#(whereas Dating vs Falling In Love With A Friend…egh. makes my skin crawl. gets my aro showing the most.)

[void-tiger]

Saw on my dash how “x is allowed to exist, but y is not.”

And. Hoo boy. No. No “x” is NOT allowed to exist. If I say I’m asexual, I’m expected to also be 0% Romantic Aromantic Asexual. If I describe what I would want in a romantic relationship, I’m told it’s “just” a friendship. If I describe my demiromanticism, that’s just a “good head on my shoulders” or has people suspicious I’m only friends with them to date them—neither is true. I can and will sit with romantic feelings that ONLY develop when someone is SAFE platonically indefinitely. But also demiromanticism is not “Aromantic Enough” and therefore I’m not “Aroace Enough”. Asexuality and dating? Either you break your boundaries or the other person feels physically neglected or you can’t have exclusivity. Dating apps? Free ones do not include asexuals with the full features—it’s either a trial period or essentially a paying Allo has to approach YOU—with maybe the exception of Tinder. Paid service apps that include or are for asexuals are few and far between.

Remind me how romantic/grey&demi aromantic asexuals are so “accepted.” Because this isn’t even getting into the constant allonormative messaging. This is just the practicality of when an asexual falls in love, wants to date someone, or would like to try experiencing either.