#(you remember when anne told marilla she lost her favourite amethyst brooch in a pond

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

I was talking with someone on Twitter about how it would be far more interesting for a character who meant to sacrifice themselves thinking they had nothing else to live for to survive by accident and then have to figure out what to do now while also being low-key mortified about being so dramatic earlier.

I mean, picture Eddie Munson’s embarrassment. He tried to do a heroic last stand and poignant last words…

and then he wakes up five minutes later with Dustin, Steve, Robin and Nancy all struggling to push him back through the gate like a sack of potatoes.

“Jesus Christ, he doesn’t look this heavy.”

“Try pushing his butt.”

“Yeah, I really don’t think he’ll mind.”

“Dumbass, what was he thinking?”

He plays dead for a few minutes rather than have to explain, but he’s kind of bad at it.

“Why is his tongue hanging out now?”

“We know you’re faking, Eddie, you fucking moaned when I was giving you CPR.”

And he makes a full recovery, albeit with some gnarly scars, and arrangements are made to “clear his name” (with a big old fake alibi) so he doesn’t have to go to court and prison and everything, and he winds up pretty happy but for the rest of his days if he gets a bit too dramatic about having a tummy-ache or accidentally nicking his knuckle grating cheese it’s “Oh no, Eddie, are you going to graduate again?”