”

Wordlessly, he begins to clear the clutter from your desk, placing them neatly on the shelves before he returns to stand with his hip against the frame. Suddenly, the urgency of cleaning slithers away. Stacking your papers and zipping up your bag, you laugh, “Is that your way of asking me on a date?”

He takes the bag from you and slings it over his shoulder. On you, it looks comically large. On him, quite the opposite; he looks like Billy Madison going back to first grade. “Depends… is that your way of saying yes?”

Dinner is casual at a greasy little diner you have been craving for. It’s a mom-n-pop kind of place, old booths and ripped cushions, unassuming hole-in-the-wall near the edge of downtown where every menu item is a hit. The burger is so stuffed it slides right out of your hands and you have to hold it upside down for a good bite—a trick you learned from a student. Steve crunches on golden tater tots and you suck on mouthfuls of thick strawberry milkshake.

“So— youch! Good! Cold! Uuuuugh…” You mumble when the brain-freeze catches you. “Wanna little?”

He laughs and leans over the table, kissing the sweet cream from your lips and leaving behind a warm impression of his mouth. It tingles all over your tongue and rushes to every inch of your face. “Yum. Very good, baby.” Steve says with a smirk as he rubs his thumb over his bottom lip.

You roll your eyes, “Alright, Steve,” You can play this game, “I feel like you’re sending me lots of hints. Should we knock out a quickie in the men’s room?” Your resolve is weak, and you burst out into laughter at the thought of two adults going at it in a dingy old tiled restroom.

His eyebrows raise in surprise, but he stops to squint at you, “Don’t tease me, I’ll do it; I’ll do you.”

Jesus Christ in heaven, your stomach is either aching from laughing too much, eating too much, or because Steve is staring at you like he could devour you whole—and because he just said he would do you—like he might be eighteen and head over heels in love.

“Can we—”

Like a repeat of the first night you spent at his house, you’re already packed up with your purse over your shoulder, and way ahead of him. You’re out the door and halfway into your car before Steve catches up.

“This time,” You breathe, “You’re staying the night with me.”

Suffice to say you’ve been daydreaming about this moment almost every day for the past seemingly endless few weeks. Steve seems to be more desperate, even calling you on the short drive back just to tell you how excited he is, how he’s been so good, waiting to be with you again.

You make him hang up because it’s still twenty minutes away and you joke that you can’t spend another second listening to dirty talk.

“I’m excited, too.” You admit, and the groan he sends on the other line is enough to make your thighs clench.

He’s almost bouncing by the time you reach your door, chewing on his lip and staring at you intently. You warn him that you have neighbors and he needs to calm down, but it falls on deaf ears as he only smiles wider.

And then, his hands are scooping you up, his foot kicking the door closed, and he drops you on the couch without another word, palming your arms and waist and falling to his knees. His beard rubs against your calf as he finds his way up your legs, hand sliding beneath your skirt to squeeze the inside of your thighs.

“Steve,” you stutter, “Let me wash up and get out of my work clothes, at least.”

“Uh-uh. Can’t wait.” Your skirt is rucked up, bunching around your hips while he unbuckles his belt, the faint clink of its metal registering in your ears. “Gotta get this off you.” His undressing is left unattended as he fumbles to yank your zipper down.

He doesn’t know what he wants to do first; it’s only three minutes in but he wants all of it—of you— right now. His head is empty, foggy, yet so full of possibilities.

Steve latches his mouth to yours, slips his tongue in, slides off your skirt and blouse, breaking away for just a second to pull it off your head. “Bed.” He commands, and then picks you up again while you giggle in his arms.

The bedroom is glowing with Christmas lights, something he has always found a little endearing and so perfectly you. Tonight, their colors shimmer and warm your skin, turns you rosy and ethereal in the darkness, a flower unfurling under his heated gaze. He tugs the collar of his shirt over his head and glides right out from under it before kicking off his pants.

And then he’s crawling over to you, hot and needy, and moaning when your bodies meet. Through the thin layer of underclothes, you feel him. His eyes shine purple under the decorations, rolling back as he shifts and grinds into your center.

“Jesus...” Steve hisses, “Fuck me. You feel so good.”

There’s nothing you can say either way, the mass of him overtakes every thought or comment. His big hands roam every inch of your body, his thigh spreads your legs apart, quickly being replaced with rubbing and eager fingers. You let him work, leaning into his touch. He leaves kisses down your sternum, yanking off the bralette before returning to each breast, flicking his tongue over your nipple. Left and right, he moves back and forth as if he’s trying to be attentive to both at the same time.

He is everywhere, but he wants more. He pleads with obscene phrases, whines with intimate oaths, mouthfuls of expressions that nearly shock you. Steve Rogers, your returned lover, known to be so often pleasant, talks so filthy and fierce you might catch fire.

You shimmy out of your underwear, letting him have it.

“I’m gonna turn you inside out, baby.” He vows, slipping his fingers inside, pushing in knuckle deep, arm flexed straight and against you. It becomes the fixture that keeps you on earth even though it feels like you could float right up to the heavens. Weeks have passed without feeling each other, and now that you have the chance, your body demands him.

You want to touch him, too.

Rolling him over with a bit of a struggle because Steve is stubborn like that, you press yourself flat against his chest, wiggle your hips over his, let him slide between your thighs. With one hand over your back, you grip him from behind and rub him until he’s slick.

This is as much foreplay as either of you will get— you’re desperate and impatient for him.

“Oh fuck...” He groans, “Fuck.”

“Turn me inside out, Rogers?”

“Can’t say I have any complaints, hon-- ” The husky chuckle is cut off when you push him in, tilting your hips until he bottoms out, completely encased. His skin breaks out into goosebumps as he arches up, groaning, heavy lidded and watching you. “God, baby. You look so good.”

You had forgotten how he feels, buried like this, like he could live inside of you— stiff and big and perfect. The blood coursing through your veins burns torrid and sears into every bit, pooling slippery and wet until it’s drenching. You rock on top of him, gripping his chest and arm, back and forth and panting for breath. Steve kisses your palms and wrists, placing one hand on the small of your back and sitting up until you’re flush with your ankles crossed around his waist.

The position harkens back to your first time, months ago, the two of you blind with affection and want for each other as you fumbled around in his bed.

He is flushed under the lights, still holding tightly to your side, sliding you back and forth, hitting so deeply it almost hurts. Steve’s hands run the length of your thighs before palming your ass to pull you closer, bucking.

“Come on.” He grunts, “Little more, honey. So fucking good.” He latches onto your neck, licks at the sensitive skin beneath your ear and makes you tremble all over. “That’s my girl.” He repeats it again when you clamp down harder. “Do you like that? Being my girl?”

“God…” you mutter, a little embarrassed because apparently that’s what does it for you. It’s something about the way he says it and the way he holds onto you like a lifeline with his strong arms.

It’s the way it is after two weeks aching for him, knowing he is yours to have, but not having him. It’s the breaking of your will, crushed and shattered with every plunge and withdraw.

“My girl,” a smile presses into your cheek, “So good. So fucking tight for me.” You could weep with the coil in your belly twisting tightly on the edge of snapping.

“I’m—Steve— gonna— come,” you moan, nails digging into his back. The two of you melting together, clawing, mouths open, tongues touching. It’s messy, sticky, and sweaty, but the way he burns is sweet.

“Look at me,” Steve urges your fluttering eyes, peppering kisses to your jaw as he soaks in the way your lips part dreamily. “I love you so much. Come for me, baby.”

You’re done for, crying out in the warm heat of the room, seizing him by his shoulders and then down his back and pressing crescent shaped indents in his skin. He watches you shake and whimper, licking his teeth as pleasure stirs him harder. Your wrap him in pulses, make it tougher for him to wedge his way out and in, and he loves it, feeling the new sensation all the way up to his eyes.

With a grunt and a string of expletives that might have surprised you before tonight, Steve wrenches himself out, pumps himself three, four, times and spills creamy with a gasp over your stomach and hip. “Fuck.” He hisses, “God damn.”

Everything is blushing rose, damp with the scent of your exertion and him, wet and salty on your body. The lights look like flowers dappling alien luminance, casting shadows over his open mouth. Steve kisses you, slow and silent, again and again, one hand on your spine and the other on your thigh to keep you close.

“I love you.” He breathes against your lips, “I love you. And I’m gonna keep lovin’ you, baby. Until you want me to stop, and even then, I’ll still love you.”

Your nose stings with a rush of emotion, eyes squeezing shut when your voice seeps out as a whimper, cheek pressed to his shoulder.

“Don’t break my heart, Rogers.” You plead.

With a shake of his head, Steve kisses you once more, “Never again. I promise.”

His love returns in constantly cresting waves, drowning you every second with adoration and devotion and you can’t fathom how Peggy did it—how she loved something else more than him. It’s been weeks and weeks and he has shown you nothing but his goodness.

No, he’s not perfect. He’s a mess, as he’s admitted, he’s irritable and peevish at times, he dives headfirst into everything and gets himself worked up before burning out.

But in the end, he comes back and apologizes. He’s always the first to admit his mistakes and always eager to talk it through, change, make it better, make it good again.

You watch him flourish with his new and unwinding schedule as he finds more time to pursue his hobbies- painting, ceramics, experimenting with newer recipes and introducing them on the days he comes in. Every chance you get, you thank Sam for accepting the position. Sam thanks you back for keeping Steve out of the café.

He volunteers more at the school, too. He goes with Sarah on her field trips, takes her with him, teaches her to paint and bake and it shows when shines at school, comes out of her moods, glows again.

Her teacher pulls you aside one day. “Thank you.” She says quietly during the end of your planning period while her students work diligently. “She’s the sweetest little thing, and… thank you.” You smile instead of answer, because you don’t feel like you did anything. But then, Christine’s mouth pulls itself tight, the corner lifting. “They’re lucky to have you.”

Slow dread sets in as you rummage around your brain, unsure of how much she knows, or how much anyone else knows. But then she looks back through the window of her class and she says goodbye with a wink. Your heart is pounding when you return to your line of kids, waiting patiently.

You run the information in your head again, paranoid the rest of the day any time a co-worker glances your way. Christine probably knows. Heather probably—definitely-- knows. She doesn’t mention it ever, because she understands your reasons, but does she mention it to other people?

Will it ultimately spread like a virus until everyone becomes infected with the knowledge that you are dating Steve Rogers?

It completely fucks with your head, rips you out of your element, and at the end of the day you’ve completely enclosed yourself in the terror that when people look at you, they see someone disreputable. You’ve even forgotten completely that it’s your birthday and Steve has asked you to come by for dinner and cake.

By the time you leave your classroom, the entire school seems to be empty. The hallways echo with your somber footsteps and you nearly jump out of your skin when your phone rings.

“Honey?” Steve asks with concern, “Where are you? It’s almost seven.”

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry… I just—I’m so--something funny kind of happened and I’m freaking out.”

“Take a breath, okay? Drive safe and let me know when you’re here. Sarah’s worried bout ya.”

“Yeah. Sorry! Tell her I’m on my way.”

The windows are dark when you arrive, and you’re confused as to why. The house across the street is packed with cars lined up like sardines and you struggled to find a decent spot, resulting in the stressful task of parallel parking between a grey sedan and a minivan. Stupid neighborhood parties on a stupid Thursday.

“Steve?” You call from the door when you find that it’s unlocked, wandering down the hall to find the switch. “Have you turned crotchety again? The electricity bill is not that high!”

A flash of light blinds you briefly as a chorus of “Surprise! Happy Birthday!” explodes from the living room. You scream and jump backwards, dropping your purse with a clatter.

Sarah runs up and hurdles into your arms. This time, you catch her, but her bottom slips from your grasp and she continues to slide down the length of your body until she’s planted once more. “Happy Birthday!” She yells, “Did I scare you!?”

“Yes!” You cry, staring out into the sea of your co-workers’ eyes, expectant and joyful. “What- what is everyone doing here?” For a fleeting and terrible moment, you can’t help but think god damn it everyone knows!

Your heart clobbers your ribcage as your eyes roam the room, in awe and a bit of anxiety. Crinkled streamers hang from each corner to the middle of the ceiling fan- pastel pink and ginger orange and buttery yellow, like an array of sherbet. Around the perimeter are filled up silver birthday balloons with helium and tied delicate ribbons to each.

You don’t know what to say or do as your tongue sits uselessly inside the cavern of your dry mouth.

But then, a balmy glow from around the kitchen corner arrives and your racing heart leaps at the sight of Steve carrying the cake. Sarah bobs back and forth, clapping her hands together in anticipation.

“Happy Birthday.” He smiles behind a curtain of candles and then the room breaks out into a convivial song—twenty voices vocalizing in unison. When they stop and end the tune with scattered applause, you catch Heather wiping her eyes and Christine clapping her hand over her heart.

The rest of the first-grade team is there, too, grinning with damp cheeks. The receptionist at the front desk who you worked with your first year. Ms. Sweetwater, Edward’s mom, other parents from last year and one from this year.

Jesus, even the principal—Evelyn Graham-- stands, sniffling behind the sofa chair.

Sam and Marnie, crooked smiles plastered on sweetly.

“Make a wish.” Your mind draws a blank as you stare into his face. “Candles are melting on the ganache, sweetheart. I worked real hard for that glaze.”

A sob breaks its way free from your throat, “You’re such a dummy.” You whisper to his widening grin, Sarah giggling at her father’s expense. With his chin, he urges you on, tears rolling down your face like melted candlewax. Then, slowly, because the chocolate varnish is starting to look like it might completely crust over with opaque grey speckles, you take a breath and extinguish the flames.

Cheers and whoops fill your ears and you bury your face in your palms. Steve holds the cake closer to his chest, tilts his face down to meet the top of your head, but sneaks a kiss to your cheek instead. “I’ll be right back.”

Heather touches your elbow when Steve dips away into the kitchen. With one hand on her hip, she raises her eyebrow, “Didn’t I tell ya?” She asks with a wink, making you roll your eyes dramatically. “Honey, that man is struck by you. And it is plain as day to see.”

“Guess it must be if everyone is here.” You gesture to the mingling crowd, all smiles when they glance your way.

“The boy’s hard to miss!” Sam calls.

Evelyn approaches you with a friendly shrug, “He certainly doesn’t smile at me like that during carline.” She teases and your face turns the exact color as the raspberries that Steve brings out on top of the cake.

“Alright, who’s ready?” He asks, oblivious to the conversation surrounding him.

Thick, fluffy slices are served on cute little ceramic plates from the café and everyone collectively seems to sigh when they take the first bite. Sam sticks close to you, letting you know that the party has been in the works for the past week. Steve petitioned Heather first about the surprise and she was happy to be on-board, passing the news around your workplace covertly.

It astonishes you the way everyone is so supportive. Edward’s mom gives you a new pair of homemade earrings in the shape of croissants and you put them on straight away. Steve claps his hands together and vows that next week, Cap&Co is going to have a croissant special. It makes the whole room laugh. You’re still bashful and nervous, wringing your hands together and chewing on a soft raspberry quietly while Sarah sits on Steve’s hip, face smeared with chocolate.

People begin to leave around nine, waving goodbye and giving you hugs. Heather squeezes you by the door and pats your shoulder, “You deserve this, girl.”

Evelyn is right there behind her, “You’re a wonderful teacher. And a wonderful person. We’re all so glad to see you happy. We’ve known all along. It’s…” she laughs, “It’s been very obvious to us.”

A part of you feels like she’s not talking entirely about your relationship—more about your ability and potential. You swell with pride and a little with embarrassment because it seems like you’ve missed the glaring truth all this time: you are cared for here. You have more than just your job and yourself—you have a whole damn community who isn’t looking to gossip and undermine.

They see you.

And Steve has brought it all to light.

Gazing back down the walkway into the dining room where he stands next to Sam, giving tips and pointers about the ganache, you shake your head with a smile. Evelyn slips out the door quietly and leaves you to your thoughts.

You’re not even aware of Sarah as she slides over to tug on your blouse playfully.

“Does this mean you can spend the night now?” She asks.

“Huh?”

“Ya know… cause you’re daddy’s girlfriend?” A cluster of giggles escapes her and she blushes head to toe as if the very word itself is something taboo.

You blush too, but shove it away as you roughly grab her by the middle and sling her onto your hip, “You know what, Sarah!” You act indignant, “Little miss smarty mouth!”

She’s screeching and thrashing in your arms, hollering laughter down the path as you stomp back to the living room and deposit her onto the couch. Sam and Steve quirk their heads over when you descend to tickle her. “You’re gonna get it!” You threaten, and she replies only with “Girlfriend! Girlfriend! You and daddy sitting in a tree! K-I-S—”

You shriek and smother her with a cushion. This child will be the death of you, you swear it.

“Are you killin’ my kid?” Steve asks from the dining room.

“No.” You say calmly, “Just, a friendly game of put-the-pillow-on-Sarah’s-face.”

She resurfaces to continue the song and you smother yourself with the pillow this time.

Moonlight shimmers in from the open window. Sarah has been tucked in, the house is quiet and still, warmth lingering from the laughter that radiated only hours ago. The Little Mermaid was attempted again, but Sarah couldn’t keep her eyes open past the first song.

You and Steve saved it once more for another night and made way to bed where he shows you a card Bucky and Natasha sent in the mail. He had forgotten all about it in the bustle of the celebration.

The front is decorated cutely— fat honeybees float on daisies, speech bubbles conglomerating to read HapBEE Birthday!

On the inside, in surprisingly delicate penmanship, it reads:

Happy Birthday from two people you have only met once….

Hope he’s doing good by you and making it special. We’re excited to meet you and thank you for making that stupid boy so happy. If he ever gives you any more trouble, just let me know— he’s always been slow on the draw. And Natasha will kick his ass no sweat.

-Bucky and Nat

Steve watches you read the card under the lamplight, laughing before tucking it away on the end table. “They’re great.” You say softly, licking your lips with a minty tongue and scooting back down under the comforter. “I’d love to see Natasha kick your ass.”

He laughs too, because it’s the truth. You yawn and lean over to tug the light off, smiling when he grunts from the shifting of your weight on top of his torso. His eyes take a second to readjust, but he follows your blue shadow back over to your side of his bed. Your side. It makes him pinch his lips together with joy.

He doesn’t know how someone can light up a room like you, just sitting there in his t-shirt, doing nothing but smile. “Honey,” he says quietly, like he doesn’t want to disturb the moment but can’t help himself. He just wants to see you looking at him.

“Yeah?” You turn your head ever so slightly, peek up under flared lashes— sleepy eyes struggling to stay awake— still sparkling. “What is it?”

“Honey, I love you.” Is all he can manage. Everything else seems to fade away.

And then you smile, a slow curling of your soft lips, cupid’s bow catching a moonbeam. You smile so sweetly his heart stops in his chest. The world comes rushing back with your tired sigh and your small hand linking itself with his. One beat, two beats, steadily, heavily, his blood pulses again when you kiss his cheek and murmur,

“I love you, too.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #fanfiction #marvel #mcu #modern au #reader insert #slow like honey heli0s

2K notes · View notes

jungshookz · 5 years ago

Note

okay so hear me out... uni Yoongi teaching y/n how to skateboard and then she hurts herself and then kansnsnsnsn make out session after plasters are done which will be in yoongi’s bag because he always get scuffed knees

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: university!au, uni!yoongi, fluFF!!!!!!, fluffy nsfw? is that a genre??, they just make out at the end and a little more idK

→ wordcount: 2.6k

→ what to expect: yoongi has peppa pig bandaids and y/n really, really wants to impress yoongi.

→ note: i hear you loud and cLear!! in case it isn’t already blatantly obvious i am 110% in love with uni!yoongi and now that it’s been established that he’s a skater boy i’m 150% in love with him

(gif isn’t mine!)

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

you know

when yoongi suggested a study break this was the absolute laSt thing you thought you guys would be doing because-

“this is a disaster just waiting to happen.” you huff and watch as yoongi wheels around you in circles

he laughs lightly and hops off his board

“trust me, this’ll be fun!” yoongi steps on the nose of his board and it flips upwards so that he can grab onto it

and u know what

that should noT have been as attractive as it was

you clear your throat and smooth down your skirt before flipping some hair off your shoulder “i’m not wearing appropriate skateboarding clothes.”

“there’s no such thing as inappropriate skating clothes, so i think you’re fine.” yoongi snorts and drops his skateboard before gently nudging it so that it rolls over to you slowly

it stops right at your feet and your face twists slightly

you don’t want to skateboard!!!!

why would anybody want to skateboard!!!!

why would you willingly step on something that’ll most definitely make you lose your balance and eat shiT

it’s like ice skating

you don’t like ice skating because your only form of support are two little sharp blades

which is a big noPE

you let out a sigh before looking over at yoongi “what if i fall?”

“it’s not like i’m asking you to do an ollie, y/n. just get on the board and i’ll wheel you forward slowly so that you can get a taste of it. relax!”

your brows furrow in confusion “…who’s ollie?”

yoongi snorts

he makes his way over to you and nudges the skateboard closer to you agaIN “come on, get up onto the board.”

“how did i let you rope me into doing this again?” you wipe your hands on the back of your cardigan before putting one foot on the skateboard

almost imMEdiately you feel unstable and you only have one foot on the damn thing

you’re only doing this because due to unfortunate circumstances you still have a big ol crush on yoongi and it’s gotten to the point where you’d do practically anYthing to try and impress him

“here, hold on to me-“ yoongi grabs onto your hands and places them on his shoulders before he reaches down to hold onto your waist “-you’re doing this because i said so. it’s as simple as that!”

“that’s not a very good reason.” you’re trying veRy hard to keep it together but that’s proving to be a challenge because yoongi has his hands on your waist and it feels like he’s buRning damn holes through your sides

of course you don’t have timE to be focusing on yoongi and his cute face because you’re already wobbling on the board and you haven’t even moved yet

“the proper procedure would suggest that i be wearing a helmet and some safety pads for my knees and elbows.” your grip tightens on yoongi’s shoulders when he starts rolling you forward gently

oh jesus this is teRRIFYING

“helmets are for loooosers” yoongi sing-songs as he continues walking along with you as you guys move up the street at what seems to be slower than a snail’s pace

he shoves one of his hands into his pockets and keeps his other one on your waist because there really isn’t a need for him to be gripping onto you with two hands (also it’s easier to walk this way because now he’s not awkwardly side-stepping down the street)

you scoff and shake your head

“safety isn’t for losers woAH-“ the skateboard rolls over a crack on the pavement causing you to bounce a little and you instinctively lean over and wrap your arms around yoongi

at the sudden movement yoongi’s arm automatically loops around your waist just in case you dO stumble

“you’re alright,” yoongi chuckles lightly and gives the small of your back a reassuring pat

it’s taking everything within yoongi to hide the big fat fond smile growing on his face because you are just the absolute cutest and he knEW it was a good idea to suggest skateboarding as a study break >:-)

your face is practically shoved into the crook of his neck and at that realisation you immediately pull away

you straighten yourself out a little bit even though your knees are all wobbLy

“…i know.” you clear your throat before tugging your cardigan down a little bit “i think... i can handle it on my own now.”

yoongi raises a brow in question

“are you sure? because you barely made it just standing on the board while i pushed you.”

you purse your lips in thought

the man has a good point

nonetheless

you had time to sneakily watch (1) skateboarding for beginners video earlier when yoongi was warming up his board so you’re pretty sure you have this thing in the baG

all you have to do is like,,.,. keep one foot on the board and push off with the other and bOOm you’re skateboarding!

it’s child’s play if you really think about it

“i’ll be fine!” you chirp and yoongi nods before pulling away from you and raising his hands in defence

“alright, smarty pants. whatever you say!” he sighs and crosses his arms

you turn so that you’re facing the front and you place one foot on the ground while keeping your other foot planted firmly on the board

alright

you’ll be fine

just copy the girl in the youtube video and you’ll be fine

of course she had a helmet and elbow pads and knee pads on

and also she was literally like eight years old

but that’s not the point

you let out a breath as you push off the ground firmly and-

OH!!!

oh my gOd

we have liftoff!!!!!

you’re doing it!!!!!

you quickly place your other foot onto the board and your eyes widen in surprise

you’re really doing it!!!!!

you’re actually skateboARding!

“oh my god, look, yoongi!!! i’m doing it!!!” you squeal excitedly and keep your eyes on the ground because woW you’re going surprisingly fast

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise

well would ya look at that

of course all you’re doing is standing on the board right now but it’s still pretty impressive that you haven’t lost balance and fallen yet

and just when you think you have the hang of it-

“hOld on wait watch out for the-!”

you shRiek when the skateboard rolls over a larger dip in the pavement and the next thing you know you’re hurdling to the ground and the skateboard ziPS out from underneath your feet

yoongi gasps and reaches up to slaP his hands over his eyes

he counts for three seconds before peeking out from in between his fingers “…you good?” he winces at the sight of you on your hands and knees on the pavement

oof

“does it look like i’m good??” you let out a groan as you push yourself up off the ground before bending over to look at your now bloODY knees

you pick the skateboard up and hook it underneath your arm like how you’ve seen yoongi do it before turning and literally hobbling over to him

yoongi can’t help but laugh lightly because even when ur limping ur cute

for the record

he feels awful because he probably shouldn’t have let you go so crazy on your first try

“lucky for you, i have a first aid kit in my bag! take a seat on the sidewalk, champ.”

you let out a groan of pain as you plop down on the sidewalk before taking a look at the damage

both your knees are scratched up and bleeding

your right knee is a liTTle more busted up because that was the knee you fell on

your palms are scratched up too but at least they’re not bleeding

and somehow you managed to scuff up your knuckles??

eW there’s a little pebble wedged into your palm

you wince lightly as you pick it out before flicking it aside

youCh

“if it makes you feel any better, i think that was a pretty good first try!” yoongi chirps “…now spread ur legs so i can sit.”

“wha- why can’t you just sit on the side?” you gawk at yoongi and he gives you that signature min yoongi Are You Kidding Me? look

“you hurt both of your knees and both of your hands. if i sat on one side then i would have to get up and move to the other side and if you think about it that takes a loT of energy and-“

“oh, for christ’s sakes, fine-“ you roll your eyes playfully and part your legs a little

yoongi smiles satisfactorily before sitting cross-legged on the ground in between your legs and you instinctively pull your skirt down a little just so you won’t flAsh him

the two of you sit in silence as yoongi pulls a couple bandaids and mini thing of antiseptic spray out of the metal tin

now that you have a moment to think

…that was so embarrassingGgGGG goD you wanna DIE

your body is wounded and sO is your pride

“oW-“ you hiss and flinch when yoongi sprays the antiseptic over the fresh wound

he freezes and looks up and you with a sheepish smile “…sorry.”

and that’S when you notice a very interesting detail

“..are those peppa pig bandaids?” you snort when you notice the bright pink pig-pattered bandaid on your right knee

“they were the cheapest option.” yoongi sighs and smooths the bandaid over your left knee “and they’re gangster.”

wow

the boy u have a crush on thinks peppa pig is gang$ter

…you have very interesting taste in men

yoongi has a little divot in between his brows as he concentrates on cleaning and dressing your cuts

he’s so cute it hurts :-(

“by the way, this is aLL your fault so you’re going to have to find a way to make it up to me-“

you immediately choke over your own words when yoongi leans down and plants a little kith over the bandaid on your right kneecap before moving on to kiss the one on the left

he takes your hands and frowns when he notices a bright red cut peeking out from underneath the peppa pig bandaid

he’s going to need to get some bigger ones for next time

for a second you think your heart actually stoPs beating when yoongi looks up and locks gazes with you as he sponges gentle kisses over your bandaged palm and flips your hand over to continue trailing kisses til he reaches your scuffed up knuckles

“what were you saying?” yoongi hums and lets go of your hand and you feel like your soul literally floated out of your body after whatever the hell that was and you’re kind of just chilling up in space right now

“i- i was saying that-“ yoongi shifts in his spot on the ground before shuffling a little closer to you “um, that you- this was your fault so you’d have to find a way to make it up to me-“

okay

yeah

yoongi has come to the conclusion that he has absolutely no self control because-

“uh-huh, yeah-“ the next thing you know yoongi’s pulling you down from the sidewalk and riGht onto his lap (which probably wasn’t a very smart move on his part because now your sore knees are on the ground) and the next nExt thing you know he’s pressing his lips against yours in a heated kiss

in all honesty he was hoping he’d come off smoother than this but you don’t seem to mind because you’re kissing him back fairly eagerly

your mind is all cloudy because woW you’re kissing yoongi again and it feels so nice and his lips are softer than ever and he tastes like that damn mint gum he’s always chewing on in class

you keep your hands to yourself for the meantime because you’re just not sure where they should go

as if he could read your thoughts, yoongi grabs your hands before placing them on his chest

he’s just hoping that you can’t feel his heart racing

you unknowingly let out a pitiful little whine when yoongi pulls away and he’s more than pleased to see your cheeks all flushed and your lips all sticky and swollen

nothing gets him going more than seeing his effect on you

>:-)

“so, did i make it up to you- mMph-!“ yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise when you lean forward to slot your lips against his once more

this is a pleasant surprise

okay!!!!!!!

this is good!!!!!

more kissing is good!!!!!!

he responds with tender, soft smacked noises as he kisses you back just as enthusiastically and he gives your hips an encouraging little squeeze

there’s something just so cute about your kisses

you kind of taste like candied apples for some reason and yoongi wants nothing more than to suck your bottom lip into his mouth but he’ll take it easy because he doesn’t want it to be too much too fast

after all this is the first time you’Ve initiated this kind of contact

you don’t want to ruin the moment

but uh

your legs are getting kind of sore

buT you don’t want to have to stop kissing yoongi!!!! r u kidding!!!

your intention was just to get more comfortable in yoongi’s lap (because your knees are scREAMING) but in your haste to move, your leg slips a little and you end up quite literally grinding down on yoongi

his fingers immediately dig into the flesh of your hips and he groans lowly in the back of his throat

“jesus, baby-“ the nickname rolls off his tongue casually and you will fully admit that you! don’t! mind! at! all!

“my bad…” you giggle lightly and curl your fingers into the material of his t-shirt before pulling him closer to you

eventually you become a little out of breath and you’re forced to pull away

but you keep your face close to yoongi’s and when you open your eyes you’re met with the face of the stupidly handsome boy who never fails to make your head spin and your heart hiccup

yoongi nudges his nose against yours before the corner of his mouth tweaks in a particularly cheeky smirk

“i told you this was going to be fun.”

anyways yoongi ends up piggy-backing y/n back to her apartment but she has to carry both her and yoongi’s backpacks so it’s not really a win-win situation lolz

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

drabble tag

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marybeatriceofmodena · 8 years ago

Note

How likely do you think it is that kylo's arc will end in his death, by Rey's hand or otherwise?

Very, very, VERY unlikely. For so many reasons, and some of them don’t even have to do with Kylo.

It’s basically impossible now that he won’t get redeemed. If it is the case, we’d have a pretty bleak story, and Star Wars is anything but bleak. And it would have terrible implications.

He has to be put like a rabid dog and the root of it all comes from Snoke, who was in his head since Ben/Kylo was in Leia’s womb, and it’s implied he was already harming him: Leia could sense it, but she could do nothing about it.

Like, think about it: what kind of a message would it send that a victim of child abuse and grooming, especially the child of two heroes, cannot be saved, especially when Star Wars has always, and always will be, a story about redemption?

Just for Leia, it’d be absolutely terrible for her son to be killed because he’s too far gone. Like, come on, Leia’s basically the Sansa Stark of Star Wars:

Her father was a Jedi Knight secretly married to a Senator: it ended up with him turning to the Dark Side and becoming a Sith Lord who murdered masses of people and her mother dying when she gave birth to Leia and Luke.

She has a happy childhood, but it all ends with her getting tortured by her biological dad, no less, and her home planet getting destroyed in front of her very eyes and her adoptive parents dying at the same time.

She meets a man she falls in love with, and then he gets tortured and frozen in carbonite.

She manages to free him and get with him and all eventually, and that’s pretty much the only positive thing that happens to her in all the OT apart from meeting her twin brother again.

Let me add that she was forced into a metal bikini and thank God Jabba didn’t have time to do anything with her… I’m still shuddering, though.

She discovers her father is Darth Vader, and with everything I’ve described above, all I can say is YOUCH.

She joins the effort into rebuilding the New Republic, and from what I gather of Bloodline (I haven’t read Aftermath), it wasn’t easy.

She becomes pregnant, and from what I read, it was unexpected.

She has a very rocky relationship with Han, even though they did love each other, and this damaged their kid emotionally.

Her only kid becomes manipulated FROM THE FUCKING WOMB by Snoke, and she can do nothing about it, so she has to separate herself from him and send him to Luke.

The situation in the Senate only becomes worse and worse, and when her lineage is revealed, she is disgraced, even if she’s a war hero.

She has to build up the Resistance without the support of the New Republic, who seemingly doesn’t consider the First Order as much as a threat as they should.

Her son, after 23 years of getting influenced and groomed by Snoke, falls to the Dark Side.

Han dies killed by their own son.

GIVE THAT POOR WOMAN A BREAK ALREADY. And with Carrie’s passing, I mean, what is even going to happen to Leia? Either they recast her, either… well, Leia dies in this trilogy. And how on Earth will you have Han and Leia’s only son die evil and have both Han and Leia, two of the most beloved characters of all time, die in such a tragic way?

Because that’s the point: if Kylo dies all evil and stuff, Han’s death becomes utterly pointless. Han didn’t die because Kylo tricked him: I mean, what kind of a death is that for HAN FUCKING SOLO. Han died and at the same time proved to Kylo that “you know what, son, you suck at being a villain, go back home and apologize to Mom”. Because, I’m sorry, that is not the face of someone who’s basking in the power of the Dark Side after doing an Evul Evul Deed.

Was Kylo being a douchebag here? Yes. Was killing Han totally wrong? FUCK YES, WHO ON EARTH IS GOING TO DISAGREE WITH YOU ON THAT ONE. But as I said, Han knew that by letting himself be vulnerable and giving away his life, he’d prove once and for all to his son that despite whatever feeling of abandonment he might have had in the past, he LOVED him. Until the very end. And that’s the best ending you could hope for someone who started out as a selfish smuggler.

I could say honestly that I want Kylo to be redeemed for Han and Leia’s sake.

As for him being killed by Rey… how is that any good for Rey? How is that even remotely heroic? How would Leia ever be okay with that? Would she even be able to forgive Rey? I mean, don’t come and tell me that Leia would totally reject Kylo because he killed Han. I fully expect her to be pissed at the very least, but at the same time, we see that at the moment where the son killed the father, not only Leia felt Han’s death, but she also felt her kid’s pain. AND JESUS CHRIST, I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WOMAN MANAGES TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. SHE HAS A RESISTANCE TO LEAD, AN IDIOTIC NEW REPUBLIC THAT STANDS THERE HELPLESS UNTIL THE FIRST ORDER BLOWS UP A FUCKING PLANET, AND HER KID WHO GOT GROOMED SINCE THE WOMB IS AT THE HANDS OF FUCKING SATAN AND SHE STILL CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM. I MEAN, IF KYLO CAME BACK CRAWLING TO HER AND BEGGING FOR HER FORGIVENESS, SURE, SHE’D GIVE HIM A GOOD SLAP, THEN SHE’D PROBABLY BE SO HAPPY THAT HER BABY IS FINALLY HOME AFTER ALL THAT SHIT, BECAUSE SHE CAN FINALLY CATCH A BREATH FOR ONCE IN HER FUCKING CRAZY LIFE.

Ahem.

Anyway, I do think Rey’s feelings towards Kylo will change. Now, I’m not saying it’s going to be romantic, but I want to point out that if you look at ANH, there are absolutely no clues that Darth Vader is Luke’s dad, that he has any redeemable traits, and that Luke will end up wanting to save him. And sure, everyone agrees to say that at the end of TFA, Rey hates Kylo’s guts. But I don’t see *why* it should stay static, because the hero/villain dynamic has always been the most important in SW, like it or not.

And sure, it *could* be a possibility Kylo has a last minute redemption and dies at the very end, but it would be way too similar to what we’ve already seen in the OT. And I thought one of the complaints about TFA was that it was too similar to ANH… right?

Yeah. That’s all the reasons I can think of right now. Sorry if I got a bit passionate, lol.

#star wars #kylo ren #ben solo #leia organa #han solo #rants and reviews #anon asks

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etherealising · 1 year ago

Text

ngl i was worried when i didn't see your reaction, glad you just missed the uploads!! hope you're doing great!!! ☺️

yayy!!! i'm so happy you're getting caught up!! although i have to say, maybe save some of that hurt for the next chappie…

bear with me and my many many notes for this long and beautiful update🫶🏻

hahahaha 'bear' your many many updates are incredibly welcome! NEVER APOLOGIZE (please) 😇

GODDAMN!!! we’re just jumping straight into it! okay, okay, i see you lol. poor carmy - mikey is such an idiot (loving) for giving carmy something to be angsty at baby for

carmy is shaking in his boots that baby is working there and he isn't

maybe, JUST MAYBE, it’s because you look like a lovesick fool around baby you silly boy

he's just like hmm strange lady that one is

he is a lovesick FOOL. drawing her?? in the book SHE got him?? i’m dead fr.

right like bestie please get some help its embarrassing at this point! 🙃

i knew that going back in time would possibly mean some claire angst and the masochist in me loves it but i also need her to swiftly ✨get the fuck away✨

the masochist in me indeed loves it too and claire but i have to agree miss girl needs to bounce.

YOUCH. that one! that one hurt deep. the pain of unrequited (she thinks) love is other worldly.

it hurts so good! i forget half the angst i write my gosh does it bring me joy to hurt my own feelings sometimes.

broooooooo just tell her you love her already

DE NILE

right!?!? like i knew this was coming, you knew this was coming, my neighbor knew this was coming and it's still so heartbreaking.

have you even lived life if you haven’t experienced the PAIN of having to say this sentence. ouch.

LICHERALLY this sentence has been in my vocabulary for far too long.

i was 🤏🏼 this close to throwing hands with carmy until i read this paragraph… boi is on THIN ICE still though

i know you know the outcome…but the ice is non-existent.

it wouldn't be a bear fic without the quintessential found family aspect.

oooooooh yeah. carmys going to get his ass kicked in the future i’m calling it now.

carmy said if i ignore my problems they simply cease to exist.

jesus christ this hurts so good - you just know this is one of those moments that just HAUNTS baby after he dies. these words are never leaving her fr.

lot of things concerning our big bro mikey won't be leaving her…

LOL too bad its going to fall on deaf ears

carmy: but she looks so good walking away from me 🥸

the way that baby has all but asked him to prom and this idiot is still nervous to ask her

laid the 'invitation' on a silver platter and he's still giggling and kicking his feet back and forth.

it’s okay king we’re all delusional

thinks about baby in the most romantic ways possible but doesn't want to go with her romantically????

NO HE DIDNT. NO HE FUCKING DIDNT. okay i take it all back i’m gonna pummel him for this. shaking my DAMN HEAD.

i'll ref the fight (my moneys on you)

honestly i’m team hayden for this - carmy should be taking notes

hayden is winning everyone's hearts at this point!

okay so he’s safe from getting pummeled for now since hes just a stupid dumb boy but he’s still on thin ice.

claire saw her opportunity and took it

i think at this point i need to just kick his ass because everytime he gets out of a hole he jumps into a deeper one w t f

at this point i think we all collectively deserve to beat this boy up, the line starts behind you!

how supremely ironic and hypocritical of him

someone get this kid a psychic

i absolutely love this paragraph and how well it shows the complexities surrounding baby’s feelings about claire. just really really well written. and also OUCH.

thank you!!! baby tries so hard not to blame claire and make this a girl v girl thing because like it shouldn't be

on a scale of 1-10 how bad of a person am i for thinking ‘full offense to claire’ with no hesitation

you said it out loud, but i sure was thinking it

THEY REALLY ARE TWEEDLE DEE AND TWEEDLE DUMB THEY ARE THEY ARE

one collective brain cell between these besties!

i am laughing so hard at this oh my god - i love them so much it hurts. i’m reallllllllly not excited to say goodbye to the dynamic duo😞

their little quips are so fun to write goodness i'm gonna cry when mikey is gone 😅

methinks that this is going to come into play later lolololol

methinks you might just be right…

i want to watch this carmy brawl with future carmy because future carmy did a shit job at this

future carmy ain't no betta

the way i can’t even be happy about this because i know the amount of absolute shit he’s about to put her through

same i was like let me finish this scene cause i know it ain't no happy ending

i do, however, love this. i love how intimate and real it is - first kisses are awkward but that’s what makes them so fun

right two little awko tacos in love but too stupid to do anything more about it

i feel some bullshit brewing and i am shaking in my boots

the chanel boots?

wowwwwwwwww that didn’t take long. i’m not even surprised but goddamn does it hurt all the same.

boy really pulling a hannah montana right now smh

crying in the walk-in builds character😤 #hotgirlshit

someone trap carmy in there a few years early please!!

that carmy x self-sabotage tag working real hard lately

i know I say it every time but i freaking love reading your reactions soo much they make my heart happy 😭😭