#(unless washing or combing the hair obvs)

[spacemancharisma]

Hey you said feel free to ask hygiene questions. How often should you be doing stuff? Like showering, washing hair, washing bedding? Washing re-wearable clothing like jeans or jackets or bras that I think you can wear multiple times without needing to wash?

Idk other esp hygiene or cleaning activities that you need to do sometimes.

Like they tell you brush your teeth twice a day but not how often you need to wash other things.

yeah this is a really good question! I’m putting it under the cut since it got p long lol

so showering is ideally every day, but that can be difficult for some people, so as close to that as you can manage is good. if you have days that it’s too much, wiping down with a rag or a baby wipe is good. be sure to thoroughly clean your genitals/butthole every night before bed, just for your health. on baby wipe days, i get that whole zone really clean, and also my armpits, feet, and anywhere my skin folds over bc sweat tends to trap there. wash your face well at least once a day (I do it in the shower) and if you’re up to it, give it a good scrub with just water at the other end of the day. there’s no hygiene gain or loss from shaving any part of your body, so do that as much or little as is your preference. I put on deodorant at least twice a day (when I wake up & after I shower), or whenever I’m feeling sweaty/stinky.

washing your hair really depends on its length and texture and I can only speak to white person hair care, but as far as that goes- I have thick, curly hair, and I wash it every 2-3 days. people with greasier hair tend to wash it more often. like with most things, a good test is to wash whenever it starts to have a smell, or more frequently than that lol. comb your hair out when you wash it to keep it from getting matted. people with straight hair brush it dry, too, but that isn’t something I do personally.

clothes go by the smell principle too, mostly. shirts can get two or three wears unless they’re sweaty/stained/stinky. pants made of a thick material can usually last a week, though some people stretch their jeans out even more if they’re good material. again- if it starts to have a smell, put it in the laundry. bras are also good for a week or so at a time as long as they’re not stinky. jackets and stuff go by the same principle, and they last a long time usually, since they don’t touch your skin directly. underwear should be changed at least once a day and not reworn, same with socks.

washcloths should only be used once, but bath towels can get two or three uses. hand towels should be switched/washed about once a week.

people tell you to change/wash your bedsheets once a week but I don’t know anyone who does that lmao. changing your sheets every two weeks or so is usually good; you might want to do so more frequently though if you’re sick or eating in bed or having a lot of sex or something hfbggjg

like you said, brushing your teeth is standard once in the morning and once at night. if you want to do a bonus one halfway through the day, that’s probably good for you, but most people don’t. brush your tongue when you brush your teeth- it only takes a couple seconds and it does a lot apparently. get a new toothbrush at least every 6 months, if not more often.

body chores: clip your finger/toenails as often as works best for you. I can’t stand having long nails so I trim them once a week, but that would obvs be different if you like long nails. floss as often as you can, but don’t feel bad if you’re not consistent- very few people are. put lotion on your body if your skin gets dry- I recommend aveeno, it’s not greasy and it works really well. if you have sex toys, clean them before and after every use (it’s a pain but you do Not want to fuck with any kind of germs down there).

household chores: clean toilet- once a week. clean bathroom sinks/tub: once a month (clean mirrors while you’re at it). empty trash cans- once a week. clean kitchen counters- every time you cook. clean stovetop- once a week. dust- once a month but this one’s kinda optional lmao. laundry- before you run out of clean clothes/towels. dishes- before you run out of clean dishes. floors- my family vacuumed/swept once a week growing up but as an adult I just kinda follow my heart here lol. change pet litter- at least once a week.

health: you’re supposed to see your GP once a year for a regular health check, and that’s good to get blood work done to make sure your hormones and such are all balanced, but it’s okay if you don’t keep a super strict schedule with that. dentists you really should see once every 6 months, or at least once a year. if you have a uterus, get a pap smear done every 5 years. get checked for STIs with each new partner, or once a year. keep track of your period if you have one so you know if there are irregularities; change tampons/pads as needed, you know best, but remember to never sleep with a tampon in. give yourself a breast self-exam at least once every few months, if applicable. drink water consistently throughout the day, listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry, try to have at least one fruit or vegetable a day (doesn’t have to be whole/raw, just get those nutrients where you can). the average number of times in a day to pee is apparently 6-7, but I’d say anywhere from 5-10 is normal, idk I’m not a pee expert. either way, stay aware of your body and it’s needs and don’t hold your pee if you have literally any other options- your kidneys are important and that hurts them. you should poop 1-2 times a day, not accounting for any health conditions that might change that. do your best to get 8-9 hours of sleep a night, and get your body in motion for at least 30 minutes a day- this could be a gentle walk or even doing household chores, the important thing is to keep your muscles and joints flexible. do some basic stretches once a day.

and some closing remarks- I’m really proud of you for reaching out to ask, cause I know it can be really hard to talk about this stuff. there’s absolutely no shame in ignorance, and similarly, there is no shame in being dirty/smelly. as humans, we tend to keep ourselves and our surroundings clean because it’s better for our health and our sensory experience, and it makes us more pleasant for others to be around, but it’s important to remember that none of this is a moral imperative. I grew up in a house that made it seem like you were a bad person if you were dirty or you smelled like BO, and that’s not a healthy or accurate approach to things. keeping proper hygiene when you can is important, but because it makes your life more pleasant to live, not because it’s a sin or a slight to do otherwise. just do your best to take care of yourself, and you’re doing great 💜

[viking-badger]

Minimum effort depressive hygiene:

Face: I'm really not for "natural organic uwu" bullshit but like. Few drops of tea tree oil in a glass of water, spray it on your face. It won't make your skin oily (trust me) and it will be soft and cleanish.

Hair: obv dry shampoo spray, and condisioner spray. At least comb it with fingers.

Feet: Listen don't forget them. If it isn't too tall you may wash your feet in bathroom sink, or even better - if you have it - bidet. idfc about the hatred bidets get, they're amazing.

Genitals and anal area: Again, if you have a bidet, great!!! But if you don't, and REALLY can't make yourself to go in the shower, there are water degradable wet tissues for those areas.

Armpits: pls use deodorant regularly. You may not smell it but they are the first traitors of depression neglect. If you use spray deodorant, you can spray it all over your body.

Body: Antiseptic wet tissues. I've had fungi on back from depression neglect. pls do at least that much.

Teeth: Mouthwash. It isn't the same as actually brushing but it's better than nothing.

I am not saying these are good enough for regular use. These are better than nothing when you can't do any better.

Also: I am Europian so if there is sth not relatable for America like, you can add your helpful tips

Also pt 2: It isn't healthy to wash your hair, body and teeth too often, unless you work with kids, or in a hospital, or are a construction worker etc. Don't let the media make you spend lots of money for shit you need just because you use it.

This has been my Ted Talk.

Also pt 3: Feel free to add more

[wormwonder]

mermay 2022 - 9

[mariusperkins]

FIC: sunlight that surrounds you (1/1)

Hadrian has always been a man of faith. This applies to his heart as much as other aspects of his life.

A/N: @madelinestarr  tweeted about rosana being a goddess and so obvs we had to write about that.

Read it here or on AO3

Rosana walks away from the pantheon of gods - her family - feeling their eyes at her back. Some are hurt: it feels like the sting of a betrayal for her to shed her powers like a cloak and leave it at their feet, discarding cosmic powers for the love of a mortal man.

She smiles, closing her eyes as she tilts her face up to the warmth of the sun. It’s a farewell, of sorts.

“Thank you, brother.”

Samothes, perhaps, understands her best in this regard. He, too, has felt the grasp of love tighten around his chest and sink deep into his heart. His eyes were sadder than those of their siblings, but he had only nodded, once, when she had told them of her decision.

She could have followed his path, pulling Hadrian into their world as Samothes had pulled Samot, but Hadrian is so very mortal. He has always been a man of faith and his heart, his love, works no differently. Rosana does not think he would adapt well to being a figure of worship, a being with unlimited power.

He would have tried, if she had asked it of him, but the separation that immortality brings would not have sit well upon his shoulders. Hadrian is as much a man of the people as he is a man of his faith, and she would not take that from him.

Hadrian lives in a small house near his church, his rooms clean and sparsely furnished. He had made many of the items himself, an act of devotion to Samothes. He seemed embarrassed by the plainness of the rooms, the first time she had visited him, but she does not need rich furs and golden thrones to be worshiped. She needs only Hadrian for that.

She has only Hadrian for that, now.

She has been worshiped well enough here in these rooms to be satisfied many times over. Hadrian says her name more reverently than any prayer. He stays on his knees as long as she asks it of him and seems glad for it, her body more divine to him than any holy wine.  

The others think she will miss her life among them, and perhaps she will, in time, but not today. Today she will look upon Hadrian's face as his mortal equal, and feel the warmth of his body sink deep into her, and feel more of a divine being than she ever has wielding power in her hands. She is born anew in this small, plain room on this small, plain bed into a mortal life.

Hadrian has always been favoured by the gods, but now he shall have her mortal favour as well.

Mortal life takes some adjusting to. The day-to-day of it, remembering to eat, to drink, to sleep - there’s so many small actions to do, it is a wonder anyone has time to build cities, to plow fields, to wage war. When she says as much to Hadrian, he laughs, and pulls her close to him. His cheek feels warm where he leans it against the top of her head.

“I will remind you,” says Hadrian.

He does, coming home from the church for his midday meal, trying his best to recreate food of the gods with what they have available at the markets that day. He helps her wash hair, kneeling beside the tub to comb sweet smelling shampoos through it as she stretches her legs out of the soapy water. Hadrian averts his gaze unless she directs him to look, although now it is less because of the godly aspect within her and more to do with Hadrian’s own deference.

Other mortal experiences are not quite as enjoyable. Grief, hunger, and exhaustion are not new experiences, but they are newly strong - overpowering her in this small body. It makes her skin feel right, too small to hold all of her in. She accidentally scalds her skin that first night, holding her hand under too-hot water. Hadrian is gentle as he runs cold water over it.

“You must be more careful,” he says. His eyes are full of his worries.

Rosana nods, flexing her hand under the cool water, marvelling at the fading tingle of pain. Hadrian presses a kiss to the back of her hand as the cold water flows over it. It does not remove the pain, but later when Rosana feels the faint throb of her hand she thinks of Hadrian’s kiss rather than the pain of the hot water.

Other pains are less tangible. Her father, dying slowly, out in the woods so very far from where she now lives. It weighs heavily on her, a different kind of pain, the kind that distracts her during the day and keeps her awake during the nights. In her constant worrying she forgets to eat, making her snap in frustration at Hadrian over nothing. She forgets so often that she collapses at his feet outside the market, Hadrian's worried voice echoing as her vision blurs.

He dutifully feeds her broth for a week, like one bringing twice daily offerings to a shrine. Although she knows he has much to do, sits beside her on the bed that he made for her as a wedding present, slowly reminding her to drink water as he quietly reads to her from her own holy book, now a relic of a forgotten God. She hear her own words anew in his voice.

She sleeps a lot for the next week, and vaguely recalls her brother Samot visiting them, hovering outside their bedroom to speak alone with Hadrian. Samot has always had an interest in Hadrian that Rosana has always been amenable to satisfying, but Samothes is quite a jealous god. She thinks she smirks in her sleep, but when she asks Hadrian later, he is too quiet for any good story.

“You’re an aunt, my love,” he says, slowly over dinner the next evening.

She laughs, loud and brilliant and Hadrian, as always, cannot look away. Her dear brother, always making something new.

“Samothes and Samot, they... they made something, a child, while you were asleep. I don’t quite understand how, and Samot, for being a God of Learning, isn’t very good at describing the concept of divine beings just creating something from Nothing and...”

Rosana puts a hand on his forearm, and Hadrian breathes out. She taps a small rhythm onto his skin: his own heartbeat. He is calmer for her touch but still too quiet for her liking. There was a time she could have plucked the thoughts from his head at her will, but that time is no longer. Now she must tease the words from him slowly and take it on faith that they are true to his heart. For the first time, such a task worries her.

She turns to him after they lie together in their small bed. He is still, but awake, his tired eyes looking up at the bare ceiling.

Rosana shifts, laying a hand over his heart. The steady beat of it is as reassuring and unwavering as Hadrian himself. She presses a kiss to the underside of his jaw and he looks at her, tiredness leaving his eyes a little.

“Hadrian,” says Rosana softly, “would you like for us to make a child?”

Hadrian is quiet for a moment, and Rosana can feel his steady breaths, in and out, under her hand.

“I… yes,” says Hadrian, “yes, I would.”

Rosana smiles, raising herself up, pressing the lines of their bodies against each other. Hadrian eyes flutter closed as she presses a kiss to his forehead, a blessing. Hadrian's touch is as gentle as it ever was, hands that are rough from battle run lightly over her sides.

That, at least, has not changed. Even when she could not be hurt by mortal means, Hadrian touched her as though she was as fragile as spun sugar. Hadrian's touch makes her feel like her old self, powerful and shining. It is not unwelcome, when such a feeling comes from him.

Rosana cups his cheeks, feeling the rough stubble on her palm for a moment before she kisses him. Hadrian gasps her name as she sinks into him and feels like a thousand followers praising her name.

Perhaps, thinks Rosana, watching Hadrian's face as she rises and falls above him, there is merit to talking the words of another on faith.

She thinks a lot about names as the small, new life grow inside of her. Names are important. Names have power.

If Hadrian has opinions about their child's name he doesn't push them, offering small suggestions people have passed on to him, giving little of his own thoughts on the matter away.

Rosana thinks, briefly, about calling their son Alexander, before discarding it. Hadrian is not the sort of man concerned with legacy, and it feels too much to put upon their child's shoulders.

Samothes visits her in her dreams. She teases him a little about being too busy to visit with her properly, but she thinks they are both glad to be able to avoid the fuss such a visit would bring. In the morning there is a crib in the nursery when there was not one before, the dark wood gleaming in the morning light. It's warm to the touch and smells a little like volcanic ash, like home.

Rosana turns to face the morning sun and smiles.

The birth is fast, a blur of pain and the movement of those around her. Only Hadrian is a steady presence at her side, holding her hand, wiping a cool cloth across her forehead and neck with his free hand as he kneels at the bedside, his touch no less reverent though this is certainly the most mortal she has ever been, ever felt.

When she holds her son, sweaty and exhausted, he looks up at her with wide eyes.

A name flutters through her mind.

“Benjamin,” says Rosana.

Hadrian hums, and presses a kiss to her head. She leans back against him, enjoying the solid warmth at her back. He reaches out and hesitantly touches her son, their son, on the cheek.

“Benjamin,” says Hadrian softly, “yes.”

The creation of something new in this world has never been foreign to her; she has rewitten time again and again to her liking, something from nothing over and over again.

Seeing her son, her son, in the arms of her husband (her husband) as he gently hums an old hymn to her feels different though, feels new.

The notes of her hymns used to rise above churches and midwives’ homes and the worship would invigorate her, give her more strength and power. Here, it is softer. The late afternoon light filters in from the window as Hadrian rocks back in forth in the chair he made himself, peace radiating off him. Benjamin stares up at him, wide-eyed and quiet.

Divine power could never fill her as this could. Rosana drinks a hot cup of tea, and watches them.